Hi to all,



It's been 3-4 years since my precious cat Babe was diagnosed with mammary gland adenocarcinoma. She had surgery x2 in 2003 and no more recurrence of the cancer until now. She had another tumor removed 4 weeks ago. I took her to a specialist the other day who did xrays and found that she has mestastases to the lungs. He has given her weeks to less than 2 months to live.



My baby just turned 17 on Sunday. I have never loved an animal so much in my life. I kind of had a feeling that this was going to happen but it hit me like a load of bricks when I found out that it was reality. I am grieving so bad right now and am just emotionally devastated. This cat has been my life and like my child. I am 8 months pregnant with my first human baby. Babe dying has always been my subconscious fear, and it's finally coming true. I just can't quit crying. I don't want her to suffer and be in pain. I'm so hopeless and depressed right now. My every thought is consumed with her. I am already thinking about how lonely I'm going to be when I get home from work late at night and she won't be meeting me at the door, or waking me up in the morning wanting her super suppers.



I'm just so sad.



Boogi3

Boogi3

I'm so sorry you are losing your baby, Babe. It's just so hard to lose them. I can tell by your post how much you love her.

17 years is a long time to have a cat. I'll bet you don't have many memories that don't include Babe. It will be hard to lose her. She is your baby and your love. Right now try to concentrate on holding her and kissing her and loving her. Try not to morn her before she is gone, I know it's hard. You have precious time now that you won't have later.

Thinking of you and Babe

I'm so sorry to hear about Babe. I had only 2 days after I found out I was losing my Alley, so I can only imagine how you must feel knowing that it will happen sometime in the next weeks.

Like Lori said, don't mourn her before you have to, but spend the time you have left, loving and holding her as much as you can. You can't save her, but you can make her last days happy and full of love. I just hope you are prepared to do the right thing if she starts to suffer towards the end.

Sometimes the last and best loving thing we can do for our beloved pets, is to let them go.

You and Babe will be in my thoughts.

I totally understand......you are so not alone here. There is a spot on the porch where he last laid, and I just keep looking at his fur there. And I did the same thing with the vac%%, too. I doubt we are the only ones........

Hang in there.......I keep telling myself it will get better as the months go by......

Misty's Mama

I am so sorry I posted the wrong reply to your post, intended for the one below it.....

I am so sorry to hear what you are going through. IT's so hard to lose one child while having another.......my heart reall goes out to you and I am sending good thoughts your way.......

Misty's Mama

Boogi3,

I'm very sorry to hear about your Babe's expected crossing. I know somewhat what you're going through as I lost my Sabin only a month after he was diagnosed with cancer that had already metastisized to his lungs (from where, we never did find out), although unlike you, there had been no past history or warning related to this in previous years. I also recently lost his sister, Nissa, after 6.5 yrs. of kidney disease, and she was 19 yrs, 7 months old, so I can relate to the anticipated (and now reality) anguish over losing someone who was your furchild for all those many years.

There is an advantage though, to 'seeing it coming', even if you can't know just when you will lose someone. And here, I'd like to respectfully express a slight difference of opinion in dealing with your anticipatory grief. You can't not grieve in advance, for the simple reason that you already are grieving. Not only can this not be turned off at the flick of a magic switch, but there are opportunities in anticipatory grief that you may not realize. To quote from "How To Go On Living When Someone You Love Dies" by Therese A. Rando, Ph.D., "...you have the golden opportunity to say and do things during the illness that may help not only you, your dying loved one, and other family members, but which may create a more positive bereavement experience after the death for those of you left behind...It has been well docu*mented by research that your experience in your loved one's dying process will have a profound effect on your grief after his death."

In anticipatory grief, you are also already mourning 3 time frames: past, present and future. Because of this, it can in some ways be more challenging than the grief afterwards. In the grief afterwards, the future component has been removed for the most part, except for dreaming of your reunion after your own death, if you believe in that.

