Can Alex fly fast you're wondering? Well: Faster than a speeding bullet. More powerful than a locomotive. Able to leap tall buildings in a single bound. Look! Up in the sky! Is it a bird? Is it a plane? Errr ... Yeah, it's a bird. But! It's SUPER ALEX!!!!! Ta Da!

Talk atcha later, Dood. Oh, I want to send another PM to you but ... It sure makes me sound like a horrible person and I kid you not. Nooo, nothing to do with you and yours, Bubba. I'll have to give some thought before I decide whether or not to share with you. Oh, it does have to do with pet loss. Mmmkay. 'Nuff said about that. How ya doin' Pal?

Big Hugs to You and Yours!!!

Always,
Dottie xoxoxox

Things pretty good here--------Sounds like your up and about.CHEERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! C U later-------------Bubba................

Yoo Hoo Bubba ... You have a PM. Just lettin' ya know ...

Hugs!!!

Your Pal,
Dottie xoxoxox

Hey there Dottie----------Well I read your PM and It totally makes sense to me what you have stated.I'll call them (in the order of the PM)#1 #2 #3
#1-immaturity,short attention span,always getting what you want and trying to get back something that cannot be returned no matter how much is in your wallet.
#2-reading only the'good parts' and skimming over the rest.not 'getting' the big picture and a series of but,but,but etc...mine is worse vibe.one upsmanship as it were.Perhaps lack of gratitude for the help that was given by you to #2.
#3-He gets it I think.Knows it can't be reversed,grieved,continues to grieve(like us) but 'knows' it is not over but put on hold till the next life.Making adjustments.In other words being 'adult' about it while still not being happy about it.
I hope I made sense here.Maybe my attention span is questionable as well.Sometimes, I think,some folks come to LS,at least initially,(I think I did) to somehow magically get their fur and feather babies back in this earthly existence.Eventually,we realize though that what we can accomplish here is to perhaps find a new way to view our babies death and if one is even a little bit prudent,can see that this is NOT all there is to the program and we somehow in our no-words-can descibe-our-pain predicament will find a way to alter our view and since their is no turning back,find a way,painful as it is to propel in a forward-motion posture to envision a positive future for us and our babies realizing that the situation is not static but rather one that is in constant flux and transition.Now,having regurgitated all that lofty stuff it still sucks!!!!!!!!!You and I know this all to well.Time passes and we still have un-godly moments of anguish followed by respites of calm and clarity.Why? Well, I think that while we have these moments of insanity we also realize and pray(read:faith) that the show is really just beginning and this life is just a overture(albeit seemingly long with too many modulations,come on already let's get past the opening!!!) to something alot,really alot longer(eternity).People like us know this while we still feel the same pain the rest have.Your hard work on this forum has not gone unnoticed by the vast majority here.Hold you ground and continue your style.Great minds have always suffered and always will.Those of us who have awakend in this life cannot ever return to slumber.........we can only doze.........

I hope this made sense Dottie--------Your forum pal,gassin up the bus, Bubba.................

Bubba!!! OMG!!! It only just now struck me that other people might not read the same meaning into that song that I always have. For example: "There's a love that's Divine. and it's yours and its mine. Like the Sun." OMG!!! I am laughing so hard because most of the time I take for granted that people can read my mind, know what I'm thinking and what different images and lyrics mean to me. I'll bet that's some kind of a love song? Until just this moment, I have never, ever thought of it as a love song. To me, it's a giving thanks, showing gratitude, appreciation, love, and blessing song. Oh My Gosh! I feel sooooo embarrassed and am sitting here blushing beet red. Laughing, too. Oh dear. Let me try to explain ...

Okay, here goes. "There's a Love that's Divine." That means to me God's love, feeling it, knowing it, being bless with having that kind of Divine love in our hearts, souls and our spirit. The next sentence follows that you and I both are blessed in that way and can share that gift with others. It's a love and peace that surpasses understanding ... But we get it. We are so lucky!

Errr ... I think that's the only verse that sounds different from what I've always thought. I ain't sure so will have to ask someone dumb as a bag of rocks like my brother. Oh, I mean he's dumber than a bag of rocks when it comes to this kind of thing. Otherwise he's a very brilliant, wonderful brother and a great pal. I'll call him later tonight when he's free so he can make me feel stoopid cuz he always loves doing that. It's fun for him. Kidding! Sort of. LOL!

Catcha later, Dood ....

Always,
Dottie xoxoxox

Hey Dottie---------Dumb as a bag of rocks----------I've always liked 'About as sharp as a bag of donuts"----------No worrys on the lyrics(you can now return to your original color)-------I get it.No need to be embarrassed..........Bubba Moon Dude vibrates in all realms of thought (yuk yuk)
Pass the bread,here comes the baloney................So my reply made sense?...........Hope so........C U a little later
Bubba Baba Patchouli dust.........Saalam Bada Bing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "So, why the long face?" BarrrrrrrrrUMp Bump!!!!!!!!!!!!!..................

Bubba ... I'm askeerd! Why am I so askeerd? Cuz all you said makes perfect sense to me so I must be as loony tunes as you!

HAHAHA!!!!!!!!!! Still true all the same.

You're O-TEY!

Thank you for being my Friend!!! Hey, that's the theme song to the TV series Golden Girls IIRC?

Big Hug!!!

Your Pal,
Dottie xoxoxox

Welcome to saturday morning cartoons!!!!!!!! Talk to ya a little lata..........Bubba...........

Hey Dottie--------What a great picture. Reminds me of another time.Used to 'see' similar images frequently back then.Thanx for the little update, I needed that!!!!!!! ...C U later..........Bubba........

You're welcome, Bubba. Glad to have brought you some pleasant flashbacks ...
Errr ... I mean memories. *Smiling at You!*

Take care my Friend and I'll catcha later.

Hugs, Love and Peace to You, Your Wife, Willy, Lily and all the Gang!!!

Your Pal Always,
Dottie xoxoxox

Smiling at U 2---------Catchya on the rebound..........Bubba........

