Hi DannysMom

Her eyes are so big and gorgeous! She looked as if she kept herself very clean as her fur looks beautiful. She was obviously having a bad dream that night. But i am sure that fact that she was on the bed with you when she woke up she was happy as pie knowing everything was ok. The fact that she is the only one that has moaned in her sleep is a unique thing that she had which is a great memory. She had character that made her have obviously very exciting dreams!

xxForeverxx

Hi, DannysMom, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing, and for sharing this WONDERFUL picture of your beloved Tina with us. I have never had a Calico to share my life with, but they are very stunning cats. It is obvious how much joy she brought to you during her earthly journey, and how much joy the memories you have bring you.

Thank you so much for honoring us by sharing your beloved Tina with us, DannysMom. I hope today is treating you and your precious Mindy and Shelley kindly, and that each of you will have a very peaceful, blissful, and cozy evening. I thank you for the blessing of your friendship, DannysMom, and of your precious Mindy and Shelley. Please know you and your precious girls are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I always look forward to sharing your news and your treasured memories of your beloved Tina and Danny.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Kel, xxForeverxx, and moon_beam, thank you all so much for your kind words and your support. Tina was quite a unique cat, so fearless and independent, and so loving. I can't wait to put up the Christmas wreaths I bought for Tina and Dannys' graves. I think they will look so nice there. I saw a lot of decorations today, and quite a few new graves there.

Tina's grave needs some grass seed as the grass is gone from half of her grave, but otherwise it looks okay. I was glad to be able to go there today as it was such a nice, sunny day. The calico cats are very special. They are very devoted to their human and will come to greet them at the door and snuggle with them at night. Tina had such a zest for life. She loved exploring and going on adventures outside (under my supervision). She liked meeting small children and was curious about the neighbors. She would get so mad sometimes when I picked her up to go back inside and once inside she would chase Danny to take out her anger on him. She certainly had 'calitude', but she was very loving with me and always enjoyed being petted. I loved her and she loved me. I always told her that we belong together and she enjoyed hearing that. On the way home I was talking to myself and before I could catch myself I said:"I should let Tina and Danny go out on the balcony." I have to make a conscious effort to say "Mindy and Shelley" instead of "Tina and Danny".

This is the first Thanksgiving without my Tina. I still remember her jumping in the big box that holds the Christmas tree and trying to get into all the boxes the hold the ornaments and decorations. She was always so active, trying to "help" me. We had so much fun together, and today it is so quiet as I remember her and Danny. The holidays were always a special time for us, and Tina is surely missed. I get sad when I look at the "cat chair" that now sits empty. Neither Mindy nor Shelley sleep in it, nor do they sleep on Danny's special blanket that is draped over the couch.

Tina always tried to get a small piece of pumpkin pie. She had a sweet tooth, loved yoghurt, ice cream and cake. From time to time I would give her a very tiny piece to enjoy. She was a wonderful and sweet companion and she is surely missed today.

Hi, DannysMom, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing, and your treasured memories of your beloved Tina. I know how much you miss her sweet precious physical presence - - and the holidays can be exceptionally challenging.

I can relate at how you are still needing a conscious effort to say your precious Mindy's and Shelley's names instead of your beloved Danny's and Tina's. There are times even now when I will call Noah by Eli's name - - which to me at this point in time simply means that Eli's sweet Living Spirit is close by.

Thank you so much for honoring us by sharing your beloved Tina with us, DannysMom. I hope today is treating you and your precious Mindy and Shelley kindly, and that each of you will have a very peaceful, blissful, and cozy evening. I thank you for the blessing of your friendship, DannysMom, and of your precious Mindy and Shelley. Please know you and your precious girls are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I always look forward to sharing your news and your treasured memories of your beloved Tina and Danny.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Hi DannysMom

I hope you got through thanksgiving ok......remembering all the times with Tina and Danny and making new memories with Mindy and Shelley. Although it is hard to see the chair and blanket empty I think the other two stay away out of respect. They know how much you loved and still love Danny and Tina and they do not want to upset you by going in their spots.

Pumpkin pie? I find that a fascinating one that a cat would like! I am glad her grave was ok. When do you reckon you can lay some more grass seed?

xxForeverxx

moon_beam and xxForeverxx, thank you so much for your support and kinds words. It is truly appreciated.

moon_beam, you are so right that sometimes I still have to make a conscious effort to say "Mindy and Shelley" instead of "Tina and Danny", not when I talk to them, but when I talk to myself and say:"Tina and Danny will be waiting for me to get home." It just slips out sometimes.

The pet cemetery where Tina and Danny are buried are having an open house tomorrow and I may go there to see what's going on.

xxForeverxx, I did make it through the Thanksgiving holiday okay, but it was hard. I was sad inside while trying to be happy on the outside as I spent part of the day with friends. I think you're right that Mindy and Shelley are staying away from Tina and Danny's spots out of respect. Shelley doesn't even want her paws to touch the blanket on Tina's cat chair.