The only thing you want to avoid as much as possible is becoming prematurely detached from Babe. The key to healthy anticipatory grief is to "start to grieve the loss of a loved one in the future without separating prematurely from him (her) now." You have the challenge of contradictory demands to deal with. You are simultaneously "holding on to, letting go of, and drawing closer to them." It's a complicated and very difficult time.

But, as I said, you have the opportunities to say and do everything you can think of (and we all seem to miss at least SOME of these, even with advance warning) to help both you and your baby 'prepare' for what will come later. This could mean thoughtful, loving talks you might have with Babe about anything you think is important to either one of you, to giving special treats that you'd avoided in the past (you might want to check with your vet first, though), to giving extra affection, to trying to anticipate and meet Babe's changing needs as she's ailing. Everything you can do now to address any regrets you think you may have later on, will serve you well after your dear one is physically gone. The more time and attention you devote to Babe now and the more you can accomodate what you think her wishes are, the less complicated your grief will be. You might also want to read the "Quality of Life" article in the Resources section, to become aware of things by which to gauge Babe's comfort levels in the coming weeks. All of this is no different than what you'd likely be doing during any human's dying days. Babe is your furchild....we all understand and accept that, as most of ours are the same. Just do your best, put Babe's needs in the forefront and visit here when you need to, or are able. We'll be here whenever you need someone.

Thank you to all for your kindness and support. I know you can emphathize with me as we are all here for the same reason. Right now my heart is just breaking and being torn/ripped apart. I love this cat so much. She has been my companion for so long. I have promised her I will not let her suffer. This is going to be one of the hardest things to do in my life - when it's time to let her go. Right now she is fine but I can see the changes. She's not as active anymore. It's just so scary..........

Oh, I know....sorry for all the blathering before. I guess I just wanted to try and help you see how to make the most of this time left with your baby. Sorry. I remember how utterly terrifying it is, too, trying to prepare for something you can't really 'prepare' for. It's a shock no matter what you know beforehand. Just know that you will probably find strengths you didn't know you had in you until you need them, all for your precious Babe. And if you can, try to take a smidgeon of comfort in trusting that they truly don't ever leave us, just as we would never leave them. They remain not only in our hearts, but around us in their spirit bodies, faithful to the bonds of love forged together through the years.

Yes, it is one of the hardest things we who love our babies so very much ever have to face, and it will hurt. But you'll have us here, to hold your hand and travel this road with lots of companionship. We're all here for the support we so desperatey need and want, just like you. Please keep us updated as you can. My thoughts are with you, now and in the times to come.

Dear boogi3,
I'm so sorry to hear about your dear Babe. Furkidlet's mum just about says it all. I know how you feel, as Furry was ill for 21 months before she died of heart disease in July 2006, only aged 12. All that time I knew she could pass away at any time. This date last year the vet had wanted to put her to sleep, but I wouldn't let him - & she recovered & had another 6 months of happy loving & life.
My biggest regret is that I had to go to work, so couldn't be with her all the time. I hope you will be able to spend all your time with Babe, as she may surprise the vets, just like my Furry did. Whatever happens, she has had those "extra" years because of the care you gave her when she was first ill with the cancer.
Take care of yourself & keep posting - this site is the only place where people understand
Judith

I have gone through what you are going through. My old boy Oswald had diabetes and was starting to have kidney problems. I remember crying quite a bit even though he was still with me, because I knew his days were drawing to a close. He was 17, too. (He is at the Rainbow Bridge now - eating all good things that he couldn't have because of his diabetes and chasing squirrels. I still miss him!)

This loving is bittersweet. Unlike animals, we know of mortality. It colours all of our relationships. Make the remainder of Babe's days special for both of you! You still have her to love now.

Thanks again for all of the replies. I'm just going day by day with Babe. She is still eating and drinking, but it seems not as much. When I pick her up, she feels lighter and thinner. I continually watch her breathing. This site has been an encouragement to me. I know all of ya'll are the same way about your animals and you truly understand. The hardest part is knowing that her day will be here soon and I'm so dreading the thought of having to make the decision to put her down. It will be the death of me. My mother says that maybe God and Babe got together - they knew it would be the end of her life and the beginning of my baby's life (I'm due in 4 weeks or less). I love Babe so much and this is just heartbreaking. Thanks for listening.

