you are very fortunate loci! another girl. how wonderful! well, i bet cleo was wagging hundreds of smiles when she heard the news. your love for cleo is palpable; it comes right thru my screen and i can touch it. but if i can, so can cleo. it will take a while for you to feel better again. after all its only two months; so very recent. grieving takes time. we go thru the shock of it all, the sadness, the anger, the sadness again and then just when we think im ok now, the reality sets in and the tears start all over again. but thats ok. take your time. the sad part is that there is nothing we can do to help speed up the process. like you said the ache grabs a hold of us and theres no letting go. something i did, when i began to feel stronger was to start a little memory book with pictures, his toys, his needles (he was a diabetic) just little things that reminded me of my best friend. it wasnt easy because i would take one look at a picture and my day was shot but in the end, i had a physical part of him with me. it sits on a shelf and i can look at it now and smile (really. that time will come) yes sometimes the smile is combined with tears but its a smile nevertheless. maybe thats something that you can do. with these little actions what starts happening is that we are able to continue grieving but at the same time remind ourselves of the wonderful happy times we had with them. and these memories are like bandages and slowly but surely you begin to layer them over the big gaping wound that shattered your heart. the more you layer these "bandages" the more the tears will begin to lessen and the smiles take over. you know, i dont know if our sadness ever truly goes away but at the same time, i think im glad it doesnt. because it is a gentle reminder of our wonderful friends and how much they meant in our lives. it reminds us to be gentler kinder people and isnt that a wonderful thing? when i read how thankful you are to have had her in your life, i smiled and i know that cleo did too. isnt that what its all about? how wonderful that in OUR short lives, we got to experience a love that is so pure and a never ending joy that only our furbabies can give us. in your life you are blessed to have known and loved cleo.
praying for peace in your heart.
patricia

Thanks Dennis. You are so very right. When I try to explain my feelings for Cleo and I get emotional, my friends and family cannot begin to understand why I haven't moved on yet. It's so difficult, isn't it? I am so sorry to hear that you had to put your Kota down on May 7th. 17 years with a trusted friend is such a blessing, but such a loss all the same. I am so sorry for your incredible loss. I am sure, just like all others here, that Kota was extremely special to you!!!!!

Christine

thank you Patricia. My husband and I actually joked that Cleo, although so patient and kind, would have put up with another baby in the house, but she sure missed the attention she got when she was our one and only for so long. We talk about her all the time and my husband can smile through the stories, while I just lose it EVERY TIME. Maybe it's the pregnancy and the hormones, but it is just so hard for me to envision a life without Cleo. I am so excited for our new arrival, yet at the same time, devastated not to be able to share it with Cleo. Especially when she helped me through the tough nights with my first child. She was always there for me.

I love that you have all those memories of your baby and keep them close to you. I have picture books, videos and even kept one toy out of hers. I do admit that there are pictures or videos that make me smile and laugh. And in fact, I posted one here right after she passed and when I look at it, it makes me happy to see her so happy and healthy. She was so sick the last 3 months before she passed that I had almost forgotten how she looked when she did the many, many things she loved. It definitely warms my heart and I just hope that she is just as happy and carefree.

Thank you for your posts Patricia. They truly help me put things in perspective sometimes when all I do is blow my emotions out of proportion.

My dearest Cleo,
I missed you this last weekend. We went to the mountains and my heart broke when I saw all of the dogs swimming in Lake Dillon. Oh how I missed watching you do one of your favorite activities of all time. Do you remember how Papa and I used to call you our little "tug boat' because of the cute little sounds you'd make bringing your floatie back to us? Do you remember how you would ONLY get your floatie and if another dog took it from you, you would just sit patiently and look at us for help......you were too sweet and kind to take matter into your own paws. You were such a sweetheart. I'm been trying to be good to myself but as your two month anniversary is approaching, I started to reminisce about that awful last day.....I keep envisioning you collapsing and me yelling for help and just shaking, seeing you dying in front of me. I knew inside you wouldn't be coming home and it just kills me. I have avoided that day and tried to focus on your beautiful life and the all the wonderful things you brought me....all the smiles and laughter and warmth to my heart. I need to re-focus my thoughts once again to those wonderful times.