Tina was truly a unique cat. She had a streak of stubbornness and independence in her, but I loved her so for who she was. She meant the world to me, and I will always treasure her memory. When I look at her pictures it is sometimes so hard for me to accept that she is no longer here, and sometimes I think she should just appear at any moment and be with me again. I remember how she would always be good for a surprise. She was also very territorial and would fight with Danny over who got to sleep under the Christmas tree. In the morning she would sit on the floor next to me while I was drying my hair and getting dressed. She just loved being close to me and observing what I was doing.

Hi, DannysMom, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing, and your treasured memories of your beloved Tina and Danny. It is a very difficult journey transitioning our lives without the sweet physical presence of our companions. The good news is that their sweet Living Spirits are with us wherever we go and whatever we do. They no longer have to wait for us to come home to them - - their sweet Living Spirits are sharing our lives in "real time".

I hope you were able to go to the open house where your beloved Tina and Danny are resting, and that you were able to meet and talk with other guardians whose beloved companions are now with the angels to share comfort with one another.

Thank you always for honoring us by sharing your beloved Tina with us, DannysMom. I hope today is treating you and your precious Mindy and Shelley kindly, and that each of you will have a very peaceful, blissful, and cozy evening. I thank you for the blessing of your friendship, DannysMom, and of your precious Mindy and Shelley. Please know you and your precious girls are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I always look forward to sharing your news and your treasured memories of your beloved Tina and Danny.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Hi DannysMom

Did you go to the openhouse? If so how was it?

Who won over getting to sit under the christmas tree? I bet Tina did as I have found with my two girls that girl powered definitely wins over Fudge!

I look forward to hearing more about Tina a very special cat indeed.

xxForeverxx

moon_beam and xxForeverxx, thank you for your comments. It was good for me going to the open house and talking with other people who have lost their animal companions and meeting people who love their little fur kids just as much as I do. It was very comforting for me to be among kindred spirits and to share about Tina and Danny. I still cry when I talk about them. It's just so hard not to cry.

xxForeverxx, Tina sometimes chased Danny away, but other times when she was there and he would walk up she got up and snapped at him and walked off in disgust. She was very territorial about her special places and just didn't tolerate Danny being next to her. That always grieved me as he was such a sweet kitty boy and tried his best to get along with her. Tina had "attitude" and was stubborn and temperamental at times, but she was also very loving and attached to me. She was outgoing and enjoyed meeting people, most of all really young children. She once met a young boy halfway as he was running up to her giggling and saying:"kittycat!" She let him pet her gently on the head and he seemed so happy. I could always trust her instincts about people. If she liked someone it meant I could trust that person. She could sense when something was not quite right with a person or when someone didn't like me or was trying to deceive me in some way. She was very protective of me.

Here she is just getting up and walking away from the tree.
Click to view attachment

Merry Christmas, Tina! This is my first Christmas without you and I miss you so very much. I remember telling you that if you and Danny were good we would open presents on Christmas Eve (it's a European thing). You and Danny were so good about leaving the packaged presents alone. And you had fun with the wrapping paper. My Christmases were always better because you were there. You gave me comfort last Christmas Day when I came home without Danny and he was at the emergency hospital. You kept me company and snuggled with me. Thank you for always having been the strong one and for comforting me, my little friend. If I could just have one wish this Christmas it would be to have you and Danny back just for tonight and to watch you have fun with the wrapping paper again. I miss you so much, my Tina girl.

Click to view attachment

Hi, DannysMom, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing, and your beautiful love letter to your beloved Tina. I'm smiling at her picture as she's walking under the tree - - the expression on her face is truly reflects that she knows she is "queenie" of the tree. And the pciture of her and Danny together playing with the paper is precious. I know how much your heart and arms ache to have your beloved Tina and Danny to hold physically hold again - - and how sometimes the memories we do have to treasure can feel so empty because of the physical separation. Still I hope somehow in some way you will feel your beloved Tina's sweet Living Spirit with you to comfort you through these days.

I hope today is treating you and your precious Mindy and Shelley kindly, my friend, and that you and your precious girls will have a very peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Tina's and Danny's sweet Living Spirits to comfort you. Please know you and your precious girls are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I look forward to knowing how you're doing and to sharing your treasured memories of your beloved Tina and Danny.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Hi DannysMom

What a precious photo of your Tina and Danny opening the present. They look very happy and it is a great photo for an album. Tina looks like she is waiting very patiently for Danny to start opening it.

It is lovely how she kept you company last christmas day. Like you say shows how loving and attached to she was to you. And even though her and Danny did not always get along it shows just how much she understood what was happening and was trying to be there for you. An incredible cat who will always be remembered.

