Glad to hear about Goose. I see Goliath's reply and love and totally agree with her last sentence.

Just give him lots of hugs and tell him what a wonderful boy he is (I'm sure he'll never get tire of hearing that ).

As far as these babies are concerned...the time we have with them is always much too short but we can't change that very much usually.

Every day with them is a priceless gift. We can look into their eyes and see the love there and smile and hug them and tell them how special they are.

Hugs to you and Goose..your bond will last forever.

Dear Victoria, part of the allure of animals is that they love us for who we are for real. Don't hide your tears about your other baby, they will help you through the greiving process.

Most of us come here because we are greiving, and can't get what we need from humans to help the hurt go away. So we come here to share our experiences. I'm not even sure how I found this place, but I'm so happy I did. Everyone here is so giving, if the whole world had the mindset of the people here, we would truely have a utopic society.
I have mulitple animals too, since Bue is gone they have taken up the slack big time.

Hang in there with Goose, do what your heart tells you to, if they tell you no way, and your heart says way, do what your heart says, I did that with Ian, and he lived another 5 yrs.. Jack Russels are a very enrgetic dog, I wish you the best of luck, and know we are here for you, ok?

Post a more pics of your baby it could help you.
This is Ian

I also find this forum very comfortable and rewarding. This is where I come when I get home from work to relax and find a little bit of peace of mind.

I have many co-workers who care about me very much. We do talk about my hurts as well as my joy and happiness in my journey to recovering from such a heartbreaking and unexpected death of my sweet Goliath. There are many very loving human beings both here as well as outside of here that I surround myself with that provide the nurturing I need to heal.

The love that is carried in my heart is extended to all I come in contact with. It is my love for Goliath that keeps my heart beating and loving. To all of you here I will say thank you for lending me your ears and hearts. All of you have helped me come a long way in my journey of healing and I will always be grateful to each and every one of you.

Peace and many blessings are sent to all of you with love from the bottom of my heart.

Update:
Well Goose is starting to have more bad days then good ones. Its very hard, I cry every night. I know it will be soon. I walked to the back of our property today as the snow has melted. Its the first time since I lost J-dog. Made me cry..... I miss that dog so much. And now I have to do it again.. I'm glad you all listen to my heart, it is comforting.. I'm at work and I'm crying again

Goose is starting to stummble like he's dizzy. And breathing heavy. We are still doing SQ fluids. He is still eating.

Sorry to hear Goose is having problems. Have you called your vet about what is happening now...as an update report? Maybe he knows something that could help.

Hugs to you and Goose

Awwwwww Victoria I am so saddened to hear that Goose's health is declining. For this to be happening so close to your loss of J-Dog is hearbreaking for me to even read. I can only imagine what you must be going through. One loss is devastating enough to cope with let alone another, especially only 5 months apart.

Just know that we are here to listen to you. The love shared in the people who truly care are found in this forum where we help support each other in our grief. I have never encountered a place filled with so many compassionate, understanding, and loving people all in one place.

Keep us posted as best as you can Victoria. In the meantime I will be sure to keep you and Goose in my prayers.

Much love and warms hugs
Beth

Victoria,
I am so sorry to hear this. My thoughts and prayers are with you and Goose and I hope that you both are ok.

Ok I need so encouragement! Goose is doing better but it very much like a roller coster. Up one day down the next. The vet said its the nature of his problems. He said he is doing very well with the levels of his test. The vet said most dogs would of pass already. This is so hard just watching and waiting. He is leaking a little too so pee is getting all over the house and thats hard too. I know it should be no big deal because we still have him around. Sorry for complaining so much

I am so glad to see that Goose is doing better. The ups and downs show his will to live. His will and your hope have given you more days together than what you had expected. That's a miracle in of itself.

As for the peeing in the house, carpets can be washed and floors cleaned. I do understand the frustration though because my Gidget started peeing in the house after Goliath passed away. She became depressed in looking for him because she didn't know where he was. We are working together on solving that matter. Would he allow you to put a diaper on him? He may feel embarrassed himself since he can't help it. You may feel less frustrated yourself. ( Just a thought Victoria.)

No doubt this up down up down roller coaster you are living is a difficult ride. But it will get smoother as time goes on. As you make Goose as comfortable as possible you will also find comfort and hold the love and hope in your heart. I am an optimist to a fault and never give up on what I truly seek in life.