Hello everybody here at LS--------Haven't been here in awhile and thought I would drop by.Tomorrow Dec-3 marks the 3 month point of my boy Willy's passing.And while the constant gut-flaming-wretching grief has calmed down a bit,every so often it comes back full force and I think I am truely losing my mind.The crying,screaming,thinking my eyes will be pushed from their sockets kind of pain we all can relate to.I look at his pictures and.....well.........it's all over for the next 15 minutes.To see him one more time before the road winds.I really need to take my own advice as I so freely gave out to others here on the forum when I was posting frequently.Easier said than done to be sure.While my faith and my own death are solidly things I have complete acceptance in,and the obvious truth that my own passing is the only way I can be with my boy,doubt intermittently rears it's ugly head and at those times of weakness,puts me in to a temporary state of psychosis.It is not a pretty place to be.Dark,cold,alone,without hope and vacant.These moments are juxtaposed with times of complete clarity and a 'knowing' that all will work out and I will be with Willy when I have completed my program here on earth.Not a second sooner or later.At the exact spot where it is written. Like the ONE LOUD cymbal crash in a 90 minute symphony at the precise beat in the score.If I lose my place in the music(spiritual dozing after reaching a labor- begotten God awareness through prayer for a lifetime and finally becoming 'awakend') I'll never know that the cymbals have crashed until it is too late.I must stay in a vigil posture and be alert.All of you here at LS are very special,loving people to have loved your pets with so much vigor and sincerity.I truely am grateful for all the posts that have been branded on my LS thread by Y'all.May the good Lord bless you all and I yearn for the day we can all board that Magic Bus to the Rainbow Bridge to reunite with our babies forever.Oh what a great party it will BE!!!!!!!! I'll bring the sandwiches........Peace and Love........Bubba....................

Hi Bubba, These pesky anniversarys are tough. But you said it so well. I still feel the same emotions as you. It will be 6mo on the 8th and yet still not one day has passed that I haven't shed tears over my loss. It truely is a dark and lonely place at times. I have to keep telling myself over and over the Rainbow bridge IS real and I'm on that yellow brick road towards it. With each passing anniversary a little snack goes into that party bag that I will be carrying with me.. Well, what's left of me anyways, for a hugh part of me died that day too. Hoping you find comfort and peace this holiday season..Take care.. Ann

Hi Ann----Yea, those fluxuations of emotions are as painful as they can be.I'll be thinking of you on the 8th.Wouldn't it be great if God gave us a free day,say Christmas, for a real visit with our babies just to let us know that they are really with Him/Her and then take them back to His/Her house till next Christmas? After all it's God I'm talkin bout here.Couldn't be that difficult.Most of us seem to be very caring people and I don't think it would be asking too much.Not to be disrespectful, but it seems at times that our pain doesn't matter much to the Boss.If God is really coming back to make everything new and alive again one would think enough time has passed since the creation and it would be time to get off the throne and get this party started.I probably just made a reservation in the hot spot but I am hoping God understands my frustrations and such.I have believed and trusted in Him/Her for most of my life.Sure wouldn't mind just a little break.Ann,may you find some well deserved peace and comfort during this annual end-o-the year holiday.We can get back to the grind soon enough come January.Bless ALL of our sweet beautiful babies in Heaven.
Your Forum Pal, Bubba..............

Hi, Bubba

Anniversaries are very rough. But whether it is 3 month, as you said, or 6 month, as Ann said, it is just the same....as I believe....we will miss them forever and love them forever. Even mine being a little over a year still hurts and the tears can still come. And...it is okay to cry.

Sometimes we just need to do that to help relieve some of the intense pain we feel because we miss them so very much.

We just have to remember how glad we are they came into our lives and became a part of our hearts. As one of my favorite sayings written by a Mom here says:
The pain of losing him will never ever be greater than the joy of knowing him.

Amen to that. It helps to remember that and let that "joy" replace the "pain" as best we can.

I remember last year when I lost my Little Guy in the ER in September...so I had the Holiday season with an empty home...no furbaby at all. It was so hard to go through that I wound up adopting a shelter cat the day after Christmas and said..no more Holidays without a furbaby to hug.

We get through the Holidays because there is no other recourse..it is simply we have to learn to do and do whatever it takes to help us do it. This year...my adopted one is my help. I could not do it alone.

Yes, I agree it would be nice if we all could get the best Christmas present of all.....a way of connecting and knowing they are waiting for us. It is hard to believe that beautiful particular unique spirit each one of these sweethearts have...would not be surrounding us at all times..since that soul is also part of ours now.

Remember the joy and use it to help lighten the darkness that can and will come at anytime because that pain is also part of us as we miss those special ones that truly became our very best friends...each unique and like no other and each so very very special to us now and forever.

I wish you peace and healing. Peace takes practice. Healing takes time.

Always remember...here..you are never alone.
Judy

Hi Judy ----------I am not sure if you intended it,but your words somehow made me think that I could be thinking selfishly.By that I mean that if I practice what I preach,that is,that Willy is here in spirit and can sense what I feel, then,following that logic,I am keeping him from truely resting in peace and having a new life free of pain,being young again,and the big one:that he is waiting for me patiently at the Bridge and all I really have to do is live my life to my appointed time just as he lived his till his time and as Dottie used to say "It is just a breath away" and my time will be finished here and His and my time will start again never to be seperated again.I really have to hold that thought.Hopefully he won't mind a few tears now and then.Naw, he wouldn't as when I would cry when he was alive he would come running to me IMMEDIATLY to comfort me.I have to grow up and finish this program.Maybe your words had a hidden or lateral depth to them or maybe I am just crazy.Whatever it is I dig the insight and I thank you soooo much.I hope you are doing ok and maybe I can return the favor someday when you are deep in the sorrow.I hope I can.Thanks Judy for being a good forum pal...........From a PetParent just like you..........Bubba

I am not sure if you intended it,but your words somehow made me think that I could be thinking selfishly.By that I mean that if I practice what I preach,that is,that Willy is here in spirit and can sense what I feel, then,following that logic,I am keeping him from truly resting in peace and having a new life free of pain,being young again,and the big one:that he is waiting for me patiently at the Bridge and all I really have to do is live my life to my appointed time just as he lived his till his time and as Dottie used to say "It is just a breath away" and my time will be finished here and His and my time will start again never to be separated again.I really have to hold that thought.

Hi, Bubba: When we released our babies from their suffering...that was the most unselfish thing we can do. You are not thinking selfishly at all. Willy is here in spirit because his spirit is now truly a part of your heart and can never leave you. He is at peace and without pain, being young again, and, yes, waiting for you at the Bridge and his "bridge" is wherever you are. At least, that would be my idea of Heaven. Everything should be possible in such a place. In other words, all these babies should have each other to keep them company as well as always being a part of our lives so they can watch over us..never wanting to undo that strong bond that they have with us.

Yes, all we really have to do IS live our life to its appointed time.the best we can. I know it can seem to be hard to believe but I do believe we are not separated from them now. Only physically, which since we are still here physically...it is important to be able to hug them physically and our pain comes from not being able to do that. One day we will all be on the same spirit plane and there will be plenty of hugs and doggie kisses (people hug...doggies kiss with a doggie kiss). (And, kitties have their own way of kissing too).