I know how hard this must be for you DannysMom......wanting to just hold them both one last time. I hope your other two helped bring you some comfort this christmas and the photos that show how much they were loved and loved you too.

xxForeverxx

moon_beam and xxForeverxx, thank you as always for your continued support and your kind words. It makes all the difference to me to know that I can come here to LS and post and be among kindred spirits.

For some reason I am especially missing Tina today. I looked at the big 8X10 of her where she is sitting upright and she has such a soulful and loving expression on her face. It was one of the last pictures of her. It was taken last February and it still shows where her leg had been partly shaved during her stay in the hospital with pneumonia back in January. When I looked at her face in the picture I felt the tears coming on and I got this ache in my heart to just hold her again. She has such a sweet and tender expression on her face, and very seldom have I seen her look like that. She almost looks like a kindly old grandmother, smiling down on her "child".

Click to view attachment

Hi, DannysMom, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing, and this wonderful picture of your beloved Tina. She is a beautiful little girl, and you are so blessed to be her Forever Mom. It is very natural that your heart aches to hold her and look into her beautiful eyes once again. One day when it is your appropriate time you will be reunited with her in eternal joy. For now, you are blessed to have the pictures of her earthly journey - - the ones you can look at with your eyes, and every single memory that are permanently imprinted on your heart.

I hope today is treating you and your precious Mindy and Shelley kindly, my friend, and that you and your precious girls will have a very peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Tina's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you and your precious girls are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I look forward to knowing how you're doing and to sharing your treasured memories of your beloved Tina.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Hi DannysMom

A beautiful picture once again of your Tina. I can see why it would bring tears to your eyes being one of he last ones you took. She looked happy enough for you to take it of her though. There is something in her eyes which shows just how much love she had for you. What a gorgeous coat of fur.

Did she ever let you brush it?

She looks so cuddly I would want to stroke her all the time! and I bet you did.

xxForeverxx

moon_beam and xxForeverxx, thank you for your continued support and your kinds words. It seems now that the Christmas season is over, my grief has "switched" to Tina. I remember how she was still with me this time last year, and how her presence gave me strength and helped me cope.

xxForeverxx, Tina enjoyed being brushed! I had this special rubber brush for her that just took off her fur real well and for her it was like a little massage in addition to the brushing. Her fur was real fine and downy which caused problems with hairballs, because if you bunched up her shed fur it would be real "prickly", with fur sticking out and it must have bothered her intestines. Danny's fur was thicker and bunched up nicely without being prickly.

I did enjoy petting Tina very much and she loved it. She would meow quite excitedly when I came up to her to pet her. She wasn't real big on cuddling or being held, but she enjoyed sitting on my lap and being petted. I did put away the Christmas tree and decorations today, and I thought about how Tina would be trying to jump into the big tree box. She loved boxes and would always jump inside. In her younger years she was quite the jumper and so energetic. She loved exploring and going on adventures, and she enjoyed being with me and watching me whatever I was doing. She left paw prints all over my heart.

Hi, DannysMom, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing, and your treasured memories of your beloved Tina. My heart smiles every time I share your memories with you and is warmed by the eternal love you and your beloved Tina share. I know how sorrowful your memories can feel, though, for it doesn't matter how much time passes as we continue with our earthly journey - - we will always want to hold our beloved companions one more time.

I hope today is treating you and your precious Mindy and Shelley kindly, my friend, and that you and your precious girls will have a very peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Tina's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you and your precious girls are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I look forward to knowing how you're doing and to sharing your treasured memories of your beloved Tina.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Hi DannysMom

I feel for you as your first one year angel-versary passes you still have another one to get through. We are all here for you whenever you need though. Some cats are not lap cats and they do not like being held or anything so it was nice that even though she was not keen on being picked up she still loved to sit on your lap. She looks really cuddly though so I bet you had to hold back temptation to just give her a big squeeze sometimes!

It is great that she let you brush her. I suppose it is like a massage isn't it? You just have to have the right brush for them to like it which by the sounds of it the rubber one was perfect

xxForeverxx

moon_beam and xxForeverxx, thank you for your support and your kind words. Thanks for sharing my Tina with me. Today marks 9 months since she passed on. I had to hold tears back at work today as she was on my mind. I didn't even want to get out of bed today. I just felt so numb and empty and sad. It seems much longer than 9 months. I was looking at some videos of Tina yesterday, and when I watched her my heart was glad and sad at the same time. Glad for seeing her "in action" again, but sad that it's just on the screen. I can't forget what a beautiful face she had. I wished you could have seen her in real life. Tina had such wonderful green eyes and such a cute little face. I loved looking at her. Even now when I think of her I have to fight back the tears. She had this unique habit of sitting with me when I watched a movie and put up my feet. She would sit on my left leg, lengthwise, with her head perched on my knee and her hind quarters on my thigh, and her claws digging into my knee, but I didn't mind. She would sit like this and watch movies with me, and she wanted me to pet her. Whenever I stopped stroking her soft fur she would turn around and look at me as if to say:"Don't stop!" She so loved being with me and would follow me around and watch what I was doing. As a young kitten she would often stick one of her paws underneath the bathroom door and just wiggle her paw and I would try to touch it as she quickly pulled back. This was a game we played. She loved looking out the window early in the morning, watching the wild bunnies who came out to feed on the grass and the birds.

