My Dearest, Darling Trevor,

We're coming up on another bump in the road tomorrow. I just cannot believe that you have been physically gone for 19 weeks! But you are not alone in that. I just found out that Hermy passed away on a Friday in the early morning, so I will be lighting two candles tomorrow. And I will be with you at the cemetery, too.

Oh, Trevor, what you have done for me. So many wonderful things when we were together here on earth and even more since you've been in Heaven. How do you do it? Down here, you took all that pain until you couldn't stand it any more and then, finally, you'd cry out and try to scratch away the awful feelings you were having in your neck and back. That is the major reason that I decided to give you round-the-clock pain medication on a regular basis. Yes, it started out every 6 hours, then 4 hours and finally every 3 hours when I started to increase the dosages. All I wanted was for you to be without pain. You were going to die at some point and I wanted your life to be the best it could possibly be. Did I do a good job? I hope so.

Trevor, there are a few newbies in Heaven and thy need yours and Gretta's and Hermy's special attention. They are Scotty, Elly May and the little dog that was poinsoned. They should all have arrived in the past few days. Please find them and snuggle with them and show them "the ropes". Their mommy's and daddy's are really sad and traumatized, so if they could know that you guys have full watch over them, along with all your other buddies up there. Don't forget about the non-remembered animals. Find some of them to join your group and remind them that we will not forget them.

I just love you soooooo much, Trevor. And I know that is never going to change. You were sent from God and Rudy and gave me the love and acceptance I really needed. Thank you, my love. You are the best!
Have a peaceful night with everyone, OK?

I LOVE YOU, Trevor!!!!!
XOXOMommyXOXO

Dear Bobbie and Trevor,

I've been thinking of you today and wishing you a peaceful day filled with good (and probably bittersweet) memories. 19 weeks! I really admire you and your inner strength. You provided such wonderful care to Trevor, and I'm sure he knows.

I got up early this morning (around 5 a.m. thanks to the alarm clock) because I wanted to light two candles (one for Trevor and one for Hermy) and say a prayer for them both. It was so calm and quiet this morning as I reflected on some good memories and some tough memories (of Hermy's last moments). I don't think we will ever forget, will we? As painful as some memories are, I cherish each and every one I have of her. Each memory that pops up is like a gift, whether it makes me smile or brings me to tears.

Wishing you and Trevor a tranquil 19-week anniversary.

Bunny Hugs,
Lisa

Dear, dear, wonderful Trevor,

Well, honey bun, today was another anniversary for us. We've been physically apart for 19 weeks now - 3190 hours apart. Somehow 3100 hours sounds much more like it feels than 19 weeks. I miss you completely, my little one, my best friend, my savior. Oh, how I tried to burn every image of you into my sorry brain so that I would always remember how peacefully you slept (which was about the only time you had any peace the last 6 months), how hard you chewed on those marrow bones that I always had to hold for you, how interesting each blade of grass was to you and at the same time I was desperately trying to send all my love into your heart (kind of like a laser beam) so that you would always feel safe and secure and KNOW how deeply you were (and are) loved.

Trevor, I will always remember you and us. And I thank you from the depths of my soul and the bottom of my heart for coming into my life and blessing it the way you have. I have learned so much from you and, believe it or not, I find it quite difficult to practice your Life's Lessons regularly. That's where you exceed everything I can and did do for and with you and now, without you.

Remember it's Hermy's 2 week anniversary and her mom is doing the very best she can. Did you see our 2 candle sets burning brightly for both of you today? I have a feeling that you and Hermy make quite a team in Heaven. Please continue to do the things that make me so proud of you and humbled by you: welcome the newcomers, help everyone and search out the non-remembered creatures so that we may remember them as well.

Have a very peace-filled night, my sweetness! You are the best!!!!!

I LOVE YOU, TREVOR!!!!!
XOXOMommyXOXO

Hi, Bobbie, it's always a blessing logging in to get caught up on your and your beloved Trevor's love journey. Thank you so very much for sharing with us how you're doing.

It never ceases to amaze me how time marches forward with little regard to the life circumstances we may be experiencing. No matter how we count the seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, years - - the reality is always there of the physical separation from our beloved companions. The good news is that we are blessed with our beloved's sweet Living Spirit continuing to share our earthly journey just as they always have and always will. Thank you, Bobbie, for honoring us in sharing your and your beloved Trevor's eternal love.

I hope today is being kind to you and your precious Dreamer. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Bobbie, and always look forward to sharing with you how you're doing and your and your beloved Trevor's love journey.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Oh, my sweetheart!

You are one of the best gifts I have received from God Himself. Today was a very busy shopping day before the Chirstmas holiday. One of the CDs we played today had a couple songs that I remember from last Christmas. Last Christmas you were alive, but not doing well and I knew the time was getting short for you and me. When I heard these two songs, one of which I cannot remember the title and the other is "Away in a Manger", I cried and crid because I was so sad because I knew that you were in pain and having not the best quality of life, that I had to be away from you to do the shoping and because I knew it would be your last Christmas. We made a special stocking with your name on it and put all sorts of edible goodies in it because we knew that toys would not be recognized. We made a big deal out of Christmas and I could hardly wait to get home from Midnight Mass. I laid with you that night and cried my eyes out again because I knew what your future held. That is one gift that God has given to you and all your animal buddies: not knowing that death is a certainty in your future.

This year, things are incredily different and at the same time, very similar. Dreamer is healthy and will have fun with his toys in his stocking, but Mommy will be sad and lonely without you here. I won't be able to visit you in person for most of the holiday season, not until Christmas Eve day and Christmas Day. I miss you so very, very much already and I have but one present for you (and I'm going to tell you early): I hope that on Jesus' birthday, YOU will be one of the happiest doggies to hear about His first birthday and that you will be able to play with Him on His special day. If any dog deserves such a blessing, it is you, Trevor. I can picture the scene now, especially with your capacity to show people that you love them. Besides what does "DOG" spelled backwards say?