Not only our special best friends but also we should be at our best age, no pain or suffering of any kind. And when we join them on the special plane they are on now....there truly can never ever be any separation again. They can be there and in our hearts also because all things are possible in the Heaven we picture.

I guess it boils down to Heaven is what we want it to be and we are free to picture it in our minds what make it truly heaven-like to us.

Hope I didn't get too confusing here. And you are right about Woody not minding your crying...he know why the tears come and you know he would lick each one away if he was here physically. You are right about him running to comfort you. These best friends cannot be any other way. That is part of the many things that make them all so very special.

We can never understand why their time comes so quickly...or even at all..but we must accept what we cannot control and just love them each day we have them physically with us and then when their bodies fail them...we still love them..only now we add the pain of missing them, of holding them. That is where life gets cruel..when it takes them away.

But we treasure the fact that they were and always will be a part of us. Nothing can ever separate that bond.

Take care,
Judy

Judy----I agree 100% with all you have stated.I am so glad this forum is here for people like us.Where else can we talk about the intracacies about our babies except here.As most of us have discovered,long gone is the time we can talk about these feelings with our friends or even family members as they can't really understand the bond we shared and more important continue to share with our kids.Maybe we are eccentrics.Then so be it.I also think we are blessed to have the type of makeup that enables us to connect so intimately with these beautiful creatures.Your post has made complete sense.Thank you so much Judy........May the good Lord Bless ALL our babies...........Bubba.............

Hi, Bubba

Just a short note to say I am thinking of you at this Holiday time and remembering Willy as well as my Little Guy and just wishing you and your family a peaceful and healing Holiday time.

We will love them forever and miss them forever....that's a given.
It is the missing that causes the most pain.....it does that to me.

But I am so very grateful I had my best friend for the time I did. The pain is hard but the joy is worth the pain. I can't imagine not having my boy in my life because I would think in the future he will have to leave...I leave that thought to the future. That's why I can welcome another into my home as I did last Christmas. He looks like my boy but he does not have what my boy did. It does feel good to hug him. But I can also still cry looking at pictures of my boy and wishing he could have stayed longer. I think we all know that wish.

Hugs to these Angels of ours.....they are too much a part of our hearts to truly leave us.

Someday.......there will be a sweet reunion.....that's what I would call "Heaven".

Take care....Pet Parent Pal
Judy

Hi Judy-----Yep,that surely would be heaven.Well,this is the first Christmas without my big boy and it will be sad to say the least.Had a couple of rough days this week but I have made it through the 2 day period when it seems to be the hardest when these episodes well up.I know Little Guy and Willy are waiting patiently for us to arrive but I have to admit my that patience is not my greatest virtue.I am glad that some of us here on LS keep in touch as it is a wonderful place to bond for people of our ilk.I think people like us who love our pets as deeply as we do are in somewhat of a minority and this forum helps us keep our sanity long after our babies have gone.We may be eccentric but at least we care.That is my take on it anyway.When we do arrive at the Bridge,we will receive a gift better than any Christmas gift we can imagine.God bless our babies Judy.Thankfully they are in His/Her care.Have a peaceful Christmas day fellow PetParent,talk to ya soon...........Bubba...........

Oh Bubba, please forgive me. I haven't got one single thing to offer that might comfort you. I'm so very, very sorry! Your first Christmas without Willy? Dad burn it, Bubba. All I can do is sit here and bawl like a blubbering idiot. I remember my first Christmas last year without Alex and it was pure hell. Since I honestly believe I know you pretty well from the chats we've had so far, I can't even imagine your grief right now. Well, I do imagine it's pretty gosh darned awful terrible fierce and I wouldn't be a bit surprised if you've been crying most of the day. Perhaps I ought hush up before I bring you down even lower in despair than you're already feeling.

I read your post several times and still am crying buckets because I feel your broken heart. I sure as heck don't want to make things any worse for you either. Perhaps you knowing that I care so much and truly do feel your pain helps a little? Bubba, I ain't lost my healing touch. Honest. It's just that I can really feel your heart breaking. It's so palpable.

Hey, I can promise that it does get better. Does that help at all? And, I know that you know how holidays, birthdays, anniversaries and other occasions make the pain of your loss far, far more acute, too. I hope and pray you get through this first Christmas without your fur kid and the New Year brings better days for you, Dear One.

Okay, I've depressed you enough so I'll go away for now. Can you remember how Willy is giving Alex piggy back rides at The Bridge and having so much fun? Remember the videos of the doggie with the baby chicks on his back and that one chick that used his back for a slide while the doggie was sitting on the ground? Perhaps looking at those videos again may be of some help getting you through this day, Bubba.

Please know I've never stopped and never will stop thinking and praying for you and Willy. You're both great pals ya know.

Please give your lovely wife and all your other fur kids a big hug for me. Okay? Thanks bunches.

Tons of Comforting Hugs and Blessings to You, Your Wife, Willy, Lily and all the Gang!!!

Always,
Dottie xoxoxox

Hey Dottie----sure glad to see that you are back.Yea,it's not so much that it is Christmas itself as we are not huge celebrators of that day.It is just one of those firsts marked by a holiday I guess.I listened to some schmuck on the radio the other day saying how there is no proof in the Bible that pets are going to join us in heaven but there will be other animals.Then he just sort of wrote it off with an "oh well!" vibe.Well screw him!!!!!!!! God has to be more than confined to a series of stories written by whacked out loners without girlfriends who were stoned out on magic mushrooms and marigold seeds.OK I took a few liberties there but I feel better.A little mental Metamucil.I Do remember my vision of Alex and Willy runnin around and the baby chicks on the pooch as well.That's the stuff that keeps me going.Enough about me.I hope all that you had to take care of while you were away came out in your favor as I remember you had lots of stuff goin on.Saw a great movie today called 'The curious life of Benjamin Button' really good.6 or 7 hankies would be my recommendation.Anyhoo I am glad you're back and I am sure many here at LS would agree.C U a little later,
The ol coot Bubba..................

Hey Bubba

There are a lot of things that depress me, but I really, really believe that we will see our furbabies on the other side. I told you the story before about how my now x-h's wife in spirit contacted me before I even knew him and was sending me love. And with some very concrete evidence - the medium I spoke to said what she died of (and it was not a typical disease or accident), mentioned the name of my now x-sd, and other concrete stuff that there is *no way* this guy would have ever known. I had not even met x-hd yet (and perhaps that may have been a blessing in hindsight? ) But I do believe that x-hd's wife in spirit was sending me her love and blessings because of specific concrete evidence, and also how on earth would she have known that I was even going to meet him? This specific, very real concrete communication alone (and this is not all I have heard and seen from "the other side") proves to me that no-one truly dies.

