Thank you so much Jorge. Others just can't seem to understand why I am still so choked up about him. It's only been 2 weeks!!! I miss his presense. The house has people in it, but it feels so 'different' to me. Hard to explain, but I'm sure others here know exactly what I mean. Thanks for listening.

-Marcie

Others just can't seem to understand why I am still so choked up about him. It's only been 2 weeks!!! I miss his presense. The house has people in it, but it feels so 'different' to me. Hard to explain, but I'm sure others here know exactly what I mean. Thanks for listening.

-Marcie


We understand perfectly. You don't have to try and find the words to explain. We know how you feel. Two weeks is a very very short time. You can always come here to write your thoughts and feelings because when you are here, you are not alone. We are with you in your pain and we know exactly what you are going through and it is very normal.

If others can't seem to understand....we've been there too and find the best protection from feeling more hurt is not to talk about things with those who have a hard time understanding the intense pain, the devastation, the emptiness we feel inside. It is a tremendous pain that cannot just disappear overnight....it takes time for us to learn how to control the pain and sadness so it doesn't overwhelm us 24/7.

There is always understanding here and we are always listening. We all feel the same pain and if we can share what has helped us bear it...and that helps another...that's what this family here is all about.

Hugs, Marcie......write here anytime. We write through tears often.

Judy

Thanks Judy. I don't know what I would have done without this place. I tried joining another site, but not one person responded to me. I was desperate for someone to understand the pain.

I wanted to share something that was actually, not funny...but funny to me more now, because I know it did not do any real harm to Omar. It goes like this:

I'm at work, and my 14 yr old son calls me after school and asks me what is on Omar's head? I couldn't quite understand why he was asking me this. He asked me again...he said it looks like Omar has a metal bowl around his neck. I was quite puzzled. I told him I had no idea what he was talking about, but to get his dad to look...he had just gotten home. So, my husband gets on the phone, and he too asks me what is on Omar's head. It looks like a metal bowl got stuck. I sat there at my desk thinking...hmmm...what in the world is he talking about??? Then it dawned on me...but before I tell you what happened, here are a couple pictures that they took before helping him. This was in December.

OMG! I saw the pictures but.......................you forgot to finish the story!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Don't leave us hanging..................

Judy

Sorry...I was trying to see if anyone could guess! I sent the pictures to my friends...because they were always sending me pictures of their little kids doing something but my kids are too old for that. Omar was my baby. But nobody could guess. Well....Omar was ALWAYS getting into the trash. Every door in my house had to be closed when we left the house. The kitchen trash can I bought from Costco...a BIG metal one...that you step on and the top opens up...well he would knock it over...even though it was so heavy. So we had to either move the trash to the bathroom or put it on top of my counter, still in the can of course. My kids bathroom trash I put on top of the counter...but he would find a way to knock it down...so I put it in their cabinet. He would find a way to open it...so the door had to be closed. Well apparently that day the door was not closed, and he stuck his head INTO the whole in the lid to their little metal trash can...and it got stuck!!! The whole was no larger then an orange. I have no idea how long he was like this...and I'm lucky he did not strangle himself. My husband had to cut it off with wire cutters.

I miss him terribly.

WOW! what a story but I still think he look so beautiful with that metal bowl on his neck, God Bless him and am sure he met my Buster up in Heven too, always here, Jorge Click to view attachment

Thank you Jorge. I loved him with that metal bowl around his neck too. He was always getting into something. Even at his old age. I always worried about him. He even got up on the kitchen counter one time and ate a pan of double chocolate brownies. His stomach bloated up so big. I was so scared. He got through that...with a little Pepto. Then two days later ate some pork chops from the trash too. You would have thought he learned...but he never did.

Remembering things like this helps me smile, but then I shed tears because I miss it so much.

I never would have guessed it either. Wow...it must have been nervous time until hubby used the wire cutters.

Sounds like your baby kept you busy.......it is a special kind of loneliness when one's sweetheart always managed to
find something to get attention...bless their hearts!

I smiled that you did get those pictures of him. He looks very unconcerned there about the metal bowl around his neck.

We do miss them forever as we can never forget them and wish so very much they had been given more time with us.

Hugs and thanks for the story!

Judy

Today is a rough day for some reason. I thought the tears were behind me...but I guess not. I see his pictures and I want so bad to touch him.

Hi, Marcie, I'm at lunch right now at work, so I thought I would log in to catch up on the posts. Isn't it amazing the mischief our furkids get themselves into? Thank goodness your husband was able to cut off that trash can top. I am sorry you are having a difficult day today. There is nothing like a soft furry body rubbing up against us, or snuggling in our arms. It's hard adjusting our lives without the blessing of our sweet precious furkids' physical presence with us. Eventually we do "accustom" ourselves to this change, but the good news is that they are forever indelibly imprinted in our hearts and in our memories. Thank you so much for sharing your pictures of Omar with us, Marcie. And please know you are in my thoughts and prayers.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Thanks moon beam. He definitely has been imprinted in my heart. I was browsing dog adoption sites today online...just to look...I love looking. There were a couple that looked so much like Omar. If I could have, I would adopt them all. What made me so sad were the 10 yr olds and up that are now homeless. I wish I was stronger now to adopt a dog in need like that, but I couldn't go through the aging part again so soon. One day at a time.

Hi, Marcie. When you are ready to embrace a new furchild in your heart and home you will know it. I know what you mean about wanting to adopt every furry face you see. I have been like that since I was a very young child - - for many many many many many . . . . years. I am the "strange" one in my family for my affection of the fur "people", so it's nice for me to be able to have this forum where I can share my love of furkids of every shape and size and variety with other fellow fur parents. And please know, Marcie, that Omar is right there with you looking at each of the fur faces. I can just hear him softly whisper, "Hey, mom, what about this guy / gal?" "Hey, mom, check this one out!" And one day, you will also hear him whisper to you, "Hey, mom, I'm so glad you've found a new furchild to love." And then you'll know all is well. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Marcie. And please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Thanks moon beam. It's tough. We left for the beach again spur of the moment Friday night. I now find I love to just up and go away. It's hard to be home. Now I'm home, and my house is so lonely again. The 'pain' is lessening...but the 'empty' feeling is still so there. I'm gonna have to wait a while for another furbaby. I'm afraid I may compare every little furbaby to Omar now. Kids are busy with their sports, and we are always going. It was hard towards the last months with Omar because I had two kids playing baseball...on 3 teams...and we were always going...or I was running home to let him out...then leaving again, and the guilt was killing me. I don't want to do that with a new puppy. So we will see.

You will know when the time is right. Just as I am waiting for the right time. Just haven't made a connection yet. I love to look also. It is sad that there are so many fur babies out there needing a loving home.
Just hang in there!!!

Hugs to Ya!!!!!!!!

I think that's it. I will need a 'connection'. We will see.

Omar baby, you have been gone 3 weeks today. Oh I miss you so. The house isn't the same without you. I miss you being under foot all the time. Food is dropped and it just sits there. The doors are left open now with no fear of a furry guy getting in stuff. The grass is now getting un-yellow. I hear thunderstorms and no teeth chattering. I look at your pictures and still cry. Not a day has gone by that you have not been on my mind at least 80% of the day. I miss your bark...I miss your groaning at me for either a treat or to go outside. I miss your nails making a tapping sound on the kitchen floor when you do your 'treat dance'. I miss accidently kicking your water bowl and water spilling out on the kitchen floor. I miss your hair all over the steps where you loved to lay. I miss almost falling down the stairs because you decided to lay in a bad spot as I'm coming down the stairs. I miss stepping on your beef bones with bare feet. I miss your greetings as I come home. I miss our staring contests and you always winning. I miss our sharing of popcorn..even though you couldn't hear well, you knew when I made popcorn. I hope you're doing well at the Rainbow Bridge and are behaving. I want you to know how hard it was for me to let you go. I wanted to keep you with me for all eternity, but I couldn't see you deteriorate the way you were. I hope you forgive me. It was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do.

