My dear little girl, I can't believe today marks 60 days since you have joined the angels. My precious beautiful baby girl, I know you are happy in the company of the angels, and that makes me very happy, too. But that doesn't stop me from missing you with all my heart. Your video is now completed, my girl, and is now in the hands of everyone who knew you and loved you, almost as much as Noah and I do.

Noah and I are doing the best we can to continue our journey on this side of eternity and cherishing each day we have together, and cherishing your sweet precious Living Spirit that is forever with us in our hearts and memories. But we miss having your precious sweet physical presence here with us. You were an answer to prayer, my beautiful baby girl, and I will always thank God for blessing me with you.

My beautiful baby girl, please give Eli and Oslo a hugh for Noah and me, and and please kknow you are forever gently embraced in Noah's and my heart and memories.

Our love to you always,
Mom and Noah

Hi Moon Beam--

60 days, wow! You've done so much in 60 days to immortalize your beautiful Abbygayle--the video, particularly, and the sharing of that with key players in the Abbygayle story...

You're such a devoted fur-kid mom!

We send you and little Noah so much love--

Margi and the Wonder Wolf

Hey Moonbeam. Your letter is so sweet to your precious Abbygayle. I know you miss her and all your babies terribly. I know it's been 2 months for you but doesn't it sometimes feel like 2 years and then like 2 days?
My thoughts are with you and I so appreciate all the support you've given me. Give Noah a big hug!
-Donna

Hi, Margi and Donna, thank you so much for all of your support and encouragement. This weekend has been a little hard emotionally. There isn't anything else now that I can do for my beautiful baby girl except keep her close in my heart and memories. Yesterday is Noah's and Abbygayle's "estimated" birthday, so Noah is now 7 years old. The "6 year old" death curse seems to have eluded him, and I am grateful for that. But I can't help wishing that Abbygayle was also here to share it with him, with us.

Friday evening I visited with their rescuers and took them a copy of the video, which they appreciated very much. We both agree that Abbygayle's horrible infestation with fleas and ticks and fly larvae before she was rescued severely compromised her immune system. They almost didn't let me adopt her because they had a strong feeling that she would not live very long but they knew that she needed to be with her devoted brother, so I was blessed with the both of them.

While I was working on her video time seemed "suspended" but now it seems that absolute "reality" is finally in place, and it's just hard to reconcile the losses of both Oslo and Abbygayle in such a short span of time. Oslo is a little easier to handle because he was 15 years old, and I knew that anything at anytime could take him - - instantly. But I really wasn't "prepared" to have Abbygayle follow so soon. When the tumors came back in less than 8 weeks after the December surgery I knew that her time to leave us was near, and there wasn't anything else the vet could do except to help me keep her comfortable for as long as possible. I am so glad I didn't go the route of chemo and radiation therapy. I'm glad I did for her what I could and had the quality time with her.

I thank you so much for your kind support and encouragement. It means a lot to me. Some days are easier to get through than others. Noah and I are taking it one day at a time, and are treasuring each other's company. And knowing that I have the opportunity to share my heart with others who really do understand is a blessing.

Peace and blessings to you,
moon_beam

My beautiful baby girl, as you know Noah had his Rabies vaccination today. I took today off so that I could take him in the morning under the hopes that it would be less hectic in the vet's office. The appointment was for 10 a.m. and it was c r a z y in the waiting room until we were escorted to the exam room. But that's okay because he was in the fancy stroller that the both of you shared when I took you both to the vet together, and he didn't feel threatened at all. There was a gentleman there with his beautiful Newfi. She came up to the stroller to say "hi" to Noah. The man was a bit concerned but I told him that Noah had lived with a Black Lab, so that put him at ease. Noah also had a general physical, and he needs his teeth cleaned. It's been a couple of years since he had that done, and of course the last time it was the both of you having it done together. Just another reminder to Noah and me that you are no longer here with us - - that you no longer need a physical exam, no longer need your teeth cleaned, no longer need the reassurance of your brother and me.

I did manage to get through the vet visit and get us checked out okay. It was after we got back on the road home that I broke down crying, which I'm so glad I was able to wait until we were out of the vet's office. I have a crate just for Noah now which fits on the front passenger seat. Another reminder that the bigger crate is now in storage because you and Noah no longer need to share a crate when going to the vet's office. When your brother heard me sniffling he came over to the end of the crate that is closest to me and gave me a soft comforting "meow." He is such a sweet little fella, dear girl, - - truly lives up to the meaning of his name - - comforter.

During the visit Dr. Bolen told me that whenever Noah and I are ready to add to our family that she will be glad to help us, which is the route I would want to go since Noah doesn't get annual vaccinations anymore. On the way home I was thinking about that and my heart broke because I know I'll never have another Noah and Abbygayle again. And I know that's okay, it's just that you both together and individually are so very special - - God's precious special gifts. And I know any other little fur child will also be a special precious gift - - but - - . So I know it's way too soon to even think about having an addition to our family yet. My heart is still so empty without you, my beautiful girl. And I know your brother misses you - - cuddling with you, grooming you, teasing you as only brothers can do.

When it's time for Noah to have his teeth cleaned I will make that appointment on another day that I can take off from work. I'm at the point now where I can use some personal leave time when my Noah, your precoius brother, has a medical appointment.

My beautiful baby girl, thank you so much for being my beautiful baby girl. It still hurts to not have you here with us, but I am so very glad you are happy with the angels, with Oslo, with Eli. I love you my precious girl - - we love you -

Always and forever,
Mommy and Noah

Moonbeam, your letter touched my heart. (Please read my post on Buck's thread about "the comforter")
So many things you wrote are exactly my experiences after Frasier died. The large crate, the grooming together, the vet visits. I know exactly how you feel. And now I look at all of Buck's things and think about how he doesn't need them anymore. It's all just too much.
I'm glad you wrote to her. I like to read other people's letters to their babies. It makes me feel not so alone. Give Noah a big kiss for me but not where they gave the rabies shot because I know it's probably tender! I'm so glad you have him.
-Donna

Dear Donna, thank you so much for your comforting words. I still have episdoes of deep grief, and yesterday and today have been hard for me. I am so sorry that you are going through the loss of Buck so soon after Niles. I often wish Oslo was here because he brought such a calming, comforting presence to our little household, and I know he would be a great comfort to Noah, and to me. I keep thinking there should be three furkids here - - Eli, who would be 10 years old now, along with Noah and Abbygayle. There are times when I honestly feel so cheated in losing three furkids in a 39 month time frame. Oslo being the eldest I knew that he would be with the angels probably by now, but I never ever expected Noah to be the only fur child at 7 years old. I know I've said this a lot in my posts - - I just seem to be "stuck" in trying to reconcile this "reality."

I did read your post about Buck, and I so do understand how you're feeling, and again, I'm very glad Daphne is becoming a comfort to you and your husband. Donna, thank you so o o much for your comforting words and thoughts. I will give my Noah a hug and kiss from you, my friend, and please know you and your husband are in my thoughts and prayers.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

dear moonbeam
i am so very sorry for your loss. you have such a wonderful, big heart. you are a rock for so many of us here. but more importantly you were a wonderful mom to Abbygayle. you gave her the gift of life when noone else would. she is upstairs with our heavenly father now and she is looking down on you with her sweet smile. i believe that our sweet babies are loaned out to us from Him. they are little gifts to us, sent from up above to be our teachers, our companions, our heart beats, our everything. but the loan eventually expires and they are sent back up to be rejoined with Him who loves all creatures great and small. although we are left with the immense pain that seemilngly never goes away, take comfort in knowing that we will be reunited with them one day. and what a day that will be. our tears of sadness will be tears of joy. Abbygayle will be rejoined with noah and her mom. to us it seems like that day will never come, but it will. i always envision everyone running to greet their beloved furbabies. i will be calling out fred and rileys name (jenny and chiquita, tiger and brando too) for sure and will over joyed when im able to hold them in my arms again. you will hold sweet abbygayle too
may the lord comfort you in these most difficult times.
patricia

Dear Patricia, thank you so much for your comforting words of encouragement. The hope of the opportunity of being reunited with my fur kids is one of the things that helps to soothe the grief of absence from them. It has only been a few days shy of 3 months since my baby girl joined the angels, so I know there are going to be days of ups and downs and turn arounds. But still there are days when, as you so sadly know too, the sorrow just feels like it's a piercing sword in the heart. I am so thankful for L S and having the opportunity to share with others who are of a kindred spirit. Knowing that we share similar bonds with our beloved companions of many shapes, sizes, and life forms is very comforting beyond what any words can adequately express. Thank you, Patricia, for being here for me and everyone in this Forum. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, too.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

thank you so much moonbeam. what i admire most about you is that amidst your grief you are still here for everyone. you still manage to find the words to comfort everyone else. you have such an enormous heart. god bless you and comfort you!
the pain, i certainly do know. its been a year since my last kitty fred passed away. and there are days when i just cant function. it DOES feel like a sword right thru the heart. Even though now i have two wonderful new dogs that make my heart sing, i think of my babies everyday. i do it in the car so that if i cry, my (doggie) girls wont see me. i dont want my sad energy to affect them in any way. even though i am proof that time heals sometimes i wonder if the sadness will ever go away. but if that means forgetting about them then i would rather be sad.
i wish i could say something to make it all go away. for me, for you and for everyone here. but i cant. but please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers.
god bless,
patricia

Hi, Patricia, I'm not really sure the sadness ever completely goes away. I can still feel the sadness of when my little kitty, William Ferocious, died on Thanksgiving Day way back when - - I think I was 8 years old. But I also remember what a remarkable, brave little man he was (hence his middle name Ferocious") during his short 3 years of life, and the tea parties we would have together when I got home from school. He loved cheese and crackers, and marachino party cake, the latter much to my mom's dismay.

We never let go of our precious furkids and I don't think we ever should. It is important to hold onto them in our hearts and memories, for to not do so would mean that they never existed and that would mean that our lives were never touched by their incredibly loving spirits and that our lives together with them had no meaning. That, to me, would be the worst "reality" of all.

Thank you again, Patricia, for your thoughtful, comforting words and encouragement. You are in my thoughts and prayers, too.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Moonbeam, I'm thinking about you and Noah. Will you give him a kiss on the forehead for me the way I used to kiss my boys? I hope you have a good day tomorrow. Thank you for being such a good friend to me and everyone on this forum. I couldn't have survived intact without your comforting words.
-Donna

Hi, Donna, thank you so much for thinking of me and Noah. I certainly will give him an "Auntie Donna" kiss on his forehead.