As I type, Izzy ran to get me tissues because she's watching me cry as I type. She misses you too. Last week, out of the blue, she said to Papa "Daddy, I miss Cleo". Then she ran over to your headstone in our garden and ran her hand over it. So touching, but you probably already knew that.

We all miss you dearly Cleo. We all love you. We think about you often. Today I ache for you and miss you more than ever.

Love,
Momma

It's been 2 months since you left us Cleo. I hurt more than ever. Ever since we moved into our new home, there aren't any traces of you, meaning none of your hair to clean up since you used to shed so much. Your hair used to be everywhere!!! Interestingly enough, today of all days, I was getting dressed and found a hair of yours on my top. A reminder perhaps? I love you and I miss you dearly!

Hi Loci--

I was just thinking of you and wondering how you are doing in your new house without all that dog fur? It must be pretty strange for you.

I'm not in a new house, I'm in the same old house, and today it feels very empty indeed. It's only been three weeks for me since Ladywolf passed, and it's hitting me harder today than any day other than the one after she died.

So I'm wondering how things are going for you these days?

Much love from Margi and Spiritwolf

Margi,
It sounds like we're in the same boat. I too was thinking of you and how you're handling things. For me, it's a day to day struggle. My most recent upset was cleaning out our new basement and coming across some of Cleo's old toys! I was just devastated. I could just see her tossing her toys up in the air and rough housing, yet in such a gentle way. We always joked that Cleo really took good care of her toys. She would play with them rough enough not to destroy them completely. That dog was just too cute.

Sorry your home feels so empty. I think the initial shock of loss is always difficult, but as the days and weeks pass, it seems to get even more trying when you really focused on remembering the things they did, the things they loved to do, and just seeing them everywhere you go. Especially in the house. It's funny, although Cleo never lived in our new house, we still joke and imagine where she would lay (usually next to the bathroom watching me get ready), or keeping an eye out for "Papa" on Saturdays when he'd get her riled up for swimming. And to think that you have reference for Ladywolf all throughout your house......it just makes my heart break. I see pics of our old house and it just screams CLEO!

I hope things get better. I really have tried to smile and laugh when I see her pictures and videos, although tears proceed every time. I still ache terribly. I am sure you do to. Much love and many hugs!

Dear Cleo,
I still think about you every single day. I am reminded of the beauty and wonderment you brought into my life. While others seem to happily look back on fond memories, I still cry every time I think of you, see your picture or watch a video with you in it. Everyone keeps telling me that it's just harder on me because of the pregnancy hormones, but I say bull! Maybe I wouldn't be as outwardly emotional if it weren't for the pregnancy, but the very same feelings of loving and missing you would be ever so present pregnant or not.

I just wanted you to know how much I love and care for you and OOOOOH how much I still miss you!

All my love,
Momma

Loci, I can identify with so much of your story. I too believe that animals can experience love. In fact, I think they can teach us a lot about love.

Since my cat died, I've thought a lot about something my parish priest wrote shortly before his own death. He wrote "What we do for ourselves dies with us. What we do for others is eternal."

That's a comforting thought to me. I like to think that it means that the relationships that we share with our pets transcend time and transcend death.

Kurt,
I truly believe that as well. I have to believe that Cleo came into my life for a reason and the connection I shared with her was not merely just an earthly connection, but one that goes beyond time and space. How lucky have we been in this life to have shared such a love with an animal. A love that most people would laugh at or think is crazy. And to those people, I feel sorry that they never get to experience such a bond.

Well said. I couldn't agree more.

Sending you big hugs, Cheryl x

Loci,

I totally relate to what you said about how people have fond memories but your memories make you cry. Right now, I just feel like memories are a one-dimensional diary of losses we have to live with. Like you, each place I go to, brings back the memories, I try to think how much my Kota loved the places we visited, but then I have to hang my head and cry, because her physical presence is no longer here. I can only imagine how much you miss Cleo when the waves of sadness break upon you. I appreciate your honesty. Peace to you.