Keep coming here where there is hope and words of encouragement. Live in this moment as yesterday is a cancelled check and tomorrow is just a promisary note. Today is what matters. Yours and Goose's bound hearts will keep you together forever.

Much love and many hugs to you Victoria. Keep coming back and sharing your hopes and dreams as well as your doubts and frustrations.

Victoria: I agree with everything Goliath just said to you. And, as I was reading your post about Goose leaking, even before I read Goliath's suggestion of a diaper, I thought about when my female dogs were in heat and they were in the house, I had a special washable thingy that fit around their tail and covered that area so it was like wearing a diaper or a pad. But then Goose is a male so it would have to be more of a diaper.
Doggies usually let you do anything you want to them so maybe it is something you can try even if for part of the day.

It is heartwarming to hear your vet say how Goose's spirit is keeping him going and with you longer. My Little Guy was sick as a kitten and pulled through and fought off pneumonia at about 8 weeks old and lived the longest. Sounds like Goose has that same kind of spirit.

Take Care and our prayers are with you and Goose.
Hugs to both of you

Judy

Victoria
Im so sorry for your loss of JDog and to hear about Gooses ill health

my thoughts and prayers are with you sweetie
Hugz
Rozlyn

Well just an update on Goose: He seems to be doing better the Vet is just amazed and calls him a wonder dog. He will be 15 in Aug and it looks like at this time he;s going to make it. I soooo miss my J-Dog. We will be moving to AZ soon and the hardest part is that Jay lived his whole life in our house. I feel like I will be leaving him behine. Just one more thing to deal with.

Hang in there Victoria. You will come along just fine.

I was glad to see Goose is still with you too. When you move, you may leave the house behind but J-Dog will go with you no matter where you go, as he lives and is quite well in your heart.

I know the feeling- we are moving out of state in May too. I'm just trying not to think about it even though, I know, deep down, that Beth is right.

I am so happy to hear that Goose is doing well! Thank you for the update.

Wonderful news about Goose, Victoria. Sounds like you did get a true miracle of added time.
We were all praying for Goose and you and it is so great to hear he is doing better.

Each day we have them longer ...we are truly blessed.

Give that boy a big hug from all his aunts and uncles here!

Hugs, Victoria...you took care of him so well and he has shown he is a fighter.

I know J-dog was raised where you are now and you are moving but his spirit is in you and where you go, so does he. He wouldn't let you leave him behind.

Keep us updated...we love to hear the good news that happens..it gives others hope just when they need it and as for the rest of us, I know it always makes me smile...and that makes my day.

Judy

Hi all
How many of you come here ready to say something about your lost pet and then begin to read all the post (well maybe not all but at least 3). And then start to cry because you feel there pain and heartack? I was going to talk to day but just can't. Spring is in the air and it;s going to come in without my J-dog. Feeling very down today. Just got the license renewal today and Jays name is still on it. Makes me sad once again!!

I know what you mean Victoria. Spring means heartworm season and I had to start Gidget & Browser on their cubes. There were still 2 doses for Goliath in the drawer with his name on them. So often I run across something unexpected that catches me completely off guard. At times it is in something that someone says here that hits me once again like a mack truck. The good news is when these times occur, the sadness doesn't last as long as it used to.

There are many things of Goliath's I haven't looked at in a very long time. One of these days I will pull Goliath's little puppy mementos storage box out from under the bed. So far I have not been able to bring myself to do that. In time when I am ready I will though, and when I do I know I will have a good long bout of tears.

Hugs of comfort to you Victoria.

Had a really hard weekend with my friend Judy. Her dog Gunner had to be put down. We drove down to the Vets, which was my same vet. I went in with her to take Gunner to the Rainbow bridge. The table was right next to where Jay-Dog was put down. It would seem that Goose is out living all his buddys. I do know I will be visiting this with Goose soon. Man all the dogs my dogs grew up with are all passing at the same time. And it seem all my friend are calling me to help them through it. Thats ok it help me too! I think real soon I am going to be able to share some really great storys about J-Dog.

Sometimes things work out in very mysterious ways. Taking a big part in helping others through their grief and pain often lends healing to our own broken hearts. I am sorry however to hear that it seems so many are passing so close together. In a way that may be comforting to you, as you will know they are not alone. All of these furry loved ones will be together. I often wonder who Goliath is hanging out with.

I look forward to hearing your stories of J-Dog and rejoice in that you and Goose have had this quality time together. It's good to see you again Victoria. May you be blessed and find peace as you continue your journey of healing.

