Full Version: I Lost My Best Friend Bun-bun..
A few days ago we returned home after a few days to fine our family pet cat Bun-Bun having trouble breathing, we took her to the vet and quickly he said to put her down because of heart and lung problems. This pet was a family member for 17 yrs, a witness to the growth and development of our family, a family member who was alway there, always gave love alway sat quiet aside as we went on our daily duty's but was always there. I sweet face cat with a heart of gold. She touched our family so deeply and as left a hole in our lives. We regret doing what we did, maybe there was another way, maybe it was her time, maybe it did not have to happen. The entire family has been crying for 4 days, none of us can eat or sleep, or work, or go to school or work. We cant get over this. Maybe we made a mistake. I cant forgive myself for doing this to a family member. This was not our first pet or have we not been threw this type of thing before, it just happen so fast that I regret not giving it more time to develop. Our other pets all crying as much as the people in the family are. I cant bare to think of this as a mistake. I have tried to seek help for grief counseling but have not been able to find any.I am so pissed off at the vet and myself for jumping the gun. I don't know what to do..I failed my family. SOB why wasn't I given more time to think about this. Why can I have that day to do over ?
Please do not allow regrets to overwhelm you. I am sure you made the right decision. We listen to our vets because they have the medical knowledge of what is going on.
I lost my 16 1/2 year old boy, Little Guy, (my avatar picture) in the ER...when he couldn't breathe. We make that decision because we know they are suffering and we never want that. Never. A sweetheart at that age can have so much going on and things can happen so fast. I lost my boy's twin brother at age 10 with breathing problems happening and losing him within a week. Things can happen inside these little bodies so darned (wanted to use a stronger word) fast, we can only do the best we can at the time. Read my topic if you want to see what I mean about fast and devastating.
I will never forget that last day and how he came to us for help. I read later the horrible things he would have to go through to be able to breathe again....and the result would be very temporary..and so hysterical as I was...all I could think about was he was not to suffer.
Why weren't you given more time to think about it? Because a breathing problem is always an extreme emergency. It helps me to accept that when it is their time to leave us, there will be no cure, no answer, no help for them...it will be out of our control to stop it. If it is not their time, there will be the medical advice to help and it will help. You did not fail anyone. A power greater than any we know decided it was time and we have no say.
There are two sayings I have read from Pet Parents here that have helped me:
1. The pain of losing her will never ever be greater than the joy of knowing her.
2. I have sent you on a journey to a land free from pain, not because I did not love you but because I loved you too much to force you to stay.
I cannot say it better than what these parents said. It is true. My boy was immediately put in an oxygen tent but he was in big trouble. His chest filled with fluid although there was none there a week earlier. I read later on the Internet that to drain that fluid from an animal ...there would be help needed to hold them down cause the pain was that severe...and the fluid could come back at anytime.
I know 17 years is a major part of your life (as my boy was mine). I have to remember there WERE those years of health and happiness and love that I would never trade anything for.
You were wonderful to your girl for those years...she knew she was loved and she loved you all back. Of course, your other pets are grieving...they feel your hurt. And, unfortunately, it takes time for that horrible pain of missing them to become bearable.
But you did the best you were allowed to do at the time. I am sure you saved her from a lot of suffering. I asked my vet what would have happened had my boy not crawled to us and we ran to the ER...and her answer was...he would have suffocated to death. I would never ever want to think I allowed that to happen by trying to keep him with me when I knew there was no cure.
Sometimes I think these sweethearts develop symptoms as bad as these...cause fate or whatever..wants to be sure we can't help them with something as severe as this. It is the cruel part of life that I will never understand and will always hate. But it is there.
You mention grief counseling. What I did was a few days later I called the vet's office and told them to ask her to give me a call when she had a few minutes as I wanted to talk to her about my boy. She did call later that day and answered all my questions, spoke to me at least 1/2 hour, and said although she was not allowed to say so at the time, if he had been her kitty, she would have made the same decision. She was the one who examined him and gave him oxygen and saw his condition, and told me she was very glad I was able to make the decision because for him it was the right one. He could not be cured. That was my grief counseling that helped me. I just simply said to her that I know in the ER I was hysterical inside and crying so hard making that decision, I could not think about anything else except I didn't want him to suffer.
That's why I was calling her because now that I was calmer....I did need to reassure myself about what had happened and I needed the reassurance there truly was no alternative that would cure my boy. Maybe you might think of calling your vet and asking any questions that it might help you to know. The vet at the ER had not seen my boy before but she immediately gave him oxygen and took an x-ray and said she asked the opinion of the other vets there about the x-ray showing the fluid that was keeping his lungs from expanding to breathe and they all truly felt it was due to cancer and then she came in and showed us the x-ray.
Please do not feel you made a mistake. I don't know a vet who would be anxious to end a life if there was an answer to truly save it without suffering. But it might help you to let your vet know you are so devastated that it would help if he could answer some questions for you about your girl's condition, etc. I wrote my questions down before I called so I didn't forget anything.
Come here and write anytime. Part of healing involves venting, crying, writing or saying your thoughts and feelings. The pain never goes away completely because these best friends were a part of our lives and their memories never go away and when we miss them...the pain starts and many times so do the tears. It is so rotten to lose them...we could just scream...but then we are not in control and are unable to keep the diseases away that takes them away.
They will always be with us because they are really a part of our hearts and our memories and that cannot be taken away from us. We just have to hug each other harder and cry when we need to, and our other pets.....hug them more too and let them know they are cared about.
In time, as we settle down..they will too. They always just know, don't them? ...when we are upset (of course, sometimes the tears give us away).
Hugs to you and your family and your other best friends...and especially to Bun-bun. Her body can be taken but her soul and her spirit will never leave any of you. She is still "family" and always will be.
Judy
Take it one day at a time. I wish you peace and healing but it does take time to become bearable.
I lost my 16 1/2 year old boy, Little Guy, (my avatar picture) in the ER...when he couldn't breathe. We make that decision because we know they are suffering and we never want that. Never. A sweetheart at that age can have so much going on and things can happen so fast. I lost my boy's twin brother at age 10 with breathing problems happening and losing him within a week. Things can happen inside these little bodies so darned (wanted to use a stronger word) fast, we can only do the best we can at the time. Read my topic if you want to see what I mean about fast and devastating.
I will never forget that last day and how he came to us for help. I read later the horrible things he would have to go through to be able to breathe again....and the result would be very temporary..and so hysterical as I was...all I could think about was he was not to suffer.
Why weren't you given more time to think about it? Because a breathing problem is always an extreme emergency. It helps me to accept that when it is their time to leave us, there will be no cure, no answer, no help for them...it will be out of our control to stop it. If it is not their time, there will be the medical advice to help and it will help. You did not fail anyone. A power greater than any we know decided it was time and we have no say.
There are two sayings I have read from Pet Parents here that have helped me:
1. The pain of losing her will never ever be greater than the joy of knowing her.
2. I have sent you on a journey to a land free from pain, not because I did not love you but because I loved you too much to force you to stay.
I cannot say it better than what these parents said. It is true. My boy was immediately put in an oxygen tent but he was in big trouble. His chest filled with fluid although there was none there a week earlier. I read later on the Internet that to drain that fluid from an animal ...there would be help needed to hold them down cause the pain was that severe...and the fluid could come back at anytime.
I know 17 years is a major part of your life (as my boy was mine). I have to remember there WERE those years of health and happiness and love that I would never trade anything for.
You were wonderful to your girl for those years...she knew she was loved and she loved you all back. Of course, your other pets are grieving...they feel your hurt. And, unfortunately, it takes time for that horrible pain of missing them to become bearable.
But you did the best you were allowed to do at the time. I am sure you saved her from a lot of suffering. I asked my vet what would have happened had my boy not crawled to us and we ran to the ER...and her answer was...he would have suffocated to death. I would never ever want to think I allowed that to happen by trying to keep him with me when I knew there was no cure.
Sometimes I think these sweethearts develop symptoms as bad as these...cause fate or whatever..wants to be sure we can't help them with something as severe as this. It is the cruel part of life that I will never understand and will always hate. But it is there.
You mention grief counseling. What I did was a few days later I called the vet's office and told them to ask her to give me a call when she had a few minutes as I wanted to talk to her about my boy. She did call later that day and answered all my questions, spoke to me at least 1/2 hour, and said although she was not allowed to say so at the time, if he had been her kitty, she would have made the same decision. She was the one who examined him and gave him oxygen and saw his condition, and told me she was very glad I was able to make the decision because for him it was the right one. He could not be cured. That was my grief counseling that helped me. I just simply said to her that I know in the ER I was hysterical inside and crying so hard making that decision, I could not think about anything else except I didn't want him to suffer.
That's why I was calling her because now that I was calmer....I did need to reassure myself about what had happened and I needed the reassurance there truly was no alternative that would cure my boy. Maybe you might think of calling your vet and asking any questions that it might help you to know. The vet at the ER had not seen my boy before but she immediately gave him oxygen and took an x-ray and said she asked the opinion of the other vets there about the x-ray showing the fluid that was keeping his lungs from expanding to breathe and they all truly felt it was due to cancer and then she came in and showed us the x-ray.
Please do not feel you made a mistake. I don't know a vet who would be anxious to end a life if there was an answer to truly save it without suffering. But it might help you to let your vet know you are so devastated that it would help if he could answer some questions for you about your girl's condition, etc. I wrote my questions down before I called so I didn't forget anything.
Come here and write anytime. Part of healing involves venting, crying, writing or saying your thoughts and feelings. The pain never goes away completely because these best friends were a part of our lives and their memories never go away and when we miss them...the pain starts and many times so do the tears. It is so rotten to lose them...we could just scream...but then we are not in control and are unable to keep the diseases away that takes them away.
They will always be with us because they are really a part of our hearts and our memories and that cannot be taken away from us. We just have to hug each other harder and cry when we need to, and our other pets.....hug them more too and let them know they are cared about.
In time, as we settle down..they will too. They always just know, don't them? ...when we are upset (of course, sometimes the tears give us away).
Hugs to you and your family and your other best friends...and especially to Bun-bun. Her body can be taken but her soul and her spirit will never leave any of you. She is still "family" and always will be.
Judy
Take it one day at a time. I wish you peace and healing but it does take time to become bearable.
Dear George,
I know the questions you are going through in your mind, I think probably everyone here does. I see the pain in your words. The "what-if's" in the beginning are terrible. It's so hard to feel so helpless in that situation. I lost my cat Ren in August to heart disease (cardiomyopathy).
All I can tell you is that my Ren in end-state heart disease was on every heart med he could take, had his chest tapped the night before (they remove fluid from the lungs), and I STILL couldn't save him. I imagine your Bun-bun must have been in the end-state of heart disease, and that is why the vet made that call. The end stage of heart disease is pretty awful to watch. The vet must have made that call because he didn't want your dear Bun-bun to go through that. What you could do is call your vet and talk to them about Bun-bun, and ask him about his heart and why he made that call, ect. That might give some peace to you and your family. I know it's so hard to understand why things like this happen. We want with all our hearts and souls to have saved them, and yet still we lose them. They are so precious to us.
Just know your dear Bun-bun felt so very lucky to have such a loving family, and is still with you always. She will now watch over you and your family.
Hugs,
Ren, Zorro, and Nemo's Mom
I know the questions you are going through in your mind, I think probably everyone here does. I see the pain in your words. The "what-if's" in the beginning are terrible. It's so hard to feel so helpless in that situation. I lost my cat Ren in August to heart disease (cardiomyopathy).
All I can tell you is that my Ren in end-state heart disease was on every heart med he could take, had his chest tapped the night before (they remove fluid from the lungs), and I STILL couldn't save him. I imagine your Bun-bun must have been in the end-state of heart disease, and that is why the vet made that call. The end stage of heart disease is pretty awful to watch. The vet must have made that call because he didn't want your dear Bun-bun to go through that. What you could do is call your vet and talk to them about Bun-bun, and ask him about his heart and why he made that call, ect. That might give some peace to you and your family. I know it's so hard to understand why things like this happen. We want with all our hearts and souls to have saved them, and yet still we lose them. They are so precious to us.
Just know your dear Bun-bun felt so very lucky to have such a loving family, and is still with you always. She will now watch over you and your family.
Hugs,
Ren, Zorro, and Nemo's Mom
QUOTE (Love Them @ Feb 13 2009, 04:28 PM) 
Please do not allow regrets to overwhelm you. I am sure you made the right decision. We listen to our vets because they have the medical knowledge of what is going on.
I lost my 16 1/2 year old boy, Little Guy, (my avatar picture) in the ER...when he couldn't breathe. We make that decision because we know they are suffering and we never want that. Never. A sweetheart at that age can have so much going on and things can happen so fast. I lost my boy's twin brother at age 10 with breathing problems happening and losing him within a week. Things can happen inside these little bodies so darned (wanted to use a stronger word) fast, we can only do the best we can at the time. Read my topic if you want to see what I mean about fast and devastating.
I will never forget that last day and how he came to us for help. I read later the horrible things he would have to go through to be able to breathe again....and the result would be very temporary..and so hysterical as I was...all I could think about was he was not to suffer.
Why weren't you given more time to think about it? Because a breathing problem is always an extreme emergency. It helps me to accept that when it is their time to leave us, there will be no cure, no answer, no help for them...it will be out of our control to stop it. If it is not their time, there will be the medical advice to help and it will help. You did not fail anyone. A power greater than any we know decided it was time and we have no say.
There are two sayings I have read from Pet Parents here that have helped me:
1. The pain of losing her will never ever be greater than the joy of knowing her.
2. I have sent you on a journey to a land free from pain, not because I did not love you but because I loved you too much to force you to stay.
I cannot say it better than what these parents said. It is true. My boy was immediately put in an oxygen tent but he was in big trouble. His chest filled with fluid although there was none there a week earlier. I read later on the Internet that to drain that fluid from an animal ...there would be help needed to hold them down cause the pain was that severe...and the fluid could come back at anytime.
I know 17 years is a major part of your life (as my boy was mine). I have to remember there WERE those years of health and happiness and love that I would never trade anything for.
You were wonderful to your girl for those years...she knew she was loved and she loved you all back. Of course, your other pets are grieving...they feel your hurt. And, unfortunately, it takes time for that horrible pain of missing them to become bearable.