Dennis

My dearest Cleo,
Today is the anniversary of your passing......three months have gone by. I am still beside myself with grief. I just try to divert my thoughts throughout each day, but it's hard not to think about someone you love and miss so much. I try to think of all the wonderful things you've brought into my life and all the reasons I miss you so and place those thoughts as my main focus. But today, it's hard not think about the disease that took you away from me and the anguish of seeing you fail so suddenly and making that dreadful decision of letting you move on.

I wonder sometimes why I haven't moved on as much as I should have at this point. I have had dogs in the past growing up and while I grieved their passing, I have never had a connection to an animal like I did with you. I miss your sweet face, your touch, your snuggles, your wet nose, your howling, your spirit, your energy, your kindness, your trust, your loyalty and your love.

I think about you often, but you probably already know that. Life is not the same without you here.

All my love!

Loci,
I'm sitting here reading your post and tears are streaming down my face! I'm faced with the decision of putting my beloved cat Husker to sleep today. He has been battling an unexpected illness and the dr recommended that we put him to sleep this morning. How do you decide if what your doing is the right thing? And how do you move on?? I'm an absolute mess right now...any advice would be much appreciated

Maranda

Aww, Miranda, I'm so sorry for what you are facing right now. This is absolutely one of the most painful decisions that you will ever have to make...

Try to let your heart guide you to the right choice and the right timing. If you let your mind take over, you will probably go a little (or a lot) crazy. Let Husker's comfort level guide you too. This is last ultimate sacrifice that we have to make for our pets, and it is an unbelievably painful one. But remember that we have been there all along to take care of our beloved fur-kids, and that we do have the power to end their pain when the time is as close to right as it can be. There is no "perfect" decision--it will hurt no matter what and when you do it. I have no particular sage words of advice--each of us has to make that decision for ourselves and for our beloveds.

I am so sorry that you are having to deal with the probable loss of Husker (what a great name too, by the way...) How old is he? I'm sure that he's lived a very happy life, and that you have loved him very much, and he you. The love will never die, even if the body does. He will be with you always, in your experience and in your memories. We never really "lose" our pets--they will always be part of us. The grieving process is very very difficult, but it will eventually soften and become not so painful anymore, hard as that may be to believe at the moment.

Please keep visiting us and posting. This forum is filled with wonderful, wise, compassionate people, all of whom have had to go through what you are enduring now. I couldn't have survived the loss of both my dog Poppers, six months ago, and my wolf-hybrid, Ladywolf, six weeks ago, without this Forum.

Just trust your heart, and you will do the right thing, I am sure. And try not to second-guess yourself after you've made a decision, if you possibly can. There's no easy way for our pets to pass, but there often is a way to make sure that they don't suffer needlessly...

My heart goes out to you in this awful time--

Big hugs from Margi, Spiritwolf, and Sir Leopold (my new Bengal kitten!)

P.S. I encourage you to start a thread of your own, so everyone can know your story...

Margi,
thank you so much for responding. Husker is a little over 3 years old. I feel like I haven't had enough time with him yet...He is so special to me and my boyfriend. He has the best personality and he has definitely brought us alot of laughter. and I'm very sorry to hear about Ladywolf and Poppers....losing these furbabies is almost unbearable. All i can do is hope that we're doing the right thing for Husker and wait for the day when we can see him again...

Hello Maranda,
I am so sorry to hear about your beloved cat Husker. The truth in the matter is that it is never easy coming to grips with the decision of having to let our pets go, especially in the case of an unexpected illness. I knew that Cleo was sick about 3 months prior to her passing, but I never knew the extent of how bad she really was. I thought we had her disease under control and like with everything she went through in her life, I believed that she would pull through with the care we offered her. We literally did everything in our power to save her. My husband and I always knew that we'd have to make the fateful decision "one day" to have to put her down, but never did we expect to have to make that decision on her 9th birthday of all days. I thought she had 3-4 more years with us, so it was just so sudden to me.

