Thanks so much to you all for your support.

The cortisone shot helped with the swelling in the front of the knee but it is still aching and very stiff in the back of the knee. Probably a Baker's cyst which is common with arthritis. Giving me a fit.

Tomorrow will be 12 weeks since Zoe was killed. Things are better but I still do miss her every day. I cry less often but will get these feelings of overwhelming sadness and then remember why. I certainly am no where near the
stage of acceptance. Don't think I will ever accept that in one second she was gone.

Still watching Zack try to sort things out with Kasper. I know that could take a long time. When things get too much for us we give Kasper a time out in his crate so he and Zack can take a breather from each other.

Even though I am not here every day I think about all of you and wish you peace and for all of us eventually, acceptance.

Hi, Joanne, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. I truly believe with all my heart that we will NEVER be able to "accept" the physical absence of our beloved companions, but rather the goal of this grief journey is one of "adjustment." Zoe is not "lost" to you, for as long as you hold her close in your heart and memories she is forever with you - - she is always a heartbeat close to you. I know it's a matter of perception, Joanne, and I do know - - oh so well - - how hard it is to find any comfort when our heart is deeply shattered. When we focus on our beloved companions physical death, it can take the joy out of our heart for the privilege of having shared their earthly journey with us. This is not what our beloved companions want for us. So, in order to overcome the deepest sorrow our hearts will ever know on this side of eternity, it helps to focus on the eternal love bond that we share - - always and forever - - with our companions - - which keeps their sweet Living Spirit close to us - - always a heartbeat close to us - - eternally alive. And hopefully, as the the deep grief eases, we are able to come to know that "adjustment" supercedes "acceptance" in knowing that our beloved companions are truly forever with us just as they always have been and always will be.

I do know this is more easily said than done, and some days are easier to manage than others. I hope one day you will be able to know, and feel, your precious Zoe's sweet Living Spirit with you, and then you will know she is always with you continuing to share your earthly journey just as she always has and always will.

I hope your knee begins to feel better, Joanne. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and look forward to knowing how you're doing whenever possible.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Hi Joanne,

Hope your knee is beginning to improve.

Missing your precious Zoe is understandable and I share your pain. I'm glad the tears have diminished some, though that does not mean you miss her any less. Please know that as bright a star as little Kasper is, he will never replace your Zoe.

Hope you have a peaceful weekend,
With peace and gratitude,
Juturna

I am still here. Just don't have much time to post anymore. Between work and day to day activities and having a new "baby" the days are not long enough. Baby is getting bigger. Zack tolerates him some of the time and he idolizes Zack. My knee is better but not back to normal.

I try to read some of the posts of the other people on this journey of trying to live without our beloved companions who have left this earth. Every story brings tears to my eyes as I can feel the tremendous pain each person is experiencing.
I was able to look at some puppy pics of Zoe today without becoming totally hysterical. I do not think a day has gone by since she died that I have not cried at some point. She was just such a loving companion. I just have not figured out how to get passed the teary times. Sometimes Zack looks so sad I wonder if he can remember her and if he is missing her too. That only makes it harder for me. He still sleeps on her blanket several nights a week. They had just never been apart from the time they were born. That must be so hard. I don't think we really know what animals remember or are thinking. I just try to give him extra helpings of loving. I hope when Kasper gets a little bigger he may play with him instead of trying to teach him who the boss is every day.

Saying good night to all of my friends here. Got to get some sleep.

Hi, Joanne, thank you so much for letting us know how you're doing. Yes, your precious Zack does remember his sister, and I can so relate to what you're feeling and going through, as my little Noah has seen three of his fur family members leave him to join the angels. It has now been 13 months and two days since his beautiful baby sister Abbygayle joined the angels. Every once in awhile he will still get this very sad expression on his face and bow his head, and I know he is remembering better times when he had adopted brothers and his sibling baby sister to play and snuggle with. Our companions do grieve for their family members. You are doing the very best you can, Joanne, by giving him extra loving. The both of you remember a "better time", and Zack also understands the emptiness you are feeling in your heart. And rest assured in time Zack and Kasper will sort things out between them. It may just be too soon for Zack to embrace another housemate. Remember that everyone grieves differently, and this includes our furkids, too.

I'm glad your knee is feeling better, and hopefully each day is better than before. Thank you so much for letting us know how you're doing, Joanne. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and look forward to knowing how things are going whenever possible.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Hi Joanne,

I'm glad your knee is improving.