It's being kind of an up / down day here today, but I'm muttling through it. There are family issues as well arising for me that I just don't feel "up" to participating in, and I know that's going to bring even more tension to the situation. I just don't have the emotoinal and physical strength to deal with it right now, and none of my human family members are "clued in" to what I am feeling and going through.

The good news is that my little Noah is here with me, and I am so blessed to have him. I feel his sweet rear feet pressing up against my back as he's taking a late morning nap as I'm writing to you. He is a treasure.

Thank you again, Donna, for thinking of me and checking in on me. And thank you most of all for your friendship. You and your husband are frequently in my thoughts and prayers, Donna, and I hope today will be a good one for both of you.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Just checking in here, Moon Beam, so see how you and little Noah are doing today? It's funny, when you have no remaining family, you yearn for some family to relate to, but when you DO have family, there are always unpleasant "family issues," aren't there? At least in my situation, no on has any unreasonable (or reasonable!) family expectations for me!

Hope you're having a peaceful Saturday with your little one. I'm doing the same thing I'm doing every day: work hunting. So far nothing has turned up, but I keep on truckin'.

Big blessings to you, my dear friend!

Margi and Spiritwolf

Hi, Margi, thank you for your comforting thoughts and encouragement. I was very tired yesterday - - felt like every ounce of energy had been drained from me. After getting some chores done Noah and I finally curled up on the bed together and took a long afternoon nap. It felt so good. And then it was early lights out yesterday evening - - we slept though the night.

Life here is quiet, again. Noah and I woke up to the upstairs smoke detector chirping letting me know that the batteries need replacing. So I took the current batteries out and need to get a couple sometime this week to put into the unit and then put back up. At least it didn't set off the alarm this time. I have fire, intrusion, and medical monitoring, but it's the fire / smoke detector system that has a record of setting off most of the false alarms. Thankfully it has been awhile since that has happened, and thankfully today it was just the batteries that were chirping and not the entire alarm system screaming.

Margi, I am truly sorry you are having such a difficult time finding employment. My thinking would be that with your professional credentials you would be a prime candidate. Please know I'm sending good thoughts your way that GOOD things will soon come your way, including employment that is rewarding for you both financially and emotionally.

I hope that life is continuing to be calmer for you and Spiritwolf these days in your homestead. I hope you feel her sweet precious Spirit with you, along with Poppers and Sweet Pea. You are frequently in my thoughts and prayers every day, Margi, and I look forward to hearing from you.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Hey Moonbeam. I was thinking about you today and your family issues. You know I've had family stuff over the past year that has been exhausting, confusing, tormenting, and scary. I pray every day for healing for my family. But in the meantime, things are awkward, at best. So I understand the added stress this has been for you even though I don't know what you're dealing with. My thoughts go out to you.
I'm glad you and Noah got a good nap yesterday. Aren't cats just the best for sleeping next to? (Although Buck was great to spoon!) I slept really late Friday as I was dreading getting up and dealing with the impending heat in our house. We got the A/C fixed yesterday so things have cooled off.
Anyway, I just wanted you to know I was thinking of you. And I hope that your family things will be resolved soon. I don't wish that stress on anyone.
-Donna

Hi, Donna, thank you so much for thinking of me and Noah. I'm so o o glad that your AC is now fixed. Been there, done that in the heat of summer - - sure do know what that's like.

Today has been quiet and hot here. Noah and I had another nice afternoon nap today. You are so right about the sweetness of a kitty body to snuggle next to. And I have very fond memories of snuggling with my Oslo, too. I know Noah misses snuggling with Abbygayle, but I'm so glad that he considers me to be a suitable substitute. I do so love being able to reach out and rub his tummy.

Can't believe it's Sunday evening already. Looks like we're in for a week of very hot temperatures. I hope you and your husband have a good week, Donna, one day at a time, my friend. Please know you and your husband are frequently in my thoughts and prayers throughout the day and look forward to knowing how things are going for you.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Moonbeam,

Just wanted to say hi, thinking of you and Abby, and your still precious Noah. I see you post such inspiring and supportive words to others here. I'm not that elegant. I check everyday to see how people here are doing, though I don't always have words of comfort to say. You seem like a pretty balanced and aware person. I'm hoping that you are having some fond and pleasant memories of Abbygale. After 6 weeks of Kota being gone, more of the reality of the loss hit me. I had to take her pictures and ashes down from the living room and put them away for a bit. It was too painful staring at her picture all the time, then glancing around the house to see if she might be here. Death and pain play lousy tricks in our hearts and minds. How is Noah doing? Thinking of you.

Dennis

Hi, Dennis, thank you for your thoughtful and comforting encouragement. One of the many hardest things to adjust to in this grief journey is the time that used to be shared with and focused on the company and care of the furchild who is no longer physically with us. Sometimes I still find myself asking "now what am I going to do" and thinking "I would be helping Oslo now with this" or "Abbygayle needs her meds now" - - and then - - there's this "empty time." Or needing to set the morning alarm earlier so that there would be plenty of time to take care of those furchild personal needs before leaving for work. Or having 4 furkids to take care of only to find your household now down to one - - or none. It's a BIG adjustment, and some days are easier than others. Some days are stronger than others.