The other thing that I have experienced is that while people talk about "God's Will" or "Karma" or "Meant to Be" type stuff - we all have *free will* and so things are not quite so predictable as some may make out. At many pathways in our lives I think all of us know we could have made any number of choices which affect outcome. When I had undiagnosed swelling in my foot that no doctor could explain, someone said to me "Why did you create that for yourself?" I mentioned to someone else here that maybe I could have slapped her in the face and said "Now why did *you* create that for *yourself*?!"... but of course being a non-violent sort of gal I couldn't have done that.... So things happen, sometimes loss happens from disease, old age, accident - sometimes it seems an "act of God" sometimes it is affected directly by someone's choice. Not that in your case with your Bubba there was any choice, but I guess I'm just explaining this because of the unhelpful remarks I've often had to face in the tragedies of the past year....

s**t happens, I don't know why, I just know that it's what we *do* with what happens that counts. Like I can stay in perpetual anger and depression, and become vindictive or lose all joy of life, or I can say, okay well since there's pretty much a blank slate here in my life story, maybe it's time to start a new book....

Still, those connections with the souls on the other side, as well as those (dysfunctional as they may be) connections with those on this side, don't vanish into thin air. We are all interconnected and though form may change, the energy that created us also keeps us as "one".

And that is my sermon for today....

Jan.

YEA BABY!!!!!!!! CAN I HEAR AN AMEN!!!!!!!!!!!

What you just posted gives me great comfort.What you said about "starting a new book" sounds like you are shoring up and starting to make some progress already in your new chapter.This is great news to me and your other friends here on the forum.I think you just gave yourself a very cool Christmas gift.Good for you buddy!!!!!!!!!! Keep us all posted.Until later,Bubba....................

Bubba! Bubba! I've got the most awesome videos to show you but my PC is giving me fits and you know how I like to make my posts all pretty and stuff. Here's a preview: They are Bulldog fur kids doing something I sure can't do and ... It's so neat! I want to show you now to take your mind off of ... You know ... "Stuff" ... Just for a breather. Hey, one of the bullies looks so very much like Willy as you described him to me.

Well, I could just post the neat stuff for you to enjoy then come back later and edit in all the pretties, descriptions and narratives that I'd love to give you. How does that sound, Bubba? I've got all the basics ready to post straight away. Want to?

Tons of Hugs!!!

Your "Obsessive Compulsive" Pal,
Dottie xoxoxox

Oh heck, Bubba. This dad gum PC is going to act up for at least a couple days until it gets some rest and cools down from me overworking it so badly.

So, here are the neato Bulldog videos (in no particular order) and I'll come back to edit and talk about each one when my computer decides to cooperate with me. I have a bunch of great related photos, too. I just don't want to make you wait that long. I hope and pray you enjoy, are comforted and maybe these videos might just bring you a sorely needed smile.

Okay, here they are in no particular order so please turn up your volume and click on the links ...

Varrrooommm!!!

Oy! I'm bushed but still having Fun!

Woo Hoo!!! Look at me go!!!

I'll betcha can't catch me! I feel the need for speed! Weee!!!

I'm tired, hot as Hades so I'm doing my gliding thing. Ahhh!

I hope these videos gave you sort of a mini vacation and hopefully a smile or two as well, my friend.
I'll be back to edit in more good stuff when my PC stops booting me off.

Big Hugs to You, Your Dear Wife, Willy, Lily and all the Gang!!!

Your Pal,
Dottie xoxoxox

Oh Dottie!!!!!! Those vids are wonderful.The first one with Chief looks like a reincarnation of Willy.The coloring,weight,face.......It's like I can see him alive again.I am crying but they are good tears.Just a big ol happy guy like Willy was. WOW!!!!!!!!! The smaller guy on the last vid while having a pure white face so much looks like Willy in structure and features it is eerily like having him here again.I reallly can't put into words how happy you have made me feel by sending those images.Thank you sooooo much dear friend.Imagine how lost people must feel who don't participate in a forum such as this and go it alone after losing a baby.Worse, how lonely it was before computers and when people wore out their friends and family with pet-talk and had nowhere left to turn to.We are so glad you have come back Dottie and I hope I can say something someday that can make you feel as happy as you have just done for me.
so glad to be in touch again........yer ol buddy Bubba..............

Awww! I'm Soooo Happy, Happy, Happy these videos brought you such joy and sweet memories, Bubba. Hey, I told you about that one bullie looking just like Willy! Ain't that something?

So, you really wanna thank me? Buahahaha! I have just the thing. Ya like horror movies? How about real life scary as heck stuff?! Eeeekkkk! Well, I have a video that I'd like you to watch. Oh, ya don't gotta but I'll call you a wuss and chicken if ya don't. You see, there's this Quaker parrot which looks just like my Alex did ... BUT! He has a "Fatal Attraction" for the pet cat.

Ohhhh Nooo! Ain't nothing good can come from this so view with Caution! If you dare! You have been Warned! And here's the link. I think you may wish some form of sedation handy. OMG! Shocking! Shocking! Oy! Here it is ...

FATAL ATTRACTION!!!

R.I.P. poor Quaker birdie.

Talk atcha after you've witnessed the carnage. Heh!

Always,
Dottie xoxoxox

Whoa!!!!! That is quite an intro in your post.I promise to watch tomorrow in the light of day.Maybe I'll let Lily watch it first.She is fearless.
I promise a full report.
Your 200 lb wuss buddy,
Bubba.....................

Ahhh, common Bubba. Geeesssee! Do you honestly think I'd post something like ... I mean, really! Oy! LOL! You wuss! ROFL!!!

Big Hugs!!!

Your Worst Nightmare Pal!
Dottie xoxoxox

Dottie-------My curiosity got the best of me and I watched it.Now that is one mellow cat!!!!!!!! I am glad for that little feathered fellow That Mr. Meow took a few tokes on the catnip bong before that scene was shot.What a trusting creature.I love how parrots bob up and down like that.I almost thought he would climb on that friendly felines' back and yell "YEE HAWWWW" like someone else we know.

B back tomorrow to continue our adventure......Must get my beauty sleep.......pleasant dreams dear friend, Bubba..............

I hoped you'd enjoy that video, Bubba. It's one of my favorites. You don't have to read any further of course, but I'll explain what's going on in the video between Dewey bird and Charlie kitty. But, I don't wanna bore you though.

