I am very new here as I just registered last night. I wrote a new topic post but now I can't find it on the site so I am trying again. My husband took our 2 little Schnoodles out for their morning walk on Monday and a few minutes later I got his frantic call. Our little girl had gotten off her leash, run into the street and was hit and killed by a car. We took her to the ER even though we knew she was gone. I can't remember ever being so hysterical in my life. I have cried and wailed for the last 4 days.
I am so glad I found this site last night and that all of you are out there. It is so lonely trying to go through this pain. My husband and I are not really able to talk much about it yet. I know he is replaying the scene in his head and always will. We have our little boy, her brother, and he is trying to figure out why everything has changed.
Friends have said we should think to the future about getting another dog but right now all I can think about is my Zoe and the fact that I will never hold her again or get those sweet kisses from her when I get home from work at night.
Full Version: Sudden Death Of My Little Girl
here is your first message: http://lightning-strike.com/forum/index.ph...amp;#entry62959
hope that helps!
hope that helps!
Dear Joanne
I am sorry to read about the sudden loss of your darling Zoe. This site is a wonderful place for support because it seems unless a person has experienced this awful grief, they cannot understand the indescribable physical and emotional experience. I am sure people mean well when they make suggestions like getting another dog but they do not understand the irreplaceable relationship that we have with our beloved pets cannot simply be reproduced by getting a "replacement".
Take care - My thoughts and prayers are with you and your husband at this difficult time. I hope that the happy memories you have of Zoe will help you both work through the grief and shock of your loss.
Margie
I am sorry to read about the sudden loss of your darling Zoe. This site is a wonderful place for support because it seems unless a person has experienced this awful grief, they cannot understand the indescribable physical and emotional experience. I am sure people mean well when they make suggestions like getting another dog but they do not understand the irreplaceable relationship that we have with our beloved pets cannot simply be reproduced by getting a "replacement".
Take care - My thoughts and prayers are with you and your husband at this difficult time. I hope that the happy memories you have of Zoe will help you both work through the grief and shock of your loss.
Margie
Hi, Joanne, please permit me to add my sincerest sympathies in the loss of your beloved Zoe. Losing a beloved companion is never easy regardless of the circumstances or how long we have been blessed with the privilege of their company. And a loss is even more painful when it is through tragic events.
Joanne, please know that this was a very unpredictable event that happened. Our furkids have a way of surprising us with what they can do, and most of the time it is with our delight. But then there are times such as eluding their leashes, collars, getting out of their fenced in yards, etc., that lead us to the deepest grief we will know during our earthly journey with them.
Clinical studies show that the mind "records" events in our lives, and unfortunately this includes traumatic events as well. The more traumatic the event is, the more fixated the mind becomes and the traumatic event is then re-played over and over and over again - - like a phonograph needle stuck in the groove of a vinyl record - - yes, I know, I grew up with what was then "modern" technology. This is a form of post-traumatic stress, and believe me when I say I do know what your husband must be going through right now - - for different reasons. Hopefully in time this will subside over the coming days, perhaps weeks. However, if your husband finds himself unable to re-focus his mind from that horrible tragedy, then he may need to seek professional medical assistance. This is not a sign of weakness of his part. Our brains are a combination of several different chemicals, and our brains are physically affected by the stress of traumatic events which can literally change the way our brains function. Our bodies have a wonderful way of healing itself, including our brains, but sometimes they need some help. Will he ever forget this horrible event? Probably not, but the goal is to have him focus his memories on the wonderful life he shared with Zoe BEFORE this horrible tragedy occurred. And I assure you, Joanne, this is what your precious Zoe wants for him, and for you. She wants you to remember her life with you with happiness in your hearts.
Joanne, this grief journey is one of the hardest experiences we will have during our earth journey. And yes, our beloved companions' housemates do mourn the physical loss as well. So, I know you and your husband are doing all you can to comfort your precious little boy, and that he is trying to be a source of comfort for you and your husband as well, particularly since he was there and also witnessed the events.
Clinical professionals have just recently begun to understand, and accept, that the grief journey of the physical loss of a beloved companion is the same as that for a human family member or friend. Unfortunately, our society in general, and sometimes specific people who are the closest to us, do not understand the depth of the love bond that we share with our beloved companions, and therefore do not accept the deep grief that we go through. Joanne, I promise you that each of us here do understand what you, your husband, and your precious little boy are going through, and we are here for all of you for as long and as often as you need us. Our beloved companions give to us their undivided attention and unconditional love, and we in turn surrender ourselves to them completely. When they precede us to the angels, they do take a part of us that belongs only to them so that they will have a part of us with them while they wait patiently for our appropriate time to join them in eternal joy. This is one of the many reasons why losing their physical presence is so very painful -- both emotionally and physically. Our lives change for the better when our beloved companions come into our lives, and they change again when they precede us to the angels. This time, however, we are blessed with their sweet Living Spirits forever in our hearts and memories, and nothing can ever take this away from us, because love is eternal, Joanne, - - it is not bound by the physical laws of time and space. Only you and your husband will know if, when, you are ready to embrace a new life into your hearts and home, and this is how it should be, Joanne.
Joanne, this grief journey is a one day at a time journey, sometimes a one moment at a time journey. There are so many ups, downs, twists, turns, and turnarounds - - sometimes overwhelming us at the same time. It is important that you and your husband physically release your deep grief for this will help both your hearts and bodies to heal. Scientific studies prove that our tears are healing tears because they release the toxins that build up in our bodies from the stress of grief. Some people think that if they suppress their grief that it will help to make their loss less painful. Clinical studies, however, show the opposite is true, for suppressed grief eventually causes both physical and emotional challenges that will inevitably need to be dealt with.
Joanne, thank you so much for sharing with us your precious Zoe. Perhaps in time you will feel up to posting picture(s) of her and sharing with us some of your wonderful memories. Please know you, your husband, and your precious little boy are in my thoughts and prayers, Joanne, and please do let us know how things are going whenever possible.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
Joanne, please know that this was a very unpredictable event that happened. Our furkids have a way of surprising us with what they can do, and most of the time it is with our delight. But then there are times such as eluding their leashes, collars, getting out of their fenced in yards, etc., that lead us to the deepest grief we will know during our earthly journey with them.
Clinical studies show that the mind "records" events in our lives, and unfortunately this includes traumatic events as well. The more traumatic the event is, the more fixated the mind becomes and the traumatic event is then re-played over and over and over again - - like a phonograph needle stuck in the groove of a vinyl record - - yes, I know, I grew up with what was then "modern" technology. This is a form of post-traumatic stress, and believe me when I say I do know what your husband must be going through right now - - for different reasons. Hopefully in time this will subside over the coming days, perhaps weeks. However, if your husband finds himself unable to re-focus his mind from that horrible tragedy, then he may need to seek professional medical assistance. This is not a sign of weakness of his part. Our brains are a combination of several different chemicals, and our brains are physically affected by the stress of traumatic events which can literally change the way our brains function. Our bodies have a wonderful way of healing itself, including our brains, but sometimes they need some help. Will he ever forget this horrible event? Probably not, but the goal is to have him focus his memories on the wonderful life he shared with Zoe BEFORE this horrible tragedy occurred. And I assure you, Joanne, this is what your precious Zoe wants for him, and for you. She wants you to remember her life with you with happiness in your hearts.
Joanne, this grief journey is one of the hardest experiences we will have during our earth journey. And yes, our beloved companions' housemates do mourn the physical loss as well. So, I know you and your husband are doing all you can to comfort your precious little boy, and that he is trying to be a source of comfort for you and your husband as well, particularly since he was there and also witnessed the events.
Clinical professionals have just recently begun to understand, and accept, that the grief journey of the physical loss of a beloved companion is the same as that for a human family member or friend. Unfortunately, our society in general, and sometimes specific people who are the closest to us, do not understand the depth of the love bond that we share with our beloved companions, and therefore do not accept the deep grief that we go through. Joanne, I promise you that each of us here do understand what you, your husband, and your precious little boy are going through, and we are here for all of you for as long and as often as you need us. Our beloved companions give to us their undivided attention and unconditional love, and we in turn surrender ourselves to them completely. When they precede us to the angels, they do take a part of us that belongs only to them so that they will have a part of us with them while they wait patiently for our appropriate time to join them in eternal joy. This is one of the many reasons why losing their physical presence is so very painful -- both emotionally and physically. Our lives change for the better when our beloved companions come into our lives, and they change again when they precede us to the angels. This time, however, we are blessed with their sweet Living Spirits forever in our hearts and memories, and nothing can ever take this away from us, because love is eternal, Joanne, - - it is not bound by the physical laws of time and space. Only you and your husband will know if, when, you are ready to embrace a new life into your hearts and home, and this is how it should be, Joanne.
Joanne, this grief journey is a one day at a time journey, sometimes a one moment at a time journey. There are so many ups, downs, twists, turns, and turnarounds - - sometimes overwhelming us at the same time. It is important that you and your husband physically release your deep grief for this will help both your hearts and bodies to heal. Scientific studies prove that our tears are healing tears because they release the toxins that build up in our bodies from the stress of grief. Some people think that if they suppress their grief that it will help to make their loss less painful. Clinical studies, however, show the opposite is true, for suppressed grief eventually causes both physical and emotional challenges that will inevitably need to be dealt with.
Joanne, thank you so much for sharing with us your precious Zoe. Perhaps in time you will feel up to posting picture(s) of her and sharing with us some of your wonderful memories. Please know you, your husband, and your precious little boy are in my thoughts and prayers, Joanne, and please do let us know how things are going whenever possible.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
Thank you for your quick responses. I really need all the help I can get right now. The animal hospital called my husband to say that Zoe's cremains were ready to be picked up but I asked him to wait until next week.
I just can't face it today. I am on new medications for my back and neck pain and willl start PT next week. I do know that the meds for the physical pain are also helping to dull the emotional pain but the pain will come back full force.
I am not seriously thinking of another dog at this point but the vet was surprised when I told her I would "never get another dog". Only time will tell if we and Zack, our boy Schnoodle, want another doggie companion.
I just can't face it today. I am on new medications for my back and neck pain and willl start PT next week. I do know that the meds for the physical pain are also helping to dull the emotional pain but the pain will come back full force.
