Hi, Dayna

You said: I'm so tired of being left behind. I'll be okay tomorrow, but tonight I think this world sucks!

I have felt like that more times than I care to remember. There will always be sad days and bearable days.

I am sorry you are having the sleepless ones.

I am sending you a big cyberhug.........I know you have been through all this before, as I and many here have, and it always "sucks!" BIGTIME!

I know the pain is because we love them so much and miss them them so much. We never have them long enough......and we never will feel it was okay to let them go. We want them back, happy, healthy and in our arms. They are in our hearts and we are thankful they were a part of our life but this future..that we always know is coming....always seems to arrive much too fast.

It is okay to cry....I still do it a lot. They brought something so special into our lives that we just ache losing that wonderful physical presence that means so very much.

But we know we would still have them in our lives without hesitation, even knowing this day will come. They are worth everything to us.

Hugs, peace, healing....and sleep..are my wishes for you.

Judy

It has been a long month dear O'tat. And yet insignificant by comparison with almost 24 years we had together. Nights are long, but they offer sweet dreams of you. In them, I dream you well and strong...climbing the curtains, and trolling the cabinets as you did long ago. One day I know I'll see you do so again.

"There's a long, long trail a winding
Into the land of my dreams,
Where the nightingales are singing,
And the white moon beams.

There's a long, long night of waiting
Until my dreams all come true,
'Til that day when I'll be going
Down that long, long trail
With you."

My love as ever,
Mom

You are so right. You WILL be reunited some day!!!!!!!!!!!


Hugs to you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I remember when they sang that song on MASH, and how bittersweet and poignant the scene was.

I'm hoping, Dayna, that on this first month's mark, you can keep settling more into the "sweet" parts of not only your memories of you and your boy, but of those sweet dreams, too - the dreams that tell you he's back in the place where the true & glorious fullness of who he is and ever was, is complete once again, with none of the duality and contrasts we, here, are still a part of. And yet he still sees and hears you, even more completely than you do him in your dreamtime. But it's a good place to meet, just for now...just for now...

Wishing you beautiful dreams as you sleep tonight. I hope BK showered you with some of his sunshine on this one month angelversary. Knowing and trusting we will reunite with our precious ones leaves my heart at peace. The best is yet to be!

Hugs and love to you and your wonderful family,
Beth

I remember that episode of MASH too. I especially remember how powerfully it affected my Dad ( who actually taught me that song ), as a veteran.

Sometimes tears still come out of nowhere, or at the very least it seems like nowhere. And they still bewilder and frustrate my husband. But they don't worry me any more.

I remember more and more those sweet things that made me love Beekie so much in the first place. Would I take him back just as he was before those last two terrible days , so long as I thought he wanted to be here...in a heartbeat. But it's good for me to remember when he used to wake me up in the morning by knocking the water-glass off my headboard into my face.

Yah, I kinda figured that must have been your dad who taught you that song.

What a delightful SCAMP! Sabin used to knock the phone off the hook...knowing that woman would start yammering at us....or he'd threaten to climb my cheval mirror's posts (and often did anyway), knowing I'd be up in a shot if he did. We always called him our Little Alarm Clock, cuz we sure didn't NEED an electronic one. Nissa was far too polite a girl to do anything but maybe 'yell' at us to get UP already.

But Beekie and Boo-Boo....both "toooo fonnny" little guys!

Man, Dayna, it's hardly been any time at all since, at least in my books. So if you're doing that well that only "sometimes" tears come out of nowhere...well, you're doing incredibly and profoundly well with your journey! I could only HOPE to aspire to be as advanced a soul as you! Beekie was SOOOOO lucky to have someone like you as his mom.

That's sooo sweet, thank you. But I'm afraid you don't have an entirely accurate picture. I still can't eat. And I have a terrible time getting out of bed. When I am up, I spend a fair amount of time calculating when I can go back to sleep. I'd like to chalk that up to physical exhaustion, but after a month +, I'm afraid even that excuse is somewhat lame. My precious old dog, who has taken a back seat to Mack's illness, Mother's illness and death, Sadie's handicap, and Beekie's care is always there, fast by side, looking concerned and bewildered that Mom won't get up. Her dad takes good care of her and Amos, and it's a good thing because both of them are having a hard time engaging me, as much as they deserve to. I feel terrible about that, but I don't seem to be able to do anything about it.

On a happier note. My other feline alarm clock, Fleas, favorite strategy was standing in my hair and biting me on the eyelids. He liked to do that to house guests as well, especially the ones who weren't cat people. I enjoyed pretending to share their surprise and outrage, while secretly cheering the culprit on. His huge blue eyes would gleam with pleasure, because he knew that in all he did, to his Mom he was her " Baby Angel".


My Dad was a human juke-box, all delivered with a fine Welsh tenor, from a heart of warmest gold. Tomorrow was/is his birthday, and Sadie's as well.

Precious old boy,

It's two years and one day since your Nana left us, in each other's care. Now the two of you are together. Thank you for staying with me so long...I couldn't begin to measure the comfort you gave me. I hope Mama knows what a trooper you were, how brave, and how sweet.


Miss you terribly my Beekie. I know you are being a trooper still.

Love you as ever,
Mom

Another Sunday without you Bub. One week less without you. One week less until you butt me in head again, and scrub your stout whiskers into my cheek.

My love to your Nana,
Mom

My Beekie-boy,

Seven months today my sweet old boy...seven months since you gained your freedom and your wings. I miss you, but I continue to be inspired by your courage. We put a fight didn't we, baby...one for the history books.

love as ever,
Mom

Heart to heart............friends by choice. I know your BK thru YOU. BK is no doubt one of our loved ones who sit in the Grandstands in Heaven...........ALWAYS with us.

Much love to all of you Dayna,
Beth

Dayna
your beloved BK
is sleeping seven months now
I am so very sorry
your "lion" was really a very special boy
your`s Eva