Hi, Petunia, thank you so much for sharing with us how you and your precious Smokey are doing. The quality of life issues are never easy to quantify, particularly during the Anticipatory Grief with the looming question of "when is enough enough" always before us. I know your precious Smokey is deeply appreciative of your loving dedication and devotion to her throughout her life, including this time of her transitioning home to the angels. I know you and your precious Smokey are cherishing every moment you have together, for they are memories you both will have to treasure.

Petunia, I hope today is treating you and your precious Smokey kindly. Please know you and your precious Smokey are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you both are doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Thank you Moonbeam.

Tomorrow - May 1st is Smokey's 19th Birthday. The cat age calculators tell me that's somewhere around 91 - 93 years old in human years. She is such a sweetie and I love her so much. She was 3 months old when I got her.

My hubby gets home in about 9 days and I'm hoping she won't deteriorate too much over the next 9 days. I hope she will hang in there so he can see her.

Petunia, please give Smokey a pat on the head for her birthday from me. 19 is quite an age! I am so glad that she is still around for you. My sweet Tina died April 28. She was 14 1/2 and I've also had her since she was 3 months old. I hope your husband gets to see Smokey. Best wishes!

Hi, Petunia, thank you so much for sharing with us how you and your precious Smokey are doing. May I offer my Happy Birthday wishes to your precious Smokey!!! I know having her with you on this day is a treasured gift that you wil hold close to your heart forever. I hope today is treating you and your precious Smokey kindly, Petunia, and that your husband's travels home will be safe and uneventful so that he and your precious Smokey can spend some quality time together.

Thank you so much for sharing your precious Smokey with us, Petunia. Please know you and your precious Smokey are in my thoughts and prayers, and look forward to knowing how things are going for the both of you.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

DannysMom - thank you for your good wishes. I'm so sorry about your sweet Tina. It is so hard when we have been with our babies for so long.

Moonbeam - thank you. It was a nice day and she was feeling well, so it was extra special. My hubby got down in time and has been able to spend some time with her.

Sadly, this week she has really taken a bad turn. The appetite stimulant is no longer working and she is basically refusing to eat. None of the usual (wet food, chicken, treats, tuna) nothing. I have had to assist feed her with a syringe the last couple of days and she is just very weak. She takes Hi-vite drops for the anemia but I just don't think anything is helping anymore and there really are no more good days. She is getting that faraway look in her eyes. It is heartbreaking.

Hubby leaves again for 3 weeks on Saturday and I have to work every day until then. I don't know - but I don't think she can make it much longer and seeing her like this is so hard and not fair to her. It's so hard to make these decisions.

Dear Petunia, My heart goes out to you, this sounds so much like where I was with my Mischief last year (she was 17 and had been diagnosed with cancer a year earlier, finally her kidneys gave in) - thinking of you and Smokey and sending some huge hugs, Leejaye

Hi, Petunia, thank you so much for sharing with us how you and your precious Smokey are doing. I am so very sorry that your precious Smokey's quality of life is quickly diminishing. It is very heartbreaking having to make "the decision" that will physically separate us from our companions, but I know with all my heart that you will make this decision when it is the right time for your precious Smokey with the deepest most unselfish love you have for her in your heart.

Please know you are not alone in your and your precious Smokey's journey, Petunia. We are here with you, for you, and beside you through every step of your journey. Please know you and your precious Smokey are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I look forward to knowing how you and your precious Smokey are doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

thank you Leejaye & Moonbeam.

It is with a very, very heavy heart that I report that my sweet Smokey is gone.

She got progressively worse and starting on Wednesday, she just refused to eat. By Friday she wasn't able to walk more than a few steps before falling and by Friday evening she could barely raise her head. We took her to the vet Friday night and in the car on the way there she could no longer control her bladder. I thought she might not make it there.

At the vet she could no longer really open her eyes. It was just heartbreaking. We decided to have the vet administer the medication because it was clear to everyone that there was nothing to be done and otherwise it was just waiting for the inevitable. If we waited for it to happen naturally I was afraid I wouldn't be there - what if I left the room or went to the restroom? We knew what to expect after losing Wicket in August.

My husband had to leave town the morning after for three weeks and I have been sitting on the couch ever since. I know you all understand how hard this is. After 19 years of her being in my life. I mean - before her I was in high school. I can't remember life before her. Memories of her are everywhere. It's just so hard, I miss her so much. I can't believe that she and Wicket and both gone. I feel so defeated and so sad. I miss by best friend so much, and I would do anything to see her again.

Petunia, I am so sorry for your loss. Please accept my sincere sympathies. Your little Smokey is with the angels, as moon_beam would say, and she and Wicket are playing together again just like my sweet Tina and my Danny are together again. My heart goes out to you for having lost both Wicket and Smokey in the past year. I know it must be so lonely without her for you had been together for so long. Please take good care of yourself.

Hugs,
DannysMom

Hi, Petunia, please permit me to add my sincerest sympathies in the physical loss of your beloved Smokey. Losing a companion is never easy, and the grief journey is intensified when our losses are multiplied.

I know how devastated you are feeling, Petunia - - my heart is reaching out to you across the cyber miles. I know there are no adequate words in any language that can soothe the seering pain of loss in your heart. I hope you will find comfort in knowing that your beloved Smokey's sweet Living Spirit is with you now as she always has been and always will be. She is forever in your heart and your memories - - she is always a heartbeat close to you.

Thank you so very much for sharing your bleoved Smokey with us, Petunia. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I look forward to knowing how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Thank you.

