Hello MannaPaws

I'm sorry to hear you're having health issues and hope you get to feeling better soon. Thank you so much for your kind words and support. I did indeed have a couple of people on here giving me a hard time saying I don't deserve fur kids and such. One even advocated having me shot To the best of my knowledge they were both banned.

Even if having to help my baby girl transition to the angles turns out to be the right thing to do, it's going to be the hardest thing I ever do. But I wasn't there for Tom and I want to be there for her; to honor his memory in a way in addition to my love for her. Right now I'm feeling detached probably due the shock of the reality of the situation. I am keeping some hope, but am also steeling myself for what may be inevitable. Your right in that she's probably uncomfortable and therefore doesn't want to cuddle anymore. But she finds other ways of being near me.

I appreciate you checking out my other posts and the kind words you have to say about them. I started feeding just a few cats I'd notice around the dumpsters buying maybe one 3.5 LB bag of food per week. I'm up to 10-13 LBS per week with the new additions that frequent the back of the property. I do this early in the mornings now rather than the evenings to avoid the "haters". I decided I'd rather do that and know where every penny of my dollars are going than give to ASPCA and wonder.

I can't know what the future holds for sure for my baby girl, but my gut is telling me another story. I know Dr. Mills will be straight with me about her prognosis. I'm going to ask his advice both as a vet and a pet parent. He had a Siamese girl some time back that he brought to meet me and Tom so we'd know we weren't alone battling diabetes.

Thank you again for stopping by to offer support and encouragement as well as your thoughts and prayers. It is appreciated. Peace and Blessings.

TTT

Hi, Tracy, thank you so much for sharing with us how your precious princess Theresa, and you and little Tang, are doing. My friend, your precious girl knows that you love her - - she is so blessed to have you for her Forever Dad, and because she knows you love her, she has given to you 9 years of many treasured memories to hold in your heart for all eternity. The love bond you and your precious Theresa share is eternal - - nothing in heaven or on earth can ever change this - - not even the painful adjustment to physical separation.

I can imagine that now as Saturday is more closely approaching that a part of you is dreading the anticipation of what may happen when you take your precious girl to see Dr. Mills. Of course you don't want your precious girl suffering in any way for any amount of time, yet I know from my own personal experiences with my beloved companions that your heart would leap with joy if Dr. Mills was able to help restore your precious girl's physical health. Whatever happens on Saturday, my friend, please know we are here for you.

I hope today is treating your precious Theresa, and you and little Tang, kindly, and that each of you will have a very peaceful, blissful, cozy evening blessed with your beloved Sir Thomas' sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know your precious girl, and you and little Tang, are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how your precious Theresa is doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Hi moon_beam.

Thank you for your continuing words of comfort and support. She did something surprising last night. Well, a few things. After my shower and her only taking a few more sips of milk, she literally attacked the food and water bowls - back and forth. The hope was somewhat short lived upon closer inspection of the food bowl though. It was full of whole, uneaten, slobbery kibble; had to toss it, clean the bowl and put out new food. Perhaps sensing what a bust that was, she returned to picking them out of the bowl to the floor this morning.

She also avoided her
'go to" spot after I put down her comfy towel there. Whether she doesn't like the towel, or wants to avoid giving me "signs" I cannot say. She also bounded on to the bed last night while I was watching TV when I said "I could sure use some kitties in here" She didn't stay there, but did sleep on the floor next to the bed the reset of the night.

Right now I guess I'm on the fence as it were until we see Dr. Mills on Saturday. But off hand, I'd say she's picking up on my thoughts and feelings (I never vocalize them around her) and is perhaps not yet ready to let let go. Who knows, perhaps it's come from her "communing" with Angel Tom in her "go to" place.

I appreciate your thoughts and prayers and will update new developments. Blessings.

TTT

Hello Tom’s Dad,

Thank you for your good wishes regarding my health issues and feeling better soon. Yesterday and today were good days, and I’m giving thanks for that and enjoying this beautiful day.