Tina didn't want me to leave for work in the morning when she was real young. She would sit by the door and sometimes bite my hand when I petted her good-bye. She developed this habit of giving "love bites". I would often tell her:"Mom and Tina, we belong together." And she would blink her approval. She loved hearing me say that and never got tired of hearing it. She was so attached to me and she hated being separated from me. We were together for over 14 years and she saw me through some very stressful times. Whatever else was going on I could count on Tina being there. She was a constant in my life, my comfort and my support. My heart broke when she was diagnosed with cancer last March, and I cried so much on the way home with Tina in the carrier on the back seat. Was it not enough that I had lost Danny? Why Tina too? I thought it so unfair, but that's what life is. It seemed like last year nothing was off limits and I was tested way beyond my breaking point, not really knowing where my life was going, and sometimes not even caring. I was very depressed. Losing Danny and Tina broke my heart, and it's still broken. I cherish having Mindy and Shelley in my life, I really do. But adjusting to life without Danny and Tina has been tough.

Sweet Tina, you are missed today. You loved me like no human being has ever loved me. You brightened my life and gave me comfort and joy for so many years. You were my sweetest and most loyal friend. I will always miss you until we meet again one day.

Oh DannysMom.
Sending good thoughts your way. I cried quite a bit this week too about Rusty. Missing him incredibly much this week. The 8th month anniversary of his death just passed. Funny how the wave of sadness just hits you and then you realize the date and know why.
How much love you have for Tina. She knows. Take good care my friend.

Hi, DannysMom, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing, and your treasured memories of your beloved Tina. I can so understand how broken hearted you are feeling, for I went through a similar experience with my beloved Oslo and Abbygayle - - who joined the angels within 4 months of each other. Losing the sweet physical presence of one beloved companion is heartbreaking - - losing two, or more, companions within a short period of time intensifies, and prolongs, the grief journey.

During our deep grief we measure our days, weeks, months by how long it has been since our beloved companions transitioned home to the angels. Eventually, hopefully, we begin to focus our thoughts on the days, weeks, months, years we shared their earthly journey and find joy, and comfort, in the many treasured memories we share with our beloved companions - - for although they are no longer physically present with us, they continue to share our earthly journey and all the memories we collect along the way.

I hope today is treating you and your precious Mindy and Shelley kindly, my friend, and that you and your precious girls will have a very peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Tina's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you and your precious girls are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I look forward to knowing how you're doing and to sharing your treasured memories of your beloved Tina, and Danny.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Sher_mark, thank you for your good thoughts and for understanding. The tears still come easy when I look at her pictures or remember our times together and the things she did. Every time I go in the bathroom and look at the faucet dripping it reminds me of Tina standing on the bathtub and drinking water from the dripping faucet. That's why I try NOT to think of Tina, because the memories hurt. All the happy times we had together are gone, and it is sometimes hard for me to adjust to life without Tina. Take good care of yourself, sher_mark. Rusty knows how much you loved him too.

moon_beam, thank you for your post. I'm afraid I'm not quite "there" yet in terms of focusing my thoughts on the times I've shared with Tina. I try hard NOT to think of those times, because when I do it makes me sad and it hurts and I don't want to feel the pain. I've never been a good griever and I tend to just want to move on and not feel the pain. I'm sorry I can't just "hurry up" and "get over it". I try not to post too often here about Tina as I don't want anyone to think I post too much or make a big deal out of things. Everyone grieves differently, and I'm sorry if I don't meet the "standards". I find little comfort in the memories of the times I've shared with Tina. When I think of her and our times together it tends to overwhelm me with grief. I don't have time for the pain. I need to go to work every day and function. I guess no matter what I do somebody thinks it's "wrong" somehow.

Hi, DannysMom, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. I don't think anyone is really "good" at grieving, for everyone has their own individual way of coping with the deep sorrow. I hope you know there are no judgments made here - - no one can tell you when the deep sorrow in your heart will ease, for only YOU can travel your grief journey. All we can do here is to try to offer you support, encouragement, comfort, and hope as you travel your grief adjustment journey in your own way and in your own time. Sharing our common experiences together helps us to know we are not alone. So please know we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us.