Tonight I am sad and that makes it very difficult for me to be away from you. You loved me unconditonally and that is something no human can do. I needed that love and you knew it and I will remember that until the day we are together again and are free to LOVE, LOVE, LOVE again. I look at your special picture and see the depth of love and trust in those eyes and I feel that I must have done something right by you to be able to capture those feelings eminating from your beautiful, soft eyes. Trevor, you are the best thing that ever came into my life. I am indebted to you. I will make sure that your legacy lives on in such wonderful ways and that everyone knows what a brave little dog you were. You don't have to be brave anymore because you are in the Perfect World! I just can't stop saying how much I love you, Trevor. The words course through my heart and soul with such ease and passion. Oh, how I miss you and hope I was worthy of your perfect love.

My dearest honey bun, thank you for being a part of me now and forever.

I LOVE YOU, TREVOR!!!!!
XOXOMommyXOXO

Dearest little Trevor,

As I read the recent posts on this site, I am reminded of how awful it was to lose you to Death. It still is, but for some reason, my pain, while still so deep and ongoing, is not quite as sharp; my eyes still leak so often, but the sobs come just a bit softer now; my thoughts of you focus more on YOU and me and less on that sad, sad last day. Time must be working it's healing power on me. Of course, you already know that, don't you?
I so wish that the newest members of this group could really know that Time will do the same for them. But, I didn't believe it 19 weeks ago either.

I miss you, my love. I miss you with all my heart and soul. My heart still hangs in shreds and my soul remains crushed to the core, but YOU have given me the strength to endure the pain so that I could arrive at this point in my (our) journey. I realize now that you take in every one of my thoughts and send me back your love in amounts that heal and protect me. Once I was the protector and now you are. Thank you, Trevor forever.

I am tired tonight and many things are going on that make me kind of sad. But YOU will never make me sad. When you are in my thoughts and my heart, you make me so happy and begin to feel at peace. You truly are a little miracle worker!

Have a good night with Gretta and Hermy and Gina and all your friends (and family). Be sure to find some more non-remembered animals so that we can make them feel loved (again) and never forgotten.

I LOVE YOU, TREVOR!!!!!
XOXOMommyXOXO

Dear Trevor,

I wanted to write you a little note this evening to say that I've been thinking of you today and to thank you for being a wonderful friend to my Hermy. I am going to light a candle for you and one for Hermy tonight.

Your mommy misses you so very, very much, as I miss my little Hermy. We love you and thank you for being in our lives!

I wish you and Gretta and Hermy a peaceful night.

With love and hugs,
Hermy's Mommy

Dearest Trevor,

See? You have ANOTHER friend and potential auntie - Hermy's mommy. That was incredibly sweet of her to light a candle for you tonight, too. She misses her Hermy as much as I miss you. How are you and all of your friends and relatives doing today? It was a beautiful day here, so Dreamer and I went on a school yard walk and found a baseball!!! Kelly used to LOVE baseballs and softballs. He'd chase after them, in the yard, catch them and then, once he was tired, he'd lie down and start tearing the leather off the ball! I don't know how many we went through in his lifetime.

Tomorrow is Crocker's anniversary of being in Heaven. He passed away on December 6, 1986. He was the first of all you boys out here in Maryland to pass over the Rainbow Bridge into Heaven. He was just 7 years old and was put to sleep because of severe heart failure. When you see him tonight would you please remind him about tomorrow? I have his candle all ready.

Today I was very, very busy doing things around the house, getting everything ready for Christmas here. Even though it may seem like I wasn't thinking about you, I sure do. Everytime I see your picture, I look deep into your eyes and I know for sure that you felt loved and you still are loved completely. Tomorrow I'm going to a newly formed Pet Berevement Support Group having it's first meeting. I joked with daddy that there will be 2 people there: the director of the program and me! I will let you know how it goes. And you KNOW that I will be talking about you and the gang.

Oh, Trevor, this will be our first Christmas physically apart and that will be very difficult. But, I know you are not in pain anymore and that is what is important. Have a feace-filled night with Gretta and Hermy and Gina and the little dog that was poisoned, all your friends & family, and those non-remembered that you have met today.

I LOVE YOU, TREVOR!!!!!
XOXOMommyXOXO

Dear Bobbie,

How was your day? I hope you are doing well and hanging in there. You are so right! The holiday season IS difficult when we cannot be with our loved ones physically, but spiritually we will always be together!

I hope you had a peaceful day filled with wonderful memories of Crocker and Trevor and all your beautiful boys.

I especially want to thank you for sharing your love notes to Trevor with all of us. They make me both laugh and cry. They help me feel that there is hope and love and happiness beyond our present place and time. After writing my letter to Hermy each night through very leaky eyes, I read your letters to Trevor. I hope you don't mind. They have given me such comfort and support. I can't thank you enough.

Wishing you lots of rest and peace this evening,
Hermy's Mommy (Lisa)

Dearest, darling Trevor,

I'm listening to Sarah McLaughlin's song "In the Arms of an Angel" on the ASPCA ad and it is tearing me apart. I wish I could take every one of the dogs into my home and my heart. If only I had enough money! I would love and care for each one of them like I did for you and you did for me.

I was going to go to the cemetery today, but it was too rainy, so I'm going tomorrow. I hope your Christmas stocking is holding up OK. I think I will attach everyone's stockings to the ground again, even though they get completely dirty within days. I just don't want any of them to blow away, especially when I will be gone for so long. I cannot wait to be with you tomorrow. And please don't mind Dreamer, he just goes nuts out there.

Do you miss me, love bug? I sure miss you like crazy. The Humane Society, where you are resting your physical body, had their first support group meeting tonight. I brought your 8x10 picture and they loved it! (why not?) There was just one other pet person there. She'd lost her dog, Tucker, this June, so would you take a look for him tonight? She's all alone now and it's very hard on her. I wanted to tell her about this site, but if Ido that there won't be any more support group at this point! Keeping my mouth shut for awhile. I've got to give it a chance. I told the group leader and Andrew (who has heard this all before) and the other pet-person all about you. Well, as much as they would let me. I could talk about you for hours and hours.

