I am new to this forum. Having read some of the posts I feel safe to post about my cat Danny. It seems that the people in this forum really do care and are trying to help each other. It has been over a month since my cat Danny died, but I still miss him so much, and it is hard to get the last vet visit out of my head. This was the first time that I had seen one of my pets die, and the pain was almost unbearable. That very night I drove around, found an isolated spot to park and just broke down in tears. I was calling out his name over and over again, and with each scream it hurt so much. I feel terribly guilty over his death. I feel that I have failed him. I should have kept his weight down more and never let him get so overweight to begin with. Danny was always a good eater, but somehow things got out of hand, and at one time he weighed 19 pounds. His ideal weight would have been 12 pounds. I managed to slowly get him down to 17 and watched his portions more. He was three months shy of his 11th birthday when he died. Danny was a beautiful, gentle Tuxedo cat.

He started eating less the week of Christmas. We had the roofers for a few days at that time, so I thought it was just stress that he ate less and hid under the bed a lot. But on Christmas Day I knew something was terribly wrong. He wouldn't eat or drink. He tried to, but he just couldn't. Danny was very lethargic. He was hiding a lot, and when he jumped up on a chair he cried out in pain. I took him to the 24 hour emergency pet clinic. They did an x-ray and the vet on call thought he might have pancreatitis. The vet also noticed that his heart was enlarged, but she thought nothing of it. I left him at the 24 hour place and they put him on an IV. The next day he had an ultrasound, and the internist found that he had cardiomyopathy, and that he was in congestive heart failure. His liver was inflamed, and he was going into hepatic lipidosis (fatty liver), because he wouldn't eat. They changed the meds on him and managed to stabilize him, but he still wouldn't eat the next day. When I talked to the internist about putting a feeding tube into him, the vet replied that it was contraindicative because it would stress out his heart even more. Well, how in the world were these doctors expecting him to get better without food? They were taking my money, but offered no real solutions, and the internist hedged when I inquired about Danny's long term prognosis. After talking it over with my regular vet (he had seen all the paperwork on Danny from the 24 hour place), I made the decision to euthanize him. After Danny was gone, my vet said that I had made the right decision, because he had been a very, very sick cat.

Still, I wonder. I am angry at the incompetence of the vets at the 24 hour place. Why did that first doctor think nothing of his enlarged heart? Was it really true that they couldn't force feed him because of his heart? I wish I could get an answer to that. When I picked up Danny from the 24 hour place to take him to be euthanized I felt so bad. His green eyes looked so bright and lively again, and he ##ed his head and kept looking at me and seemed happy to see me. He had an accident in his carrier in the car, and that happened frequently on trips to the vet as he was always so scared to go there. He kept crying and pawing at the carrier door. My heart was breaking and I wondered if he knew. I was beside myself. Not my Danny boy. Not this sweet, gently, loving cat who hopped on my bed every morning and licked my arm. Let it be me, but not him!

He seemed agitated when my vet gave him the tranquilizer shot. He was moving his head back and forth. He seemed so much to want to live, and to this day I still question my decision, even though my vet said that I had made the right decision. I just have no peace about it, none at all. He went quickly. I stayed with him, petted his head and told him that I loved him. When he was gone his eyes stayed open. It was a very traumatic experience for me to see his lifeless little body and his empty, lifeless eyes staring into nothing. It haunts me to this day, and I am crying even now as I type this. Danny was a gift from heaven. He was a sweet and loving cat, very gentle, and he always seemed to be so much at peace with himself and the world. I have never seen that in any of my other cats. Every time I looked into his eyes my heart would just melt. He radiated love and peace, and I was so privileged to have known this gentle soul.

When he died something in me died with him. I have lost interest in most everything. I am very depressed and can't seem to snap out of it. I feel I should have done more. I feel that I have failed my Danny boy.

Hi, DannysMom, please permit me to offer you my sincerest sympathies in the physical loss of your beloved Danny. Losing a beloved companion is never easy regardless of the circumstances or how long we are blessed with the privilege of their company. Euthanasia is the last gift of love we can give to our companions at great sacrifice to ourselves so that they can be restored to their former youthfulness in the company of the angels.

DannysMom, I am not a veterinarian nor a vet tech, but I have taken vet tech courses and I do sincerely wish to reassure you that you did the very best for your beloved Danny by releasing him from his failing painful physical body. From first-hand experience I can tell you that feeding tubes are not the "miracle solution" they appear to be. It is a surgical procedure to insert a feeding tube - - hence, the additional stress on your beloved Danny's heart. Would he have survived the anesthesia and recovery from the surgery? Would taking this risk have helped you if your beloved Danny had not survived after all? Feeding tubes can rupture the stomach thus causing infection. Feeding tubes get clogged and need irrigating. Every time something is inserted into the feeding tube it causes a reflex gagging response. My beloved number one kitty son Eli had a feeding tube inserted - - without my prior permission - - during an emergency surgical procedure that resulted in removing a tumor from his abdomen and his right kidney - - of which he was diagnosed with end stage Lymphoma. I hated that tube and so did my Eli, and both of us were ever so grateful when it was removed a few days later. Your beloved Danny is now thanking you very much for sparing him from this "extraordinary measure" of medical care.

Please do not get me wrong - - there are times when a feeding tube can be very beneficial, and this needs to be thoroughly discussed with the treating veterinarian(s) for the pros and cons. But it is not a "cure" for the illness.

I am so sorry that your experience with your beloved Danny's transition to the angels has been such a painful one for you. Even under the "best" of situations there is this horrible grief journey to travel, and one of the hardest emotions to deal with is the "guilt". Unfortunately it is always a part of the grief journey, and it is one of the hardest emotions to reconcile. Please let me try to reassure you that you did everything in your power to give your beloved Danny a happy, healthy, safe, and loved earthly journey with you. Our furkids have weight challenges just like people do - - and you did everything you could to help him get his "boyish figure" back. So please do not blame yourself for what happened to your beloved Danny.

If you have questions about the treatment your beloved Danny received at the emergency vet you always have the right to place an inquiry with your State veterinary licensing board. It is something to consider if this is the route you feel you need to go to get the answers that will help you.