I am not seriously thinking of another dog at this point but the vet was surprised when I told her I would "never get another dog". Only time will tell if we and Zack, our boy Schnoodle, want another doggie companion.
Joanne, bringing your Zoe's ashes back home does have two sides: on the one side it can be a relief to have our beloved companions back home, although not in the same way, while on the other side it is yet another blatant reminder that our beloved companions are no longer physically with us in the way we so desperately want them to be.
I am so sorry you are having pain in your back and neck. Many years ago I required intensive PT for serious injuries from an automobile collision, and had an excellent physical therapist. I still require the use of a cane, and occasionally my walker, but for the most part just looking at me one never would suspect the extent of my injuries. I hope your recovery will be successful, Joanne. Chronic pain is debilitating, and when you are coping with grief, it only adds to the burden of your heart.
When my Oslo joined the angels on Thanksgiving weekend 2009, many people asked me if I would ever get another canine companion. The vet techs, as compassionate as they are, just could not accept - - at first - - why my answer is "no." Joanne, this is a decision only you can make that is in both your and your precious Zack's best interest.
Joanne, thank you so much for letting us know how things are going for you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and will look forward to knowing how you're doing whenever possible.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
I am so sorry you are having pain in your back and neck. Many years ago I required intensive PT for serious injuries from an automobile collision, and had an excellent physical therapist. I still require the use of a cane, and occasionally my walker, but for the most part just looking at me one never would suspect the extent of my injuries. I hope your recovery will be successful, Joanne. Chronic pain is debilitating, and when you are coping with grief, it only adds to the burden of your heart.
When my Oslo joined the angels on Thanksgiving weekend 2009, many people asked me if I would ever get another canine companion. The vet techs, as compassionate as they are, just could not accept - - at first - - why my answer is "no." Joanne, this is a decision only you can make that is in both your and your precious Zack's best interest.
Joanne, thank you so much for letting us know how things are going for you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and will look forward to knowing how you're doing whenever possible.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
Need some advice about how to help my little boy dog, Zack, through this time of grief. He has gotten more sad looking as the week has gone on. He is eating and sleeping OK but I know he is aware that his sister is not here.
Hi, Joanne, as long as your little Zack is eating properly, drinking water normally, and is able to take care of his personal needs, these are all good signs. Emotionally, it's just going to take time for him to "adjust" to the physical absence of his sister. He and Zoe shared a canine "pack" - - like their wild wolf cousins. And now his sister is no longer a physical part of his family "pack."
When my number one kitty son Eli joined the angels in December 2006, my little Noah was very heartbroken. He grieved deeply for Eli. It was 2.5 years before he finally abandoned the comforter that Eli slept on, and I knew then it was okay for me to finally wash it. Noah's sibing sister, Abbygayle, joined the angels 10 months ago, and Noah still finds comfort in laying on her towel. So, if possible, perhaps keeping something that still has Zoe's scent on it available for Zack might be helpful to him. It may also be helpful if you could develop a special "new" routine with him.
Joanne, your little Zack just needs a lot of special love, attention, and reassurance that everything will be okay. I wish there was an easier way through this grief journey for the both of you.
Please know you and your precious Zack are close in my thoughts and prayers, Joanne, and please let us know how things are going.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
When my number one kitty son Eli joined the angels in December 2006, my little Noah was very heartbroken. He grieved deeply for Eli. It was 2.5 years before he finally abandoned the comforter that Eli slept on, and I knew then it was okay for me to finally wash it. Noah's sibing sister, Abbygayle, joined the angels 10 months ago, and Noah still finds comfort in laying on her towel. So, if possible, perhaps keeping something that still has Zoe's scent on it available for Zack might be helpful to him. It may also be helpful if you could develop a special "new" routine with him.
Joanne, your little Zack just needs a lot of special love, attention, and reassurance that everything will be okay. I wish there was an easier way through this grief journey for the both of you.
Please know you and your precious Zack are close in my thoughts and prayers, Joanne, and please let us know how things are going.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
Thank you so much for all of your support. Zack did seem to notice Zoe's scent on a blanket on our bed that she had slept on the night before she died last week. I am glad you suggested leaving it for him to sniff.
I have to return to work tomorrow as the doctor's note covered me until tomorrow. I have stopped the muscle relaxant because I am not safe driving or working after I have taken it. My back and neck still hurt but much better than last week. I know people at work will ask about our loss and I know I have to face at least a brief explanation. I worked with most of these people when we first got the puppies a little more than 3 years ago. Going to be another hard day tomorrow.
I will be back here tomorrow night but I have to get to bed early and try to get back into a routine. Won't be the same tomorrow night when I come in from work and Zoe is not jumping to greet me and lick me.
Thanks
Joanne
I have to return to work tomorrow as the doctor's note covered me until tomorrow. I have stopped the muscle relaxant because I am not safe driving or working after I have taken it. My back and neck still hurt but much better than last week. I know people at work will ask about our loss and I know I have to face at least a brief explanation. I worked with most of these people when we first got the puppies a little more than 3 years ago. Going to be another hard day tomorrow.
I will be back here tomorrow night but I have to get to bed early and try to get back into a routine. Won't be the same tomorrow night when I come in from work and Zoe is not jumping to greet me and lick me.
Thanks
Joanne
Joanne
My thoughts are with you as you return to work. It's not the same but I hope you and Zack can adapt to the absence of Zoe. Be kind to yourself - I only started this grief journey about 10 days before you and I have learned that each day and night is different. Whilst it is comforting to have another pet at home, it is challenging seeing them grieve as well. Take good care.
Margie
My thoughts are with you as you return to work. It's not the same but I hope you and Zack can adapt to the absence of Zoe. Be kind to yourself - I only started this grief journey about 10 days before you and I have learned that each day and night is different. Whilst it is comforting to have another pet at home, it is challenging seeing them grieve as well. Take good care.
Margie
Joanne, just stopping by to let you know you are in my thoughts and prayers today, and hope that today has been kind to you.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
Again I want to thank you all for your support. I really don't know how I would make it without you. My husband and I can only discuss this to a point since he was the one who put her leash on and was with her when she got off leash and was killed.
I did go back to work today and got a hug and support from my boss. She is a cat lover and has experienced the death of a pet. I only told a few of my coworkers and only the ones who are pet owners and lovers. I am not ready to deal with people who would wonder what I am so upset about as "she was just a dog". We all know she was like my child to me. I did cry much of the way home knowing she would not be here to greet me when I walked in the door. Zack is still acting puzzled by her absence and clinging to either my husband or myself. He does occasionally go off by himself but then comes back to check on us. I know he does not understand where his sister went.
Snow and ice here tonight so I will most likely be going into work late tomorrow and having to deal with weather issues. Will have to really concentrate on the roads and not my pain. I just still can't believe she is gone for good except in my memories. Sooo hard.
Joanne
I did go back to work today and got a hug and support from my boss. She is a cat lover and has experienced the death of a pet. I only told a few of my coworkers and only the ones who are pet owners and lovers. I am not ready to deal with people who would wonder what I am so upset about as "she was just a dog". We all know she was like my child to me. I did cry much of the way home knowing she would not be here to greet me when I walked in the door. Zack is still acting puzzled by her absence and clinging to either my husband or myself. He does occasionally go off by himself but then comes back to check on us. I know he does not understand where his sister went.
Snow and ice here tonight so I will most likely be going into work late tomorrow and having to deal with weather issues. Will have to really concentrate on the roads and not my pain. I just still can't believe she is gone for good except in my memories. Sooo hard.
Joanne
Hi Joanne
I agree that grieving is very hard. In fact, it's almost a state of shock we find ourselves in...unable to fathom the reality of the situation. Therefore, I think it is important to ground ourselves in as much reality as possible whenever we feel fit for it. Since Bruno passed away, I've felt like I'm floating with my head stuck in a horrible thunderous cloud with no handle on my everyday existence. I still haven't seen my friends since Bruno got ill at the end of November. Only now I'm realizing I will need to make a concerted effort to get out and about again, because by getting out I'll be able to chat to my friends and share my story. Talking and sharing, as you know, helps us with our healing and coming to terms with the shock of our loss.
That's great that you got a hug and support from your boss on your first day back. It gives me great heart to hear of loving and considerate people in our world. I hope the weather doesn't hinder you too much and that you have a safe journey.
Take care
Peter
I agree that grieving is very hard. In fact, it's almost a state of shock we find ourselves in...unable to fathom the reality of the situation. Therefore, I think it is important to ground ourselves in as much reality as possible whenever we feel fit for it. Since Bruno passed away, I've felt like I'm floating with my head stuck in a horrible thunderous cloud with no handle on my everyday existence. I still haven't seen my friends since Bruno got ill at the end of November. Only now I'm realizing I will need to make a concerted effort to get out and about again, because by getting out I'll be able to chat to my friends and share my story. Talking and sharing, as you know, helps us with our healing and coming to terms with the shock of our loss.
That's great that you got a hug and support from your boss on your first day back. It gives me great heart to hear of loving and considerate people in our world. I hope the weather doesn't hinder you too much and that you have a safe journey.
Take care
Peter
Hi, Joanne, just adding my heartfelt thoughts to Peter's. I'm glad that your first day back to work was okay, and that you have some supportive people there to comfort you as well. Peter is so right about the shock of grief. This is the mind's and body's protective mechanism to keep us from being overwhelmed all at once - - it helps us to process our grief in stages when we're able to. Particularly during the first month or so we seem to function on what I call "automatic pilot" - - things get done, bills get paid, we go to work, chores get done, etc., but it seems as though we're not really a part of the daily routines -- sort of like an out of body experience - - looking down on our "life" but not feeling connected to it. And it's because we aren't connected to it - - because the life we have known is now permanently changed - - and sorrowfully so because we are now faced with the reality of having to adjust our lives to the physical absence of our beloved companions. It never ceases to amaze me how "life goes on" without skipping a beat - - when in reality our lives as we have so joyfully known them have crashed and our hearts are broken with the deepest sorrow we will know.