I don't have pictures up of my angel furkids. I do have scrapbooks on them and other memorials I have done on them, but I don't dwell on those things because that is painful. Instead I focus primarily on the memories in my heart, which are easier to think about and enjoy. This is what works for me. But what works for me may not work for you or others, and that's okay. But in sharing what helps us individually with others may help someone else to think of "something" that may help them. Each of us has to find our own way through this grief journey, but always, always, always with the reassurance that we are not alone - - that there are others we can share our hearts and thoughs with who truly do know what we are feeling.

Noah is doing well. We are developing our routines, and enjoying our snuggle times together. He truly is a precious little soul. I have known this from the beginning, but every day I discover more and more how blessed I am to have him still with me - - his sweet little precious self.

Thank you, Dennis, for thinking of me and checking in with me. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Dennis.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Hello.
You have been so kind to me that I wanted to be kind to you too. I've read your story and feel very sad. How are you doing now? You sound like you have been very strong, but I know it is very hard. Abbygale was very lucky to have you and I'm sure she had a wonderful life. I'm sure she is waiting for you somewhere.

Hi, Sapphireluna, thank you so much for thinking about me during this difficult time for you. Noah and I are taking it one day at a time. My heart cries for him still because he is the sole survivor in a household that used to have 4 furkids. I cannot reconcile the thought of adopting another furkid, at least not yet. Thinking about it brings tears to my eyes, and I know it's not the right time yet.

The deep, deep grief has passed for the most part, I think, but I miss holding my Abbygayle, my precious little cuddles girl, and I know that empty ache will be with me until I can hold her in my arms again when it is my appropriate time to join her in eternal joy. I know she is happy in the company of the angels, and she so deserves the freedom from the cancer that destroyed her beautiful body and quality of life. But I share your lament, and that of the other participants in ths forum that 6 years and 10 months is just not long enough to share her life on this side of eternity. And this breaks my heart for my little Noah who was so devoted to his baby sister, as they were devoted to each other.

So, yes, there is still more healing to do in this grief journey. Tomorrow will be 4 months to the date that my little girl joined the angels. I am blessed to have my home where there are the beautiful memories of my furkids to enjoy everywhere I look, and I am blessed to still have my precious Noah with me who brings me joy every moment of every hour of every day. I am blessed to be able to tell him every day how much I love him and how proud I am of him for all the love he gave to Eli, Oslo, and Abbygayle, and so graciously and generously gives to me.

Thank you again, Sapphireluna, for checking in on me, and please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, too.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Moonbeam, I just read that today is 4 months since Abbygayle passed. Next week will be 4 months since Niles passed. Please give Noah a hug and a kiss on the forehead for me. Smell that sweet kitty fur!! It's like they make their own cologne, isn't it?
I know you still ache for all of your babies as I do. It's just so hard to let go. I'm thinking of you and Noah's dental cleaning next week. Please send me a message to let me know how he does.
-Donna

Dear Donna, Thank you so much for thinking of me. It doesn't feel like 4 months have already passed - - where did the days go? It truly feels sometimes that I'm existing on "automatic pilot" still. The only time that truly makes any sense to me is when I'm home with my little Noah.

You are so right about their sweet fur having its own special fragrance. I kept some of Oslo's and Abbygayle's fur - - put it in a zip baggie, and occasionally open it to refresh my memory with their perfume. I have also started collecting some of Noah's fur - - particularly when I brush him - - I save the fur from the brush. I most certainly will give my little boy a hug and kiss from his "Auntie Donna" - - with great pleasure - - and I will definitely let you know how things go next Thursday with his dental cleaning. I will just be very relieved when that's over with and he's back home.

Donna, thank you again so much for checking in on me. I hope you will have a peaceful weekend, my friend, and please know you are frequently in my thoughts and prayers every day.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Hi Moon Beam--

I collected Popper's and Ladywolf's fur too--tons of it--when I combed them out. My plan is to stuff a little decorative pillow with it to have around as a remembrance. I also have a pile of Lady's fur that I combed out a couple of days before she died, and even though it's just sitting out, I can still smell the essence of Ladywolf when I bury my nose in it. The scent certainly does linger on... I'm really glad that I saved the fur. Lady had a gorgeous collar I had made for her with turquoise and tigereye and bone on it, and when she died, I turned the collar into a hatband for one of my favorite hats...and someone STOLE it out of my (admittedly open) car. I was crushed. What a nasty thing to steal from someone! So I'm glad I have the fur!

Sending good wishes for Noah's safe journey to the vet's this week, and much, much love--

Margi, spiritwolf, and Leopold the Holy Terror

Hi, Margi, I am so sorry about the theft of your hat. Even though your car was open - - probably due to the hot temperatures - - is no license for someone to STEAL something out of your car. I know what that's like - - even when the car is locked. It makes you feel so violated, and of course, in this instance, something very special was taken from you.

Like others on this wonderful forum this past weekend was one of remembrance for me, and Noah. This time last year Abbygayle was home recovering from her first tumor removal surgery, and it's either today or in this near vicinity of days that marks the anniversary of when I learned her terminal prognosis. It's been a bittersweet few days for sure. And of course, this time last year my handsome Oslo was still with us as well. It's still hard to fathom the loss of both Oslo and Abbygayle so close to each other. I really had thought that I would have three kitty kids enjoying the comfort of their country home in their middle age. My heart still breaks for my little Noah as I know he is lonesome for all of his fur house mates, as I am, too. Right now, there is no comfort in my heart for adopting another companion. I wish I knew how Noah feels about this - - for if he showed me that he really would like another brother and sister, then I would most certainly start the process with our vet for his sake - - gladly. But I must confess I am enjoying the dedicated one on one time with him - - no competition for attention for either of us, and maybe that's we both need right now. Oh how I wish I had a "crystal ball" that worked!!