I love you so very, very much, hunky bunky. I hope you are having a good evening with Gretta, Hermy, Gina, the little dog that was poisoned, Tucker and all your other friends and family and non-remembered animals. I'm thinking of every single one of you!

I LOVE YOU, TREVOR!!!!!
XOXOMommyXOXO

Dear Bobbie,

I hope you had a good day today. Between wrapping presents and packing for your trip, you're probably exhausted. Maybe a good night's sleep tonight? I hope so.

I will definitely start writing Trevor a nightly note, starting Saturday, right? I've found that I'm not a very good writer, especially when it comes to translating my feelings into words. But I try my darnedest.

It's been raining here all day too. Very gloomy actually. I'm in Virginia and today has been a day of endless rain showers. I wonder if it rains where Trevor and Hermy are now. I'd like to think that if it does, it rains with the sun still out, creating beautiful rainbows for them to see!

I hope you had the opportunity to visit the cemetery today. If not, at least sometime before you leave town. I'm sure they'll love the stockings.

I wish you a good night and lots of happy thoughts of Trevor and the boys!

Hermy's Mommy (Lisa)

P.S. Hi Trevor! If it's okay with you, I'd like to be another one of your aunties. I'll be writing you little notes. Thanks again for being such a wonderful friend to Hermy.

Dearest Trevor,

You got ANOTHER auntie!!!!! Hermy's mom wants to be your Auntie Lisa and that's just fine by me. She is a very special person and so is Hermy! If I could remember all three names of Hermy's brothers/sisters I would share them with you. I'm sorry, but I forgot one name. Let's see, there is Albus and Ron and ???. I feel so embarrassed.

Did you see Dreamer and I today at the cemetery? Your stocking was in really good shape, especially with all the rain we've had the past two days. I did put all the stockings on the ground again, even though it's all muddy, because I didn't want any of them to fly away or the branches to break while I'm not able to keep an eye on them. I have a feeling that Andrew keeps an eye out for you guys, too. There are a lot of downed branches again at the cemetery, so hopefully, right after Christmas I can get out there and help pick them up. WE went looking for Tucker's resting place, but didn't find it. We'll keep looking.

Mr. Trevor, you are such a wonderful little boy. You brought smiles and love to all the faces of people that got to meet you, once you were with us! And your picture continues to do so to this day. Thinking about you tonight is making me feel quite proud of you and I have a smile on my face, through the leaky eyes. You're doing that, aren't you? Please have a dream-filled evening with Gretta, Hermy, Gina, Tucker and the little dog that was poisoned, along with all your family and friends, including more of the non-remembered for us.

I LOVE YOU, TREVOR!!!!! and always will
XOXOMommyXOXO

Hi, Bobbie, getting caught up on your news and reading your beautiful love letters to your beloved Trevor - - which always bring tears of joy to my eyes to be blessed with the opportunity to share your and your beloved Trevor's eternal love journey.

I'm hoping and praying that all is going well with your dad, and that life is treating you and your sister Gretta's Mom kindly, too. Please know you and your precious Dreamer are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I always look forward to sharing your and your beloved Trevor's love letters and your treasured memories of all of your beloved companions.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Dear Bobbie,

Tomorrow is the 20-week anniversary for Trevor, isn't it? It will be 3 weeks for me. Feels like an eternity. Our love for our wonderful pets will always live on!

I will be lighting candles for Trevor and Hermy and all the much missed companions tomorrow morning. I hope you don't mind my asking, but do you have a picture of Trevor on this website? I'll go back through your other threads and look for one.

Thank you for your comforting message on Hermy's thread. It really helped me get through the day today.

Hopefully you're all packed and ready for your trip and able to get a good night's sleep before traveling. Don't worry. I'll write to Trevor every night while you're away. I'm sure Hermy has already told Trevor that her mommy is nothing if not persistent.

Wishing you a peaceful night and safe travels ahead! I'll be in touch.

Bunny Hugs,
Hermy's Mommy Lisa

Hello my sweet boy.

That's what Auntie Cindy always called you and I got in the habit, too. And you were so, so sweet, even in the first few months when we had no idea what was truly troubling you and we did absolutely everything wrong!! Still, you kept your sweet disposition and never held a grudge against anyone.

Oh, Trevor, I only wish that everyone could know what a truly loving little guy you were in life! You deserve a doggie Nobel Peace Prize! I will never forget how you loved to go walking and esploring every little item in your path. Oh, but you were so scared of that big pinecone on the sidewalk the first time you came across it. Mommy had to throw it far away before you would even take another step forward. But, the next time we walked that same route and there were new, big pinecones on the sidewalk, you weren't scared any more because you knew mommy would take care of things. I always did.

Trevor, I miss you with my entire being......as much today as almost 20 weeks ago. Tomorrow we have yet another bump in the road. They seem to be coming faster now. Hermy's mommy is going to light a candle for you, too. That is so very nice of her. Tomorrow will be the last, regular love note from me for awhile. I have to go to Minnesota because my dad is having surgery. I'll be there for 2 weeks and will try to get on Auntie Jeanne's computer whenever I can. But Hermy's mom is going to write to you every night. You can take a lot of comfort in that. I know that she already loves you, too.

Have a good night, honey bun, with Gretta and Hermy and Gina and Tucker and the little dog that was poinsoned and your brothers, cousins and all your friends, especially the non-remembered whom you are snuggling with tonight. We won't forget them!

I LOVE YOU, TREVOR!!!!!
XOXOMommyXOXO

Dear Bobbie,

I hope you had a good day today. I think I've found the first thread you posted about Trevor. I started reading it last night and immediately felt the special bond between you and Trevor. So much love! Trevor's an amazingly brave and courageous dog. Thank you for sharing his story. I'll continue reading this weekend through tears and smiles.

Thank you for sharing the pinecone story. It's truly heartwarming! I can really picture Trevor's first encounter with the pinecone. Trevor, I understand completely. I think pinecones are strange-looking too. With your loving mommy by your side, nothing is impossible to overcome.