DannysMom, I know there are no adequate words in any language that soothe the seering pain of loss in your heart. One of the many things you need to remember during your grief journey is that you are not alone. Each of us here do understand what you are going through, and we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us. I know it is very hard to believe right now, but eventually this horrible pain of grief will ease and this will be a good thing because this is what your beloved Danny wants for you. He wants you to know that he is forever with you in your heart and your memories - - he is always and forever a heartbeat close to you.

DannysMom, I hope what I have shared with you will be of comfort to you. Thank you so very much for sharing your beloved Danny with us. Perhaps sometime you will feel up to sharing a picture(s) of him with us - - but only when / if you want to. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, DannysMom, and that I look forward to knowing how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

[quote name='moon_beam' date='Feb 4 2012, 12:16 PM' post='69603']
Hi, DannysMom, please permit me to offer you my sincerest sympathies in the physical loss of your beloved Danny. Losing a beloved companion is never easy regardless of the circumstances or how long we are blessed with the privilege of their company. Euthanasia is the last gift of love we can give to our companions at great sacrifice to ourselves so that they can be restored to their former youthfulness in the company of the angels.

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Hello moon_beam and thank you so much for taking the time to reply and for your words of comfort. You are a very thoughtful and kind person, and it is comforting for me to know that there is someone out there who cares. I live alone, and Danny was like a family member to me. My surviving cat, Tina, got very sick shortly after Danny died, but thankfully she recovered. I don't know what I would have done had I lost her too. It is so strange. I always thought I would lose Tina first since she is 14. But she is a very feisty and spirited Calico cat. Danny was the more sensitive one. He ran off to hide under the bed during a thunderstorm while Tina would be sitting by the window watching the lightning. Danny's sensitivity and shyness made him all the more endearing to me. He loved getting his tummy rubbed, and he would roll his head back and forth in delight every time I softly stroked his tummy. I always called him my little kitty angel, because he seemed to have an almost otherworldly serenity and peace. He was always so much at peace with himself and the world. Danny loved Christmas, and that's why it was especially hard losing him at a time when one should be joyful. When I sat in the emergency vet waiting room their TV was blaring the 24 hour marathon of 'A Christmas Story'. It seemed so grotesque to watch it when I was in so much pain. I have attached a photo of Danny, and hopefully I did it right. It is my favorite and shows how beautiful he was.

Moon_beam, thank you for sharing about the feeding tube. After reading what you wrote I think that it was probably better my Danny was not burdened with it. It seemed to me the emergency place was shuffling Danny from one specialist to another just to see how much more money they could take from me. I would have paid more, that was not the issue. I just felt that they weren't completely honest with me about his chances for survival. Would you believe just 3 days in that place for Danny cost over 2,300 dollars? I still do think that the first vet who examined Danny should not have dismissed his enlarged heart. She said it was okay since he was overweight anyway. Goodness, where did she get her license to practice? My regular vet was much more caring and compassionate regarding Danny. They even took his paw prints in clay for me after he died. He is buried at a pet cemetery here in Virginia, and I have visited his grave and talked to him there.

I have started a pet remembrance journal for Danny and pasted some photos in it and written about my life with him. Oh, the memories! Every time I write about him I still cry. Death is so grotesque and unnatural. This was not the way God intended it to be for us and the animals. I remember when I first saw Danny. On an impulse I went into a pet store in the mall, just to look at kittens and for something to do. And there he was, sitting there so peacefully and looking out at the world with those amazing green eyes. It was love at first sight for me, and I knew I had to take him home. The ten years that I had with him went by so quickly. A lot of times I just wish I could hold him and pet him again, and it hurts that I can't. When I look at his photos I can almost still feel his soft fur.

I want to thank you again for your words of comfort as this has made a real difference for me.

Hi, DannysMom, thank you so very much for sharing with us how you're doing, and this wonderful picture of your beloved Danny. I can so relate to your feelings about Danny being your angel kitty because of his serene peaceful personality. Although I love each of my companions deeply and dearly, my beautiful baby girl Abbygayle also possessed this same quality. She was always ready for a hug and cuddle. Her sibling brother Noah is my precious snuggle boy, and he tolerates being held for short periods of time. My Abbygayle joined the angels in March 2010 at 6 years and 10 months of age (see Abbygayle's Journey if you'd like). Different personalities and equally precious in their own individual way. I am so very glad you still have your precious Tina with you, DannysMom. I know she is a comfort to you as you are also a comfort to her.

It does not surprise me about the cost of the ER vets. The quality of care that our companions receive now is equivalent to the human medical professionals -- if not better in some situations than human medical care. Since some time has passed now from your beloved Danny's treatment at the ER hospital and his care continues to be on your mind, you might want to consider writing a letter to the vet who disregarded your beloved Danny's enlarged heart to let her know how upsetting this has been for you. You might also want to forward a copy to the owner of the ER hospital as well as the State veterinary licensing board. You have a right to share with this vet how her treatment of your beloved Danny has deeply affected you. It's called "feedback" or "customer satisfaction survey". I am ever so thankful that your regular vet offered you the compassion you so rightfully deserve. As for your beloved Danny's enlarged heart, this could just as easily have been from the cardiomyopathy which he could have had regardless of his weight.

DannysMom, this grief adjustment journey is both physical and emotional. I do so understand how you feel when you say you wish you could hold him again. I found it very helpful to hold one of my beloved companion's blanket or toy during the deepest grief as this helped to bridge the painful physical adjustment to not being able to hold their sweet precious physical body in my arms. I slept with their collars under my pillow as well. It is important that you find helpful ways for you to endure this painful adjustment. No, it doesn't stop the pain of physical absence, but it does help to ease the pain that is a part of this grief journey.

DannysMom, thank you again so very much for sharing with us how you're doing, and for sharing your treasured memories of your beloved Danny. I hope today is being kind to you and your precious Tina. Please know you both are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I look forward to knowing how you both are doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Moon_beam, thank you for your kind words and your support as it is very much appreciated. Last night I was crying again in bed, thinking of my sweet Danny boy. Not too long ago I was holding him and now all I have is the memories of him. Mindy has become my four-legged therapist. As I was crying she laid down next to me, started licking my hand and purred. It's like she knows. It is so wonderful to be comforted by her.

