Well, Miss Angel Lady WonderWolf died at about 5 p.m. Arizona time. She died with total grace, not in any obvious pain--she was just breathing one moment, and then not the next. It was the most peaceful passing I have ever seen with any of my dogs, ever.

She and Sweet Pea can now frolic together at the Rainbow Bridge, I guess. Sweet Pea only got there five hours ahead of Lady.

I'm still calm. Very, very sad, but calm.

Thanks for all the wonderful support.

Margi and Ladywolf and Sweet Pea's spirits

Margi,

I was gone all day & just checked in to read how Ladywolf was doing and saw this news pop up as I was begining to read the posts about her bad night etc.

Talk about a double whammy with Sweet Pea & Ladywolf both. I am so glad it was peaceful. Somehow that may help your grief journey.

I am so sorry to hear the journey for Wonderwolf has come to an end here on earth but you were a wonderful, wonderful Mom to her right till the end. All of us here will have you in our thoughts and be here for you.

Ginger

Oh my gosh, Margi. I just started crying as soon as I saw the new topic. I just don't even know what to say. In my mind, I'm hugging you though I don't know if that's what you would even want right now. I understand if you're feeling numb. When Niles passed, his last few moments were a struggle but then there was that silence. And the numbness flowed over me like water. I've never experienced it before. And to some degree, I still am numb about his death.
I'm so glad you were able to be there with her. And I am so very glad that it was peaceful for you both. We can't ask for much more than that even though it hasn't been peaceful for you for a long time. Your struggle over the last months has been an inspiration for me to keep pulling myself up. To keep going when I feel like I've had enough.
I won't try to tell you all the things you already know. You know this grief process far too well. But please know that I'm here. We're all here. My deepest sympathies go out to you now.
The Lady sleeps. Rest easy, sweet Ladywolf. Sweet dreams, precious angel. And rest easy, Margi.
-Donna

Ah, I'm sorry. I just read your reply to my post and you said she wasn't doing well. Then I saw this.

I'm glad to hear she went easy. I know nothing takes the grief away. But I'm glad to hear it was peaceful and she wasn't in pain.

Magdalene

Margi,

I just gasped when I read your post. I am at a loss for words. I am so very sorry. As you know, death can not break the type of bond that you and Ladywolf share.

Please take care of yourself and let us know how you are doing.

Love,
Rhapsedy

Margi, you did everything right and Ladywolf rewarded you by going her own way and not forcing you to make that decision, God love her! You are such blessings to each other. She'll be waiting for you, but take care of yourself now okay? - she'll be happy to wait a long long time.

Big Hugs Margi...I will be thinking of you. I'm sure Popppers was there to meet them. I'm so sorry

Sonya

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Hi Margi
I am so so sorry. I am still in shock just reading your post. My heart goes out to you and with your Angel. I know she is there with poppers along with sweet pea. I know they made that journey toghter. Margi again I am so sorry. Your sweet angel will live forever in your heart along with all of us here.

Hugs
xoxo

I'm so very sorry for your loss. You have had quite a journey with Ladywolf and Sweat Pea, and to lose them both in the same day, after all you've been through, I can't even imagine...and after all of the support you've given me and so many others after loss, here I am not knowing what to say...I will think of you often as you continue this sad journey, I hope that knowing that so many of us are thinking of you will help to give you strength. My heart aches for you.
Kelly and Stew's spirit

Dear ((((((Margi))))))

I am very saddened to hear the news about your very precious girl, Ladywolf . Not to mention, hearing about Dewey's beloved Sweet Pea , I'm very sorry. I will surely keep you in my thoughts and prayers, Margi, as well as your friend Dewey.

I believe in my heart that beautiful Sweet Pea was there to meet your lovely Ladywolf at Rainbow Bridge. They are both young again and able to run free. She will ALWAYS live on inside your heart, Margi.

It's easy to see that you are part of a very supportive group of friends here at Lightning-Strike and you all share an extremely strong bond of love for one another.

Wishing you peace & love.

God Bless!

Denise

I'm so sorry Margi, perhaps she prepared you for her passing. I had that happen with one of my cats. I bet they're playing together, and chasing stuff. I'll always think of her as she looked when she was reading the paper. : }

Take Care

Thank you all, so so much for your loving observations.

Denise, you too are part of this supprtive group of friends. I've just been around a lot lately and that's why I feel so bonded to people here, and they to me.

I'm in and out of going mad and being totally sane. The usual faces of grieving!

Margi

I'm so glad...

that I slept outdoors with Ladywolf last night, under the stars where we both belonged
that she went peacefully without apparent pain
that Moon_Beam sent me a lot of money to have her checked out--that's how I found out that she had diabetes
that the vet found the diabetes and put her on insulin and her whole quality of life changed for the better for her last few weeks
that I have very supportive "real-life friends," especially my friend Joan
that I have all of you to call on for loving support
and especially...that Lady and I found each other about twelve years ago. It's a big world out there, and it's hard to hook up with "the one..."

Margi

Click to view attachment
Margi
My heart is very heavy tonight thinking about you. I know how you are feeling how you feel like your whole world has just crumbled around you. How
you feel so empty inside and all around you. It is the most gut wrenching pain that only anyone who has loved an animal knows how it feels. Makes
you want to just go to sleep and never wake up. I wish I could be there to give you a hug. We all know how much you truly loved Ladywolf. I am so glad
that she did have some good quality time her last few weeks. She truley knew how much you loved her. I know there are no words that anyone can say to
take away your pain that you are feeling. All we can do is be here to lend our shoulder and to let you know that you and Ladywwolf are in our thoughts.
Your Angel Ladywolf became part of all of us here she was loved around the world.

Lots of hugs Margi
Anna and My Angels

Dear Margi,

First off, you just sent me a message about a chatroom. I didn't know there was a chat room here and I don't know how to find it or get to it. Last week this site was down and I just came back on it and read about your loss of Ladywolf. The last time I was here I know you were somewhat optimistic about the insulin. And now to find that Ladywolf passed has knocked my breath away. I think that your calmness is the shock of what has just happened. I too wish, there was some kind of transporter so I could come and sit with you in this time of loss and sadness. You are the ultimate dog-mom, having taken care of Ladywolf's every need--medically, physically and spiritually. You have been so supportive of everyone, myself included, here at the site. And now it's time to use some of the support here for you.

I'm glad the two of you had your night together last night, outside. You did so much and gave so selflessly to Ladywolf. I know that at a time like this, a lot of these word just bounce off of you, but nonetheless I am writing to let you know I understand where you are at, and what you have to go through. Please know that my thoughts are with you and you lost loved one.

Tahoeden

Dear Margi
I am sending my heartfelt condolences to you. Dear Ladywolf is free from pain and suffering now and as you say she will be flying free with Sweetpea and all our Angels. It was so good that you spent that night together under the stars, and that she passed peacefully. The always dignified 'Lady' left this physical world in her usual graceful way. She is truly your precious Wonderwolf.
I will look for you in 'chat' again soon, but I hope that you can now get some rest. Thinking of you and sending a big HUG.

Love Jan and Pixie and my Angels xx

Margi,

I am so sorry about Ladywolf. My heart just sank reading your post - tears are swelling in my eyes. Reading your post throughout Ladywolf's journey has made me feel a little like part of your family. I know how hard it is. I still struggle with my losses too. I am so glad she went peacefully. She is with God now and feeling great - one day you will see her again. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers.

Take care of yourself.