With all the memories about Abbygayle floating around right now, I must confess I will be very glad when Noah is back home safe and sound Thursday evening from his dental cleaning.

Thank you, Margi, for thinking of Noah and me. Please know you and Leopold are frequently in my thoughts and prayers each and every day.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Moonbeam, I'm anxious to hear about Noah's dental cleaning. I'll only have access to a computer for another 45 minutes so if you're able to post, I'd love it. If you get this after 5:00 pm EST then I'll have to have someone check for me later tonight for your reply. I won't be able to reply later tonight and I may be without a computer for a few days as I'm not working tomorrow. Mine is in the shop - got a virus and went berzerk.
I hope everything is going well.
-Donna

Hi Moon Beam--

Me too, wondering how Noah fared at the vet's today? I'm sure that you and he are at home again now, and that he is either sleeping it off, or snuggling with you watching movies or some such thing. I'm certain that everything went fine, but I've been a little worried for you all day myself.

Please let us know that he's all right!

Hugs from Margi, Spiritwolf, and Leopold the Strange

Hi moon_beam,

I, too, am just checking in to see how your precious Noah got on? Hope all is well.

Just wanted to let you know that you are in my thoughts.

Hugs - Cheryl x

Dear Donna, Margi, and Cheryl, thank you so much for checking in on Noah and me. Noah's teeth cleaning went well yesterday. No tooth extractions were necessary and no antibiotics. He did have a mild gum inflammation on one side of his mouth but that should clear up nicely by itself. Also, there was a tiny little male kitten in the reception area yesteday looking for a home. He is grey and white - - but marked differently from Noah, and when I saw him I could not help but wonder if he would make a good little brother for Noah. So, I brought home the towel that was in his crate and last night I draped it over the table I have in the laundry area. Noah kept going over to it, sniffing it, and then eventually he got up on the table and laid down on the towel. Through the evening he kept sniffing the air and looking for the body that went along with the scent. I just kept telling him that it is only a towel.

This morning I put a small portable typing table over by the bed and moved the towel to the table next to the bed. Again, Noah sniffed at the towel and eventually got on the table and laid down on the towel. No hackles raised, no kitty wailing, just a calm, peaceful - - almost acceptance - - reaction. So, I have a call into Dr. Bolen to talk to her about "Hank" - - that's what they have named him at the vet's office. If this is a proper adoption, then I will call him "Henri (Hank)Tobias".

I'm sorry I didn't have a chance to write last night. I am having company this weekend, expected arrival is just about 4 hours or less away. After work I have either been running errands -- grocery shopping, or coming straight home and cleaning and dusting and cleaning and straightening and cleaning - - well, you get the picture. After Noah and I got home from the vet yesterday evening I was very exhausted - - my back and legs and feet just hurt from the bending, standing, stretching, climbing - - I had to take some pain medication last night and elevate my legs - - particularly my right leg which was brutalized in the automobile collision almost 25 years ago. I mean I could hardly walk it was just very very uncomfortable. So, all I basically had the strength to do was to check my e-mail and make very quick responses to a couple of things, and then just call it a day.

I'm doing better today and Noah is anxiously awaiting to see what all the preparations are about. My eldest brother, Gary (16 years older than me) and his latest girl friend (he's been married and divorced twice) are coming for the weekend, and this is the first time that Noah will meet his Uncle Gary, providing Noah doesn't run and hide for the duration of their visit. They will be going back home on Sunday morning.

So, this is the latest that is happening here. Yeah - - little Hank - - I held him while Dr. Bolen was giving Noah his final check before discharge, and Hank just settled down in my arms so quietly and peacefully. He's very malnourished - - he was a rescue that a client brought to the vet for treatment and adoption. Can't be anymore than 8 weeks old - - if that. So, - - we'll see what happens. I'm a bit dumbstruck myself - - but there was just something about this little guy that was like an immediate bonding before I even held him. The most important concern for me though is Noah, and I'm hoping his reaction to the towel is a good indication of how he would react to the body that goes along with the scent. I'll keep you posted.

Donna, I'm sorry about your computer. Oh - - high technology - - it's great when it WORKS and a royal total frustration when it doesn't. I hope your computer guru will be able to get it fixed.

Must dash off for now. I probably won't be able to post again until Sunday at the earliest. But PLEASE know each of you and everyone posting on the forum will be in my thoughts and prayers.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Hi moon_beam,

Thank you for letting us know how you're doing. I'm pleased that Noah's trip to the vet's went well. However, I was sorry to hear about your own physical discomfort, I hope you're feeling a little better today?

You're in an interesting situation with little "Hank". Have you had any more thoughts on the issue? I know your mind must be working overtime wondering what to do for the best. Try to listen to your heart -- I'm sure you will make the right decision in the end, both for you and your precious Noah. Please do keep us updated when you have the chance.