I thought about your suggestion to contact the emergency vet place and to let them know how I feel, but right now I don't want to see or hear from that place again. Just thinking of it causes me pain. What has brought me a measure of comfort was your post about the feeding tube. I thought about what you said and it made a lot of sense to me. The more I think about it the more I'm convinced that I did indeed spare Danny further suffering. The vet said they couldn't do the feeding tube anyway because of his heart issues, and even if they had placed the tube so much could have gone wrong. I definitely would not want to have caused Danny any additional pain and suffering. I am getting a measure of peace about it, and that is good. Still, the emptiness is so great, even with Tina and Mindy comforting me.

Hi

I just wanted to add my deepest sympathies for your loss.

It must be still so hard as I know as it's been 5 weeks since I lost my Chewy. Mindy sounds like the perfect companion after your loss as she seems to understand and I'm happy you have someone helping you. Danny loved yo so much and knows you would do anything to have him back. I'm sorry I can't offer much advice but moon_beam always does and is the reason the site is s great along with all the other wise and wonderful people.

I hope you are feeling ok today.

xxForeverxx

Hi, DannysMom, thank you so very much for sharing with us how you're doing. I am so very glad that I have been able to offer you some comfort about your beloved Danny's medical treatment. I am so very glad you are beginning to find some peace in your heart. I can relate very well for different circumstances as to how you're feeling about the ER vet. I encourage you to do whatever brings comfort and peace to your heart, DannysMom, and if NOT pursuing any further contact with the ER vet helps you with this, then this is what is best for you. Okay?

DannysMom, each of our companions have their own special place in our hearts and lives. Even when we have other precious companions to share our lives with does not stop the ache in our hearts for the beloved companion who is no longer physically with us. I am so very glad you have little Mindy and your precious Tina for comfort, but it truly is not a negative reflection on you for missing your beloved Danny even though you have Tina and Mindy with you, so please do not be upset with yourself. What you are feeling is normal grief, DannysMom.

Thank you so very much for sharing with us how you're doing, DannysMom, and your precious Tina and little Mindy. I hope today is being kind to you and your precious furkids. Please know you and your precious fur tribe are in my thoughts and prayers, and look forward to knowing how each of you are doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

xxForeverxx, thank you very much for your kind words. It is perfectly okay if you can't offer much advice, because most of the time I can't either. I read people's post about their pets who have passed on, and it just makes my heart so heavy and I want to say something that will comfort them a bit, but am just at a loss as to what to say. It is very hard for me still. I cry when I say his name, I cry when I talk about him to my other cats, and I am just longing for him to be with me again. Danny's presence is greatly missed. I held one of his little toy mice today and remembered how he used to hold it between his two front paws and then he would lick the feathers profusely. My heart ached so much when I thought about that. Where did those ten years and nine months with him go by? It seems like only yesterday when I first saw him as a kitten, and now he's gone.

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Hi DannysMom

I totally understand how you feel. All the new beds etc I have been buying for my two kittens I keep looking at them thinking, Chewy probably would have tried to sleep on that or play with that and it makes me sad.

How are you other babies coping? I find myself one minute crying to them and (however bad it sounds) comparing them to my Chewy and then the next minute I am so grateful they are there.

I hope the world is treating you kindly today DannysMom. I am thinking of you, Danny and your other babies.

xxForeverxx

P.S. That picture of him is absolutely gorgeous!

xxForeverxx, thank you for stopping by and for your post. Tina, my surviving pet, seems to be coping just fine. She never really liked Danny all that much, but she did grieve. Mindy, my new kitten, is my therapist. She comes and lies down next to me and purrs when I start crying in bed. Mindy is very loving and sweet, and I think how nice it would have been for her and Danny to play together. I just know they would have become good friends. It would have been so much fun to see two Tuxedo cats play together.

I do compare Mindy to Danny sometimes, and in some ways she is like him, but she is very much her own personality, and I love her for who she is. She has been very loving and playful, and she talks a lot just like Danny did. He had the sweetest voice, very melodic. I loved hearing him talk. I wished I had taken much more photos of Danny as he always enjoyed posing. He knew how handsome he was. I just remembered today how he used to play hide and seek behind doors with Tina when he was real young, and sometimes he would get himself locked into a room. He used to love doing a little 'dance' in his litter box and just kick out the litter. It was so funny!
Every time I think of these memories I long to hold him and pet him just one more time. It's been over a month, but I still miss him so much.

My sweet little Danny boy, it has been almost two months now since you left me. I still miss you so, especially last night. I looked through your journal and at all the photos of you that I pasted in there. I couldn't stop crying as I looked at each photo, seeing your sweet smiley little face, and wishing so much I could hold you again and hear your strong, loud, contended purr. My life has not been the same since you left. I feel so empty inside. I stopped by your grave today, and I saw that your concrete marker has been put up. I touched it and traced the outline of your name with my fingers. You brought so much joy into my life with your very presence. I loved your calm and peaceful spirit, my sweet friend. I still have your food bowl and your little mat where they used to be, but you aren't coming back to grab a snack. Your death came at a time when I could least deal with it, and I am still struggling so much. I still remember how it felt to rub your soft, warm, fluffy tummy, and how you used to roll your head from side to side in delight. I love you, my little friend.

Hi DannysMom,

Just like you, I lost my fur baby not too long ago--just this past Wednesday. And just like you, I am hurting deep down inside over the loss of my Percy. I know that I cannot offer much help to you, but just know that there are so many others out there just like you who are feeling the same way you do. I hope that your other babies are keeping good company with you. Danny Boy sounded like a wonderful cat--he was so handsome! I hope that he and my Percy are somewhere at the Rainbow Bridge together and that they'll keep each other company.

Blessings,
Grace

Hi, DannysMom, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. I am so glad your beloved Danny's marker is now in place. I know this brings much comfort to you, even though you would prefer to have his precious physical presence with you. Please let me try to reassure you that one day when you read through your journal and look at your beloved Danny's pictures that your heart will be filled with happiness - - and you will be smiling once again. I know right now this seems impossible, but I assure you this will happen when your heart is ready.