Karen

I just wasn't expecting to read this when I popped in to check out how things were going, I am so upset about Ladywolf, oh that beautiful creature, it's so sad. Through your posts Margi, she has become a part of my life and I share your sorrow at her passing. You certainly did everything humanly possible to make her last days as comfortable as you could, I hope you are ok Margi, I am thinking of you, it's a pity we all live so far apart at times like this, we only have our love and words to share and that undying love for Gods beautiful creatures. Hang in there girl, you are not alone in this. xx


madi xx

Quote: "First off, you just sent me a message about a chatroom. I didn't know there was a chat room here and I don't know how to find it or get to it"

Dear tahoeden, go to the LS web page and click on "chat" on the left at the top of the page. Just follow the prompts and you're there. I am the only one there usually, other than janika who I keep managing to miss.

madi xxhttp://lightning-strike.com/forum/index.php?showtopic=5836&st=0&gopid=58247&#

I am so sorry Margi.
You did so much for Ladywolf and I know she is looking down from heaven with love for you. It sounds like she went so peacefully which is comforting to your soul. (hugs)

Margi
I am so sorry and shocked to hear that Ladywolf is gone. I was really hoping that she would continue to do well a little longer but she knew when it was time. I hope you have some comfort in knowing she went peacefully. I did not realize you had also lost another dog six months ago until I saw that in one of your replies yesterday. And then to have Sweetpea go on the same day it seems like so much to handle all at once. I hope you can spend some time taking care of yourself right now. You need some time to rest and recover as well but I also know how it is to be out of work as well. Try to take it easy though as much as you can right now. I hope that your memory of you and Ladywolf spending her last night together under the stars brings you peace and comfort. Take care. {{HUGS}}

I am so sorry to hear that. I knew you helped support me so kindly last night, and you are right, it helps to do so to others. What a beauty, and as you told me, it IS the best way to go, but still we feel the pain of loss no matter what. Again thank you for your kind words, and hugs to you.

Dihann

Well, it's the next morning, and I did sleep through the night, and dreamed that I was in a pet shelter feeding goodies to all the kitties before I visited the waiting dogs...

I'm having more trouble believing that Sweet Pea is gone than Lady at this exact moment. I had really counted on Sweet Pea "having my back" after Ladywolf passed, and it seems impossible to believe that she is gone too now. She was such a marvelous, independent spirit who had lived on the streets for at least a year before I rescued her and tamed her, and then she went to live with Dewey. She was my back-up MAN, Sweet Pea was.

Lady's body is in my car, waiting to be buried. I think I'll feel a little better after that is over. It's hot out there today in southern AZ, so I hope that the digging of the hole starts pretty soon. (It's being done by a friend, so it's out of my control. I certainly couldn't dig that big and deep a hole myself...)

I feel numb and sad at the same time. I haven't had a crying jag yet today, but I know I will later. Had a doozie of one last night.

Once again, I thank you all for your marvelous compassionate support. It really really helps, in fact, I am kind of LIVING at this forum right now, wishing someone was around to chat with. (Haven't seen anybody to talk to yet today.) The house feels very empty, as I knew it would. But I didn't know that the neighborhood would feel so empty of dogs too. Poor Dewey, Sweet Pea's companion, is devastated. Her cancer was a total surprise yesterday, whereas I had many months to get used to the idea of losing Lady...

Thank again, everyone, for being around!

Love--Margi

P.S. Anyone who's coming into this forum as a newcomer, there are tons of pictures of Ladywolf in my thread called "Ladywolf is doing really well..."

Hi Margi,

I am so sorry about Sweet Pea. I know how devasted Dewey and your are about her cancer. When we got the news about Casey's cancer we were floored. We had no idea he was so sick. I will never forget Dr K coming back in the room and telling us what a really sick kitty our Casey was. We thought we were just going in for some meds, boy were we wrong. Two weeks later he was gone.