Sending you hugs and best wishes,

Cheryl x

Hi, Cheryl, thank you so much for checking in with me. Yes, I'm doing better, thank you. Gary and his lady friend left shortly before Noon yesterday, and I crashed with Noah for the rest of the day. Poor little Noah - - he was SO O O terrified during the entire visit. He tried coming upstairs with me twice -- made it almost up to the top of the basement steps but when he heard the strange voices he ran back down to the basement living quarters and hid under Oslo's bed. I came down to check on him as often as I could and to feed him, but I couldn't stay with him until bedtime. At least he had a safe and comfortable place to hide until company left.

In previous situations he always had other fur siblings to keep him company, and they did fine together here in the basement. This time, my sweet boy was left alone while I was occupied upstairs, and that really broke my heart for him.

I'm still planning on picking little "Hank" up from the vet late Wednesday evening. I'm a bit nervous about this - - it's a new little life coming into the household and I'm still not sure it's the "right" time yet - - but the only thing I can do is give it a try. I will DEFINITELY keep you informed as to how things go.

Thank you again so much for checking in on me. This means a lot to me. I hope that today has been a good one for you, Cheryl, and please know you are frequently in my thoughts and prayers every day.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Hi Moonbeam. I'm soooooo glad Noah's dental visit went well! Being without a computer all weekend (and still am but I'm on a friend's computer), I've been tortured to know how his visit went. I'm so relieved.
You know, with regard to Henri Tobias (Hank), I think it could be a sign that you immediately felt a connection. I felt that way about Daphne but didn't know why until later. Even though the timing was terrible for me and I still feel like it was too soon, she wormed her way in because she had a purpose. Maybe Hank does too. On some level, I believe Niles sent Daphne or his spirit entered her or something because there is a connection with her eyes that is eerily similar to that which I had with Niles. Her strange personality seems to prove every day that she is not an ordinary cat but one that was sent.
So, maybe, just maybe, Hank is too. I don't know but if you do decide to bring him home, I hope the transition goes well. I'm sure it will for him since he is so young but I hope Noah takes to him too.
Good Luck! I don't know when I'll be on the computer again so I'll try to catch up later.
-Donna

Hi, Donna, what a blessing it is to see your message. I do know what you mean about the eyes - - for that is what caught us both - - looking into each other's eyes. I couldn't help but wonder all weekend about it - - it is eerie. A part of me feels a bit scared about picking him up on Wednesday, but another part of me is eagerly anticipating it. Please keep Noah, and me, in your thoughts and prayers about this. Bringing a new baby into the household is always a new step - - and it changes the dynamics of what is present, and what has been - - but will always be lovingly cherished.

Thank you so much for your encouragement, Donna, and I will DEFINITELY keep you informed as to how things go. Please know you are always close in my thoughts and prayers, Donna, each and every day.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Henry Tobias--What an elegant name for a "Hank!"

Moonbeam, I am so looking forward to hearing how the introduction, and getting-accustomed-to-each-other period goes. I am so happy for you! I think too that Hank was sent to you for a very special purpose, as Sir Leopold was sent to me. You know that there are no accidents, and you have been preparing very carefully for his introduction into the house. You know to expect some strangeness at first--how could there not be? Noah has ruled the roost for a long time now, all by himself...

And maybe they will take to each other like velcro. In my experience, most pets enjoy a tiny kitten and don't see it as too much of a threat. (Except Ladywolf--NOT good around kittens!) I know that YOU will enjoy him thoroughly, and that he will probably drive you crazy at the same time!

This is so exciting, I feel like you are about to give birth! Do keep us all posted!

Best of luck with Hank the Hunk!

All love--Margi, Spiritwolf, and Leopold the...Animated!

Hi, Margi, yes, I do feel like an "expectant mom". I called the vet's office a little while ago and Hank is doing well. Last night I set up the crate and put his towel in the crate. Noah has been getting into the crate sniffing the towel, and settling down. I also have gotten out the feeding bowls that fit in the crate hangers and washed them. I still need to get the kitty potty freshened up and put in.

So, we'll see what happens, and I will certainly keep everyone apprised of how things go.

Margi, I hope that you and your precious Leopold will have a peaceful evening. I hope cool breezes will come to freshen you from the summer heat, I hope that GOOD FORTUNE will come to you IMMEDIATELY, and I hope and pray that you and Leopold will be blessed with the presence of your precious Spiritwolf at all times and in all circumstances.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Hi, my friends, well, little Hank is here, but I don't know for how long. Noah is totally rejecting him and is not a happy camper right now. I feel so bad for both Noah and Hank. Hank is a very sweet little kitten. I know Noah could be a good big brother, but he is older than Eli was when he joined the household, and this may be just too much for him. So, I'm going to keep this little fellow through the weekend. Hopefully Noah's hissing and spitting will ease up a bit, and he'll discover that I really am not a traitor. I'm trying my best to let him know that he is still "king" here - - but I'm not sure that's going to be enough for him.

Needless to say I am quite upset, but it isn't fair to keep little Hank under these circumstances. I do like this little kitten a lot, but my first and forremost concern is Noah. So, please keep my little household in our thoughts and prayers. I will know by Sunday evening if I will need to return Hank to the vet on Monday. I guess the answer is clear now, but I really would like to give Noah a chance to see if this is just a "temporary" "I'm the boss" lesson or if this is really not going to work at all.

Please know each and all of you are in my thoughts and prayers.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Moonbeam, yes, give it more time. Niles and Frasier, as you know, were littermates but we didn't get them at the same time. Niles was here first and was very upset when Frasier came. In fact, he got in the corner and wouldn't face us. They, of course, hissed and spit and slapped. But someone told me to give it 2 weeks and they would settle down. And it was almost 2 weeks to the day that things settled and they were fine after that. Of course, that isn't the case with Daphne and Seralyn but we're dealing with different circumstances.
I think Noah and Hank will be ok. But you may have to give it longer than the weekend. But, only you know what's really going on in your house. I just remember being so distraught seeing Niles so upset. He was the king up until then and continued to be king his whole life but Frasier rocked his world there for a little while. (oh boy, memories.)
Anyway, I hope things settle at your home. Good luck. I know Hank needs you and is so lucky to have this opportunity.
-Donna

moon_beam,

Sorry to hear that the introduction of little Hank hasn't ran so smoothly. You can never predict how these things will turn out. See how things go over the weekend, monitor things carefully, and keep giving your precious Noah EXTRA love and attention. Just know, moon_beam, whatever decision you make will be the right one -- because you made it with the best intentions at heart.

Keep us updated.

You, Noah, and little Hank, are all in my thoughts.

Cheryl x

Dear Donna and Cheryl, thank you so much for your wonderful support. Hank is back with his friends at the vet. I am very, very upset but my first and foremost concern has to be Noah. If I had known had adversely he would take to another little furchild I never would have attempted an adoption. I have never seen Noah this upset, and now that I have put everything back in its proper place and Noah sees that Hank is no longer here - - he is more settled again. Noah has suffered a lot of loss in his short little life, and perhaps this is part of the problem. He identifies death with fur family and is not willing to take a chance now. He is 7 years old - - middle life for a kitty kid - - and he deserves some stability - - which Hank did not offer.

How am I doing? I am a bit broken hearted. I really loved that little kitten. He deserves to be with someone, a family, that will completely and totally accept him - - where there is no rejection to "work through." Noah never had to work through a rejection phase with Eli, and I don't want Hank to deal with that either.

So, it's just Noah and me - - and will remain that way.

Please keep this little household in your thoughts and prayers. I feel like I'm gonig through another loss - - it was so nice - - for me - - to have little Hank here. Right now I can't seem to stop crying.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Oh, moon_beam, I'm so sorry you're so upset I think if it was upsetting your precious Noah so much, then you did the right thing. To see him stressed only would have caused you more pain. You gave it a go, and that's what counts. I'm sure little Hank will find a loving home soon.

You and your household are most certaintly in my thoughts and prayers, moon_beam.

Sending you hugs from afar -- Cheryl x

Hi, Cheryl, well it's Friday and I'm home now from work, and Noah is returning to his sweet self. In fact, he is stretched out on Abbygayle's towel that still has her scent. I'm still upset about losing little Hank, but I'm not angry with Noah. When he looked at me yesterday as he was running away from me when I tried to pick him up and give him his special loving it was the same behavior when he was confused and grieving the loss of his big kitty brother Eli. Yesterday he looked as if the light and spirit had gone out of his eyes and heart, and it took almost 2 years for him to come to terms with Eli's physical absence. I just couldn't go through that again, I just couldn't put him through that again. I knew in my heart that the longer he felt he was being "forced" to accept little Hank that I would run the risk of losing him, and I just couldn't bear that. Hank is a very sweet little kitten and I know the vets in the practice will do their best to make sure that he goes to a loving home.

I keep coming back to what someone said in one of their posts - - please forgive me for not remembering who said it - - Noah has lost HIS fur family members - - not just "any" fur people. And now he has let me know beyond any shadow of a doubt that there can never be what he would consider to be any "substitutes", "replacements" , or "new" fur family members. So it is just Noah and me, and I am content with that.

Thank you so much, Cheryl, for your comforting encouragement. From Noah's behavior now I know I made the right decision. It is so nice to see him peaceful again, and allowing me to touch him and hold him again.

I hope that life is treating you kindly, Cheryl. Please know that you and everyone here on this wonderful forum are in my thoughts and prayers, and I thank you so much for keeping my little household in yours.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Oh, Moon Beam--

I am so so sorry for the way things worked out. I'm just getting caught up on missed posts, so I didn't know til now that Noah had the reaction that he had to poor little Hank. I am just so darned sorry, though it does sound as if you are making your peace with the situation, hard as that is to do. Of course, Noah's happiness had to come first, and I am glad to hear that he is settling back in again and returning to "normal." You are wise to permit this to happen--it is possible that Noah would NEVER have gotten used to having the little tyke around.

I'm just so darned sorry, as it would have been so much fun for you to have had a kitten in the house. But Noah Rules!!!

Much love from Margi, Spiritwolf, and Leopold the Scrapper

Hi, Margi, thank you so much for your comforting support. It means a great deal to me. Noah's little life has just been turned upside down with so many losses, and I guess I didn't really know how deeply all of this had affected him until trying to introduce a new family member. I knew he has been a sad little boy, but I thought since it had been 4 months since Abbygayle's journey that it would be the best time to try since he's used to having another fur body to snuggle up to. But here again - - it wasn't just ANY fur body he snuggled with - - it was HIS fur family members that he snuggled with - - family members who he knew as a baby kitten and loved and adored with all his heart. I am now his only constant and connection to his family "history" - - and I am honored to be preferred company for him.

