Hi all
Thank you everyone for your support, your honesty and objectivity. I lost Suzie this week and have been devistated, I feel responsible and I am sick with greif. Your support has been a lifesaver.
April

I lost my cat, Soshi about a week and a half ago, and have found this site to be such a comfort. Everyone is so kind and supportive. I have found comfort in offering some words of support to others, too.
I got Soshi from a friend when she was 11. I'd known her for several years already, though.
She had feline diabetes, which we managed for her remaining 5 years.
She was a special girl, very talkative and social.
She loved to sit in your lap and purr.
She died of lymphoma, which came as a surprise. She was only ill for a few days, thank goodness. She was a very strong cat.
I'm going to try to get a photo to attach b/c she was a beautiful abyssinian, and I'd like to attach a face to her name.
She was named Soshi because she was such a social butterfly.
Anyway, I am a teacher, have been married for a year and a half, and just started working on my masters degree this year. Really, the last thing I've cared about lately is studying (don't tell my professors that, though!).
It does get better.
Thanks for the chance to share my thoughts and feelings.
I also like the smilies.
Brandy

Hi everyone!

I accidentaly found this site while doing a search for LifeGems and I'm thinking that I'm really glad I did! This might be exactaly what I need.

I'm 26 years old, I live in southern Minnesota. I have a lot of family in Ohio, so it's pretty neat for me to see people from there! They're all in Barberton and Akron.

Anyhow, I'm a really gut-spilling sort of chick, so...yeah. Be prepared, lol!

Well I've lost several pets in the last few years, but this last one is honestly starting to kill me. My beautiful black lab, Nadir, was only six (people) years old when he died on December third, 2005. He was murdered and I'm quickly discovering that coping is impossible.

In the begining of 2005, I had to leave my job because my daughter (not even one year old at the time) had heart problems and we wanted one of us to stay with her all the time. Because I left my job, we had to move into an apartment that doesn't let us have dogs, so my Nadir lived with my mom. My mom is a huge animal lover and she said several times that Nadir was her best friend and was the only thing that helped her get through work.

Well I'd been in Ohio for my dad's funeral. The morning after I got back, my mom called me super early, I was half asleep, and she was saying something about an autposy and for the longest time, I thought she was talking about my dad. It took FOREVER before I finally asked her what she was talking about and who was getting an autopsy and when she said my dog's name, I actually got so sick that I threw up.

She said that he'd been acting a little sick the night before and that she'd made an early AM appointment with the vet. She let him outside before the appointment and he didn't come when she called him. When she went out on the deck, he was laying on the stairs trying so hard to climb up to her.

So my mom and her boyfriend carried him into the house and wrapped him in his favorite blanket and held him and 20 minutes later, he died.

Nothing in my life has ever hurt that badly.

The autopsy showed rat poison. Either in one enormous dose or in little bits over the course of about 5 weeks, they weren't able to tell for sure.

My mom lives in a "good" neighborhood and her yard is totally fenced-in and Nadir never left the property without one of us with him, so someone was poisoning him over her fence!

It's been just over three months and not one day has gone by without me sobbing for at least an hour.

I went through an awful bit (I'm not proud of this) of racism over it because we know who did it (yeah...try PROVING it though...that's another story altogether) and the family who killed him is Hispanic, so I was a total witch for awhile. I'm over that, though, I totally forgot that my tattoo guy is from Mexico and he helped talk me out of my rages.

I've been struggling with more emotional issues than I have the time to explain. My marriage, or what's left of it, is completely shattered, it's all but over and I think a lot of that has to do with my mourning.

Well...that's my story. If anyone actually read all of this, lol, I'm impressed.

Maureen, I read all of your post.

Hello. I'm brand new here and to be honest I really wish I had no reason to find this site at all. Just two days ago I lost the furry love of my life, my baby Pushkin Boots, aka Baby Smoosh, or Smooshie.

I've had pets in the past and in general I love animals very much, but I had never bonded with a pet the way I had with Pushkin. He really was my best friend.
Losing him feels worse than some human deaths I've had to deal with. I have tremendous feelings of guilt because of that, and because he died in an accident I had dreaded. We live on the 12th floor and have a balcony and Pushkin as well as our other kitty Catface refused to obey the no balcony rule no matter what we did. If the balcony door or window was open even a crack they would find a way to open it more and get on there. I had premonitions of something bad happening so if ever they were out there I was there with them studying every move to make sure they didn't so much as look up let alone jump up. Well one moment of not paying attention has brought a tragic end to the biggest love affair of my life other than my husband. I am stunned and I can't figure out how I can possibly ever get over this. It seems so cruel that god would take my little baby, and so cruel that he would end Pushie's life, when Pushkin was the kindest soul I'd ever come across.