Joanne, your little Zack will probably look for Zoe for awhile, and perhaps in some way he may sense her sweet Living Spirit. Their intuitive senses are far more advanced than ours. When my number one kitty son, Eli, joined the angels, my Noah would look high and low for him - - when he was outside on his tether he would go to every spot he and Eli would spend time together, and would go upstairs and look for him. It really broke my heart. Last spring when I was outside raking leaves I let Noah out on his tether to get some fresh air in his lungs and sunshine on his face, and to share time with me in the yard. He and Noah and Abbygayle could hardly wait to get outside on their tethers on the nice days, and would spend HOURS outside together - - for we have a very nice wooded lot with the squirrels and birds and rabbits coming to visit. The squirrels learned how far their tethers would reach, and would tease the heck out of them just staying beyond the reach of their tethers when they would chase the squirrels, and I would hear the squirrels literally laughing at them. Well, anyway, last spring Noah visited each place that he spent time with Eli and Abbygayle, and then came back inside the house and stayed. He no longer has any interest in being outside on this tether. So now he is an indoor kitty and on the nice weather days I open the big basement living quarters door and gate it off so that he can hear the squirrels and birds and other woodland critters and get some fresh air in his lungs. He seems to be content with that.
So, the point of sharing all of this with you is that Zack is also "adjusting" to the physical absence of his sister, but he will be okay with the extra T L C you and your husband are giving him. It's just going to take time.
I hope your commute this morning was okay. I live in the Blue Ridge / Piedmont Mountain region of south central Virginia, and we too had a weather advisory for a slippery drive this morning into work. Where I live in Franklin County it wasn't too bad. The good part is that the schools were closed for some sort of teacher work day or something like that, so we didn't have school buses added to the mix, which was good for the students and the school system didn't have to flip a coin wondering what the weather was actually going to do. As I'm writing to you now the sun is out and the temperatures have warmed in to the mid-40's - - still a bit cool but it's nice to see the sun shining.
Joanne, thank you so much for sharing with us how your day was yesterday, and I hope that today is being kind to you. Please know you, your husband, and Zack are close in my thoughts and prayers, and I will look forward to knowing how you're doing whenever possible.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
Joanne, your little Zack will probably look for Zoe for awhile, and perhaps in some way he may sense her sweet Living Spirit. Their intuitive senses are far more advanced than ours. When my number one kitty son, Eli, joined the angels, my Noah would look high and low for him - - when he was outside on his tether he would go to every spot he and Eli would spend time together, and would go upstairs and look for him. It really broke my heart. Last spring when I was outside raking leaves I let Noah out on his tether to get some fresh air in his lungs and sunshine on his face, and to share time with me in the yard. He and Noah and Abbygayle could hardly wait to get outside on their tethers on the nice days, and would spend HOURS outside together - - for we have a very nice wooded lot with the squirrels and birds and rabbits coming to visit. The squirrels learned how far their tethers would reach, and would tease the heck out of them just staying beyond the reach of their tethers when they would chase the squirrels, and I would hear the squirrels literally laughing at them. Well, anyway, last spring Noah visited each place that he spent time with Eli and Abbygayle, and then came back inside the house and stayed. He no longer has any interest in being outside on this tether. So now he is an indoor kitty and on the nice weather days I open the big basement living quarters door and gate it off so that he can hear the squirrels and birds and other woodland critters and get some fresh air in his lungs. He seems to be content with that.
So, the point of sharing all of this with you is that Zack is also "adjusting" to the physical absence of his sister, but he will be okay with the extra T L C you and your husband are giving him. It's just going to take time.
I hope your commute this morning was okay. I live in the Blue Ridge / Piedmont Mountain region of south central Virginia, and we too had a weather advisory for a slippery drive this morning into work. Where I live in Franklin County it wasn't too bad. The good part is that the schools were closed for some sort of teacher work day or something like that, so we didn't have school buses added to the mix, which was good for the students and the school system didn't have to flip a coin wondering what the weather was actually going to do. As I'm writing to you now the sun is out and the temperatures have warmed in to the mid-40's - - still a bit cool but it's nice to see the sun shining.
Joanne, thank you so much for sharing with us how your day was yesterday, and I hope that today is being kind to you. Please know you, your husband, and Zack are close in my thoughts and prayers, and I will look forward to knowing how you're doing whenever possible.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
Need to write to you tonight. I did OK at work today. Did not cry while I was there but once I got in the car to drive home I cried so hard I made myself sick. I got dizzy but had no place to pull over because I was on the 6 lane highways that I commute to work each day. I just kept telling myself that I could not pass out or I would be joining Zoe and I am really not ready for that.
It is true the grief can really make us sick. My husband picked up Zoe's ashes today and I told him where I wanted to keep them but I can't look at the box. I know I will one day soon but it is not the right time for me.
I was very glad our office opened 2 hrs late today due to the snow and ice. I commute approximately 1 hr each way to get to and from work. It gets dark so early now I am driving home in the dark. I usually listen to audio books on the commute but I am having problems concentrating because when I am alone in the car it really hits me hard that Zoe is gone for good.
Joanne
It is true the grief can really make us sick. My husband picked up Zoe's ashes today and I told him where I wanted to keep them but I can't look at the box. I know I will one day soon but it is not the right time for me.
I was very glad our office opened 2 hrs late today due to the snow and ice. I commute approximately 1 hr each way to get to and from work. It gets dark so early now I am driving home in the dark. I usually listen to audio books on the commute but I am having problems concentrating because when I am alone in the car it really hits me hard that Zoe is gone for good.
Joanne
Hi, Joanne. Bringing home the ashes of our beloved companions can be very comforting, but it is also another confirmation that they are not physically with us the way our hearts long and ache for them to be.
I know what it's like to need to just release all the emotions that have been pinned up during the day at work, and it's not like we have any control right now when we just need to let them out. I remember thinking I needed wiper blades for my eyes while I was driving.
Joanne, thank you so much for sharing with us how things are going for you. I hope today has been a peaceful one for you, and that your travels will be safe and uneventful. Please know you are in my thougths and prayers, Joanne, and will look forward to knowing you're doing whenever possible.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
I know what it's like to need to just release all the emotions that have been pinned up during the day at work, and it's not like we have any control right now when we just need to let them out. I remember thinking I needed wiper blades for my eyes while I was driving.
Joanne, thank you so much for sharing with us how things are going for you. I hope today has been a peaceful one for you, and that your travels will be safe and uneventful. Please know you are in my thougths and prayers, Joanne, and will look forward to knowing you're doing whenever possible.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
Hi Joanne
Has the weather improved for you at all? There's something mind-numbing, I found recently, about being so upset and visually seeing all this snow and ice around us. December was horrendous in Northern Ireland with our worst snow for decades, and Bruno was ill throughout. What I would say about this is that it might be advantageous to our grieving...because once the snow and ice thaws and disappears you get the sense that you are moving on and no longer stuck in that freezing sad place. I'm rambling, but I think this is how the heavy snow we had in Northern Ireland has affected me. Now when I look in the garden I see little birds and sunshine rays through the branches. When the snow was here I felt tremendous gloom and misery and frustration. Anyway, I hope that when the weather improves where you are it might help lessen your burden a little.
Thinking of you. Take it as easy as you can.
Peter
Has the weather improved for you at all? There's something mind-numbing, I found recently, about being so upset and visually seeing all this snow and ice around us. December was horrendous in Northern Ireland with our worst snow for decades, and Bruno was ill throughout. What I would say about this is that it might be advantageous to our grieving...because once the snow and ice thaws and disappears you get the sense that you are moving on and no longer stuck in that freezing sad place. I'm rambling, but I think this is how the heavy snow we had in Northern Ireland has affected me. Now when I look in the garden I see little birds and sunshine rays through the branches. When the snow was here I felt tremendous gloom and misery and frustration. Anyway, I hope that when the weather improves where you are it might help lessen your burden a little.
Thinking of you. Take it as easy as you can.
Peter
I have been hoping for a heavy snow but all we get are dribs and drabs. I just want to be in a cocoon.
Today was a really tough day at work and since it helps me to write to you I will put down some of my feelings. I was so sad all day and it was hitting me all over again that Zoe is gone.
I could not sleep last night and had visions and dreams about her all night. I keep seeing her wagging tail, happy face and cute little rear when she sat down to get comfortable. I just miss her so much the pain is unbelievable.Zack went to the groomer today for the first time without his sister. I don't love the cut she gave him but he is perking up. He was not happy with it either when he first came home. I just know he realized that Zoe was not with him and that something was wrong.
Supposed to have light snow tonight and I am hoping for a late opening at work just to cut the number of hours that I have to try to concentrate there. Hoping also for some sleep tonight. This is one of the hardest experiences of my life.
Today was a really tough day at work and since it helps me to write to you I will put down some of my feelings. I was so sad all day and it was hitting me all over again that Zoe is gone.
I could not sleep last night and had visions and dreams about her all night. I keep seeing her wagging tail, happy face and cute little rear when she sat down to get comfortable. I just miss her so much the pain is unbelievable.Zack went to the groomer today for the first time without his sister. I don't love the cut she gave him but he is perking up. He was not happy with it either when he first came home. I just know he realized that Zoe was not with him and that something was wrong.
Supposed to have light snow tonight and I am hoping for a late opening at work just to cut the number of hours that I have to try to concentrate there. Hoping also for some sleep tonight. This is one of the hardest experiences of my life.
QUOTE (JoanneL @ Jan 13 2011, 11:48 PM) 
I am very new here as I just registered last night. I wrote a new topic post but now I can't find it on the site so I am trying again. My husband took our 2 little Schnoodles out for their morning walk on Monday and a few minutes later I got his frantic call. Our little girl had gotten off her leash, run into the street and was hit and killed by a car. We took her to the ER even though we knew she was gone. I can't remember ever being so hysterical in my life. I have cried and wailed for the last 4 days.
I am so glad I found this site last night and that all of you are out there. It is so lonely trying to go through this pain. My husband and I are not really able to talk much about it yet. I know he is replaying the scene in his head and always will. We have our little boy, her brother, and he is trying to figure out why everything has changed.
Friends have said we should think to the future about getting another dog but right now all I can think about is my Zoe and the fact that I will never hold her again or get those sweet kisses from her when I get home from work at night.