Babe's Mom,

Taking things day by day, or even hour by hour if need be, is one of the best aids to getting through this. The dread of what's to come is so overwhelming that it helps to stay in the individual moments whenever you can manage it. Reach for quietude and shared existence with Babe wherever you can.

I remember, too, standing or sitting and watching Sabin's breathing, even pulling out a stethoscope we'd bought, to see if I could hear anything telling that I might pass on to his vet. But people told me to quit being his nurse and just be his Mom. Those were wise words, for the most part. If I had known how soon he'd be gone, I wouldn't have wasted our time together doing things like that...things that turned out to be fruitless anyway (not that I knew that for sure, THEN). I worried about how I'd know it was 'time'. And our vet never did help me to know what to look for back then. Now I know....when Sabin's breathing became laboured and he couldn't curl up like a normal cat, THAT was the time. When he couldn't control his bladder anymore, that was the time. I waited too long, on the hopes of the last thing we were trying (a drug) to help save him. And as soon as I gave him telepathic and heartfelt permission to go (on his own, it turned out), he did. He'd just been waiting for me to let go and accept.

It won't make Babe recover, but now is the time to give her some of her fav*ourite foods and treats (or possibly even some new ones, or some catnip, which is a natural relaxant for the nerves; you might even make a tea from the leaves for your own nerves), while she's still able to eat, even if she doesn't eat that much. It may help her feel more content and loved, and give her something pleasurable to focus on for a few minutes...and you can then join her in that moment. It's time to give her everything that brings her any amount of happiness at all.

I said the same thing as you...."it will be the death of me", and it was a sort of mini-death, in that I lost who I'd been in relationship to my boy. No one is the same person they used to be, after a major loss. The same is true now after losing Nissa, his sister and my baby girl, in some ways exactly the same, and in some ways totally different, as befitted my relationship with her. We can't help but be changed, both through anticipatory grief and straight grief. But that's not always a bad thing, even though it feels like it for however long afterwards. Eventually though, most of us find meaning in our loss, in very personal ways, and that helps us through it....all in good time. But at the beginning, we usually feel lost.

I'm so sorry you are also having to 'marry' the birth of your child with the impending loss of your fur-child. I can't imagine how hard that must be for you and my heart breaks for you over this. The only 'positive' thing I can think of in relation to this is that at least right now you are able to give of yourself to Babe more than what you might be able to right after childbirth. It's not enough, I know, but it's a small 'blessing'. Whatever we can look to in the present and be even a bit thankful for, even if not until much later on, helps in the long run.

I remember my own, and empathize with your present despair and know how impossible it seems to deal with, and all I can really say is how sorry I am. If it helps bring you a sense of strength, know that the fact that this IS so impossibly difficult in your heart, is the mark of how much you love your Babe, and that same strength will help you help her, however you must. In the meantime, just let there be LOVE.

Furkidlets Mom,

You really have a way with words. You are so empathetic and encouraging. Thank you so much. You are a great support to everyone on this board with your kind words.

Can you see the picture of my beautiful Babe?

I wanted to share the one thing I think I can help with despite being paralyzed by grief. On September 27, 2006 my MoMo, after already being diagnosed with mast cell cancer (but I had the tumors removed), had an ultrasound that confirmed the presence of an adrenal tumor that had already grown into a vein and Cushing's Disease as a result. If I treated the Cushing's, it would make the cancer worse and vice versa. It was horrible. They didn't really know how long he had - they said months - and told me he could go at any time from a blood clot.

I mentioned in my post yesterday that I was between jobs at that point and I made a decision to stay home with him. I used my house money that I had put away, and I would do it again. The timing allowed me to be home, just like you will be when your baby arrives (and hopefully a little before).