But you did the best you were allowed to do at the time. I am sure you saved her from a lot of suffering. I asked my vet what would have happened had my boy not crawled to us and we ran to the ER...and her answer was...he would have suffocated to death. I would never ever want to think I allowed that to happen by trying to keep him with me when I knew there was no cure.
Sometimes I think these sweethearts develop symptoms as bad as these...cause fate or whatever..wants to be sure we can't help them with something as severe as this. It is the cruel part of life that I will never understand and will always hate. But it is there.
You mention grief counseling. What I did was a few days later I called the vet's office and told them to ask her to give me a call when she had a few minutes as I wanted to talk to her about my boy. She did call later that day and answered all my questions, spoke to me at least 1/2 hour, and said although she was not allowed to say so at the time, if he had been her kitty, she would have made the same decision. She was the one who examined him and gave him oxygen and saw his condition, and told me she was very glad I was able to make the decision because for him it was the right one. He could not be cured. That was my grief counseling that helped me. I just simply said to her that I know in the ER I was hysterical inside and crying so hard making that decision, I could not think about anything else except I didn't want him to suffer.
That's why I was calling her because now that I was calmer....I did need to reassure myself about what had happened and I needed the reassurance there truly was no alternative that would cure my boy. Maybe you might think of calling your vet and asking any questions that it might help you to know. The vet at the ER had not seen my boy before but she immediately gave him oxygen and took an x-ray and said she asked the opinion of the other vets there about the x-ray showing the fluid that was keeping his lungs from expanding to breathe and they all truly felt it was due to cancer and then she came in and showed us the x-ray.
Please do not feel you made a mistake. I don't know a vet who would be anxious to end a life if there was an answer to truly save it without suffering. But it might help you to let your vet know you are so devastated that it would help if he could answer some questions for you about your girl's condition, etc. I wrote my questions down before I called so I didn't forget anything.
Come here and write anytime. Part of healing involves venting, crying, writing or saying your thoughts and feelings. The pain never goes away completely because these best friends were a part of our lives and their memories never go away and when we miss them...the pain starts and many times so do the tears. It is so rotten to lose them...we could just scream...but then we are not in control and are unable to keep the diseases away that takes them away.
They will always be with us because they are really a part of our hearts and our memories and that cannot be taken away from us. We just have to hug each other harder and cry when we need to, and our other pets.....hug them more too and let them know they are cared about.
In time, as we settle down..they will too. They always just know, don't them? ...when we are upset (of course, sometimes the tears give us away).
Hugs to you and your family and your other best friends...and especially to Bun-bun. Her body can be taken but her soul and her spirit will never leave any of you. She is still "family" and always will be.
Judy
Take it one day at a time. I wish you peace and healing but it does take time to become bearable.
I lost my 16 1/2 year old boy, Little Guy, (my avatar picture) in the ER...when he couldn't breathe. We make that decision because we know they are suffering and we never want that. Never. A sweetheart at that age can have so much going on and things can happen so fast. I lost my boy's twin brother at age 10 with breathing problems happening and losing him within a week. Things can happen inside these little bodies so darned (wanted to use a stronger word) fast, we can only do the best we can at the time. Read my topic if you want to see what I mean about fast and devastating.
I will never forget that last day and how he came to us for help. I read later the horrible things he would have to go through to be able to breathe again....and the result would be very temporary..and so hysterical as I was...all I could think about was he was not to suffer.
Why weren't you given more time to think about it? Because a breathing problem is always an extreme emergency. It helps me to accept that when it is their time to leave us, there will be no cure, no answer, no help for them...it will be out of our control to stop it. If it is not their time, there will be the medical advice to help and it will help. You did not fail anyone. A power greater than any we know decided it was time and we have no say.
There are two sayings I have read from Pet Parents here that have helped me:
1. The pain of losing her will never ever be greater than the joy of knowing her.
2. I have sent you on a journey to a land free from pain, not because I did not love you but because I loved you too much to force you to stay.
I cannot say it better than what these parents said. It is true. My boy was immediately put in an oxygen tent but he was in big trouble. His chest filled with fluid although there was none there a week earlier. I read later on the Internet that to drain that fluid from an animal ...there would be help needed to hold them down cause the pain was that severe...and the fluid could come back at anytime.
I know 17 years is a major part of your life (as my boy was mine). I have to remember there WERE those years of health and happiness and love that I would never trade anything for.
You were wonderful to your girl for those years...she knew she was loved and she loved you all back. Of course, your other pets are grieving...they feel your hurt. And, unfortunately, it takes time for that horrible pain of missing them to become bearable.
But you did the best you were allowed to do at the time. I am sure you saved her from a lot of suffering. I asked my vet what would have happened had my boy not crawled to us and we ran to the ER...and her answer was...he would have suffocated to death. I would never ever want to think I allowed that to happen by trying to keep him with me when I knew there was no cure.
Sometimes I think these sweethearts develop symptoms as bad as these...cause fate or whatever..wants to be sure we can't help them with something as severe as this. It is the cruel part of life that I will never understand and will always hate. But it is there.
You mention grief counseling. What I did was a few days later I called the vet's office and told them to ask her to give me a call when she had a few minutes as I wanted to talk to her about my boy. She did call later that day and answered all my questions, spoke to me at least 1/2 hour, and said although she was not allowed to say so at the time, if he had been her kitty, she would have made the same decision. She was the one who examined him and gave him oxygen and saw his condition, and told me she was very glad I was able to make the decision because for him it was the right one. He could not be cured. That was my grief counseling that helped me. I just simply said to her that I know in the ER I was hysterical inside and crying so hard making that decision, I could not think about anything else except I didn't want him to suffer.
That's why I was calling her because now that I was calmer....I did need to reassure myself about what had happened and I needed the reassurance there truly was no alternative that would cure my boy. Maybe you might think of calling your vet and asking any questions that it might help you to know. The vet at the ER had not seen my boy before but she immediately gave him oxygen and took an x-ray and said she asked the opinion of the other vets there about the x-ray showing the fluid that was keeping his lungs from expanding to breathe and they all truly felt it was due to cancer and then she came in and showed us the x-ray.
Please do not feel you made a mistake. I don't know a vet who would be anxious to end a life if there was an answer to truly save it without suffering. But it might help you to let your vet know you are so devastated that it would help if he could answer some questions for you about your girl's condition, etc. I wrote my questions down before I called so I didn't forget anything.
Come here and write anytime. Part of healing involves venting, crying, writing or saying your thoughts and feelings. The pain never goes away completely because these best friends were a part of our lives and their memories never go away and when we miss them...the pain starts and many times so do the tears. It is so rotten to lose them...we could just scream...but then we are not in control and are unable to keep the diseases away that takes them away.
They will always be with us because they are really a part of our hearts and our memories and that cannot be taken away from us. We just have to hug each other harder and cry when we need to, and our other pets.....hug them more too and let them know they are cared about.
In time, as we settle down..they will too. They always just know, don't them? ...when we are upset (of course, sometimes the tears give us away).
Hugs to you and your family and your other best friends...and especially to Bun-bun. Her body can be taken but her soul and her spirit will never leave any of you. She is still "family" and always will be.
Judy
Take it one day at a time. I wish you peace and healing but it does take time to become bearable.
Thank you very much Judy for you heart filled advice. I am going to call the vet and maybe put some of my pain to rest. I must accept this and press on . I will think of her always and be glad for all the love she gave us. We have lost pets in the past but none this fast and really without any time to think about it. We had a Boston terrier with brain cancer and put her threw a load of x-rays,cat scans, Mri's and only to lose her in the end. She suffered at the end. I did not want to do that again. With bun-Bun the vet did say even with all the tests and stuff it very rarely turns out good. I was listening but it was so much to compute with her laying there looking at me with her trustful eyes. She trusted me right to the end. I hope I made the right decision.. Thank you for all your help and understanding , Bun-Bun would love you to..... God bless you
QUOTE (Nemo's Mommy @ Feb 13 2009, 04:29 PM)
Dear George,
I know the questions you are going through in your mind, I think probably everyone here does. I see the pain in your words. The "what-ifs" in the beginning are terrible. It's so hard to feel so helpless in that situation. I lost my cat Ren in August to heart disease (cardiomyopathy).
All I can tell you is that my Ren in end-state heart disease was on every heart med he could take, had his chest tapped the night before (they remove fluid from the lungs), and I STILL couldn't save him. I imagine your Bun-bun must have been in the end-state of heart disease, and that is why the vet made that call. The end stage of heart disease is pretty awful to watch. The vet must have made that call because he didn't want your dear Bun-bun to go through that. What you could do is call your vet and talk to them about Bun-bun, and ask him about his heart and why he made that call, ect. That might give some peace to you and your family. I know it's so hard to understand why things like this happen. We want with all our hearts and souls to have saved them, and yet still we lose them. They are so precious to us.
Just know your dear Bun-bun felt so very lucky to have such a loving family, and is still with you always. She will now watch over you and your family.
Hugs,
Ren, Zorro, and Nemo'sifs Mom
Thank you Ren,Zorro and Nemo"s Mon.
I really know in my heart that the vet made the right call. I just wish I had a little more time, just a little more time. Your story about heart disease was comforting. I am glad someone understands the urgency of this problem.
I have seen people close to me pass away, many pets to. but with pets your in control of the outcome of the health problem, they look at you with trust in there eyes and you make decisions like this. You hope you made the right one. I guess the older I get and the more decision's like this I make the less confidence I am in them. I don't know, anyway it seems to get harder every time I have to say "let her go". I am tiered of losing my loved ones. Both people and pets. I just wish I had a little more time.This must be what happens when you get old..
I miss my Bun-Bun
. I guess in time it will get better but I am thankful I have friends like you to share my grief with... Thanks you, God bless you..
I know the questions you are going through in your mind, I think probably everyone here does. I see the pain in your words. The "what-ifs" in the beginning are terrible. It's so hard to feel so helpless in that situation. I lost my cat Ren in August to heart disease (cardiomyopathy).
All I can tell you is that my Ren in end-state heart disease was on every heart med he could take, had his chest tapped the night before (they remove fluid from the lungs), and I STILL couldn't save him. I imagine your Bun-bun must have been in the end-state of heart disease, and that is why the vet made that call. The end stage of heart disease is pretty awful to watch. The vet must have made that call because he didn't want your dear Bun-bun to go through that. What you could do is call your vet and talk to them about Bun-bun, and ask him about his heart and why he made that call, ect. That might give some peace to you and your family. I know it's so hard to understand why things like this happen. We want with all our hearts and souls to have saved them, and yet still we lose them. They are so precious to us.
Just know your dear Bun-bun felt so very lucky to have such a loving family, and is still with you always. She will now watch over you and your family.
Hugs,
Ren, Zorro, and Nemo'sifs Mom
Thank you Ren,Zorro and Nemo"s Mon.
I really know in my heart that the vet made the right call. I just wish I had a little more time, just a little more time. Your story about heart disease was comforting. I am glad someone understands the urgency of this problem.
I have seen people close to me pass away, many pets to. but with pets your in control of the outcome of the health problem, they look at you with trust in there eyes and you make decisions like this. You hope you made the right one. I guess the older I get and the more decision's like this I make the less confidence I am in them. I don't know, anyway it seems to get harder every time I have to say "let her go". I am tiered of losing my loved ones. Both people and pets. I just wish I had a little more time.This must be what happens when you get old..
I miss my Bun-Bun
. I guess in time it will get better but I am thankful I have friends like you to share my grief with... Thanks you, God bless you..
Please remember that a fear of suffocation is a primal fear common to all things that breathe.
Suffering aside, imagine Bun-Bun's fear and terror. Seventeen years is a good life, and while we wish thye could stay forever, it was a good QUALITY life for as long as it was.
You did right.
Suffering aside, imagine Bun-Bun's fear and terror. Seventeen years is a good life, and while we wish thye could stay forever, it was a good QUALITY life for as long as it was.
You did right.
QUOTE (Jon730 @ Feb 13 2009, 07:50 PM)
Please remember that a fear of suffocation is a primal fear common to all things that breathe.
Suffering aside, imagine Bun-Bun's fear and terror. Seventeen years is a good life, and while we wish thye could stay forever, it was a good QUALITY life for as long as it was.
You did right.
Suffering aside, imagine Bun-Bun's fear and terror. Seventeen years is a good life, and while we wish thye could stay forever, it was a good QUALITY life for as long as it was.
You did right.
Yes I think so. thank you very much. It's hard to bring these feelings of regret to terms. She was a family member. I miss her so.. God bless
QUOTE (george @ Feb 13 2009, 03:01 PM)
A few days ago we returned home after a few days to fine our family pet cat Bun-Bun having trouble breathing, we took her to the vet and quickly he said to put her down because of heart and lung problems. This pet was a family member for 17 yrs, a witness to the growth and development of our family, a family member who was alway there, always gave love alway sat quiet aside as we went on our daily duty's but was always there. I sweet face cat with a heart of gold. She touched our family so deeply and as left a hole in our lives. We regret doing what we did, maybe there was another way, maybe it was her time, maybe it did not have to happen. The entire family has been crying for 4 days, none of us can eat or sleep, or work, or go to school or work. We cant get over this. Maybe we made a mistake. I cant forgive myself for doing this to a family member. This was not our first pet or have we not been threw this type of thing before, it just happen so fast that I regret not giving it more time to develop. Our other pets all crying as much as the people in the family are. I cant bare to think of this as a mistake. I have tried to seek help for grief counseling but have not been able to find any.I am so pissed off at the vet and myself for jumping the gun. I don't know what to do..I failed my family. SOB why wasn't I given more time to think about this. Why can I have that day to do over ?
T
QUOTE (george @ Feb 13 2009, 03:01 PM)
A few days ago we returned home after a few days to fine our family pet cat Bun-Bun having trouble breathing, we took her to the vet and quickly he said to put her down because of heart and lung problems. This pet was a family member for 17 yrs, a witness to the growth and development of our family, a family member who was alway there, always gave love alway sat quiet aside as we went on our daily duty's but was always there. I sweet face cat with a heart of gold. She touched our family so deeply and as left a hole in our lives. We regret doing what we did, maybe there was another way, maybe it was her time, maybe it did not have to happen. The entire family has been crying for 4 days, none of us can eat or sleep, or work, or go to school or work. We cant get over this. Maybe we made a mistake. I cant forgive myself for doing this to a family member. This was not our first pet or have we not been threw this type of thing before, it just happen so fast that I regret not giving it more time to develop. Our other pets all crying as much as the people in the family are. I cant bare to think of this as a mistake. I have tried to seek help for grief counseling but have not been able to find any.I am so pissed off at the vet and myself for jumping the gun. I don't know what to do..I failed my family. SOB why wasn't I given more time to think about this. Why can I have that day to do over ?