I'm 28 and I live in Vancouver Canada. I've been married for a little over six months. My husband is the most wonderful human being who is also completely devastated at the loss of our best friend and baby. He's being really great, but I feel like I don't want to show all of my grief in front of him because I know how painful it is for him. I know he grieves for Pushkin and grieves for my pain. So I'm so thankful to have found this site. It makes me feel so much better to know that contrary to what I've heard from some people (althought not very many at all) over the last few days, our pets are not "just an animal" and we can't "just get over" their death.

It honestly doesn't feel possible that I will ever be able to be happy again. Intellectually I know I will deal with this in time. Right now it just feels like the worst thing in the world. Nothing is right, nothing is important except missing my baby boy. Reading the stories of other people on this board is helping me in this terrible time so I just wanted to thank you for creating this place.

I hope that I'm able to comfort others here as well as get some skills on how to cope with this, with the loss of my very best friend.

Here he is in his full silly and lovely glory, our dearest baby Smooshie whom I will always, always miss and never ever forget:

Your awful tragedy made me cry, hon, I'm so sorry for such a dramatic loss! I feel sick over things like this. Your baby looked SO happy! What a complete angel.

Thank you so much! He really was an absolute gem and a perfect little boy. I don't think I'll ever be able to find another little one like him.

What a horrible thing to go through this is. I'm glad we can all at least talk here about our little ones. I've been crying off an on reading other people's posts, but even though they're sad it's helpful to know we're all going through somewhat similar experiences. One of the worst things about all of this to me has been how immediately separate from everyone else around me it made me feel. Other people walk around happy, and I'm shrouded in sadness. Here at least there is no one getting mad at me for not getting on yet and it doesn't seem like any of us have to hide what we are thinking and feeling. It helps.

I lost my best friend a week ago today...right around this time I signed the paper to end her dear life. She was so weak, I don't think she made it past the tranquilizer injection. It was harder to sign this than my divorce, because I knew beyond the shadow of a doubt, the cat loved me to the end (not so for the spouse, who didn't even love me at the beginning)...she was my faithful friend & companion for 20 years. I am so grateful for this place to share what I am going through.

People look at you funny. They either Understand...or they don't. I'm 47, I have other pets, a job, all that good stuff. I look normal, I act normal, I am normal I guess. It was just a cat, right?

Wrong. This was The Queen of Hearts. My heart, anyway.

It is safe here to say an animal was my best friend. These are hard days. I am putting one foot in front of the other. Thank you so much dear MD, for opening a door for so many wounded souls to support each other. Your Avatar is really amazing also...it looks alive...love the eyes...thank you...

Hi everyone. My name is Ken and I am an 'old' newbie. I've actually been around for a year now but through the rough months after Daddy Cat died I never introduced myself. I am a high school Biology/Anatomy teacher in St. Augustine, Florida. I'm married and we have no children except for our 8 indoor cats, 1 indoor bunny, and a ##atiel. The cats and bunny are all rescues and we volunteer each weekend with a local cat rescue and adoption group. It's been a wonderful way to give back some of the love we have received from our furkids.

My wife Karen is the city chemist. We've been in St. Augustine for 26 years, transplanted from Chattanooga, Tennessee where we grew up and met in college.

We both are members of an internet group called PetBunny, 500 people who have indoor bunnies. Our bun Sir Francis was recently featured on the Ellen Degeneres show in a photo with his bonded buddy Tommy Cat in a segment called "Unlikely Couples".

Thanks for providing this excellent website. It is the best one around for those who need a place to heal.

Hello, my name is Emily, I'm 21 and two weeks ago I lost my cavy Hazel. He was a little sweetiepie, I'll miss him alot. Almost a year ago, I lost my beautiful cat Tucson Arizona to FIV complications. Tucson was the love of my life and I still love him and grieve for him. Last Summer we had to put another kitty down .... She was going down hill fast and her quality of life wasn't too good. So that was two cats in one summer. I guess no matter how long they're gone it does feel good to cry sometimes. I have a lot of betta fish too, and I love each one of them. When one dies I give them a little eulogy and bury them under "The Betta Tree" in my yard.

Anyway, onto happier thoughts! Now I have a bouncing ball of fluff named Quill. He's a mackrel tabby/white 1.5y/o Siberian cat rescue and the *new* love of my life. I adopted him six months ago, he's a sweet, sweet little guy. I love animals. I seriously don't think I could live without at least one furry/scaly/feathery kid in my life. They bring so much joy and happiness and beauty to everyone.