I guess my point here is that I cried all the way home from the vet that day, and all night. I was "preparing" myself for the end. I was so filled with despair after that visit - I knew it was the beginning of the end. When I told her over the phone, my sister in law, who is not the most compassionate person at times but who can always be counted on to "tell it like it is" gave me precious advice: Don't mourn him now. Plenty of time for that later. Spend the time with him and don't let the sadness take away from it.

So I did that. I don't know how, but I did. I didn't cry in front of him. I never missed an opportunity for an "I love you" or a hug or a "you're so handsome"..his sister is still alive and I am repeating this for her as she is old and sick, although I am now working. I made my apartment a sanctuary....tabletop fountain, soothing music, tons of massages (affectionately called "MOssages")..I told him the same silly story about his life - how I got him, all the different places we lived in, when we got his sister Maisie - almost every night to soothe him and later, as he was being put down. You name it, I did it. And I told him regularly that when it was time, he just had to let me know by giving me a sign. I promised I would never let him suffer. And when his condition worsened, I told him every few days that he didn't have to be here for me..that when he felt he needed to go, he could go, and I was okay with it. Not to worry about me. It was the most beautiful few months of my life, and I consider myself so fortunate to have known it was coming.

I'm still raw from losing him, I cry every hour, and I'm still conflicted about putting him down when I did, but I do know this: the one thing that gives me comfort when I feel the horrible grief and guilt is the knowledge that I truly cherished every moment I had with him and I didn't take even one minute of that time for granted. This time with Babe is a gift. You have time to simply love each other.

I know just how you feel, and you and Babe are in my thoughts and prayers.

Mo&Maisies Mom,
Thank you so much for your kind and thoughtful words. It seems you know exactly how I'm feeling. Sometimes I feel like I'm going crazy. Like you, I am not crying in front of Babe. In the beginning when I first found out, I did cry all the time, just telling her how much I loved her. I decided that she would not want me to be so upset because her love for me is as great as the love I have for her. I'm off 4 days week and spend all of my time with her. Before I go to work at my 3 12 hour shifts, I get up early and spend time with her. Then at night after I get off of work, I spend time with her until it is time to go to bed, and we go to bed together. We are sleeping in a different room than my husband just so it can be me and her - like it used to be before I was married 7 years ago. My husband totally understands because he knows the deep bond I have with my cat. She is so spoiled and gets to do anything she wants - especially more than ever now. She loves getting brushed and is probably wondering why she is getting brushed more than ever before. She also likes getting to go outside on the side of the house and eating grass. She's probably wondering she is getting to do this so much as well because sometimes I would not let her when she wanted to (especially when cold, rainy, etc....). I am doing this now more than ever because I know how hateful guilt can be. When that day comes, I do not want to have anything to feel guilty about, although I know it will happen anyway, as guilt is cruel. I have been telling Babe that I will not let her suffer. That would tear my heart apart more than anything. I have never loved an animal so much in my life. She is my oldest living animal. I've had her since I was 19 and now I'm 36. We truly have a bond, and I love her more than alot of people I know - including relatives, I'm not ashamed to say. Anyway, I truly appreciate your heartfelt response and encouragement. I'm glad to know that there are others who truly know how I feel.

Boogi3

You are already making this time so worthwhile and beautiful. You're both so lucky to have had each other for all these years. I know how you feel - I love him more than anything or anyone - and he was with me through every major event in my life. You'll look back on this time and know how much love and devotion she felt from you. Please keep in touch.

Just want to say you and Babe are in my thoughts and prayers tonite.
Blessings to you both,
Steve

Boogi3 and Mo&Maisie's Mom,

You 2 are very wise and loving souls, who know just what's important! I was nodding in total agreement with every word you each said.

I tried, too, to not cry in front of my girl, Nissa, when it became apparent she wouldn't be with us much longer....though at times I simply couldn't help it as the emotions were just too strong and uncontrollable. But I knew she understood that it was a reflection of my utter love for her that drove me to tears. It's all okay, though. Heavens....they know us even better than we know ourselves half the time!

