Hi, Jae, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. I am sooooo glad you had the dream visit with your beloved Bruno. This is one of the many ways our beloved companions let us know their sweet Living Spirit is still with us - - which is why we remember their visits with us.

I am soooo smiling at the picture of your beloved Bruno. He has such a sweet expressive face which shows that he knows he is loved - - eternally.

I hope today is treating you kindly, Jae, and that you will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Bruno's and Hani's sweet Living Spirits to comfort you. Please know you and Larry are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Today marks one month since that painful day we said goodbye to our beautiful Bruno.
The first two weeks were extremely hard and it got better gradually thanks to the support from all of you kind people here and my family back in Seoul, and at some moments I did feel close to normal to my utter surprise. Of course there still are very tough moments when I just have to let the tears flow and most of my moments awake at home, the constant underlying awareness that we're here without Bruno like he did for 13 years and a month, and it just feels so unfair and unreal. When those waves come, I know this will be a long journey and that realization gives me mixed emotions. It's scary and oddly comforting at the same time.
Every time I pass by Bruno's memorial, I look at all those pictures, some of which make me smile and others make me sob. And I speak to him. Bruno, I love you and I miss you. You're in my heart forever, and we'll meet again in heaven!

Hi, Jae, thank you so much for sharing with us your and your beloved Bruno's one month angel-versary. Indeed, the angel-versaries are yet another reminder that our beloved companion is no longer physically with us, and we can find our hearts breaking anew. The good news is that eventually the deep sorrow eases and the moments when we feel a mist come to our eyes are not as intense as during the deep grief. Please know your beloved Bruno enjoys hearing you tell him how much you love him now as much as he enjoyed hearing it during his earthly journey - - for the sound of your voice is still a sweet sound to him lifting up to him in heaven's perfect garden.

I hope today is treating you kindly, Jae, and that you will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Bruno's and Hani's sweet Living Spirits to comfort you. Please know you and Larry are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

The warm air makes me dream of what was, and of what would be if you were here. I know that this dream is but an inaptitude to live the present. I allow myself to drift on this current without looking too far or too deep. I await the moment when I will find my strength again. It will come. —ANNE PHILIPE

It's been a month and a half since we let Bruno go. The last three weeks I've been busy trying to complete the book project. I think it did help, the fact I had something to do even off work. Now I'm back here with some free time and a wondering mind where I am on this grieving journey after losing our precious baby Bruno. I'm sure I will be thinking about him and be sad more frequently than I have the past three weeks, but I'm not going to be scared. I will let the thoughts come, stay a while, and go. If it makes me tearful, that's okay. I will say his name and tell him "thank you"and "I love you".

Hi, Jae, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. Please let me try to reassure you that what you are feeling is very normal sorrow when you share with us: "Now I'm back here with some free time and a wondering mind where I am on this grieving journey after losing our precious baby Bruno. I'm sure I will be thinking about him and be sad more frequently than I have the past three weeks, but I'm not going to be scared. I will let the thoughts come, stay a while, and go. If it makes me tearful, that's okay. I will say his name and tell him "thank you"and "I love you"." It is very healthy to validate your feelings - - and to have them validated by others as well. Although your beloved Bruno is no longer physically with you, there is no doubt in my mind that his sweet Living Spirit continues to share your earthly journey as he always has and always will - - and will find a way to let you know he is with you.

I hope today is treating you kindly, Jae, and that you will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Bruno's and Hani's sweet Living Spirits to comfort you. Please know you and Larry are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

On my way to the bus stop yesterday morning I saw a white dog walking alone on the sidewalk. Looked like he'd just peed in the grass area and now was saying hi to the dogs inside a fenced wall of a house there. I approached him and believing somehow he was lost I picked him up. He showed no resistance. He was maybe about 25% larger than Bruno. I called Larry to ask him to come out in the car. While on the phone I saw a woman about 50 feet away coming out of a little apartment building and calling out that he was her dog. I gave the dog to her and she said thanks. I don't understand how people leave their dog out alone like that. Like I did anybody could pick him up and leave either with good intentions or bad. For about a couple of minutes I truly was thinking... Is this the sign from Bruno that we should adopt another loving dog?

Hi, Jae, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing, and this very touching experience with the woman's dog. There is no doubt in my mind that your beloved Bruno wants you and Larry to be happy - - in whatever form or fashion that happens. Only you and Larry can decide if / when your hearts are ready to embrace another precious companion into your hearts and home. But rest assured that - - if / when this time happens - - your beloved Bruno is guiding your paths letting you know that whatever you decide he is always with you.