I hope today is being kind to you, your precious Tina and little Mindy, and that you and your precious furkids will have a very peaceful evening. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, DannysMom, and that I look forward to knowing how you and your precious furkids are doing, and sharing your treasured memories of your beloved Danny.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Apparently some other people feel there is something wrong with this place. They've gotten some good reviews on Yahoo and Google, but there are also some that are troubling and not so good. It makes me sick to even think about this place. They knew how sick Danny was, and instead of being honest with me and telling me that they kept fleecing me for money. I understand that these 24 hour places are expensive to run, still...there is no need to see distraught pet owners as nothing more than 'cash cows'. Danny's heart condition had been diagnosed by their internist who wanted to shuffle him off to their heart specialist. Why a specialist for everything? They had determined he had congestive heart failure, so what else is there to diagnose??? My own vet could have diagnosed Danny just as well had it not been a holiday.


therealstory ‎ - Feb 7, 2011
The only thing this place is interested in is your payment to them. They could care less about your pet or your feelings, they only want your credit card information to keep piling up the bill. After being told one thing and then another 2 days later, with a completely different outcome from the previous conversation with them, and then only to be asked about payment several times before anything had even been done, their true colors really shine through. I wouldn't recommend this place to ANYONE and if you can go anywhere else except here, DO IT !!!! Not only do they want to charge you for every single thing they do (and don't do), they are the highest cost related vet in this area.

Southwest ‎ - Jan 22, 2009
Inadequate Vet Customer Service My dog passed away during emergency surgery. When the vet notified me that my dog would have to go into surgery, I asked her for the cost of the surgery and the implications. She said that she would return with a printout of the cost. She never returned to discuss with me the surgery and instead, had the front desk attendant speak with me. I had to ask for her to return to the waiting room because she had not provided any details of the surgery, the risk, recovery rate, etc. I felt like this was truly a business and that they were rushing to get me in and out of the building. I called to find out the status of my dog's surgery because several hours had gone by and they had told me that they would contact me with a status. The was told that they were really busy and that the vet would call me when she went into surgery with my dog. She did not call me and once again, it was the front desk attendent who contacted me. Thirty minutes into the surgery, my dog's heart stopped.

by missing shadow
04/16/2009

I was referred to this vet when my lab Shadow was sick. I would never never go there again!!!! all they care about is money not the care of animals. When we got there a man was upset because he had brought his who died at home to have cremated and was charged an euthanasia fee. I was told than my lab had cancer. And that chemo may help or we could give pain meds. My dogs legs and paws swollen so bad. we decided to have her euthansia cause she was 11 years old and we didnt want her to suffer anymore. Than filled out all the paperwork to do it,crying the entire time. just to have the docter refuse to do it, without having 1200.00 in test done.
we felt having her euthansia was the humane thing to do, plus as the owner i felt it is my choice. this was an friday we took our dog home with meds she suffered the whole weekend by sunday she had to be carried outside to potty. Monday we took her to Midway Vet the Vet could not believe that that vet sent our dog home it such bad shape. tiderwater animal was terrible DO NOT TAKE YOU BELOVED SICK PET THERE!!!

by pmbm3
11/01/2011

I had the worst experience with the emergency center. I arrived at about 10:30 in the evening with my 3 yr old pug who was in labor and had stopped contracting. The doctor said we needed a c-section. At about 3:30 they said my pug had two pups and was not mothering them. The vet assistant came out with my pug and her pups squealing and said they need milk in 30 minutes or they will die. My pug was out of it. I asked where I get milk and she said maybe Walmart that the vet was out of stock. I asked about another clinic and she said she could help me find the number after she checks another patient out. The man said to take care of me first. I end up getting her home and the pups nursed off of her but she laid there lifeless. I dosed off for a bit and woke up finding her bleeding. I took her back and they hydrated her and wrapped her. Around 4:30 the new doctor said she had to go back in. One of the stumps needed more sutures. No wonder she did not want to nurse her babies. She was ready to go at 11:30 at night and was acting and looked great. After paying for two surgeries she is better. She is now taking great care of her pups!!! It was the worst experience I have ever went through. The 2nd doctor was great and printed me up papers on how to take care of the pups if the mother does not. I wish she would of been the first doctor I saw.


1 of 5 stars
Apr 29, 2011
by Guest42915
I went to the clinic Monday night at 9:00 pm with my new puppy vomiting and lethargic seem to not even care my opinion this is not a good place for emergency. Others came in and they all seemed to the staff to be more important than mine. I finally left at 10;30 pm without never seeing a vet. wanted to do test on my dog with out even seeing the Vet $177.00 that is crazy....

Hi, DannysMom, thank you so much for sharing the information you discovered about the ER vet. It sounds to me like the veterniary state licensing board needs to do an investigation into the method of operation of this practice. I know it is distressing to discover the horrid pattern of inadequate veterinary care at this hospital, but it can also be comforting in the respect that you know your beloved Danny was not "singled out" for improper and inadequate medical care.

I truly am very, very sorry that you and your beloved Danny had to go through the horrible experience at the hands of uncaring veterinary practitioners. If there is any consolation from this it is that you know to avoid entrusting your precious Tina and little Mindy to these people.

I hope today is treating you and your beloved furkids kindly, and that you will have a very peaceful evening. Please know each of you are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I always look forward to knowing how you're doing and sharing your treasured memories of your beloved Danny.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Moon_beam, thanks so much for your reply. I have looked into what is involved filing a complaint with the state veterinary board, but I'm not quite sure that I really have a strong case. That place would probably say that they did the best they could, and they would also find out who complained. I wouldn't want to have them come back and say that I don't have a case. I'm just not sure what to do.

My sweet little Danny boy, today it has been two months since you passed on. Last night I broke down crying again, holding your little green blanket in my arms and just crying until I could cry no more. I miss your presence so much, and it is so painful to look at the empty spaces that were once occupied by you. I still imagine you napping on top of the couch, and your cute little bandit's face looking at me. I miss you coming into the living room and cheerfully announcing your presence. I even miss you letting the kitchen cabinet door bang shut to let me know that you want your food. Every time I stop by your grave I just start crying. I still find it difficult to function and to do everyday things. Your death was such a blow to me. Remembering you only makes me wish that you were still here. It doesn't seem to get any easier. Will I ever stop hurting so much?