It is Ok that your tears are present still every day. That just means that there is more pain and grief that needs to be shed. I can so relate to your pain. And it is beautiful that you can empathize with others' stories.

Giving little Zack extra loving sounds so nurturing. He must adore it.

With peace and gratitude,
Juturna

Stoppping by to check in. Thank you, as always, Juturna for you support.

I am having some pretty good days with respect to the grief over Zoe's death but this past weekend I was really down in the dumps again. I love my new puppy, Kasper, and of course Zack but...I just still have my times where I still can't believe Zoe is gone. Seems like I would be getting past that by now.
I know there is no time table for grief. I did grief work with humans over the loss of humans for most of my career but this is different. I just keep hoping time will make this pain better. I still get so angry about the accident that took her from me. Just being able to come here and write about it is a big help.

thanks for listening.

Hi, Joanne, patience is much easier when it is being given to others, but sometimes very hard to offer ourselves when we think we "should be" doing "better." I know what you mean about feeling angry about what happened to your precious Zoe. A traumatic event takes a lot of time to work through, my friend, and I do mean a LOT of time. I am so sorry you're having to deal with this, Joanne.

I'm wondering how your knee and back are doing. I hope you are feeling better now. Are you still in outpatient physical therapy?

Joanne, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. I hope these days are treating you kindly. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, my friend, and look forward to knowing how things are going whenever possible.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Hello Joanne

Glad to hear the grief is subsiding slowly but surely and you have found love for another puppy. I know people respond to these situations differently, some even keep the ashes in a keepsake of one kind or another. All in all, we're only human and part of that is feeling the goodness and at times the sadness. What it shows me is you are a person with a heart.

kind regards

Thanks Allan for your response.

I have been too tired at night to go online very often. I have to work tomorrow so I only have a few minutes before I have to get to bed.

Want to wish all of my Mom friends here a peaceful and loving Mother's Day. I know we will all miss the babies who have left us.

Things continue to slowly improve but there are still days when I miss Zoe so much I can't stand it. Zack and Kasper are adorable and precious babies but as we know, each of our furry children is unique. I still look forward to the day that Zack accepts Kasper as a member of our family but that is not here yet. There was never a question with Zoe and Zack because they were born together and never apart. Life is very different now.

So glad that I have all of you in my life and we can be here to support each other.

Hi, Joanne, thank you so much for letting us know how you're doing. One of the hardest things during this "adjustment" journey is knowing that things used to be different, and that different used to be better - - because our beloved companion who is now with the angels was physically with us. I wish our beloved companions who are still physically with us could talk to us in a common language so that they could share with us what is on their mind and in their heart - - like I wish your precious Zack could tell you what he honestly thinks about his adopted little brother Kasper. Just keep telling your precious Zack that you know Kasper will never be able to replace Zoe - and isn't meant to replace Zoe -- but that he can be a source of comfort and joy.

Joanne, I hope you're feeling okay with your back and your knee. Please know you are frequently in my thoughts and prayers, my friend, and look forward to knowing how your doing whenever possible.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Four months today without Zoe. I am glad that time is moving on but still so sad that she is not here to enjoy the beautiful weather and run around in our yard with her brother.

I did not go to work today due to my chronic pain. I have been resting all day and feel better just being away from work for a day. I needed to stop here today to share with my bereaved friends on the 4 month anniversary of Zoe's death. I know I can come here to cry and no one will think it odd. I have said before that there are no human I know who would understand still grieving for a dog this long but they don't understand the relationship between humans and pets. She was our little girl, even though we both have human children and grandchildren. This is different. Dogs give total unconditional love and don't ask for much in return. I still miss her morning and evening kisses and her sweet face.

We love Zack and Kasper, as I have said before, but no one can ever replace the one that is lost.
Thinking of all of you even though I don't get by here as often as I did in the past.

Joanne

Hi, Joanne, the "angel-versaries" are hard because they are yet another reminder that our beloved companion is no longer physically with us. And when you're in physical pain it makes the physical absence of our beloved companions even harder to bear - - as they always helped to make things "better".

Today is another step forward in your grief adjustment journey - - and another day of keeping your precious Zoe close to you in your heart and memories - - of keeping her always a heartbeat close to you. I know the memories are still difficult to remember with a happy heart, but today is another day closer to when the time will come when your heart will know joy again in remembering your precious Zoe - - and fondly recalling her gleeful play in the garden. Maybe someday you will even be able to close your eyes and joyfully see her once again in your heart and memories.