Thank you for checking in on me. I hope that you and little Leopold will have a very peaceful evening, and that you will be blessed with the presence of your precious Spiritwolf at all times and in all circumstances.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Hi moon_beam,

I read in your responses in other peoples threads that you have been having a tough time lately. I just wanted to drop you a note to say that you are in my thoughts and prayers. And could you please give little Noah a hug and kiss from me.

Sending you hugs from afar - Cheryl x

Hi, Cheryl, thank you so much for thinking of me. Yes, it's been a bit hard here. It's a combination of stuff, which all comes around to - - this time last year I had three furkids - - Noah had his baby sister and big doggie brother for company and to take care of. It's been a year of too many adjustments - - too many NEGATIVE adjustments. Like you I'm just trying to hang in here through the bumpy weather. I no longer feel like I'm drowning, but sometimes it does feel like the boat is taking on more water than what I can quickly bail out.

I have never had the pleasure of having a rabbit for a companion, but have always enjoyed watching the rabbit woodland critters when they come into the yard. They are so fascinating to watch, and always bring a smile to my heart. When Oslo and I worked with the at risk youth in the alternative school facility, I developed discussion topics for them about how animals assist people - - both historically as well as in present day situations. One topic I develoepd for them was a three-part anatomical discussion on the similarities and differences between humans and other animals. The comparisons I used were dogs, cats, horses, and rabbits. I did extensive research on each of these life forms, so I learned a lot about rabbits during my research for the students. I do so appreciate your connection with your precious Daisy, Cheryl, and do understand how devastated you are feeling not having her sweet physical body to cuddle with.

Cheryl, I thank you again for checking in with me, and I will absolutely give my Noah a hug and kiss for you. I hope that life is treating you kindly today, and will look forward to knowing how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Thinking of you and your beautiful Angel, Abbygale, today moon_beam. Hope you do okay and feel her presence strongly with you.

Sending you hugs, Cheryl x

Moonbeam, I'm thinking of you as well. I hope you are able to enjoy some happy memories - somehow.
-Donna

Dear Cheryl and Donna, thank you so much for checking in with me today on Abbygayle's 6 month anniversary. As you miss your sweet furkids to cuddle with, I do miss my Abbygayle as well, but I am blessed with Noah - - who is still my "earthly" connection to Eli, Oslo, and my beautiful baby girl. I hope life is treating you kindly today, and please know you are frequently in my thoughts and prayers every day.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

My dearest precious beautiful baby girl, today is our 6 month anniversary of your being with the angels- - you, Noah, and me. In my thoughts to you this morning as I was driving into work I was telling you how glad I am that you are where you are safe. I see you frolicking in heaven's perfect garden chasing the butterflies, and playing with the squirrels and rabbits. I see you stretched out under one of the shade trees or bushes watching the birds and other precious inhabitants playing, or maybe listening to a story that one of the angels is telling. During your earthly time, my love, you could only go outside on a tether. I wouldn't let you roam free - - because mommy knew there were too many dangers for you on this side of eternity. I needed you safe, but I also wanted you to enjoy the pleasures of your home and yard. Tethering you was the only way I could keep you safe outside. But now, my lovely girl, you don't need a tether to keep you safe. You are in the company of the angels and all the other wonderful precious inhabitants of every precious life form - - mommy doesn't need to worry about you being safe anymore.

Your brother and I are hanging in here. You know what happened with little "Hank." Your brother just can't handle another companion. Darling girl, I believe his heart has been so traumatized with having to say "good bye" to you and Eli and Oslo that his little heart just can't handle another separation. Your brother is such a little love, as you know, and he is taking very good care of me. But I must confess I am a bit anxious about him - - his health - - and I know that's because both you and Eli joined the angels so very young. You know last week I had a real scare with his little tummy - - it was hurting so bad, but he's doing okay now, thanks to the doctor. I think I have to be careful about his special treats from now on, my baby girl. What he was able to digest okay in his younger years may not be so easy for him now that he's 7 years old - - that's middle age years for him.

My precious baby girl, having two beloved companions joining the angels at 6 years of age has been rather traumatic for me, too. I was expecting the blessing of having you with me much longer than that, my darling girl. But I would have our 6 years and 9 months together in a heartbeat if it meant you would be happy and healthy. Most importantly, though, I am looking forward to an eternity of being with you - - never being separated from you again. That will come when it's my appropriate time to join you, my little girl. For now, my beautiful girl, you are wrapped in eternal love in my heart and memories.

My baby girl, you know that tears still come to my eyes when I focus on the fact that we are not physically together right now, but that's only because the part of me that belongs only to you is with you, and I wouldn't want it any other way, my love. I thank God for blessing my life with you, my baby girl, for giving me the honor of taking care of you during your earthly journey. It is when we are together once again in heaven's perfect garden, my darling girl, that I will be whole again. That thought makes me smile, my baby girl.

My beautiful precious baby girl, please give my love to Eli, Oslo, Samson, Holly, Willie, and all of your furkid family members. Each of them can tell you all about me at our different times in life's travels, if they haven't already.

And my precious beautiful baby girl, I send my love to you always and forever - -

mommy

Moonbeam, what a beautiful beautiful letter to your precious baby girl. Thank you for sharing that part of you with us. I know she must have loved you so very much and you her as well.
-Donna

Yes, that was beautiful MoonBeam.

My thoughts and prayers are always with you,

Annette