Bobbing up and down in this case is Dewey parrot's way of "hugging" Charlie cat. Example: See in the beginning when the Quaker rubs the back of his head on Charlie's face? The bird is "cuddling" and showing affection. Oh, the bird is very happy but he's not doing the "happy bobbing" type dancing that you see lots of parrots and other pet birds do especially to music, human game type interaction and so on. Also, at the beginning, it looks like Dewey bird is pulling at Charlie's whiskers. Nope, he's preening Charlie cat.

Again, at the very beginning, Dewey bird keeps putting his foot (leg) on Charlie cat's face. That could mean a few things: 1. Trying to get the cat to return the bird's affection. 2. A type of greeting.
3. Attempting to get as close to the cat as possible for closer cuddling. Just watch the video again and you'll see what I mean. It's my educated opinion that the bird is cuddling because of his other action of rubbing up and down a bunch on the cat's face. Yep, I do know my birds. LOL!

Note how the cat turns his head and you hear the woman's voice call out to Charlie cat to make him face the camera again. What's happening here is that Dewey bird is preening Charlie's fur and Charlie has a favorite spot he wants the bird to preen ... Which does happen later in the video along with the bird preening all over the cat's face, neck, ears and more. So no, the cat isn't annoyed in the least.

If the cat were annoyed or ticked off, his ears would be in the back position and not straight up. Know what I mean? In addition, the cat isn't doing that quick tail flick motion they do when they're ticked off. No hair is raised either. Also, if the cat was annoyed or ticked off he would either bat at the bird to chase him away or Charlie cat would just get up and take off himself. Trust me, that cat may not love or even like the bird but he is sure enjoying himself and it shows big time. In fact, at one minute and twenty-five seconds into the video, click the pause button. See the cat's body language especially his raised head and position of his ears? Bubba, that's called Moggie Bliss. Awww!

At the very end of the video, the camera gets close enough to see the cat's full face: Eyes, ears, mouth. Well, there's one very relaxed, laid back, contented feline. I Love this video Sooooo Much!!! Awww! Thanks oodles and boodles for sharing it with me, Bubba. That was Fun!!!

Big Hugs!!!

Your Pal,
Dottie

PS. I ain't certain but I really don't think any "herbs" were utilized by the feline in the video.
PS. PS. My kitty Styx loved Alex but I had to be very careful cuz Alex sure didn't like Styx. Oy!

Mornin' to ya, Bubba. You've got some guests here today. Please click on the text links.

What do you like best? His High Five, him doing the twist, break dancing or my favorite: His portrayal of Superman?

Bubba, please tell me you never put any such thing on Willy? Oy! How humiliating. Might look kinda sexy on Lily though.

Remember Tyson the bullie in one of those skateboarding videos I showed you? Here he is and I do feel a song in my heart. "You must have been a beautiful baby. But baby, look at you now!"

How about a big bowl of EIGHT beautiful bully babies?
Oops, I'm pretty sure that I just counted NINE! Awww!

Bubba! I did NOT know that bullies can swim! Oh My Gosh! Weee!

Now he's all tuckered out now but keeping me awake. Can that bully snore any louder? My poor ears.

Even bullies love to go down the kiddy slide, too. Sorry for the poor quality of this film but so cool!

How the heck do you get a bully to sneeze on command? Fascinating talent!

Ut Oh. This bully has a bit of gas. OMG! I do believe that's the loudest burp I've ever heard!

Well, it could be worse though and come out the other end. Phew!

It's a bit smelly in here from that last video so I'm off to fetch the air freshener. Sure wish I had some matches to light. Seeya later, Dude.

Big Hugs!!!

Always,
Dottie xoxoxox

Lemme get the lysol!!!!!!!Yes they all fart and burp to be sure.All 4 of mine through thr years have had their share of syles and methods of expulsions.Willy our course was the loudest farter on record,Then he would look around and have a 'WHAT!!!' expression on his face.Lily can be counted on a loud BURP!!!!!!!!! as soon as she takes a drink of water. very attrsctive,But we lov em to dearth........oh well.I tried to put Willy in a pool once and he sank like a rock. No collars for my dogs.Too dangerous and can get caught up in bushes and choke to death.They are with me 24/7 and are always undersupervision..............I am over protective.They are lazy and prefer to be home where they are spoiled like you can't believeC U later,
At home Dad to the max....................Bubba..............

Hi Bubba

I just thought I'd come over and say hi because I've had my own little pity party for a real long time on my little thread, oblivious to all others (mostly because reading about anyone else's pain was almost unbearable.)

But you've hung in there for me during this rotten time in my life and I just wanted to thank you. Your Willy sure was lucky to have a special dad as well as your present furkids. I wish I could send him to you in a dream or through reincarnation, but I do think he's with you whenever you think of him. In fact I'm sure he's drawn to you, and just now I could see him licking your face in my minds eye.

I was hearing Rosie bark several times and Toonie mentioned that it seemed it was whenever I was deeply sad about x-h's cold behaviour. That did seem true. I haven't heard her for several days, maybe even weeks (my sense of time is kinda mixed up) now. When I am crying, my pets each have their own reaction. Chance my Aussie runs to his crate (typical guy reaction), Sprite sits steadfast next to me and little Asha does a silly clown dance. She even makes me laugh sometimes. I am sure she is trying to "bring me back" so to speak, what a funny little shy dog she is!

We will get through this! Yay, bro.

Jan.

Yea we will.I got so worn out with grief or whatever it is over the holidays (I also have been dealing with my dad's passing 1-2-02) that I sort of snapped back to non-holiday time.Some sort of acceptance was learned over the past number of days.I am just pooped and realize I have to keep living I guess.All the dead beings have it easy because their DEAD!!!!!!!!!!
(From The Bubba training course on positive thinking(found on the back of most matchbooks) )

Mr. Temporarily(till the next crisis) Moving On...............
Bubba.............

Mr Temporarily Moving On,

Sorry to inform you that there is no such thing as DEATH! It's just a change of "lifestyle" so to speak.

Did I tell you the story about the dragonfly? If so, then excuse my repeating it here.

After Ziggy died, I went to the bottom of the farm and sat in a lawnchair, still in shock from the realization. A red dragonly landed on my arm and sat there on me for a long time, several minutes. I'd never seen a red dragonfly. Zita and Ziggy were both "redheads" so I wondered if it had significance. I looked up the symbolism of dragonflies on the internet and found this wonderful story, which I will paste here:

"In the bottom of an old pond lived some grubs who could not understand why none of their group ever came back after crawling up the lily stems to the top of the water. They promised each other that the next one who was called to make the upward climb would return and tell what had happened to him. Soon one of them felt an urgent impulse to seek the surface; he rested himself on the top of a lily pad and went through a glorious transformation which made him a dragonfly with beautiful wings. In vain he tried to keep his promise. Flying back and forth over the pond, he peered down at his friends below. Then he realized that even if they could see him they would not recognize such a radiant creature as one of their number.

The fact that we cannot see our friends or communicate with them after the transformation which we call death is no proof that they cease to exist."

by Walter Dudley Cavert
Remember Now
© 1944, 1971

So you see Bubba - Willy is there and wanting you to know it, but he can't always make his presence known. This is where we have to have faith, and believe.... which I do. And that's what can give us strength to carry on.

Jan.

This is a dragonfly like the one that landed on me.

Click to view attachment

Thank you Jan, ever so so much. You have introduced us to the dragon fly, how special yours was, I have never seen a red one , just beautiful black & electric blue ones, how lovely the red one, it was so so special and appeared especially for you. Indeed orange cats are 'redheads' so it all fits so well. Was the message something like: Fear not, you will hit bottom and feel like you are stuck in the muck but know that you will grow and come out of this beautifully." I am glad that you know this.
May I share what I have just learned about dragon flies with those of you who are interested? :
Dragonflies are used by native people in ceremonies because the insect represents agility, quickness and a whirlwind quality that the warriors needed in battle and in life.A Dakota spiritual leader says that the dragonfly is a good omen and a sign of life. They bring visions during ceremonies, he said. They have the power of immortality and regeneration. Dragonflies and Damselflies are ancient. Fossil records say that they were here 300 million years ago.
The dragonfly symbolizes going past self-created illusions that limit our growing and changing. Dragonflies are a symbol of the sense of self that comes with maturity. They are fantastic flyers, darting like light, twisting, turning, changing direction, even going backwards as the need arises. They are inhabitants of two realms - starting with water, and moving to the air with maturity, but staying close to water. Some people who have the dragonfly as their totem have had emotional and passionate early years, but as they get older they achieve balance with mental clarity and control. They gain an expression of the emotional and mental together. To some Native Americans they are the souls of the dead. Faerie stories say that they used to be real dragons. http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qi...01074920AA1H86q

Dragonflies are reminders that we are light and can reflect the light in powerful ways if we choose to do so. "Let there be light" is the divine prompting to use the creative imagination as a force within your life. They help you to see through your illusions and allow your own light to shine in a new vision.

Life is never quite the way it appears, but is always filled with light and colorhttp://healing.about.com/cs/innerchild/a/innerchilddoll_2.htm


Dragonflies inhabit two realms – Water and Air. Take time to understand the significance of these two items.
If they are around you might need to look at some fresh Air in regard to something emotional. Change or metamorphosis might be in the making for you. Take a look at possible neglecting yourself and your emotions.

Their realm is the realm of light, and they are only out during the day.

If you are of this totem, spending time outside in the sun near fresh water sources will be beneficial for restoring and changing health conditions for the better.

Dragonflies magic is the power of light and all that has ever been associated with it.

TerryLee WHETSTONehttp://www.terrywhetstone.com/art/Dragonfly_Shaman.htm

Hi, Bubba

Just thinking of you and Willy...and our discussions.

Hugs in the New Year...may we find the peace we need.

Judy

Toonie, wow thank-you.

I will save all this information. The dragonfly is a special creature indeed, and was an excellent symbol for Ziggy. Very magical and I love the part where some native americans think they are souls of the dead.... that is amazing. She did give me a sign, a very special one... what a magical little girl, that Ziggy... I miss her so. She will stay in my heart forever and I do hope I'll be one of the lucky people that gets a reincarnated pet. I would love to have her and Zita back. Two lovely orange tabby souls, so so special...

thanks again for these meanings. I had never seen a red one before either, didn't even know there were red ones. So perhaps it really was a sent especially for me...

Jan.

OPPS :lol Sorry to have busted in on your thread Bubba, I too wish you and all of you the best for 2009, I think peace comes with good intentions. Bubba, I think that the dragonfly significance applies to you too, and this is why, through the dragonfly magic all this happened on your doorstep. Hope this intrusian was allright with you. May the dragonfly bring you the light that you seek.

Toonie-Howdee-----------Ah heck no intrusion here.Interesting info.........
All the best, Bubba....

Hey Judy--Hope all is well with you...........'Discussions' observed.......
Bubba.................

Hi, Bubba. How ya doing? I came by to share. Hope you don't mind since you and I appear to think quite a bit alike, share similar feelings as well as ... Let's just say "maladies" to be PC about it ... That's "politically correct" and not "personal computer" but I know I didn't need to tell you that ... Anyway here's what's going on and I'm wondering if you've experienced anything like this since you lost your precious Willy ...

First of all, it's really difficult to type all this cuz there are so many thoughts I want to blurt out all at the same time. So, I'll just begin with about an hour or so ago. I woke up from a nap. It was about 6:47 as I read from the digital clock and dark outside. Couldn't tell if it was morning or evening so I checked the TV and saw it was nighttime and still January 7, 2009.

Suddenly, I felt a sort of panic or shock. Still very functional. I did not hear or see Alex parrot. Ut oh. Ut oh. Tears coming now. I think that's a good thing though. I am feeling something. Whewww. Gonna try to continue and please let me know if you've had any similar feelings since Willy passed ...

It may or may not be different for you since you do have your wonderful wife, work and a life outside your home. Well, after waking, finding out it was night, feeling a "quiet panic" or what might be shock ... Then I felt like I'm feeling right this moment as I type this to you ... That I'm the only person on the planet. Where is my connection to everyone and every place on earth and in the universe that I practically always feel? Not feeling it.

Buddy dog wanted out and of course I let him out. He's back inside right now and I feel terribly guilty because he wanted to play when he came back inside and I just couldn't. I pet, hug, scratch and play with Buddy lots, too. He's on his spot on the sofa right now and appears just fine ... Not depressed as he has been a couple times or so in the past.

So, here's what we have so far: I woke at about 6:45, it was dark, I found it to be night and not morning, did let Buddy out but don't quite recall doing so since I felt that quiet panic, functional shock, did not see or hear Alex. Knew he was gone for real. Took my seizure medication for good measure just in case that was what might be coming on ...

Feeling alert. Far too alert. Coping mechanisms of "escape" not working right now. Okay, I'm gonna try something and think about Alex again to see what happens. Pausing to think about him ... Ut Oh! Oh No! Wait ... Wait ... Big time cry fest coming on. Wait. Can hear my heart beating in my right ear so know that blood pressure is rising. Gotta pause again and breathe ... Pausing ... Wiping away tears. Crying has stopped ...

