I understand totally the void you feel every time you see Jade. I had that with Zeus in a huge way (and still do at times). At first when Zita was gone he seemed to enjoy some of the extra attention but within a couple of months he was not his normal self, he could be downright crabby at times. Every cat is different I guess, but Zeus is a cuddly boy and Zita and him were always together. Seeing him alone made me almost not want to see him, if you can understand this feeling. Because he and Zita were like "one" to me.

I started to think that maybe if I could find a cat that was a littermate (I know that sounds far fetched but...) maybe he could have a similar relationship. Zita was an orange tabby female and they are not so common. I saw a picture of a female orange tabby that looked like Zeus on the local SPCA website. So out of curiousity I went to look at her. I didn't feel a bond with her, but I noticed another female orange tabby who had amazingly similar body language to Zita. I knew the vet where she was getting spayed and asked about her, but they said they thought she was skittish. So I put it out of my mind for awhile. Then something made me go back. When I picked her she had the same huge purr that Zita had, and even my husband recognized that this was a special cat.

Zeus hissed at her at first, but he continually followed her around, and she him. Within a day she was laying on the bed with my dogs (not so skittish after all). Then she and Zeus started to play games - she runs down the stairs and tries to make him chase her. They do those silly cat games where one chases and the other leaps a mile into the air in response. A few days ago they found a green fuzzy frog (supposed to be a dog toy) and they were leaping and throwing it around like nothing I've ever seen.

They cuddle "a bit", not like Zita, but they occasionally get close. I think that relationship will grow also. Zeus is more cuddly with me now and not so crabby.

The main thing that has given me some peace is that Zeus is more content now. He really is a cat that needs a friend. I will never be "over" Zita. I still cry when I think about her. I still want her back. But I am here and she isn't. And I have to make the best of it.

I think both Zita and Nova were sort of "supercats" - I've lost 2 cats before but it was never like this. Not because the others weren't special, but Zita gave me so much that I had never experienced in a cat. Ziggy is not Zita but she has her own unique endearing characteristics. Like, she has a thing about sinks (Zita used to lay in them). Ziggy runs to the sink whenever you want to wash your hands, brush your teeth etc and wants you to run a tiny bit of water for her to drink. She also will *not* allow Zeus to eat her food (he used to eat Zita's food because she was so gentle and sweet that she would let him). She bats him in the head quite gently, but firmly. They are entertaining together, but in a different way than Zeus and Zita.

I think I would have continued to feel that deep void without Ziggy. I think of her as my "helper" cat. She helps me accept this devastating loss.

Also, if there is one positive thing from Zita's loss (and that's hard for me to write even now), it is that Ziggy now has a loving home.

I hope that helps you...

Jan

Dearest NovaJade, I'm so sorry you had to see your kitty pass like that. I know what you mean when you say the image stays in your brain. When Bue took his last breaths he let out the same meow.

I can tell you that by coming here, it may help you in your grief, most of the people here are wonderful, and caring. They actually care about you, and what you're going through.

I know I'm really late in responding to you, I'm sorry.

Hi - just wondering how you are doing?

You lost Nova about the same time I lost Zita. I still grieve her.

I accept she isn't coming back, but not really willingly. I haveoften "seen" glimpses of her from the corner of my eye and I do believe she visits. Of course it is not the same.

I am able not to obsess about her, but really I don't think a day goes by that I don't think of her on some level.

I was just wondering about how you are coping and how you have managed to deal with your loss? Some people seem to get over it so quickly. I know it was much different when I lost my elderly dog to old age because in many ways I had already "lost" him. It is so much more difficult with a young animal that dies unexpectedly, at least it was for me.

Anyway, I hope you are doing well, and I think about everyone who posted their condolences for me when I was going through such a very difficult time.

Thanks to all.

Jan