I am also new here, and haven't quite figured out how the whole post thing works either. I am so sorry for ur loss. I also lost a pet this week. I had to make the decision to have my kitty cat euthanized, and now I just feel as though I made the wrong decision. I can't get him out of my head. I don't think I will ever get over this. I am so glad I found this site last night and that all of you are out there. It is so lonely trying to go through this pain. My husband and I are not really able to talk much about it yet. I know he is replaying the scene in his head and always will. We have our little boy, her brother, and he is trying to figure out why everything has changed.
Friends have said we should think to the future about getting another dog but right now all I can think about is my Zoe and the fact that I will never hold her again or get those sweet kisses from her when I get home from work at night.
Hey,
Thanks for your response to my post. I just read yours. PHUCK! It makes me sick to think about how Zoe went. Please tell your husband not to get lost in any guilt he may feel. No one's fault, it just happened. I'm sure Zack misses his best friend, like Moonbeam said, our little loved ones see, sense, hear and feel things that we don't. I've read lots of stuff about animals and I believe that they too, grieve. I have Kota's ashes on a shelf by her picture. I've spread most of her ashes and want to spread the rest, when I'm up to it. For some people the ashes are a cherished connection to their lost companions. For me they are now just a sore reminder of the physical entity that is no longer with me, and I don't want the ashes anymore. But for you, you will figure out what they mean to you. Like you said about pulling over and crying on the highway...I get home late at night and am in tears before I put the key in the door.
I've read a couple books by an author who writes about his dogs. Jon Katz, A Dog Year, brought me to tears, but somewhere in the back of my mind, after reading the book, it gave me a little sense of "maybe someday it'll be OK to get another dog." Not now though, and for you I feel the loss is way too fresh, way too painful, and as you said, way too unbearable. It's worse than losing a loved human friend or family member. Don't force conversation about Zoe, between you and your husband, just accept that each of you will grieve in your own way. Hug Zack a little closer than usual, pamper him, talk to him about Zoe, give him extra treats and love...just because he exists for you. I've forced myself to do so many things since I lost Kota, but my heart and mind are always thinking of her. The loss is too close for you to HAVE to make yourself get out and about, or to have to censor yourself from talking about it with friends or family. Nobody else can ever know the love you had for Zoe, thus they can never really know what it is you need now. You may not even know what you need. I wish you some peace of mind in the near future, even for just a minute if that's all there is, for now. My thoughts and heart go out to you, your husband and Zack.
Dennis
Thanks for your response to my post. I just read yours. PHUCK! It makes me sick to think about how Zoe went. Please tell your husband not to get lost in any guilt he may feel. No one's fault, it just happened. I'm sure Zack misses his best friend, like Moonbeam said, our little loved ones see, sense, hear and feel things that we don't. I've read lots of stuff about animals and I believe that they too, grieve. I have Kota's ashes on a shelf by her picture. I've spread most of her ashes and want to spread the rest, when I'm up to it. For some people the ashes are a cherished connection to their lost companions. For me they are now just a sore reminder of the physical entity that is no longer with me, and I don't want the ashes anymore. But for you, you will figure out what they mean to you. Like you said about pulling over and crying on the highway...I get home late at night and am in tears before I put the key in the door.
I've read a couple books by an author who writes about his dogs. Jon Katz, A Dog Year, brought me to tears, but somewhere in the back of my mind, after reading the book, it gave me a little sense of "maybe someday it'll be OK to get another dog." Not now though, and for you I feel the loss is way too fresh, way too painful, and as you said, way too unbearable. It's worse than losing a loved human friend or family member. Don't force conversation about Zoe, between you and your husband, just accept that each of you will grieve in your own way. Hug Zack a little closer than usual, pamper him, talk to him about Zoe, give him extra treats and love...just because he exists for you. I've forced myself to do so many things since I lost Kota, but my heart and mind are always thinking of her. The loss is too close for you to HAVE to make yourself get out and about, or to have to censor yourself from talking about it with friends or family. Nobody else can ever know the love you had for Zoe, thus they can never really know what it is you need now. You may not even know what you need. I wish you some peace of mind in the near future, even for just a minute if that's all there is, for now. My thoughts and heart go out to you, your husband and Zack.
Dennis
Had a bad day today. Ran into a few people I had not seen since Zoe died almost 2 weeks ago now. Cried off and on all day. Stopped into PetSmart for a new Fleece jacket for Zack and found out the Feb 11-13 is National Pet Adoption Day at PetSmart. Started me thinking about a rescue and looked at some pictures online. Then I went to the site for the breeder who bred my babies had a new litter of miniature Schnauzers but my husband and I don't really want that breed. What I want is Zoe back and that cannot happen. We will continue our journey in grief one day at a time.
Thanks for all of the support.
Joanne
Thanks for all of the support.
Joanne
Hi, Joanne, I'm so sorry that yesterday was a hard one for you. I hope today has been a better day. I can so relate to your considering adopting another furchild. Knowing that there are precious furkids needing loving homes tugs at our heartstrings, even when our hearts are deeply missing our beloveds who are with the angels. This is a very personal decision, Joanne, and only you and your husband will know when it's the "right" time - - when, if that time comes.
It is a privilege to offer you support and encouragement, Joanne. We are here for each other and it is through each other that we find hope and comfort and the strength to face another day, endure through the difficult times, and embrace our memories - - even when our hearts are shattered with grief, aching to be able to hold our precious companions one more time.
Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Joanne, and look forward to knowing how you're doing whenever possible.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
It is a privilege to offer you support and encouragement, Joanne. We are here for each other and it is through each other that we find hope and comfort and the strength to face another day, endure through the difficult times, and embrace our memories - - even when our hearts are shattered with grief, aching to be able to hold our precious companions one more time.
Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Joanne, and look forward to knowing how you're doing whenever possible.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
MoonBeam-thank you so much for all of your support, and to everyone else here. I know I will be visiting this site for a long time to come. I am still crying day and night over the sudden loss of my little Zoe.
I have been checking my breeder's site from time to time just to keep up with her and the puppies she is breeding. I checked the site today and found she has a new litter of miniature Schnauzers. No one will ever take the place in my heart that Zoe holds but I have extra room for another fur baby and have decided to buy another puppy from the breeder. As luck would have it all of her girls are sold and that may be for the best. We will get a boy of a different color so we will not see Zoe when we look at him. Zack is doing much better but my husband and I are not. I really believe my husband needs another dog to care for now, not in a year.
I spoke with my vet tonight and she thought it was a good idea, keeping in mind that she is only supporting my needs. Family were not supportive when we got the puppies 3 years ago and most think we are crazy but I can't worry what they think. I have the charm bracelets that are so popular now with the removable charms-Pandora, Camilia, Troll. I went a bought a silver charm today to represent Zoe. I felt really good about it and knew it was something I could do today to bring some pleasure into a day of many tears.
I hope you can understand my need to start caring for a new little life and to give Zack another companion. He has been with another dog for his whole life except for the past 2 wks.
Joanne
I have been checking my breeder's site from time to time just to keep up with her and the puppies she is breeding. I checked the site today and found she has a new litter of miniature Schnauzers. No one will ever take the place in my heart that Zoe holds but I have extra room for another fur baby and have decided to buy another puppy from the breeder. As luck would have it all of her girls are sold and that may be for the best. We will get a boy of a different color so we will not see Zoe when we look at him. Zack is doing much better but my husband and I are not. I really believe my husband needs another dog to care for now, not in a year.
I spoke with my vet tonight and she thought it was a good idea, keeping in mind that she is only supporting my needs. Family were not supportive when we got the puppies 3 years ago and most think we are crazy but I can't worry what they think. I have the charm bracelets that are so popular now with the removable charms-Pandora, Camilia, Troll. I went a bought a silver charm today to represent Zoe. I felt really good about it and knew it was something I could do today to bring some pleasure into a day of many tears.
I hope you can understand my need to start caring for a new little life and to give Zack another companion. He has been with another dog for his whole life except for the past 2 wks.
Joanne
Hi, Joanne, thank you so o o o much for letting us know how you're doing today. The charm for Zoe for your bracelet sounds so wonderful, and that it already is bringing comfort to your heart. And I'm so excited for you and your husband on your adoption of a new little furchild. It is so important that you and your husband do what is best for you and Zack. When will your new furchild come home with you? Please know we will look forward to seeing pictures of your new baby boy whenever possible. Wish I could send you some blue booties in celebration of your new furchild. I know your precious Zoe will always have her own place in your hearts and your lives, and I firmly believe she is smiling in full support of welcoming a new furchild into your hearts and home. Whatever anyone else thinks is irrelevant - - particularly when it's totally non-supportive.
I read your post to Christina about your back, and I'm so sorry that you are victimized by chronic pain. You mentioned it is a result of an automobile collision 2 years ago. I hope that you are able to get relief from the pain, Joanne. I know what it's like to be in chronic pain, and it does take its toll on both the body and mind. And with the added stress of grief, it just adds to making everything feel totally unbearable.
Joanne, thank you again so much for sharing with us how you, your husband, and your precious Zack are doing. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and I will look forward to knowing how things are going for you whenever possible.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
I read your post to Christina about your back, and I'm so sorry that you are victimized by chronic pain. You mentioned it is a result of an automobile collision 2 years ago. I hope that you are able to get relief from the pain, Joanne. I know what it's like to be in chronic pain, and it does take its toll on both the body and mind. And with the added stress of grief, it just adds to making everything feel totally unbearable.
Joanne, thank you again so much for sharing with us how you, your husband, and your precious Zack are doing. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and I will look forward to knowing how things are going for you whenever possible.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
Thanks again so much for all of your support. My pain has been terrible today. I was supposed to start physical therapy but did not have the time to take from work. I am going to try to work it out for Feb.
I am still crying off and on day and night and missing Zoe so much sometimes I think I won't ever stop crying for her. Now the added emotion of looking forward to a new baby boy. Zack may not know he needs company but I think once this little guy gets big enough, Zack will like having another dog companion to play with.
Can't stay long tonight as they are calling for snow here tomorrow and I work 1 hr from my house so I have to try to sleep tonight.
I will be back tomorrow.