When I look back though, I do realize how sick she really was and after reading more about her IMHA, I also realized that she lived so much longer than most dogs do with the disease. When I really think about that, I know that when the doctor said that she was failing and that we'd have to make the decision, although it killed me, it was her time to go. Although I saw Cleo 2 hours before her blood transfusion, I knew she wouldn't make it. I said my goodbyes and I just couldn't bring myself to go and put her down with my husband (I am also pregnant and was TOTALLY hysterical, so I just couldn't go but at least I said goodbye to her). My husband told her how much we loved and cared for her.....and well....a lot more things that would make me cry here at work, but with that said that Cleo gave him the "sign" that she was ready to go. I know that a lot of pet owners say this, but I do believe our animals are not scared of death like we are as humans. They tell us when it's time to move on and I think they know that we will be reunited again one day.

The decision is so hard, but you are doing what is best for Husker, although it's not, of course, what you want at all. Allow yourself to grieve and miss your precious cat. There is no time frame of when things get easier as it's different for everyone. However, although I miss Cleo as I would miss my own child, I do have a feeling that I WILL see her again. That keeps me going and helps me with each day. I feel like she's watching over me and I talk to her ALL the time.

I really hope you find peace with your decision. The best thing you can do is know that you gave your baby the BEST life and that passing is just temporary. As we continue on with our lives, we have to think about the opportunity that we will have to reunite with our beloveds.

Please keep me (us) posted on your decision and your progress. I will be thinking of you!!!
-Christine

My dearest Cleo,
I had a rough weekend. We found a lost yellow lab and we watched him until we got a hold of the owners. Papa had to open your box to get your leash out. It made me tear up so much. I then went to the basement and I saw your box of things sitting out. I know I shouldn't have opened it. Besides having your collar sitting next to your picture in our bedroom, I have not pulled out your stuff since you passed. Today I saw it all. It really shook me to my core. I saw all your toys, your bowls, your leashes, your floaties......it was a whole box of you and I just LOST it. God, I miss you so much.

My dearest Cleo,
It's been 4 months. I cannot even believe it. Both Papa and I have had extremely vivid dreams about you in the last couple of days. Coincidence? Our dreams involved seeing you and loving you to pieces......being able to pet you and tell you what a wonderful dog you were. Oh what a cruel reality it was to wake up and realize I can't hold you in my arms anymore. I still have a "Cleo" moment EVERY single day. Some days are harder than others, but in the end the message is the same.......I miss you more than anything!

I love you so much,
Momma

Has it been four months already, Loci? I can't believe it either--it seems like you just lost Cleo last week! It was good to hear from you, good to know that you are doing okay. I hope that you are slowly healing; it sounds as if you are..

Yes, I know, I miss Ladywolf every single day too. It's the hardest thing there is. I have been at peace about her passing, but I still miss her terribly.

Take good care of yourself, please, and keep posting!

Hugs from Margi and the gang!

Hi Margi,
I can hardly believe it too. Some days it feels like yesterday that this all happened and other days it feels like I haven't seen her for an eternity. Most days I am at peace with what happened, but there are some days when an article will come out regarding the onset of IMHA and I feel immediate and tremendous guilt that I was somehow responsible for her disease since no one could tell us how she go it.......was it the several times I gave her a lick off my plate and she ate those onions that caused the onset of this disease? You know, irrational thinking. I think overall it's helped adjusting to life in a different house since her passing, although next weekend we are going to our old neighbor's house for a party. Seeing our old house reminds me of one thing............Cleo. It was her house. In fact, we moved to the "burbs" to get a house just for her so she'd have a back yard. THAT will be so difficult. I really cannot believe the grief I deal with when it comes to Cleo. But all I can attribute it to is the fact that she was my child and I miss her companionship and love so much! She was truly a blessed animal in my life and for that I am so thankful.

Sounds like you too are doing well with Ladywolf's passing, but like me, it's still a daily struggle when a memory pops into your head. I hope for yours and my sake, that those memories are only the best ones and ones that bring tears of joy because we cherished their time here on earth.

Just having a hard night tonight for some reason. I try so hard to push my thoughts aside when it comes to Cleo to protect myself from breaking down, but tonight, I am thinking about just having her here next to me......me petting her and how she used to feel in my arms. God I miss her!

Dear Christine
I am so sorry that you are having such a bad time and that you are hurting so much. I totally understand what you say. Four months for me was particularly bad. I missed(still do) Noushka like mad and just felt so lost without her. I didn't seem to be moving on at all, sometimes. Some days would be not too bad and I could think of her and smile, others I just cried when I thought of her. One day while surfing the net for Samoyeds, just anything to do with Samoyeds, I saw Pixie's face staring back at me. She was taken from the pound and rescued from Euthanasia by a no kill centre, thank goodness for those good people at the centre, and centres like them. Well you may remember our story, we rescued Pixie... very mixed feelings at the time, but I felt that Noushka and Tasha and our Angels had sent her to us.... lots of reasons why I thought that. As I've said in my thread, we saved each other I believe. She has given me purpose again, and proved that although our beloved pets can never be replaced, we can love and be loved again, in a different way of course, but still in a good way.
I know this isn't right for everyone, but for me, and my family, rescuing Pixie was the best thing that we could have done, for all concerned. I just wanted to let you know that life can be good again, never quite the same of course, but loving and caring and nursing and being loved back so unconditionally by our fur babies, must have a positive effect on our 'life'. I know it's still very painfull for you, as it was for me at the four month stage, and even now at one year, but please try and look after yourself , as your darling Cleo would want her mummy to.

This week it's one year since I lost my Noushka, and I have been having some very bad days, but I try and pick myself up and say, she wants me to go on with life and be happy, she's watching over me and it would make her sad to see how much I am still hurting.
Your darling Cleo will be watching over you, Christine. She is always with you. Close your eyes and her dear face will come to you, and try to feel the warmth that she is sending to you.
Thinking of you and sending hugs.
Jan and my Angels and Pixie xx

Jan,
Thank you SO much for your response. It means so much to me......you have no idea.

I don't know if it's the fact that a new baby is arriving soon and being that Cleo was such an integral part of my first pregnancy, but it's just been really, really hard lately. I have been really upset that Cleo was taken from us so soon and so angry about the whole situation. She easily had 4-5 more years with us. I cannot even fathom getting another dog yet. Every time I think of it (and I do know that NO dog will replace Cleo), I still feel this pain of thinking of taking another dog for a walk, or swimming, buying dog treats, or even taking the dog to the vet.....all I end up thinking is.....it's just not my Cleo. I know one day my husband and I will be ready. I guess I am just not there yet.......I still feel an incredible loss of a "child" of sorts and I think it may be around a year or two before I can get back to a place to open my home again to another dog. I love dogs. I have grown up with them all my life, but for some reason, Cleo was just a little more than just a dog to me (as you very well know). It will take time for me to get to a place where I can finally move on and always hold a special place in my heart for Cleo, but also be ready to rescue another dog.

I really do hope that Cleo is out there watching over me because God only knows how much I need her and miss everything about her.

Hi Christine,

I think the reason it's so difficult for you, with the baby coming, is because you feel like you're starting a new Chapter in your life and you're devasted that Cleo isn't here to share it with you. I've kind of been going through the same thing -- I haven't got a baby on the way, but there's lot's of changes going on in my life at the moment -- starting University, a new job etc, and I was only thinking the other day, how sad it is that Daisy isn't here to start this new Chapter with me. It almost feels like I'm leaving her behind, and it hurts like hell. I think we just have to try to take them with us, in our thoughts and in our hearts, that way they'll always be present. But I know what you mean about missing them so, so much

Take care, Cheryl xx

Loci,

I just completed reading your posts. I am so sorry. I, too, keep going up and down with this grief. I miss my buddy, Little Bit, something terrible. I lost him last Thursday (which means he was here a week ago today, which makes me sad) when he got hit by a car in front of me when he was running to me. (The driver never even stopped).

There is a severe storm brewing outside and I always had to go scoop Little Bit up when it started raining and make sure he was safe from the rain. But, in a way it is a blessing from God because this is the time that it happened last Thursday and at least the outside doesn't look the same as it did "that day."

I enjoy your love letters to Cleo. I write to Little Bit also. But, like you, I would rather hug and kiss them.

And, I know that people at work and a couple of my friends (even though they don't say it), probably think I should be getting over Little Bit by now, or at least I should be starting to "get better." I have no interests in anything that I use to.

One thing that I read last night during my devotions, when I thought I was "doing better" was Matthew 10:29: When birds are sold, two small birds cost only a penny. But not even one of those little birds can die without your Father knowing it.

Even though I would rather have Little Bit back, or I wish I would have NOT called him to me, for a brief moment that verse made me feel a little better.

Cleo is awesome looking, by the way...

Cheryl, You are SO so very right. There has been a lot of changes in our lives lately. We moved into a new house a week after we put Cleo down. We had to adjust to a new home. Then there is the adjustment of starting my 3 year old in preschool and her adjusting her to the new house as well. To top it off, we are adding to our family here in the next month and a half and things will change even more so. It's all been one big adjustment for sure. Knowing that Cleo is not a part of any of it does truly hurt like hell. I had envisioned my children playing with her and loving her as part of the family. I do plan on taking Cleo on my journey and definitely keeping her memory alive by talking to my children about her and how truly blessed we were to have her in our lives. It's just overly emotional for me right now. I like to blame it on the hormones, but when I still see my husband break, I know that she was just a very special part of our lives and we feel like a part of our lives is definitely missing.

Oh my! What a devestating way to lose your baby. I am SO incredibly sorry for your loss. I thought Cleo's loss was so sudden, but I couldn't even begin to imagine what you had to go through. I really hope that you find some peace in the upcoming weeks and months. It will take time to move on. As you can see, it's been over 4 months and sometimes I feel like I grieve for her more now than ever before. It's a process for sure. No one should be expected to move on so quickly and easily. It's impossible when you loved your pet so dearly and as I have stated MANY times, some people just don't have a connection to their pets that others (like us) do and it's hard for them to understand why moving on is so hard for you.

My way of dealing with it is personally and without any one around. I cry it out in my car on the way home from work, or in the shower. Just so I can have my "time" with Cleo. But if someone brings her up, I literally LOSE it. Especially if my husband will bring her up. I can't handle the hurt of missing her quite yet. I (and you) will get there though,.,..

My dearest Cleo,
I woke up from a dead sleep this morning to what I thought was the sound of you licking your paws like you used to do every morning. Although I think about you every day, this was the first time in months that I actually thought you were still here and I had to shake myself into the horrible reality that you are in fact gone. As soon as I came to, I also made the realization that today marks the 5 month anniversary of your passing. So weird and coincidental?!?!?!?!? In 4 weeks, baby Annie should be here and I still feel this big void missing from our lives. Everyone keeps saying that our family just needs to get another dog, but I am still not there yet.......I still have the mentality that the void is YOU and cannot be filled yet by another dog, but I know that will come in time. I miss you dearly as tears stream down my face. You hold such a dear place in my heart where you will always stay. I am missing and loving you as always.

Thank you so much for that beautiful poem. It was very touching!!!!

Dear Cleo,
Annie is almost here......3 more weeks to go. The family is getting very excited for the new addition. Yet, it is getting close to your 6 month anniversary too and I am definitely feeling a lot of grief (hence the song) of missing you and selfishness of wanting you here next to me. Days are getting better when I distract myself and I surely have a lot to distract myself with these days. But every thought and mention on you, I crack. I miss everything about you and sometimes I am afraid that I cannot remember what you feel like anymore.....how you used to sleep next to me......how you used to wake me up.....how we used to play together and go on your daily walks.....or the simple hugs, cuddles and kisses I would get from you, especially when I needed them most. I have been forced to adjust to an empty life when it comes to having a dog, but not just any dog.....I have had to adjust to life without YOU. I truly do love and miss you and always keep hope that one day, I will see you again.

Love,
Momma


It was only one hour ago
It was all so different then
There's nothing yet has really sunk in
Looks like it always did
This flesh and bone
It's just the way that you would tied in
Now there's no-one home

I grieve for you
You leave me
'so hard to move on
Still loving what's gone
They say life carries on
Carries on and on and on and on

The news that truly shocks is the empty empty page
While the final rattle rocks it's empty empty cage
And i can't handle this

I grieve for you
You leave me
Let it out and move on
Missing what's gone
They say life carries on
They say life carries on and on and on

Did I dream this belief?
Or did i believe this dream?
Now i can find relief
I grieve

~Peter Gabriel

My dearest Cleo,
Today marks one of the most difficult days.......your 6 month anniversary. 6 months ago, we not only celebrated your birth, but we also mourned your death. It has been such a difficult journey in dealing with your sudden passing, dealing with the fact that your time on earth cut too short and trying to move on from losing you. However, your memory is with me ALWAYS. I never thought in a million years that I could be so close to an animal as if you were my child. You have been through so much with me and I miss the strength you gave me and the happiness you brought to me EVERY DAY. I am keeping this short as I am sitting here with tears streaming down my face and I wish, more than anything, that I could hold you right now.

I miss and love you now, more than ever!

Hi Christine,

My heart just goes out to you! I, too, am approaching the dreaded "6 months" mark and it's tough. The thought that I've lived without my baby for half a year seems insane. I still remember holding her, the feel of her, the smell of her... as if I were only doing it yesterday. I know life isn't the same. We just have to try and hold onto the memories. I hope things start to get better for you, and I hope you find some peace in your heart soon. I hope we all do.

Thinking of you. Cheryl xx

Hi, Christine, the anniversaries can be a real challenge to endure. They are just one more reminder that our precious companions are not physically with us - - and this hurts - - physically and emotionally. Sometimes it can feel like the physical separation is more painful that what our hearts can bear.

Christine, I wish there were some words I could say that would take this sorrow out of your heart, but unfortnately there are no adequate words that I know of that would do this. The only thing I can offer you is my sincerest friendship and the reassurance that you are not alone - - each of us are here with you - - beside you - - sharing your journey. And hopefully in some way this will bring a comfort to your heart.

Christine, please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and will look forward to knowing how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Dear Christine

I can remember how bad I felt at 6 months and so I can relate to your sadness and tears. I do hope that soon the 'Happy' memories will help to release you from the pain. Your precious Angel Cleo will want the best for her Mum, she will want you to be able to enjoy and look forward to all the exciting things that are happening any time now.

Please let us know how you are and of course I wish you well for the birth of little Annie..... it must be almost time now.
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your dear family.

Love and hugs

Jan and my Angels and Pixie ***

Ladies, I cannot thank you enough for your love, support and kind words. You have NO idea how much it means to me......to be able to struggle with someone else who understands the pain, and getting reassurance that even though the pain is real, there is hope that one day we will be reunited with our beloved pets. It shines light on such darkness and misery of missing someone so much. I thank you again!!!!

My dearest Cleo,
Annie is finally here. She's a great baby and looks just like Isabel. The hardest thing for me is when the entire family is in bed on Saturday mornings and you are missing at the foot of our bed. While we're elated with our girls, we still feel that we're missing one more. We miss you so much. We had our first snow the other day. Izzy was concerned that your headstone in the backyard was being covered with snow, but I reassured her that the one thing that you loved most in this world was snow. I recall how excited you got with the season's first snow fall every year......this year it was a hard day indeed.

Just wanted to let you know that I was thinking of you, as always.

Congratulations on the birth of Annie, that is great news. I know it must be hard not to have Izzy there with you to share in the joy of the new addition to the family, but she is looking down at your family. Someday I am sure you will share wonderful stories about Cleo with your new daughter. Take care.

CONGRATULATIONS!!! Hope you and baby are doing well.

And you can rest assured, and feel peace in knowing, that little Annie has a guardian angel watching over her at all times. Her big sis, Cleo xx

Thank you for the congrats. Annie is a wonderful baby and we are truly blessed with two beautiful, healthy girls. Just when we feel a incredible loss in our family, we are blessed with an incredible gift. I truly believe that Cleo is a guardian angel. She always did watch over me here on earth, so I believe she is still with us in spirit. I do miss her incredibly and still feel this void in my heart, but I know my love for Cleo will always be true and I am thankful for being able to have that love in my life, no matter how short lived, from my beautiful dog.