I Love You to the moon and back.

Goodmorning,

I Love the way people talk to their furbabies the way I do. I makes me feel so good when I post messages to her.
We do miss them so much. Things we used to get aggrivated about (like spilling their water bowl) we now miss and would give anything for those things again.
I bet Omar is having lots of fun at the Rainbow Bridge!!!!!

Just wanted to say hi this morning and tell you keep posting to Omar he IS listening!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hugs!!!!!

Thank you sissycat. I like remembering all the things he did...good and bad. Now the bad seem so good. It's a hard day...but I must move forward.

Take care.
Marcie

Wow Omar. Tomorrow will be 4 weeks since you left us. I can't believe that long has already passed. We really miss you. The boys started school today. I missed hearing you bark at the kids out front and at the bus. You would get all excited looking out the window at the kids thinking they were all there to play with you. I still catch myself seeing something in the dark and it resembling you, and I jump thinking for a moment it is you. But then I remember it can't be you, because you have gone and are waiting for me at the Rainbow Bridge. I still have your big bag of dog food. I can't bare to throw it out. I keep finding your hair on the carpet now, and I scoop it up and put it in a baggy. You had so much fur that when I would brush you I teased I could make another puppy out of it. Maybe if I find enough of your fur around the house I can do that now?? I still miss petting you. I miss your soft fur. Your sweet face looking at me as to tell me something. I watched Brayden and Austin the other day. The first thing Brayden (3) said to me when he walked in the house was "Where's doggy?" I had to tell him "Doggy is gone". Austin (6) knows you are gone, and he gave me a hug. Then asked me what the wooden box was with your collar around it. It was hard for me to explain to him what 'ashes' were. I think I scared him. He doesn't remember his own doggy ashes his mom has put away in her room.

Well sweet dreams my Omar baby. I would love to kneel down and give you kisses on your snout while you are sleeping. Then whisper in your ear...I Love You Baby...to the moon and back. Just one more time.

I miss you bunches.

These two pictures were taken the morning I took him to the vet...one last time.

Omar baby. I'm having a rough day today without you. I seem to think I'm over the hard part, but then it comes back again. I can't pin point what brings it on, but I miss you soooooooooooooooooooo very much right now. When will the tears stop?? When will the hoping this is all a bad dream end? When will the pain end? We have your urn all nice with your picture and collar on it. We need to get our plaque engraved still. I can't think where to put you though. You were everywhere. I want to put it in the stairs since the landing between the two was your favorite place to lay. Protector. You were great. I miss you so much baby. I can't imagine ever having something as great as you were. I hope you are doing well. Hopefully NanNan is taking care of you. Or you are taking care of her. And my old dog Rocky. He was a great dog too. Two great dogs in my lifetime. I don't know if I can do a third. It hurts too much when they leave.

I love you baby. To the moon and back.

Found some pictures of Omar today while cleaning out my computer. Made me miss him so much. Thought I would share for anyone interested. These two are April 07...Easter

April 07

May 07

July 4, 2007. This is Omar on the right with his puppy hood best friend Shaina. Shaina passed away Feb 14, 2008. Omar is with her again...playing like old times.

August 8, 2007....almost a year to the day. He looked so healthy and young...wow.

Hi, Omarmommy, thank you so much for sharing your pictures of Omar with us. I can sympathize with how empty your heart and your life must feel right now. The anniversaries of losses can be very hard to "get through". And that is one of the reasons why it is helpful to have others we can talk to who understand our loss. Omar's sweet living Spirit is forever with you in your heart and memories, Omarmommy, and we are honored to be able to share in your memories of him. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and look forward to hearing from you when possible.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Thank you for sharing these pictures of Omar. I can easily see giving him a big kiss on the top of that nose. I used to do that with my canine best friends for I had shepherds mostly and like Omar, they have a snout to grab and kiss.

you said earlier: Two great dogs in my lifetime. I don't know if I can do a third. It hurts too much when they leave.