Joanne
I am still crying off and on day and night and missing Zoe so much sometimes I think I won't ever stop crying for her. Now the added emotion of looking forward to a new baby boy. Zack may not know he needs company but I think once this little guy gets big enough, Zack will like having another dog companion to play with.
Can't stay long tonight as they are calling for snow here tomorrow and I work 1 hr from my house so I have to try to sleep tonight.
I will be back tomorrow.
Joanne
Joanne
There is no wrong decision, no required time for waiting to get another pet, no betrayal of your Zoe, just you and your husband and Zac moving along. As Robert Frost said, "Everything I've ever learned in life can be summed up in three words...
...It Goes On
I can only imagine, actually know exactly the unbearable emptiness that comes with the sobbing and missing. For a moment, treat yourself the way you treated Zoe. Peace to all of you
Dennis
There is no wrong decision, no required time for waiting to get another pet, no betrayal of your Zoe, just you and your husband and Zac moving along. As Robert Frost said, "Everything I've ever learned in life can be summed up in three words...
...It Goes On
I can only imagine, actually know exactly the unbearable emptiness that comes with the sobbing and missing. For a moment, treat yourself the way you treated Zoe. Peace to all of you
Dennis
oh, joanne, i am so sorry for the loss of your zoe!
my father died when i was 16 (22 years ago) in a motorcycle accident, and i know how hard it is to find closure and peace without a goodbye or time to try to prepare yourself (not that you can ever really prepare yourself). i hope that you and your husband have been able to begin grieving together, instead of just under the same roof and i am glad that you found this forum. having you here has helped me.
thank you!
my father died when i was 16 (22 years ago) in a motorcycle accident, and i know how hard it is to find closure and peace without a goodbye or time to try to prepare yourself (not that you can ever really prepare yourself). i hope that you and your husband have been able to begin grieving together, instead of just under the same roof and i am glad that you found this forum. having you here has helped me.
thank you!
Joanne,
I come here often but do not comment much anymore. Your decision to get a new puppy is evidently what is right for your family otherwise you would not have been searching and found just what the three of you need.
In May of 2008 a little dog adopted us and I was not ready to take in another pet.... at least that is what I thought. My beautiful Poodle was 17 & I knew that I most likely did not have a lot of time left with her. She had been through much and even the Vets were amazed at her spirit & ability to overcome everything thrown at her little body. Since she took much care I told my husband we would take this little stray as long as he understood she was "his" dog because my first obligation was to Flossie. I really didn't want anymore dogs (or cats either for that matter).
Long story short, WeeBee is still my husband's dog..... she has been waiting outside in 25-30 degree weather for 6 hours now for him to return from a trip out of town for the day..... she is NOTHING like my Flossie but brings joy to our family every day. A stray on the streets of a small town in Montana is grateful for her home and we are grateful for her being in our home.
I miss my Flossie everyday but I do not cry everyday anymore but almost always when I come here and read the posts of those like you who are where I have been. I never seem to have the comforting words like moon-beam who is a wonderful part of this forum and has the absolute best advise as well as a keen sense of exactly what to say to those of us in such deep pain.
You will not regret having a new fur baby to add to your family. Ignore whoever is telling you it is not time. The time frame is a personal choice that only you can decide.
I come here often but do not comment much anymore. Your decision to get a new puppy is evidently what is right for your family otherwise you would not have been searching and found just what the three of you need.
In May of 2008 a little dog adopted us and I was not ready to take in another pet.... at least that is what I thought. My beautiful Poodle was 17 & I knew that I most likely did not have a lot of time left with her. She had been through much and even the Vets were amazed at her spirit & ability to overcome everything thrown at her little body. Since she took much care I told my husband we would take this little stray as long as he understood she was "his" dog because my first obligation was to Flossie. I really didn't want anymore dogs (or cats either for that matter).
Long story short, WeeBee is still my husband's dog..... she has been waiting outside in 25-30 degree weather for 6 hours now for him to return from a trip out of town for the day..... she is NOTHING like my Flossie but brings joy to our family every day. A stray on the streets of a small town in Montana is grateful for her home and we are grateful for her being in our home.
I miss my Flossie everyday but I do not cry everyday anymore but almost always when I come here and read the posts of those like you who are where I have been. I never seem to have the comforting words like moon-beam who is a wonderful part of this forum and has the absolute best advise as well as a keen sense of exactly what to say to those of us in such deep pain.
You will not regret having a new fur baby to add to your family. Ignore whoever is telling you it is not time. The time frame is a personal choice that only you can decide.
Dani and Flossie's mom
thank you both for your words of comfort and support. I am still crying off and on day and night mixed with the joy and anticipation of a new little life coming to live with us. It is a roller coaster of emotions. I feel comforted that we are getting the new little boy (no idea what to name him) from the same breeder who bred Zoe and Zack but different parents. He will not look anything like my baby girl. I know it would not be fair to a new baby to compare him to Zoe.
I am so exhausted after being stranded last night in the snow storm that hit us but needed to come here before going back to bed for a nap.
I may be back later but falling asleep now.
Jo
thank you both for your words of comfort and support. I am still crying off and on day and night mixed with the joy and anticipation of a new little life coming to live with us. It is a roller coaster of emotions. I feel comforted that we are getting the new little boy (no idea what to name him) from the same breeder who bred Zoe and Zack but different parents. He will not look anything like my baby girl. I know it would not be fair to a new baby to compare him to Zoe.
I am so exhausted after being stranded last night in the snow storm that hit us but needed to come here before going back to bed for a nap.
I may be back later but falling asleep now.
Jo
Hi, Joanne, I am so sorry for the stress you are under in addition to adjusting to the physical absence of your precious Zoe. I hope you weren't stranded long in the storm - - that can be very frightening. And I'm sorry about your not being able to start physical therapy. I hope you will be able to work that into your schedule for it is important for your health.
I know it seems like the tears will never stop, like you will never be able to think of your precious Zoe without the deep sorrow in your heart. I promise you, Joanne, that someday - - when you least expect it - - you will be able to think of your precious Zoe and find yourself smiling - - maybe a mist in your eyes and a little quiver to your chin, but also filled with the joy of the earthly journey you shared together, and feeling the warmth of her sweet Living Spirit forever with you. There will still be days when you ache to hold her again, - - that's part of the reality of not having her sweet physical body here with you. But I promise you, Joanne, the overwhelming sorrow will ease - - in time, one day at a time - - slowly but surely. There just isn't any easy way through this grief journey, Joanne. If there were I would surely tell you (and everyone else who comes here) how to do it so that your heart would not have to go through this painful, sorrowful emotional roller coaster.
The most important thing is for you and your husband to focus on what brings comfort to you both and to Zack. And to know that each of us are here for you, with you, and beside you, Joanne.
Thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing, Joanne. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I look forward to knowing how things are going whenever possible.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
I know it seems like the tears will never stop, like you will never be able to think of your precious Zoe without the deep sorrow in your heart. I promise you, Joanne, that someday - - when you least expect it - - you will be able to think of your precious Zoe and find yourself smiling - - maybe a mist in your eyes and a little quiver to your chin, but also filled with the joy of the earthly journey you shared together, and feeling the warmth of her sweet Living Spirit forever with you. There will still be days when you ache to hold her again, - - that's part of the reality of not having her sweet physical body here with you. But I promise you, Joanne, the overwhelming sorrow will ease - - in time, one day at a time - - slowly but surely. There just isn't any easy way through this grief journey, Joanne. If there were I would surely tell you (and everyone else who comes here) how to do it so that your heart would not have to go through this painful, sorrowful emotional roller coaster.
The most important thing is for you and your husband to focus on what brings comfort to you both and to Zack. And to know that each of us are here for you, with you, and beside you, Joanne.
Thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing, Joanne. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I look forward to knowing how things are going whenever possible.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
Hi Joanne,
I am so sorry at the loss of your little girl Zoe, but I am glad that you joined us here in this website to share with us your pain. We are all here experiencing our loss in different ways but we are all in pain nonetheless. It is good for you to speak about it with others who are experiencing the same and know what you are feeling.
The first few days after the loss of my Poppy, I thought I was going to go insane from the grief and the pain. I began to have anxiety attacks. I had no one to talk to since I live alone and have no family here. My Poppy and my Gordo is all I had. I screamed, I cried, and I prayed hard. I lost a lot of sleep and did not eat. Then Gordo began to grieve and did not eat for 5 days. The first 2 days he did not eat at all. On the third day, he began to nibble and on the fifth day, he finally ate his meal. Thankfully he did drink but he lost weight.
I feel sad for your little Zack. I know how much he must miss his little sister. You are doing the right thing by giving him lots of love and attention; you both need each other right now. On a good note, it is good to hear that he is eating and drinking, that means he is on his way to recovery.
Stay in touch here. We can help one another heal by sharing and talking about it. Take one day at a time.
Sending you warm hugs.
I am so sorry at the loss of your little girl Zoe, but I am glad that you joined us here in this website to share with us your pain. We are all here experiencing our loss in different ways but we are all in pain nonetheless. It is good for you to speak about it with others who are experiencing the same and know what you are feeling.
The first few days after the loss of my Poppy, I thought I was going to go insane from the grief and the pain. I began to have anxiety attacks. I had no one to talk to since I live alone and have no family here. My Poppy and my Gordo is all I had. I screamed, I cried, and I prayed hard. I lost a lot of sleep and did not eat. Then Gordo began to grieve and did not eat for 5 days. The first 2 days he did not eat at all. On the third day, he began to nibble and on the fifth day, he finally ate his meal. Thankfully he did drink but he lost weight.
I feel sad for your little Zack. I know how much he must miss his little sister. You are doing the right thing by giving him lots of love and attention; you both need each other right now. On a good note, it is good to hear that he is eating and drinking, that means he is on his way to recovery.
Stay in touch here. We can help one another heal by sharing and talking about it. Take one day at a time.
Sending you warm hugs.
Thanks for your words of comfort, Poppy's mom
I had to work today and all I wanted to do was cry. I am so tired from being stuck out in the snow storm the other night that I find the grief hitting very hard again. I just cry on and off and still wake up after deaming about Zoe and wishing she was here for her hugs and to give me kisses.
I did pick a name for our new puppy. He will be called Kasper (aka, Casper the friendly ghost) because he is all white and I think my grandchildren will like the name. It just sounds like the right name even though we have not seen him but only his picture. He will be 3 wks old tomorrow.
I know some day the pain of losing Zoe will lessen but it was not today.
I had to work today and all I wanted to do was cry. I am so tired from being stuck out in the snow storm the other night that I find the grief hitting very hard again. I just cry on and off and still wake up after deaming about Zoe and wishing she was here for her hugs and to give me kisses.
I did pick a name for our new puppy. He will be called Kasper (aka, Casper the friendly ghost) because he is all white and I think my grandchildren will like the name. It just sounds like the right name even though we have not seen him but only his picture. He will be 3 wks old tomorrow.
I know some day the pain of losing Zoe will lessen but it was not today.
Hi, Joanne, physical and emotional exhaustion - - for whatever reason - - can increase the effects of grief, so I wish to reassure you that what you are feeling is very normal. It also lowers our immune system, so you must be sure to try to get as much rest as possible.
Yes, this deep grief will lessen, Joanne - - one day at a time. Will it ever completely go away? Probably not because the fact will always be that a part of you that belongs only to Zoe is incomplete because she is no longer physically present in your day to day life. The GOOD NEWS is that you ALWAYS AND FOREVER have her sweet Living Spirit in your heart and memories - - she is forever a heartbeat close to you and within you. And the deep sorrow you are having now will lessen.
Kasper - - what a cute name!! So, it will still be about 3 or 4 more weeks before your new little fur son comes home. I hope you will be able to find comfort in knowing that your precious Zoe is smiling in approval that you are following her lead in welcoming her younger "brother" to love and take care of. Zoe will always be Kasper's big sister, and I'm positive that in some way she will be guiding him in learning all the things he should know about being a good fur son and fur brother.
Joanne, I know your heart is filled with so many emotions that sometimes it may feel like you really don't know which way is up. May you find that direction here, Joanne, through our individual and collective attempts to offer you encouragement, comfort, and hope.
Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Joanne, and that I look forward to knowing how you're doing whenever possible.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
Yes, this deep grief will lessen, Joanne - - one day at a time. Will it ever completely go away? Probably not because the fact will always be that a part of you that belongs only to Zoe is incomplete because she is no longer physically present in your day to day life. The GOOD NEWS is that you ALWAYS AND FOREVER have her sweet Living Spirit in your heart and memories - - she is forever a heartbeat close to you and within you. And the deep sorrow you are having now will lessen.
Kasper - - what a cute name!! So, it will still be about 3 or 4 more weeks before your new little fur son comes home. I hope you will be able to find comfort in knowing that your precious Zoe is smiling in approval that you are following her lead in welcoming her younger "brother" to love and take care of. Zoe will always be Kasper's big sister, and I'm positive that in some way she will be guiding him in learning all the things he should know about being a good fur son and fur brother.
Joanne, I know your heart is filled with so many emotions that sometimes it may feel like you really don't know which way is up. May you find that direction here, Joanne, through our individual and collective attempts to offer you encouragement, comfort, and hope.
Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Joanne, and that I look forward to knowing how you're doing whenever possible.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
Dear Joanne,
Please accept my sincerest sympathy on the loss of your precious Zoe. When our loss is so sudden, grief truely becomes a one day at a time experience. I share this grieving process with you having lost my beautiful Victoria one week ago. And I trust that all the crying will help to wash away the pain, even though it may seem endless.
With healing hugs and peace,
Juturna
Please accept my sincerest sympathy on the loss of your precious Zoe. When our loss is so sudden, grief truely becomes a one day at a time experience. I share this grieving process with you having lost my beautiful Victoria one week ago. And I trust that all the crying will help to wash away the pain, even though it may seem endless.
With healing hugs and peace,
Juturna
The crying does seem endless. I will be busy at work or driving the car and suddenly I feel like she has just died all over again. I am still having periods of crying every day and night. I have lost animal friends before but don't remember the extreme emotion going on for this long. I can only believe that in my case it is because she was so young and her death was so sudden.
With my cats and dog in the past, I knew that they had been sick and suffering so maybe I could rationalize their deaths. In this case I had seen her 5 minutes before the car hit her and ended her life. I just keep thinking she could have been so scared if she had any warning of what was happening and that I was not there to protect her. I keep thinking that as adult humans it is our job to protect our pets, even though in my head I know we cannot always do this. I hope someday the tears will stop and I can remember our wonderful times together without crying so hard.
Grieving is exhausting and I am not sleeping well. The weather here is going to be bad again tonight and tomorrow night. Ice storms both nights with rain during the day. Some how I have to get to work tomorrow in one piece.
Anyway, I still take comfort for your words and friendship and thank you again for letting me express my feelings.
This is now the only place that I can talk about how I am feeling and how much I miss Zoe.
Joanne
With my cats and dog in the past, I knew that they had been sick and suffering so maybe I could rationalize their deaths. In this case I had seen her 5 minutes before the car hit her and ended her life. I just keep thinking she could have been so scared if she had any warning of what was happening and that I was not there to protect her. I keep thinking that as adult humans it is our job to protect our pets, even though in my head I know we cannot always do this. I hope someday the tears will stop and I can remember our wonderful times together without crying so hard.
Grieving is exhausting and I am not sleeping well. The weather here is going to be bad again tonight and tomorrow night. Ice storms both nights with rain during the day. Some how I have to get to work tomorrow in one piece.
Anyway, I still take comfort for your words and friendship and thank you again for letting me express my feelings.
This is now the only place that I can talk about how I am feeling and how much I miss Zoe.
Joanne
QUOTE (JoanneL @ Jan 31 2011, 10:03 PM)
The crying does seem endless. I will be busy at work or driving the car and suddenly I feel like she has just died all over again. I am still having periods of crying every day and night. I have lost animal friends before but don't remember the extreme emotion going on for this long. I can only believe that in my case it is because she was so young and her death was so sudden.
With my cats and dog in the past, I knew that they had been sick and suffering so maybe I could rationalize their deaths. In this case I had seen her 5 minutes before the car hit her and ended her life. I just keep thinking she could have been so scared if she had any warning of what was happening and that I was not there to protect her. I keep thinking that as adult humans it is our job to protect our pets, even though in my head I know we cannot always do this. I hope someday the tears will stop and I can remember our wonderful times together without crying so hard.
Grieving is exhausting and I am not sleeping well. The weather here is going to be bad again tonight and tomorrow night. Ice storms both nights with rain during the day. Some how I have to get to work tomorrow in one piece.
Anyway, I still take comfort for your words and friendship and thank you again for letting me express my feelings.
This is now the only place that I can talk about how I am feeling and how much I miss Zoe.
Joanne
With my cats and dog in the past, I knew that they had been sick and suffering so maybe I could rationalize their deaths. In this case I had seen her 5 minutes before the car hit her and ended her life. I just keep thinking she could have been so scared if she had any warning of what was happening and that I was not there to protect her. I keep thinking that as adult humans it is our job to protect our pets, even though in my head I know we cannot always do this. I hope someday the tears will stop and I can remember our wonderful times together without crying so hard.
Grieving is exhausting and I am not sleeping well. The weather here is going to be bad again tonight and tomorrow night. Ice storms both nights with rain during the day. Some how I have to get to work tomorrow in one piece.
Anyway, I still take comfort for your words and friendship and thank you again for letting me express my feelings.
This is now the only place that I can talk about how I am feeling and how much I miss Zoe.
Joanne
Dear Joanne,
Yes, the suddeness with Zoe can prolong the initial grief period as our very being is in shock when we experience an unexpected loss in our lives. You fully expected to see her after her walk and nothing could have prepared you for this. I understand how you wish you could have protected her as that is our job as guardians; Unfortunately, this was totally outside of your control.
The crying and difficulty sleeping are part of this exhausting grief process. In some cultures, 4:00am-6:00am are considered the mourning hours. Since my Victoria has passed on, I too have been up at night and I wake up crying each morning.
Safe drive to work.
Please know that I'm sending you healing thoughts and hugs,
Juturna
joanne, i am so sorry for your loss, especially for you for how it happened.
i understand this so well, because my baby girl was taken suddenly and tragically. she was lots older but she was so very healthy and acted and looked way younger. i ache deep inside thinking about how scared she must have been and even though there was nothing i could have done and people who saw what happened have told me that's true, in my heart i still feel like i let her down that one time she needed me more than ever. i know it's not rational and yet i still feel it. i think the extreme emotions of the grieving process distorts things some and that as time goes on and we go through more of the process we will realise the truth that everyone else sees. i hope that happens for you.
this is such an incredibly awful time and it is more than the mind can fathom that one second all in our worlds is as it should be and then the very next second it has become this ball of chaos and pain that transcends words.
i hope that kapser turns out to be just what you have hoped for him to be.
take as good gentle care of yourself
QUOTE
I can only believe that in my case it is because she was so young and her death was so sudden.
With my cats and dog in the past, I knew that they had been sick and suffering so maybe I could rationalize their deaths. In this case I had seen her 5 minutes before the car hit her and ended her life. I just keep thinking she could have been so scared if she had any warning of what was happening and that I was not there to protect her. I keep thinking that as adult humans it is our job to protect our pets, even though in my head I know we cannot always do this.
With my cats and dog in the past, I knew that they had been sick and suffering so maybe I could rationalize their deaths. In this case I had seen her 5 minutes before the car hit her and ended her life. I just keep thinking she could have been so scared if she had any warning of what was happening and that I was not there to protect her. I keep thinking that as adult humans it is our job to protect our pets, even though in my head I know we cannot always do this.
i understand this so well, because my baby girl was taken suddenly and tragically. she was lots older but she was so very healthy and acted and looked way younger. i ache deep inside thinking about how scared she must have been and even though there was nothing i could have done and people who saw what happened have told me that's true, in my heart i still feel like i let her down that one time she needed me more than ever. i know it's not rational and yet i still feel it. i think the extreme emotions of the grieving process distorts things some and that as time goes on and we go through more of the process we will realise the truth that everyone else sees. i hope that happens for you.
this is such an incredibly awful time and it is more than the mind can fathom that one second all in our worlds is as it should be and then the very next second it has become this ball of chaos and pain that transcends words.
i hope that kapser turns out to be just what you have hoped for him to be.
take as good gentle care of yourself
"The crying does seem endless. I will be busy at work or driving the car and suddenly I feel like she has just died all over again. I am still having periods of crying every day and night. "
Hi, Joanne, please let me try to reassure you that what you are going through is very normal. Unfortunately there is no easy way through this grief journey. Although we know intellectually this is true, this still does not make this horrible roller coaster of grief any easier to bear. I promise you, Joanne, one day when you least expect it you will find yourself feeling the warmth of the sun on your face again - - because your heart will be warmed by the beautiful memories of your precious Zoe. And instead of crying you will be smiling - - I promise you, Joanne, with all my heart.
I hope the weather will not be as bad as is being forecasted. I know how you feel about driving in bad weather, Joanne. I don't handle the stress of white-knuckle driving very well anymore.
Joanne, we're here with you, for you, and beside you always. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Joanne, and will look forward to knowing how you're doing whenever possible.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
Hi, Joanne, please let me try to reassure you that what you are going through is very normal. Unfortunately there is no easy way through this grief journey. Although we know intellectually this is true, this still does not make this horrible roller coaster of grief any easier to bear. I promise you, Joanne, one day when you least expect it you will find yourself feeling the warmth of the sun on your face again - - because your heart will be warmed by the beautiful memories of your precious Zoe. And instead of crying you will be smiling - - I promise you, Joanne, with all my heart.
I hope the weather will not be as bad as is being forecasted. I know how you feel about driving in bad weather, Joanne. I don't handle the stress of white-knuckle driving very well anymore.
Joanne, we're here with you, for you, and beside you always. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Joanne, and will look forward to knowing how you're doing whenever possible.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
Again thank you all for being here for me.
I had another very bad day at work yesterday. Someone will stop by my desk to offer sympathy and I start crying again. Today I spent part of the day with my daughter and very young granddaughters so I was distracted somewhat. There are so many times now that I look for her where she would have been in the house or the yard with her brother and it hits me again that she is gone forever. She was just so sweet and used to sit on my lap in the evening while we watched TV after dinner. There is such an empty feeling now that she is not here with me.
I know taking on a puppy will be a massive amount of work but I do believe very therapeutic for my husband and me. I hope that Zack will enjoy having a baby "brother".
It really is exhausting crying and missing Zoe so much. I think the horrible dark, gray weather does not help and being stranded last week in the storm really wore me out.
Going to try to get some sleep so I can get up early and venture out in the dark, cold morning. I am so ready to retire but can't quite yet.
I had another very bad day at work yesterday. Someone will stop by my desk to offer sympathy and I start crying again. Today I spent part of the day with my daughter and very young granddaughters so I was distracted somewhat. There are so many times now that I look for her where she would have been in the house or the yard with her brother and it hits me again that she is gone forever. She was just so sweet and used to sit on my lap in the evening while we watched TV after dinner. There is such an empty feeling now that she is not here with me.
I know taking on a puppy will be a massive amount of work but I do believe very therapeutic for my husband and me. I hope that Zack will enjoy having a baby "brother".
It really is exhausting crying and missing Zoe so much. I think the horrible dark, gray weather does not help and being stranded last week in the storm really wore me out.
Going to try to get some sleep so I can get up early and venture out in the dark, cold morning. I am so ready to retire but can't quite yet.
QUOTE (JoanneL @ Feb 2 2011, 09:56 PM)
Again thank you all for being here for me.
I had another very bad day at work yesterday. Someone will stop by my desk to offer sympathy and I start crying again. Today I spent part of the day with my daughter and very young granddaughters so I was distracted somewhat. There are so many times now that I look for her where she would have been in the house or the yard with her brother and it hits me again that she is gone forever. She was just so sweet and used to sit on my lap in the evening while we watched TV after dinner. There is such an empty feeling now that she is not here with me.
I know taking on a puppy will be a massive amount of work but I do believe very therapeutic for my husband and me. I hope that Zack will enjoy having a baby "brother".
It really is exhausting crying and missing Zoe so much. I think the horrible dark, gray weather does not help and being stranded last week in the storm really wore me out.
Going to try to get some sleep so I can get up early and venture out in the dark, cold morning. I am so ready to retire but can't quite yet.
I had another very bad day at work yesterday. Someone will stop by my desk to offer sympathy and I start crying again. Today I spent part of the day with my daughter and very young granddaughters so I was distracted somewhat. There are so many times now that I look for her where she would have been in the house or the yard with her brother and it hits me again that she is gone forever. She was just so sweet and used to sit on my lap in the evening while we watched TV after dinner. There is such an empty feeling now that she is not here with me.
I know taking on a puppy will be a massive amount of work but I do believe very therapeutic for my husband and me. I hope that Zack will enjoy having a baby "brother".
It really is exhausting crying and missing Zoe so much. I think the horrible dark, gray weather does not help and being stranded last week in the storm really wore me out.
Going to try to get some sleep so I can get up early and venture out in the dark, cold morning. I am so ready to retire but can't quite yet.
Hi Joanne,
I related to your looking for your precious Zoe as I am still, at times, looking for my Victoria. And I totally understand that empty feeling. Grieving is exhausting. I hope you have been sleeping alittle better.
Sometimes we need distractions, especially when the grief feels so intense. And yes, the weather is not helping.
Hope tomorrow is a peaceful day for you. Please know that we are here for you.
With healing thoughts and hugs,
Juturna
Unfortunately not sleeping any better. I just can't shake off the intense feeling of loss. I have better moments during the day when I am busy but still get shocked all over again when I remember Zoe is gone.
We have to get a smaller crate for the new puppy who will be joining us next month. I asked my husband to exchange Zoe's larger one for a smaller one with a divider. I can't even begin to face that task. The PetSmart near us is wonderful about exchanging things when the dogs outgrow them. It could never occured to me that we would have to exchange a crate due to a death.
Somehow I have been getting through the days one at a time. The first week I really was not sure I would ever get out of bed or go out of the house again. There are just things we have to push through in order to survive them. I spent most of my career caring for the dying and counseling their families. Really hard to take my own advice when it comes to the loss of my little dog.
Well, got to try to go to sleep so I can get up and go to work in the morning. Forecast for snow, ice, rain again this Sat. We were supposed to meet the new puppy but weather may not permit it.
Have a good night and good day tomorrow, if possible.
Joanne
We have to get a smaller crate for the new puppy who will be joining us next month. I asked my husband to exchange Zoe's larger one for a smaller one with a divider. I can't even begin to face that task. The PetSmart near us is wonderful about exchanging things when the dogs outgrow them. It could never occured to me that we would have to exchange a crate due to a death.
Somehow I have been getting through the days one at a time. The first week I really was not sure I would ever get out of bed or go out of the house again. There are just things we have to push through in order to survive them. I spent most of my career caring for the dying and counseling their families. Really hard to take my own advice when it comes to the loss of my little dog.
Well, got to try to go to sleep so I can get up and go to work in the morning. Forecast for snow, ice, rain again this Sat. We were supposed to meet the new puppy but weather may not permit it.
Have a good night and good day tomorrow, if possible.
Joanne
Hi Joanne,
I'm sorry that sleep continues to be difficult for you. (It is for me, too.) This loss process truely is a one day at a time experience. I'm glad that you notice the progress from the first week. And just because we may work in the field of helping others through grief, this does not make our own loss any easier or less painful. Please be gentle with yourself.
With peace and healing thoughts,
Juturna
I'm sorry that sleep continues to be difficult for you. (It is for me, too.) This loss process truely is a one day at a time experience. I'm glad that you notice the progress from the first week. And just because we may work in the field of helping others through grief, this does not make our own loss any easier or less painful. Please be gentle with yourself.
With peace and healing thoughts,
Juturna
Hi, Joanne, what is that saying "doctors make the worst patients" - - I think this applies for anyone who is in the medical / counseling / health care provider profession. It is much easier to give comfort for we are reaching beyond ourselves. When we are in situations of needing comfort, we are telling ourselves on some intellectual level that we "should be" feeling a certain way or "should not be" feeling a certain way - - because after all we "should know" how to cope since we "know" all this psychological "stuff" - - right??!!?? Well, as Juturna has so comfortingly said in her response, "just because we may work in the field of helping others through grief, this does not make our own loss any easier or less painful. Please be gentle with yourself." And I wish to offer my total support of her wise counsel.
I'm glad PetsMart is good about accepting things you return. About two months before my Oslo joined the angels - - at which time I was not expecting him to - - I went to PetsMart to stock up on his food so that I wouldn't have to drive into the city if the weather turned bad for Thanksgiving through December. Oslo joined the angels on November 29, 2009, and I had 5 cases of his food - - one I had just opened the night before he had his stroke to have a can ready for Sunday morning's breakfast - - never used it. The PetsMart in the city caught fire because of arson from one of the employees, so the store was closed until just before the last of December 2009. Usually there is a 30 day return window, but I wasn't able to get back into the city until after the New Year - - the first or second week of January 2010. I thought I would be able to make it through returning his food and treats, but before I was able to say two words to the manager I broke down into gut wrenching sobbing. I eventually was able to tell the manager what happened and why I was returning the food and treats, and I had my receipt from the purchase. The manager was so compassionate there was no problem returning the items, and I used the refunded money to buy supplies for Noah and Abbygayle. I hope the exchange for the crates will go smoothly for your husband.
Joanne, I hope the weather is not as dreadful in your location this weekend as it is being forecasted to be, and hopefully you'll still be able to go see your new little furchild. I know your precious Zoe is proud of you for offering a loving home to another little fur child. Just be reassured that Kasper will have his own place in your heart and home - - and Zoe knows she is forever a part of you.
Joanne, I hope you will have a peaceful and safe weekend. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and will look forward to knowing how you're doing whenever possible.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
I'm glad PetsMart is good about accepting things you return. About two months before my Oslo joined the angels - - at which time I was not expecting him to - - I went to PetsMart to stock up on his food so that I wouldn't have to drive into the city if the weather turned bad for Thanksgiving through December. Oslo joined the angels on November 29, 2009, and I had 5 cases of his food - - one I had just opened the night before he had his stroke to have a can ready for Sunday morning's breakfast - - never used it. The PetsMart in the city caught fire because of arson from one of the employees, so the store was closed until just before the last of December 2009. Usually there is a 30 day return window, but I wasn't able to get back into the city until after the New Year - - the first or second week of January 2010. I thought I would be able to make it through returning his food and treats, but before I was able to say two words to the manager I broke down into gut wrenching sobbing. I eventually was able to tell the manager what happened and why I was returning the food and treats, and I had my receipt from the purchase. The manager was so compassionate there was no problem returning the items, and I used the refunded money to buy supplies for Noah and Abbygayle. I hope the exchange for the crates will go smoothly for your husband.
Joanne, I hope the weather is not as dreadful in your location this weekend as it is being forecasted to be, and hopefully you'll still be able to go see your new little furchild. I know your precious Zoe is proud of you for offering a loving home to another little fur child. Just be reassured that Kasper will have his own place in your heart and home - - and Zoe knows she is forever a part of you.
Joanne, I hope you will have a peaceful and safe weekend. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and will look forward to knowing how you're doing whenever possible.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
Apparently PetSmart changed their policy. They would not exchange the crate for a smaller one that would be better for a puppy. We have a divider for the crate we have and we can see if that will still be too big for a small puppy. I am making a list of the things we need before we bring Kasper home in March.
Have not decided definitely but think we will wait until next weekend to meet Kasper. With Super Bowl this Sun I think my husband would rather stay home. Weather is not supposed to be icy but raining much of the day tomorrow. This Sun and next should be cold but with sun.
Still crying in the car on the way to and from work. One of our friends has been away and offered condolences on Zoe's death and of course I started to cry again. I do not remember crying this much for any humans in our family. I guess because Zoe lived with us and spent her time with me every evening after work. I really miss her kisses and being able to hug and pet her. I love being with Zack but I had always had the 2 of them together.
Well, I know this can only be done one day at a time and one night at a time.
Thank you all again for continued support and sharing.
Joanne
Have not decided definitely but think we will wait until next weekend to meet Kasper. With Super Bowl this Sun I think my husband would rather stay home. Weather is not supposed to be icy but raining much of the day tomorrow. This Sun and next should be cold but with sun.
Still crying in the car on the way to and from work. One of our friends has been away and offered condolences on Zoe's death and of course I started to cry again. I do not remember crying this much for any humans in our family. I guess because Zoe lived with us and spent her time with me every evening after work. I really miss her kisses and being able to hug and pet her. I love being with Zack but I had always had the 2 of them together.
Well, I know this can only be done one day at a time and one night at a time.
Thank you all again for continued support and sharing.
Joanne
Hi, Joanne, I'm sorry PetsMart wouldn't accept the trade for a smaller crate. Sounds like you're getting "organized" for your new furchild. I can imagine how torn your heart is feeling - - grieving for the physical loss of your precious Zoe while another part of you is anticipating a family member.
Joanne, clinical professionals are recognizing that the grief of loss of a beloved companion is as bad as, if not worse than, the loss of a human family member or friend. The reason for this is because our beloved companions give to us their undivided attention and unconditional love, and we in turn surrender ourselves to them without reservation. We only experience this with our beloved companons, which is why our grief for them when they join the angels is indeed more intense than what we feel with a human family member or friend. Why? Because with our human family members and friends there are "expectations" in our relationships, hopes, dreams, needs, - - which no one person can share with us. Our beloved companions, however, touch our very spirit - - they look beyond our "humanness" and bond with our heart and soul. There are no "expectations" with our beloved companions - - we can enjoy each other just for the sheer joy. So what you are feeling is normal, Joanne. This does not lessen the deep love and devotion we share with our human family members and friends - - it just means that it's on a different level.
I hope you and your husband will have a peaceful weekend, Joanne, and that the weather next weekend will cooperate for you to visit with Kasper. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and will look forward to knowing how things are going whenever possible.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
Joanne, clinical professionals are recognizing that the grief of loss of a beloved companion is as bad as, if not worse than, the loss of a human family member or friend. The reason for this is because our beloved companions give to us their undivided attention and unconditional love, and we in turn surrender ourselves to them without reservation. We only experience this with our beloved companons, which is why our grief for them when they join the angels is indeed more intense than what we feel with a human family member or friend. Why? Because with our human family members and friends there are "expectations" in our relationships, hopes, dreams, needs, - - which no one person can share with us. Our beloved companions, however, touch our very spirit - - they look beyond our "humanness" and bond with our heart and soul. There are no "expectations" with our beloved companions - - we can enjoy each other just for the sheer joy. So what you are feeling is normal, Joanne. This does not lessen the deep love and devotion we share with our human family members and friends - - it just means that it's on a different level.
I hope you and your husband will have a peaceful weekend, Joanne, and that the weather next weekend will cooperate for you to visit with Kasper. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and will look forward to knowing how things are going whenever possible.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
Again, thank you Moon-Beam. I decided we had done enough driving yesterday so we will try to meet Kasper next Sunday. We were not too far from the breeder yesterday for my daughter's birthday celebration but the weather was awful. Today is a bright, sunny day but also Super Bowl Sunday. I had to give my husband a day to relax and enjoy football without meeting our new baby. Zack and Zoe always watched the games with him and I know he misses her every day. I still can't think about her without crying because I miss her so much. I just keep hoping for the day when I can think of her without tears. She just died way too soon for me. I really thought she would be with us for many years to come but we had no control over the accident that took her from us. I am now very protective of Zack and he still gets into mischief when we take our eyes off of him.
Thanks to all of you for being here. I could not make it without you.
Thanks to all of you for being here. I could not make it without you.
Dear Joanne,
It is totally understandable that you can not think of your precious Zoe without tears. I join you in this grief journey. And as Moon_ beam so eloquently stated, the grief from loosing an animal companion can be just as awful, if not worse, than loosing a human family member. For me, the grief has been more intense in the passing of my dogs, than in human family loss. Also, our society expects us and allows us time off for grieving with human losses. With my present loss of my beautiful Victoria, I did not have one day off work. I suspect you did not have much time off to grieve either.
Hope the rest of your day and evening is peaceful.
With serenity and healing thoughts,
Juturna
It is totally understandable that you can not think of your precious Zoe without tears. I join you in this grief journey. And as Moon_ beam so eloquently stated, the grief from loosing an animal companion can be just as awful, if not worse, than loosing a human family member. For me, the grief has been more intense in the passing of my dogs, than in human family loss. Also, our society expects us and allows us time off for grieving with human losses. With my present loss of my beautiful Victoria, I did not have one day off work. I suspect you did not have much time off to grieve either.
Hope the rest of your day and evening is peaceful.
With serenity and healing thoughts,
Juturna
Hi, Joanne, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. For different reasons I do understand how very hard it is to reconcile a loss when it is a result of a tragic event. Hopefully iin time you will be able to think of your precious Zoe focused on the wonderful memories you have of her earthly journey with you, but this will take time, Joanne - - one day at a time.
It is perfectly normal to become protective of Zack, even though Zack may not always appreciate it as it sounds that may be the case since he still manages to get into mischief. I can just see Zack settled on the sofa next to your husband intently watching each snap of the ball, each pass, each touchdown - - and growling at every interception and fumble.
Joanne, I hope today will be a good day for you, your husband, Zack, and all of your family. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and will look forward to knowing how you're doing whenever possible.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
It is perfectly normal to become protective of Zack, even though Zack may not always appreciate it as it sounds that may be the case since he still manages to get into mischief. I can just see Zack settled on the sofa next to your husband intently watching each snap of the ball, each pass, each touchdown - - and growling at every interception and fumble.
Joanne, I hope today will be a good day for you, your husband, Zack, and all of your family. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and will look forward to knowing how you're doing whenever possible.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
Today is 4 weeks since Zoe was killed. I can't imagine how I have gotten through the days without her. But your support has made such a difference. I have told other people about this site in the last few weeks when they have lost their pets. Just wanted to come to this place to share as I do almost every day. As I said yesterday it is the one place I can say how I am feeling and be understood.
I still can't talk to people about Zoe without crying and that makes them uncomfortable. Most people don't know how to respond to a crying friend. I do believe that people who are not animal lovers or who have never lost a pet think we should "move on" and "get over it". Those of us who are here know it is not that easy. The house just seems so empty without her. Even with Zack here it is much quieter.
I think Kasper will liven things up but no one will ever replace Zoe. He will be a new companion in his own right. He will bring his own personality to our home and I will have to get advice on how to handle Zack with the new puppy. I have spoken briefly to our vet and done some reading but will see the vet for a new puppy check just after we bring Kasper home.
Hoping you all a good day or night depending where you are when you read this.
I still can't talk to people about Zoe without crying and that makes them uncomfortable. Most people don't know how to respond to a crying friend. I do believe that people who are not animal lovers or who have never lost a pet think we should "move on" and "get over it". Those of us who are here know it is not that easy. The house just seems so empty without her. Even with Zack here it is much quieter.
I think Kasper will liven things up but no one will ever replace Zoe. He will be a new companion in his own right. He will bring his own personality to our home and I will have to get advice on how to handle Zack with the new puppy. I have spoken briefly to our vet and done some reading but will see the vet for a new puppy check just after we bring Kasper home.
Hoping you all a good day or night depending where you are when you read this.
Dear Joanne,
Four weeks is not that long in terms of grieving the loss of a being as precious as your little Zoe. One of my friends told me that she cried daily for 6 months following the sudden death of her beloved dog. Grief does not have a specific time line. If you give yourself permission to cry, which it sounds like you are, the tears will eventually wash away the pain.
Our animal companions bring us unconditional love. Our bond with them is unlike any human bond, and loss of this takes time to heal.
Hope you have a peaceful night.
With serenity and healing thoughts,
Juturna
Four weeks is not that long in terms of grieving the loss of a being as precious as your little Zoe. One of my friends told me that she cried daily for 6 months following the sudden death of her beloved dog. Grief does not have a specific time line. If you give yourself permission to cry, which it sounds like you are, the tears will eventually wash away the pain.
Our animal companions bring us unconditional love. Our bond with them is unlike any human bond, and loss of this takes time to heal.
Hope you have a peaceful night.
With serenity and healing thoughts,
Juturna
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