Thanks so much goliath. I like comming here!

Victoria....we like you coming here also. We always wonder how you and Goose are doing and when you have a moment to stop by, it brings a smile to our faces when you are able to share good news with us...about Goose. Everyday is a blessing and we pray you two have many more days of quality time together. Just remember to always give him a hug from us.

I know it is hard when your friends lose their special ones but I am sure they are glad you are there because they know you truly understand what they are going through as you, just like us, have been there and when we say we understand, there can be no doubt.

We look forward to stories of J-dog when you have the time and are ready.

Don't forget that hug for Goose (and for you, too).

I second everything LoveThem just said. You like coming here and I like seeing you Victoria.

Hugs to you,
Beth

Sorry there has been no update in a while but we have been moving. We moved from Ca to AZ both Goose and Dinky made the move with flying colors. Goose is doing much better here in AZ. In Ca we lived at 8000 ft, and that was a lot for his heart condition. Now we are much lower and he really seems to be doing much better. I thought only cats had 9 lives LOL. Goose is an amazing dog! But today is going to be hard... My husband and I could not move at the same time we still have a business in CA so he will comute every month or so till we sell our other house. So it just me and the dogs. I know Goose will miss his daddy very much, but I will try to make up for him. My job tommorow will be to meet the (possible) new vet. I have an appointment to check out the vet hospital. Hopefully he will be a good vet.

We do have some freinds here so it won't be too lonely. I asked today if something was to happen to Goose while my husband was away could they help me bury Goose. They said yes. We have made a plan as to where we will bury him. Goose has given us much more time than we ever thought we would have. We set him up a kiddie pool on the back deck and he loves it. Will try to get a picture of him in it. It will make you smile, it does us every day. I really do miss my j-dog I really thought he would move with us. Guess one never knows when they are going to go. I have worked through most of the hard part and now I'm on the good memorys (for the most part). Anyway thanks for letting me share.
Victoria

It's so nice to see you again Victoria. I have often thought about you and wondered how the move went. Glad to hear Goose is still with you and doing well. My hubby is out of town for close to a month at a time too. It's hard to get used to, but in time you will adapt. That was very insightful on your part to make arrangements with your friends in case something happens to Goose, even though I know it was very hard for you.

It is truly amazing how well Goose is doing after all this time. I'm so glad for you. J-Dog must be watching over all of you well. Sounds to me like he moved right along with you.

I'd love to see Goose in his kiddie pool. Whenever we can let these babies enjoy something they love it bring such happiness. Today is the day my Browser will swim for the very first time. I have a feeling he will love it too because he enjoys the outdoors so much.

Those good memories of J-Dog that you are having now is absolutely fantastic. It feels sooooo good when we finally can get to a place of remembering with a smile and give thanks. This is the gift J-Dog left behind just for you when he passed away.

I hope to see you more often Victoria now that you haved moved and become a bit more settled. Have fun with Goose and Dinky.

Much love to you with a big hug,
Beth

Just another update. Goose is still holding his own. He seem to be stable at the moment. In Aug He will be 15 wow I never thought he would live that long with all his problems. I thought I found a Vet but didn't feel right about it. You know that funny feeling you get but can't put your finger on it. I heard a story of someone taking there dog in to get put down and it took 45 mins for the dog to pass on and it cryed the whole time.
I did take Dinky in to get a blood test so she could begin heartworm meds. It was kind of strange the vet held her and the helper or teck tryed to draw blood, it took her 3 sticks to draw her blood. So I woke up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat think about the other dog. I was wondering if they missed the vein and thats why it took so long for the dog to pass. Anyway I made the choice about finding another Vet. So today I went to another one and met her.I'm glad I did I really liked her she was on the same page as my former Vets that I loved. So I feel much better now.

I am so glad to hear Goose is holding his own. Bless him. 15 years old...what a gift that is.

I am also glad you listened to your inner voice and found a vet you are comfortable with. I can't help but hope that story you heard was wrong somehow. That is unforgivable and no vet should have a license to practice if they don't HELP these sweethearts or don't know how to help them.

I found my inner voice about people has not steered me wrong....everywhere in life but it is so important when it involves a vet.

Hugs to you and Goose.....keep up the good work and I know Goose is always doing his best to help you.