If you feel it is meant to be, you will do a third. Yes, it hurts too much...and I have had more than 2 leave but I always
remember how many need to give and get love and appreciate a home so very much and with that unconditional love,
there is never ever any judgment. They always love us just for being ourselves.

My favorite saying from a mom here is: The pain of losing him will never ever be greater than the joy of knowing him.

I think of that often and it helps ease the pain. I would not trade the many years of joy to avoid the sadness for the time
with them was always more than worth it.

I wish you peace and healing and I know when you look into a pair of big eyes one day...you will know you just made a
connection.

Hugs
Judy

Thanks moon beam. I just realized that today is 5 weeks and I woke up so sick I stayed home. No sick physically, but emotionally. I hope this won't be every Wednesday. I have had some nights...while laying in the dark, that I hear things in the house. I get up to check things out, and everyone is sound to sleep. My windows are closed, so I have no idea what it is. I get all comfy again, and hear something again. Some times I get a 'feeling', but it's hard to describe. I seemed to always know when Omar came up to sleep with me. He would be quiet, but I could sense a presence I guess that he came threw the door. Sometimes he would grunt when he went to lay down or get comfy. I loved it. So I'm not sure if the 'feeling' I get is him coming to bed with me at night still...but I just can't see him. God I wish I could see him. Even if it was for just one last time. I miss him dearly.

Thanks Judy. It's a tough day again for me. I wonder if I had another furpup if things would get better. I guess time will tell. I'm sure there will be a pair of big eyes looking into mine again some day. Some day.

Ouch, I think I actually miss that too, but boy, did it hurt.

And you cracked me up about kicking the water bowl. Can't tell you how many times I did that.

Your post brought a smile to me. Thanks for sharing.

Candy's Dad
Hal

I'm glad I could help you smile Hal. I know there are days I need a little help.

Hugs,
Marcie

Thank you AngelCareOne. That is so sweet. I love that picture of Omar. So young and healthy.

I found a piece of fur today...at the oddest place. WORK! I brought a box into the office that I wanted to use to mail something at the post office. When I went to seal it closed, I found a piece of fur stuck to the address label that was on it. I picked it off...tickled my nose with it a few times and then got a piece of tape and taped it on a piece of paper at my desk so it's with me here. I miss him. Seeing pictures of him brings tears to me more now it seems. They are good and sad tears. Can't believe it's been so long.

Dearest Omarmommy, I feel so very, very thrilled for you! How wonderful, Hon. Okay, I took another photo of Omar and ... This is the very first time I've used these enhancing features so I didn't get it quite right and sort of messed up your fur baby Omar's right (well, really left) eye when I did painting and ... Well, the size, shape and so on of his iris and pupil aren't just right yet. But! I still have in save the original so will go back and practice some more until I get it down to a fine science. Anywhooo, this is what I have so far and will make it better. I hope you like it and it brings you some comfort and joy, Dear One!

Tons of Hugs and Sloppy Omar Fur Dog Puppy Kisses!!!



Big Hugs and Lotsa Love to You and Fur Kid Omar!!!

Your Pal Always,
Dottie xoxoxox

Thanks Dottie. I love that picture. It's funny...when I see his picture I feel like his presence is near, and it seems like yesterday that he was here. I just ordered his nameplate for the urn. Today is a rough day for some reason. Maybe it was because we had people over to watch football and Omar was always under everyone's feet hoping to get a little treat as they ate. I was always having to scoot him away or shut the basement door. I missed that today. I missed hearing his nails make sounds on our stone floor down there.

Just wanted to say thinking of you!!!

Hugs

Thanks Sissycat. It means a lot to me to hear that. When will the tears end?? I'm starting to feel like a real idiot. I should be used to him being gone by now. Right?? Why am I the only one still hurting in my home?

you said: When will the tears end?? I'm starting to feel like a real idiot. I should be used to him being gone by now. Right?? Why am I the only one still hurting in my home?

The tears never end. We just start controlling them better. Then out of the blue, one day, we will be overwhelmed by them again. It is all so normal when we lose one who has been so much a part of our everyday life, especially over years.

I don't think a few months would have you used to him being gone. That short time cannot erase the times over the years he was right there.

As far as the only one hurting....we all hurt in our own ways. I am not over my boy who I lost last year in September...my husband is over it. But if he allows himself to think about it and what happened last year..he would start crying too. He doesn't want to think about it cause he says it hurts too much to think about it and he is able to push it out of his mind.

Maybe women are more emotional and we are raised it is okay to cry. Boys used to be told not to cry. I am sure your husband is in pain in his own way but maybe he is able to push it in the back of his mind as mine does.

There is no time limit on grieving. Sometimes we just grieve to ourselves. Sometimes we post here and write a note to our little sweetheart that we miss so very much. Anything that makes us feel better is the right thing to do.

There is always understanding here. You are never alone here. Sometimes I cry while typing and it is hard to see through tears..but it just seems like here...it is okay to cry. It is okay to still miss my boy.

If it upsets others in our life to see us still grieving...it is probably better to grieve in private for we never want to feel we can't do what helps us feel better. This kind of loss one can't just get over so others feel better. We have to feel better...that takes time to heal. The pain is because we miss our special pal so very much. And we will always miss them because we love them and will never stop loving them. We treasure their photos and the memories we have with them.
In time, that is what will help us smile again. Knowing they are not suffering anymore helps accept the absence.

It is okay to cry. It is okay to miss Omar.

I wish you peace and healing and send you hugs to help your pain. I know that pain. We all do. We live with it everyday also.

Omar is a beautiful boy!
I ache for you and I ache for all of us. Loss is so.....painful. and draining. I am so grateful that I found this site and the people here who fully understand grief. I feel your pain. I ache your ache. I wish I could make it stop for all of us.

Thank you LoveThem. Yes...I'm sitting here with tears streaming down my cheeks...again. It won't be the last I'm sure. I guess when I feel like I must be better, it starts again. I still sit out back in the evenings and watch for birds...none. My brown grass is turning green for the first time in this house. I don't have to vacuum daily to pick up his fur...but man I would love to. I truly appreciate everyone here in my time of need. Thank you.

Hugs,
Marcie

Thank you Mikki. I tend to think Omar was a gorgeous boy too. Something different about him. I wish we didn't have to lose, but I guess it helps us appreciate. It sucks though.

Hugs,
Marcie

Today is a VERY hard day for some reason. I have been trying to keep busy, but it's not getting easier. I had my first "Omar" dream since he's been gone last night. I thought it would give me peace, but instead it was like I lost him all over again. He came to me in my dream...we were outside, but on my bed??? He just rolled all over my bed and I kept telling him he had to go back to heaven. I said this repeatedly until he left me again. I remember rolling all over my bed trying to get his fur on me. Now today I can't get him out of my head, and I can't stop crying. I'm not wearing any makeup and everyone at work thinks I have a cold. I'm beside myself with grief again. Ho hum. Will this ever get easy??? I haven't been out back in about a month now. I would have no idea if something was amiss because I just can't go back there.

Omar baby...I miss you so very much!!! I hope you are enjoying yourself where you are. Mommy loves you dearly.

Sometimes dreams can be very upsetting, especially during the first few months after a loved one has passed away. I'm so sorry you had such a disturbing dream about your sweet Omar.

I hope future dreams bring you the peace you are seeking and not any more disturbing ones. One of things I always do before going to sleep is read something very uplifting that puts my mind and heart in a peaceful place. Just remember you are not alone.........we are here for each other through the good days as well as the tough days.

Sweet dreams Omarmommy with hugs and love from my heart,
Beth

OmarMommy, First, I am so so sorry for your loss. There is nothing I can say to ease the pain and bring that devastation to a level that is something you can take comfort in, having just lost my baby. I have had a few dreams, and I even had a "sign," of a shooting star right after I said aloud "Brandy, if you can hear mommy, let me know you are okay." I nearly froze when that star moved in the sky, and to think I would get peace, I then cried so so much. I don't want her to be afraid and not come to me again. So I have to keep telling myself that. I know how upsetting and painful it is to see them in our dreams, come back to being awake and then they are physically gone again, the reminders, the reality. All I can say is I am where you are, and I know our babies would not want us to suffer. I say this but haven't been able to do it yet. How about together, I try if you will to just come here, share, and try to remember the love and know we all will be together again someday. It's all I can muster to offer, but I do care.

Be well, thinking of you and all those whose babies have passed on,
Carol

Carol,

I want to first say I'm sorry for your loss of your Brandy Noel. Seems like you and I almost had our furbabies about the same time. Omar lived 4/94 to 8/08. I want to also thank you for your kind words when you are also hurting at this time. I really thought by now it would be easier, but it seems to be harder. ?? Not sure why. I can say I'm now more used to the day to day routine being broken...but his presence I'm missing still so dearly. I know some day I will do it again, and bring home another furbaby, but can I really "bond" with another one when I hold Omar so high in my heart?? I know you do for babies, because I do have two children, and I love them both the same. I have had two dogs in my life...the first for 13 yrs, and then Omar for 14, and I did love them both dearly, so I guess that's my answer...I can...when the time is right. I know it's not now. I have been looking at breeds of dogs and I have actually found two I would like some day when I am ready. One is an Aussiepoo and the other is a Schnoodle. I think I would like to get two for once...I guess hoping they can be eachother's friends. I too had a experience like you did with the shooting star. Mine was with a bird though. I was sitting out back shortly after Omar passed and I was crying away looking in the sky. I was looking for a LONG time, and then I asked Omar to please let me know he's okay...and I got a bird that flew by. I then asked him to let me know if he still loved me...and I got about 7 birds fly by. I also cried my eyes out. I have not had any more signs, but it's also too cold to sit outside. I still sense his presence if you will when I'm laying in bed trying to fall asleep. I never could hear him actually walk into my room at night, but I could 'feel' him...and I still 'feel' that. I have never told anyone. I also hear his chain collar make noise sometimes also.

I hope time heals your heart also...and I thank God we have eachother here.

Hugs,
Omarmommy

Beth,

I thank you for your kind words. I too hope my dreams can bring me some peace I'm looking for. I know he's okay, I don't doubt that, but that dream really seemed to tear me up. I lost my mother in law a couple years back, and that tore me up for a LONG time, and I have dreamt of her since, but they never seemed to linger with me like mine of Omar. I think I'm also feeling guilty because for a while I could still 'think' of how his fur felt when I would stroke his head and neck...and how he smelt when I would kiss his face and ears, but lately I can't. That saddens me terribly thinking I'm on my way to forget those things I don't want to forget. There are some things about my mother in law that I can still remember...like her voice and sayings she would say all the time...just like they were yesterday, so I'm not sure how I can forget these things of Omar.

Once again, thank you.

Hugs,
Omarmommy

Omarmommy,

I wanted to tell you that I went back to page one of this thread and read your story, everything that you went through and the love and bond you will always have with your furbaby. I saw the pictures and could see the love and the peace in his eyes. That shines right through the computer screen to me. My deepest sympathies to you, and I can say this from the bottom of my heart, I understand completely. You are correct, our dogs each had about the same amount of time here on Earth. My baby has been gone about 2-1/2 weeks and it feels like 30 seconds ago. I know I am in what is called "the early stages," and I fear going to the next stage, yet I welcome it. The pain I feel each and every moment is so so excruiating. So if that gives you any sense of knowing you aren't alone, please know I understand. I don't know you at all, but I always feel you can tell a lot about a person by how they treat an animal. And to know yours was like a kid to you, well that speaks volumes to your character and kindness as a human being.

If you go to my thread about Brandy Noel you can read what my baby experienced and basically how it happened. You don't have to, but the story is there. I can't bear repeating it or I wouldn't get through my work day. I can relate to everything you said and the emptiness, the missing, the hurt.

