To my sweet, sweet boy,

you brought such joy to my life. thank you, honey. I miss you so much. I love you even more!

I LOVE YOU, TREVOR!
XOMommyXO

Hi, Bobbie, stopping by to say hello to you and your beloved Trevor. I hope this finds you feeling better, Bobbie. Are you still in Minnestoa? I hope everything is going okay for your family.

It is always a blessing logging into your forum and sharing your beautiful love letters to your beloved Trevor. Thank you so much for sharing with us your and your beloved Trevor's beautiful love story.

I hope life is treating you kindly, Bobbie. Please know you, your precious Dreamer, your husband, and all your family are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I always look forward to sharing your news and your beautiful love letters to your beloved Trevor.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Oh my Trevor,

I miss you, my sweet boy. I miss you so much. I love you even more. I love you beyond the stars. You are the best.

XOXO
Mommy
XOXO

Dearest Trevor,

I see so many new names and babies added to this site every day. I wish I could comfort each and every one of them, but that is impossible. That's where you come in. There must be a way to let all these heartbroken mommies and daddies know that their precious loved one(s) is NOT alone. You and Hermy and Gretta say "Hello" to each and every one of them as they enter the Paradise world beyond the Rainbow Bridge. None of you has been in Heave very long yourselves, but each of you has a way of welcoming and making each "newbie" feel comfortable, loved and never alone. You can't wait to hear about their loved ones still on the earth and the terrific stories each has to tell. Some wil notbelieve me at all, some will think that we are "religious" and in a way we are because we beieve in something/one that moves beyond the physical restraints of this world to a "place" spiritual in some way that is perfect. And since you are there, you then become PERFECT, too! I know this helps me at those times that I just miss you beyond any control. And I KNOW that one day you and I will be together forever. THAT is the BEST!

Have a beautiful night, my sweet boy. Give my love to Hermy, Gretta, your brothers and cousins, family and friends, the little dog that was poisoned and the little dog that died in his crate. Give extra LOVE to the newbies (your tour must be awesone) and especially those who are not remembered. That's where Gretta's mom, Hermy's Mommy and me come in.

I LOVE YOU, TREVOR!
XOMommyXO

Good Morning my sweet boy!

Each time I read ,"I Love You Trevor" it reinforces the love I have for you and the loss that is so deeply etched in my heart. I am sure that many out there think that I am "stuck" and cannot move on. I think the definition of "move on" is very ambiquitous (sp). I have a new rescue boy doggie named Dreamer that I love so very much. He is completely different than any other of my guys, but each one was totally unique and that's why I loved them so much. Dreamer is just over 2 years old, loves kids and people, stuffed animals and tennis balls. For only being 2, he's very calm and yet can get out there and play as hard as the next guy (dog or human). I cannot imagine not waking up with him nor snuggling with him before we fall asleep. I'm glad he's young, so, hopefully, we can live together for many years, although my preference is older dogs who really need our love and understanding. In other words, Dreamer and I ARE moving into a future that is totally ours.

However, that, in no way, dimishes the incredibly special relationship that you and I had. I still find it impossible to find the correct type or number of words to even come close to describing how much you loved all those that didn't hurt you, or gave you treats or say calmly by your side, talking with you. There is no earthly reason that you affected me in the most profound way that you did. I can think of only one word that describes you to a "T" - Trevor. And those few, special people that had the pleasure of knowing you understand completely.

Have a most peaceful, warm, sunny day, my love. Together with Hermy, Gretta, Tucker, Gina, your brothers and cousins, the tremendous number of friends you have by now, the little dog that was poisoned, the little dog that died in his crate, the little what dog that was killed on the side of an off-ramp, every one of the newbies that are constantly entering those heavenly doors and most especially, those who are not remembered by anyone.

I LOVE YOU, TREVOR!
XOMommyXO

Hi Bobbie

Thinking of you today and your beloved Trevor and your new doggie Dreamer. At the moment (although it's much earlier stages for me then you so I haven't even begun to) I am starting to believe that people can move on without really move on if that in any way makes sense to you.

Hope you are feeling good today and Trevor if you could look out for my Chewy I am sure he would love some friends to help him get use to being the other side of the bridge.

xxForeverxx

Dear xxForeverxx,

Consider it done.....looking out for Chewy.........

Trevor

Dearest Trevor,

Happy Valentine's Day, Mr. Trevor! I'm sending my love and hugs and kisses your way.