My other cat Petunia - (thus my user name) and Ginger, thankfully, have been very supportive. It's like they know something is wrong. They have been with me pretty much non-stop. Everything reminds me of her.

I have been sleeping on the couch, I just can't get myself to sleep in bed, where she slept next to my head every night. It just feels so strange to be there alone. I mean, if I headed to bed, even for 5 minutes to shut my eyes, she was there with me.

The worst part about it for me is that I always was taking care of her. I hate that she's gone somewhere where I can't take care of her or watch over her. She never really knew life without me either, and it hurts to think she might think she was abandoned or I left her behind.

I understand why people who only have one pet, and they lose that pet sometimes never get another one. The loss is just to great.

Hi, Petunia, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. Right now it is very important that you do what helps you through these very difficult deep grief hours, days, weeks. I am so glad your precious Petunia and Ginger are keeping you faithful and comforting company.

Petunia, please let me try to offer you some words of reassurance about your beloved Smokey when you say "She never really knew life without me either, and it hurts to think she might think she was abandoned or I left her behind." Please know that your beloved Smokey is watching over you from her heavenly home. IN NO WAY does she think you have abandoned her - - she KNOWS this is IMPOSSIBLE. She is eternally grateful to you for all your faithful and loving attention, care, and devotion during her earthly journey, and knows how empty and devastated you are feeling right now. But she wants you to know that she is FOREVER with you in your heart and your memories. The love bond you and your beloved Smokey share is eternal, Petunia, - - nothing in heaven or on earth can ever change this. Her sweet Living Spirit continues to share your earthly journey just as she always has and always will - - she is forever a heartbeat close to you.

As you know, Petunia, this grief journey is filled with so many different emotions that take us up and down and all around, and just when we think the horror roller coaster ride has started to slow something out of nowhere takes back through the loops and twists and turns and turnarounds. It is so important that you just take one day at a time, sometimes one moment at a time, and know, my friend, that we are here with you, for you, and beside you through every step of your grief adjustment journey.

I hope today is treating you and your precious Petunia and Ginger kindly, and that you will have a peaceful evening. I thank you for the blessing of your friendship, Petunia. Please know you and your precious furkids are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I look forward to knowing how you're doing,

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

It is exactly that - a roller coaster...one minute I feel better because I'm thinking about something else, and another I see something of hers or the blanket she liked to sleep on and I lose it all over again.

I have been sleeping on the couch because I just can't bear to sleep in the bedroom where she slept next to me everyday. Just not ready to do that yet.

I am glad that there is a long weekend coming up, going to work and going out of the house is hard too. So it will be nice to not have to go out for a few days.

In a way if it hadn't been for Smokey - really my first kitty, I would have never ended up saving all the kitties we have saved over the years. Four others that we kept as pets (which we still have three - now that Wicket is also gone). And at least 8 more we found, nursed to health or until they were old enough and found homes for. So I guess Smokey didn't just bless me but she blessed all the other kitties we took in ever since.

She was and always be such a wonderful baby.

Hi, Petunia, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. Your beloved Smokey truly has had a wonderful impact on all the lives she touched during her earthly journey - - and her sweet Living Spirit will continue to be a part of everything you do, Petunia, for she is always and forever a part of you. How blessed you and your husband are to be her Forever Mom and Dad - - the only ones throughout all eternity who are blessed to have been her earthly caregivers and beneficiaries of her forever love.

I hope today is treating you, your husband, Petunia, and Ginger kindly, my friend, and that you will have a peaceful evening. I thank you for the blessing of your friendship, Petunia. Please know you, your husband, and your precious furkids are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I look forward to knowing how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

They called me that her ashes were at the vets office today, so I went over to get them. On my way home they called that they had forgotten to give me something - some kind of sympathy package. I think I remember from Wicket, it's like a card and a book and a paw print.

For a few minutes in the car I felt like she was with me in some way.

I love my other cats but they are not her, and our relationship is different. We understood each other in a way that my other cats just don't. It's not their fault and I love them but it's just different.

I miss her so much and I feel so alone without her.

Hi, Petunia, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. As you are all too familiar when we get our beloved companion's ashes back it is a two sided coin: on the one side it can be very comforting to have them back home where they belong, while on the other side it is yet another blantant "reality check" that they are not with us in the physical form we so long to hold in our arms. I am so sorry that you will have to go back to pick up the sympathy package the vet prepared for you. I do know how difficult it is to go back to the vet's office after the physical loss of a beloved companion, even when it is for a routine check up for another furchild.

It will take time for you and your precious Petunia and Ginger to adjust to the "new normal" in your family unit. It is normal to feel alone when your heart is in deep grief, even though you are surrounded by other companions who love you. Your beloved Smokey and Wicket are keeping a loving vigil over you, Petunia. And please know we are here for you through every step of your grief adjustment journey.

I hope today is treating you, your husband, Petunia, and Ginger kindly, my friend, and that you will have a peaceful evening. I thank you for the blessing of your friendship, Petunia. Please know you, your husband, and your precious furkids are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I look forward to knowing how you're doing, and to sharing your treasured memories of your beloved Smokey and Wicket.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Petunia, I know what you mean about the special relationship you had with Smokey. That's how it was between me and Tina. My sweet Tina was very attached to me. She greeted me by the door and would wait for me sitting in the window. She would comfort me when I was upset and she slept with me every night. I too felt so alone without Tina, because we had been so close. My heart goes out to you, and I hope that you will find some comfort in treasured memories of Smokey.

Hugs,
DannysMom