This morning I lit a candle for Trevor, right next to Hermy's candle. Tomorrow night I'll start writing Trevor while you're away. Oh, and yes, I do love Trevor too! Don't worry. I will be sending him lots of hugs and kisses.

You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. I look forward to hearing how you and your family are doing when you return home.

Hugs,
Hermy's Mommy Lisa

Dear, dear Trevor,

Another bump in our journey together. 20 weeks ago today you left this world for a far better one. I wish I could go with you, but I will stay behind and keep your memory alive for as long as I possibly can. You still are the bravest little dog that ever lived! Thank you for the many hours we spent together, just you and me, buddies to the end.

I loved you then, I love you now and I will love you forever! That still will not equal the love you had for and gave me.

I am going to Minnesota in the morning. I am staying with Auntie Jeanne and Rufus. Auntie Lisa is going to check in with you when she can. She wants to do this because she loves you, too, and to help me when I cannot find a computer. You know I don't like cell or smart phones, so I don't have one to send you love notes myself. But I know that Auntie Lisa has fallen in love with you, as I have with her Hermy, and she will take good care of you!

I love you, honey bun! Have a peace-filled night with Gretta, Hermy, Gina, Tucker and the little dog that was poisoned. Don't forget your brothers and cousin, your new friends in Heaven and, especially the non-remembered so we can make them happy, too. Good Night! Sweet Dreams!

I LOVE YOU, TREVOR!!!!!
XOXOMommyXOXO

Dear Trevor,

You are an amazing and courageous dog! All of us love you so very much! Your mommy is traveling today to Minnesota. Sounds like she had an extremely busy day yesterday getting ready, but I know she thinks about you every minute of the day (and night). Hopefully, she got to take a nap on the plane.

I wanted to tell you, Trevor, that I found your mommy's first thread about you. The bond between you and your mommy is the strongest, most special love bond ever. Each of our bonds with our beloved companion is so individual and unique, and the love bond transcends space and time. The love is always there and will always be there, right Trevor?

Trevor, I wish I knew you and your mommy back in April of this year. Both of you have such strength and compassion. As I follow you and your mommy's journey through her first thread, I am learning so much about you. I didn't realize that your vision was impaired. So was Hermy's! She developed a cataract in her left eye at the age of one year. I'm sure the two of you now have perfectly restored vision and brilliantly sparkling, happy eyes.

I'm also learning about some of the treats you like: yogurt treats and Cheerios. Trevor, you're a wonderful dog! Such healthy snacks. Hopefully, Hermy hasn't persuaded you to eat her less than healthy snacks, like Cheetos, donuts, and blueberry muffins. Perhaps you two are sharing one of her healthier snacks: apples!

I can definitely tell that your mommy showered and still showers you with so much love, Trevor. I can also tell that you shower your mommy with love, following her from room to room and always wanting to be near her. I'm sure you are still watching and following her and always with her. You're just too polite and subtle about it, so your mommy probably thinks she doesn't get any messages from you, when in fact you're always with her.

As you know by now, Trevor, Hermy can be very playful or, as my family calls her, "bossy." She was the little matriarch of my bunny family. Plus, she knows that her mommy won't notice things unless they are right in front of her. Hence, the obvious bunny messages.

Thanks, Trevor, for being such a wonderful and dear friend to Hermy and all the beloved companions. I know your mommy is thinking of you tonight and all the time while she's away. She loves you dearly. Hermy and I love you too.

Have a peaceful, restful night with all your friends in Heaven. I will write you again tomorrow night. Until then, have a warm and comfy night!

Hugs and Kisses,
Hermy's Mommy Lisa

Dear Trevor,

I've heard from your mommy. She is now in Minnesota with her father and Gretta's mom. Isn't that wonderful?

Your mommy is such a kind, compassionate, caring, and loving person! But you already know that. You and your mommy are perfect for each other! The love between the two of you is powerful and enduring. From your mommy's stories about you, I've learned that you two have this amazingly deep understanding of each other.

I was happy (and pleasantly surprised) to read that you like carrots and green beans. I didn't know that dogs eat vegetables too. Silly me. Hermy will be happy to know this bit of information, since carrots are one of her favorite veggies. She'll be sharing her carrots with you, if she hasn't already.

Oh, and you like ice cream too? What's your favorite flavor? I'll have to remember to ask your mommy. Hermy LOVES ice cream, especially strawberry and dulce de leche. I hope you two are enjoying ice cream any time you want.

Trevor, did you know that your mommy shared your wonderful Cheerios story? I think it's great! One of the many ways you share your love and dedication to each other. It's true love.

Tomorrow is Monday, and I'll be lighting candles for you and Hermy tomorrow night. I will also write you another note before the Monday Candle Ceremony. I hope you know that Hermy and I love you very much, and I'm forever grateful for your friendship with my little bun.

I know your mommy is sending you her love and many, many kisses. Have a wonderful night, Trevor.

Love,
Hermy's Mommy Lisa

Dear Trevor,

It's Monday again. That means it's time for me to light your candle and Hermy's candle tonight! It's also when I sit and reflect and pray for everyone who has lost a beloved pet, for those beloved pets who have crossed over, and for those who are still suffering. I pray for the strength to go on and for peace of mind.

I know you and Hermy are no longer suffering where you are now, and I am grateful for that. From reading your mommy's first thread, I am learning that both you and your mommy suffered so much together, both physically and emotionally. I am so sorry that you were in such pain. You are the bravest little dog!!! Now, there is no more pain, no more sadness, right? You're able to run and play and watch over your mommy!

Thank you for being Hermy's friend. Her hus-bun Harry and her brother Albus miss her so much, but it's comforting to know that she has friends where she is now. Thank you, Trevor.

I hope your mommy had a good day today. I know she sends you her love all the time. We love you too, Trevor. I hope you can see the light from all the candles tonight. Bless you, Trevor! Have a wonderful night!