I hope today is treating you and your precious Mindy and Shelley kindly, my friend, and that you and your precious girls will have a very peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Tina's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you and your precious girls are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I look forward to knowing how you're doing and to sharing your treasured memories of your beloved Tina, and Danny.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

I've had a rough weekend. Was feeling so stressed and sad. Sunday I was able to let the grief out and to cry. It always does hurt so much to cry and to feel the pain, but afterwards I do feel a bit better although exhausted. It's so hard to believe sometimes that Tina has been gone over 9 months now. When I see her empty "cat chair" it makes me sad. I left it as it was, with the cushion on the chair and the toys that I used to put there beside her so she could grab a toy to nap with. I miss my sweet, headstrong, determined Tina. We spent over 14 years together and the bond we had was so strong. She was always there to comfort me, always so in tune with my moods and so concerned about me. She was my beloved friend. It hurts so much that she isn't with me. Life is not the same without her. I often find myself wishing she was here, giving me strength and helping me cope. I adored her feisty personality and she made me smile. Tina would always sit patiently by her food bowl, knowing that I would feed her in just a minute. She loved pawing away at the humidifier's water tank, and she made me laugh. She was fascinated by it and now Mindy does the same thing and that makes me smile. Tina was so unique.


Next to the "cat chair" this was her second favorite place, sitting with me.
Click to view attachment

Hi, DannysMom, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing, and your cherished memories of your beloved Tina. I know when our hearts are aching for our beloved companions that there are no adequate words in any language that can soothe the seering pain of sorrow that is a part of the grief adjustment journey. Still I hope you know you are surrounded by people in this forum who truly do understand what you are going through - - even though our attempts to offer you comfort, encouragement, and support may fall miserably short.

I hope today is treating you and your precious Mindy and Shelley kindly, my friend, and that you and your precious girls will have a very peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Tina's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you and your precious girls are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I look forward to knowing how you're doing and to sharing your treasured memories of your beloved Tina, and Danny.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Hi DannysMom

I am so sorry about how you are feeling although of course it is understandable. I do think the first year of course is always the worst and as it is getting closer to her angelversary it will get harder again. Never feel that you post too much on here though. You are someone that cared so much for your babies. Two amazing babies and this is what this site is for. Sometimes when we are that sad this is the best place to come to to get some things off our chest. Also I no longer feel bad about crying as I really do think it helps. Cry as much as you like as it shows how much of an impact they had on your life and is another way to get things of your chest.

That really is a lovely photo and like many photos tells a story. A story about a cat who was loved by her owner but also a cat that made her owner feel like she was loved too.

I hope you are feeling ok today DannysMom

xxForeverxx

moon_beam and xxForeverxx, thank you for your support. I've had a few crying spells this week. The pain does want to come out. Last night I cried when I thought of Tina's last day with me. I wished that I had not taken her to the vet right away and instead spent some time talking with her and just being with her, but she was having trouble breathing and I couldn't let her suffer. It all happened so quickly. After I took her to the vet they put her in the back and put her on oxygen right away. It was painful sitting there by myself and Tina being away from me and I could feel this was all the time we had left and that I needed to say good-bye that day. That morning we had both slept in since it was a Saturday. Tina was snuggled against me as we napped together. We just had so little time left together. After I talked with the vet they sedated her in preparation. And when they brought her in to me I only had a few minutes with her and I just poured out my heart to her, telling her how much I love her and how good she's always been to me. I held her on my lap and cried so much. I wished I had more time, and time was running out. Before I knew it the vet said softly:"She's gone" and that was that. I felt peace knowing that Tina was no longer in pain, but my heart hurt from being separated from Tina. I miss her so much. Tina meant so much to me. She didn't let her old age slow her down and I admired her for that. She could still act crazy like a little kitten and would fiercely attack her beloved feather wand toy.

Hi, DannysMom, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing, and your treasured memories of your beloved Tina. You have been through a great deal this past year and it is normal sometimes for us to experience what clinical professionals term "delayed grief". Sometimes when we are overwhelmed by many different things, we find ourselves unable to find any kind of comfort from our grief until circumstances in our life begin to "normalize" in whatever way that is needed. Please know you are not alone in your grief journey, DannysMom. Although words can feel empty when our hearts are sorrowful, I hope somehow you will be able to find some measure of comfort, support, encouragement, and hope in the words I share with you.

I hope today is treating you and your precious Mindy and Shelley kindly, my friend, and that you and your precious girls will have a very peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Tina's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you and your precious girls are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I look forward to knowing how you're doing and to sharing your treasured memories of your beloved Tina, and Danny.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Danny's Mom, I know that it's getting close to Tina and Danny's angelversary. I want you to know that I'm thinking about you, and that I hope Mindy and Shelley are able to comfort you.

I know that you wish you'd spent more time wit Tina before taking her to the vet, but I also know she appreciates your selflessness in sparing her the discomfort of breathing difficulty. You gave her a loving gift, at your own expense. That's what we do for our "children."

I know you must miss Danny and Tina so much. My heart hurts for you, and I so wish they were both still there with you in the flesh.