I am terribly sorry that you had been given a hard time on this forum by a couple of people. I am relatively new here, so didn’t see anything of that nature. I’m surmising that these individuals either emailed you personally, or that whatever they said on the forum was deleted. Either way, that is terrible to be the recipient of those harsh words, as well as someone advocating your being shot. That is something that is quite illegal, and these types of perpetrators can be turned over to authorities if they persist. I just want you to know that I feel very sorry that you were the recipient of these types of attacks.

I can sympathize with what you said, “Even if having to help my baby girl transition to the angles turns out to be the right thing to do, it's going to be the hardest thing I ever do.” Yes, it is one of the hardest things to do, and it’s something that one struggles with constantly, especially if our babies start to recover (even slightly) and try eating again. I did read in another post that you shared that Theresa attempted to dig into her kibbles, but wasn’t able to follow through. It seems as though she still has an appetite, but is finding it very difficult to eat/chew her food, which I’m guessing is due to the tumor and the pain associated with it.

I also can sympathize with your feelings of detachment, which as you say is probably due to feeling the shock of the reality of the situation. It’s a way of preparing yourself for whatever may happen and is also a defense mechanism, which is normal. I felt that way, myself, with all of my precious companions, but more so with my beautiful boy who lived a while longer than expected. He would go downhill, and then he would pull out and be able to eat and function on some level. There were those good days with him, even though I did need to clean him, and also prepare food in a way that was easier for him to chew and digest. Just as you have been doing with your sweet Theresa. I know she loves you for this, and she tries to show you as best as she can, given the circumstances. Once again, you are a wonderful, caring, loving and conscientious father to Theresa, as well as to Tang, and as well as you were to your beloved Tom.

Your veterinarian, Dr. Mills, sounds like a wonderful man, as when he brought in his Siamese girl to meet you and your beloved Tom, so you’d know you weren’t alone in battling diabetes. I’m certain come Saturday, Dr. Mills will be able to give you good advice and answer any questions or concerns you present to him. He sounds like a very caring and trustworthy human being and professional.

I just think it’s wonderful that you’re feeding all the waifs within your community. It looks like they are all getting some very good nutrition and a lot of food, especially with the increase in the size of the bags per week you’ve been giving them. What a shame there are people there who are “haters” of cats who would see you out there in the evenings, making it where you can only come out in the mornings now. I don’t understand why some people don’t like cats. But the good thing is that these sweet waifs have you as their Savior, and that negates whatever others may feel about them. They are so blessed to have you providing for them. I was reading, somewhere, in this forum where there is another individual – I think the name is “Love Mickey” or something like that - who is also feeding some kitty waifs. This person is also a wonderful, caring and loving individuals, and thank God there are people like you and this other person who give so unconditionally.

Thank you for updating us all again, and please do so whenever you can. You are going through a lot right now, but Theresa is so blessed to have you ministering to her, and I know she is grateful to you and loves you so much. You, Theresa and Tang will continue to be in my thoughts and prayers.

You signed some of your posts with “TTT”. I was wondering what those initials mean. Thanks.

Blessings & warm regards,
MannaPaws

Hello MannaPaws.

Thank you for your kind words and support. The situation with those other people started because I posted something on FB the first one didn't like which started a "flame war" of sorts. She brought that here to this forum - as in public posts not PMs. I had to block her in my personal email too though. The other one just took up for her saying "what they do to people like me in Texas" Having lived there 8 years, I knew exactly what he meant. The mods did too I guess. But they're gone now, so who cares.

Theresa moves around a lot now. By that I mean she picks different spots to be perfectly still instead of by the furnace closet. I'm not really sure what to make of that. She's always been a bit moody and sometimes its hard to know what she's trying to tell me. This morning her spot was in her carrier. Last time she did that was right before another vet appointment I'd made because she wasn't feeling well.

Yes, Dr Mills is a good vet and all around human being. I've been going to him at Banfield for 11 years. He performed quite a miracle removing the tumor from Tang's ear that 3 years later shows no signs of returning (knock wood) I guess that may be my allotment of miracle surgeries though I know he will give me good advice as you say.

I don't know what the problem is with the other tenants and cats either. But since statistically most of them are recreational pharmacutical (sp?) users, who knows. I don't even use bowls anymore since they were throwing them away.

The TTT simply is for our first names Tracy, Theresa and Tang. Thank you again for your thoughts and prayers. Peace and Blessings.

Hello Tom’s Dad,

Thank you for sharing an update on your precious Theresa and Tang. I’ve been keeping you and your babies (TTT) in my thoughts and prayers. You mentioned that Theresa moves around a lot now, picking different spots to be perfectly still, instead of by the furnace closet. I’m not really sure what to make of that either, except that she may just be trying to get comfortable as best as she can. In addition her equilibrium is also off, since she’s dealing with the tumor and pain in her mouth, and possibly other issues within her body. It’s like when one has a pain in the back, or other areas of the body, and needs to adjust in different positions, in order to find some kind of relief.

My companions also displayed these kinds of things, as they went through various illnesses, sitting in one spot, then in another spot. Like with Theresa, 2 of them were also quite moody, so that can also influence where they sit and how they respond to their loved ones at any given moment. This is just “my” take on this, and it could be something totally different with Theresa. But one thing I do know for certain is that she is still quite engaged with her environment, since she keeps moving to different areas, as well as trying to eat. Also, she is engaging with you, albeit in different ways and on different levels.

It looks like you have some shady characters in your neighborhood, so I will pray for protection for you and the waifs from anyone who may want to do harm. I’m not saying they will try to harm you or the kitties, but you mentioned they are recreational pharmaceutical users. I know you’re already careful, but I just want to say to continue to be as careful as possible, since these types of people can be very unpredictable. I know a friend who is dealing with a similar situation where she lives, and she and the other tenants try to avoid these people as much as possible. Anyway, you are doing a wonderful job of providing for these waifs, and also keeping a low profile. I can imagine they really look forward to seeing you in the evenings!

Your Dr. Mills is truly a proficient Vet and a caring individual, and I know you trust him completely, especially since you’ve been going to him for 11 years. What an amazing thing he did with Tang, as when he removed the tumor from his ear 3 years ago, and it hasn’t come back. Thank you for sharing this incident. As far as miracles, my personal experience is that there is no limit as to what can happen. With my own life and with my precious companions, there were times I thought it was “the end”, and then revival occurred. Of course, the time did come when their lives came to an end, as it does with all living creatures. The point is that I witnessed miracles that I wasn’t prepared for, and didn’t think would happen, and it was during those times that I went through transformations that changed my heart, mind and soul for the better.

I know, too, that God is in control and that He has given me hope, strength and the ability to endure, regardless of the outcome. This is only “my” take, and what I believe, and I would never tell anyone to believe the way I do. But I felt I should share my own personal experience, letting you know that even though there are painful and terrible things that happen in one’s life, there is also hope in the midst of it all. And in the midst of this all, miracles continue to happen. I will continue to pray the same for you, Theresa and for Tang. May God watch over you all in the midst of all of these unknowns, and give you hope, strength and the ability to endure.

I thank you again for sharing how your precious, sweet Theresa has been doing. Even when there are times that I cannot visit this forum, please know that I am thinking of you all and praying for you frequently.

Blessings,
MannaPaws

Thank you for your kind words and support. Your explanation of why my baby girl is moving around is as good as any. I can see that she fidgets trying to get comfortable when she picks a new spot.

There are "shady" people indeed where I live. But it's always been that way. From things I have noticed over the 13 years I have lived there, I'm pretty sure the property owner controls all of that "traffic" 'nuff said. But I am careful which is why I go out to feed the waifs early in the mornings before I head off to my bus stop to work. It's been working out for the most part.

I called Banfield today ahead of my reminder call and told the lady to tell Dr. Mills to prepare for the worst. She changed my appointment type to allow him to spend more time with us. I've been thinking about it for a while, but when I said the words out loud it hit me kind of hard.