Don't forget to say hi to your wonderful mommy, Bobbie, okay?

Bunny Hugs,
Hermy's Mommy Lisa

Happy Valentine's Day to the sweetest, most loving little boy in the world. I love you, Trevor!





I love you, too, Hermy and Gretta.


XOMommyXO

Oh Trevor!

I miss you and I love you so. You have no idea how much I love you. Well, yes I think you do. I'm trying to hang in there until we can be together again.


I LOVE YOU, TREVOR!
XOMommyXO

Hi Trevor!

I cannot believe that another Friday is here. It's getting to be too many to count and keep track of. And I miss you and love you as much, maybe even more than that sad, sad day when we said goodbye. I remember every detail and how I let you down at the last moment, when I didn't get to you fast enough. I still want to hold onto your soft, warm body and feel the love that flows through it, even in death.

Trevor, you are my angel and I will never forget how good you were and are to me. Thank you for blessing me and making my life so much richer. I hope you and Gretta and Hermy are having a quiet rememberence night together.

I love you SO much, Trevor!

XOMommyXO (with the leaky eyes)

Dear Trevor,

Oh my darling! I miss you and love you so much. In fact, I got your picture laminated today so that it never gets ragged in my wallet. The guy at the stationary store thought you were beautiful. And, of course, you are!

I'm getting tired of not being able to visit you and light your daily candle. I cannot wait until I get home again. Meanwhile, I think of you all the time and hope you and Hermy are doing well.

Have a good night, my sweet boy, and know that I love you with all my heart.

I LOVE YOU, TREVOR!
XOMommyXO

Hello Trevor,

I almost didn't write anything tonight, but then I knew that that just would not be right and you would never do that to me, so here's Mommy once again. Would you believe that my dad gave me one of my mom's stuffed animals to slep with? A duck. He's a really fine looking duck and fits right into the crook of my arm. Daddy said I could take him home with me. And, of course, I have your picture at just the right height to see you every night as I lay on the living room floor mattresses.

Trevor, I feel so sorry for all the new people who come to this site in the same devatated manner I was just a few months (months?) ago. But see, I can still feel the searing pain in my body, my soul being cushed, and my heart shredding into a million pieces. Right now I cannot even calculate the number of weeks that we have been physically apart. You left this earth on July 22, 2011 (a Friday) and today is Sunday, February 19, 2012. However many weeks that is, it is entirely too many. But I don't want these new people thinking that the initial pain, confusion, despair and loneliness doesn't somehow change (get better) because it does. And it does in just the way that person or persons need it to change. The process takes time and that is what is so terribly difficult. Time. It does heal. Hold onto that thought, newbies. And, by no means does this change mean that you will not remember or forget you precious buddy who just passed. No, the memories come back and they keep coming back for years. Trevor, haven't I told you about Crocker? My first spaniel? He's been away for 25 years and I remember everything about him, as if it were yesterday.

Trevor, you gave me special graces that only come from God. You were His fountain and, daily, poured the soothing waters of love, understanding and need over my soul. I just wish you didn't have to suffer the way you did during the last few months. Once in a great while, I ask myself if I should have released you sooner, but I don't think either of us was ready for that. I'm still not ready. My eyes are starting to get leaky and the love for you in my heart is swelling by the second. Trevor, you were an angel, a special messanger sent to me at a time when I had incredible needs and didn't even know it until later. You filled in those needs, by asking me to take care of your many needs. I would do it a million times again if I had to, but I don't want to have to. I'd rather you stay in Heaven where you are feeling sooooooo good and happy; where you see all your brothers and cousin and new, dear friends like Hermy and Peggy. As badly and as deeply as I would love one more moment with you to hug, pet and love you, I know the pain would be there, too, and I could never do that to you.

So. my sweet boy, wait for me in that glorious animal/human land called Heaven. Store up all the fun you can because when Mommy gets there, you and I are in for the ride of our lives! Oh, we'll let the other boys come, too, but the first one is ours and only ours.

I LOVE YOU,TREVOR!
XOMommyXO

Hi Bobbie

Trevor thank you for finding my beloved Chewy and looking out for him.

I came to your post today to see how you were getting on and found your latest post and how wonderful it was to read it. I had tears in my eyes but everything you said puts so much meaning to everything I feel. Thank you.

Hope you are being treated well today.