What precious pictures of Bun Bun. Look at the love in her eye's.
Wow 17 years--you must have so many wonderful memories, pictures, funtimes. No one can take that from you.
What you did was to give her a gift. The Gift of not having to suffer! I am sure she is grateful for that.
It takes a true caring person to make that decision!! I know it is hard to think right now, but don't blame your self. (it was a decision made from the heart)
As another said come often. We are here to help one another. If not for this place L/S I don't know what I would have done or who I would have turned to. Hope we can be of some comfort to you.
Bet Bun Bun is having lots of fun at the Rainbow Bridge!!!
Hugs to you and your new Angel Bun Bun!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wow 17 years--you must have so many wonderful memories, pictures, funtimes. No one can take that from you.
What you did was to give her a gift. The Gift of not having to suffer! I am sure she is grateful for that.
It takes a true caring person to make that decision!! I know it is hard to think right now, but don't blame your self. (it was a decision made from the heart)
As another said come often. We are here to help one another. If not for this place L/S I don't know what I would have done or who I would have turned to. Hope we can be of some comfort to you.
Bet Bun Bun is having lots of fun at the Rainbow Bridge!!!
Hugs to you and your new Angel Bun Bun!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am so sorry for your loss of Bun Bun. I know the guilt you are feeling about letting her go so quickly. You have to remember the beautiful gift of love she gave your family for all those years. I lost my Arthur at only 2 1/2 yrs old. I totally wasn't prepared to put him down 24hrs after I left him at the vet. It seems from what I have read about others stories, breathing problems is a big huge concern. The vet called at 4am to tell us he was having trouble breathing and she felt it was best to put him down. I regret it each and every day still. I keep thinking I should have taken him elsewhere for a second opinion. But then I think of all the suffering he was dealing with and more if we prolonged it.
It's a head and heart battle for sure. It will take time and the day you think of Bun Bun with smiles instead of tears, then you will know you are healing from this loss. Hopefully it will not be a long journey for you. At 17, I think you did the right thing. Many years ago, my cat Whiskers became very ill. I selfishly held on to her and watched her suffer for 3 long months before she passed away in the house. Unable to eat, sleep, walk. I was young (yet old enough to know better) She was 18. I had her when I was 8. She was my sister. I vowed never to do that to another animal again.
When these beautiful, loving creatures touch our hearts, it doesn't matter how long we have to "think about IT", it's devestating either way. Time will heal your heart. It's the Rainbow's Bridge turn to have another beauty in it's fields. Bun Bun will forever remain in your hearts.. Hugs..Ann
It's a head and heart battle for sure. It will take time and the day you think of Bun Bun with smiles instead of tears, then you will know you are healing from this loss. Hopefully it will not be a long journey for you. At 17, I think you did the right thing. Many years ago, my cat Whiskers became very ill. I selfishly held on to her and watched her suffer for 3 long months before she passed away in the house. Unable to eat, sleep, walk. I was young (yet old enough to know better) She was 18. I had her when I was 8. She was my sister. I vowed never to do that to another animal again.
When these beautiful, loving creatures touch our hearts, it doesn't matter how long we have to "think about IT", it's devestating either way. Time will heal your heart. It's the Rainbow's Bridge turn to have another beauty in it's fields. Bun Bun will forever remain in your hearts.. Hugs..Ann
QUOTE (sissycat @ Feb 13 2009, 10:04 PM)
What precious pictures of Bun Bun. Look at the love in her eye's.
Wow 17 years--you must have so many wonderful memories, pictures, funtimes. No one can take that from you.
What you did was to give her a gift. The Gift of not having to suffer! I am sure she is grateful for that.
It takes a true caring person to make that decision!! I know it is hard to think right now, but don't blame your self. (it was a decision made from the heart)
As another said come often. We are here to help one another. If not for this place L/S I don't know what I would have done or who I would have turned to. Hope we can be of some comfort to you.
Bet Bun Bun is having lots of fun at the Rainbow Bridge!!!
Hugs to you and your new Angel Bun Bun!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wow 17 years--you must have so many wonderful memories, pictures, funtimes. No one can take that from you.
What you did was to give her a gift. The Gift of not having to suffer! I am sure she is grateful for that.
It takes a true caring person to make that decision!! I know it is hard to think right now, but don't blame your self. (it was a decision made from the heart)
As another said come often. We are here to help one another. If not for this place L/S I don't know what I would have done or who I would have turned to. Hope we can be of some comfort to you.
Bet Bun Bun is having lots of fun at the Rainbow Bridge!!!
Hugs to you and your new Angel Bun Bun!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
thank you, I know she was a good girl and did not need to suffer anymore. I just cant believe she's gone. She was my right hand, You don't pay attention to it but she was always there. I miss her.. I cant stand to go home it so empty with out her. I see her in all the places she hung out. I look and she not there. I know shes happy now. I just miss her.. Thank you.. God bless you..
QUOTE (sissycat @ Feb 13 2009, 10:04 PM)
What precious pictures of Bun Bun. Look at the love in her eye's.
Wow 17 years--you must have so many wonderful memories, pictures, funtimes. No one can take that from you.
What you did was to give her a gift. The Gift of not having to suffer! I am sure she is grateful for that.
It takes a true caring person to make that decision!! I know it is hard to think right now, but don't blame your self. (it was a decision made from the heart)
As another said come often. We are here to help one another. If not for this place L/S I don't know what I would have done or who I would have turned to. Hope we can be of some comfort to you.
Bet Bun Bun is having lots of fun at the Rainbow Bridge!!!
Hugs to you and your new Angel Bun Bun!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wow 17 years--you must have so many wonderful memories, pictures, funtimes. No one can take that from you.
What you did was to give her a gift. The Gift of not having to suffer! I am sure she is grateful for that.
It takes a true caring person to make that decision!! I know it is hard to think right now, but don't blame your self. (it was a decision made from the heart)
As another said come often. We are here to help one another. If not for this place L/S I don't know what I would have done or who I would have turned to. Hope we can be of some comfort to you.
Bet Bun Bun is having lots of fun at the Rainbow Bridge!!!
Hugs to you and your new Angel Bun Bun!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thank you for your kind words, they are very comforting. Bun-Bun was the kind of friend that was always there, she stood quietly and watched over what was ever going on. She was always there. I miss here... I hope she forgives me.. I love her..I miss her. If I only had that day to do over.. Thank you... god bless you..
Oh of course Bun Bun forgives you. Bet she is Thanking you!!!
You have to remember humans can sign papers saying they don't want to prolong their suffering, but animals have no say unless we do it for them. Trade places and I bet she would have done the same for you!!!!! Bun Bun loves you so very much.
I too can remember not wanting to come home everyday. I would go to work, the store, just anywhere so I wouldn't be home. I would be ok till I turned the corner and could see my home, then it would hit again. I can promise you it will get better. I too can remember being told those words. It is hard to believe it right now as it is still so fresh for you. It has been about 8 months for me. I am not completely healed. (don't know if we ever are) But I can function once again. Her pictures are everywhere. She is my background on my phone so I see her everyday. I still have her 2 sisters and mother to take care of and I brought a new furbaby in a couple months ago.
Sending you many hugs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You have to remember humans can sign papers saying they don't want to prolong their suffering, but animals have no say unless we do it for them. Trade places and I bet she would have done the same for you!!!!! Bun Bun loves you so very much.
I too can remember not wanting to come home everyday. I would go to work, the store, just anywhere so I wouldn't be home. I would be ok till I turned the corner and could see my home, then it would hit again. I can promise you it will get better. I too can remember being told those words. It is hard to believe it right now as it is still so fresh for you. It has been about 8 months for me. I am not completely healed. (don't know if we ever are) But I can function once again. Her pictures are everywhere. She is my background on my phone so I see her everyday. I still have her 2 sisters and mother to take care of and I brought a new furbaby in a couple months ago.
Sending you many hugs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
QUOTE (sissycat @ Feb 14 2009, 10:28 AM)
Oh of course Bun Bun forgives you. Bet she is Thanking you!!!
You have to remember humans can sign papers saying they don't want to prolong their suffering, but animals have no say unless we do it for them. Trade places and I bet she would have done the same for you!!!!! Bun Bun loves you so very much.
I too can remember not wanting to come home everyday. I would go to work, the store, just anywhere so I wouldn't be home. I would be ok till I turned the corner and could see my home, then it would hit again. I can promise you it will get better. I too can remember being told those words. It is hard to believe it right now as it is still so fresh for you. It has been about 8 months for me. I am not completely healed. (don't know if we ever are) But I can function once again. Her pictures are everywhere. She is my background on my phone so I see her everyday. I still have her 2 sisters and mother to take care of and I brought a new furbaby in a couple months ago.
Sending you many hugs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You have to remember humans can sign papers saying they don't want to prolong their suffering, but animals have no say unless we do it for them. Trade places and I bet she would have done the same for you!!!!! Bun Bun loves you so very much.
I too can remember not wanting to come home everyday. I would go to work, the store, just anywhere so I wouldn't be home. I would be ok till I turned the corner and could see my home, then it would hit again. I can promise you it will get better. I too can remember being told those words. It is hard to believe it right now as it is still so fresh for you. It has been about 8 months for me. I am not completely healed. (don't know if we ever are) But I can function once again. Her pictures are everywhere. She is my background on my phone so I see her everyday. I still have her 2 sisters and mother to take care of and I brought a new furbaby in a couple months ago.
Sending you many hugs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thank you very much. I never felt this way before. I am tossing it around in my head all day, day after day. I think I'm crazy. I am slowly convincing my self that it was the right thing to do but I cant get her face out of my head, her trusting eyes, she trusted me so. I cant help feel I betrayed her trust. Maybe it was to soon, maybe something else could have been done. I feel like crap. This is horrible. I cant wait till tomorrow , maybe it's going to go away then. I hate my house ,I never want to go back there. Work, I cant even think of that now. I went to church and prayed for her. I just cant get her face out of my mind.. I'm so sorry Bun-Bun.. I know this sounds crazy, this is new to be. There must be something wrong with me.. This cant be right..The remorse is unbelievable. I thank you very much for your kind words and I guess we all go threw this but I am struggling with this trust issue. I can believe I am acting like this. It's way out of line for me. I really appreciate your understanding, it's helps tremendously. I am constantly checking my e-mails to see if someone else went threw this type of agony before. I'm sorry if I sound like a nut. She was a family member , and I have to deal with this my own way. I love her, I miss her. I'm sorry Bun-Bun..
QUOTE (george @ Feb 14 2009, 11:32 AM)
Thank you very much. I never felt this way before. I am tossing it around in my head all day, day after day. I think I'm crazy. I am slowly convincing my self that it was the right thing to do but I cant get her face out of my head, her trusting eyes, she trusted me so. I cant help feel I betrayed her trust. Maybe it was to soon, maybe something else could have been done. I feel like crap. This is horrible. I cant wait till tomorrow , maybe it's going to go away then. I hate my house ,I never want to go back there. Work, I cant even think of that now. I went to church and prayed for her. I just cant get her face out of my mind.. I'm so sorry Bun-Bun.. I know this sounds crazy, this is new to be. There must be something wrong with me.. This cant be right..The remorse is unbelievable. I thank you very much for your kind words and I guess we all go threw this but I am struggling with this trust issue. I can believe I am acting like this. It's way out of line for me. I really appreciate your understanding, it's helps tremendously. I am constantly checking my e-mails to see if someone else went threw this type of agony before. I'm sorry if I sound like a nut. She was a family member , and I have to deal with this my own way. I love her, I miss her. I'm sorry Bun-Bun..
Thank you for sharing Bun-Bun's pictures....she is so very beautiful. I am glad you had this beautiful girl for the 17 years you did. We all know no time is long enough.
You are going through normal grieving and doubts and all the awful thoughts we torture ourselves with afterwards. After all we are talking about making a decision that is so final.
You talk about her trusting you and feeling you betrayed her trust. No way you did that. She trusted you to help her by doing what was needed to help her. You did that. You did that most unselfish act we can do for them....letting them go when every fiber of our being cries out to keep them longer...but then we would be doing that for us...when it may be not the best for them.
All this you are going through....many have gone through the same things...that is all a part of the overwhelming pain and grief that comes so quickly and we feel it will never stop. Of course you miss her....we all miss our special friends and we always will cause we love them so very much. Nothing can stop that love and the missing is the pain we feel. They will always be a part of everything for us and we will never forget them or stop thinking of them. That's why at first we really have to make the effort to get through it one day at a time and when we are sad, to force ourselves to remember a happy memory and in remembering....feel grateful we had that. Over time doing this...it becomes easier to forget the heart-wrenching sadness that consumes us. I find I can block out now the horrible memories of my boy's last day and all that happened. I can still cry missing him and I can look into his eyes in his pictures and cry (and just typing this brings tears) but what happened that last day was not a good day to remember how he was and how we were and in time....I cannot allow myself to dwell on those moments of decision.
It all takes time..it really does. We search everywhere for something to take away the pain but we know the only thing that would do that would be if our friend was still here but not in distress, and it feels so empty to realize that is not possible.
It is the cruel part of life we have to deal with as best we can. You are not alone in what you are feeling....we all have experienced such feelings. We know we just have to try to work through everything...one day at a time.
Disease can take the physical body but never the spirit and the soul and that's why Bun-bun will always be with you....she has her forever, pain-free home.....in your heart.
I am going to put a topic in the Cybershoulder section called "whatifs" about something I just read in the newspaper and it made me think of how often that thinking is used here when it involves life-threatening situations. Maybe reading it will help you.
We are here and listening, George. Come here and talk anytime. We all share the same pain and it helps to know we are not alone.
Take care. I wish you peace and healing but I know it takes time...it really does. You made the right decision for your girl. She knows how much you love her and her love matches yours. You gave her peace at a time the ugly side of life was affecting her quality of life.
Judy
There are many posts in the Section where members have gone through similar doubts and pain. I think if you start reading the stories here....you will understand why people here understand and can tell you....what you are feeling is truly normal. It really helps to realize just how much you are not alone.
You are going through normal grieving and doubts and all the awful thoughts we torture ourselves with afterwards. After all we are talking about making a decision that is so final.
You talk about her trusting you and feeling you betrayed her trust. No way you did that. She trusted you to help her by doing what was needed to help her. You did that. You did that most unselfish act we can do for them....letting them go when every fiber of our being cries out to keep them longer...but then we would be doing that for us...when it may be not the best for them.
All this you are going through....many have gone through the same things...that is all a part of the overwhelming pain and grief that comes so quickly and we feel it will never stop. Of course you miss her....we all miss our special friends and we always will cause we love them so very much. Nothing can stop that love and the missing is the pain we feel. They will always be a part of everything for us and we will never forget them or stop thinking of them. That's why at first we really have to make the effort to get through it one day at a time and when we are sad, to force ourselves to remember a happy memory and in remembering....feel grateful we had that. Over time doing this...it becomes easier to forget the heart-wrenching sadness that consumes us. I find I can block out now the horrible memories of my boy's last day and all that happened. I can still cry missing him and I can look into his eyes in his pictures and cry (and just typing this brings tears) but what happened that last day was not a good day to remember how he was and how we were and in time....I cannot allow myself to dwell on those moments of decision.
It all takes time..it really does. We search everywhere for something to take away the pain but we know the only thing that would do that would be if our friend was still here but not in distress, and it feels so empty to realize that is not possible.
It is the cruel part of life we have to deal with as best we can. You are not alone in what you are feeling....we all have experienced such feelings. We know we just have to try to work through everything...one day at a time.
Disease can take the physical body but never the spirit and the soul and that's why Bun-bun will always be with you....she has her forever, pain-free home.....in your heart.
I am going to put a topic in the Cybershoulder section called "whatifs" about something I just read in the newspaper and it made me think of how often that thinking is used here when it involves life-threatening situations. Maybe reading it will help you.
We are here and listening, George. Come here and talk anytime. We all share the same pain and it helps to know we are not alone.
Take care. I wish you peace and healing but I know it takes time...it really does. You made the right decision for your girl. She knows how much you love her and her love matches yours. You gave her peace at a time the ugly side of life was affecting her quality of life.
Judy
There are many posts in the Section where members have gone through similar doubts and pain. I think if you start reading the stories here....you will understand why people here understand and can tell you....what you are feeling is truly normal. It really helps to realize just how much you are not alone.
TRUST She DID trust you. That is why you made that decision for her.
Nothing here is crazy. That is what this site is all about. Anything you say or do we all understand. Anything goes here. Everything you are feeling is NORMAL to us.
One day at a time then it will be weeks, months, and years.
We are here for you.
Hugs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Nothing here is crazy. That is what this site is all about. Anything you say or do we all understand. Anything goes here. Everything you are feeling is NORMAL to us.
One day at a time then it will be weeks, months, and years.
We are here for you.
Hugs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
QUOTE (LoveThem @ Feb 14 2009, 01:22 PM)
Thank you for sharing Bun-Bun's pictures....she is so very beautiful. I am glad you had this beautiful girl for the 17 years you did. We all know no time is long enough.
You are going through normal grieving and doubts and all the awful thoughts we torture ourselves with afterwards. After all we are talking about making a decision that is so final.
You talk about her trusting you and feeling you betrayed her trust. No way you did that. She trusted you to help her by doing what was needed to help her. You did that. You did that most unselfish act we can do for them....letting them go when every fiber of our being cries out to keep them longer...but then we would be doing that for us...when it may be not the best for them.
All this you are going through....many have gone through the same things...that is all a part of the overwhelming pain and grief that comes so quickly and we feel it will never stop. Of course you miss her....we all miss our special friends and we always will cause we love them so very much. Nothing can stop that love and the missing is the pain we feel. They will always be a part of everything for us and we will never forget them or stop thinking of them. That's why at first we really have to make the effort to get through it one day at a time and when we are sad, to force ourselves to remember a happy memory and in remembering....feel grateful we had that. Over time doing this...it becomes easier to forget the heart-wrenching sadness that consumes us. I find I can block out now the horrible memories of my boy's last day and all that happened. I can still cry missing him and I can look into his eyes in his pictures and cry (and just typing this brings tears) but what happened that last day was not a good day to remember how he was and how we were and in time....I cannot allow myself to dwell on those moments of decision.
It all takes time..it really does. We search everywhere for something to take away the pain but we know the only thing that would do that would be if our friend was still here but not in distress, and it feels so empty to realize that is not possible.
It is the cruel part of life we have to deal with as best we can. You are not alone in what you are feeling....we all have experienced such feelings. We know we just have to try to work through everything...one day at a time.
Disease can take the physical body but never the spirit and the soul and that's why Bun-bun will always be with you....she has her forever, pain-free home.....in your heart.
I am going to put a topic in the Cybershoulder section called "whatifs" about something I just read in the newspaper and it made me think of how often that thinking is used here when it involves life-threatening situations. Maybe reading it will help you.
We are here and listening, George. Come here and talk anytime. We all share the same pain and it helps to know we are not alone.
Take care. I wish you peace and healing but I know it takes time...it really does. You made the right decision for your girl. She knows how much you love her and her love matches yours. You gave her peace at a time the ugly side of life was affecting her quality of life.
Judy
There are many posts in the Section where members have gone through similar doubts and pain. I think if you start reading the stories here....you will understand why people here understand and can tell you....what you are feeling is truly normal. It really helps to realize just how much you are not alone.
You are going through normal grieving and doubts and all the awful thoughts we torture ourselves with afterwards. After all we are talking about making a decision that is so final.
You talk about her trusting you and feeling you betrayed her trust. No way you did that. She trusted you to help her by doing what was needed to help her. You did that. You did that most unselfish act we can do for them....letting them go when every fiber of our being cries out to keep them longer...but then we would be doing that for us...when it may be not the best for them.
All this you are going through....many have gone through the same things...that is all a part of the overwhelming pain and grief that comes so quickly and we feel it will never stop. Of course you miss her....we all miss our special friends and we always will cause we love them so very much. Nothing can stop that love and the missing is the pain we feel. They will always be a part of everything for us and we will never forget them or stop thinking of them. That's why at first we really have to make the effort to get through it one day at a time and when we are sad, to force ourselves to remember a happy memory and in remembering....feel grateful we had that. Over time doing this...it becomes easier to forget the heart-wrenching sadness that consumes us. I find I can block out now the horrible memories of my boy's last day and all that happened. I can still cry missing him and I can look into his eyes in his pictures and cry (and just typing this brings tears) but what happened that last day was not a good day to remember how he was and how we were and in time....I cannot allow myself to dwell on those moments of decision.
It all takes time..it really does. We search everywhere for something to take away the pain but we know the only thing that would do that would be if our friend was still here but not in distress, and it feels so empty to realize that is not possible.
It is the cruel part of life we have to deal with as best we can. You are not alone in what you are feeling....we all have experienced such feelings. We know we just have to try to work through everything...one day at a time.
Disease can take the physical body but never the spirit and the soul and that's why Bun-bun will always be with you....she has her forever, pain-free home.....in your heart.
I am going to put a topic in the Cybershoulder section called "whatifs" about something I just read in the newspaper and it made me think of how often that thinking is used here when it involves life-threatening situations. Maybe reading it will help you.
We are here and listening, George. Come here and talk anytime. We all share the same pain and it helps to know we are not alone.
Take care. I wish you peace and healing but I know it takes time...it really does. You made the right decision for your girl. She knows how much you love her and her love matches yours. You gave her peace at a time the ugly side of life was affecting her quality of life.
Judy
There are many posts in the Section where members have gone through similar doubts and pain. I think if you start reading the stories here....you will understand why people here understand and can tell you....what you are feeling is truly normal. It really helps to realize just how much you are not alone.
Judy
Thank you for knowing how I feel. I know now how you felt when you lost your little boy.
The unconditional love she gave the family was the most beautiful thing we as a family ever had. My children are grown and out on there own now and we all are grieving the lost of a spirit of the family's unit that's gone now. somethings missing that was there a week ago. Poor Bun-Bun she's all alone, non of us can except that. Time I guess has to pass for us to get on with our life's, but there is a missing piece of the puzzle we call a family. I don't know why we all feel this way, it must be in the grand scheme of things for this to happen. regret is going to be with me for along time. I have to deal with this alone for the sack of the rest of our puzzle. I am very happy I found you guys to help me vent my feeling. It is a great comfort to my family and me. Judy, I hope you find peace as well without your little boy. I never thought of myself as a religious person but this has showed me there must be a bigger plan then what I can know and feel about. Poor Bun-Bun I cant redo what I did but there must have been a reason for what happen, I will always remember her pretty face and the love she showed us. I miss her deeply.
QUOTE (sissycat @ Feb 14 2009, 01:38 PM)
TRUST She DID trust you. That is why you made that decision for her.
Nothing here is crazy. That is what this site is all about. Anything you say or do we all understand. Anything goes here. Everything you are feeling is NORMAL to us.
One day at a time then it will be weeks, months, and years.
We are here for you.
Hugs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Nothing here is crazy. That is what this site is all about. Anything you say or do we all understand. Anything goes here. Everything you are feeling is NORMAL to us.
One day at a time then it will be weeks, months, and years.
We are here for you.
Hugs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thank you sissycat. It is hard to think of her all alone, and cold. She loved our bed. She was a good girl. I miss her.. Thank you for all your help. I an so glag I found some friends to help me threw this. It's hard. bless you
No way is she alone. She has all the other pets at the Rainbow Bridge and she still has you. Just because her body is not there doesn't mean she isn't there. She is always with you.
I am glad you have found this site too. If any of us can help even the least little bit it gives us all some comfort cause most of us have been exactly where you are now.
Who knows maybe you will receive a sign from her when you least expect it.
Hugs!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am glad you have found this site too. If any of us can help even the least little bit it gives us all some comfort cause most of us have been exactly where you are now.
Who knows maybe you will receive a sign from her when you least expect it.
Hugs!!!!!!!!!!!!
QUOTE (sissycat @ Feb 14 2009, 05:07 PM)
No way is she alone. She has all the other pets at the Rainbow Bridge and she still has you. Just because her body is not there doesn't mean she isn't there. She is always with you.
I am glad you have found this site too. If any of us can help even the least little bit it gives us all some comfort cause most of us have been exactly where you are now.
Who knows maybe you will receive a sign from her when you least expect it.
Hugs!!!!!!!!!!!!
o I am glad you have found this site too. If any of us can help even the least little bit it gives us all some comfort cause most of us have been exactly where you are now.
Who knows maybe you will receive a sign from her when you least expect it.
Hugs!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thank you. I hope so. Your kind words help me tremendously. It's hard to regain one sense of being, now that part of our family is gone. I hope it gets better with time. Bun-Bun was a loving member of our life's. I see others say the problems they had with loosing there loved ones and I suppose I will gain enough composer to move on but a hole is in all of our hearts with out our beloved Bun-Bun. she never hurt a soul, she was so sweet. I love her with the same love I have for any member of the family. A piece of me me died that day, I cant and will not ever forget the look in her trusting eyes. I love her. I miss her. Thank you for your help. I hope peace finds you as well. Bless you
I know that special love/bond you are talking of. When Sissycat passed on June 5, 2008 I cried and cried. My step-dad passed on June 25, 2008. I hardly shed a tear. I loved them both greatly, but I had something special with Sissycat. So yes we do feel that they are family members. We will always have that special place in our hearts for them. They are missed so very much!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hugs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hugs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
QUOTE (sissycat @ Feb 15 2009, 12:55 AM)
I know that special love/bond you are talking of. When Sissycat passed on June 5, 2008 I cried and cried. My step-dad passed on June 25, 2008. I hardly shed a tear. I loved them both greatly, but I had something special with Sissycat. So yes we do feel that they are family members. We will always have that special place in our hearts for them. They are missed so very much!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hugs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hugs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So sorry for your lost, I know what it's like. I wish you peace with yourself.
I just cant put this horrible feeling behind me. I cant get her sweet little face out of my mind. She trusted me so, and I let her down. there are many paths to heaven some essayer then others but why did I make this choice. I am having a real hard time dealing with my decision. I feel like I didn't make the right choice. I failed her when she put her whole life in to my hands. I keep calling her name, I keep looking for her in the spots she used to stay, I am having a real hard time with this. I'm no kid, I cant seem to put this down, I keep reliving that day over and over. There must be something wrong with me. I cant eat, I cant sleep, I cant function as a adult. This is crazy. I cant live with this regret. I don't know any more. This is horrible.. What I did was a betrayal of trust at the worse time. I Just cant get pass this. I see my Bun-Bun's face in everything I do. I'm so sorry. I cant see anyway to get by this. I love her so, I am so sorry Bun-Bun...Im so sorry...Please forgive me..
You can't get over it in just a few days. It will take some time. I hurts so bad! I have done all the things you speak of. If you were to go back and read all my old posts. I asked the same questions. I thought I was crazy, but no we are not!!
Everything you feel is part of this awful healing process. I blamed myself for her death. (it was an accident with a car) We can't let it eat away at us forever. At some point it will ease a little.
Coming here to talk with others was my help. Hope you continue to come here.
When you feel like it we would love for you to share some happy or funny stories about Bun Bun. Maybe about some of her habbits. I know it helped me to talk about mine. Even though I bawled my eyes out while writing I had some relief to know someone out there took the time to read my stories and actually cared.
Hugs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Everything you feel is part of this awful healing process. I blamed myself for her death. (it was an accident with a car) We can't let it eat away at us forever. At some point it will ease a little.
Coming here to talk with others was my help. Hope you continue to come here.
When you feel like it we would love for you to share some happy or funny stories about Bun Bun. Maybe about some of her habbits. I know it helped me to talk about mine. Even though I bawled my eyes out while writing I had some relief to know someone out there took the time to read my stories and actually cared.
Hugs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
QUOTE (sissycat @ Feb 15 2009, 10:48 AM)
You can't get over it in just a few days. It will take some time. I hurts so bad! I have done all the things you speak of. If you were to go back and read all my old posts. I asked the same questions. I thought I was crazy, but no we are not!!
Everything you feel is part of this awful healing process. I blamed myself for her death. (it was an accident with a car) We can't let it eat away at us forever. At some point it will ease a little.
Coming here to talk with others was my help. Hope you continue to come here.
When you feel like it we would love for you to share some happy or funny stories about Bun Bun. Maybe about some of her habbits. I know it helped me to talk about mine. Even though I bawled my eyes out while writing I had some relief to know someone out there took the time to read my stories and actually cared.
Hugs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Everything you feel is part of this awful healing process. I blamed myself for her death. (it was an accident with a car) We can't let it eat away at us forever. At some point it will ease a little.
Coming here to talk with others was my help. Hope you continue to come here.
When you feel like it we would love for you to share some happy or funny stories about Bun Bun. Maybe about some of her habbits. I know it helped me to talk about mine. Even though I bawled my eyes out while writing I had some relief to know someone out there took the time to read my stories and actually cared.
Hugs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I know your right, I know it will get better. I just cant bear to even say her name with out crying. I never cried like this in my life. I cant bear to see her pictures anymore, they burn thru me like a hot knife. I have to stop this. i am trying real hard to do something else but think of her. I have to put this aside. Our other cat is running all over the house looking for her, screaming her head off. My wife is the same as me, we look different. We lost a family member. Our house is empty, I have to get over this. I'm sorry for what I did, I thought it was the right thing to do. Back in 86 I took a real beating in the stock market, this has effected me more and worse. I cant stop think of her and seeing her sweet face. with her trusting eyes. I am sorry Bun-Bun..Poor Bun-Bun what the hell did I do..I really must sound like a nut. This is so different for me. I was never so attached to anyone like this. I was her guardian, I still feel I let her down.. tomorrow I am going to call the vet and maybe he can help us cope with this. I just don't know.. This is crazy. I cant understand why I am feeling like this..Im sorry Bun-Bun. thank you so much for listening to the ravings of a nut. This is all new to me.. I cant vent anywhere else.. Thank you so much..
George,
you are NOT nuts. Losing a loved special friend is absolutely overwhelming devastating.
I am glad to hear you will talk to your vet. I was willing to make an appt without an animal and pay the office visit for the time if the vet I called did not have time to talk to me...but she did and it helped me a lot.
Spend some time now writing down your questions like: If I hadn't made the decision at that time, what would have happened to my girl? Was she suffering when I brought her in because of what you saw in her physical condition? What were her alternatives at that time? (Or were there any?).
After 17 years of being together, you gave her peace when she needed help. Think about that.
Read some stories here where the decision was made to bring the sweetheart home, and for some once the vet had closed, they went through hours of watching their baby suffer...and pass away. So many said they would not do that again....they can't forget watching and hearing.
Your girl's trusting eyes hoped you would do what was needed to help HER. You did. What other decision did you feel you should make? That's why it is good to ask the vet if there were alternatives, what were they, and what would happen if they didn't work..would she suffer..
I don't believe your vet would have said to let her go if he felt there was hope of giving her any kind of quality of life without suffering.
Of course your other pet is suffering. The vibes you and your wife give out are easily read by these babies. They are upset because you are...and they don't know why and we can't tell them.
You say you can't understand why you are feeling like this. We here understand why, George, because we have lived all your feelings and learned to survive. It is pure hell but again I go back to remembering the words of one Mom that I said before to you ....The pain of losing her will never ever be greater than the joy of knowing her.
We want them to stay forever but that is not to be. I have lost very young ones, and before the 3 feral cats born in my backyard, the longest I had a best pal was 12 years, and so when my last one had his 16th birthday, I was overjoyed and hope he would stay at least over 20 years, as I have read some do. But things started to happen a few months later and so he never saw birthday 17. It is all a part of loving them and having them become a very important part of our family..and we never regret doing that.
I heard about vet schools that give counseling over the phone but I know of none that really helped. This forum is where I have seen real help when given by the members who are honest and caring and genuine and so far they have answered you here and are still ready to help as best they can.
When you think of Bun-bun....just softly say to her...."I love you and I gave you peace...I could never let you suffer". Or, whatever feels right to you. That's what I say to my boy when I can't block out that last day. When I look at his pictures all over my home..in my mind I tell him...I'm sorry I could not help you but I know you are not suffering anymore and all I could do was give you peace.
With my boy, he almost died as a feral kitten at about 6 weeks old. His feral mom tried to get him to eat but he just laid there foaming at the mouth. She gave up after a bit and went to her other kittens. I looked at him in my back yard and got a cardboard box and scooped him up and although it was July 4th, there was a vet open around the corner and as my husband drove us there, I keep asking...What are we going to do with this "little guy"? That's how he got his name, even though at 1 year old, he wound up weighing 16 pounds for life. The vet gave him a shot, said he had pneumonia, gave me antibiotics and said if he made it through the next 24 to 48 hours, he would live. I kept him in my home and nursed him and he was a fighter and survived. This is an example of when we are allowed to help them and it works. We are so grateful when that happens.
We don't want to think there will be a time we will not be allowed to help them...the disease that takes over their physical body will be in control and neither the vet nor ourselves will be able to overcome that inevitable time. It is the worst in our lives because we have lost something called a special unconditional love that helped enrich our lives so much...we don't know what to do without it. All babies are special and unique but we find sometimes that we have one that takes over our heart in a different way and that one is the hardest of all to let go.
Keep writing, cry, talk and hug your wife, hug your other cat who cannot imagine what is happening except his world has also changed dramatically.
Remember your Bun-bun is at peace. She is not suffering. She is not in any pain. It was her physical body that was allowed to fail her......never you.
They do trust us to make the right decision and although we fight the thought, we know down deep inside...there comes a time for their sake...we have to let them go. I have never made such a decision without talking to the vet and although they always say it is our decision, they cannot make it for us....they can tell us afterwards..if it was their precious one...it was the best decision at the time. I have spoke to vets that not only make that decision for their pet but they actually perform the act themselves.
We know the love we get from these sweethearts is such that if they had to live through pain to be with us ...they would do so....that's how much they want to be with us. But we know that when you love a best friend...the thought they are suffering...is something we cannot allow.
You have a special girl that is a part of your family and your lives forever. We really want them to stay forever and they want to stay forever....but....losing them comes with time and we always do think in the back of our minds that when that time comes, we hope it is peaceful for them. We make that final decision with that in mind. We never make it willingly and we are many times unprepared for the tremendous pain and loss that will hit us.
That's why when we read others stories here and how they are surviving and they read ours and we share the pain that never goes away completely, we can find ourselves healing little by little, one day at a time. Healing doesn't mean you are over everything. Healing means the pain becomes bearable and we find ourselves remembering more of the good and happy, healthy memories than the sad ones of the final days.
There are so many more good memories...we have to teach ourselves to think of them when we feel sad and smile and be glad we at least have those.
It takes time, George. I hope your vet helps....I know mine did.
Judy
you are NOT nuts. Losing a loved special friend is absolutely overwhelming devastating.
I am glad to hear you will talk to your vet. I was willing to make an appt without an animal and pay the office visit for the time if the vet I called did not have time to talk to me...but she did and it helped me a lot.
Spend some time now writing down your questions like: If I hadn't made the decision at that time, what would have happened to my girl? Was she suffering when I brought her in because of what you saw in her physical condition? What were her alternatives at that time? (Or were there any?).
After 17 years of being together, you gave her peace when she needed help. Think about that.
Read some stories here where the decision was made to bring the sweetheart home, and for some once the vet had closed, they went through hours of watching their baby suffer...and pass away. So many said they would not do that again....they can't forget watching and hearing.
Your girl's trusting eyes hoped you would do what was needed to help HER. You did. What other decision did you feel you should make? That's why it is good to ask the vet if there were alternatives, what were they, and what would happen if they didn't work..would she suffer..
I don't believe your vet would have said to let her go if he felt there was hope of giving her any kind of quality of life without suffering.
Of course your other pet is suffering. The vibes you and your wife give out are easily read by these babies. They are upset because you are...and they don't know why and we can't tell them.
You say you can't understand why you are feeling like this. We here understand why, George, because we have lived all your feelings and learned to survive. It is pure hell but again I go back to remembering the words of one Mom that I said before to you ....The pain of losing her will never ever be greater than the joy of knowing her.
We want them to stay forever but that is not to be. I have lost very young ones, and before the 3 feral cats born in my backyard, the longest I had a best pal was 12 years, and so when my last one had his 16th birthday, I was overjoyed and hope he would stay at least over 20 years, as I have read some do. But things started to happen a few months later and so he never saw birthday 17. It is all a part of loving them and having them become a very important part of our family..and we never regret doing that.
I heard about vet schools that give counseling over the phone but I know of none that really helped. This forum is where I have seen real help when given by the members who are honest and caring and genuine and so far they have answered you here and are still ready to help as best they can.
When you think of Bun-bun....just softly say to her...."I love you and I gave you peace...I could never let you suffer". Or, whatever feels right to you. That's what I say to my boy when I can't block out that last day. When I look at his pictures all over my home..in my mind I tell him...I'm sorry I could not help you but I know you are not suffering anymore and all I could do was give you peace.
With my boy, he almost died as a feral kitten at about 6 weeks old. His feral mom tried to get him to eat but he just laid there foaming at the mouth. She gave up after a bit and went to her other kittens. I looked at him in my back yard and got a cardboard box and scooped him up and although it was July 4th, there was a vet open around the corner and as my husband drove us there, I keep asking...What are we going to do with this "little guy"? That's how he got his name, even though at 1 year old, he wound up weighing 16 pounds for life. The vet gave him a shot, said he had pneumonia, gave me antibiotics and said if he made it through the next 24 to 48 hours, he would live. I kept him in my home and nursed him and he was a fighter and survived. This is an example of when we are allowed to help them and it works. We are so grateful when that happens.
We don't want to think there will be a time we will not be allowed to help them...the disease that takes over their physical body will be in control and neither the vet nor ourselves will be able to overcome that inevitable time. It is the worst in our lives because we have lost something called a special unconditional love that helped enrich our lives so much...we don't know what to do without it. All babies are special and unique but we find sometimes that we have one that takes over our heart in a different way and that one is the hardest of all to let go.
Keep writing, cry, talk and hug your wife, hug your other cat who cannot imagine what is happening except his world has also changed dramatically.
Remember your Bun-bun is at peace. She is not suffering. She is not in any pain. It was her physical body that was allowed to fail her......never you.
They do trust us to make the right decision and although we fight the thought, we know down deep inside...there comes a time for their sake...we have to let them go. I have never made such a decision without talking to the vet and although they always say it is our decision, they cannot make it for us....they can tell us afterwards..if it was their precious one...it was the best decision at the time. I have spoke to vets that not only make that decision for their pet but they actually perform the act themselves.
We know the love we get from these sweethearts is such that if they had to live through pain to be with us ...they would do so....that's how much they want to be with us. But we know that when you love a best friend...the thought they are suffering...is something we cannot allow.
You have a special girl that is a part of your family and your lives forever. We really want them to stay forever and they want to stay forever....but....losing them comes with time and we always do think in the back of our minds that when that time comes, we hope it is peaceful for them. We make that final decision with that in mind. We never make it willingly and we are many times unprepared for the tremendous pain and loss that will hit us.
That's why when we read others stories here and how they are surviving and they read ours and we share the pain that never goes away completely, we can find ourselves healing little by little, one day at a time. Healing doesn't mean you are over everything. Healing means the pain becomes bearable and we find ourselves remembering more of the good and happy, healthy memories than the sad ones of the final days.
There are so many more good memories...we have to teach ourselves to think of them when we feel sad and smile and be glad we at least have those.
It takes time, George. I hope your vet helps....I know mine did.
Judy
George,
I can't think of a single thing to add to what Judy and others have said. So just permit me to offer you my most tender sympathies on the loss of your beautiful girl.
Sharing your tears,
Dayna
I can't think of a single thing to add to what Judy and others have said. So just permit me to offer you my most tender sympathies on the loss of your beautiful girl.
Sharing your tears,
Dayna
QUOTE (LoveThem @ Feb 15 2009, 02:47 PM)
George,
you are NOT nuts. Losing a loved special friend is absolutely overwhelming devastating.
I am glad to hear you will talk to your vet. I was willing to make an appt without an animal and pay the office visit for the time if the vet I called did not have time to talk to me...but she did and it helped me a lot.
Spend some time now writing down your questions like: If I hadn't made the decision at that time, what would have happened to my girl? Was she suffering when I brought her in because of what you saw in her physical condition? What were her alternatives at that time? (Or were there any?).
After 17 years of being together, you gave her peace when she needed help. Think about that.
Read some stories here where the decision was made to bring the sweetheart home, and for some once the vet had closed, they went through hours of watching their baby suffer...and pass away. So many said they would not do that again....they can't forget watching and hearing.
Your girl's trusting eyes hoped you would do what was needed to help HER. You did. What other decision did you feel you should make? That's why it is good to ask the vet if there were alternatives, what were they, and what would happen if they didn't work..would she suffer..
I don't believe your vet would have said to let her go if he felt there was hope of giving her any kind of quality of life without suffering.
Of course your other pet is suffering. The vibes you and your wife give out are easily read by these babies. They are upset because you are...and they don't know why and we can't tell them.
You say you can't understand why you are feeling like this. We here understand why, George, because we have lived all your feelings and learned to survive. It is pure hell but again I go back to remembering the words of one Mom that I said before to you ....The pain of losing her will never ever be greater than the joy of knowing her.
We want them to stay forever but that is not to be. I have lost very young ones, and before the 3 feral cats born in my backyard, the longest I had a best pal was 12 years, and so when my last one had his 16th birthday, I was overjoyed and hope he would stay at least over 20 years, as I have read some do. But things started to happen a few months later and so he never saw birthday 17. It is all a part of loving them and having them become a very important part of our family..and we never regret doing that.
I heard about vet schools that give counseling over the phone but I know of none that really helped. This forum is where I have seen real help when given by the members who are honest and caring and genuine and so far they have answered you here and are still ready to help as best they can.
When you think of Bun-bun....just softly say to her...."I love you and I gave you peace...I could never let you suffer". Or, whatever feels right to you. That's what I say to my boy when I can't block out that last day. When I look at his pictures all over my home..in my mind I tell him...I'm sorry I could not help you but I know you are not suffering anymore and all I could do was give you peace.
With my boy, he almost died as a feral kitten at about 6 weeks old. His feral mom tried to get him to eat but he just laid there foaming at the mouth. She gave up after a bit and went to her other kittens. I looked at him in my back yard and got a cardboard box and scooped him up and although it was July 4th, there was a vet open around the corner and as my husband drove us there, I keep asking...What are we going to do with this "little guy"? That's how he got his name, even though at 1 year old, he wound up weighing 16 pounds for life. The vet gave him a shot, said he had pneumonia, gave me antibiotics and said if he made it through the next 24 to 48 hours, he would live. I kept him in my home and nursed him and he was a fighter and survived. This is an example of when we are allowed to help them and it works. We are so grateful when that happens.
We don't want to think there will be a time we will not be allowed to help them...the disease that takes over their physical body will be in control and neither the vet nor ourselves will be able to overcome that inevitable time. It is the worst in our lives because we have lost something called a special unconditional love that helped enrich our lives so much...we don't know what to do without it. All babies are special and unique but we find sometimes that we have one that takes over our heart in a different way and that one is the hardest of all to let go.
Keep writing, cry, talk and hug your wife, hug your other cat who cannot imagine what is happening except his world has also changed dramatically.
Remember your Bun-bun is at peace. She is not suffering. She is not in any pain. It was her physical body that was allowed to fail her......never you.
They do trust us to make the right decision and although we fight the thought, we know down deep inside...there comes a time for their sake...we have to let them go. I have never made such a decision without talking to the vet and although they always say it is our decision, they cannot make it for us....they can tell us afterwards..if it was their precious one...it was the best decision at the time. I have spoke to vets that not only make that decision for their pet but they actually perform the act themselves.
We know the love we get from these sweethearts is such that if they had to live through pain to be with us ...they would do so....that's how much they want to be with us. But we know that when you love a best friend...the thought they are suffering...is something we cannot allow.
You have a special girl that is a part of your family and your lives forever. We really want them to stay forever and they want to stay forever....but....losing them comes with time and we always do think in the back of our minds that when that time comes, we hope it is peaceful for them. We make that final decision with that in mind. We never make it willingly and we are many times unprepared for the tremendous pain and loss that will hit us.
That's why when we read others stories here and how they are surviving and they read ours and we share the pain that never goes away completely, we can find ourselves healing little by little, one day at a time. Healing doesn't mean you are over everything. Healing means the pain becomes bearable and we find ourselves remembering more of the good and happy, healthy memories than the sad ones of the final days.
There are so many more good memories...we have to teach ourselves to think of them when we feel sad and smile and be glad we at least have those.
It takes time, George. I hope your vet helps....I know mine did.
Judy
you are NOT nuts. Losing a loved special friend is absolutely overwhelming devastating.
I am glad to hear you will talk to your vet. I was willing to make an appt without an animal and pay the office visit for the time if the vet I called did not have time to talk to me...but she did and it helped me a lot.
Spend some time now writing down your questions like: If I hadn't made the decision at that time, what would have happened to my girl? Was she suffering when I brought her in because of what you saw in her physical condition? What were her alternatives at that time? (Or were there any?).
After 17 years of being together, you gave her peace when she needed help. Think about that.
Read some stories here where the decision was made to bring the sweetheart home, and for some once the vet had closed, they went through hours of watching their baby suffer...and pass away. So many said they would not do that again....they can't forget watching and hearing.
Your girl's trusting eyes hoped you would do what was needed to help HER. You did. What other decision did you feel you should make? That's why it is good to ask the vet if there were alternatives, what were they, and what would happen if they didn't work..would she suffer..
I don't believe your vet would have said to let her go if he felt there was hope of giving her any kind of quality of life without suffering.
Of course your other pet is suffering. The vibes you and your wife give out are easily read by these babies. They are upset because you are...and they don't know why and we can't tell them.
You say you can't understand why you are feeling like this. We here understand why, George, because we have lived all your feelings and learned to survive. It is pure hell but again I go back to remembering the words of one Mom that I said before to you ....The pain of losing her will never ever be greater than the joy of knowing her.
We want them to stay forever but that is not to be. I have lost very young ones, and before the 3 feral cats born in my backyard, the longest I had a best pal was 12 years, and so when my last one had his 16th birthday, I was overjoyed and hope he would stay at least over 20 years, as I have read some do. But things started to happen a few months later and so he never saw birthday 17. It is all a part of loving them and having them become a very important part of our family..and we never regret doing that.
I heard about vet schools that give counseling over the phone but I know of none that really helped. This forum is where I have seen real help when given by the members who are honest and caring and genuine and so far they have answered you here and are still ready to help as best they can.
When you think of Bun-bun....just softly say to her...."I love you and I gave you peace...I could never let you suffer". Or, whatever feels right to you. That's what I say to my boy when I can't block out that last day. When I look at his pictures all over my home..in my mind I tell him...I'm sorry I could not help you but I know you are not suffering anymore and all I could do was give you peace.
With my boy, he almost died as a feral kitten at about 6 weeks old. His feral mom tried to get him to eat but he just laid there foaming at the mouth. She gave up after a bit and went to her other kittens. I looked at him in my back yard and got a cardboard box and scooped him up and although it was July 4th, there was a vet open around the corner and as my husband drove us there, I keep asking...What are we going to do with this "little guy"? That's how he got his name, even though at 1 year old, he wound up weighing 16 pounds for life. The vet gave him a shot, said he had pneumonia, gave me antibiotics and said if he made it through the next 24 to 48 hours, he would live. I kept him in my home and nursed him and he was a fighter and survived. This is an example of when we are allowed to help them and it works. We are so grateful when that happens.
We don't want to think there will be a time we will not be allowed to help them...the disease that takes over their physical body will be in control and neither the vet nor ourselves will be able to overcome that inevitable time. It is the worst in our lives because we have lost something called a special unconditional love that helped enrich our lives so much...we don't know what to do without it. All babies are special and unique but we find sometimes that we have one that takes over our heart in a different way and that one is the hardest of all to let go.
Keep writing, cry, talk and hug your wife, hug your other cat who cannot imagine what is happening except his world has also changed dramatically.
Remember your Bun-bun is at peace. She is not suffering. She is not in any pain. It was her physical body that was allowed to fail her......never you.
They do trust us to make the right decision and although we fight the thought, we know down deep inside...there comes a time for their sake...we have to let them go. I have never made such a decision without talking to the vet and although they always say it is our decision, they cannot make it for us....they can tell us afterwards..if it was their precious one...it was the best decision at the time. I have spoke to vets that not only make that decision for their pet but they actually perform the act themselves.
We know the love we get from these sweethearts is such that if they had to live through pain to be with us ...they would do so....that's how much they want to be with us. But we know that when you love a best friend...the thought they are suffering...is something we cannot allow.
You have a special girl that is a part of your family and your lives forever. We really want them to stay forever and they want to stay forever....but....losing them comes with time and we always do think in the back of our minds that when that time comes, we hope it is peaceful for them. We make that final decision with that in mind. We never make it willingly and we are many times unprepared for the tremendous pain and loss that will hit us.
That's why when we read others stories here and how they are surviving and they read ours and we share the pain that never goes away completely, we can find ourselves healing little by little, one day at a time. Healing doesn't mean you are over everything. Healing means the pain becomes bearable and we find ourselves remembering more of the good and happy, healthy memories than the sad ones of the final days.
There are so many more good memories...we have to teach ourselves to think of them when we feel sad and smile and be glad we at least have those.
It takes time, George. I hope your vet helps....I know mine did.
Judy
Thank you Judy. You seem to know just how I feel. Our other cat is so nervous she has licked all her hair off her tummy and back legs. Maybe she knew how sick she was. The more we throw this around the more signs of illness we see. I am trying to convince myself she was very sick. Some times we miss the signs of real bad problems. I am going to feel better (I think) after I talk to the vet tomorrow. I hope it goes well. I cant do this anymore, I cant keep crying all day, this is wrong for everyone. This is effecting my whole family, our kids are now doing the same , sense they see me in this condition. I am making myself and the rest of the family sick.
Poor Bun-Bun she was my pal, she only played with me , she was the shy one. I love her , I miss her. But I know I will feel better when I talk to the vet. I cant keep thinking of the tragedy . I must stop re-doing that day and re-living it. I am taking another day off work tomorrow to get prepared to call the vet and I dint think I am ready yet. I must get Thur this, I must stop for the sake of the family.
This was not our first pet we "let go" but she was the quit one , never her a sound, never complained, never was missing from a family get together, she always sat quietly and was always there. Poor Bun-Bun. She woke us up every day, demanding her breakfast, she had to eat when we did. she was a big part of our everyday routine. You make coffee, my make her breakfast, you read the paper, you pat her tummy, she had several spots all over the house she "perched" to watch us. She was always there. Our extra bed was hers, she had hip problems from birth so we had to keep thinks low to the floor cause she couldn't jump far up. When my wife knits she always played with the yarn. She was always in the picture. She was that part of the family unit that never in the spot lite but always there. Always there like a good friend. When ever I remember anything about our family, she is in the picture. I miss her so.
I am trying to get my arms around this, all the letters I have received are helping tremendously, I appreciate them more then you will ever know Judy. Thanks your a good pal.. I hope you find peace with your lost love one to. tomorrow is going to be a better day, I know the vet will put to rest a lot of my agony. Tomorrow it's going to be different day, I just know it.. Bless you Judy , your a real friend
QUOTE (myhrtisbrkn @ Feb 15 2009, 05:31 PM)
George,
I can't think of a single thing to add to what Judy and others have said. So just permit me to offer you my most tender sympathies on the loss of your beautiful girl.
Sharing your tears,
Dayna
I can't think of a single thing to add to what Judy and others have said. So just permit me to offer you my most tender sympathies on the loss of your beautiful girl.
Sharing your tears,
Dayna
Thank you, Judy and the others have helped me enormously. It is difficult coping with the lost of a loved one. She was a central part of our family unit. Our family dynamic will never be the same.. I miss her so..
Thank you Dayna, bless you
You did NOT let her down, you helped her when she could not help herself. I have let cats live on longer than nature intended, and I feel guilty for that. However, our last cat, he was let go a few weeks ago when he was obviously not enjoying life any more, he went quickly, and he seemed to be ready to go. I miss him a lot, but at least I know he did not have a long painful protracted ending.
We let pets live artificially long lives through food and medication, so when they go via euthanasia, we are not ending their normal lives, we are stopping artificially extending their lives. When they are old, and have a major health crisis, they are not likely going to get better. Why do we drag it out when we know that's it? They simply do not live as long as humans. We need to remember them as ther were when they were healthy and normal, we will see them again in another time and another place. Celebrate Bunny's life, you obviously made it a good one for her.
Thinking of you as we think of our loss also.
We let pets live artificially long lives through food and medication, so when they go via euthanasia, we are not ending their normal lives, we are stopping artificially extending their lives. When they are old, and have a major health crisis, they are not likely going to get better. Why do we drag it out when we know that's it? They simply do not live as long as humans. We need to remember them as ther were when they were healthy and normal, we will see them again in another time and another place. Celebrate Bunny's life, you obviously made it a good one for her.
Thinking of you as we think of our loss also.
QUOTE (jasonsmom @ Feb 15 2009, 07:37 PM)
You did NOT let her down, you helped her when she could not help herself. I have let cats live on longer than nature intended, and I feel guilty for that. However, our last cat, he was let go a few weeks ago when he was obviously not enjoying life any more, he went quickly, and he seemed to be ready to go. I miss him a lot, but at least I know he did not have a long painful protracted ending.
We let pets live artificially long lives through food and medication, so when they go via euthanasia, we are not ending their normal lives, we are stopping artificially extending their lives. When they are old, and have a major health crisis, they are not likely going to get better. Why do we drag it out when we know that's it? They simply do not live as long as humans. We need to remember them as ther were when they were healthy and normal, we will see them again in another time and another place. Celebrate Bunny's life, you obviously made it a good one for her.
Thinking of you as we think of our loss also.
We let pets live artificially long lives through food and medication, so when they go via euthanasia, we are not ending their normal lives, we are stopping artificially extending their lives. When they are old, and have a major health crisis, they are not likely going to get better. Why do we drag it out when we know that's it? They simply do not live as long as humans. We need to remember them as ther were when they were healthy and normal, we will see them again in another time and another place. Celebrate Bunny's life, you obviously made it a good one for her.
Thinking of you as we think of our loss also.
Thank you, I know your right. I know she was sick, I know it was the right thing to have happen. I know, I know. I just miss her so. I am selfish to want more time with her, I cant let her go. I am sorry. I feel I am in a neutral part of my life. I have something missing in my life that I erased. It was my decision. I did not want her to suffer. there are a lot of "I"'s in this letter, I am so selfish. There should be more "hers" . I don't know what's going on in my head. I am so sorry for her. I just don't know. Thank you for your truthful help, your right in every way. I am just ,,,, for the lack of a better word "sorry" for her. I just wasn't ready to let her go. there goes another "I"... Bun-Bun was my best friend... I just want to tell he I'm sorry... thank you .. Bless you
Helllo again George, I hope you get what you need from the vet. I can't tell you enough how much I know exactly what you are going thru. Especially the whole trust thing. I just wanted to let you know that others have posted some very good articles in the Pet Resources and Article column. The 3rd one down "Making the Big Decision- Euthanization" had helped me alot. There is a part in it that mentions living in the moment; remembering how we felt and why we made the decision. Before I read that I couldn't understand why in my mind I kept going back to that last day. After reading that, I concluded it was a reminder of his suffering. Like you, I wish I could forget (but never will) the look in his eyes, the disapointment that I couldn't help him, the broken promise. Sometimes, I tell myself that those eyes instead said to me "thank you for taking away my pain mom", I'm sorry to see you so sad". This was not my first pet, but my first euthanization. Most likely it won't be the last, but it's hard, really, really hard. Please read the article and others alike, I hope it will help...Big Hug..Ann
QUOTE (ann @ Feb 16 2009, 01:58 AM)
Helllo again George, I hope you get what you need from the vet. I can't tell you enough how much I know exactly what you are going thru. Especially the whole trust thing. I just wanted to let you know that others have posted some very good articles in the Pet Resources and Article column. The 3rd one down "Making the Big Decision- Euthanization" had helped me alot. There is a part in it that mentions living in the moment; remembering how we felt and why we made the decision. Before I read that I couldn't understand why in my mind I kept going back to that last day. After reading that, I concluded it was a reminder of his suffering. Like you, I wish I could forget (but never will) the look in his eyes, the disapointment that I couldn't help him, the broken promise. Sometimes, I tell myself that those eyes instead said to me "thank you for taking away my pain mom", I'm sorry to see you so sad". This was not my first pet, but my first euthanization. Most likely it won't be the last, but it's hard, really, really hard. Please read the article and others alike, I hope it will help...Big Hug..Ann
Thank you Ann, I will read it right now. Today is very important for me as i am going to talk to the vet. I awoke early and almost made it out of bed before crying. I must resolve to the fact that it was the right thing to do, and know I will get reinforcement from the vet. Why this effected me so deeply is a mystery to me, She was not our first pet nor or first to be "let go". she was just special I guess, so loving, so sweet always there for all those years. Her face showed a reflection of our family's growth. She was special to say the lease. I have to learn not to look at the spots she always used as a vantage point to witness whats going on. I kissed her every day because she was so full of love for us as well. Like I said , I'm no kid. for some reason this has humbled me. I guess what they say is true that the small things in like are the most important. I never thought I would act this way when Bun-Bun passed., I never thought of her not being there. I guess I just got use to her always being there, It is empty in our house. Our other pets have not played with any of there toys sense that day. It is hard to see the food and water bowl one third the size they where when she was home. She was a big eater. I loved to make her a snack. She was so sweet. I miss her so. I'm so sorry for your lost. I know what you went thru. I'm learning what every day with the ones you love means. I hope you find peace. I just miss my Bun-Bun.. Thanks so much for your kind words, they mean every thing to me. I will get thru this, I just need a little more time. I just wish I could tell her how sorry I am. I love my Bun-Bun. Bless you Ann
Yes, time------------
Your Bun Bun knew how much she was loved. You were a great parent to her.
Wishing you some comfort. Hope your talk with the vet helps.
Hugs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Your Bun Bun knew how much she was loved. You were a great parent to her.
Wishing you some comfort. Hope your talk with the vet helps.
Hugs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
QUOTE (sissycat @ Feb 16 2009, 08:36 AM)
Yes, time------------
Your Bun Bun knew how much she was loved. You were a great parent to her.
Wishing you some comfort. Hope your talk with the vet helps.
Hugs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Your Bun Bun knew how much she was loved. You were a great parent to her.
Wishing you some comfort. Hope your talk with the vet helps.
Hugs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
thank you very much, I am getting ready to call the vet. Bun -Bun had saddle bags (we called them) her stomach was so wide from the rear it looked like saddle bags when she walked around. I miss that picture. I know this regret is going to end some day. It's just tough right now. I appreciate the help all the wonderful people have given me. It is hard to go thru this alone. My wife is worse then me. They spent lots of time together. She was the anchor of our house, she was always there , always looking for a family member, always ready to rub on your leg, ready to give you a meow hello. I know this was the right thing to do. I would never hurt her. I love her deeply. She was my Bun-Bun. I love her.
HI, George
Everything you say, I read and just wanted to let you know that every one of your replies here are full of normal feelings and thoughts and wishes. You can't think of anything we here have not thought of ourselves about our special ones.
I always say we will love them forever and miss them forever and because of that missing and love...the pain never completely goes away. It is the pain of missing them..of looking around and not seeing them.
I know the first few days, I would called out my boy's name very softly because when I used to do that no matter where he was, within a few minutes he was walking up to me. (Others here told me they did the same thing). I stopped after a while because I knew he was not coming up to me anymore and it got too depressing to do that.
I posted pictures of him in the Memorials and Tributes Section here and I believe in one, I had shown the pictures where I put a vase of flowers in some places he used to lie down..so the space did not look so empty.
I notice today is a Holiday (President's day). I hope you are able to reach your vet but if not, I am sure he will be there tomorrow....just wanted to warn you about the Holiday.
Anytime though, just come here again and write what you are feeling and thinking. We are always here listening and are anxious to hear about your talk with your vet. Hope you have written down any questions you don't want to forget to ask. When I talked with my vet, my main thoughts were about: what was his condition when she saw him that day? Was there any hope of a future? What could have been tried and what would the result most likely be? Was he suffering (Of course my boy was cause he couldn't breathe)? But these are questions I have asked about other special ones I have had in my life where decision time was coming. Sometimes I was told there was not immediate suffering...that made me feel better. But the future outcome was never a cure and eventually the end would not be peaceful. I always wanted to know how much time I had to make the decision....when there was time.
I think one of my hardest was a sweet girl dog who developed a spinal cord injury of some type at age 12. She was never in any pain or suffering but her legs would go into spasms where she could not walk or bend them for a time and her quality of life was getting bad. I saw her struggle to get out of her doghouse and couldn't cause her legs would not bend. After a time, they would and she could move. But it had progressed to a point where she had to do a BM and could not get out of her dog house to do it. The look in her eyes..................when that happened.....
I guess sometimes I tell more stories of other ones cause reading a long post can be distracting and sometimes it helps to be distracted.
Waiting to hear how your talk went................will be checking on you.
Judy
Everything you say, I read and just wanted to let you know that every one of your replies here are full of normal feelings and thoughts and wishes. You can't think of anything we here have not thought of ourselves about our special ones.
I always say we will love them forever and miss them forever and because of that missing and love...the pain never completely goes away. It is the pain of missing them..of looking around and not seeing them.
I know the first few days, I would called out my boy's name very softly because when I used to do that no matter where he was, within a few minutes he was walking up to me. (Others here told me they did the same thing). I stopped after a while because I knew he was not coming up to me anymore and it got too depressing to do that.
I posted pictures of him in the Memorials and Tributes Section here and I believe in one, I had shown the pictures where I put a vase of flowers in some places he used to lie down..so the space did not look so empty.
I notice today is a Holiday (President's day). I hope you are able to reach your vet but if not, I am sure he will be there tomorrow....just wanted to warn you about the Holiday.
Anytime though, just come here again and write what you are feeling and thinking. We are always here listening and are anxious to hear about your talk with your vet. Hope you have written down any questions you don't want to forget to ask. When I talked with my vet, my main thoughts were about: what was his condition when she saw him that day? Was there any hope of a future? What could have been tried and what would the result most likely be? Was he suffering (Of course my boy was cause he couldn't breathe)? But these are questions I have asked about other special ones I have had in my life where decision time was coming. Sometimes I was told there was not immediate suffering...that made me feel better. But the future outcome was never a cure and eventually the end would not be peaceful. I always wanted to know how much time I had to make the decision....when there was time.
I think one of my hardest was a sweet girl dog who developed a spinal cord injury of some type at age 12. She was never in any pain or suffering but her legs would go into spasms where she could not walk or bend them for a time and her quality of life was getting bad. I saw her struggle to get out of her doghouse and couldn't cause her legs would not bend. After a time, they would and she could move. But it had progressed to a point where she had to do a BM and could not get out of her dog house to do it. The look in her eyes..................when that happened.....
I guess sometimes I tell more stories of other ones cause reading a long post can be distracting and sometimes it helps to be distracted.
Waiting to hear how your talk went................will be checking on you.
Judy
I spoke to the vet today and he was curt but through in his explanation of the problem. It wasn't the best for me but it was the best for Bun-Bun. I, cant say I was totally relived after talking to him but he did take his time and he did say over and over it was the right decision for her. It's tough to live with but I am somewhat relived to hear it again. I was able to get thru the phone call without balling.(some tough guy Hun ?). I felt so selfish thinking about me instead of her needs and feelings... it was best for her , not me..
I also felt that 10 days out of work was enough so I decided to go into the office for a little wile.
I entered my office and sat at my desk, people came by to see where I had been and I just said it was the flu, case closed.
One of the girls , I don't even know well came in and point blank asked me " who did you loose" ?.
I guess I looked down in the face. she said you looked like you lost your best friend. (I did) but I didn't tell her that.
About a hour later I got a inter office e-mail from that person with a message attached saying "you look like your being tortured with guilt" and a video attachment was included ,saying this is what you look like. I viewed it and it shocked me to see what people though I looked like. Stairs thru the door as if I where on fire or something. Did I look that tormented?
I have to put this to rest, I am convinced that I did the right thing. I love my Bun-Bun but I cant torture myself anymore. I must move on. I will always love her and will always remember the love she shared with me. I must stop crying. I know I did the right thing.
I would like to thank my dear friends Judy, Nemo's Mon, Jon730, Sisycat, Ann, Myhrtisbrkn, and Jasonson Mom for all the love and support they gave me, you have my dieing gratitude. I hope peace finds it's way into your hearts. May God bless you and your family's. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. And Bun-Bun thanks you as well. She will always be with me, as long as I live. You all have a special place in my heart.
God Bless you all..
P.S.
Bun-Bun had a stuby tail too.
I guess this is what I looked like
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WHAs5loKT2w
I also felt that 10 days out of work was enough so I decided to go into the office for a little wile.
I entered my office and sat at my desk, people came by to see where I had been and I just said it was the flu, case closed.
One of the girls , I don't even know well came in and point blank asked me " who did you loose" ?.
I guess I looked down in the face. she said you looked like you lost your best friend. (I did) but I didn't tell her that.
About a hour later I got a inter office e-mail from that person with a message attached saying "you look like your being tortured with guilt" and a video attachment was included ,saying this is what you look like. I viewed it and it shocked me to see what people though I looked like. Stairs thru the door as if I where on fire or something. Did I look that tormented?
I have to put this to rest, I am convinced that I did the right thing. I love my Bun-Bun but I cant torture myself anymore. I must move on. I will always love her and will always remember the love she shared with me. I must stop crying. I know I did the right thing.
I would like to thank my dear friends Judy, Nemo's Mon, Jon730, Sisycat, Ann, Myhrtisbrkn, and Jasonson Mom for all the love and support they gave me, you have my dieing gratitude. I hope peace finds it's way into your hearts. May God bless you and your family's. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. And Bun-Bun thanks you as well. She will always be with me, as long as I live. You all have a special place in my heart.
God Bless you all..
P.S.
Bun-Bun had a stuby tail too.
I guess this is what I looked like
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WHAs5loKT2w
Wow, George....I didn't know you looked like Jack Nickelson! 
I love his movies!
That is a beautiful picture of your girl and I see what you mean about the tail.
I'm glad the vet did take the time to talk to you. I'm sorry he was curt but am glad he did discuss things with you. Maybe the fact my vet was a woman made her more sensitive cause I did cry during the talk but kept getting my control back. But I think that talk sounds like it did help you, especially when you said about his explaining things and telling you it was the right decision. I found it is one thing to "hear" what they are saying when you are right there with your baby...and know you are feeling forced to make a decision.....and to me it felt different to discuss it a few days later with the vet....I guess because the decision was already over and I wanted to concentrate more on why I felt the vet thought it was right..from a medical standpoint. It was hard to listen to what was wrong with my boy but hearing it without the pressure of the decision, did help me come to terms that there was no doubt it was the right thing to do...for him. We always do it..for them. And we will always hate doing it.
There comes a time when we get so exhausted from grieving...that's when we think..what would make us feel better...and that's when we start changing things little by little and these are the ideas that can lessen the out of control feeling that this kind of grief can give us.
Hugs to you and your wife and your other kitty. Fate can take the physical body from us but it can never ever take the soul and spirit and love we will always feel from our best friend, our special one.
Come back anytime, George. And if you slip back once in a while, remember that would be normal.
And, don't use the word "selfish".....we love them so much we want to keep them with us but it is never "selfish" when in spite of how we feel, we end up doing what is best for them...knowing we don't want to but also knowing we really have no choice. The only thing they really ask of us is the hardest thing of all to do but we do it because we love them that much. (The closest we can ever get to returning the unconditional love we always received from them).
They are in and have our hearts forever and nothing can take away the good memories and love we will always feel.
Judy
I love his movies!That is a beautiful picture of your girl and I see what you mean about the tail.
I'm glad the vet did take the time to talk to you. I'm sorry he was curt but am glad he did discuss things with you. Maybe the fact my vet was a woman made her more sensitive cause I did cry during the talk but kept getting my control back. But I think that talk sounds like it did help you, especially when you said about his explaining things and telling you it was the right decision. I found it is one thing to "hear" what they are saying when you are right there with your baby...and know you are feeling forced to make a decision.....and to me it felt different to discuss it a few days later with the vet....I guess because the decision was already over and I wanted to concentrate more on why I felt the vet thought it was right..from a medical standpoint. It was hard to listen to what was wrong with my boy but hearing it without the pressure of the decision, did help me come to terms that there was no doubt it was the right thing to do...for him. We always do it..for them. And we will always hate doing it.
There comes a time when we get so exhausted from grieving...that's when we think..what would make us feel better...and that's when we start changing things little by little and these are the ideas that can lessen the out of control feeling that this kind of grief can give us.
Hugs to you and your wife and your other kitty. Fate can take the physical body from us but it can never ever take the soul and spirit and love we will always feel from our best friend, our special one.
Come back anytime, George. And if you slip back once in a while, remember that would be normal.
And, don't use the word "selfish".....we love them so much we want to keep them with us but it is never "selfish" when in spite of how we feel, we end up doing what is best for them...knowing we don't want to but also knowing we really have no choice. The only thing they really ask of us is the hardest thing of all to do but we do it because we love them that much. (The closest we can ever get to returning the unconditional love we always received from them).
They are in and have our hearts forever and nothing can take away the good memories and love we will always feel.
Judy
QUOTE (LoveThem @ Feb 16 2009, 04:25 PM)
Wow, George....I didn't know you looked like Jack Nickelson! I love his movies!
That is a beautiful picture of your girl and I see what you mean about the tail.
I'm glad the vet did take the time to talk to you. I'm sorry he was curt but am glad he did discuss things with you. Maybe the fact my vet was a woman made her more sensitive cause I did cry during the talk but kept getting my control back. But I think that talk sounds like it did help you, especially when you said about his explaining things and telling you it was the right decision. I found it is one thing to "hear" what they are saying when you are right there with your baby...and know you are feeling forced to make a decision.....and to me it felt different to discuss it a few days later with the vet....I guess because the decision was already over and I wanted to concentrate more on why I felt the vet thought it was right..from a medical standpoint. It was hard to listen to what was wrong with my boy but hearing it without the pressure of the decision, did help me come to terms that there was no doubt it was the right thing to do...for him. We always do it..for them. And we will always hate doing it.
There comes a time when we get so exhausted from grieving...that's when we think..what would make us feel better...and that's when we start changing things little by little and these are the ideas that can lessen the out of control feeling that this kind of grief can give us.
Hugs to you and your wife and your other kitty. Fate can take the physical body from us but it can never ever take the soul and spirit and love we will always feel from our best friend, our special one.
Come back anytime, George. And if you slip back once in a while, remember that would be normal.
And, don't use the word "selfish".....we love them so much we want to keep them with us but it is never "selfish" when in spite of how we feel, we end up doing what is best for them...knowing we don't want to but also knowing we really have no choice. The only thing they really ask of us is the hardest thing of all to do but we do it because we love them that much. (The closest we can ever get to returning the unconditional love we always received from them).
They are in and have our hearts forever and nothing can take away the good memories and love we will always feel.
Judy
I love his movies!That is a beautiful picture of your girl and I see what you mean about the tail.
I'm glad the vet did take the time to talk to you. I'm sorry he was curt but am glad he did discuss things with you. Maybe the fact my vet was a woman made her more sensitive cause I did cry during the talk but kept getting my control back. But I think that talk sounds like it did help you, especially when you said about his explaining things and telling you it was the right decision. I found it is one thing to "hear" what they are saying when you are right there with your baby...and know you are feeling forced to make a decision.....and to me it felt different to discuss it a few days later with the vet....I guess because the decision was already over and I wanted to concentrate more on why I felt the vet thought it was right..from a medical standpoint. It was hard to listen to what was wrong with my boy but hearing it without the pressure of the decision, did help me come to terms that there was no doubt it was the right thing to do...for him. We always do it..for them. And we will always hate doing it.
There comes a time when we get so exhausted from grieving...that's when we think..what would make us feel better...and that's when we start changing things little by little and these are the ideas that can lessen the out of control feeling that this kind of grief can give us.
Hugs to you and your wife and your other kitty. Fate can take the physical body from us but it can never ever take the soul and spirit and love we will always feel from our best friend, our special one.
Come back anytime, George. And if you slip back once in a while, remember that would be normal.
And, don't use the word "selfish".....we love them so much we want to keep them with us but it is never "selfish" when in spite of how we feel, we end up doing what is best for them...knowing we don't want to but also knowing we really have no choice. The only thing they really ask of us is the hardest thing of all to do but we do it because we love them that much. (The closest we can ever get to returning the unconditional love we always received from them).
They are in and have our hearts forever and nothing can take away the good memories and love we will always feel.
Judy
Thank you Judy, your a good friend. It is tough but I will make it. I know there is still lots of tears in the future but I know she is happy without pain. She is a sweet heart. I can make it. I wish you well.
George
Hi George, Just wanted to let you know that I'm glad the vet was able help you. The head and heart need to be on the same page in times like these. I loved your ending " I will make it". GREAT!..We all know you/we will. It's a bumpy road ahead so anytime you stumble, LS will be here help you get on your feet again..You found your soulmate, you lost a great love, greive as much as you need to, we all understand. Some of us go thru life just having a pet, and others are lucky enough to find that "special one". You are very blessed to have had Bun Bun in world (and for a very long time)..Take care..Hugs. Ann
QUOTE (ann @ Feb 17 2009, 02:24 AM)
Hi George, Just wanted to let you know that I'm glad the vet was able help you. The head and heart need to be on the same page in times like these. I loved your ending " I will make it". GREAT!..We all know you/we will. It's a bumpy road ahead so anytime you stumble, LS will be here help you get on your feet again..You found your soulmate, you lost a great love, greive as much as you need to, we all understand. Some of us go thru life just having a pet, and others are lucky enough to find that "special one". You are very blessed to have had Bun Bun in world (and for a very long time)..Take care..Hugs. Ann
Thank you Ann, I will forever remember your words, I made it thru a whole night and plan on going to work today. It is a mystery to me why this as effected me so deeply. I loved Bun-Bun but it was the right thing to do for her. I have to let this follow it's own path and give myself chance to heal. I am going to make it. I do appreciate all your kind and thoughtful words, you will never know how much they meant to a tormented soul. I hope peace finds you. God Bless...George
QUOTE (george @ Feb 17 2009, 08:34 AM)
It is a mystery to me why this as effected me so deeply.
I wondered about this myself, and after many months became convinced that the relationship with Miles was the kind of total, unreserved, unconditional love we always had hoped to experience with a human. People rarely ever find it. Everyone dreams of it.
So, someday, when we do not expect it, or even think of it any more, we have a close friend who never judges us.
We never have to worry about saying the wrong thing. If we mess up, they forgive us.
They are always glad to see us. We do not need to do anything but show up in the same room, and they always express delight and joy.
They become part of our lives and before we know it, we have promoted them to "human", and imprinted them with our personalities.
We know that even if we have a horrible day...Lose the job and smash the car up on the way home, they will not say a bad word, nor call us anything, nor judge us, except to run to the door and welcome us, and rub against our legs, and maybe, maybe even beg for a treat...or graciously allow us to give them one.
The years go by. They are there, reliable and with friendship as steady as a rock. We do not even know we depend on them...
Until.
And is what made it so hard.
Hi George....
Glad to hear you were able to go to work today. You'll have to take it one day at time. Just remember to keep breathing, breathing.... one breath at a time, you will make it through.
I hope your dear Bun-bun and my kitties are having a good time today at the Rainbow Bridge. For they do not leave us.... it's "till we meet again".
Ren, Zorro, and Nemo's Mom
Glad to hear you were able to go to work today. You'll have to take it one day at time. Just remember to keep breathing, breathing.... one breath at a time, you will make it through.
I hope your dear Bun-bun and my kitties are having a good time today at the Rainbow Bridge. For they do not leave us.... it's "till we meet again".
Ren, Zorro, and Nemo's Mom
[quote name='Nemo's Mommy' date='Feb 17 2009, 04:34 PM' post='48735']
Hi George....
Glad to hear you were able to go to work today. You'll have to take it one day at time. Just remember to keep breathing, breathing.... one breath at a time, you will make it through.
I hope your dear Bun-bun and my kitties are having a good time today at the Rainbow Bridge. For they do not leave us.... it's "till we meet again".
Ren, Zorro, and Nemo's Mom
[/quote
I made it Thur today, I must say I though it was going to be essayer then it was. But when I got home my wife is still a basket case, the other cat has not eaten in 4 days and screams all the time. I got thru work but I am reliving it all over again when I got home. I locked myself in the den to e-mail for a wile. The back of the house (Bun-Bun domain) was dark and cold. This house just is not happy anymore, I must spend time with my family instead of alone. I must move on, I must stop thinking of this.. I am going insane ? This cant be happening to me. I never had something upset my life so much. Whats going on in my life ?? Why is this happening.. I wish I had that day to do over.. this is crazy !
Hi George....
Glad to hear you were able to go to work today. You'll have to take it one day at time. Just remember to keep breathing, breathing.... one breath at a time, you will make it through.
I hope your dear Bun-bun and my kitties are having a good time today at the Rainbow Bridge. For they do not leave us.... it's "till we meet again".
Ren, Zorro, and Nemo's Mom
[/quote
I made it Thur today, I must say I though it was going to be essayer then it was. But when I got home my wife is still a basket case, the other cat has not eaten in 4 days and screams all the time. I got thru work but I am reliving it all over again when I got home. I locked myself in the den to e-mail for a wile. The back of the house (Bun-Bun domain) was dark and cold. This house just is not happy anymore, I must spend time with my family instead of alone. I must move on, I must stop thinking of this.. I am going insane ? This cant be happening to me. I never had something upset my life so much. Whats going on in my life ?? Why is this happening.. I wish I had that day to do over.. this is crazy !
QUOTE (Jon730 @ Feb 17 2009, 09:09 AM)
I wondered about this myself, and after many months became convinced that the relationship with Miles was the kind of total, unreserved, unconditional love we always had hoped to experience with a human. People rarely ever find it. Everyone dreams of it.
So, someday, when we do not expect it, or even think of it any more, we have a close friend who never judges us.
We never have to worry about saying the wrong thing. If we mess up, they forgive us.
They are always glad to see us. We do not need to do anything but show up in the same room, and they always express delight and joy.
They become part of our lives and before we know it, we have promoted them to "human", and imprinted them with our personalities.
We know that even if we have a horrible day...Lose the job and smash the car up on the way home, they will not say a bad word, nor call us anything, nor judge us, except to run to the door and welcome us, and rub against our legs, and maybe, maybe even beg for a treat...or graciously allow us to give them one.
The years go by. They are there, reliable and with friendship as steady as a rock. We do not even know we depend on them...
Until.
And is what made it so hard.
So, someday, when we do not expect it, or even think of it any more, we have a close friend who never judges us.
We never have to worry about saying the wrong thing. If we mess up, they forgive us.
They are always glad to see us. We do not need to do anything but show up in the same room, and they always express delight and joy.
They become part of our lives and before we know it, we have promoted them to "human", and imprinted them with our personalities.
We know that even if we have a horrible day...Lose the job and smash the car up on the way home, they will not say a bad word, nor call us anything, nor judge us, except to run to the door and welcome us, and rub against our legs, and maybe, maybe even beg for a treat...or graciously allow us to give them one.
The years go by. They are there, reliable and with friendship as steady as a rock. We do not even know we depend on them...
Until.
And is what made it so hard.
Yes they are, they are what keeps us doing the things we "have" to do. They always understand how we feel, nothings more important then a good long nap in the sun, or a little treat or a nice long drink of water. The important things are the little things I life. Funny how God put cats here to teach us that. I learned a lot from my Bun-Bun. She showed me what unconditional love is.. We miss them so much because they where so gentle with our feelings, never harsh or fast always just a hug away from purring.. There perfect little love machines.
George,
I just wanted to say I am so sorry about Bun-Bun. I read your story and I am right there with you. I loved my Roman like he was my son. I am having a very hard time too. We are all here for each other. I will say a prayer for you and Bun-Bun. We will make it through this. We have to. They would not want us to be sad for them forever. They would want us to be happy! I will be thinking of you.
I just wanted to say I am so sorry about Bun-Bun. I read your story and I am right there with you. I loved my Roman like he was my son. I am having a very hard time too. We are all here for each other. I will say a prayer for you and Bun-Bun. We will make it through this. We have to. They would not want us to be sad for them forever. They would want us to be happy! I will be thinking of you.
QUOTE (Jules02 @ Feb 18 2009, 09:42 AM)
George,
I just wanted to say I am so sorry about Bun-Bun. I read your story and I am right there with you. I loved my Roman like he was my son. I am having a very hard time too. We are all here for each other. I will say a prayer for you and Bun-Bun. We will make it through this. We have to. They would not want us to be sad for them forever. They would want us to be happy! I will be thinking of you.
I just wanted to say I am so sorry about Bun-Bun. I read your story and I am right there with you. I loved my Roman like he was my son. I am having a very hard time too. We are all here for each other. I will say a prayer for you and Bun-Bun. We will make it through this. We have to. They would not want us to be sad for them forever. They would want us to be happy! I will be thinking of you.
Thank you very much. We all have this bridge to cross and I guess only time makes it go away, I do appreciate all the kind words and support for my friends on Lighting strike. It's been a hard couple of weeks I never knew I would react this way when her time came. They show us so much unconditional love you just take it for granted and when it's gone a void is in our hearts. I really want to stop thinking of "that day" all the time, so I can get to the next level or something. I do know it would have been very lonely with out all the support I received from my friends, like you. We must remember the good things and NEVER think of the ending. I loved my Bun-Bun but she was sick and that's that. I cant relive the end over and over, it's not doing me any good. I took another day off work and I'm going to the movies with my wife, I hope it takes my mind off of it for a wile anyway. But tomorrow will come and I must get myself together and move on. thank you for your kind words and I hope you find peace real soon. Our loved ones really don't want us to suffer as we did not want them to either. Bun-Bun and Roman are happy and in a place where they don't feel pain and are never hungry or cold and play all day long, there happy ..God bless you
It has been over three weeks now and it is getting a little better coping with our lost. Today the remains of our Bun-Bun can home to us from the vet. Our other cat (Maggie) has been crying for her all the time, she is also having problems eating and sleeping but today when Bun-Bun came back home she starting playing with her toys, she had not touched then sense that day. It seemed to be a "whole" home again when Bun-Bun came back today. Her spirit has reentered our life's and we are all together again. we fell better now that she is home with us. We are grateful knowing that she is no longer in pain and is in a better place now. But her spirit will always be with us.
I am grateful of all my friends on Lighting Strike who knew the pain I was going thru. We all have a common bond of emptiness .We all have lost our little loved ones.
It's comforting knowing that there are souls who struggle after losing there furry friends but still can extend kindness to others. I appreciate all my friends here who helped me through this difficult time.
I wish you all peace and my God bless you all..
George
I am grateful of all my friends on Lighting Strike who knew the pain I was going thru. We all have a common bond of emptiness .We all have lost our little loved ones.
It's comforting knowing that there are souls who struggle after losing there furry friends but still can extend kindness to others. I appreciate all my friends here who helped me through this difficult time.
I wish you all peace and my God bless you all..
George
Hi George, I'm glad the presence of Bun Bun has given you, Maggie and your family some peace. Funny how that is. It was the same for me. It took over 2 long weeks b4 I got my Arthur's ashes back home. And then there was this tremedous sense of relief having him back where he belonged. Maybe it's comforting knowing there is something there of the physical sense I guess. I'm glad we were able to help comfort you. It's nice to know there is a place to come to when every so often we start to lose our balance...Take care..Ann
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