Don't worry about forcing your views on me me. If my mother couldn't, nobody can (whole other sordid story) I may not be religious, but I talk to God plenty. Or His/my proxy Angel Tom - I know he watches over us and has kept me out of harm's way many times.

I thank you for checking in on us and appreciate your thoughts an prayers. I'll keep updates posted. As the saying goes, we are not promised tomorrow. Peace and Blessings.

TTT

Hi, Tracy, thank you so much for sharing with us how your precious princess Theresa, and you and little Tang, are doing. I totally agree with MannaPaws observation from what you share with us that your precious Theresa is trying to find ways to get comfortable in where and how she settles down. I also totally agree with MannaPaws when she shares with you that our precious companions can overcome great adversities to show us that it isn't their "time" yet to transition from this earthly realm - - because none of us have the gift of foreknowledge as to how and when the transition from this earthly realm will happen. But whatever happens, my friend, I wish to reassure you again that we are here for you.

I'm glad you called Banfield to have your precious girl's appointment extended so that he can thoroughly examine her and answer your questions. Please let us know how things go whenever possible.

I hope today is treating your precious Theresa, and you and little Tang, kindly, and that each of you will have a very peaceful, blissful, cozy evening blessed with your beloved Sir Thomas' sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know your precious girl, and you and little Tang, are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how your precious Theresa is doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Hello moon_beam.

Thank you for checking in on us and your kind words of support. I'm a big believer in anything is possible and there is no doubt my baby girl is trying to overcome this adversity. Whether or not her body will be in sync with that is impossible to say. Tomorrow will tell. I appreciate you all being supportive of what ever decision I may have to make. I know that you know firsthand the difficulty of the situation. I will keep you posted. Thanks again for your thoughts and prayers. Peace and Blessings.

TTT

Hello Tom’s Dad,

Just dropping in once more to let you know that thoughts and prayers will be going out to you & Theresa tomorrow, when you see Dr. Mills at Banfield. I’m so glad to know that your appointment type was changed, so you will have more time with him. I know you will make the best decision, whatever it may be. I may not be able to go onto the forum tomorrow, so that’s why I’m writing this today.

I am not religious myself, per se. I do not embrace any denomination, nor am I a part of a religious organization. I don’t have anything against churches and religious establishments, however, and if it helps people in their spiritual walk, then that is good.

I was an atheist, some years back, and only believed in the 5 tangible senses of the natural world, and not in the spiritual world in any way, means or form. But then things changed for me personally. Like you, I also talk to God “plenty”, and I’ve also had some heated discussions with Him, to put it mildly. I love and am so touched by what you said about your proxy Angel Tom, and him watching over you all, and keeping you out of harms way.

I surmise you’ve dealt with some family dynamics of sorts, based on what you said about the relationship with your mother being another “sordid” story. I, too, have dealt with all kinds of family dynamics and issues, so can relate with the “sordid” things as well – unfortunately.

I will end this here by saying to just keep doing what you’ve been doing with Theresa, and don’t ever doubt that you’ve done the best, and been the best father to your little girl. Once again, whatever you decide or do not decide tomorrow, will be the right choice. Hold on and stay strong, Tom’s Dad, and know that there are good people in this forum who are behind you all the way. They care about you, and care about your precious Theresa and Tang.

Blessings,
MannaPaws

Hello MannaPaws.

Thank you for your kindness and support. Ironically, my issues with atheists are pretty much the same as the "bible thumpers" and that's the attitude "We no for absolute sure" Um, no they don't. I think even the bible says God is unknowable - or something like that.

Saying the issues with my mother is a sordid affair is something of an understatement. She is quite possibly the most unadulterated evil I have ever encountered. I'll leave it at that. One can only be wished dead so many times before one no longer cares.

Just about an hour and 20 minutes before my cab to the vet is due. I don't know what to expect. I appreciate the thoughts and prayers though.

Blessings.

TTT