Look forward to hearing from you again.

xxForeverxx

Hi, Bobbie, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing and your always heart-filled love letter with your beloved Trevor. It is hard to believe in the beginning of our grief journey how anything can be "right" again. It isn't a matter of things being "right" -- for everything is changed when our companions precede us to the angels. It is more a matter of adjusting to the "new normal" and this just takes time - - one day at a time, in our own and in our own time. As the deep grief eases we do come to realize that our beloved companions are always with us - - they are always in our hearts and memories - - they are always a heartbeat close to us. And this helps the "new normal" to not feel so painful.

I hope today is being kind to you, Bobbie. Thank you for sharing with us how you're doing and your beautiful love letters to your beloved Trevor. Please know you and your family and your precious Dreamer are in my thoughts and prayers, and always look forward to sharing your news and your beautiful letters to your beloved Trevor.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Oh, Trevor

I just figured out that we have been physically apart for just over 30 weeks or 210 days or 5040 hours.

To say I miss you just as much, if not more than that fateful morning is a gross understatement.

I love you more each day, too.

XOMommyXO

Oh Dear, Sweet Trevor,

I don't know what date is on this site's calendar, but I just suffered through February 22, which was the 7 month Angelversary of our parting. I know you want me to remember you with joy and laughter and hapiness and I try very hard to do that. but I also love and miss you so much that my heart just keeps on shatteriing, putting some of the pieces back together again, then shattering all over again. I ache with loneliness without you here and, yet, I cannot want you back here if you will, once again, be in pain and suffering. I would rather suffer all the pain and sorrow than for you to feel one more second of any of that horriblness you had to live through at the end.

Trevor, you are my pride and joy. I have never had another little boy that just seemed to suck the love right from my soul, into yours and back again. Every moment, especially the bad ones, was special and it was my duty to help you through to the better hours or days. I didn't care if you peed and pooped all over the house. You couldn't help it with your incredible brain damage. You didn't want to do that, but you had no choice. At first you were pretty well trained until that record breaking winter of snow stuck you in the house with nowhere to "go" but on the potty pads or the floor. Yes, I grumbled and complained when you'd pee on your 3 comforters and we only had 2 left for you to lie on, but that is the unpleasant part of being human and for that I will apologize for the rest of my days.

I hope you felt loved enough. I felt so helpless when you would just walk in circles around the house, around and around and around with no seeming purpose other than your poor brain telling you to do so. I loved you from the minute I saw your picture on the rescue group's web site and read your made-up story (didn't know it at the time and it would not have made any difference). I told daddy that you were going to become our next puppy (even though you were older already) and he could not change my mind. Even though the rescue group also tried to keep us apart, we were meant to be together, even for such a short time. I loved you more the first time we met and was ecstatic when you came the following week to live with us forever!

Oh, we made some horrible mistakes with you suffering the consequences. We were ignorant and stupid. Please forgive me (us) for that, too. But even afterwards you came up to me with so much love in your heart and eyes. Once we found out your awful diagnoses, I vowed from that moment on, you would be the happiest, most loved dog on earth. And you were. You were the bravest little dog that ever lived. And everyone should know that.

My magnificent little boy, I will love you until the day I die and then look forward to our joyous, unending reunion. You are always in my heart and soul and thoughts. How could you be otherwise? I may not get this saying correct but: "Old dog in a locket; that I wear upon my heart; We will always be together; even though we had to part."

Good Night, my precious angel, the love of my life, the shining star in my days. I love you, Trevor.

XOMommyXO

Oh my dear Bobbie......What a beautiful and loving letter to your precious Trevor!......As I have kept up with your story from day one, I have never seen or heard of a more patient and loving doggie mommy as you. These Angelversaries are very hard.

On a lighter note, I didn't know whether to tell you or not, but Mickey and Trevor have really been partying it up and they always invite all the other pet Angels...........Now as I go wipe my leaky eyes, Bobbie, I want you to know I always have you and Trevor in my thoughts and prayers. Give Dreamer a special pat for me too....May God Bless you and your family always....

Hugs,

LoveMyMickey

Hi, Bobbie, thank you for sharing with us how you're doing and this beautiful heart-filled love letter to your beloved Trevor. I do so understand the very special bond you have with Trevor, as I feel the same way about my number one kitty son Eli who suffered with feline schizophrenia. It nearly tore us apart until the vet FINALLY started him on a regimen of Valium, and by that time he was 1 year old. It took about 2 years for us to get him on a maintenance dosage, which completely turned his life around in a positive way. And then introducing my precious Noah to him - - it was a MIRACLE. I could see my Eli felt "complete" - - and that warmed my heart so much. It breaks my heart to this day that he developed cancer so young - - 6 years of age - - which sent him home to the angels, and broke both Noah's heart and mine.

So, yes, I do understand this very special bond you have with your beloved Trevor. It doesn't mean you love your other beloved furkids, or your precious Dreamer, less. It just means that Trevor has a very, very, very special place in your heart. And please know ALL of your beloved furkids, and Dreamer, understand this.

If I remember correctly you only have about 8 or 9 more days with your did, and then you will be homeward bound. Wherever you are, Bobbie - - be it MN or the moon - - your beloved Trevor and all of your beloved furkids are there with you, too, for their sweet Living Spirit is forever in your heart - - they are always and forever a heartbeat close to you. Their presence with you is no longer bound by the physical laws of time and space.

Thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing, and your beautiful eternal love with your beloved Trevor. I hope today is being kind to you, and that you will have a peaceful evening. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Bobbie, and that I always look forward to knowing how you're doing and sharing your treasured memories of your beloved Trevor and all your boys.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Dear Love My Mickey and Moon_Beam,

thank you for your most heartfelt thoughts on Trevor's 7 month angelversary. Mickey, you are so right about how hard the day can be (and was) and yet reminding me that our buddies are having a great time in Heaven was so very helpful. Moon_beam, you always have the perfect message for me. I owe you so much.

Dear Trevor,

You are loved so much more than even your mommy realized. That almost makes up for some of your suffering and it does help me a great deal. I do hope that you and Mickey, Gretta, Hannah, Gina, Curley, Tucker, Hermy (of course) and all your brothers are having a great time tonight - celebrating the lives you had on earth with us, the lives you now have in Heaven and the waiting your parents are doing until we can all be together again.

Trevor, you are simply the best.

I love you!
XOMommyXO

Dear, dear Trevor,

This is so hard to write tonight. I feel such aching for you in my heart and soul. Today it is unbearable. But I do have your picture and I will be sleeping with it next to my heart again tonight. I love you, honey bun.

Please tell Gretta that I miss her, too. Her mom is having a very difficult time with so many things all at once. Not fair. Gretta, I'll write to you, too. I hope that will help your Mommy.

I love you Trevor and Gretta!

XOMommy & AuntieXO

Thank you SO much Bobbie. I've started to write to Gretta again, both here on this site and in private letters. Only you and I know what Hades is going on. I'm SO grateful for you, for Gretta, for Rufie, for all our friends here at Lightning Strike. Love does overcome and who shares love with us more than our doggies! Someday will see them again and never be parted.

XOXO Big Sis XOXOXOXOXOXOX

Dearest Trevor,

Don't forget to remind Auntie Jeanne that YOU are on her side, too. I' sorry that I don't write you private messages. the whole world can read mine if they want to, but that's OK because I want the whole world to know how much I love you and you love me.

And I do love you more today than yesterday and less than tomorrow. I really need to get to the cemetery to see you and everyone again. I didn't realize how perfectly awful it is on me to be away from your earthly resting place for so long. Grandmom is going to come, too. We may be able to make it a foursome, if the daddies can get off on a weekend day.

Oh, Trevor, what would I do without your constant memory? You give me strength, wisom, patience, love. I'll have to introduce you to one of my former boys. His name is Bozo and he's a mixed breed. I got him when I was a senior in High School and, after one year, my mom asked if he could become HER dog since I was going away fo school, etc. He was her christmas Present that year. He was treated like a KING and lived a good long happy life. Since no one else seemed interested in his pictures from over the years....I TOOK THEM ALL!!! Why not? I'm sure you've met Bozo by now. You can't miss the little guy.

I'm going to try and go to sleep now. At lease lie down with your picture and the duck. Would you mind having "the group" say an extra blessing for Aunti Jeanne? thanks, I can always count on you!

I LOVE YOU, TREVOR!
XPMommyXO

Hi Bobbie

Thanks for sharing your beautiful letter to Trevor. I think I'll start doing that with Gretta, too. Thank you for asking him to be on my side, too. I can feel his love in my heart even with leaky eyes.Trevor-Forever, you did more good in the world than every person who has ever lived. Your are a supremem animal, a White Buffalo. Thank you for protecting my heart, too.

I love you Trevor. I love you Gretta.

Gretta's mom

Dear, Dear Trevor, I love you with all my heart and soul, mind and body. XOMommyXO

Hi Trevor

You are THE most loved dog in the universe. And the most deserving. Your story is an inspiration and hope to every single person in the world. It's better than the Cinderella story.

Tell your mom that you love her - she loves and misses you so much (but you know that, cuz she writes to you every night). I miss you, too, Trevor, even though I only saw you once. You have a place in my heart forever.

Stick closer than close to your mom for the next few days. She needs your warmth and love to get through those days. Gretta .... you too, OK.

Gretta's mom

Dearest Trevor,

Auntie Jeanne says the nicest things about you and I wish you could havve known her for more than the one day. But for you, that was more than enough time to know how much she loved not only you and her own Gretta that had gone to Heave already, but all dogs and cats and creatures of this world.

Trevor, I miss you so much, honey bun. I know I have used the same words over and over again, but I don't know any new ones that even come close to the feelings I have for you. Not to be sacreligious, but right now the only one I can think of that loved his people even though he was tortured and killed is Jesus. I also just thought of all the suffering animals that are either taught to fight each other to death or are used as the bait to teach the animals how to kill. And yet, whenever one hears stories of these dogs we all know how incredibly fightened THEY are, not viscious at all. We must pray for them every night, too.

Trevor, you ARE my inspiration and hope. That we will be together again one day and have nothing but fun and hugs and kisses for each other and all your brothers and relatives, even the ones I don't know.

Mommy isn't feeling well tonight and isn't getting the things she wanted to do, done. So, once again, I'mgoing to follow your example and take a drink of water and go lie down on my bed on the floor and go to sleep. Only, this time I get to dream of YOU!

I LOVE YOU, TREVOR!
XOMommyXO

Dear Lightning-Strike friends, each and every one of you,

Tonight, for some reason is a very hard night for me. The first thing I want to do is apologize to each of you for not writing to YOU or responding with the same words that omforted me so many nights. It's not that I don't feel for all your pain, sorrow, confusion or guilt - I do, very much. And I thank every one of you who, keep up the spirit of sending me messages from time to time.

But, you see, even though I have lost other little C. Spaniel boys and they were each incredibly difficult losses, losing Trevor has been like losing my heart and my soul every minute of every day. I can usually get through the daylight hours because we have another rescue Spaniel named Dreamer, who is a real doll. But it is the nighttime hours that tear at my soul. Trevor had many, many bad, painful nights where he could not get comfortable, he would scratch at the carpet in an attempt to make a soft spot, he would cry out in pain and pace all over the bedroom where we kept him with us at night since his depth perception was bad and we had no gate for the stairs. The minute that Trevor would get up and not lie back down, I was out of bed, getting pain medications and strong antihistamines to help him sleep. He readily took them, but they still took up to 20 minutes to start working. During that time, Trevor and I were together on the floor - Trevor trying to get some pain relief and me talking softly to him, telling him how much I loved him and what a good boy he was. I would try to reassure him that the pain would get better and he would fall asleep. But it rarely happened, so I'd go down and get an entire handfull of his pills this time. nice big sized dog-food meatball for Trevor. He never lost his appetite. Again, he would pace and scratch and pee on the potty pads and I'd clean them up and give him new ones. Sometimes he wanted me to just lie down on the floor to show him that someplace on that carpet it would be comfortable. He didn't want much petting because his hea and neck hurt so badly. But he knew I was always there with him and for him, sometimes for hours before he fell asleep. I didn't mind. He was my baby, who was in pain that was not his fault and he needed at least one human being that would return his unconditional love back to him, whenever and werever he needed it. I vowed that was going to be me. And I tried to keep my vow every day, although some days my human frailties took over and Trevor had to pace the downstairs (main floor) by himself. Oh, those sad memories when I didn't do what I could for him. When Trevor would finally fall asleep, I would like next to him, holding onto one of his paws, so that even in sleep he knew mommy was there. We'd sleep that way the rest of the night and sometimes into the morning. He had such soft paws.

My next to saddest memory was during his last week of life and he was having a very painful day. I gave him lots of meds, so much that he was having some trouble getting to his feet. Then he peed on himself and a rug he was lying on because he couldn't get up. The look in his eyes was the saddest, most fearful look I've ever seen. Immediately I got up and told him he was a very good boy and that everything was fine. It was only the second time in his short life with us that he let me pick him up, bundled in my arms, kissing his head and slowly rocking back and forth to reassure him. Then I put him down on a nice, soft, dry blanket and wiped him dry with a softer towel, so slowly and so gently as to not frighten him again. Then we lay down next to each other, under yet another one of his favorite blankets and fell asleep in the living room. Three days later he was dead.

How can I not miss him? How can I not stop crying and sobbing at night? How can I make things up to him? He was my angel and I'm sure he still is, but he's so silent. I never dream of him, never think that I've seen or heard him, never get any sort of message from him. I have his pictures with me at all times and try to sleep with one next to my heart every night. Oh my sweet, loving, peaceful, gentle, teacher of so many life lessons that I still have trouble practicing. I love you with everything I have ever had, have now and will have in my entire future, be it long or short. Please know that I will remember and love you forever, without fail. You are my one and only special, sweet boy. Trevor Forever.

I could write for many more hours, but I must get some sleep as I have to help my dad again tomorow, as our visit draws to a close. Remind me of your life lessons for a minute so that I can bless my Dad as you blessed me.

I LOVE YOU, TREVOR!
XO Leaky eyes MommyXO

Bobbie, little sister

What a heart wrenching letter. You are the miracle in Trevor's life. Who else but you would have or could have given him the unconditional love he gave to you. You two shared a horrifying past, though yours left you much better off than his ... until he met you. I don't see signs of Gretta either so it's sometimes hard to remember that she is right her beside me, just as Trevor is right there beside you. I don't remember what children's story it was that kept telling you, "Ya gotta believe." And we do. Trevor, as you know, is healthy, he can run and play like he probably never did in his earthly life, he's warm and comfy, and when he looks down on his mommy, he heart overflows with love. He's holding you close during these especially sad and worrisome days - don't forget that for a minute. Just looking at his baby-doll picture makes even my heart feel better.

Please let him send you at least one moment of peace and love today - and know that you are cared for - by Trevor and my the two other Musketeers.

Love always,

Gretta, Rufus and their mom

Hi my darling sweet boy,

Mommy has been thinking about you and loving you all day long. It was a difficult night for me last night, but I am always glad to know that your nights are only pain-free, calm, happy, peaceful and wonderful now that you are in Heaven. I miss you so much that I could break into a million pieces in a flash, if that were humanly posible.

You are the best little boy that I have ever known, and I've known some good little boys as you know. they are all your brothers. I cannot think of much else to say right now, although my every thought and loving feeling is directed to you all the time.

Have a good night with your family and all your friends. You must have hundreds by now. And Please say HI! to Hermy for me.

I LOVE YOU, TREVOR!
XOMommyXO

Dear Trevor,

Mommy isn't feeling very good tonight so will say I LOVE YOU forever and ever, my love!


XOXOXOXOXOXOXO
Mommy

Dearest Trevor,

Mommy is feeling physically better tonight, except I did a lot of ice scraping this afternoon and I feel like I have a pulled muscle in my right side. Always something to complain about, right?

But that's one thing you never did. You handled your pain in your own way: pacing around and around the main floor of our house or scratching at the carpet or blanket until you could lie down in peace or simply walking up to me and looking at me. You are such a gentle soul and I will always remember the look you had in your eyes, like, "Excuse me, mom, but I am really hurting right now. Could you give me some of that special dog food to help me feel better?" (I put his pills in canned dog food "meatballs".) You suffered in silence until you could not stand it any more and then you would cry out for help. I just wish I could have done more to keep that pain at bay. But I am a human with so many faults of my own, that I did what I could. Not all the time, that's for sure and for that I will feel regret and as a failure for the rest of my life.

I so wish we could have had a longer, better time together, but it was what it was supposed to be. I will always love you with every ounce of strength I have in this body and heart of mine. But even then, I cannot match the love you had for me, right from the beginning.

Have a peaceful night, my sweetness. Say Hi! to Hermy!

I LOVE YOU, TREVOR!
XOMommyXO

Hi Trevor Forever

Here's a head pat and ear scratch from your Aunt Jeanne - and sniffs and kisses from Gretta and Rufus.

XOXOXOXOXOXOX

Aunt Jeanne

My Dearest Trevor,

Well, it's another late night and I should be in bed asleep. But I can't until I tell you, once again, how much I love you and miss you. You are my angel and my savior at the same time. You came into my life and gave it purpose again at a time when there wasn't much in my life. I don't mean this against my husband. He is a wonderful man and great doggie daddy. But I needed someone who would love me for me and for no other reason. And there you were!

Thank you, Trevor, for being the bravest little boy that ever lived and being that boy at my house, in my life. You are the best.

I LOVE YOU, TREVOR!
XOMommyXO

Good Morning my sweet boy!

Tomorrow Mommy will be back in Maryland and so waiting to come visit you. I think that's the first things we'll do from the airport!
I love you, honey and will talk more tonight!
XOXOXO
XOMommyXO

Hi, Bobbie, stopping by to say hello and read through your beautiful love-filled letters to your beloved Trevor. I know you are anxiously and eagerly anticipating being home again where you can visit your beloved Trevor's and boys resting places. I hope your travels home will be safe and uneventful.

Thank you again so much for sharing your and your beloved Trevor's beautiful love story with us. Please know you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I always look forward to sharing your heart-filled love letters to your beloed Trevor.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Hey Honey Bun!

Mom will be home tomorrow!!!! I cannot wait to stop by and say hello and see how things are out there. I'm going to sleep soon so the night witll go by faster!

I love you my sweet boy!

XOMommyXO

Dearest Trevor,

I've missed writing to you. I think of you often and picture you and Hermy running, jumping, hopping, and playing together happily.

Your mommy is coming back today! Yippee!

Dear Bobbie,

I hope you had a safe trip and got to visit Trevor and the boys today. I hope you're doing well. Welcome back, my friend!

Hugs,
Lisa

Hey Trevor (yeah, you, the one that's jumping up to the sky with happiness - oh, you're already IN the sky) - Well, anyway - Mom's home!! Gretta and Rufus's mom! XOXOXOXO

Dear Lisa & Jeanne,

Thank you so much for the warm welcome home. You know, it was almost strange coming into the house as it is much smaller than my dad's so I had to re-orient myslf to it. THAT is a sign I'm getting old. It was so good to see Dramer although he didn't seem that excited to see me, probably because I've been gone quite awhile in his time frame. But he sure did like those cheese curds!

Dearest Trevor,

I am so sorry that I didn't make it out to say hello to you in person this afternoon like I promised. I was extremely tired and, once again, left it for another day. Especially knowing that I have to be at the hospital by 10:00 am tomorrow for Mark's surgery, I let you down. I am so sorry and have very leaky eyes right now. I am so glad that I am home and can see all your pictures now and relight your daily candle. Have a peacefilled night with Hermy and Gretta and Abbeygale (sp).

I love you with all my heart and soul, you beautiful, wonderful, lovely little boy!

XOMommyXO

My Dearest Sweet Boy,

I apologize for not writing to you yesterday. I was very tired from the past 7 weeks, the trip home, and sitting in a hospital waiting room for 9 hours while Cousin Mark had surgery.

Today was a tiny bit better, but I was still on the floor most of the day, in my jammies. But do you know who's picture I was looking at all day (when I was awake)? YOU!

I love you so much honey, but again I have to go to sleep. Tomorrow should be the last day I need to sleep all day long and my brain mmight even start to function.

I LOVE YOU, TREVOR! and Hermy and Gretta!
XOMommyXO

Hi Bob

So many thanks for including Gretta in your sweet and loving letters to Trevor-Forever. Get the rest you need - you SO deserve it.

Love always,

Gretta, Rufus and their mom

Hi Honey Bun!

It was another day of Mommy lying on the floor, sleeping off 7 weeks away from home, and all the incredibly bad news in between. But then I would look at your picture and, somehow, your love would make things better again. Thank you, my love.

Trevor, we are getting another rescue C. Spaniel on Saturday. He is about 6 years old and is named Pepper. I remember the day you came into our lives and we became a family. What a wonderful day that was. You didn't seem in pain and we gave you enough hot dog and cheese pieces to keep you happy for a long time.

I hope you are happy now. I know you are, but us humans have to have that little hint of wonder in their minds. I love you so much, my little wonder boy. You brought me so much love and happiness every day of your life. For that I will always be grateful. I am going to sleep now, hoping to dream of you and if no dreams come, then I always have my precious memories.

Have a peace-filled night with Gretta and Hermy and everyone else you know and love in Heaven. I love them, too.