We are here for you, Joanne, to share with you the better days, the not so good days, and the totally horrible days. I hope you are feeling better this evening, my friend. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and look forward to knowing how you're doing whenever possible.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Thanks Moon_beam

I can always count on you to be out there for me. Off of work today so I am able to stop by to say "hello". Nothing much new with me. Zack and Kasper still trying to work things out. I still wake up in the morning and go to bed at night thinking of Zoe. Never thought it would take this long to begin to accept her death.

Hi Joanne,

Four months is not a "long" time compared to the time you shared with your precious Zoe. You're still very early on in your grieving journey, so it's no surprise that you still feel so sad. Still waking up and going to bed with thoughts of your Zoe is not a bad thing. It's been a year since I lost my Daisy and I STILL think of her when I wake up, throughout the day, and before I go to sleep. But I am thankful for these thoughts and memories as it helps to keep our loved ones alive, until it's our time to be reunited with them again. Your Zoe is always with you.

Take care,
Cheryl xx

Hi, Joanne, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. I have a clue for you about this grief adjustment journey - - you NEVER "get used to" the physical absence of a beloved companion. I still think about my Eli, Oslo, and Abbygayle - - and my fearless William Ferocious - - a brave little Tuxedo kitty I had when I was a little girl who died on Thanksgiving Day when I was 8 years old - - he was only about 2 or 3 years old. The goal of this grief journey is not one of "getting used to" but of "adjustment" to the "new normal" which is very challenging and painful - - both emotionally and physically. It can only happen one day at a time and only at our own individual pace. So, my friend, please put your mind and heart at peace - - you are doing just fine.

I'm glad you're having a chance to be home today, and hope it is being a peaceful day for you. How are your back and knee doing these days? I hope you are feeling better.

Joanne, thank you again so much for letting us know how you're doing. I hope you will have a peaceful evening tonight, my friend. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and look forward to knowing how you're doing whenever possible.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Hi Moon_beam

I had a few minutes to get on the computer tonight. I have to work tomorrow and tend to stay up too late on Fridays before I work Sat. I think I am still young enough to do my job with less sleep than I really need--not true anymore.
I have been dealing with my chronic pain issues recently but the knee is 99% better. I do believe that the stress of Zoe's death and the stress of my job are contributing to the pain.

Kasper is getting bigger. He is 4 months old now and Zack is still learning to tolerate him. Zack still spends most nights on our bed sleeping on Zoe's blanket. He still sniffs it every night. I can't believe her scent could still be there after 4 months but what do I know. Sometimes when he cuddles up with her blanket I start to cry again. On some level I know he still misses her and so do I.

I do accept and love Kasper for the adorable puppy he is and I am very grateful that he came into our lives but...still wish Zoe could be here too. If wishes were horses than.....

Anyway, wanted to stop by because I knew you would have answered my last post and you are still there for me. There are so many new people who have joined this circle of grief since my last visit only a few days ago. My heart goes out to all of them. It is so hard to lose someone you love this intensley and we here know that the loss of a furry person can cause as much pain as the loss of a human. Hope that made sense. Tired and going to sleep now but as always,
Wishing you a calm and peaceful weekend.

Hi, Joanne, thank you so much for letting us know how you're doing. I'm so glad your knee is doing so much better.

My Noah slept on his adopted big kitty brother's (Eli) comforter for close to 2.5 years before he finally "abandoned" it. And I waited several more weeks to make sure it was okay to wash it. So, Zack's behavior about Zoe's blanket is not unusual. Remember, our furkids' noses are more highly sensive to scents than ours, so Zack can still identify Zoe's scent. Zack will let you know when it's okay to change it / wash it. I do know how hard it is for you to see that Zack is still grieving for Zoe, but he is comforted by her blanket, and this is good. When I would find my Noah cuddled on Eli's comforter I would say to him, "Yes, Noah, your precious brother is here for you, and so am I. I love you, my little boy, and I am so proud of you. Pleasant dreams, my little one, my precious Noah." Eventually this helped to bring some comfort to my little Noah's heart, as well as letting him decide when he no longer needed Eli's comforter.

And yes, your observation makes all the sense in the world: " . . . we here know that the loss of a furry person can cause as much pain as the loss of a human." This is our refuge where we can come to share our brokenness for as long as we need to, where we can offer each other hope and comfort and encouragement - - where we do not have to put on the "public face" to satisfy the clueless and hostile "outside world" to our very real grief.

Joanne, I hope today is being kind to you, and I hope you will have a very peaceful evening. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, my friend, and look forward to knowing how you're doing whenever possible.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Hi to Moon-Beam and all,

Haven't been on the computer much lately because I have been having neck and back pain. Just too tired to write. Kasper is growing and doing well. He is so cute and smart. Zack is still trying to "explain" who is the boss but Schnauzers are stubborn little ones.

I still cry when I have to drive down the street leading to our court, where Zoe was killed. There is no other way to get to my house. I just keep imagining how horrible it must have been for her and how quickly she was taken from us. It had made me a more nervous mom. I am always afraid something will happen to Zack or Kasper. Hoping eventually to relax a bit more and just enjoy them.

Thinking of all of you and wishing you peace and healing.

Joanne

Hi, Joanne, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. I am so very s'orry you are having chronic back and neck pain. Chronic pain does have an adverse effect on the mind and spirit. I truly, truly do understand how you're feeling.

I also understand how you're feeling about Zack's and Kasper's safety. This is a part of the PTSD of losing your precoius Zoe so traumatically. Hopefully in time the anxiety you are now feeling will ease. I truly am very sorry you have no alternative route to your home to travel. Being constantly reminded of where your precious Zoe was physically taken from you is very traumatic. I know we had talked previously about you placing a little memorial at the site / or close to the site where the accident happened. This could be a plant or a little memorial plaque that fits close to the ground so that it would not be a negative reminder to your community but YOU would know as you passed the place - - a special memorial to your precious Zoe. I just wish there was some way you could do a "blessing" at the site - - something that might help to comfort your heart and spirit.

Joanne, thank you again so very much for sharing with us how you're doing. I do so know how some days are better than others, and how some days are still very much a challenge to endure the roller coaster of adjustment. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and that each of us are here for you - - whenever you need us. I will look forward to knownig how things are going for you whenever possible.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Doing better.

Going for CAT scan of the neck tomorrow to find out why the pain won't go away. I think if I ever retire it might get better.

Zack and Kasper are still having their loud, wild "play" at night. Kasper was neutered last wk and had to stay quiet and calm so Zack gave him a break. Now they are back at it.

I still think of Zoe every morning, night and when I am driving past the spot where she was killed. I guess I will miss her and think of her forever. She was just so special.

Don't get much time on the computer lately. Get too tired on work nights to write.
Still thinking of all of you and suggesting this site to my friends when they have a loss.

Have a peaceful weekend.
Joanne

Hi, Joanne, thank you so very much for sharing with us how you're doing. I am so very sorry you are still having so much pain in your neck. Chronic pain is deblilitating, and I'm very glad you are finally having a CT scan to try to find out why you are in continuous pain. Please let me know how things go, if you'd like to.

So Kasper has had his "manhood" surgery, and glad to know he is recuperating nicely. Unfortunately, yes, you will always miss your precious Zoe particularly since she was taken from you so tragically. But hopefully in time you will be able to focus on the many wonderful memories you share with her during her earthly journey with you, and will be comforted by them.

Joanne, thank you again so much for sharing with us how you're doing. Life here is getting back to a "normal" - - have been dealing with new computer "issues" the last few days and it has not been a particularly fun time. But at least I'm "functional" now, and that IS progress. Please know you are always in my thoughts and prayers, Joanne, and look forward to knowing how you're doing whenever possible.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Hi there,

Kasper is recovered from his surgery. Zack is still trying to teach him who is boss. I still miss Zoe every day. Nothing new here. I guess Zoe has just left a hole in my heart that will always be there. She was a wonderful companion. Zack has a different personality, of course, but I am so grateful for him and that he was not hit by the car at the same time she was. Kasper is a new little white angel-devil who has joined our family.

my thoughts and prayers go out to all of those who are here because of the grief of losing a furry child.

Joanne

Hi, Joanne. Thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. It is very difficult losing a beloved companion under any circumstances, but when we lose them under tragic events this does compound our grief. I hope you and your family are being able to enjoy this weekend. Your precious Zoe is still with you, she is forever with you. She is always a heartbeat close to you, Joanne.

Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and look forward to knowing how you're doing whenever possible.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Time to write today because I am out of work with severe back pain. I am on medications that are making me loopy so I hope I make sense.

Wanted to stop by to see how everyone is doing. Whether I am online or not you are in my thoughts and prayers. I still have sadness driving down the street where Zoe was killed and I have to drive it every time I leave my home to go anywhere. She was just such a huge part of my life and my heart.

Kasper is growing and very sweet. Problems getting him housebroken but hope we will complete that task soon. Zack still sleeps with Zoe's blanket at night. I know on some level he still misses his sister.

One day at a time it gets a tiny bit easier but then there are still the days when I backslide into that deep grief over her loss.-

Hi, Joanne, thank you so very much for sharing with us how you're doing. I am so very sorry you are continuing to be in chronic pain. This does not help you in your grief adjustment journey by any stretch of the imagination.

And of course having to drive the road where your beloved Zoe was killed also adds to your burden. I am so sorry there is no other route you can take, Joanne, because I know having to drive this road continues to make you relive the horror every time.

I know Kasper and Zack bring comfort to you, and I hope as your adjustment journey continues you will know your precious Zoe is at peace and wants your heart to be at peace as well.

I hope you will be able to get some relief from the chronic pain in your back - that would be a good start, wouldn't it. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Joanne, and look forward to knowing how you're doing whenever possible.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Hi Moon_beam.

Thanks so much for always answering my posts. It helps so much to know you are out there for me. I don't talk about Zoe with anyone else anymore because they would not understand that you can have other furchildren and still grieve for the one who is gone. Kasper is growing every day and he and Zack are doing better most of the time but I still miss Zoe.

I have been out of work due to the severe back pain I have had the last few days. I have been put on medications that are making me nutty. The pain and the nutty side effects are getting better and I hope to get back to work on Tues. Will get the results of my latest CAT on Thurs. I do believe there are times when our bodies say we have done enough for a while and we need to take a break and slow down.
The incidenece of illness in a surviving spouse in the first year after the other spouse's death is well documented. I wonder if anyone has ever looked at illness in the surviving parents of beloved pets who have died. Might be a good research project for someone.

This website is such a blessing for us all. I am always so grateful that you all are out there for me and hope you know I am here for you.

Dear JoanneL, I am so sorry for the loss of your Zoe - having a new fur kid in your life brings joy, but doesn't diminish your grief for the missing one, I don't really know why people expect it to, the people who think that are probably the same ones who say "just get another one" 5 minutes after your loss. I brought a new kitten into my life after losing my Mischief cat child of 17 yrs, my mother in law can't understand why I still cry about Mischief sometimes and I can't explain to her that I feel there will be days for the rest of my life where I cry for myself and my Mischief, no matter how many new loves come into my life. Ireally hope you get that back pain sorted, it's so wearing dealing with it every day (i have back and neck issues too) and i find at times it makes it harder to cope with everything...sending you some good energy today Leejaye

"The incidenece of illness in a surviving spouse in the first year after the other spouse's death is well documented. I wonder if anyone has ever looked at illness in the surviving parents of beloved pets who have died. Might be a good research project for someone."

Hi, Joanne, thank you so very much for sharing with us how you're doing. I am glad your chronic pain seems to be getting under control, and that the side effects of the meds are diminishing. I hope your return to work tomorrow is not too soon, and that the results of your CAT scan will help the doctors help you. I would be very interested in knowing what the doctors say, if you'd like to share it with me. I do so understand how debilitating living with chronic pain is.

Clinical studies have proven that the stress of grieving does take a physical toll on the body. It lowers the immune system which then makes the body more susceptible to illness, and it increases the debilitation of already existing conditions - - heart disease, arthritis, chronic pain, etc.. Clinical professionals agree that the same physical toll is for all types of loss - - regardless of the experience - - but particularly when one has lost the physical presence of a loved one - - whatever the life form. So what you are going through, my friend, is very normal under the circumstances. This is why you must take extra special care of yourself.

Joanne, it is an honor for me to be here for you to try to offer you comfort and encouragement in your adjustment journey with Zoe. I still miss my little kitty friend Willie from when I was a little girl - - and each of my beloved companions who are now with the angels who have shared different times in my earthly journey. Missing them does not diminish the love you have for the precious companions who are with you now - - but they in no way can "take the place" of our beloved companions who are with the angels. So, please know you will always have open arms here to share whatever is in your heart and on your mind.

I hope today is being kind to you, and that when you go back to work tomorrow your job will not "undo" the good that being home and resting has done for you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Joanne, and look forward to knowing how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

I went to the doctor on Thurs 8/11. I had been very sick all last week and could not figure out why. I knew coming off only 5 days of Prednisone could not have done it but luckily I have a very smart doctor. When certain medications are given in combination people can develop something called Seratonin syndrome. I had a mild case because it can actually lead to death. He had me stop my regular pain med for 24 hrs and I can't say I was in good shape at work on Friday but I was better. By yesterday at work I actually could function normally. I know that is off the subject but I had never heard of Seratonin syndrome except in it's most serious form and did not realize just increasing the dose of the pain med + having been on Prednisone could bring it on so fast.

Anyway, as always missing Zoe today. We marked Kasper's 7 month birthday last week but also 7 months on 8/10 since Zoe was killed. I was too upset to post here. I cry every time I post and knew it would be much harder that day.

Just wanted to stop by and check in. As always I am so grateful for the support I get here. I rarely mention Zoe to anyone else any more.

Joanne

Hi, Joanne, thank you so very much for sharing with us how you're doing. Thank goodness for your doctor!!!! I'm so glad you are beginning to feel better - - as better as circumstances can be.

I don't think there is one time when I log in here that I don't read something that brings tears to my eyes, or finds me sobbing - - either for the pain that is reflected in someone's deep sorrow, and that some of what is shared surfaces within me a shared sorrow with my beloved companions. So, Joanne, please know you are not alone with your tears. Let them flow, my friend, and please know you are among friends here who truly do understand.

I hope today is being kind to you and that you will have a very peaceful evening. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and look forward to knowing how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Can't sleep and have to get up for work in a few hours. Zoe is a very strong presence with me today but I still miss having her here on earth with me. I love my other babies but still just having a very hard time missing her. She was my little girl friend. Just so sweet and loving.

I am trying to make some major decisions about what to do with my life in the next few months and guess I just wish she was here for moral support. This week in August has been a bad one for me for the past 6 years for reasons I won't get into here. I am always more emotional and have trouble sleeping this week. (Nothing to do with Zoe). Just working through something that happened 6 yrs ago this week.

Anyway, thanks for "listening" and being there for me. I knew I could count on you.

Hi, Joanne, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. There is no way we can "turn off" the memories of important events in our lives. When we are faced with some major decision making, our precious companions are always there to help us through the process, to comfort us when the decisions are difficult, and to share with us whatever road our earthly journey takes. So, it is natural that you would be missing your beloved Zoe.

I hope today is being kind to you, that you are feeling better with your back, and that you will have a peaceful evening. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Joanne, and look forward to knowing how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Hi Moon-Beam

Lots of heavy rain here today and most likely where you are also. Made it hard to get the dogs out because of the rain and lightning. One more day off this weekend before I have to go back to work. Not a bad weekend grief wise.

Of course, I think of Zoe every day but I also think seeing Zack every day reminds me how much we miss his sister. He is having really bad allergy problems and has been miserable. We are doing everything the vet said to do but it upsets me to see him uncomfortabe. I feel so helpless but I can't cure allergies. Thankfully the Lyme disease is better and his allergies will eventually get better too. We are still sleeping with Zoe's blanket. I say goodnight to her every night when Zack curls up with her blanket. Someday we will let it go but not yet.

Hope you are having a peaceful weekend and glad you are here for all of us.

Hi, Joanne, thank you so much for sharing with us how you and Zack are doing. Allergies are so very hard to treat because they can literally be caused by so many different things, the only way to try to bring some relief is to treat the symptoms. Hopefully soon your precious Zack will be feeling better.

I hope your back is feeling better these days. There is no "time limit" as to how long you and your precious Zack sleep with Zoe's blankets or toys or collar or - - whatever. It has been 17 months since my beautiful baby girl Abbygayle joined the angels, and my Noah still finds comfort in curling up on her towel. So, just do what is comforting for you and your precious Zack.

I hope life is treating you kindly, Joanne, and thank you again so much for sharing with us how you're doing. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers and look forward to knowing how you're doing whenever possible.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Thinking of all of you on the East Coast of the US. We got hit with Huricaine Irene Sat night and lost power for 2 days. Could not get the dogs out to potty but we dealt with it.

Had 2 epidural spine injections yesterday and needing less pain meds today. Zoe was right with me in spirit when I was on the table waiting for the needles. She is always with me.

Hope everyone is doing well.
Joanne

Hi, Joanne, thank you so very much for sharing with us how you're doing. So glad to know that you have power once again (I assume since you are able to share with us today). My heart goes out to you and the many thousands of people who are now struggling with the effects of Irene's destruction.

I'm so glad the epidurals seem to be helping you today, and hope that they will continue to provide you relief. Another friend of mine is also enduring the agony of a herniated disk, and is waiting for her appointment next week to have an epidural injection. I hope this treatment will give you some much needed relief. I know your beloved Zoe is forever with you, and am so very glad you feel her sweet Living Spirit with you at all times.

I hope life is treating you kindly, Joanne. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, my friend, and look forward to sharing with you how you're doing whenever possible.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Hi to all of my L-S friends,

Weather much better here than last week but the remnants of Hurricaine Lee on the way. So hard to get the dogs out when weather is bad. They did well when we did not have electricity.

Almost 8 months since Zoe was killed. Kasper is not actually related to her but has a lot of her qualities. He is very affectionate like she was but still a puppy with the need for training. Kasper's 8 month birthday is Friday and anniversary of her death is Saturday.

I am feeling much better since I had the epidural injections last week. Don't look forward to the procedure but they have always helped me. Actually was able to do some of the puppy's training in his class yesterday.

Still cry when I open a drawer and find Zoe's pictures. Just so glad she was part of our family even for a short time.

Have a good Labor Day and wishing all of you peace.

Hi, Joanne, thank you so much for sharing with us how you and your little Kasper are doing. Hope Zack is doing well, too. When we lose a companion tragically, it takes a very long time for the sorrow to ease. I am so very sorry that your beloved Zoe was taken from you so tragically, Joanne.

I'm glad the epidurals are helping you with the chronic pain. This is helpful, for being in chronic pain is both physically and emotionally debilitating. I hope the effects of this treatment continue help you.

Joanne, thank you so much for sharing your beloved Zoe with us. I hope this weekend has been kind to you, and that you will have a very peaceful evening. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Joanne, and look forward to knowing how you're doing whenever possible.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Eight month anniversary yesterday.

Could not bring myself to sign on here yesterday but I did think about Zoe all day. I was busy at work most of the day but in the quiet times that I had I was remembering her and missing her so much. I still see the image of her after she was hit by the car and when the doctor brought her to us in a blanket to say our good byes to her. There is just a part of this family that is missing and always will be.

The days and nights are easier as time passes. I don't cry as often and I do take much pleasure in the 2 little ones we have-Zack and Kasper.

Just wanted to stop by and remember Zoe in writing on this site that has helped me get through the months since her death.

Thanks

Joanne

"I still see the image of her after she was hit by the car and when the doctor brought her to us in a blanket to say our good byes to her."

Hi, Joanne, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing, and your and Zoe's 8 month angel-versary. I can so relate to the trauma of your last visual memory of your beloved Zoe, for different traumatic reasons. I promise you that in time the seering pain of this memory will decrease. With my particular situation I did not believe that horror of my experience would ever ease, but through the years it has. The memory is still there - - but the pain associated with it has eased. I hope in time you will be able to say the same thing.

I hope today is treating you kindly, Joanne, and thank you so much for sharing your beloved Zoe with us. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and look forward to knowing how you're doing whenever possible.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Today is Zack's 4th birthday and would have been Zoe's 4th also. I have been singing to him and actually was able to look at the little box where Zoe's cremains are. I wished her a Happy Birthday too. I so wish she was still here with me. It is so different with the dynamics between Zack and Kasper. Life had gotten so much easier since we had been well past the puppy stage with them. They were very comfortable with each other.

I know that "If wishes were horses then beggers would ride" but I wish I could turn back the clock. So many other members here wish the same thing. "If only.,.." Well I am grateful for Kasper and Zack. One day they will learn to live in harmony. Kasper is back in school. He started an intermediate class today but I could not get there. My husband took him. I will be working the next 2 Sat and we will both miss class the week after that. Kasper is fine around the house but skittish with other dogs. He needs to be around dogs other than Zack.

Going to the cemetary tomorrow to wish my father a Happy 100th birthday. He has been gone for 10 years and would have turned 100 last Wed. The weather has been cold and gloomy and I could really use some warm sun. Maybe it won't rain tomorrow.

Anyway, have a peaceful rest of the weekend. Hope you are doing well.

Hi, Joanne, thank you for sharing with us how you, Zack, and Kasper are donig, and for sharing your beloved Zoe's birthday with us. I'm so glad you have Zack with you, for in a way your precious Zack is still a physical connection to your beloved Zoe.

I hope the weather is being kind to you as you visit your dad's resting place today. It has turned cold and gloomy here in Virginia this weekend - - a preview to the upcoming events of autumn and winter. I'm already looking forward to spring.

Thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing, Joanne. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and always look forward to knowing how you're doing whenever possible.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

What a crazy weather day! We have had an earthquake, hurricane and now snow storm before Halloween. Very strange weather.

I wanted to post an update. I retired from work yesterday. I have been working for over 35 years with very little time for me. I am looking forward to taking care of me, dogs and the house. Husband doesn't need caretaking, thankfully. Things are getting better with time. I still miss Zoe and get teary every now and then but not as often. Kasper still has so many of the same qualities she had and Zack is nothing like her even though he was her brother.

Maybe now I can stop by and see how everyone else here is doing.

Take care and stay warm if you are in a cold place tonight.

Joanne

Hi, Joanne, thank you so very much for sharing with us how you're doing. Congratulations on your retirement from employment!!! I specify that because you are not retiring from life - - just reappropriating your time from what you were doing working. I wish you the very best, Joanne.

Watching Kasper grow and seeing his personality develop similar to your beloved Zoe is one of Zoe's ways of letting you know she is still with you -- forever with you - - and I hope you are finding comfort in this. It is not uncommon for siblings to be opposites of one another - - as they compliment one another's personality. Niether Kasper nor Zack will ever replace the part of your heart that belongs only to your beloved Zoe. They each have their own special place in your heart, and your beloved Zoe is so glad they are with you to offer you comfort and joy.

Thank you again so much for sharing your good news with us, Joanne. I hope today is treating you and your precious Zack and Kasper kindly. Please know you and your precious furkids are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I look forward to knowing how things are going for you and sharing your treasured memories of your beloved Zoe whenever possible.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Thanks for your good wishes on my retirement. So much of the stress has gone from my days. Still having back pain but at least now I can take care of myself.

We have just passed the 10 month date of Zoe's tragic death. I still cry when I see her picture but don't cry as often as I used to. Trying to train Kasper-he is so nervous and fearful when out of the house or when other people come in to visit. We are taking him to classes to socialize him and he is a little better. He and Zack can now curl up together on the couch without Zack giving him a fit. He still follows Zack and looks up to him-so cute.

Hope everyone is well. Thinking of all of you and wishing you peace.

Joanne

Hi, Joanne, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. I'm so glad retirement is giving you some benefit to your health in reducing the stress levels. This by itself is a soo oo good.

I'm glad Kasper is doing well with his classes, and that Zack is becoming more tolerant of his little brother. This, too, will help reducing the stress levels for you.

I know how difficult the angel-versaries are, Joanne. I hope you feel your beloved Zoe reaching across the veil of physical separation continuing to fill your heart with her eternal love.

Thank you again for sharing with us how you're doing, Joanne. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and look forward to knowing how things are going for you whenever possible.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Hi Joanne,

Congratulations on your retirement! That is a huge transition after working for so many years. I hope your back pain improves.

My thoughts are with you on the 10 month angel-versary of your precious little girl. Though time helps to ease the pain, it does not take it away.

Glad to learn that Kasper and Zack have become friends. Hope the classes continue to help.

Wishing you a peaceful Thanksgiving.
With gratitude,
Lynne

so sorry for your pain. its awful people telling you not just get another one. she was a person and to grieve her like the person she was to you might help give her death some meaning and dignity but i can't image how you must feel. i hope your partner too was as attached and can help each other with pain

11 months today since we lost Zoe.

I cried for her again last night when I remembered the date. We had been out celebrating several family birthdays and I was up late. Once I realized it was after midnight I started thinking about Zoe again. Of course I think about her every day but it is true that the special dates still make it harder to deal with her loss. She will always be in my heart and I will always wish she had been with us longer.

Wanted to stop by and share with any of you here who might read this post. Things do get easier. I am never sorry that we got Kasper so soon after Zoe's death. He is so funny and sweet but also a challenge trying to socialize. Things are just different. Zack does not treat him the way he treated Zoe and Kasper, of course, has his own personality and will try to stir things up with Zack almost every evening. He is still only a puppy and wants to play with Zack.
Hope every one here is doing as well as possible. The holidays are a hard time for people in grief so the next few weeks will probably be a challenge.

Wishing everyone a blessed holiday season.