I hope today is treating you kindly, Jae, and that you will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Bruno's and Hani's sweet Living Spirits to comfort you. Please know you and Larry are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Hi, it's been 5 days since my Chihuahua has passed and aside from the dreadful grieving I'm also feeling blessed to have found this site. After reading many posts
it does indeed help reduce the pain. The thing I struggle most with are the "sneak attacks" when 1 moment your fine and the next moment your crying, your throat hurts, your heart hurts and the pain is unbearable.
For now though, this forum has helped immensely. Thank-you, Corie

Oscarbeansmom, I'm so sorry for the loss of your Chihuahua. I know how hard it is for you right now. The first two weeks is just extremely hard and basically you're wondering if it'll get better at all. It's been about a month and a half for me, and looking back, I feel like I'm one of those who grieve actively. I came to this forum and wrote, in some ways trying to immortalize the memories of my life with Bruno, and received heartfelt comforting messages from fellow animal lovers who absolutely know what it's like to lose our precious animal babies. I also read a lot of books on pet loss and grieving in general. I talked quite a bit with my family members in Korea and of course with Larry. As moonbeam said, this is a longterm grieving journey and especially during the first couple of weeks in my case it was a one moment at a time thing. Please take all the comfort you need on this forum and also take care of yourself.

It's raining now. I believe it's the first rain since Bruno went to heaven. I remember thinking it would be nice if it rains a little, no maybe a lot. I thought it would somehow wash away some of the most painful lingering hurtful feelings. Here in Los Angeles, rainy days are somewhat rare, and every time I took him out in the patio on a rainy day, Bruno would lift his head and sniff at the air that smelled different than usual. I feel like he's looking down at this part of the earth where it's raining from heaven. I miss him so much. The absence of that tiny little presence in this house is enormous. Bruno, I love you and I wish you were here with me right now.

Hi, Jae, thank you so much for sharing with us how you and Larry are doing. Indeed, I can soooooo relate to how you're feeling when you share with us "The absence of that tiny little presence in this house is enormous." The adjustment to the physical absence of our beloved companions is painful - - both physically and emotionally, and does not happen quickly. The GOOD NEWS is that your beloved Bruno's sweet Living Spirit continues to be with you - - for he is always and forever a part of your heart and memories - - he is always and forever a heartbeat close to you.

I hope today is treating you and Larry kindly, and that you will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Hani's and Bruno's sweet Living Spirits to comfort you. Please know you and Larry are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Moon_beam, thank you for your response!
The rain has stopped. I hear it was a good more than an inch rain which is extremely rare around this time of the year here in Southern California.
Bruno's portrait in oil painting has arrived. It is beautiful. Feels even more than a photo. It might be the size of it, but I'm not sure even an enlarged photo would have the same feel. Originally the photo was taken with the white kitchen tile in the background and the portrait people suggested they would replace the background with green grass especially because Bruno's so white. It looks great and the eyes in the portrait is just perfect. It does feel like another milestone in this grieving journey. This was one of several projects I had to put myself through while the pain and sorrow was too much to bear. Now I am doing better and daily life is somewhat normal with of course the undercurrent of deep sadness and hollow emptiness. I like having this portrait of him on the wall, around his memorial area. It feels so comforting. Yet another piece of evidence that Bruno will always be with us no matter what. I love you Bruno and I miss you so much!

Hi, Jae, thank you so much for sharing with us how you and Larry are doing, and for sharing the absolutely wonderful portrait of your beloved Bruno. Most importantly, I am so very pleased YOU are happy with it - - as I know your beloved Bruno is as well!!!

I hope today is treating you and Larry kindly, and that you will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Hani's and Bruno's sweet Living Spirits to comfort you. Please know you and Larry are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

It's been three months since Bruno went to heaven. Life has more or less returned to normal. Work is busy and I finished one more book. And we adopted a little puppy who's now about three months old. We named him Leo, and Leo's a handful. Today I thought about Bruno a lot. Kind of rearranged his memorial table. Looks nicer. It still feels unreal that he's not here physically and he won't come back. I look at his photos a lot, especially of his baby photos. They're easier. I can't watch his videos yet. Nor those photos of his last few days here on earth. The only thing I can tell myself is I love him and I thank him and he'll always be in my heart. Love you baby Bruno. Always!

Hi, Jae, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. And thank you for sharing with us your and Larry's wonderful news that you have a new precious companion in your lives - - Leo. Some people find caring for a new companion can be very comforting while they are adjusting to the physical loss of a beloved companion. I hope you, Larry, and your precious Leo will have a long, happy, healthy earthly journey together. Perhaps sometime you will share a picture of your precious Leo with us - - but only when / if you want to.

Some people fear that embracing a new companion will diminish the love they have with a beloved companion who is no longer physically with them. Please permit me take this moment to reassure you that your precious Leo will find his own special place in your heart and life - - in no way will the love you give to and share with your precious Leo ever diminish the eternal love you and your beloved Bruno share.

I hope today, and every day, is treating you, Larry, and your precious Leo kindly, and that you will have peaceful evenings blessed with your beloved Hani's and Bruno's sweet Living Spirits to comfort you. Please know you, Larry, and your precious Leo are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam