My lil' punkin' pie, Zoe,
It was a month yesterday, that I lost you to a tragic accident. You are missed more than you'll ever know. I shed a tear everyday that's you're gone. I think about you ...all day ....everyday. It's so hard to accept that you're gone. I want so bad to hold you and love on you ~ and I will....someday. I know every day that passes is another day closer to seeing and being with you.

A GIFT FOR SUCH A LITTLE WHILE
YOU'RE LOSS JUST SEEMED SO WRONG,
YOU SHOULD NOT HAVE LEFT ME,
IT'S WITH ME...IS WHERE YOU BELONG.
MAMA

~Zoe - Forever In My Heart ~

I miss you Zoe.
Mama

Hello Everyone,
Sorry I haven't been expressing myself my thoughts and feelings here on the LS site very often, although, I do visit quite regularly, and view how you are all doing, but at times, I'm really not quite sure what to say. I'm afriad, everytime I would reply or comment, I would be saying the same things over and over and I don't want to sound like a broken record. It's been six weeks, since Zoe's tragic accident and I'm still grieving terribly. Tears still come easily when I talk about her or when I just sit quietly and think about her. I miss her so much. I want nothing more than to have her in my arms again and to cover her with kisses, however, I know that's not possible. I still take it one day at a time, some are better than others, but for the most part, I'm just trying to cope and to try my best to make it through another day. To help myself, I write in a journal I bought ...and it's all written to Zoe. I've cried my way through it, with a snicker in between, every now and again. I am also making a scrapbook on her as well. It keeps me quite occupied in the evenings, after everything has settled. I keep telling myself, while I am working on it .... that I would much rather be out taking a walk with Zoe, rather than glueing pictures of her in a book. I've cried through it as well. I am taking all of this as a part of healing process?!

I would like to take a minute and say THANKS to each and everyone of you who may have commented on my thread. It means to much to me. I can honestly say, this is the hardest thing I have ever dealt with in my 42 years of my life. Zoe was my first puppy love. It was all about her and I together, no matter what was going on in the world, and I miss it.
Again, thanks to all,
Hope everyone is hanging in there
Lots of love and hugs
Sincerely,
Deanna

You will never forget Zoe and you will never replace her..because that is always impossible to do. But you might think about getting a puppy ...maybe you will see one that reminds you of Zoe.

I adopted a boy kitty that reminded me of my Little Guy and when I see him lie down by a window....I sometimes feel as though for a second...it is my Little Guy lying there...that thought makes me smile. I will never have him back but I like the distraction of one who reminds me of him for that's as close as I can get physically to "having" him back.

I needed this distraction because I could not tolerate anymore an empty home. I knew there were furbabies out there needing someone to hold them and I wanted to hold one again, to talk to them and have them talk back.

I realized after crying and grieving over and over that it didn't make me feel better....I needed to do something else. All my grieving does not bring my Little Guy back. All it does is use up time but when I thought about the fact that even time was not making me feel better...I decided on the distraction of getting another. And they are distracting...they do add to your life...they can't help it cause they live in the moment and kind of force us to live in the moment too.

I guess what is best of all....they make you feel "alive" again......instead of "dead" inside.

That doesn't mean we will ever forget the ones we lost...not ever. and we still will miss them everyday because they are and will always be a part of us. I still write notes here to my Little Guy. I have his pictures and his siblings pictures in every room I walk into so I look into their eyes. I can touch their face in the picture. I can say Hello to the picture.

But that little bundle of fur racing from one end of my home to the other...the new boy I named Lucky....well..him I can pick up and hug that furry body and it feels good to do that. He needed a home and I needed him. The loneliness still comes but it is not everyday anymore and not devastating unless I let it.

Yes, taking it all one day at a time is the best way to get through each day while we wait for time to pass and the pain to become bearable. After a while I needed help to do that.

Take care..Hugs to you and Zoe. She is truly precious and anything you feel like doing that makes you feel better..is the
right thing for you to do.

Lovethem,
Thank you for your reply. It is good to hear from you.

As much as I am grieving for the loss of Zoe. Your suggestion of getting a new puppy has just recently crossed my mind. The emptiness of my home without a fur baby is so sad and quiet. I feel it intensifies my grieving. I miss the love and joy that Zoe and I had together. I was unlike anything I had ever experienced in my life. Zoe was my first puppy love at 40 years old! It was heaven on earth when I was with Zoe. I miss her soooo much.

When I do think about getting a new puppy. I fear I will compare it to Zoe and I will be dissappointed. I do have to come to the realization that no matter what puppy I get. There will never being another Zoe. They all have their own love and personality. I am searching for the one to make me feel alive again.

Again, thanks Lovethem
You have been a tremendous help to me!
Take care and keep in touch,
Your friend,
Deanna



******I WILL FOREVER LOVE AND MISS YOU ZOE*********

Gosh that was a cute dog! I just read about how she died and burst out crying.
I had to put my beautiful golden to sleep two days ago, and am just a wreck. I keep seeing his last moments over and over and over again.
Four years ago I lost my border collie to sudden death due to illness, so I've been through long drawn out suffering illness, and a sudden death in which a pet was ripped away without a chance to say goodbye. It is so devastating.

This site was a big help four years ago, and I think it will help me again now.

Steph
Thank you ~ Thank you ~ I thought she was cute too!
She brought such an enourmous amount of happiness in my life ~ the pain of losing her has been beyond devastating. It's been really hard to get back to the real world and act like a half-way happy person.

I'm sorry my story of losing Zoe upset you. It was such a horrible tragedy how I lost her, and of all days ~ my birthday?! I know, losing her on any other day would have been just as horrible, but I will... forever ... never want to celebrate my birthday again.

This site has helped me tremendously ~ I really don't know what I would have done without it.
Again, thank you for your kind words.
Hang in there ~
Deanna

Hi Deanna, don't apologize for upsetting me with the story of how you lost Zoe - that's what this site is for - to share our stories.
Thanks for taking the time to see what my Falkor looked like. He truly had a heart of gold. He was so gentle.

Hi Zoe ~ It's mama
I still think about you every waking moment. I miss you terribly. I try so hard to have happy thoughts of you and of the times we were together, however, the sadness of you being physically gone overwhelms me throughout every day. I am consumed with thinking about your accident and how you were taken away from me way too soon. You were such a wonderful, healthy, and VERY HAPPY puppy in my eyes .... with so much more to give and receive. There was so much we didn't get to do together for the short two years we were together ... and the things we had done and enjoyed, I wanted to do it over and over and over again. Like taking our long walks though the neighborhood, being silly, playing around the house and in the yard, letting me rub your belly and scratch behind your ears, giving you warm baths and blow drying and brushing your hair, giving you treats and chew bones that you enjoyed and deserved, sharing the recliner while watching TV and sharing a pillow and snuggling closely thoughout the night together. Not to mention covering you with hugs and kisses when we did all this ~ ~ just so we could get up and do it all over again.
I miss you .... Dear God ... I miss you.
I am lost without you.
Although your gone, you're cetainly not forgotten and never will be.
You are forever in my heart and everyday that passes means I am one day closer to being reunited with you again.
I love and miss you Zoe.
You'll always be mama's lil' punkin pie.
Mama

I miss you today ~ the sunshine is so bright. I know in my heart, if you were here with my now, you'd be taking a nap in the sun.
Love you Zoe.
Mama

Oh, Deanna

That last picture of Zoe is so adorable. And....your baby has that "listening" pose. So you know every word you set down here is heard by a very very pretty Angel who is a part of you and will be forever.

Hugs to you and Zoe

Awwww......Lovethem ~Thank you
~ As I talk and write to her, I do hope she can hear and see every word. It's coming straight from my heart.
Good to hear from you, hope things are going ok for you. I am taking it one day at a time to heal from losing my adorable angel, Zoe.
You take care, I can't thank you enough for your kind words.
Cyber Hug
Deanna

Hi Deanna,

Wow those pictures are cute! Her coat is all shimmery and silver. She looks like one of my best friend's dogs, whom I personally adore. I just wanted to say you shouldn't feel like a broken record. If you want to say things every day over and over, you should. No one here minds, I know that I have left notes for Oliver and others here have used their threads to say a few quick words to their babies too, almost like a journal. We have to deal enough with censoring it with others, this place is a haven from that so literally post until your heart's content.

Oliver's Mama,
Thanks so much for your kind words. Yes, I kept Zoe pretty clean ....I'd let her run and play and dig in the backyard and she'd get so dirty sometimes, however, she knew, mama would clean her up and make her silky and shiny again. I loved her so much...clean or dirty. (ha)
Again, thanks. Your support, as well as, many others, on this website has been Godsend.
With much appreciation,
Deanna

Hi Zoe
You've been on my mind heavily the past couple of days. I received your doggie license renewal notice in the mail and it upset me terribly. I returned it along with a letter explaining to the Metro Animal Services department that I had lost you in a tragic accident, and that you were waiting for me at the Heavenly Gates and that you didn't need a license anymore, due to the fact that God doesn't require them. haha
I miss you sweetheart.
Love you more than life right now.....
Mama

Hi, Deanna

Those little "surprises" in the mail are something we don't think about and don't need to see....it is more heartbreak
when they show up.

But I did like your answer....someone at that office must have felt badly reading it. But to them it is just business.

When I look at Zoe, and my Little Guy and his siblings, and so many beautiful babies here....ooh do I wish I could wave a magic wand and say....."we want them back..healthy, happy, for many more years...and we want them back NOW."
And everyone here was reunited with their special ones.

How's that for a fantasy?

When I lost Little Guy's sister in 2006...when my husband stopped at the vets to buy some Laxatone for my Little Guy..the last baby left...the sheet the vet would print up had his sister's name on it so one day I called and asked them to please change that as she was deceased and it hurt to see her name printed on a current receipt...just another reminder that she is gone.
They did that for me but yeah...when you see their name unexpectedly...it's like..why doesn't everyone know my baby is gone...I know..why don't they?

Hugs, Deanna

Your answer to their unfeeling computer was just perfect.

Judy

Judy,
Hi Dear ~
As always, it is so good to hear from you.
Yes, that little surprise I received in the mail... it just about dropped me to my knees, right in the middle of my yard when I opened and began reading it about her license renewal. They were kind of mean stating I was deliquent and they were going to charge me additional fees, etc. In addition, to opening my wound of losing Zoe, it really upset me that the letter was worded so mean. Zoe's license renewal was always handled at her vet's office, so I hadn't received anything like this before. Although, my husband mentioned there was another surprise that came from the vet's office about her renewal shots. This was without my knowing....he took it upon himself to call the vet's office to inform them of Zoe's accident and that they could discard her records.... (sigh...). When I received the notice, it upset me so bad ...I came in and just threw it garbage. Although, I begin to think about it long and hard, so I decided to get it back out of the garbage to read it fully (I wasn't able to do so, when I first opened it). Anyway....at the bottom of the notice, it had a place or a box that you could just "check" stating you no longer own the dog. I could not bring myself to "just check a box" to let them know she was no longer with me. Hello people? Zoe's gone! How dare you send this to me! That's when I came up with the idea of writing a letter to let them know this precious furry soul no longer needed the license, that God didn't require them. My husband loved it ....he said be sure and mail that ...I told him I had planned on it....and I did. (Those people are probably going to think I'm physco, but I don't care). I'm trying to letting the world know she's gone and that she's missed terribly.

Love the fantasy .....I would love to have that magic wand to bring our angels home NOW.
I would have given anything to need to pay for the license renewal!
Hugs back to you and your Little Guy
Deanna

Deanna,

You said:
I would have given anything to need to pay for the license renewal!



My answer is:

AMEN!!!!!!!!


Judy

Hey Sweetheart,
This morning was a tough one. It was one of my "firsts" without you. I woke up at about 2:30 in the morning thinking about it and couldn't go back to sleep. It was Zack's first day back to school and I missed you "helping me" get him up. You know how hard it is to get Zack motivated, however, you were always able to wake him up fairly easy and in a good mood. As sad as I was, I didn't want to mention it to Zack to upset him, but he mentioned it .... so he remembered. "There was something missiing this morning ~ and it was you." You brought such joy in our lives in everything we did and we miss it and you terribly.
It's been a really sad day without you.
I miss and love you so much....
You are forever in my heart,
Mama

Hey Zoe,
Mama's struggling through another morning without you. This time of the morning was our "quality morning time" for just you and I ... (you know before the rest of the gang got up to get ready for school and work).
You are dearly missed.
I'll miss and love you forever,
Love
Mama

The "firsts" can be so hard Deanna. The "seconds" aren't a whole lot easier. It's difficult to find another way of life when the one we knew so well has gone. It's like learning to walk all over again. Each step leads to another and eventualy will take you to a place of renewal in peace and happiness again.

I send you love and sunshine as you contemplate the day ahead of you.

God's peace and blessings,
Beth

Good Evening Beth,
Yes, these "firsts" have been really hard for me. As well as the "seconds".... are so tough too. .. (as you could tell from my comment this morning. I thought to myself "ok" you made it through the first time of getting my son up for school, so I thought last night that this morning would be alil' easier.....wrong. You worded it so well, with it's difficult to find a different way of life, when the one we knew so well is gone.
I am trying so hard of working on that peace and happiness again...but it's a slow process.
You are too sweet,
When I read your reply this morning ...it did make a difference in my day. (A positive difference).
I think the world of you ~
Deanna

I'm glad that what I said to you made a postive difference in your day Deanna. But, you're right when you say it's a slow process to find peace and healing. I think if I combined all the sadness, grief, and pain I had ever experienced before Goliath passed away and mulitplied by 1000, it couldn't even come close to how I felt when Goliath died in my arms that dreadful night. Staying in postive environments and thoughts helped me along the way. It does take time..........LOTS of time. Sometimes I say my favorite prayer. Maybe it will help you too.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change
The courage to changes the things I can
And the wisdom to know the difference.

Hugs,
Beth

You've made another good point. My whole 42 years of my life's sadness, grief and pain added together x 1000 could never measure up to what I felt when Zoe died the night of June 12th. Before I laid her her little lifeless body down in a chair before we buried her, I held that baby in my arms for about 10 minutes and cried the hardest I ever had in my life and I did it all night long, and when I woke up the next day, I felt competely numb with disbelief of trying to accept that she was really gone. It happened so fast. We went for a walk about 7:15pm, came home about 8:30, walked to the neighbors house immediately afterwards at 8:40pm, then at about 9:00pm was when she darted after the rabbit and then she was gone. We buried her that evening about 10:30pm. In just a matter of a few hours that night, my life is changed forever. I will never completely recover from losing her. I was guilty of taking her for granted.
With your help, and with everyone else's support on this site, I am doing ok. I have made progress in my grieving.
I want to thank you. I wouldn't be where I'm at today without all of you.

Thanks for recommending .... I am very familar with the Serenity Prayer ~ I say it to myself just about every other day .... it sure helps.

Beth~ Thank you
Deanna

Hey Zo....
I missed you this morning....and you will be missed throughout the day as well.
Miss and Love you sooooo much,
Mama

Hey Sweetheart,
It's those quiet morning hours that sadden me terribly. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you.
Love you more than life right now,
Mama

Hey Zoe ~
You're on my mind and in my heart today. I will carry good memories of you at the same time I am missing you.
I will love you forever and a day.....
Mama

yep ....you've been on my mind all day and I am missing you....what I would give to have you in my arms again.....
i miss you little girl .....
mama

Hi Deanna.............I know what you mean and feel when you say you would give anything to have Zoe in your arms again. It's so hard to learn to live in an unfamiliar way. Something like learning to walk all over again. Baby step after baby step...........then a little big bigger step.

Sometimes I miss Goliath so much it hurts. When I take Browser to school, the vivid memories of school times with Goliath surface and it about kills me. That old feeling of getting hit in the gut comes on and I know the tears are about to spill. School days with Goliath were always the highlight of our week along with the training and playing inbetween.

The missing never ends Deanna and I too would give anything to hold Goliath in my arms again. One day you will hold Zoe again forever, just as I will hold Goliath. They're both in God's loving hands now and if I can't have Goliath in my arms, I do find some peace knowing he is in the Lord's caring hands.

Be well and happy Deanna. I think of you often and wonder how you are doing. Take care of yourself and please keep in touch.

Hugs my friend,
Beth

Deanna,

I just found this group last week. I wanted to say how sorry I am about you losing your girl. I had two cats that were brother that were both hit by cars. George Walker was a kitten and Danny was 3 1/2 year old. At least you got to be with her at the end. I had taken Danny to the get and he had to stay there they were checking for how much damnage was done. I alwasy bring another cat when something bad happens. I didn't take Anne and the next morning the phone rung and I knew it wa the vet calling to tell me Danny had died.

How I wish I brought him home over night so I could be with him. 3 years later Dylan w as brought int omylife. I lost him April 26, 2008 to chronic renal failure with hypertention.

My prayers are with as you deal with losing Zoe.

God bless,
Michelle

Hi Michelle ~
It was so good to hear from you. Thank you for your condolences. That's true ...Zoe was snug in my arms when she took her last breath and completely relaxed. I kissed her face the whole time begging her to please don't go, however, God decided it was time for her to be with him.
My heart goes out to you with your situation with losing Danny and Dylan. I'm sure it's been hard for you.
I miss Zoe so much.
Thanks so much dear for keeping me in your prayers while I deal with my mixed emotions of losing Zoe.
She's forever in my Heart,
Again, thanks
Take care
Deanna

Dearest Deanna, your precious fur baby Zoe came to visit with you and wished to stay for a while and shower you with Oodles and Boodles of Love (see the hearts?) and also to show you how beautiful it is at The Rainbow Bridge. It's just like home! See the bottom twinkling photo where a light passes from left to right every few seconds? Those are Angels watching over you and your fur baby Zoe!


http://www.flektor.com/view/_1220291209_79...283_2_0_002_026

http://www.flektor.com/view/_1220291293_57...422_2_0_005_001


Big Comforting Hugs to You and Your Fur Baby Zoe!!!

Always,
Dottie xoxoxox

Thank you Dottie ~ you are always so sweet and always seem to bring a positive feeling of me being surrounded by my sweet lil' Zoe.
I really appreciate your support,
Deanna

Zoe, I missed you today sweetheart.
I love you more than my heart can hold.
Mama

Deanna that is sweet. I know your Zoe hears everyword you say!!!!!!!!

Hugs to You and you Angel Zoe!!!!!!!

Thanks so much Sissycat ~ that makes me feel good .... I want Zoe to know her legacy will live on in my heart.
Hugs back to you, hope you're doing ok.
Good to hear from you,
Have a good day,
Your cyber friend,
Deanna

Took the words right outta my mouth.

Hang in there.

Candy's Dad

Very cool Hal ~ great minds think alike.
God Bless you and Candy,
Deanna

She knows Deanna. How can a heart not house such a gift of love such as your Zoe brought to yours. Yes, her legacy lives on and always will.

Love and hugs,
Beth

Thank you so much Beth. You've taught me well, to believe Zoe is alive and well in my heart ... she's my heartbeat that keeps me going everyday.
Hope your days are continuing to go well for you.
Take care,
Lots of love to you, Browser, Gidget and, of course, Goliath
Deanna

Dearest Deanna, as I explained to Jan, it's so difficult to put my thoughts into words rather than images, songs, poems, the like and, believe it or not, I am crying so hard for the loss of your most precious, cherished fur child Zoe and you too because I know exactly how devastated you're feeling, the sorrow, grief, void, loneliness. I hope and pray that these images I made to hopefully cheer you up a bit, lift your spirits and put a teeny tiny smile on your face won't be taken the wrong way. I want SO MUCH to comfort you and ... Tears! Sorry. This is what came to my mind to do. Gosh, I hope I can see through my tears to post what I did. Please, Dear God. Please bring these a small smile to Dearest Deanna's face. Please. Thank you, God!

Okay, here's Zoe singing and she thinks no one is listening but you caught her in the act! Oh My, she's ever so embarrassed! Here are the images. First without frame, then two different frames. Unfortunately, the frames make the text a bit smaller. God Bless You, Dear One!!!











Tons of Hugs and Lotsa Love to You and your Precious Fur Baby Zoe!!!

Always,
Dottie xoxoxox

PS. Please don't sneak up and eves drop in the future when Zoe is singing. Okay?

Hi Dottie ~
You did it ....it brought a smile to my face.
Yes, I still deal with the pain of losing Zoe everyday. I miss her so much. I try really hard to think of the happy, fun loving memories of her and I together, however, the sadness of her not being with me overwhelms the happy thoughts at this point. Don't get me wrong, I am doing better, but it still hurts. I can't thank you enough for your support. You are such a thoughtful and caring person when providing support to someone who has lost a fur baby.
Again, thanks
Deanna



***Here's a pic of Zoe when she was ready to run a lap around the sectional for me to get her toy from her.*** I miss playing with her.

Deanna

I love your photos of Zoe. She is such a beautiful baby. Her time came much too soon but then anytime is too soon because we want them with us forever. We love them forever. We will miss them forever. Pictures help bring a smile to our faces when we look into such a precious face. She is definitely one that makes us want to scoop her up and hug her tightly.

We never lose touch with their soul and spirit because those are within our hearts.

So rest assured, your Zoe, being one of the prettiest Angels, is just sitting on a cloud watching "Mom" and maybe turning her head to the side to hear a little better...any words you send to her...whether here in a post or at home in your thoughts.

I just know Angels are always listening....and they know how we feel.

Hugs
Judy

THANK YOU JUDY
I am very happy to continue to post pictures of Zoe. She was a beautiful furry soul. Anyone who knows me, knew Zoe was my life. I talked about how beautiful she was inside and out. I would pick her up off the floor, all throughout every day, to give her a snug hug and to kiss her little face and tell her that mama loves her so much. I had her completely rotton.

I do believe her soul and spirit lives within my heart. I talk to her every day. A part of me went with her.

Your words are so comforting me assuring me Zoe's watching and listening to "mom".

You take care ..... it is really good to hear from you.
Keep in touch,
Hugs back to ya ~
Deanna

Hey Zo ~
Mama's still missing and thinking of you all throughout my days.
Love you forever.....

One of my babies are missing in the picture ..... it's you Zoe!
We all miss you ... you made our family complete and full of joy.
You will forever be in our hearts!
Love Mama, Daddy, Chelsea & Zack

Oh Deanna! What a sweet picture that is of all 3 of your kids. Zoe is actually posing for the shot. What a little camera queen she was.

Hugs, Beth

I just got finished reading your last posts and looking at all the pics of the happy times and I see so much love and not knowing it had two big tears coming down my face and thought about my Buster and the happy pics I also have and saw my self there back again, you and all your family look so good together it is very easy to describe, God Bless you all, always, Jorge Click to view attachment

Good Morning Beth and Jorge ~
It's been three months today since Zoe's accident. Oh...what a sad three months it's been.
Yes, those are all my "three" kids. I miss the little furry one. Yes, Zoe, was quite the camera queen ....everytime I had my camera out, I would call her name and she always gave me her full attention, as you can tell I have quite a few pictures of her looking straight at me. In that picture, you can see, my daughter Chelsea, was holding her. We had her sooo rotten. If it wasn't myself (which I did all the time), she was more in someone's arms than running around on the floor. heehee Anytime she would jump on anyone's leg ~ they were sure to pick her up. Anytime there was a group of us talking around the table, yep, she was in my lap.
Oh, you're so right Jorge, so many wonderful memories. I miss making more of them. Also, thanks to you both for the nice compliments of my family. They are precious to me.
Thank you both soooo much for your caring comments.
I really do appreciate them. I've said it many times before, but I really, really don't know what I would do without you good people with such big hearts and understanding of my painful heartache of losing my adorable lovable Zoe.
Much love to you both.
You're always in my thoughts and prayers.
Deanna

What a great picture!!!!

I bet Zoe would have hammed it up for the camera.

Glad your hanging in there.

Take care

Hal
Candy's Dad