Hugs,
Hermy's Mommy Lisa and Harry, Albus, and Ron (aka Hermy's Fan Club)

Dear Trevor,

I've been thinking about you today. I finally finished reading your mommy's first thread and will soon start reading the next one. You and your mommy share something very special and unique. It is evident that you and your mommy care for each other so much that neither one of you wants the other to suffer any pain, physical or emotional. It's beautiful and truly special.

I think Hermy tried to hang on as long as she could because she knew, deep inside her heart, that her mommy would be devastated when she passed on. She's right. I am devastated. But I know now, thanks to everyone here, that you and Trevor and Gretta and Daisy and all the beloved animals who've left us are comfortable and happy and pain-free. I trust too that all of you are waiting for us to join you one day, to be reunited.

You and your mommy (and her father) are in my thoughts and prayers. I hope your mommy has been able to get some rest and spend quality time with family. I know she is always thinking of you (even as I write this note), and I know she sends you her love.

Trevor, we love you and wish you a good night with pleasant dreams!

Hugs and Kisses,
Hermy's Mommy Lisa and Harry, Albus, and Ron

Dear Trevor,

It's getting very cold here this week. I'm glad that it's warm and comfy and sunny where you and Hermy (and all the beloved animals) are now. The holidays are just around the corner, and it's a difficult time for us here because we miss you so much and wish that we could be together again.

Thank you again for being Hermy's friend and sharing lovely stories about your mommy with her. I'm sure she is happy that she is surrounded by so many well-loved and well-cared-for animals. She has always been very curious and inquisitive, so she's probably asking you a million and one questions. Thanks for being so patient with her.

Trevor, I'm learning all the wonderful (and very cute) names your mommy calls you. Mr. Trevor Forever and hunky bunky are my favorites. Hermy has probably told you that I call her "my little Hermy Mermy" and "Herm." Silly, I know, but we just can't help ourselves. You all are so lovable!

Well, Mr. Trevor Forever, I feel comfortable saying that I know your mommy loves you and misses you more than words can say. I know because I feel the same way about Hermy. As the holidays approach, please know that we love you and miss you and are always thinking of you.

Your mommy sends all her love! We love you too, Trevor. Good night and sweet dreams!

Hugs and Kisses,
Hermy's Mommy Lisa and Harry, Albus, and Ron

Dear Trevor,

Tomorrow is another "bump" in our journey. I'm borrowing your mommy's word. It marks 21 weeks for you and your mommy and 4 weeks for Hermy and me. Seems like an eternity actually.

We miss you and love you very much. We miss being able to touch your furry faces and kiss your furry noses. I will be lighting a candle for you, Trevor, and one for Hermy early tomorrow morning. It comforts me to know that my Hermy is not alone but with all of you (Trevor, Gretta, Abbygayle, Daisy, Trevor's brothers). Thank you for keeping Hermy company, Trevor. I am forever grateful.

Please know that we love you, miss you, and are always thinking of you. Your mommy sends all her love! All of us here do too! Don't worry. She'll be back soon, sending you notes filled with so much love and affection. Have a wonderful night with all your friends!

Hugs and Kisses,
Hermy's Mommy Lisa and Harry, Albus, and Ron

My Dearest Trevor,

I found some way to catch some time on this computer and wanted to first, thank Lisa for sending you such loving messages every night. I can learn a few thngs from her devotion to Hermy and yu, too!

Darling, today marks 21 weeks since our physical separation. I miss you even more today than ever and the sadness that permeates my heart and soul is indescribible. Through everything that challenged you anad hurt you, you loved others with a very real passion. And I still love you with my own passion. You are gentle, kind, patient, and funny. You gave everything you had unconditionally and I sure took it, didn't I?

Trevor, I will continue to love you more and more with each passing minute. You are my hero and my love bug. I just wish that, for one tiny second, I could see you again. Perhaps in a dream or a passing glance or just something. I need some reassurance from my number one hero. I don't know why, perhaps because this is a vulnerable time for me, but if you could explain things to your buddies and slip away from them for just a second to bring your Spirit down here (I'm in Minneapolis right now) so I could see something of your physical (past), I would be so eternally grateful. I need to hug you right now and I need my doggie to tell me he understands.

Oh, Trevor, I love you beyond words, beyond feelings, right to the core of all that matters. It should not be about me, but you. And I promise to do that from this very moment on. I'm sorry for all the typos in this post. My heart is racing much faster than my fingers can find the correct keys. good thing dogs don't spell very well, either!

I LOVE YOU, TREVOR!!!!!!!!!
XOXOMommyXOXO

Hi my little Trevor,

All I can think about today is you (and Hermy). It is cold, windy and so very overcast today in Minnesota and I feel so terribly far away from you. Like fool, I did not take your picture with me because I did not know how crazy things would be around here. It's crazy, but at least I still have your locket which never leaves me.

Oh, Trevor, how am I continuing to live without you right next to me. It's a times like this that I feel helpless and just as awful as when we first parted. I could just sit and cry, but I cannot because my dad is sitting on the cough and needs lots of encouragement, too. His surgery went well and I just wish we could get up to Fergus Falls tomorrow. But I don't have any say over that and daddy doesn't want to upset my sisters, so he just keeps quiet. Rufus is here, but the poor guys just lies on his bed all day long. that's no fun. His mommy gets home and night and is very tired. She takes him on 4-5 walks per day, mostly for bathroom breaks, but I don't see the kind of attention that I pay to him. That is probably not very fair of me at all, but I've sat and just stroked him and talked to him for a long time and both he and my sister fell asleep! I really cannot judge because Rufus is very glad to see his mommy when she comes home.

Trever, Trevor, Trevor, I miss you with everything I have and then some. My heart is still very shredded and my sould remains crushed, especially when our physical distance is greater than usual. Thank you for every single bit of your love. I hope I loved you enough. What I wouldn't do to be with you again! 21 weeks seems like 2100 years and yet our time together was way too short. I love you, Trevor, now and forever.