Hi, DannysMom, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. Please let me try to reassure you that this deep grief will ease - - but only in your own way and in your own time. Unfortunately there is no way to speed up the grief journey, or eliminate it completely. There is no date on the calendar you can circle that you can say "this is the day that this deep sorrow will be over." But I promise you, DannysMom, that one day, probably when you least expect it, you will be thinking of your beloved Danny and you will find yourself smiling -- truly smiling - - and your heart will fill with the warmth of your beloved Danny's sweet Living Spirit. It's just going to take time, DannysMom.

If you do not feel comfortable placing an inquiry with the state licensing board, that's okay. If you want to wait awhile until you can think it through more, that's okay. It's just an option available to patrons of veterinary care. It's already a "given" the practice will defend itself. The point is that you try to make them accountable for what was / was not done for your beloved Danny. Asking for a review of Danny's care is your, and your beloved Danny's, right. Whatever you decide will be the right decision for you.

DannysMom, I hope today is being kind to you and your precious furkids, and that you will have a peaceful evening. Please know each of you are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I look forward to knowing how things are going for you.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

My dear Danny, today would have been your 11th birthday. I remember how I always used to sing 'Happy Birthday' to you and how you enjoyed that. It was raining really bad when we put the flowers on your grave today, and I am sorry that I couldn't stay long, but I wanted to honor you on this special day with some beautiful, bright tulips.

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I miss you, my little friend. Some days are better than others. I miss hearing your sweet, cheerful and melodious voice. You always brightened my day with your presence.

Hi, DannysMom, thank you so much for sharing your beloved Danny's angel-versary birthday with us. Your beloved Danny's resting place is so beautiful. I hope you know your beloved Danny's sweet Living Spirit is by your side every moment of every hour of every day continuing to share your earthly journey as he always has and always will.

I hope today is treating you and your precious furkids kindly, DannysMom, and that each of you will have a peaceful evening. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I look forward to knowing how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Danny's Mom,

Your Danny was such a handsome boy! I can just see his shining personality even in his pictures. How very much he must have loved you!

I'm so sorry that you had to go through a difficult experience with the emergency vet. When we lost our Horatio, we felt much the same way about the place to which we had brought him - we ended up transferring him to the local veterinary college small animal hospital on the last day he was with us. Took the kitty ambulance with him and all. I felt a great deal of anger toward the emergency vet who I felt shuffled us through a million doctors, and every day it was something new they suspected, and our little Horatio just kept getting worse. No continuity of care! That was so frustrating. We wouldn't take another cat back there if it were the last clinic on earth.

I will say, given my recent experience with Pippin, that it sounds like you did the right thing for Danny by not allowing them to place a feeding tube. It doesn't sound like it would have changed the very unfortunate outcome, and it would have been just one more procedure for Danny to have had to endure. You knew your little man the best. Trust that you did what was right for him. I can't imagine Danny would disagree!

I'm so very sorry for your loss, Danny's mom. Those tuxedo boys - little heartbreakers, aren't they? So much love and life and personality. He's near your heart now, watching over you.

Hello Kel, and thank you so very much for taking the time to stop by and write me this note. I appreciate you recognizing little Danny's shining personality! That is really so true! He was kind of like a noble little kitty knight, a very loyal little boy who stayed with his 'sister' Tina when she was sick and would not leave her side. He was a very gentle cat, loved getting his tummy rubbed!

Thank you for sharing your experience with Horatio. I am sorry that you had to go through such a bad experience at the emergency vet. I think these emergency and referral centers exist just to primarily make money. And you are so right about them shuffling the kitties from doctor to doctor just to see what else they could diagnose.

Kel, thank you for your comfort and support. The tuxedo boys are indeed little heartbreakers. I loved Danny's bright green eyes and his long whiskers. He was extremely handsome! I now have a little Tuxedo girl with amber eyes. She has a cute little doll face, and I call her 'my little puppet'. At first I thought:"A girl?!" But I think it worked out better that way. I probably would have compared another Tuxedo boy to Danny, and they need to be appreciated for who they are. Each one has their own unique personality.

I am so glad that you could take your Pippin to Tufts. It is a good place. I've had a wonderful experience with their pet loss hotline.

Danny sounds like he was such a sweet boy, Danny's mom. I know you must have a huge void in your life, and my heart aches that you have to be without his physical presence.

It was tough to go through that with Horatio, and to wonder if something got missed in the shuffle, but I've come to accept that it probably wouldn't have changed anything. That doesn't make it a whole lot easier, though. In fairness to the emergency centers, there is one near me that has been a godsend - they are fantastic, and though expensive, they were great about working with us to ensure Pippin got the best care. I just wish everyone could find such a fantastic resource, you know? I wish no one else had to go through the frustration and uncertainty we did with Horatio (and that you did).

It's probably a very good thing you found a tuxedo girl, instead of another boy (or should I say, she found you!). I don't think you would compare them, but at least this way, you know for sure you're not.

How is your Tammy doing?

Hello Kel, and thanks for your note. I am glad that you found a good emergency center near where you are and that they took such good care of your precious Pippin. Unfortunately my experiences with the center down here hasn't been so good. The one where I took Danny was primarily out to make money. There's another one where I took Tina when she had a fever, and they treated her really well, but they missed her pneumonia, and it took me two more trips to my vet before she was diagnosed with pneumonia. Tina hat caught the herpes virus from my little Tuxedo girl who had picked it up in the shelter. Mindy was able to shake it without much problems, but Tina developed a fever and pneumonia. That's the difference between a young kitten and a 14 year old geriatric cat.

I've come to learn that cats hide their pain and discomfort and by the time their human notices something it's already much advanced whatever they have. Tina is doing better. She is breathing much easier and her appetite has picked up. She seems to be doing well on the methimazole for her thyroid. I am so glad that they make those liver flavored chews as Tina is extremely difficult to medicate and resists vehemently having a pill shoved down her throat.

Hi DannysMom

I sorry I have not written in a while. I hope your Danny and my Chewy are playing with each other at the bridge. By the sounds of the personality your Danny had they will be having great fun up there.

Me and Danny shared the same birthday so I am sending a belated happy birthday to him. The tulips you left for him are beautiful.

I am glad to hear that Tina is feeling a little better.

Hope to hear from you soon.

xxForeverxx

Hello xxForeverxx, and thank you for stopping by. I am sure that my Danny and your Chewy would be good pals. Danny always loved playing chase. That is so neat that you share the same birthday as Danny. He is the only one of my cats whose birth date I know for sure, and that always made it kinda special for me.

My sweet Danny boy, three months ago, on Christmas Day, I took you to the emergency vet. I was so scared, and I felt so helpless, and most of all it hurt so much to see how you were in pain. While they examined you I sat in the waiting room where the TV was blaring and playing the 24-hour 'A Christmas Story' marathon. I was all alone in my pain and I was even bombarded with a happy Christmas movie. It felt so obscene, as if the world was making fun of my pain. I wanted so much to throw a chair at the TV to shut it down. The vet said you had an enlarged heart, but she thought nothing of it. She said there were no masses or tumors on the x-ray, and that she suspected pancreatitis. They wanted to run some more tests and have you checked on by their internist who would not be in until 2 days after. I had to leave you there and drive home alone. The house felt so empty without you. I kept looking for you on the bed, and in the kitty condo, but you weren't there. It was the saddest Christmas Day that I have ever had in my life. For months I've had a bad feeling that something very bad was going to happen Christmas, and my worst fears came true. You died three days later.

Tonight I miss you so very much, my sweet little boy. I miss your cheerful meows and your sweet, smiley face. I miss you snuggled up by my feet in the mornings and gently waking me up by just sitting there and looking at me. My beautiful little Danny boy, I love you so.

Danny's Mom, thank you so much for sharing your letter to Danny with us. Your love for him is so, so very obvious.

You'll be in my thoughts.

Hi, Danny's Mom, thank you so very much for sharing your and your beloved Danny's angel-versary with us. As we take time to reflect on our earthly journey with our beloved companions during our grief journey it can sometimes feel obscene that we have continued to live on doing our jobs, our errands, our daily routines - - when our hearts are yearning for time to stand still - -- to turn time back to when our companions were physically with us. Hopefully you know your beloved Danny's sweet Living Spirit is forever with you in your heart and your memories, Danny's Mom. No, it isn't the same as having his sweet physical presence with you, but hopefully the eternal love bond you and your beloved Danny share will bring a warmth to your heart to encourage you and comfort you during the moments of sadness that still consumes your heart. And please know we are here for you, Danny's Mom, through every step in your grief adjustment journey.

I hope today is treating you, your precious Tina and little Mindy kindly, Danny's Mom, and that you and your precious furkids will have a very peaceful evening blessing with your beloved Danny's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and look forward to knowing how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

DannysMom thank you so much for sharing with us your letter to Danny.

Danny knows just how much you did for him and would have done for him if you physically could have and your love is still as much as it was before if not more! He really was a gorgeous boy and I am sure he still is playin with my Chewy at the bridge.

I hope today you are being treated kindly and your other precious fur babies.

xxForeverxx

xxForeverxx, thank you for your kind words. I am sure that Chewy and Danny are having fun together. Danny always loved playing chase and being chased. Yesterday I thought of him, and I pictured him in my mind and heard him saying a cheerful 'Raaah'. That was one of his favorite sounds. It felt so real, and I almost went looking for him. Today is being a tough day for me as it is exactly 3 months since Danny died, and all the memories of that day keep flooding back into my mind. The thoughts of his last minutes on earth are not as searing as they were in the first few days after he was gone. They are blunted and softer, but they are still there, and I still cry.

My dear sweet Danny boy, today it is 3 months since you died. December 28 was also a Wednesday. It was a nice, mild Winter day, unseasonably warm and very sunny. It is still very upsetting to me to think of your last hour on earth. When the vet started the last injection into your paw I watched in horror and wanted to scream "No!" and stop him, but something restrained me. I did not want you to die, not in this way, not so soon. I used to think we still had 4 or 5 more years together, but it wasn't meant to be. I remember how you bobbed your head back and forth after you got the first tranquilizer shot. I thought you were fighting it, but I was told that you were feeling woozy and that's why you were bobbing your head. I was looking into your beautiful green eyes and I told you that I love you before the light went from your eyes and you stared into nothing, your body just an empty shell. After a minute the vet listened to your heart and said gently:"He's gone." It felt so unreal. How could you be gone when I needed you so much? I wanted to die along with you. My heart was breaking when your little body was carried out the door and your head fell lifelessly to the side and your green eyes still looked at me. They seemed to look straight at me.

Later that evening I called your name over and over again as if calling your name would bring you back to me. I wanted you to come back to me. How could you be gone? I was in so much pain. Today has been a very painful day for me. I've been crying and remembering you. It was especially hard for me when I picked you up from the emergency vet. You looked at me so lovingly with those bright green eyes and you seemed to be thinking:"Mom is here to take me home!" But I wasn't taking you back home. You cried a lot in the car and started pawing at the carrier door as if you were saying:"No, Mom, I want to live!" Out of fear you had an accident in your carrier like you had most of the time when I took you to the vet. I felt so horrible, and each time you cried and looked at me so pleadingly, I felt like my heart was breaking. I didn't want to lose you, but the vet said you were a very very sick cat, and that I had made the right decision. My sweet boy, I do love you so and I miss you so much.

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Hi, Danny's Mom, thank you so much for sharing your and your beloved Danny's angel-versary with us. It never ceases to amaze me how the hardest decisions we have in our lives are the ones that prove beyond all shadow of a doubt the deepest love in our hearts.This is obvious in your beautiful love letter to your beloved Danny. I hope you can feel his sweet Living Spirit in your heart and hear his soft voice say, "it's okay, mom - - I love you for setting me free from my physical body. I'm always with you, mom - -I'm always a heartbeat close to you. Thank you for being my Forever Mom."

I hope today is treating you kindly, Danny's Mom, and that you and your precious Tina and little Mindy will have a very peaceful and cozy evening blessed with your beloved Danny's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you and your precious furkids are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I look forward to knowing how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Hi DannysMom,

The pictures you shared of your precious Danny really made me smile. He looks like such a happy cat; so full of joy and personality. I can just imagine him being a real character at rainbow bridge -- I bet all the other fur-angels are having so much fun with him!

I'm so sorry you had to physically lose him. I know you miss his physical presence so much. I know you feel like your heart, and the very life of you, has died alongside with him. I promise you that in time the pain will become less raw. There will probably always be that 'nag' - like a wound that has mostly healed, but you still have the scar. We never truly get over a loss like this, but we do learn to adjust. Somehow. Hang in there and just take each day as it comes. That's all you can do for now.

Thinking of you and wishing you well -- Cheryl x

Dear moon_beam and Cheryl, thank you both for your kind and comforting words. This forum has been a real lifeline for me. I feel understood, and nobody is saying that Danny was 'just a cat'. I am thankful for all the support and comfort that I have received here. Hitting the 3 month mark was very tough for me. It was almost like living through that horrible day all over again. I literally had to shut off part of my heart in order to make the decision I made. I know it was right to spare him pain and suffering, but I still hated being the 'Angel of Death' as Jon730 would say. I am thankful that my vet was so compassionate and gentle with Danny. It must be hard on them too when they have to do that. I know I could never do it. And then I think of all the people here in this forum who have lost their fur children in more horrible ways, and I am thankful that Danny was spared such a kind of death. I always thought if anyone would hurt my Danny that I would just go nuts.
He had such a sweet voice, and I miss hearing all his different sounds.

Hi DannysMom

I feel awful I was not on here to send my love on the 3 month anniversary of your Danny.

I hope you are feeling ok today. I know what you mean about the playing the angel of death part. That is the thing that gets me sometimes as it hard knowing they had no choice over their life's. It is silly to think it though as we only do it as we don't want out babies to suffer and it is the right thing to do. They will know that when they move on to their next non painful life.

I thank god for this site a lot as I don't know where I would be now without you all so I am glad you have found this place a lifeline too.

xxForeverxx

Hi, Danny's Mom, stopping by to say hello to you and your precious Tina and little Mindy on this Saturday observance of your and your beloved Danny's 4 month angel-versary. I know this is a difficult time for you in your adjustment journey and now having to travel the Anticipatory Grief journey with your precious Tina. Life must not seem fair to you right now on many levels. Please know my heart is sharing your sorrow, and that I, along with all the other wonderful friends on this forum, am here for you.

I hope today will be find you remembering many treasured memories of your beloved Danny, and savoring this cherished time you have with your precious Tina. Please know you and your precious furkids are in my thoughts and prayers, Danny's Mom, and that I look forward to knowing how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Moon_beam, thank you so much for remembering and for stopping by. Today has been most difficult for me as this is not only Danny's 4 month angel-versary, but also marks the day of Tina's passing. Mindy is a bit quiet, but she is eating. I hope she'll adjust to Tina being gone.

Hi DannysMom

I am so very sorry to hear about the loss of your Tina. No words can make you feel any better at the moment but please take comfort in the fact that your Danny and Tina are now together. I am sure Mindy will be ok eventually. She will grieve just like you are so just comfort each other for now.

I hope you are ok today DannysMom and making sure you eat well and stay active.

xxForeverxx

xxForeverxx, thank you. I just feel so exhausted and fragile. This is taking a lot out of me. I had been slowly coming out of grief for Danny, and now this is hitting me all over again. And sometimes I worry about Mindy and think what if I lose another cat.

Hi, DannysMom, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. What you are feeling is very normal: "And sometimes I worry about Mindy and think what if I lose another cat". I have felt the same way about my precious Noah. It has taken me 2 years to begin to breathe just a little easier that Noah and I truly do have both quantity and quality time to share together. Losing two beloved companions in a short period of time does make us anxious about the companions who continue on with us.

You are doing "double grief", DannysMom -- for your beloved Danny and Tina. It is very important that you find the time to rest and keep your body nourished - - even if it's just drinking some broth. Grieving takes a lot of energy, and it also takes a serious toll on your immune system.

I hope today is treating you and your precious Mindy kindly, and that you both will have a very peaceful evening. Please know you and your precious Mindy are in my thoughts and prayers, DannysMom, and that I look forward to knowing how you both are doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Moon_beam, thank you as always for your support. These past four months have been so difficult for me. Losing Danny was very very painful, and it was compounded by Tina's illness and death. I've been grieving for Danny as well as being a caregiver for my ailing Tina and trying to bond with Mindy. Poor Mindy has been shortchanged in all this.

Danny is still missed, but of course now Tina is in the foreground. Her death was expected, but that didn't make it any easier. Mindy has been comforting me like only the Tuxedos can. She snuggled next to me on the couch last night and rested her soft little head against me and gently touched me with her paws.

My sweet Danny boy, I haven't forgotten you. I thought of you right around 3 p.m. on April 28, and I started crying when I remembered the time of your death. Your sweet voice still echoes in my mind. You were always so cheerful, happy, and easy-going. I wish you could have been around for a few more years. Looking at your sweet face always made my heart melt. I know you welcomed Tina, and you must have been so happy to see her again. When I stood there looking out over the marsh on April 28 I felt as if you and Tina were looking down on me. You always cared about Tina, even when she was grumpy.

Oh Danny boy, you gave me so much love and joy. I always appreciated your laid-back personality. You were such a gentle boy cat, and I remember how you enjoyed being brushed. You always purred so much while I brushed you. You were always eager to try out new toys and blankets. I am so glad you came into my life. I miss you and love you.

Hi, DannysMom, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing, and your beautiful love letter to your beloved Danny. I can understand what your saying about feeling that your little Mindy has been shortchanged with needing to focus on your beloved Tina's health needs. I felt the same way about Noah - - my little caregiver and nurturer - - always ready to put himself last. I think this is one of the many reasons why I am so honored to dedicate the rest of our lives together just for him. And when the time is right - - when your heart knows you're ready - - you and Mindy will be able to embrace a new family member.

DannysMom, you are so right when you say: "Her (Tina's) death was expected, but that didn't make it any easier." There really is NO WAY you can "prepare" yourself for the physical loss of a loved one. Regardless of the circumstances there will always be the grief adjustment journey to endure. This is one of the many reasons why it is so very important for you to know you are not alone. We are here for you, with you, and beside you, DannysMom, through every step of your journey. And I know your precious Mindy is there with you to comfort you, as you are there for her.

I hope today is being kind to you and your precious Mindy, and that you both will have a very peaceful evening. Please know you and your precious Mindy are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I look forward to knowing how you both are doing, and sharing your treasured memories of your beloved Danny and Tina.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Moon_beam, thank you as always for your kind words and support. Today it's been 4 months and two weeks since Danny passed on. In the past two weeks my grief for Tina was in the foreground, but I haven't forgotten about Danny. Yesterday, I looked at the beautiful 8X10 photos of Tina and Danny that I put up, and I didn't know who to cry for first, Tina or Danny. I miss them both so very much. They had been companions to me and to each other for so long, and we were a happy little family. No matter how much else went wrong for me, I could always count on Tina and Danny being there. And now they're both gone.

Danny was rarely if every in a bad mood. He was always cheerful, laid-back, and easy-going. He was such a handsome boy kitty, and he had such fluffy, soft cheeks. And super-long whiskers framed his beautiful face. I'll never know why someone didn't want him and put him in a pet shop, but it was such a blessing for me. I often think about how I had that sudden impulse to go inside the pet shop and look at the kittens. They had a glut of kittens there that day, all male cats. But I only had eyes for Danny, who was in a little cage with his brother. It was truly meant to be, and I am so blessed that he came into my life. My little Danny boy taught me so much, and he gave me so much love.

Hi, DannysMom, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. During my grief journeys it never ceased to amaze me how time continues on - - doesn't miss a beat - - and I feel how incredibly wrong this is for in my heart I feel the world should stop and acknowledge that a precious life is no longer a part of this earthly world. So I know how it is for you, DannysMom, as you and your little Mindy endure through each of the angel-versaries of your beloved Danny and Tina.

Thank you so very much for sharing your beloved Danny with us. I hope today is treating you and your little Mindy kindly, and that you and your precious little girl will have a very peaceful and cozy evening blessed with the sweet Living Spirits of your beloved Danny and Tina to comfort you. Please know you and your precious little Mindy are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I always look forward to knowing how you and your little Mindy are doing, and your treasured memories of your beloved Danny and Tina.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Moon_beam, as always you know just the right words to say: "and I feel how incredibly wrong this is for in my heart I feel the world should stop and acknowledge that a precious life is no longer a part of this earthly world." That is how I feel too. It's been almost 5 months now since Danny passed on, and I still miss him. Last night I cried so much when I thought of him and Tina. I was always so happy with them. They were my babies.

I remember Danny's soft fur, his long whiskers, and those gentle green eyes, and I want to reach out and touch his fur again. He sometimes tried to meow when he yawned, and it made me laugh. I enjoyed taking short naps with him on the bed. In the last few months of his life I was even more drawn to him than usual as if my spirit sensed that the time we had left together was running out. I would sometimes get anxious when he wasn't nearby, and when I found him sweetly napping in the bedroom I would relax. He was there. It was okay.

Hi, DannysMom, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. I know how you feel "I would sometimes get anxious when he wasn't nearby, and when I found him sweetly napping in the bedroom I would relax. He was there. It was okay." Everything is right with our world when our companions are physically with us. It is a long road in our adjustment journey when they precede us to the angels.

I hope today is treating you, your precious Mindy and baby girl Shelley kindly, and that you and your precious girls will have a very peaceful and cozy evening blessed with the sweet Living Spirits of your beloved Danny and Tina to comfort you. I thank you for the blessing of your friendship, DannysMom, and of your precious Mindy and baby Shelley. Please know you and your precious girls are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I always look forward to knowing how you and your precious furkids are doing, and your treasured memories of your beloved Danny and Tina.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Today marks 5 months since my Danny passed on. I still miss this sweet, big, lovable Tuxedo boy. The pain is still there, even though it has gotten easier to live without his presence. I never thought I would make it this far. The day that Danny died I just wanted to die right along with him. And I had no idea that I would lose my sweet Tina 4 months later. Danny was truly special. He was a very gentle cat, and he brought me so much joy just by being here. My heart aches to much today as I remember him and his last few days on earth. His illness came unexpected and his death hit me very hard. I miss his sweet little face greeting me in the morning. He would just sit on the bed and look at me and wait for me to open my eyes.

Hi, DannysMom, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing, and your and your beloved Danny's 5 month angel-versary. As the deep grief eases we do find ourselves wondering however on earth we have "survived" the agonizingly painful reality that our beloved companion(s) are no longer physically with us. When our companions come into our lives we don't think about the many dangers and different circumstances that may physically separate us from them. And rightfully so, for if our hearts were focused on these thoughts we would miss the joy of the precious wonder they share with us every moment of their earthly journey with us.

It is the joy of this precious wonder that sustains us through the seering pain of deep grief, and which embraces our hearts and memories with the eternal love bond we share with them. It is what brings hope to our lives once again and enables us to try to live our earthly journey in a way that will honor them.

You have done this, DannysMom, by embracing the new joy of your precious Mindy - - a gift to you from your beloved Danny who knew the heartache you were feeling when he could not longer be physically with you, as well the heartache that would once again envelope you with as your beloved Tina transitioned home to the angels. I know this Memorial Day is a challenge for you, as it is the first major holiday that both your beloved Danny and Tina are not physically with you. The good news is that they are forever in your heart and your memories, DannysMom - - they are always and forever a heartbeat close to you. I hope this brings some comfort to you on this day of mixed blessings.

Thank you so much for sharing your beloved Danny with us, DannysMom. I hope today is treating you, your precious Mindy and baby girl Shelley kindly, and that you and your precious girls will have a very peaceful, blissful, and cozy evening. Please know you and your precious girls are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I always look forward to sharing your news and your treasured memories of your beloved Danny and Tina.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam