My baby is gone. All my boys are gone. I'll tell more later.
-Donna

dear donna, please forgive me for not having responded a lot sooner. ive only returned to this site not too long ago as its been very hard for me to read all the sad, heart-wrenching posts that we have all written. Let me say how very sorry i am for your loss. its so fresh and can just imagine how your heart is breaking into so many pieces. please know that buck is in heaven now. his beautiful wings have sprouted and he is sending you his love from up above. i believe that there will be a day when you will be reunited with all your wonderful furbabies. i know it and i feel it. we need to hold on to something right? because without hope what else do we have? i also believe that our four-legged family members are a gift from up above. They are loaned to us for such a short time yet i know in my heart that they are welcomed back with open arms for they are missed up above as well. please take comfort in that. for now take it one breathe at a time ok? be kind to yourself. and please accept a big hug from my lucy and ethel and myself
you are in my thoughts and prayers
patricia

Donna,

I am so sorry. Just keep remembering what a wonderful life you gave Buck... what a lucky dog!

I am praying that you and your husband find comfort in knowing that you did everything you could for Buck.

Rhapsedy

Dear Buck,

They miss you. They'll always love you.


Dear Donna and family,

There is no comfort at a time like this. The sadness and empty house can be torturous. Buck is no longer suffering. I, like others, am sorry for your loss.

Dennis
"Strive to be the kind of person your dog thinks you are."

Donna,

I am so sorry for the loss of your beautiful Buck. I am at a loss for words of comfort because I know nothing I can say would help the emptyness in your home tonight. I can only relate to the loss I felt to come close to knowing the loss you feel. I had only one loss to grieve & you've now had three in such a short time.

Hopefully you will be able to somehow embrace the two kitties that need you now. Whether you feel it at this time or not, you may need them also.

Ginger

Oh my, Buck's journey on Earth has come to an end. He's comfortable now, no more pain or discomfort of any kind. You and your husband are the ones who will be taking on this pain now. You're not alone, so many of us feel what you're going through. And to be fur-friendless, it's a sad, sad home...I was there just recently and adopted a cat because I couldn't take it anymore. Hugs to you Donna!!!
Kelly

Donna-

I am so so sorry for your loss of your beautiful Buck. You and he fought a hard battle, but in the end, his poor body just gave out. I know all too well what it is like to have an empty house now, and it is awful. I wish that somehow we could all wave a magic wand and take away your pain, but sadly, we cannot. All we can do is offer you tons of love, and a place to come and weep on our shoulders when you need to.

All love to you and your husband--

Margi and SpiritWolf

Thank you so much, Kelly, Ginger, Dennis, Rhapsedy, Patricia, and Margi. I know you know my heartache. I'm still a little numb. He's buried now. It was a peaceful passing. He was not able to get up on his back legs as of this afternoon. His numbers were skyhigh before they started the fluids. They had spiked over the weekend again. And while they did come down a little with the fluids, he wasn't passing the fluid at all. The vet said his kidneys were shutting down. He urinated a small amount after he got home but he should've been producing buckets given the amount of fluids he'd taken in today. His gums and tongue were pale and his eyes were weak. But, darn it, that tail was wagging and he was catching the golf ball from a lying down position right up until the vet got here. His body was tired even though he wasn't. I think the only way we could've ever have gotten "the look" from him would have been after we'd taken it too long.
The vet said the next steps for Buck were coma and/or seizures. We just couldn't take that risk. I told him we'd go to bed early tonight so he could rest. I asked him to never leave us even though he would leave his body. I asked him to protect his yard forever and to sleep with us every night in the "big bed." We haven't slept without him in 10 years. And at least one of us has been with him every single night for at least the last 4 years as we haven't travelled overnight so we wouldn't leave him.
He was a handsome boy tonight. He sat up proud and strong in his yard. There was a gentle breeze. Later, after he was gone, I sat next to him and talked to him but I had the distinct feeling that he wasn't in that body anymore. I told the brothers before he passed to let him get on the couch with them. I'm sure Frasier is slapping Buck's snout right now. My boys are together again. I can't believe I've lost my family in 10 months. 8/27/09, 3/19/10, and 6/7/10 - I wouldn't play the lottery with those numbers. My boys are gone. I'm not going to clean his things away quickly like I did Niles'. I waited with Frasier's things and I know now that is the way for me to go. I regret cleaning up after Niles so quickly. I still have so many issues to resolve about his death. I fear the grief that may overtake me now. I haven't fully grieved for Niles. And now I add Buck.
For those of you who encouraged me to skip work, I'm taking tomorrow off. I'll be alone but I'm sure I'll be on the forum. I think I need some quiet time.
Oh, the emptiness. There's so many holes. His presence in this house was overwhelming. We haven't had a conversation, my husband and I, in forever where Buck didn't get involved somehow. Demanding attention or food. He was the best.
I love you Buck. Sweet dreams, big man. Stay close. - Mommy
-Donna

Donna
I am so very, very sorry to hear about Buck. I haven't been around the forum much as I found it to be too painful sometimes to read of everyone's pain and sadness at the loss of their beloved pets. Today it's exactly 6 months that Sammy is gone. It's getting better - but then when I read posts like yours it brings it all back again. I wish I could take your pain away. I just try and tell myself that the joy our pets brought into our lives far, far outweighs the sorrow of their passing - even though at the time you feel you're going to go crazy with grief.

Again - my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

Take care
Sharon

Oh Donna I am so very sorry for your loss. I can relate to what you say about Buck being such an important part of your marriage. My Opie was the same. We focused all our attention on him, he was the main staple of our relationship. Now things are so different. But slowly, you do get into the new routine.
Buck is at peace now and with his brothers.
Again, I am so sorry for your loss.

In the words of James Taylor:

"I've seen fire and I've seen rain
I've seen sunny days that I thought would never end
I've seen lonely times when I could not find a friend
But I always thought I'd see you again..."

"He took my heart and ran with it, and I hope he's running still, fast and strong, a piece of my heart bound up with his forever"
-- dog quote by Patricia McConnell, For The Love of A Dog

buck has a piece of your heart forever and he will never leave your side. may you find peace and be comforted thru these most difficult times!
patricia

Dear Donna

I went to bed with a heavy heart as I knew what you were about to go through. This morning I prepared myself for what I would read, but the tears are flowing for you all. Your dear Buck tried his hardest to stay with you all for as long as he could, but there's only so much that precious body of his could take. Bless him, remember he was happy and playing and having the best possible care and treatments, right up to the end. You gave him the chance by trying the fluids, but sadly it was time for him to move on. He will always be with you, along with your precious Frasier and Niles. They will have been there for him, to welcome him to the next phase of existence where they can play and watch over you and be healed from all pain and suffering.
Donna, I know right now nothing we can say will stop the pain and emptyness that you and your husband are feeling, but we are all here for you whenever you need us. I'm so pleased to see that you got the day off work and I will keep popping in to ' chat' to see if you feel you need to talk. If not I fully understand, but I'll be there just in case, time differences apart.
I send my prayers and hugs for you.

Thniking of you
Jan and my Angels and Pixie.xx

Click to view attachment
Angel Buck 6/7/2010
Donna
I am so sorry want you to know I am thinking of you and your husband at this difficult time. Wish I could be there
to give you both a big hug. Dennis mentioned to go to rainbow bridge to light a candle I want to post one here for
Buck. Please know we are all here for you and can feel your pain. We all here become part of each other and come to
know and love each others angels.

Hugs
xoxo
Anna and My Angels

Hi Donna,

I am so sorry for your loss. I know you did all you could for Buck. He was a very lucky dog to have been adopted by you and your husband. You gave him such a wonderful life, with years of joy and fun (some dogs are not so lucky). I know how hard it it to lose the battle and to have gone through it three times in such a short period is very difficult. Your boys are reunited once again and are healthy and happy. They are in God's hands and there is no better place to be.