Take care
Karen

Hi, Margi, I got home from work about 45 minutes ago and the first thing I did after Noah and I exchanged our loving greetings was to fire up the internet and log onto to see your news. I am deeply saddened for you that Ladywolf is now with the angels. I, too, thought Sweet Pea had a fighting chance to heal from her surgery, and the cancer diagnosis was a total shock. I hope your friend is able to dig Ladywolf's resting place soon both for her and your peace of mind.

Margi, I have come to know you and Ladywolf through your postings and wonderful e-mails, and I feel this loss deeply with you. I am ever so glad that you had so many months with her after her initial diagnosis, and that you were able to get an updated medical status that improved her quality of life, and enriched both your lives, for awhile longer. Thank you so o o o much for sharing your precious girl with us.

Margi, please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, my friend, and am reaching out to you across the miles along with the other wonderful people in this forum. And please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

I'm sorry I missed you on chat Margi, I'm still there if you are around. It is early afternoon here, so I am still working, but leaving the chat page open and coming inside and checking every now and again. So far I have managed to miss everyone who has been on there. xx

Luv Madi xx

Margi,

I was glad to see you had the energy to post here today. I was thinking about you and your two beloved losses. I know you were going to your friends for the burial and I was wondering how you were doing (I can pretty much feel how it is for you). I'm not surprised by your bouts of numbness. That was some dream you had last night...it was good you could get some sleep. I went to the chatroom today to see if you felt like talking. Madi, whom just posted here, was in the chat room but didn't reply, but now I see she was working. Anyways, I'll hopefully see you in the chat soon. My heart goes out to you.

Dennis

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Hi Margi
I hope you are doing ok. I seen this and thought of your Ladywolf somewhere this beautiful, as you can see she is looking at you as if to say yes mom I now have to fend to feed myself now. And as you know I do know how to fish so dont worry I will never starve. Margi I
try to think of our angels truly somewhere this beautiful and free to roam where ever they choose makes me feel so much better. I am thinking of you and as Madi called her Wonderwolf. Which says it all no wonder you fell in love with her.

Hugs
Anna and My Angels Doz,Max,Smokey and Lady
xoxoxo

P.S
LadyWolf sure has many new friends

I love that picture with the Ladywolf in it Anna, it's really beautiful!! xx

Oh Margi, I haven't been on here for a few days and I'm deeply saddened to read about your beloved Ladywolf and Sweet Pea. You couldn't have done any more for her and you gave her a wonderful life and allowed her to die with dignity. Please take comfort in that. Like Anna said, your angels will have lots of friends waiting for them. Huge (((((hugs))))

Irene xx

Margi, how are you doing? Did you get Ladywolf buried? I just wanted to check in on you.
-Donna

H, Margi, like Donna I'm just checking in with you to see how things are going. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, my friend.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Anna--Thank you for the beautiful picture--although to me, it looks like the wolf has its eye on the beaver, not the fish. Te--hee.

I'm doing...okay. Just okay. Ladywolf's and Sweet Pea's deaths came at a time when I totally ran out of money, and don't know where the next income is coming from, so my life is pretty radically altered right now--for example, I don't have coffee and cream, so am having ice tea for breakfast. It's not bad, but I feel deprived of my usual rich cup of coffee. Also, I smoke, and I am about to be out of tobacco--NOT a good time to go into nicotine withdrawal. But I have no choice, not until the next job breaks for me. This summer is likely to be grim, until school starts and I can start teaching again. I hate to come on here and bitch about money, but it is definitely influencing the quality of my grieving process, i..e. I feel really sorry for myself right now, having to give up my comforts.

Otherwise, well, I am just resigned to the fact that Lady is gone. The "real" lady--the one who could run and jump and hoot and howl--left me a long time ago, so I had all that time to get used to the idea of her departure. The reality of it is just about as I imagined it would be--the house is empty and I am alone. But I've had a lot of friends around lately, so I haven't had time to be lonely, per se. Just...alone. And sad. But more worried about money than sad, most of my moments. I live in a tiny town--there are virtually no employment possibilities here, except for the (closed) schools.

That's my blunt reality. Maybe the universe is trying to get me to clean up my act--but the timing is bad.

I'll survive--

Hugs--Margi

Hi, Margi, you are close in my thoughts and prayers frequently throughout the day. And I can relate to your current place in time - - not the best place to be at any time, really.

You had mentioned in one of your earlier posts that when Ladywolf was no longer physically with you that you would pack up and move back to California. Is that still an option? Can you do some internet employment searches now and hopefully find a job - - somewhere even if it isn't California?

Margi, survival is a result of a "crisis" situation, and being unemployed certainly qualifies as crisis situation because it affects so many other basic areas of our lives, and those who are with us. I really would prefer to see you thriving. And I know your precious Ladywolf and Poppers would, too.

Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Margi. I wish there was something more tangible I could offer you, but all I have is my friendship, and this always yours wherever you are.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Margi, I'm so sorry for your circumstances. I know what you mean about the bad timing. I've had woes that go well beyond this forum in addition to my pet losses. I know I'm being molded into a better person through all of this but man, is it hard! Does it have to be all at once?
Maybe your employment situation is a diversion for what you're going through. I don't know. I'm sorry you're having to give up your comforts. I wish I could help in some way. But right now, money is tough all over, I think. My husband's new job won't bring in what he used to although it is a good move for him. And each trip to the vet, as you well know, is $200 or more. The estimate we received to do everything that Sera needs will run anywhere between $400-$600. I love animals but it's especially difficult given that her previous owner (my brother-in-law) should've taken care of her! But anyway, that's barking up the wrong tree.....
I'm glad you're still posting to let us know how you're doing. I'll reply to your suggestions about Buck on my thread but I do appreciate you managing to get on here and help someone else. I do so hope that things turn up for you in a positive way. My heart goes out to you as you move through this awful place.
-Donna

Thanks, Ladies--the empathy really does help!

I saw a sign recently that I liked a lot. It read: "I know that God never gives me more than he thinks I can handle...I just wish He wouldn't TRUST me so much!" LOL.

Moon Beam--yes, eventually I will move back to CA. But I have to have money to do that, so it's a paradoxical issue. My car wouldn't even make the drive in the condition it's in now.

Other summers, this has been a high-profit month for me, because I have taught summer school all throughout June and made a decent income. This year, there is no summer school, "thanks" to budget cuts...

Okay, back to my ice tea, which is really quite okay. I have a little typing/editing job to do that's a way to partially return the favor to the guy who buried Lady for me, so at least I'm busy for a little while.

Hugs--M

Dear Margi,

It sounds like the burial at Joan's house has been completed. I started smoking cigs on the day Kota passed, but now I'm dealing with bronchitis...never been much of a smoker. After taking care of Kota for over a year, and not working, I too am broke, single without a family, have some friends, don't know if I can afford this rental much longer and have no job prospects. I don't know about the God thing...I get way overwhelmed feeling like there is a lot more going on than I can handle. I get judgmental at times like this, looking at others who've lost their pets but still have a spouse or their own home or a steady job, etc. When I come home, after being with friends, I get slammed sideways by the emptiness of this house, and by the hopelessness of not knowing how I'm gonna take care of myself in the near future.

The reality is is that no one is going to take care of us, especially not in the way that we took care of our lost loved ones. When Ladywolf and Kota were alive, even in their old and ailing bodies, we had a focus and purpose, and now reality doesn't seem so kind. I'm not much of an optimist lately. In a Woody Allen movie someone said to him, "You're the type who sees the glass half empty." He replied, "No, I always see the glass as half full.......of poison." That always gave me a chuckle. Well if you want to take a road trip to California, while I still have this rental, you could crash here for awhile. At least I still eat better than just a box of Kraft cheese and macaroni.

I've been on the chat site but no one ever seems to be there. "It takes time to pick a place to go...but just keep truckin' on..."

Dennis

Dennis--I've been trying to Skype you but can't get through...

I'm feeling sad today. Just plain old sad. Not weeping, inconsolable kind of sad, just kind of empty and lost...

Margi and no Wolf

Oh Margi! I am so saddened by the news. It was so apparent how much you loved LadyWolf and how you did EVERYTHING you possibly could for her. You are such a great momma to your babies and now, more than ever, they know it. Lady is at complete peace and awaits you once more. Until you are reunited again, I hope you find much love and peace in the upcoming days and months. We all know how hard it is to lose part of our heart and how we only wish we could have that back in our lives. One day, we will!

My thoughts are with you!!!!!!

Thanks Loci, and everyone--

Ladywolf lives! In my heart, anyway, if not in her body. Yes, the burial went fine. It was very casual--two guys hangin' around with shovels chatting about the good old days, while I read a poem and Joan put a flower on her grave. (The wind came up and blew off all the petals except for one...) It was not a deeply sacred ceremony, just kind of matter of fact. But I am so glad to have a place to go visit her, on the property of a friend who is not likely to move, so she will be there for a long, long time...

I'm doing okay. I've decided to go back to doing some counseling. I had a therapy practice in Santa Fe for 18 years, but haven't practiced since I left NM about ten years ago. I'm not licensed in Arizona, but can get away with it as long as I'm very careful about the words I use in my advertising. I'm going to ask my chiropractor if I can use his office in the evenings, for money, of course. It's a lovely office--and there's not much counseling available in this town, except through county mental health, and they, uh, rhymes with muck. Among other things I used to do was grief counseling!

So I have a kind of plan, and will meet with the chiropractor tomorrow to explore possibilities. Everyone around here hates County Mental Health, so I would call myself "The Counseling Alternative"!

So my brain has been turning, in spite of all the loss.

Much love to everyone--

Margi and SpiritWolf

Here's the poem I read at Ladywolf's gravesite--thought you all might appreciate it:

Everyone suddenly burst out singing
And I was filled with such delight
As prisoned birds must find in freedom
Winging wildly across the white
Orchards and dark green fields...on...and on...and out of sight.

Everyone's voice was suddenly lifted
And beauty came like the setting sun;
My heart was shaken with tears; and horror
Drifted away...o, but everyone
Was a bird, and the song was suddenly wordless;
The singing will never be done.

Margi and Spiritwolf

Margi, just wanted to let you know I am thinking of you.

Sonya

What a beautiful poem Margi.

Hi, Margi, what a wonderful poem, and I love Ladywolf's new signature "Spiritwolf". I hope life is treating you kindly today, my friend.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Ladywolf and Sweet Pea--

I still can't believe that you went out on the same day. It's only been five days now, and I love and miss you both, so much! The neighborhood is empty without you, as if my house. Sleep peacefully, my loves...

Margi

Margi, that's a beautiful poem. I'm going off to work now but thought I'd check in. I hope you have a good day. I'm taking in a deep breath and taking my first step out.
-Donna

Good luck "out there" today, Donna.

I woke up feeling utterly wretched. Lonely, broke, and filled with despair. NOT a nice feeling...

Margi and Spiritwolf

Doin' a little better now. Just had lunch with two friends who also have huge problems, so that got off me the pity pot for awhile...

Margi and Spiritwolf

I know the feeling. Last unemployment deposit for me today and no job in sight. I hope the Senate passes the extension and that thing pick up around here. Even though you were anticipating losing Ladywolf you got some hope for a repreive with the insulin but it did not last long. I know this must be so hard right now.

Hi Margi,

Glad you are doing at bit better at this moment. It's good to get out there and try to do some "normal" things to try and take your mind off things. I was just wondering, have you got anymore pictures of Ladywolf to post here? Think I have seen one or two but would love to see more. When you are feeling upto it of course. She's such a beauty!

Take care of yourself,
Cheryl X