Lancelot sends his chomps & snuggles,
Kel

DannysMom,
Read your post on Feb 23 but only replying now- letting you know you are in my thoughts. Take care.

moon_beam, I think "delayed grief" might be the right word here. I've tried so hard to keep it together instead of just letting my grief out. Last week was a rough one and I was so exhausted by week's end. I found myself crying many times last week. What brought on the most pain was watching a movie on Sunday where at the end a Christmas carol played, and that was just too much to bear. I burst out in tears and thought of my sweet Danny. I talked to Shelley about Tina last night and told her how Tina got stuck in a tree once. Shelley added a surprised 'Ack' at the right moment and listened intently. It made me feel better to tell her about Tina while she was cuddled in my arms.

Kel, thank you so much for thinking of me. I hope all is well with your fur tribe.

sher_mark, thank you very much for thinking of me. It is appreciated and comforting.

Hi, DannysMom, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. I wish there was an easier way to navigate the grief adjustment journey, but unfortunately I do not know of one. The good news is that you have your precious Shelley and Mindy to comfort you when you need it the most without any delay in responding. But even though none of us can be with you physically to hold your hand, I hope you know that our thoughts and prayers are with you as you continue to navigate your grief adjustment journey.

I hope today is treating you and your precious Mindy and Shelley kindly, my friend, and that you and your precious girls will have a very peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Tina's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you and your precious girls are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I look forward to knowing how you're doing and to sharing your treasured memories of your beloved Tina, and Danny.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Here we are on the 28th again. Sigh. I kept busy at work all day, but in the afternoon I felt it hit me. 10 months since Tina died, and I still miss her so. We had this ritual in the evening where she would jump on my lap and I would massage the hollow spot in the back of her neck while she nudged my wrist with her cold, wet nose. It's just all these little things that were unique to Tina. We had such a strong bond. She understood me and I understood her. Every time I look at the faucet of the bathroom tub I'm reminded how Tina used to love drinking from there. She had spunk and what I call "cali-tude", but I loved that about her. She was not a mean cat. She enjoyed meeting people when I had guests and was always curious about visitors. And she liked small children. She was just a bit stubborn about some things and wanted to have them her own way. I remember how she used to attack me ankles from under the bed at night when I sat down on the bed to turn in. She would quickly hide under the bed and then bite my ankles. She did that when she was a little kitten, but grew out of it. I never got tired of looking at her beautiful calico coat, all the different patterns and markings. I guess she was what some would consider a "tabico" as she had tabby stripes in her black and orange fur patches, and a brown tabby stripe on half of her left leg.

My sweet Tina, I miss you so. I hope you and Danny are happily playing together. See you again one of these days, and then we will never, ever part again.

Hi, DannysMom, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. Yes, the "date" when our beloved companions precede us to the angels are indelibly imprinted into our hearts, for our lives are changed forever. Even through the years when the "date" may not always be forefront in our minds, nothing in heaven or on earth can ever diminish our treasured memories.

As the one year angel-versary draws closer, it is very normal for us to feel a "renewed" deep sorrow, but even though it is normal it in no way diminishes the intensity of our missing the sweet physical presence of our beloved companions. It is important for you to know we are here for you, DannysMom, to share the better days, the not so bad days, and the days when your heart feels like it is breaking under the unbearable burden of your sorrow.

I hope today is treating you and your precious Mindy and Shelley kindly, my friend, and that you and your precious girls will have a very peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Tina's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you and your precious girls are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I look forward to knowing how you're doing and to sharing your treasured memories of your beloved Tina, and Danny.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Today, one year ago, on March 5, 2012 I received the devastating news. Tina had cancer. About 2 months to live at the most. I tried to be brave and said that it was okay, that she had a long life, but when I drove home with her in the backseat of my car I broke down crying and could not stop. Tina must have sensed something was wrong. She was so quiet in the backseat. Why Tina? Why now, only a few months after Danny had passed? I thought it was so horribly unfair that I should have to say good-bye to Tina as well. And she didn't even have 2 months, it was slightly less than 2 months, even with the medications they gave her. I think she hang on just for me. At first she responded so well to the meds and ate good and she acted fine. I thought maybe the diagnosis was wrong, maybe she'll be around after all. She seemed fine in the middle of March. But she was steadily losing weight. I made sure I told her every day at least a dozen times how much I love her. Her presence was such a comfort to me after Danny had passed, and now she was battling cancer. She was so brave, my little Tina, still wanted to play and act like a little kitten, still enjoyed laying outside in the sun, still came downstairs to greet me. I guess nobody can really understand how much this little cat meant to me, how much she still means to me, how special she was, how smart and brave and loving. She was all those things and more. I will never forget how tiny she was when I first met her, just 3 months old and sooo cute! She had the cutest little face, and big ears, and she purred when I held her close, and I felt so comforted to hold this little kitten in my arms. Tina loved me with her whole heart, and I loved her and love her still.

One year ago today, March 18, was a nice sunny day, and I took Tina outside to get some fresh air for a few minutes. Before I could stop her she took off after a squirrel and chased it underneath a car. She just took off in a flash. I had no idea she could still do that, but apparently seeing the squirrel energized her and activated her hunting instinct. I had to coax her out from under the car and when I took her back inside she protested vehemently and once back inside she took out her anger on Mindy by giving her a "beating". Seeing Tina chase after that squirrel gave me hope that she might not be as sick as the doctors thought she was. She still had that spunk and that zest for life. I think of that when I get depressed over things and that they aren't as they should be or as I want them to be.

I think Tina's motto for life could very well have been "[Ignore] the torpedoes! Full speed ahead!" She was like that. She did not let things slow her down. Tina was still Tina, to the very last. I think the older I get the more weary I get. In my 20s everything was still possible and I was much more carefree and resilient. I wonder if I'll ever be that carefree and happy again. Going through a lot of grief and pain changes people. Life just isn't the same as it was before. I see the trees and bushes starting to bloom and all I want to do is cry, cry because Spring is coming and my Tina isn't here to see it. This is my first Spring without her, and boy do I miss her!

Hello Danny's Mom

My heart is sad and my eyes are leaking on this most difficult day for you. Fourteen years. I can hardly imagine it. And I can hardly imagine the depth of sorrow and emptiness of the passing of a love and a soul-mate after fourteen years together. Your pictures of Tina are exquisite. As you say, the photo of Tina on the chair really does look like a loving gradnmother. And her eyes - her eyes look like they contain the wisdom of the ages. I cried when I saw the picture of Tina on your lab. The love just SHONE out of the picture. You two were one being - no wonder the pain is so great.

Danny's Mom, please never feel that you post too often or not often enough or don't say what someone else thinks you should say, etc, etc. Your grief is yours alone. We have the right to support you, to empathize with you, to try to sustain your spirit ... but no one has the right to use the word "should."

Danny and Tina are still on their jobs - just like they were when you could see them. They're by your side, meowing and purring, guiding your steps, keeping harm out of your way - loving you more every day.

I lost my beautiful Rufus, a half black lab, half newfie just last Thursday and from half a continent away. Every one of who has been chosen by a spirit animal like Danny and Tina (and my Rufus) whill eventually "choose tears" as one pinned post says here. But which of us would give up the love given and received? Not a chance.

Please be gentle with yourself and let your two new kitties comfort you in their own ways. I does hurt. The price of love.

Regards,

Gretta and Rufus's mom

Gretta's Mom, thanks for stopping by. I am sorry to hear about Rufus, especially that you couldn't be with him at his time of death. Take good care of yourself and I hope things will get better for you.

Thank you so much, Danny's mom.

Hi, DannysMom, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. I am so smiling at your beloved Tina's "never say die" determination. It is one of the most painful experiences we will know on this side of eternity to endure the heartache of developing "new normals" because our companions are now no longer physically sharing our earthly journey. I do so understand how you feel when you share with us: "I think the older I get the more weary I get. In my 20s everything was still possible and I was much more carefree and resilient. I wonder if I'll ever be that carefree and happy again. Going through a lot of grief and pain changes people. Life just isn't the same as it was before." I truly am very sorry that you have been enduring this grief journey for both your beloved Danny and Tina, my friend.

Gretta's Mom has shared with you many thoughts that are in my heart which I would like to emphasize to you: "Danny's Mom, please never feel that you post too often or not often enough or don't say what someone else thinks you should say, etc, etc. Your grief is yours alone. We have the right to support you, to empathize with you, to try to sustain your spirit ... but no one has the right to use the word "should." Danny and Tina are still on their jobs - just like they were when you could see them. They're by your side, meowing and purring, guiding your steps, keeping harm out of your way - loving you more every day. Please be gentle with yourself and let your two new kitties comfort you in their own ways."

Life isn't the same without the blessing of the physical presence of our precious companions - - but I do hope and pray that somehow in some way you do know that your beloved Danny's and Tina's sweet Living Spirits are always and forever a part of you, and that someday in your own way and in your own time the deep sorrow that is in your heart now will eventually ease.

I hope today is treating you and your precious Mindy and Shelley kindly, my friend, and that you and your precious girls will have a very peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Tina's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you and your precious girls are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I look forward to knowing how you're doing and to sharing your treasured memories of your beloved Tina, and Danny.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Hi DannysMom

I am sorry I have not been able to reply as much and be there for you as it gets closer to the one year mark and harder for you. There are no words that can make you feel better as at the end of the day the only way you would feel better was if your Tina was there with you now. However I truly believe that Tina needed to go an be with Danny so he did not feel alone (not that any animal is alone at the bridge) and she knew you would find Shelley to join Mindy on the next journey.