YOU ARE THE BEST!!!!!!!
XOXOMommyXOXO

Dear Bobbie,

I'm so happy to see a love note from you to Trevor today. Two notes, in fact. I know that Trevor must be absolutely ECSTATIC to see your love notes! I'm also relieved to hear that your father's surgery went well and that he's back at home with all of you.

On a more serious note, I'm so sorry that you're having a difficult time right now, especially being far from Trevor's physical being. But his Spirit is there with you always. I truly believe that. I find that when I'm saddest, I tell myself, "Just believe. Believe that Hermy is still with you. She'll always be with you." It helps a little bit.

You and Trevor are soulmates, Bobbie. You two shared and still share this amazing and special love bond. Because you and Trevor are soulmates, I believe his soul is still right there with you, watching you and sending you all his love.

I feel like we are in some kind of time warp. 21 weeks for you (and 4 weeks for me) seem like an eternity without our loved ones, and yet the pain for me (and I imagine for you too) is still so raw, so fresh, so intense. As intense and painful as the day they left us.

Bobbie, you and Trevor are in my thoughts and prayers. I hope you are able to get some rest and are taking care of yourself. Please know that you're not alone in this, and that if there is anything I can do to help, please let me know.

Many Hugs,
Hermy's Mommy Lisa

Dear Trevor,

Did you see your mommy's love notes today? Two! Yippee! I know you must be so happy. There's nothing like a love note from mommy.

I'll write more tomorrow night, but I just wanted to say that your mommy misses you so much and she really would like to see a sign that you're there with her. Hermy's probably telling you the same thing, plus suggesting that you make the sign very obvious. Hermy knows her mommy is oblivious most of the time, so she made her messages glaringly obvious. I haven't received any new messages from Hermy. Maybe she is trying your technique: quiet and subtle.

Today's another big bump, Trevor. I'm thinking of you and Hermy and sending you many hugs and kisses! Good night!

Hermy's Mommy

Hi, Bobbie, just stopping by to say hello and to get caught up with your beautiful love letters to your beloved Trevor and how you are doing. I am so very glad to know that your dad's surgery went well. I hope his recovery is going well and that each day is renewing his strength. Please do let us know how things are going.

Bobbie, your love letters are a testimony to your and your beloved Trevor's eternal love story. Thank you so much for sharing your beloved Trevor with us. Please know you, your precious Dreamer, your dad, and your family are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I always look forward to sharing your news and your treasured memories of your beloved Trevor.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Dear Trevor,

I've finally put up the stockings for Hermy, Harry, Albus, and Ron. I wish I could be as organized as your mommy is. She had your stocking and your brothers' stockings ready weeks ago.

I've been thinking of you and Hermy alot today. We miss you! I've been trying my hardest to reflect on the good memories, the good times, the happy times. Please tell Hermy that her mommy really is trying but that missing her is very painful. My eyes are still "leaky," but I promise to try remembering the good times (while drying my tears).

I'm going to get fresh flowers tomorrow to place next to your candle and Hermy's candle. Shall I get roses? daisies? a holiday bunch? I'll update you tomorrow. I'm sure both you and Hermy would love to smell them and then munch on them!

Have a wonderful night! I'm sending you lots of hugs and kisses!

Love,
Hermy's Mommy

Dear Trevor,

I'm sorry I'm a little down today, but it's been exactly one month since Hermy left us. I trust that she is happy and healthy and not suffering anymore, but still, I miss her so much. I know she is there with you, and I thank you, Trevor, from the bottom of my heart, for befriending my little bunny. Thank you!

I got two dozen red roses this morning and set them next to the candles. Can you and Hermy smell them? Please tell Hermy that her mommy misses her and loves her so very much and that she is so sorry for being unable to save her.

Trevor, I know your mommy misses you so much too! It's difficult for us to be physically separated from you, even though we know that spiritually you are still with us. We would just like to hold you again.

I hope you and Hermy have a good night and pleasant dreams!

Hugs and Kisses,
Hermy's Mommy

I LOVE YOU, TREVOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



XOXOMommyXOXO

Dear Trevor,

I see your mommy left you a love note last night. Isn't that wonderful?

It's Monday again, and that means I'll be lighting candles for you, Hermy, and all the beloved animals tonight. I hope you and Hermy see the light and feel the warmth from the candles (and our love) being lit all over the world.

I wish you a peaceful night, brave Trevor. We love you!

Hugs,
Hermy's Mommy

Dear Trevor,

I've been thinking of you and your mommy today. I hope her father is recovering well and I hope she is hanging in there as Christmas nears. Only 5 days till Christmas. It's hard to imagine Christmas without you all. Life just isn't the same.

Your mommy will be home soon, and I know she'll visit the cemetery as soon as she returns. No doubt your stockings will still be in place. The weather here has been fairly mild with only a few showers, so definitely no snow covering the stockings yet.

Please have a wonderful night, Mr. Trevor! And please tell Hermy that her mommy loves her so much!

Hugs,
Hermy's Mommy

Dear Trevor,

I think your mommy is going to be home in 2 days. Isn't that great? I know you miss her, and she misses you too!

We're thinking of you and Hermy. We love you!

Good night!

Hugs and Kisses,
Hermy's Mommy Lisa and Harry, Albus, and Ron

Dear Trevor,

One more day! Your mommy will be home soon.

Tomorrow marks yet another week for us. I'll light your candle early tomorrow morning, dear Trevor. Please tell Hermy that I'll be lighting her candle and that I miss her and love her so much.

Thank you, Trevor. Good night!

Hugs,
Hermy's Mommy Lisa

Dearest Trevor!!

I'm coming home tomorrow!!!!! I cannot wait to visit you!

I LOVE YOU, TREVOR!!!!!
XOXOMommyXOXO

DEAR LISA and HERMY,
Thank you from the bottom of my heart for faithfully sending Trevor such beautiful, kind and loving notes while I've been with my dad. He is doing a lot better and we've had so much fun just staying home and trying to figure out ways to make drinking pure liquid enjoyable. It cannot be done!
I'm going to pack now as I have to get up at 5:15 am!!!!!!

I LOVE YOU ALL! Lisa, Hermy, Albus, Harry and Ron XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

WATCH OUT, TREVOR, DREAMER, RUDY, JASPER, BIRNEY, KELLY, CROCKER, SPOT AND SQUIRT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MOMMY'S COMING BACK TO BALTIMORE AND CAN'T WAIT TO VISIT YOU ALL!!!!

Dear Bobbie,

I've been thinking of you and Trevor today. I hope you had a good flight back and will get some rest at home tonight. I know your Trevor is overjoyed to see you back home again.

I'm glad to hear that your dad is doing well. Hopefully he'll get to eat solid foods soon. It's wonderful that you got to spend time with your dad and sister before Christmas and now you can spend Christmas with your husband, Dreamer, Trevor, and all your beloved boys (their names are so adorable--I especially like Squirt).

It was my pleasure to write to Trevor each night. Thank you for allowing me to share my thoughts and feelings with Trevor. Since Trevor is Hermy's first, and likely closest, friend on the other side, I wanted to thank him for his kindness and remind him that we are always thinking of him.

You're in my thoughts and prayers, Bobbie. I know this holiday season will be difficult, as it's the first Christmas without Trevor and Hermy. If we can just hang in there, I think we'll make it. I'll write more later. My eyelids are getting heavy...

Hugs,
Hermy's Mommy Lisa, Harry, Albus, and Ron

Dearest Trevor!

I guess it is late enough to wish you a Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas, Hermy, too!

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO TREVOR, RUDY, BIRNEY, JASPER, KELLY, CROCKER, SPOT & SQUIRT; HERMY, GINA, TUCKER, PEGGY PEARL, THE LITTLE DOG THAT WAS POISONED, THE LITTLE DOG THAT DIED IN HIS CRATE, GRETTA, NIKKI AND BOZO!

I wish I could hear all of you singing "Happy Birthday" to Jesus!

And for those of you who are of different faiths, I sill wish you very HAPPY HOLIDAYS! with each other and your mommies and daddies!

I LOVE YOU, TREVOR!!!!!!!!! more now than ever!
XOXOMommyXOXO

Dearest Trevor,

Merry Christmas!!! We are thinking of you. We love you!

We wish you and Hermy and all of your friends a very Merry Christmas. We're sending you hugs and kisses!

Love,
Hermy's Mommy Lisa, Harry, Albus, and Ron

Hi, Bobbie, it is always a blessing logging in to share your heart-filled love letters to your beloved Trevor and to share your news. I know how wonderful it feels for you to be home reunited with your precious Dreamer and your beloved Trevor and all of your boys.

I hope your dad is continuing in his recovery feeling stronger each day. I know this is a special Christmas for him, too, and all of your family. I know this Christmas has it challenges, but above all, dear Bobbie, I hope and pray you will feel the warmth of your beloved Trevor's sweet Living Spirit filling your heart with his love and the eternal love of each of your beloved companions - - and that your heart will be lifted with this joy.

Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Bobbie, and that I always look forward to sharing your news and your treasured memories of your beloved Trevor.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Merry Christmas Trevor!

Mommy is kind of sad today. I didn't feel well so did not go down to D.C. with Stan. I thought he would make it home (he said he would) in time to go to the cemetery to be with you and your brothers. I waited and waited (he had the good car) and by the time he finally called the cemtery was closed for the day. I didn't get to visit you on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day, our first important holidays apart. That is really hard and sad for me. I don't know why I didn't take the old car, but I didn't and now I have all sorts of regrets and apologies for you. I promise that will never happen again. We are coming in the morning, no matter what.

Did your Grandmom and Grandpop visit you today? They said they would and I know they keep their word. I wonder what kind of flowers/gifts they left?

Oh Trevor, on Friday, which was another big bump in our journey (and Hermy's too), it was the 3 year angel-versary of Rudy's passing. And where was I? Boarding airplanes and flying all over the place trying to get back to Baltimore. Started at 6 am and didn't make it home until 8 pm. Couldn't light a candle for any of you because daddy is afraid to leave those little votive candles burning when no one is home. And now I didn't get out to visit on such an important day. I am so, so sorry my love bugs. I know you understand and forgive me, but I still feel horrible.

I hope Christmas in Heaven was even better than in my imagination! As I was turning off the light in my Manger scene, I got to thinking of all the animals I have celebrating Jesus' birth. There are sheep, cows. donkeys, pigs, dogs (lots of dogs), cats, bunnies, birds, mice, reindeer, camels, monkeys and I can't remember what else. I have enough shepherds and wise men, so I'm continuing to look for more animals. My "scene" covers the entire top of my old upright piano! I keep it up for months! And I thought of you, Trevor, Hermy, Rudy, Kelly, Jasper, Birney, Crocker, Tucker, Spot & Squirt, Gina, Pearl, the little dog that was poisoned, the little dog who died in his crate, all of you newbies and all you non-remembered (who are no remembered!) and I said a special THANK YOU to God for creating you and once again caring for you.

I LOVE YOU, TREVOR!!!!!
XOXOMommyXOXO

Dearest Trevor,

Well, we got to the cemetery and there was the most beautiful fir wreath next to your headstone. A beautiful blue stocking hung from the wreath and in it was a small bag of dog treats. Your grandmom and grandpop came through as they always do. They really love and miss you, little one. I will write to them in the next couple days.

Trevor, I miss you so terribly much. I miss all the boys and tonight I even worry about Dreamer. I don't know why tonight should be any different, but it is. I am in need of such comfort that I haven't needed for quite awhile. And the best comfort comes from each and all of you: Trevor, Rudy, Birney, Jasper, Kelly, Crocker, Spot & Squirt, Hermy and Gretta. I would so appreciate it if you all could form a little circle around me and send me a couple encouraging thoughts. Even if I don't understand the words, the feeling would be so wonderful.

I realize with each boy that lived with me, I got better at expressing my love to you and being more patient with your antics, etc. I feel the worst for Rudy and Trevor. For different reasons that are private between me and them, but I have so much to apologize for, especially Rudy, that I feel I can never make it up to you, Rudy. If only once, I could do it right. Trevor, you needed me the most and I tried to be there for you as much as I could. But even yesterday, when I was home sick with Dreamer, I thought about how we left you for so many hours on what would be your last Christmas on earth, counting on others to give you your medication. That was not right nor was it fair. And there you were, when we got home, trying to wag your tail and say Hi! to us.

Right now I have no confidence. And I know the perfect ones who will understand and continue to love me: all of you (and God). Right now, I could use your softness, gentleness and lack of worry about the future. And I could use Dreamer to stay on top of the bed tonight (which just won't happen). I need your perfect love to hold me and assure me that the future is in the future and I can't do much about that, so live NOW.

Thank you, my wonderful little boy miracles. Thank you for everything, every time. I love you all, with all my heart and soul.

XOXOMommyXOXO

Dearest Trevor, Rudy, Birney, Jasper, Kelly, Crocker, Spot & Squirt,

I miss each and every one of you with all my heart and today feels exactly like the day I said good-bye to each of you. Even Bozo and Nikki, I miss you just as much, even though you passed over without me.

Why am I so incredibly sad? I want every one of you to be incredibly happy and content each and every day, all day long. I also want to be with you all for one of the most amazing group hugs in history.

I LOVE YOU ALL!!!!!!!!!

XOXOXOXOMommyXOXOXOXO

Dearest Trevor,

I think about you every minute of every day. And today I just desperately want to feel the softness of your hair, the warmth of your breath and the incredible courage you always had. I miss you, honey. And I just don't know what to do.


Please have a good night with your brothers, Gretta, Hermy, Gina, Tucker, the little dog who was poisoned, the little dog who died in his crate, all the newbies and the non-remembered.


I love you, Trevor, with every fiber of my being and every breath that I take.

XOXOMommyXOXO

Hello my little hunky bunky!

I have no idea why I started calling you that nickname, but you seemed to like it and responded to me, so it kind of stuck. How are you doing today, honey? Mommy had a very rough night last night and was up very late. But after "talking" to you, I got an idea to write a very important letter that will never be sent and that helped tremendously. I wish I could write you a letter that actually held all the love, admiration, pride and joy I have and had for you. But that would be impossible because, once again, I only have HUMAN words and not the heavenly words that would begin to capture what I mean. I hope, no, I know that now you understand how much I love you and loved you while we were together on earth. I tried, but just couldn't pour out to you all the passion that I felt: both good and not-so-good. I was (and still am) so damn angry at fate/God/whatever that not only caused your hydrocephalus, etc., but also at the fact that, obviously, no one cared enough, earlier on, to get to the root cause of your symptoms. Instead it was easier to just brush them off as Temperment. And I mus confess, I fell into that trap initially. But, as your daddy so often reminds me, you came to us when you needed exactly what we had for you: LOVE, compassion, determination to find out what was troubling you and then even more determination to relieve you of your pain in the most compassionate way possible. (This sounds like I am bragging, but I'm really not. I am re-saying these things to reassure myself that I did do everything I humanly/humanely could for you. Because I really wish I could have done more and made your life happier, easierand better. And I think I will always feel that way.)
You were the biggest "love receiver" I have ever known. You accepted ever tiny bit of love I had for you, along with all the bigger love-stuff, too. And you had/have the most incredibly gentle way of giving your love right back to me. Trevor, you are my miracle. Nothing short, but a total miracle. You accepted what I wanted to give you every single time (except wiping your mouth after eating, which stopped quickly when you bit through the leather gloves) in such gracious and kind ways. That's what you were: kindness and love!!

I love you today, yesterday, tomorrow and forever. You touch my heart & soul in ways no one else can. I love you, honey, so, so much.

Have a peace-filled night with all your friends, brothers, Gretta, Hermy, Star (you probably already know her), Gina, Tucker, Pearl, the little dog that was poisoned, the little dog that died in his crate, all the newbies and all the non-remembered. Remind them that I love every one of them, too!

I still miss you, Trevor.





Mommy

My dear, dear Trevor,

Oh, how I wish you were here with me right now. I need to rely on your courage, determination, acceptance of your fate, and your love.

You know what is going on right now, so I don't have to spell it out. Please continue to show me how to live with terrible adversity and be silent at the same time. I love you, my little sweet one and I long to feel your sweetness next to me.

Have a good night with everyone and I'll be thinking of you all night.

I LOVE YOU, TREVOR!

XOMommyXO

Hi, Bobbie, stopping by to say hello and to share your beautiful heart-filled love letters to your beloved Trevor. Your eternal love for your beloved Trevor and all your boys always fills my heart with joy and warmth. Thank you so much for sharing your eternal love with us.

The future can be very intimidating. I hope and pray that the coming year will be filled with many blessings for you and your family. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Bobbie, and that I always look forward to sharing your news and your beautiful letters to your beloved Trevor.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Dearest Trevor,

Well, it's New Year's Eve with about 2 hours to spare until 2012. Just a new number to write on my checks.

I miss you so much that I just don't know what to do right now. Dreamer is at my feet and is such a very good dog, but he's not you and I want you. And I want you now. And I know I'm a big baby for having leaky eyes and a breaking heart, but it hasn't even been 6 months yet and I feel like we've been apart forever.

Now, this is no way to wish you well in 2012, but you already have it all. And for that I will always be grateful. I put your picture in your Grandmom's Christmas stocking today when we were out at the cemetery. It looks so much nicer that way. I hope she doesn't mind.

I love you, Trevor, with my heart and soul and every fiber of my being. Nothing has changed. Please have a HAPPY night with your brothers and Gretta and Hermy and Gina and Pearl and Tucker and the little dog that was poisoned and the little dog who died in his crate, all the newbies and the non-remembered and anyone who's name I have not mentioned. We love you all, now and forever!

XOMommyXO (and Dreamer)