I think I might be going to my new Vet earlyer than I wanted. Dinky for the last 3 days has had blood in her stool. Not alot she had the runs but that cleared up but there is still a little blood at the end of her movement. Should I be worried? She is still eating and does not act like she feels bad. I just get freaked out any time somethings happens because of the loss of J-dog.

To be reassured, I would have the vet check out blood in the stool. Maybe your baby is constipated and straining a little or maybe the vet can prescribe something to help.

It is that old saying about rather being safe than sorry. Blood in the stool should be checked out.
The sooner you ever notice something and have it checked..the better you will feel having done that...and it gives you a chance to talk to the vet about it also...the more information we have, many times will be quite reassuring.

Good luck in whatever you decide. Please keep us updated.

Hi all just another update:
Dinky is fine, but Goose is having a real hard time. He is having alot of bad days in a row. Hope this changes I curled up on his bed with him today and cryed knowing his time is running out. He has been having labored breathing and fainting spells on and off today. I really wanted my husband to see him again before he passes. I really don't want to do this alone. I have had thoughs of putting him down or dying at home. Its just to hard..... If he would go in his sleep that would be the best. I wish our dogs could talk so I would know what he wanted. Well its just a waiting game now. When I think of putting him down all I think of is my little J-dog... Anyway I need some encourgement.

Please call your vet. That breathing and fainting reminded me of the day I had to take Little Guy to the ER and found out it was caused by fluid filling his chest and not allowing his lungs to expand so he couldn't breathe and if I hadn't been home...he would have suffocated to death. At least tell your vet on the phone what is going on or take Goose in for an examination.

I know it is not easy. I have been there and I have been there alone more than once. I could never allow my babies to suffer and if I felt they were....I was at the vet or had the vet come to my home to find out as quickly as possible what was happening.

They are more important than whatever we feel. We just have to find the strength to help them when they cannot help themselves. (I don't believe one can pass with peace on their own).

I don't know how soon your husband can be there but if Goose is having fluid in his chest, it is an emergency..they can put him in an oxygen tent for help right away and maybe buy some time that way.

I just am not strong enough to watch my baby struggle and die..if that's what will happen. It just does not sound like something to tackle on your own without involving your vet.

Please call him. Goose needs you to help him. We find the strength somehow when we see they are suffering. That our way of repaying all that unconditional love they gave us. Maybe the vet CAN help Goose but you have to call him or take him in. I know when I called my vet hospital and said my Little Guy was struggling to breathe...I was told to bring him right in and the whole place was there ready to help him because it is such an emergency.

Hugs and prayers to you and Goose.

I am glad to hear Dinky is okay. That is a blessing.

Goose has been dianosed with a 3 degree AV heart block. He has been out of breath for three years. If he rests he can recover right away. But as he ages it seems to get worst. What he needs is a pacemaker which at his age really will not help as he has other health problems ie.. renal failure + others. And of course I have a new vet. I talked it over with her and she has never seen a dog with this type of heart condition. My old vet said at this point just love him and wait till its time. I believe the time is comming. I all ready know there is nothing that can be done. If he get o2 that would help till he went home then he would be right back in the same state. The hard part is my husband can't come right now (its 13 hours away) plus we can't leave our business. He wants me to wait till the 11th when he can come I think Goose is struggleing to much. If he lays down all the time hes fine. What kind of life is that for him? I'm not sure what I should do????? I need some insight.

The fainting happens because his heart stops beating for about 30 sec than it starts again. His heart rate is anywhere from 32 bpm to 46 bpm its all over the place. I knew this was going to be hard....

When I read if Goose rests, he is okay...I got excited...THEN I read everything.

I am so sorry Victoria. I am glad to hear if he rests he feels somewhat better. It is not the answer but it is comforting to know he can feel somewhat better.

One Mom here recently said she asked her vet about making the decision. She said his response was "Call me when he is not having fun anymore"..something to that effect.

Since I have had to make this decision by myself more than once...years ago I too asked a vet the same question. The response I got was: When the quality of life isn't there anymore.

To that I add in my mind...and there is no cure. It will never go away. Chances are it will get worse. I add everything that I feel gives me the strength to make that decision.

Only you know Goose well. Your husband asks to wait about 14 days. I'm sorry he cannot be there now to see Goose. Does Goose eat normally and does he lay down to eat? What about his going to the bathroom..is that an effort? You said you feel he is struggling too much. Is what is happening now much worse than how his last few weeks have been? Talk it over with your husband and describe to him what he is not here to see...I am sure he wants to say goodbye to Goose very much but I am also sure he loves this baby very much and might be able to help you decide whether the struggling may sound to him to be too much to wait that long. Or, take it day by day with the idea the decision may have to be before 14 days..it all depends on Goose and what his heart can take. And..what you see happening.