I LOVE YOU, TREVOR!
XOMommyXO

My Darling Trevor,

Tonight is a sad night because tomorrow is another Friday. I must get to visit you tomorrow. Please don't let me forget.

Trevor, you were my doggie knight in shining armor and I still love you every minute of every day. I wish you could be here in some way so that you could have fun with Dreamer (he's still such a kid) and Pepper when he comes here. And, again, let me remind you that, even with changes in our physical, earthly lives, I will love you forever and beyond. You will never be forgotten nor your existence taken for granted. The good things you did for me will last my entire lifetime and then we will be together to celebrate our love with everyone else.

It is still too sifficult to read many others' stories of loss and respond. I feel badly for that because they all need the love and support I got when you first went to Heaven. And still get. Please welcome each of their beloved companions, especially Fat Nick, as I know you and Hermy and Gretta will, in such a loving, gentle, understanding way. That's how you were with me every day, even when you couldn't understand what was going on with your own body. No one could ask for a better companion than you, my sweet boy. I wish I culd say those words over and over again: my sweet boy, such a sweet boy, my dear, sweet boy, my Trevor. Here come the leaky eyes again and now my nose is starting it's journey (running you know). In a way, I'm glad that I can still cry for you because that means our love for each other is as fresh as the first day we met. I don't want you to have to cry ever again and I know you won't up in Heaven. I'll do that for us while I'm still on earth. I just wish you were here to kiss them away.

You are the best, Trevor and I wish you a warm, happy evening and day tomorrow. I miss you and I adore you.

XOMommyXO

Hello my little Love Bug,

I miss you so, so much, especially today. Mommy has had so many leaky eyes lately that I'm hoping some good comes from it: losing a couple pounds.

I don't know how I get along every day without you. It's got to be that YOU are sending down love-strength to me. Otherwise Iwould just be a curled up ball of leaky eyes and nose. I miss your softness. Your gentleness is second to none. Your love overwhelming.

I love you my sweet little boy.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

XOMommyXO

Hi Trevor,

I haven't asked daddy to count how many weeks it has been since you left for Heaven. It's way too many for me and yet the more there are the closer comes our time to be together again.

The day finally got a bit better, thanks to you. I think you and Tang are neck and neck in the number of people who have moved on in their grief journey (an don't necessarily think I have, but I have) or are tired of their own grief. That's kind of me right now. I have only enough strength to concentrate on YOU and all my friends (human) that are suffering/dying from cancer (too many).

But honey, you and me and Auntie Jeanne, Moon_Beam and Lisa will always be together, if not on this page in our hearts and souls.

Have a good, good night my sweet boy. Mommy loves you more than ever!

Hi Hermy and Gretta and everyone else!

I LOVE YOU, TREVOR!
XOMommyXO

Hi Bobbie

Sending my love to heaven for your Trevor along with the love I send for my Chewy. I hope you are feeling ok today.

xxForeverxx

Hi Trevor Forever

Send down some special rays of happiness today for you mom. And be sure to be at the spot so you can get the first look at your new brother - OH - you're in the Perfect World. Well, grab a few friends and bounce right over there now. He's a black C spaniel named Pepper . (Dumb Aunt Jeannie, Just got it "black pepper".

Thank you for being alive - in this earth and now in the Perfect World. You had brought so much joy and love to the special people who needed it most.

XOXO
Aunt Jeanne

My dear, dear, sweet boy,

Oh, how I wish I could be with you in Heaven right now. I mean it, right now. I cannot even imagine how hard it was for you in this world and I don't want you to have to come back down here. So I'd rather be up in Heaven with you. This world is just getting way too hard and I'm really startinig not to like it down here wihout you. Dreamer and Pepper really mean to be good boys, and Pepper really is. But Dreamer is causing all sorts of stress for me and Pepper and I'm getting no help.

So, if you have any influence with the Head Dog, would you put in a few good words for me, Dreamer and Pepper?

Thank you, honey! Did y'all like the green balloons I put on your graves? I'm sure the wind has blown them all away by now, but they were pretty while the were there!

Trevor, I miss you so much I still don't know what to do. But, please don't worry about me. Mommy will get through, just like you did. She will find the helper she needs, which is probably Pepper, sent by none other than YOU!

I LOVE YOU, TREVOR!
XOMommyXO

Trevor's mom

I'm sorry I can't be more of the helper you need. Let's hope it's Pepper. I think it is. Here's a little prayer for all of you today.

Gretta's mom