Hope to see you around.

Hi!!!! My name is Marisol. I am new to the site and found it seeking support after the lost of my baby Titan my handsome 10 yr old dsh cat. Everything was so confusing he was diagnosed with diabetes and hepatic lipidosis a couple of months ago, after so many trips to the vet and treatment my baby was loosing the battle. My vet recomended euth him, he was not getting better and started with kidney failure. I couldn't believed my baby is dying. That night I took him home and was at his side telling him how much I love him. Next morning I fed him tuna and a piece of sausage (his favorite!!) then I took him to the vets office where I requested euth. That day was the worst of my life.... before he crossed the rainbow bridge he looked at me like he didn't want go..... I am dealing with the pain , the emptyness, and the sadness not to have my bay titanito with me anymore.. Thank you for being here

To New Members:

It is wonderful when you come here to introduce yourself. But to get answers from the many members here who are always listening and want to reply to you..

please start a topic just for your baby in whatever Section of the Forum seems to apply....unfortunately the most active section is Death and Dying but that is where responses are (in the Special Sections). If a pet is sick..there is a special Section or if he is missing...of course, that Section is where to go.

I see new members post here and then come back...I assume to see if there are any replies.
We all get discouraged if we see no replies...

This section here is very good just to introduce yourself if you wish to..but if you need a conversation about your special one...please start a topic for your baby so it can be replied to.

Hope this helps explains the best way to start a conversation all your own and get replies.

Hugs to all who post. We are always listening. We understand your pain and want to help.

hi everyone. my name is gail. i live near cleveland, ohio. i'm 50, so i've had alot of losses in my life by now. anyways... i've lost 3 schnauzers and yesterday, we put our beloved beagle, miss lucy, to sleep (cancer/gallbladder disease).

i've been a grief facilitator for many years (for people losses), and i've found that grief is grief. doesn't matter if it's for a person, or a pet. it matters how CLOSE we are to the person or pet that determines our grief. for many, that would be their beloved pet.

anyways... i plan to pop in now and then and see if i can help anyone, or maybe share some of my own thoughts. i know talking helps alot, and also writing about our emotions.

i'm truly sorry for everyone's loss. i have loved each and every one of my dogs TONS, so i know how it is to lose one.

god bless.

Hi there,
I'm Katy and I'm 21 years old.
I live in a small, rural city in the north west of England. I'm currently working at a store and going to college doing an access course to university where I'm hoping to study Psychology in Education.
I'm an addicted photographer and do the occasional shoot. I'm always carrying a camera with me.

I've always been an animal lover. Actually, I love most living things - humans the least. I'll try to save any living thing if I can and I am one of those people who get really annoyed if someone kills a bug.

I got my first cat as a gift when my father left when I was 4 years old so I put a lot of my emotion into caring for her and making sure she was happy. I had her for 17 years until I came home from my party on my 21st birthday and found her dead on the drive. She had an aggressive form of cancer that had spread pretty quickly but the vet said she actually died of a heart attack. Heartbroken.
We've had a lot of cats in between that we've lost but I realised it was just a way of life. Their deaths didn't hit me as hard as hers though.

Now we have Miss Tilly... the strangest cat I've ever come across. She's still very young but twice the size of any tom cat. She never stops meowing. She responds to anything you say to her and she has to climb into any hole she finds.


I'm extremely grateful for this site and will continue to be. Thank you.

I responded to another post of yours & forgot to mention that our "Miss Tilli" is very strange too, maybe it's the name, hehehe!!!!
glad to hear you gr8 news.
elaine

Hello my name is Paul, and on Wednesday Nov 18th we lost our 5 yr. old Mastiff to complications to surgery. He was diagnosed with Cancer in his forearm and after some long thinking and talking to the vets we got his leg amputated and planned to do chemotherapy. The vet said we probably bought him anywhere to 9 -14 + months. He came home 2 days after his surgery and we noticed he was leaking from his stitches. We took him back to see the vet who performed the amputation. He had a staph infection and had 2 surgeries to to try and clean the infection up. He went thru 1 blood transfusion and all sorts of antibiotics but his red blood cells levels just couldnt come back. He had some up and down days, and when we thought he would be coming home another problem arose, whether the infection came back or his blood pressure or protein levels dropped. We visited him on this past Wednesday, exactly 2 weeks he was admitted in the hospital for the staph infection and he was so weak he could not get up and walk around and he developed another infection and the decision was made to have him laid to rest.
He was way too young and we were told after the amputation he was such a young strong dog he would get thru the fight against cancer but this wa snot the case. It was a very tough decision to get the amputation and now we second guess if it was the right decision now since we lost him.