Look into your baby's eyes and see if you feel he is saying anything. Then look into your heart and let your love for this sweetheart help you find the answer you are looking for.

There is no harm in talking to the vet again, asking an opinion...asking what is meant by
"wait until it is time". What to look for so there is no suffering...whatever he can tell you.

Talk to your husband and tell him how you are feeling and what you are thinking....

Hugs, Victoria.....believe me I have been there and there is nothing harder than going through this time and I, too, have gone through it by myself. It is never any easier.

Just hug Goose and give him a bunch of kisses and let him feel your love surrounding him as you know his love is surrounding you always.

I hope I have helped you. The words are too hard at a time like this but if anything helps..I am glad I was here to respond.

Judy

Thank you Judy
I talked to my husband just a min ago he said much the same as you. I have such compassion for our dear animal it hurts me so. Goose just loves life if he could talk I think he would say " Don't be sad mommy I don't see the future like you do. I'm good just getting my dinner and waiting for my daddy." Sorry I'm crying.........................................

I forget sometimes dogs live in the moment. We as humans think about all that could happen (with much emotion). Dogs just live there daily life. Thats why when they get cancer they just wag there tail. He is holding on so I quess that says alot! He ate dinner fine and has not had any problems going to the bathroom. He just breaths hard and faints then get back up and wags his tail. I guess I will just wait and hope he makes it till his daddy comes home. I put the phone up to his ear and he listens to his daddy talk and wags his tail. I guess this is good enough for today.

I'm glad you just talked to your husband. And I think your last post about living in the moment is so true. Good to hear he is eating fine and is okay as far as the bathroom...no hardship there.
That was so sweet about putting the phone up so his daddy could talk to him.

Yes, they do wag those tails...it is just second nature to them. No matter what.

I think your last sentence sums it up beautifully.....

you said: I guess this is good enough for today.


Hugs to you all again....special hug for that tail-wagging boy. Special kisses too!

Judy

Well this wonderful time with Goose is drawing to a close. He is still hanging on I think he is wating for his daddy to return on the 11th. This dog loves life. We can learn alot from him. What ever good there is thats his focus. Pray that Goose will last till then. He is not in pain but I'm sure he get dizzy. I don't know if this can be discribed as suffering?? I am starting to prepare my heart for whats comming. I so glad his later part of his life lasted so long. I very sorry that my J-Dog went so fast. I need your prayer to get through this!!!!

Your have our prayers, Victoria, and so does Goose.

I do hope he can be there when your husband comes home..9 more days now.

If only dizziness....we know how we feel when we get dizzy..it is not painful...but for humans it is scary cause we wonder why...thank goodness our babies don't examine things like we human do.

Give Goose lots of hugs and kisses (which I am sure you are doing anyway). You will never forget these moments. They will never be duplicated and that is what will make them priceless to remember.

Hugs and prayers, Victoria...for you and especially for that brave baby, Goose.

Thanks Judy
This will be number two in our wonderful trio. We knew these days would come. I feel very empty right now and I know its going to get worst. I love my guys so much and really hate having to go through this. But would never trade the time I had with them. My husband is able to come a day sooner. I can't wait till he get here. I find it very hard being alone at this time.

Victoria...when you said: But would never trade the time I had with them. My husband is able to come a day sooner. I can't wait till he get here. I find it very hard being alone at this time.


I just felt every word of your reply down deep. Never trading the time.....those thoughts are what will get us through things when these babies are with us but we know the time is getting shorter no matter what we do. I am so glad to hear your husband
can come a day sooner...Everything helps at a time like this. I am also glad you and he and Goose will be together. You are doing wonderfully for being alone right now. I know it is a hard thing to do but I think Goose is getting through this waiting right now..because of you. I think your love and hugs and kisses..all that caring that he feels just gives him strength each day.
It is times like this that I wish I could give you a big, tight hug that lets you know I am crying right now with you and I
understand all the feelings going through you....they are no stranger to me.

Please keep posting...at least that passes some of the time...and let us know how Goose is doing and the date your
husband will arrive so when my calendar shows that date...I will know you and Goose are not alone anymore.

When posting...how is Dinky doing? I'm glad Dinky is there too. I just find another furbaby around does help somewhat.

Take care and keep writing, Victoria...and don't forget to give Goose a special hug and kiss from here in cyberspace

Goose is slipping away right in front of my eyes. He is very weak and breaths very hard. I know he is waiting for his daddy to come back . When I take him out side he sniffs the air, and when he hears a truck like his daddys he perks up. The other night I was watching him sleep and he was wagging his tail. He even dreams good things. my husband will be here early moring thursday. He will have to come in and lay on the floor with Goose. I hope he can take the excitement. My husband will spend a few days just loving on Goose and then it will be time to let him go. Putting a dog to sleep is so hard. Its like killing them. I look back and know it was right with my dear Jay. And I know it will be right with Goose too. It's time to do it now but I know if he had one last wish it would be to see his daddy. Pray for us and I will let you know how it went......

You are all in my prayers..and I am glad your husband will be there soon.

I know it feels as though we are killing them....we have to substitute the thinking that...we are giving them peace.
No more suffering of any kind. At this point in their lives, unfortunately, that is the only way we can give them peace.
Even we humans usually say...when the time comes we have no quality of life, we wish we would just fall asleep
and not wake up. It sounds so peaceful. Life is just not that kind so we have to help these babies when it is time.

Extra hugs for Goose, please, Victoria...and extra kisses on top of his muzzle..just behind the nose..that was always
my favorite place with my dogs.

I am so very sorry it is his time...we want them with us forever...happy and healthy...what a nice dream.
But the time given with them is also a blessing...at least we have that to remember. Then they slip out of
their bodies and into our hearts..to stay there forever.

Ok my husband has come and now just left this morning. Goose is still with us! He started to recover two days before my husband got here. I know this is going to be hard on me because I will have to deal with it alone. But we could not just put him down for convience sake. This heart problem seems to come and go. The worst lasted two weeks thats why I thought he would not make it till my husband came. I will tell you this emotional rollercoster ride is very hard. You start to grieve and than you rejoice. I'm very glad I have Goose here with me cuz my husband just drove away and that alone is very hard. He will not be gone as long this next time. But that does not help the now. I know this will end one day. Still need lots of prayers!!!!!!!!

I'm really glad you still have Goose. Each day is a blessing when we can look into those eyes and see the love there and hug them so they feel our love back.

I'm glad your husband got to be home to spend time with Goose.

I know it is hard if you ever have to do things by yourself. I was there years ago myself. But we have to do what we have to do.

Now it is one day at a time and if Goose is feeling better...that's good for the two of you.

Each day I pray and wish for you another day, then another, then another.

Give Goose a hug and a kiss.

Judy

Well the time is drawing near. Goose woke up this morning and can hardly walk. Something has gone wrong in his spine. This is hours later and he is still having trouble walking. He fell down while going pee and peed all over himself. I cleaned him off and helped him get into the house. I called my husband and he does not really want to deal with the lost of his dog. I understand all to well. He says just wait. Goose has been known to recover. But I really don't think he is not going to this time.
Spent the morning looking for just the right place to bury him(Under a nice shady pine tree). I started to dig the hole its going to take me sometime to do it. Boy this is hard. As I begin to grieve, my loss comes on me very heavy. Two in one year. A few things have come to my mind while digging. I have never buried a dog before. I have never had dogs live this long before. And I have never grived this hard before. Almost unbearable! These have been truly the best dogs I have ever had. Another thing that has come to mine is something I have not talked about. The day I put J-dog to sleep I could not take his body. In hind sight I wish I would of. Now that I'm going to have Goose buried here i truly want Jay too. But its to late. I am going to bury his favorite toy in remembrence of him. Silly I know but I don't care it helps me.

Another troubling things is this thread.... I would start another one for Goose only but its like I can't let go of this one because of J-dog. These are my raw emotions as true as they can be. I have not put them down on paper but they are here. When I begin to miss my J-dog I come here and read my own post. I have gotten lots of insight into my own heart.

I just want to thank everyone who has gone with me on this journey. It really has helped. I know it not over and really just getting to start over again. These emotion are so strong. I guess the more you love the more you hurt. Will let you know how it goes. Blessings

Oh Victoria ~ may God be with you during this diffucult time. I can't imagine you going through this alone, with the burial, etc. I lost my fur baby, Zoe, due to a tragic accident of her getting away from me and getting hit by a vehicle. She had only been with me for two years, however, I loved her more than anything or anyone in my life. The pain of losing her has changed who I am today. I believe your comment of the more you love the more you hurt. Our precious pets give us so much joy and unconditional love in our lives...we can't imagine life without them.
I am praying for you and Goose.
Much love and support,
Deanna

Hi there

Just wanted to say how much I agree with what you are saying, I have felt very similar emotions to you. How right you are in what you say about those who have not known the love that our pets have given us, and we to them. I can tell people are thinking, its been over two weeks, how come you're not over it yet. Sadly very few people understand, even so called animal lovers. I guess we should be proud to have loved this much, that is why it hurts this much.

This site is really all that has gotten me through, I also find myself distancing myself from those people who don't understand, which is sadly a lot of people. Most people I know in fact.

But thankfully, not here. Thank God for this place, where we can talk, cry, shout and even just be quiet, knowing everyone here understands.

meens ***

Dear Victoria

I just read your thread from the beginning and I just wanted to say how my heart is aching for you. I am so sorry you are going through this double dose of pain and hurting. I was going to reply to your earlier posts as I am in a similar position in that I had to have my 15 year old chihuahua Marilyn put to sleep on 4 August, I have two other dogs (her sister and a rescue terrier cross). The pain is unbearable and yes the dogs remaining do grieve and find the balance in the house is upset.

But now I read about Goose and I can't imagine the pain you are going through. I look at Marilyn's sister Chi Chi and maybe its my imagination but I think she is not so good since her sister died, she has that look in her eyes that Marilyn had near the end ... I pray its not but then I try and think, OK maybe her sister needs her more than me...

Don't beat yourself up about leaving J-dog at the vet. His spirit is alive and with you always, in time you will see that (I know right now the pain is all consuming).

It hurts, God does it hurt, but think of J-dog and Goose, if Goose does not recover, playing together at Rainbow Bridge. They will have each other and they will be happy and healthy again, and they will always love you both.

I am so, so, sorry for this pain you are going through. It, sadly, is the price we pay for loving so much. I am sobbing reading your posts, you write so beautifully and from the heart. I wish I could find the words to help, but I just wanted to say I am thinking of you.

meens xx

Oh Victoria.............I feel so sad for you and what you are having to face without your hubby. God bless you and Goose for hanging onto each other for so long. It's been touch and go for you both for quite awhile now.

It's not silly at all to bury J-Dog's favorite toy with Goose. Whatever you can do that helps bring you just a little peace is wonderful. This is the most difficult and heartbreaking time for you. I can't even imagine having to deal with two losses of ones so loved in a year.

Please know I am with you and have been all along since you first arrived here at LS and will continue to be. My heart and prayers are with you.

May God comfort your aching heart and bring you the strength you need to cope with all you must confront.

Hugs of love from my heart to yours,
Beth

I'm so sorry about Goose. It is hard to do it alone. But I know, you have to do what is best for Goose.

I never could take the bodies of my special ones. My last memory was always they were alive and I guess since I knew their spirit was gone from the physical diseased body.....I don't regret having them cremated and not following it further. I guess by seeing them last alive, when I would come home and be alone...it was easier for a moment to think they were in the next room and still okay. And when I knew they were not in the next room...somehow I could imagine their spirit was in my home.

Digging a grave for Goose and all by yourself.....I am not strong enough to do that. It is hard enough losing them, and harder still to be alone when it happens, even when it is at the vet hospital or the vet comes to the home. I don't know how you are able to do it.

Even without J-dog's body being there too..remember their spirits will be together and with you forever. It is their physical bodies that failed them...never their spirit. Burying a favorite toy is a beautiful gesture. Anything that helps you through all this is more than okay. Nothing is silly.
You are going through one of the most devastating periods of your life, you are dealing with it alone and taking care of it alone and ANYTHING that makes you feel better is definitely the thing to do.

My last shepherd had spinal cord problems and it was heartbreaking. That was when I first asked how to know when to let them go..cause she was not in pain..and the answer from the vet was when there is no more quality of life for them to enjoy. That was so hard to do but I knew she would not get better...there was no cure. Medication had worked for awhile but then it stopped working.

I can understand about continuing this thread for J-dog and for Goose...sounds like a way to always keep them together. What you are going through right now by yourself is so heartbreaking I can't type anymore through my tears. Give Goose a hug and a kiss and tell him J-dog will show him the way.


Judy