I have to tell you, I too want another dog or two. I have even been online looking. I decided to wait til Spring or Summer just to be sure I will still feel that, to try to at least get through some of this devastation on some level, and I just don't want to see my vet that soon after losing Brandy. That may be selfish of me but it is how I feel. I will lose it walking into our vet, seeing the room where my baby passed to Heaven, where it "happened." Your Omar's passing at the vet is very similar to what my Brandy went through. That was a tortuous decision and I still don't know how I did it. But I didn't want her to suffer, to know there could be a worsening and it would not get better. You did the right thing for your baby yet I know the agony of the missing is there. I know it with every fiber of my being.

I am trying to somehow take comfort in the words being expressed in this forum. I read and re-read them, look at other people's experiences and hope to gain some sense of comfort from their journey and what worked for them. I am really trying. I know Brandy wouldn't want me to grieve this way, but I can't help it. It hurts so much to look around and not SEE her. So I say all this because I am walking that path with you. Perhaps finding your thread here and feeling a connection in some way means our furkids have met in Heaven. Your baby looks like the kind of dog that would make friends easily and be very loved by all those around him, both on Earth and in Heaven.

Blessings of comfort to you, write if you ever need an ear. I am sorry for what you are going through,

Carol

I know it is hard..very hard to grieve. I lost my last boy in Sept of 07 and came here. I cried and cried until the crying seemed more depressing than not crying. It didn't help me after a while. I could not help myself all by myself and so after suffering through the Holidays with the pain..I adopted a shelter cat the day after Christmas 07. He was the distraction I needed to keep me from constantly thinking about missing my boy. I could not do it alone. I would have gotten one sooner but my husband said he needed time so I waited but then in December....I said I had to start looking to find a connection...at least that would keep me busy...it took visits to various places and a couple of weeks but when I found my new boy...looking into his eyes reminded me so very much of my Little Guy and I knew I wanted to take him home. That was what helped me bear an empty home...no little furbaby racing around and making me laugh. My new boy makes me laugh.

you said: I know some day I will do it again, and bring home another furbaby, but can I really "bond" with another one when I hold Omar so high in my heart?? I know you do for babies, because I do have two children, and I love them both the same. I have had two dogs in my life...the first for 13 yrs, and then Omar for 14, and I did love them both dearly, so I guess that's my answer...I can...when the time is right. I know it's not now. I have been looking at breeds of dogs and I have actually found two I would like some day when I am ready. One is an Aussiepoo and the other is a Schnoodle. I think I would like to get two for once...I guess hoping they can be each other's friends.

You seem to be open to the same idea. As far as being ready...I decided I was ready when I asked myself...since my crying was not making me feel better...what would make me feel better and my answer was....another one to hug and hold....I missed doing that so very much. Feeling the love and appreciation from one who needed a home helped me also.

I wish you peace and healing. It does take time and some, like me, at times...just need more help than just trying to deal with it alone.

Hugs and peace..

Judy

Dear Sweet Loving Marcie, I want to share with you what I did with Casey's Mom on November the third. It was magically healing to me honest and for true. So, please grab a cool refreshing beverage before continuing because this is going to be a little long. From the very beginning of my nightmare starting 10/16/2007, I've shared bunches and bunches with my friend Debbie. Oh, she is so wise! I'm going to copy and paste three emails between Debbie and me that just took place only two days. In fact, if you'd like to see them and don't mind giving me your email address via a Private Message, I'll forward them to you so you can read for yourself and know all I'm going to say is so including the date of our email exchange to each other. I'll just post the parts of the emails which have to do with my loss and Debbie's newest fur baby beginning right now ...


"Hi Dottie!

That was so cute! I liked it when the chick was sliding down the dog and all lined up down his back. I noticed the cat pawed at something when the chicks were around and thought it was a chick, but it was a toy mouse! Pretty dog and cat too, don't you think?

Thanks for sharing.

I hope you're feeling better. Swing by CBS sometime!

Love,
Debbie"


*Note: Marcie, I had sent Debbie a really darling video of a precious Pit Bull doggie, adorable mixed Siamese kitty and half a dozen tiny baby chicks who had imprinted so believed the doggie and kitty were their mom and dad. Oh, I'll put the link here for you so you can enjoy too, Dear. It's one minute and 32 seconds and all an amazing "Moment of Ahhh!" Turn up volume and click here. Talk about imprinting gone awry. Awww! I hope that made you smile. Also CBS means Catbird Seat and is a lovely message board. And now here's my response email to Debbie's email above beginning now ...


"Hi Debbie,

I'm so glad you got a kick out of that video. Awww! So awesome, sweet and dear. If only all (humans) could get along like that, what a great place the world would be. You betcha.

Errr ... Since you asked, I'll tell you just a little but this ain't no "pity party" cuz you know how much I hate that. It's more of a Joe Friday on the old Dragnet TV series: "Just the facts, Ma'am." Heh. Sooo ...

I miss Alex so gosh awfully terribly fierce. My Friend, I haven't been able to eat or sleep but at least I keep busy and do put on my happy face, voice and appearance. I find that when I comfort others so grief stricken and devastated it helps me a whole bunch, too.

I write to Alex practically every day and sometimes twice a day giving him pictures and images he loved so much when he was alive. Oh, and the videos we watched together, too. Really very beautiful indeed! I've only made about 3 sad posts with images and songs (videos) to speak what I want so much to say but that's in the "Pet Loss Support" area of the board. In the Tribute area, I only give Alex the most wonderful, beautiful, songs, videos, pictures, images, poems and the like. I owe that to him, Debbie. I sure do.

And, I talk with him lots and lots, too. Mostly, I reassure him that "Mamma's doing just fine so don't you worry a bit, Sweet Baby Boy Alex." Oh, I do remember how upset and worried he would get whenever I was sad or very sick. He'd try to cheer me up in ways I'd love to share with you. Sooooo Sweet! Awww! But, there was always the, "Mama! Mama! I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!" He always used that phrase to express sympathy and, on occasion remorse. After repeating that a few times and even during saying it, Alex would cry ...

Debbie, I know wherever he is that he sees and hears me. So, I try my da*nedest to keep reassuring him that I'm fine and also keep telling him how very, very much I love him.

Well, that's enough for now. How's your new kitty doing? With your other fur babies yet? Getting along together or what? Spill it woman. Hehehe!

Hugs and Love You Oodles and Boodles,
Dottie

PS. I do visit The Catbird Seat practically every day to read and enjoy. Such a pleasure and thank you so much, Hon! More Hugs!!!"


Marcie, now here's Debbie's most sincere, heartfelt, loving, compassionate and oh so wise response to me in email beginning now ...


"Hi Dottie *tight hugs*

I wish I could take away your pain. It is something that is necessary to heal a badly injured heart and soul and everyone faces it at sometime in their lives.

I miss my Mother, but it is a part of life.

If I had a child like your Alex, it would be extremely difficult to get through, and you'd go through the "only if" scenarios over and over again.

My kitties are like my children and I still grieve for each and every one of them that I've lost over the years. They are precious jewels that are so fragile and are only with us as long as a shooting star. We are lucky God gave us these little gifts of friendships/companionships to help us travel down life's highway.

It's ok to be sad and cry and miss Alex. It is good you are finding comfort in comforting others because we all need it at one time or another. Soon those that have accepted the loss, which is so damn irrefutable, and move on. We can't escape our memories, so we must pick at them like a scab until it no longer hurts as much.

I hope after a while you will find a peaceful acceptance and know we WILL see our beloved pets when it is our turn to cross that boundary of mysteries.

Take care,
Debbie"


Sweet Marcie, I hope and pray that my sharing Debbie's message to me has at least half the comforting and warm feelings for you regarding your Omar fur kid as it does for me and my Alex baby boy. And, Debbie explains all things great and small so very, very beautifully. It is truly The Circle of Life!

Tons of Hugs, Love, Peace and Many Angels to You and Fur Child Omar!!!

Always,
Dottie xoxoxox