By chasing the squirrel she obviously wanted to prove that she was going to carry on as the Tina you knew right until the very end. She put up a good fight and unfortunately things like cancer take the best.

My thoughts are with you today.

xxForeverxx

Gretta's Mom, moon_beam, and xxForeverxx, thank you for your support, especially to Gretta's Mom. I know how hard it is to reach out to other while going through the grief journey yourself. Moon_beam, thank you for sharing your thoughts with me. What you said is very much appreciated. xxForeverxx, thank you for saying that Danny needed Tina at the Bridge. That is one of the comforting things...at least they are together again.

So here I am again on the 28th, 11 months since Tina passed on. Has it really been 11 months? Sometimes it seems less, sometimes it seems like a lifetime. I was remembering Tina in her younger years and the peculiar things she did. She loved grabbing my shoelaces every time I put on sneakers and tried to tie the shoelaces. She was so playful and energetic. For about 3 years it was just me and Tina, and we were so close. Then I brought Danny home as a companion and that did not go over well with Tina. She thought that I belonged exclusively to her. She was always very possessive of me. That little kitty girl loved me to pieces. She would always try to comfort me when I was sad, frustrated or upset. She cared so much about my emotional well-being and knew I had a lot of stress in my job. Tina loved to drink water from a running faucet. She would sometimes rapidly move her front paws up and down on the glass storm door and it drove me crazy. But now I miss that sound. In the last month of her life she started hiding a lot under my bed. I feared that she might go to die there and every so often I would check on her and shine a flashlight at her to see if she was still moving. It grieved me to see her go into hiding so much, but she would come out and sit with me when I sat down on the bed. She started to look so frail and gaunt, having lost so much weight. And the steroid shots seemed to do less and less good. There was no stopping the cancer inside of her.

Click to view attachment

Thinking of you today DannysMom because it is the 28th and I know you'll be thinking of Tina (and Danny too) and missing them.
Wishing you happy Easter.

Dear DannyMom,
I was moved to tears for you & sweet Tina & Danny, they look a pair of sweeties. I am so sorry for your loss knowing all too well myself what if feels like losing my special boy Simba just 4 weeks ago. Hope you find peace in the knowledge they will be waiting for you on the other side without suffering as i hope Simba will be waiting for me.
love & hugs Gravessa

sher_mark, thank you so much for thinking of me on the 28th. It is very much appreciated. I hope you are doing okay.

gravessa, thank you for your kind words in the midst of your own grief that is so fresh. Yes, Tina and Danny were my two sweeties. I miss them so much still.

I plan on going to the pet cemetery this afternoon to place some flowers on their graves for Easter. Just a month from now will be Tina's 1 year angel-versary.

Hi, DannysMom, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing, and your treasured memories of your beloved Tina. I always enjoy sharing your pictures of your beloved little girl - - they show her personality so well.

Memories can be a two-sided coin, especially when our hearts are coping with grief. Memories help comfort us and keep those who have preceded us to the angels close in our hearts, but they can also be very painful sometimes because they are reminder of our physical separation - - and this physical separation is a very painful adjustment. Still, I hope and pray that as you remember your beloved Tina's earthly journey with you, that you will feel comforted by them.

I hope your visit to Tina's, and Danny's, resting places today will be a good one. I hope today is treating you and your precious Mindy and Shelley kindly, my friend, and that you and your precious girls will have a very peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Tina's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you and your precious girls are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I look forward to knowing how you're doing and to sharing your treasured memories of your beloved Tina, and Danny.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Moon_beam, thank you for your kind words and your support. You are so right about memories being a two-sided coin. Every time I remember something about Tina it also hurts because when I remember things about her I want Tina back with me. I put some tulips on Tina and Danny's graves yesterday so that they look nice for Easter. Other people had the same idea. Tina always "mothered" me. She worried when I went out and she calmed me down when I was sad or upset. Tina was so smart, and she always sat so patiently and quietly by her food bowl. That was her sign to me that she wanted food. I always laughed when she batted the "bad" humidifier with her paws, wanting to get at the water inside the tank. That little gurgling sound it made when it drew water just drove her crazy. She was so athletic in her younger years and often did backflips. To get my attention she would sometimes swipe a little Beanie baby off the shelf and then look at me and meow. And she hated the vet. Every time they put her back in the carrier she would strike an angry paw at the poor unfortunate hand that closed the door. Now when I take Shelley to the vet I still sometimes hold my breath and wait for that angry swipe out of habit, but Shelley is so gentle and wouldn't think of doing that. Tina had spunk and lots of it.

Danny's Mom, I just wanted to stop in and let you know I've been thinking about you since the 26th - I know our "days" are so close together, so you're inevitably on my mind when Pippin's angelversary comes around. Please know that I'm thinking of you, and that I wish there were so much more I could do to make this easier for you.