Hi Paul, I'm so sorry you lost your furkid...it's so hard...especially with yours being so young. I too had to put my aging lab down just a couple weeks ago...and I wonder about my decision at times. There are lots of people here who can help you with your grief, we all know exactly what you're going through. I'm just not sure anyone comes much to this section of the forum. You should post maybe on the "death and dying support section", that's where most of the responses are. Please do post as I'm not as good as comforting as some of the others here...my pain is still too fresh.

Hugs to you,
Brutus' Mom

Hi everyone,

My name is Kathy and I have just discovered this Forum. I have been lying around for the the past five days trying to think of a way to console myself. So, I said to myself, "self, get up and go over to that computer and find a support group for help. So here I am.

Let me introduce myself:
I am a 56 yr old disabeled Gulf War Veteran (female). I left the military in 1998; had a somewhat empty marriage at the time; needed something to fill the void. Two years later was when I decided to go to my local walmart to past some time. I noticed someone selling puppies (cute little babies called "Poms").
4 boys and one girl. The little girl was laying back in the corner "chillin'", while her brothers ran a muck She looked up at me very sassy-like (hence the name "Sassy") with her little paws crossed as if to say, "please, take me away from those loud brothers of mine!" So I did, and the rest is...

Sassy left her wonderfully spoiled life five days ago, suddenly and unexspectedly from what i believe may have been a new medication prescription. She was my baby still at 9 yrs old, 4 months before her 10th birthday. It was just she and I in our home, since I was divorced three years ago. I am hurting so bad because i miss her so. She was my shadow. When I moved, she moved. No one could touch me unless she approved. Anyway, I will be posting more about my beloved "Sass". I am just happy to know, just by reading some of the posts, that it is okay to grieve for my baby girl. She was my comfort, my joy, and lived each day to walk with her mom, listen to her mom talk baby-talk, and sing the "Barney" theme song to her ("I LOVE YOU<YOU LOVE ME<THAT"S THE WAY IT"S SUPPOSE TO BE!!"") She loved it and that was the last thing she heard from me before she took her last breath.

Anyway, this is getting extremely difficult to continue. However, I will be posting more soon. Looking forward to it !

[font="Comic Sans MS"][/font][/color] [color="#FF00FF"]In Loving memory of my true best friend, companion and confidant
April 2000-December 11, 2009

Hello everyone.
I'm Nicola 34 from Ashford. Kent.
I love cats and had to have my 11 year old cat Lucy putto sleep on 11th jan due to cancer.
We now have a 14 week old kitten sophie.

Hi everyone. My name is Laura, 45 years old, who just lost her female shepherd mix, Zena, to liver cancer this past Saturday, the 20th of October. She was 11 years old. In July, I had to put down my other dog Zeus, an Alaskan Malamute/Belgian Shepherd mix who was 12 years old, because he had been getting seizures that were becoming days apart. The cause of them were unknown, but we took blood tests, so we know it wasn’t anything systemic. This has been a hard season, and especially a hard week, because Zena was my little baby girl and I’ve been feeling torn apart from her passing. Zeus was a sweetheart too, and it was so hard to see him suffer, but I don’t regret all of the effort I put forth in taking care of the both of them during their last days. You can see them both in my avatar, although that picture was taken years ago when Zena was still a puppy. It’s been helpful to read other people’s posts and to know that what I’m going through is perfectly normal. My time is limited, but I hope to stick around and to post more and to get to know everyone.

Hello Everyone!!!

My name is Mayra, and I just joined this website tonight so I'm still confuse on how this website works and how to post my original post tonight. But hopefully someone is able to help me in pointing me in the right direction so I'm able to post things in the right place. I'm 33 years old and I currently live in Joliet Illinois with my husband and my 4 beautiful children. The reason that I enjoy this website is because I recently lost my calico baby kitten name princess. She was only (6months old) when I lost her. She was hit by a car right in front of my house I'm still hurt and so devastated right now that nothing seems to help me heal. I just need my baby back I can't seem to be without her. I decided to find any support online to see if it will help me with my grief process because apparently none of my family understands what I'm going through and all they say is get over it she was just a cat buy another one. I'm actually hurting alone with no one to hear me or talk to I feel so sad right now. I just that I'm able to tell my whole story of what happen to my princess. I just feel the need to let it out our I will go crazy. I hope I'm able to meet new people here and be in touch.

Hello, Everyone.

I have looked in my area for pet loss support groups, but have found none that are easy to get to. I'm so glad I've found this site! My name is Mary, and I'm 51 years old. I live in the Denver Metro area of Colorado and love it here! I'm 10 years into my second marriage and together we have 4 kids. My daughters, ages 18 and 22…the 18 year old was Halle's favorite of all the kids. My husbands kids, ages 18 and 15. I've had animal companions for my entire life, and when each one has crossed the bridge, I feel a definite sense of loss. This last one, however, has left me wondering what in the world to do with myself. I feel like my husband is being patient, but that he doesn't quite understand. We adopted Halle in 2006 and the rescue told us they thought she was about 6 years old then. I think they may have misjudged by a couple of years, because she's always had the grey muzzle and the fact that she could and would jump the fence to go after other dogs made me think she was more spry than anyone thought. It was a rough start, to be sure, but she and I formed a very unusual bond. Like many other dogs, she picked up on emotions very easily, but unlike some dogs, it really bothered her to see me or my daughter upset or sad. For the last 18+ months of her life, I gave her insulin shots every 12 hours and started to take her every other week to an animal acupuncturist for arthritis. In December she tore her ACL, but we decided it would be more dangerous to do the surgery at her age and current health problems. Almost without fail, in any type of weather she and I would have our morning walk. It was our time and as she slowed, it became less exercise for me and more for her. I indulged her incessant need to sniff at everything. After all, I knew our time together was getting shorter and shorter. It's the least I could do to let her have this joy, no matter how crazy it made me.

This past June, she really started to slow down. She no longer got up when I came home or when my husband came home from his business trips, or when her favorite kid came home. We went to one of her many dog beds to say hello and love on her. She still made it up the stairs to sleep with us though, where she also had a couple of dog beds. Spoiled! On June 21, we were at my neighbor's house visiting her best buddy, Lucy. She had really perked up and had so much fun! That night my daughter came home from a week long trip with her father. Normally Halle would have been beside herself with excitement, but the spark was gone from her eyes and she wouldn't get up. I knew. I KNEW something was not right. I didn't want to see it, and made all kinds of excuses in my head. I was NOT ready to say good bye. That night, around 12:30 AM she woke me up by crying, a very different cry. I jumped out of bed and turned on the light, and she was looking at me almost pleading with me to help her. She could not get up. I hoisted all 80 pounds of her to her feet, and it was like her back legs were Jell-O, and she fell back down. I called our emergency vet, and we gathered the 3 kids who still live at home to be with her. I then called my oldest daughter at her apartment to let her know we were taking Halle and this might be time to say good bye. She met us there. We think, though we aren't sure still, that she may have suffered a stroke. We made the decision to let her go. It was NOT the way I wanted it to be. I had it planned where it would be quiet, in our home with her favorite toy (the only stuffed animal she never tore apart) next to her and her laying on her blankie. But here we were in the middle of the night in a strange place with a vet whom I'd never met. She gave us all the time we needed for good byes, brought a jar of peanut butter for her to snack on along with all sorts of oreo cookies. Haha! She was so happy! But the time came and we knew we could not put it off. My sweet Halle girl passed surrounded by a family that loved her as unconditionally as she loved us, with her head in my daughter's lap. I was the last one to leave. I laid next to her and told her I was sorry, that I hoped I did right by her. And then I left. It's been 3 months and I miss her every minute of every day. I function, I work, I take care of the house. But every time I come home I still look for her. I had surgery in July and on the way home from the hospital I thought briefly, "It will be nice to snuggle with Halle." I take walks still every day - more quickly of course!. I feel her with me every time.

Like I said, each animal will hold a piece of my heart, but Halle took something else. I wish it would stop hurting so badly. Thank you so much for letting me write this.
xoxo MaryClick to view attachment

Hi, everyone

It's been a while since someone posted in this forum, so I'll have a go.

My name is Hisae (hee-sah-eh), and I am 55 years old living in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. I work at an international school here as a high school math teacher (I teach AP calculus and International Baccalaureate courses). I am happily divorced (my cats were always scared of my ex-husband). I am nationality, and my two human children are half-American (daughter 29 years old and son 22 years old), and they live in the States (daughter in Alaska and son in Arizona).

Like everyone, I am so glad that I found this site. My sweet Tama passed away March 31, and I am devastated and heart-broken. Thank you, thank you, thank you for being here for me and for all those who are grieving for their beloved companions.

Hi,
I am so grateful for this site and have felt "less alone" in grieving the loss of my Chihuahua Oscar. My heart is broken and I long for the time his memories bring me smiles instead of tears.
It was such an honor and blessing to be a part of Oscar's life. I look forward to my heart ache subsiding but in the mean time I can see some of the healing begins here. Thank-you for being here.
Corie