Bubba, I know you have hypertension and take medication for your blood pressure. I'm wondering if your blood pressure shoots up at some of those times when you think about Willy and start bawling? Does it go so high that you hear your heart beating in one or both ears? Do you get the feeling on occasion either suddenly or gradually that you're completely alone and no one is out there? No connection with the rest of the world, other people, places, anything ... Nothingness ... Any of that? Please feel free not to share and you know I'll understand. You're my bud, ya know.

A really good bawling session might work wonders for me right now but I fear my BP shooting too high and stroking out. Hey, I ain't afraid to die and never have been. Both you and I can't wait for that Bus to come and take us to The Bridge.

Wait. That dang movie Paulie. Even before watching those clips which brought back a lot about Alex to me, I still keep wondering ... Is he really dead? I know he did not fly away as Ida the caregiver told Julia the home association property management lady. In the same breath practically, Ida told me that she gave Alex away and won't tell me where he is. She still sticks to that story with me to this day.

So, you see, I can't die yet. I have unfinished business. Can't allow myself the luxury of a good cathartic cry at this time because I really might stroke out and die. By the way, you do remember I have mini-strokes and have since I was in my 20's and possibly earlier. Their called TIA. Transient Ischemic Attack. Here's a link but you don't need to read it. They really are not serious.

Transient Ischemic Attack (TIA)

I'm just saying it could happen ... Me biting the big one from stroking out before I keep my promise to Alex by seeing that he gets earthly justice before I die. Know what I mean?

Anyway ... So is Alex really dead? Sold? What? Where? Why? Is he calling out to me, "Mama! Mama! Help me!" Yes, he would call out when he needed or felt he needed help.

Bubba, since you don't know much if anything about parrots, you also probably don't know about over bonding. I made a big, bad mistake. I didn't realize until it was too late what allowing Alex to over bond with me would cause. It's gosh awful! You see, if your parrot loses you, it will become depressed, grieve, stop talking, stop eating, get sick and will die from grief if they've over bonded with you. That's a fact, Jack.

Since I ignorantly allowed Alex to over bond with me, he would possibly and or probably be dead without me anyway. Let me give you a true example of what happened many years ago when my husband Kenny was alive. Oh, Alex loved him very much and Kenny adored Alex as well ...

Anyway, Alex always spoke appropriately saying "Hello" when Kenny or I would come home from work or wherever we had been even if one of us was already in the house, he would greet us when we walked inside the door saying "Hello" ... He said it on his own after learning what it meant. Also, whenever Kenny or I would go to walk out the door, Alex would either say "Bye Bye" or "Good Bye" but usually "Bye Bye!" Yes, he knew what that and hundreds of words and phrases really meant ... Used them all appropriately with just that one play phrase. He even initiated games and conversations ...

So, one time when I was very sick and had to be in the hospital for about two weeks, Kenny was still taking wonderful care of Alex in the mornings and evenings when he got home from work. Then came the day that Kenny picked me up and brought me home from the hospital. We both walked in the back door at the same time and there was Alex at his opened cage about 7 to 10 yards away, cage against the wall facing us as we entered from the back sliding glass door ...

OMG! Bubba, Alex stared at me and didn't say a word. I told him, "Hello, Alex! Hi, baby! I'm home." To Alex "home" meant his cage ... Where he lived ... So he knew the concept of "home" meaning where you live. Alex stayed so still. Didn't say a word. Started making a grunting type noise as though he was trying to talk. I just looked at him and said, "Alex, it's me. Mama. Are you okay? Are you okay? I'm home, Baby." Alex knew what "Okay" meant, too ...

Still staring at me, Alex was not even able to fly at that point in time although he had the capability. He used the ladder to walk down to the floor, walked across the floor to where Kenny and I were standing, climbed up my pants to my shirt and I cradled him in my arms like a baby. He still couldn't speak and kept making that small grunting noise as though he was trying. Bubba, it was like Alex was seeing a ghost. Since I was gone for two weeks, he probably thought I was dead. It took Alex a while to recover his shock but then was okay.

I never did think to ask Kenny how Alex behaved while I was gone, if he mourned, did he eat, did he talk ... Stuff like that. Since Kenny's gone, I can't ask him now. Sure wish I could.

Alex did speak with me on the telephone while I was at the hotel when my home was being fumigated. Each time I called to check up on Buddy dog, Styx kitty and Alex parrot ... Well, Alex knew I was alive and did talk to me on the phone. The last words I heard from him were, "I Love You! I Love You! I Love You!" Over and over and over.

Of course, remembering about what happened to Alex when I was away for so long a couple times, I was worried most about him getting depressed, grieving, getting sick and the like but knew that Buddy dog and Styx kitty would be fine for those three days.

So, was he given away? Sold? Sold as a pet or to a research lab for interspecies communication research? Man, that would have fetched those three monsters a pretty penny. Thousands of dollars. I address all those things on the first page of my thread.

If he was given away or sold, did he die from grief due to having over bonded with me? Is he calling out to me? Waiting for me to rescue him? Does he feel he's being punished and calling out, "I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!" Yes, he used that phrase to express remorse and sympathy. Yes, he always used that phrase appropriately along with all the others. Amazing, astounding, smart as heck creature. So many questions. No answers.

Okay, I've bugged you enough. Thanks so much for letting me share my feelings and fears. If you don't mind sharing what I asked you about Willy, I'd sure appreciate it. But, you know me well enough by now and can feel free to just say you'd rather not talk about it.

Again, thanks millions for letting me share on your thread. I am eternally grateful to you. You have no idea. Honest and for true. Thank you, Bubba!

Big Hugs to You, Your Wife, Willy, Lily and all the Gang!!!

Your Pal,
Dottie xoxoxox

PS. Please pardon all typos and if I repeated some stuff more than once or twice, skipped around in thought making it difficult to follow ... And so on.

PS. PS. Perhaps it's meant that I cry, stoke out and die so I can see Alex again. Perhaps that is one of God's gifts to me? I dunno. I'd sure like to see it in that way. You betcha! Thanks again a million times and more Hugs!!!

OK.........I have some ground to cover here and I hope I can give a thoughtful response.I have wondered alot about the whereabouts of Alex.More often than not,I have 'felt' (For whatever it is worth) that he is still around.I dunno why.As there is no substantial proof yet if that woman let him fly away or worse,Maybe it is just wishful thinking,but something tells me he is around.I wonder if your friend who is a cop could help you actively investigate starting with Ida.Maybe this has been done already.Since he is more mobile than you I was just thinking that maybe he could exert some influnce on her.The issue is you are stuck in the house and can't do it yourself.I am not being pitying here just wondering who you know with influence could be pro-active on your part.I just don't think the little guy is gone.My stubborness would need real proof.
If Ida is sticking to her story about giving Alex away then maybe you can go with that and try to think of somebody who can be REALLY persuavive and get her to cough up the story once and for all.Physical persuasion might be the answer.I really hope you can find someone to do this.

THEN YOU WILL KNOW.

Now for the panic-alone in the world feeling.Virtually every Sunday(although it happens on other days as well) I may be sitting in the room with my wife and Lily sitting 5 feet from me and I don't know what it is but I might as well be sitting on a mountain top all alone and I feel exactly the way you described.Vacant,nobody home.Like if I call somebody I know they will be bugged at me for being needy.And once in a while I do and I will have a great conversation with that person but as soon as I hang up,I slip back into that feeling that it is all over and why bother because the goodtimes are in the past and Everbody is having a great time somewhere else and I am not included.Keep in mind I am not alone here.Remember my girls are right here and I sit here literally cold and clammy and want my mommy back and everybody else........wacked? nuts? certifiable? functionally insane?
All the above.I don't know what it is but I know it scares the S*IT out of me at least once a week.Weekends are the worst.....Pee break(Jeopardy thinking music:dum dee dum da da dum dee da.......)
Ok I'm back
The Willy reaction is this:I don't think I get a panic attack but I do get this feeling when I am in full grieving missing him mode that maybe I won't really see him again and the awful space I get into as stated above will intensify and I get into an inner-yet out of control feeling of helplessness and like a bad dream it eats and eats at me till I just collapse and have to go asleep.Then I wake up and it is still there but at some point, maybe that day or the next or the next or,depending on the degree it has reached,days and days later.It really is near impossible to work but I have to show up and teach the kids or play a gig and I think I just function on sheer grit and fake my way through it.It is not a pretty picture but I have become a good actor I guess as nobody has ever said anything to me that I am appearing different.Maybe they are just being polite.You know that famous painting called 'The Scream'? That says it all.
I will say though that out of nowhere for no defined reason usually when I have to go someplace and function(and feeling just fine at that moment) I get that aura of the panic attacks that were so severe last year(before Willy died by the way) and I get a mild visit from the sucker.I does not go into full attack anymore but it feel like it wants to and I just sit there(frequently while I am driving,....Nice eh?) until it passes.Kind of like there is a 900 lb lion sitting in the passenger seat waing to devour me..........roll that one around in your head for a second..........I sort of wait for it to pass .Last year it would not pass and I had to send a sub to teach for me and subs to play my gigs.I literally.......(whoa!!!!Lily justv farted..........LillllLeeeee!!!!!!! oh man) could not speak,get off the couch or eat.......Those types are gone but the specter is still around.....haunting.....Ghosts,devils,creepy thoughts don't scare me........Bring em on.........But panic attacks??????? fahget about it...

I think I will check my B.P. the next time I have a Willy attack.I wonder if it does go up?
Overbonding??????? NO WAY.When you sit back and reflect, would you really want it any other way.Alex and Willy are the relationships gave our lives purpose and now that we have known that bond (WE HAVE TO KEEP THE BRIDGE THOUGHT ALIVE IN US EVEN WHEN THERE IS NO HOPE.JUST PUT IT ON HOLD TILL THE NEXT CRISES PASSES AS WE KNOW IT WILL TILL THE NEXT ONE AND IT WILL PASS TOO.THIS IS ALL WE HAVE) that is our private relationship that we have to share with no one.We were theirs and they were ours.EXCLUSIVELY.No one can take that away.So banish the thought.

I hope this stream of thoughts have helped I wish I had more but nothing is coming forth.
Always post back as we are friends in this virtual landscape and we should keep in touch.
Bubba...........

P.S. If you are up to it,any vibes on John W. ? ................only if you are up to it...........

It is late and my grammar and spelling really sucks tonight...........Sorry, Too pooped to pop..........Well, maybe a little pop!!!!!!.......My bad.
Bubba......................

Bubba,

Just a quick interjection here, to hopefully help you know you're perfectly normal. All those feelings/reactions you described? Same here, all except for actual panic attacks. However, I did used to get heart palpitations for a period, way back - checked out with a 24hr. EKG-type monitor - and it was all just due to being over-stressed. So I quit worrying about them and they naturally subsided in a few wks. Deep breathing helps, too, as everything starts with the breath. When we're grieving, or stressed in any other way, we tend to breath only very shallowly and that mucks everything up w/i our bodies, including our emotions.

But the rest of what you talked about? Grief, plain and simple, even though it may not seem like it. Well, maybe some depression mixed in, too, but that, too, is pretty common and I also had/have the same. The grief did soften in time and with grief work, though, enough to finally start functioning acceptably again, although still not at my old, optimum level. Not yet. Maybe not ever, for all I know. And my current depression stems from not just the continuing grief, but also from many other factors/situations around me (and my reactions to same), that are quite understandable as the cause, as well as the contributing and complicating factors to my grief. It's a maddening circle, where one feeds off the other. But grief itself is most certainly the hardest set of emotions we'll ever experience, so cut yourself a lot of slack and hold tight to the idea that it WILL get easier to manage in time and with an intention to heal at least the hardest parts.

And Dottie,

I can sure understand your worries about Alex. My last budgie (who was my best friend and had the run of the house as we grew up together) grieved and actually cried when I and my family went for a week-long trip when I was a child . I was 7 and didn't even know then that birds COULD cry. Heck, neither did my Mother. His eyes were wet and rimmed with red when we came to pick him up from where he'd been staying with my Mum's friend, I actually saw a tear run down his sweet cheek, and this woman said he'd barely even sung one note the whole time, even though he did keep eating. He only began softly chirping to me again once we were in the car heading home, with me sitting right beside him. Thus began my general life-choice to try and be uber-responsible for any such divine creatures under my care and in my heart.

So I've seen this effect in birds who love us so much. And yet, just as we love these beings as much as we do and it makes OUR lives so much richer and deeper because of it, I can't think of it as "over-bonding", but just plain but glorious loving. Many, if not all, beings experience grief when 'separated' from those they love, no matter who or what that other creature may be. It's inherent in ALL our natures to not like any form of "separation", because our souls all remember that we're NOT separate, from each other, or from anything.....and so any perceived form of separation can hurt. So maybe, no matter what else you might do, just keep talking (out loud or telepathically) to Alex and on some level, and no matter WHERE he may be, he'll hear your heart-talk and feel you still with him, still bonded in that love, no matter what.....because in the greater picture and truer levels, you CAN'T be separated and you simply AREN'T.