Well my dearest Cleo, it's been a year. A year without you.....a year with a huge hole in my heart. I haven't come here in awhile, mainly because I tried to re-focus myself and try to get through the holidays realizing that you are no longer with us. I tried to move on, so to speak, in trying to combat my own personal loss with having to be a wife and a mother to two. While so much blessing has been bestowed upon our family, we cannot help but feel this empty space in our family without you here. We spent the day sharing stories and watching videos of you......one especially made in your honor after you passed. It was so incredibly hard to watch especially when you were taken from us too early in your life. I miss you so much. In some ways, this year has flown so quickly and it only seems like yesterday that you left us. And in other ways, I feel like you've been gone for so long. I had so much guilt the other day thinking back when you were so sick and how much time and effort I put into getting you healthy again, but despite my efforts, it didn't work and the night when you passed, I couldn't even go and say good-bye in person because i was so distraught. You depended on me and I was supposed to be there for you, as you have been there for me all of your life. I am still ashamed and hurt and I constantly wonder if you knew that I wasn't there. I miss you so incredibly. No other will ever compare to you. No other will ever share the bond that you and I had. I treasure that bond more than you know, especially in my most stressful times. You always knew how to comfort me and be beside me. Oh, how I miss your cuddles.

You are so dearly loved and so dearly missed.

Hi, Loci, thank you so much for sharing your Cleo's "angel-versary" with us. These times can be very painful emotionally as we remember that our beloved companions are no longer with us.

Loci, even though you were not "physically" present when your precious Cleo journeyed to the angels, she could feel your loving spirit with her reaching out to her - - for she was in your heart and thoughts - - and she understands why you couldn't be there. Rest assured that your precious Cleo is looking at you from heaven's perfect garden with a heart overflowing with love for you. Nothing will ever change that, Loci, for love is eternal and is not restricted to the physical laws of time and space.

The sorrow in our hearts does not disappear just because a year of "adjustment" has occurred. There is always an "empty" place in our hearts because our beloved companions take a part of us with them - - a part of us that belongs only to them - - so that they can have a part of us with them until it is our appropriate time to join them in eternal joy. As we continue in our earthly journey the pain eases just a little bit more, but it just takes time for the loneliness and the emptiness to ease. But do not be afraid, Loci - - for even though the loneliness and emptiness and sorrow ease, our beloved companions are forever with us in our hearts and memories - - they are always a heartbeat close to us. Regardless of how much time may pass, nothing can ever take away or diminish our memories or this eternal love bond.

Loci, thank you again so much for sharing your and your precious Cleo's "angel-versary" with us. Please know you are not alone - - ever - - regardless of how much time may pass. We are here for you, Loci. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Loci, and look forward to knowing how you're doing whenever possible.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Hi Christine,

I, too, would like to thank you for sharing your precious Cleo's one-year angelversary. I could so relate to your note, as May 20th will mark one year for me. I found myself nodding my head to a lot of what you said -- especially about it feeling like soooo long ago in one sense, and then on another it feeling absolutely crazy and unreal that we've lived a whole year of lives without them.

I feel the guilt, too. I was not there for my Daisy when she passed, as she passed during surgery. But it's tormented me that I couldn't take her the vets because I was too much of an emotional wreck. My fiance took her, but it was me who she always used to turn to for comfort. I thought she was coming back. I never said goodbye. We can drive ourselves crazy thinking about these things, or we can let go and forgive ourselves because we know deep down in our hearts that we loved them with all of our being; and that whatever we did do, or whatever we couldn't do, was only because of this deep love. Our furbabies know this, too. They are in a better place, happy and free from pain. The only thing that bothers them is the fact that we are not happy, too. We really have to try and let go of the guilt, because they wouldn't want us to feel that way.

And .... yes, the hole in the heart is still there for me, too. Sometimes it still feels so raw. We just have to do our best to fill that hole with memories of our furbabies, and with the intense love for them that we still hold, and will forever hold. As moon_beam said, they are forever with us in our hearts and memories until it's our appropriate time to be reunited with them.

Christine, I hope you find some comfort in this. Please know that you, the new baby, and the rest of your family, are in my thoughts and prayers. I hope you return and keep us updated on how you're getting on.

Sending you hugs and well wishes -- Cheryl xx