You are in my thoughts and prayers.
God Bless
Karen

Thank you everyone. I'm home alone. Well, Daphne & Sera are here but whatever. There's a huge black hole right around me. It's the hole that Buck left. Oh, how much I talked to him during the day. We would talk about his daddy and how much we love him. We would talk about how he shouldn't lick his elbows. I would apologize for not being as fun as his daddy. I would sew up some of his toys he'd ripped open. He would watch me do it as if that particular toy was his all time favorite. And just like a child, he'd play with it for all of 30 seconds after I was done and then move on. He would rub on the back of the couch just to make me mad.
We buried him with his golf ball and his stuffed soccer ball. I miss the sound of the squeeker in that ball. It was comforting to hear it from another room. I would know he was entertaining himself. He has a mound, and I do mean a mound, of toys. My husband would buy something everytime we were out if I would let him. We'd name each toy. Buck would remember the names until they ended up in the bottom of the basket. The basket is next to me at the computer. I don't plan to move anything today. You all know. Everything that stares at you and yells at you when you walk by - the food bowls, his blankets, his mat outside, his toys, his brush, his basket of supplies, his medicines, his whole life - staring at me. I don't feel like I have any muscles in my face. Like it's paralyzed in a sad look. My husband didn't sleep well. He didn't finish burying him until 10:30 last night. His t-shirt and jeans were completely drenched with sweat. He just threw them away. He wept when he got in bed. It's hard to see a man cry. I feel guilty that I'm off of work when he can't be. I wish I could take all the hurt away for him and put it on me. He buried his best friend. I just wish I could take it away.
I'm being hit by a wave at this moment. The loss, the incredible loss. Buck was perfect for us. The vet looked at him last night when he got here and said, "he's an increcible dog. It's too bad they don't live as long as we do because he's one of the ones you'd really want to." He was our son. He was our son. I know time will heal and memories will comfort but HE WAS OUR SON! It would've been so easy to lay down with him and go with him. My son.
I've gotta go.
-Donna

Oh Donna, my heart is breaking reading your story about your loss, especially reading about your husband doing the burial. My husband did the same thing with our lil' Zoe. I was in a complete daze while he was digging her spot, I think I was almost in denial, I couldn't believe that my Zoe was gone. We had just finished a relaxing evening walk, that she/we so much loved. I couldn't believe in a spilt second she was taken from me. I want you to know that everyone in these forums know the horrible pain and emptiness your are feeling right now. It's ok Donna, whatever you feel and however long you feel it, it's ok. Buck will live forever in your heart.
Take care of yourself.
You are not alone.
Deanna

Good for you, Donna, for being able to post here as soon after this "event" as you are. I did too--I didn't want to lost my thread of connection to these wonderful people.

It sounds as if you "set the stage" for the perfect passing for Buck. I know how painful that must have been for you, having just gone through it myself. I feel for your husband, who is obviously suffering as much as you are. And, of course, I feel deeply for you. Buck was one-of-a-kind, not just to you, but to your vet, and to all of us. I know that feeling of paralysis--I didn't feel it with Lady's passing, but I've felt it other times. It's a natural part of grieving, painful as it is.

I did laugh when you said that you told him not to lick his elbows--ever the good mom!

I wish I had more profound things to say to you, but they all sound like cliches sometimes. Buck is free of pain now--that is NOT a cliche. His poor body just gave out, finally, and you couldn't hold him here any longer, and were wise and compassionate enough to recognize that. You did a great service for Buck, and saved yourself from a passing that might have been incredibly difficult for all of you. I am so, so sorry.

Keep o posting as you are--it'll do you a world of good, believe me. I did the same, posted all evening and the day after Ladywolf died. It was the only way I could keep my sanity!

Big Hugs and much love to you--

Margi and the Spiritwolf

Donna
I'm so sorry. It sounds like you made it as comfortable as possible for him with the vet coming to the house (I did not know they would do that) and having some quality time with him beforehand. And you had the assurance from the blood work and his condition to know for sure that the time had come. I wish I had been that sure and had a better setting for my sweet kitty-I'll never know for sure. I hope that you can somehow take some comfort from Daphne and Sera. I know you have been so focused on Buck that it has been difficult with the new kitties and you are probably not ready but I'm sure they sense your sadness. Try to get some rest today and be good to yourself.

Oh Donna, I am so sad for you, I know how you fought for Buck every inch of the way, until you could do no more. May he rest in peace with his buddies xx

madi xx

Oh Donna, I'm so sorry for your loss. I know what it's like to lose pets close together. The ONLY consolation is that Buck, Fasier and Niles are all together again. I feel so sad for you and your DH, look after yourselves.

Irene xx

Oh Donna, I am so sorry. I totally understand...in Brutus' head he thought he was immortal, but the body just didn't cooperate.

Hugs to you and your husband and your beautiful angel Buck,
Sonya

dear donna. you are in my thoughts and prayers. - patricia

Dear Donna,

There are no words. I know you are going through the rawest of pain right now. You feel like someone has ripped your insides out. You feel like you will never get over this. You are not sure if you even want to. All you can do right now - is breathe. As hard as it is, as much as it hurts - just keep breathing. Take each moment at a time. If you want to scream, scream. If you want to cry, cry. If you want to sit there and stare into space, sit there and stare into space. Try to drink plenty of water, grieving and crying takes its toll on your body and can dehydrate you easily. Don't worry about food too much right now, I know it will be impossible to get down. But if you can, just try to force a few bites of cracker etc. Your mind, body, and soul will be going through hell right now.

Try not to think too much. Push "what ifs" etc out of your mind. Don't think, just let yourself feel what you need to feel. Again, take each moment at a time.

You are in all our thoughts and prayers.

Cheryl

Cheryl, thank you. And thank you to everyone. Cheryl, your description of what I'm feeling could have been written by me. You captured it right on. I'm just wandering around the house like a zombie. I pick things up and put them down. I go to do things and then don't do them. I can't breathe sometimes. There's a wet blanket of depression draped over me. It's so heavy.
Being this is the third time, I feel flogged. Beaten down. And who would I talk to during this? Buck. But I can't. Not the way I need to.
You're right about the dehydration and I'm especially concerned about my husband. I know he's not drinking enough water at work today. I'm worried about him. And yes, food just isn't in the picture. I haven't eaten but a few bites since noon yesterday. My breakfast is still sitting on the stove. And it's 2:00 p.m.
My head hurts, my eyes are swollen, my mouth is dry. I hate this.
-Donna

I know, Donna. I hate that you're going through this. I hate that we all have to go through this.

Just focus on those two things for now: breathing and hydrating. When the loss is as raw as it is right now, that's all you can do. Try to encourage your husband to drink more water. It will be even harder to cope with things and focus if he is dehydrated. I bet you have a pounding headache too? Again... water, and if it gets really bad take some painkillers.

Remember to breathe. Remember we are all thinking of you and going through this with you.

Hugs, Cheryl X

My dear friend, Donna, I'm home from work now and am getting caught up on posts. My ISP went down last night and that was aggravating because I couldn't access anything.

I am so, so very sorry about Buck. My heart sank when I read the topic header, and I'm sharing in your tears and heartbreak. As comforting as it is to know he's at peace now with Frasier and Niles it doesn't fill the dark void of having yet another adjustment to make as you continue in your journey on this side of eternity.

I still have Oslo's basket of toys out where they always were - - haven't been able to put them away - - may never put them away - - as well as a few of his other things. Do whatever feels comforting for you, Donna.

I know that this grief journey is a one day at a time journey, and that it can only be traveled in your own way and at your own pace. But whatever that pace is, Donna, and for however long it takes, please know you really are not alone. We are here to hold you up when you feel you don't have the strength to carry on and can't bear the burden of your sorrow any longer. We are here for you to scream at when your heart is filled with anger and frustration. We are here to embrace you when words are impossible because of the gut wrenching tears. We are here to listen when you just need to talk. And we are here to try to offer you comfort and encouragement as best as we can each step of the way.

Donna, please know you and your husband are in my thoughts and prayers, my dear friend, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Hi Donna
I understand how you would love to take away your husbands pain. Us as women even try to bare the pain of everyone around us that we love. When they hurt we hurt even more. I to couldnt stand to see my husband sobbing out of control. The day we brought Dozer ashes home my husband went in the bedroom and just held them and cried and cried. He said he had lost his best buddy. He talked to those ashes as if Dozer was laying in his arms. Telling him that he wanted him to know he would have done anything to save him. So I know exactly what you are going through watching your husband. These angels were are children they depended on us more so then our 2 legged ones. When you raise them from little babies, wipe up thier poop potty train them to go outside love them unconditional nurture them when they are sick, our lives will never be the same without them. We all here are a special breed of people. There are true animal people and there are people who just have them. We are the ones who truely loved and made them our family. That is why god blessed us with the angels we had, he knew we would take the best possible care of them. Each and everyone one of us did everything humanly possible to love and take care of them. I am thinking of you and your husband. Please tell him I am so sorry for his loss also.

Hugs to you Both
Anna and My Angels
xoxo

Thank you again for your words of comfort. No one but y'all could possibly offer the support that you do and I am eternally grateful to you all. As you know, it just helps so much to hear someone else put into words exactly how you feel. It makes it feel a little less lonely. I have finally taken a shower so I feel physically better. There's so much that needs to be done around the house but I just can't. Things that I'd like to have done before my husband gets home. Dinner being one of those things!
Here are a couple of my favorite pictures of Buck. I love the closeup one. And the one at the beach was from 4 years ago. It was his only trip to the beach and I am so happy that he got to go. That picture depicts the love and bond my husband and he had, I think. For 11 1/2 years, our lives were content just serving Buck. What a gift he was and is. I've sent a thank you note to the people I got him from to let them know and to thank them for the precious gift they gave. I believe he is the last of his litter to go. That makes me proud of my boy!

Click to view attachment

Click to view attachment

Donna
It is true true pictures are worth a thousand words. Also makes me think how just the other day my husband said he is so
sad that we never got to take dozer to the beach he loved the water. We were planning to take him this summer. We got
our camper all fixed up and had planned to take it and him this year. Dozer loved the water he would get in the pool all the
time with my husband. I am so glad that your buck got to go and you have the pictures and beautiful memories to cherish.
Your angel was so pretty Donna. I know you just miss him to pieces. What a wonderful life our Angels had. None of us should have any guilt when I see everyones pictures posted here. The pictures tell a story and show the love and bond that we had with them. That bond reaches far from this world and will never die. We will always share the bond spiritual even if we can not see or touch them.

Hugs
Anna

Beautiful. And just look at those happy eyes. A dog well-loved. :-)

Cheryl X

Dear Donna, what wonderful pictures of your handsome Buck. He knows that he is loved forever even though he is no longer physically with you and your husband. I pray that you will feel his sweet Living Spirit with you, always with you, wherever you go and whatever you do.

What you are going through physically and emotionally is very normal - - the wandering, the absent-mindedness, the lack of strength to do just the minimal of physical activity, the need to put all your strength - - literally - - into just focusing, the lack of appetite. Your mind and your body are in a state of shock, Donna, from everything that you have been through over the last several weeks, and months. It will be important to try to keep the stress levels as low as possible for awhile, even though I know that will be a challenge with having to go to work, etc..

It never ceases to amaze me how "life goes on" in spite of the fact that our lives are disintegrating around us wondering however on earth we are ever going to just get through the next minute - - and wondering why there should be a "next minute" at all.

Donna, I wish there were words that I could write that would help you to better know what is in my heart. I can only hope that somehow as you read my posts you will be able to read between the lines and feel the sincerest sorrow that I share with you in your loss of Buck and Niles and Frasier, and the sincerest friendship that is reaching out to you across the miles.

Donna, my friend, you and your husband are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Anna, Cheryl, Moonbeam, thank you so much. Doesn't it make you feel good when someone else talks about how pretty your furbaby is? Moonbeam, I do hear you. I do get your comfort and understanding. It means more than words can ever tell. I would have gone insane over the last several months without this forum. I've never seen anything like it. Thank you for your words of comfort. It is so much appreciated.
-Donna

Donna, the photos of your darling Buck are wonderful. What a beautiful, happy boy. I'm so glad that you have posted them for us to see. It's time for bed for me now. I will say special prayers for you and your husband and your darling Angels Frasier, Niles and Buck, who together will be watching over you. I know that this will have been the most dreadful day for you and your husband. Look after yourselves, the household chores can wait. I do hope that tomorrow brings you a little more peace. Keep posting the photos , I know it helps, and we all love to see them.
Good Night and God bless.
Love and hugs
Jan and my Angels and Pixie xx

Donna...I am so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine what you are going through having lost all of your boys in a year. I'm glad to hear that you decided to take some time for yourself. Sometimes it helps to re-center yourself, so that you can get through the coming days.

Although there is absolutely nothing that anyone can say to make things better...know that you are in my thoughts and prayers...

Dee

Donna...I am so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine what you are going through having lost all of your boys in a year. I'm glad to hear that you decided to take some time for yourself. Sometimes it helps to re-center yourself, so that you can get through the coming days.

Although there is absolutely nothing that anyone can say to make things better...know that you are in my thoughts and prayers...

Dee

Love the pics Donna....Buck so reminds me of Brutus...I understand how hard it is to breathe right now for you and your husband...I really do..Hugs is all I can say...I am thinking and praying for you both. I am hoping there really is a rainbow bridge and Brutus, Oslo,Poppers, and Callaway were all there to welcome Buck. Labs all together again.

Love,
Brutus' Mom

Jan, Dee, and Sonya, thank you for your kind words. And for the compliments on Buck's pictures. It's very quiet tonight in our home. We're just being washed over and over with the realization that Buck was so much a part of every little thing. We have been discussing all the things we did for him over the years. But everything we did for him, we did for ourselves because he was the blessing. What a special man he was! All of our furbabies are special. I appreciate everyone reaching out to me but I hate that the reason you can all do it is because you've been or still are where I am tonight. The hurt is suffocating at best. Letting go of our routines and considering him with everything is beyond hard. There just aren't words for the process you go through to get to the new normal. Normal, there's a word.
I'll go back to work tomorrow. So many changes this week. I'm going to bed. Thank you all again. Your friendship is awesome.
-Donna

oh gosh, I'm at work & I just checked the temperature outside to see if I needed to go home to let Buck inside.
-Donna

I know just how you feel.
For the longest time I would open the front door slowly because Opie would always be right there waiting for me when I got home. I would even swear I felt his paws pressing against the door as I opened it. But he's not there.
At first there are so many things that remind you of your furbaby. Every single thing I did would involve Opie. It has taken these last 3 months to slowly get used to him not being here. I still cry every day. I miss him so much.
Take care.

Dear Donna, It's almost 2:45 p.m. here in Virginia, and I'm getting caught up on your posts. One of the many very hardest things to adjust to is what to do with the time that was filled with Buck, Frasier, and Niles. You find yourself feeling so empty and aimless - - drifting without a purpose. "Normal" really has a fluctuating definition. Whoever thought of this word anyway? It's applied to so many things. My definition of "normal" now is "whatever seems to be happening at the moment" because I really can't depend on anything staying the same for any prolonged period of time.

Donna, it's so good that you and your husband are being able to talk about and share the memories you have of your precious boys. And I hope you will feel the comfort in your hearts they are still your boys - - always your boys - - forever - - wherever you go and whatever you do they are always with you, always and forever a very integral part of you which neither time nor temporary physical separation can ever change or take away from you.

Please know you and your husband are in my thoughts and prayers, Donna, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Hi, Donna, just checking in with you to see how you and your husband are doing, and just to let you know that you are close in my thoughts and prayers.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Donna,

I'm so sorry to hear of Buck's passing. There is nothing that can compare to the hurt and longing that we have when our beloved pets leave us. I believe that we will see them in heaven again.

Misha'smom -Karen

Thinking of you Donna. Sending Hugs to you and your husband and your darling Angels.

Love Jan and my Angels and Pixie xx

Thank you all for thinking of me. I was off the forum yesterday because I just didn't want to turn the computer on and then find I'd done nothing else but sit at the computer. I need some decompression time. I'm trying to sit quietly and absorb the situation. But I will say, that the 2 girl kitties are making it hard because they keep piercing the quiet with their screaming! They hate one another. It'll get better but I don't have the patience for their process.
But as much as I have lamented them both being here, I now know that at least Daphne had to be here. I always knew Niles had sent her for a reason but now the reason is becoming clear. She has had this soul-ful way of looking at us since she got here. At times it's sort of creepy and sad. But since Buck died, she will sit and stare at our faces right in the eyes as if she knows. Niles did that to me, too. She has his expression. But now she sticks close by and lets us hold her for awhile. I walked into the kitchen Tuesday morning and my husband was standing there holding her with his eyes closed just rocking back and forth. I asked him if she was comforting him and he said yes. She sat in my lap for a long time yesterday and just stared at me. I'm calling her the Great Comforter.
I realized yesterday that for Buck's whole life I was concerned with taking care of his every need and want but didn't realize the joy I was receiving in return. He gave so much to us, it's just beyond words to describe so I won't even try. I can tell that I'm not going to have a good day with this today. Now that some time has passed, the "real" missing him has begun. You know, in the very beginning you're just trying to realize what is gone and that it is gone. But then you start missing them. The absence sets in. That's where I am today. I plan to write him a letter later on this thread but I'm too fragile right now to do it.
Anyway, I hope everyone will have a "good" day today.
-Donna

Thinking of you today Donna, I know where you're at, I've been there and I know you have been there too. All I can do is offer my support and prayers and hope that you find some peace in your life soon. Hugs xx


madi xx

Donna,

I completely understand when you say that the "real" missing them has set in. At first you can't quite believe or accept that they're gone. But once you do, that's when the real hurt sets in. It may not be as sharp and raw as the intial hurt when you first lose them. It's different... it's more like a dull, heavy, intense ache. Maybe that's why we feel like we've taken three steps backwards. Because this part of the grieving process is so hard to deal with.

I'm so glad that Niles sent you a "living angel" to help guide you through this tough time.

Thinking of you and your angels.

Love, Cheryl X

Having a horrible day. Grief is strangling me. Just a physically and emotionally horrible day.

Dear Donna, it does take a little while for the reality of loss to sink in, which begins after the immediate shock of the loss wears off. I can feel your heartbreak and heartache in your posts, Donna, and I share it with you. I'm glad that Daphne is now becoming a source of comfort for you and your husband. It's not the same as holding your boys, but she knows the depth of your heart's sorrow, and she has the heart to want so much to comfort you.

I wish there was an easier way through your grief, Donna, for you, your husband, and everyone here in this forum. I just hope you can feel the comforting compassion and encouragement that is reaching across the miles to you. Please know you and your husband are close in my thoughts and prayers, Donna, and please let us know how things are going.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

i couldnt have said it better myself moonbeam. remember to breathe donna. you are in my prayers.
patricia