You both are doing, and have done, so much of the best things for your babies. Bless you for that. I tried to pack as much of the same things into Nissa's last months, weeks, then days, too, but also tried not to get too 'melodramatic' about it all, either, fearing that would send me over the edge of my courageous front, and sap the last vestiges of strength that I needed to remain calmer for her. It wasn't easy. But like you, MoMo's Mom, I somehow found a way, even if it wasn't perfect.

I did end up with a few regrets, though, but some of them had to do with my extreme exhaustion from years of worry and effort. My therapist called my 'omissions' a move into a "healthier" state, though, as they had to do with trying to find a balance between all of Nissa's care and a much smaller portion of self-care. Not easy, either. But I did what best I could at the time, considering everything.

I do wish I'd done as you have, boogi3, in sleeping with your baby in a different bed. Or rather, in my case, I wish I'd have asked my H to move to the other bedroom, so Nissa and I could have stayed in our usual place, because this has to do wtih one of my regrets. For years I used to softly yak to Nissa as we'd do our bedtime kissing routine and it was one of the nicest times to speak to her of my love. But my H grew weary of me "making noise" when he was trying to get to sleep, so I'd stopped the yakking part, and tried to be quieter with the kisses, too. (never mind that HIS snoring was 3x's as loud as anything WE did! ) Now, I've wished that I'd gone back to our old routine in the last while when she was getting sicker. I hadn't wanted her to miss her Daddy's presence, either, though, so was conflicted about this and never acted on it. But considering that I loved her more than he did and she loved me more than him (yes, he agrees with all this), now I don't think I chose rightly. So you're wise to listen as closely to what your HEART tells you than to anything else. Once we have these regrets, it becomes a terrible inward battle to try and live with them, knowing we can NEVER do them over. So you're entirely right in trying your best to not miss doing anything you can possibly think of, so that you won't have anything to apologize for later on.

Like you, I'm also not the least bit ashamed to say that I love my kids more than anyone else in the entire world. We're parents, and that's all there is to it!

And my....Babe is such a beautiful little liiiiion! What a mane!

Mo's & Maisie's Mom.....I'm so sorry for your loss of Mo. I read your story and was so touched by and glad for the dedication you showed to him in his final months. Like your Mo, Nissa got me through the absolute WORST times of my life...and there were many. It's so incredibly hard now, with no furbaby and especially not HER, to get me through her own departure. So I know how awful it can be when someone that hugely important isn't there anymore. You, too, are a remarkable mom and Mo was very, very lucky to have you, as you were to have him.

I salute you both and wish you all the strength and peace I can imagine, to see you through these trying days and nights.

Babe is so beautiful. I can't imagine what it must be like, to know that each day with her is numbered and that you must be saying goodbye to her soon. When I lost Alley, I wasn't able to be there with her, and had only 2 days from the time I found out she was dying, to the time I had them put her to sleep. Being able to be there with Babe is a precious gift you have and in the years to come, you will be able to look back and be glad that you had that time. I know you are doing everything you can to make her feel loved beyond all doubt.

When the time comes, you will know. She will let you know that she is ready. Be strong, for her, and for yourself. She may just be waiting for the baby to come, so that she knows you are not alone.

Please give her a big hug and a scratch under the chin for me. I'll be thinking of you both.

Boogi3

Oh your Babe is so beautiful. I'm so sorry. You are making the most of the time you have left, that will be a great comfort to you.

It's so hard to understand our feelings when there is birth and death happening so close. Your reality is going to change so much. The death of a much loved one and then the birth of your baby. So much so soon would make me feel like the world was unstable. Just hang on. You are surrounded by so much love, hold onto that.

Love

Well, I think she is starting to go down. She's not eating or drinking as much so I think she is dehydrated. When I pinch her skin together at her shoulder blades, it does not go down quick at all - stays pinched up and slowly goes down. She is sleeping alot more and just seems weak. This is just horrible. I really don't understand why this is happening. My baby is due in 2 weeks. My husband said this morning on the way to church that he just does not understand why this is happening now (or just happening for that matter) - the birth of our baby will always be marked with the death of my precious furbaby. He says he knows everything has a purpose - but what's the purpose? I keep on asking God to take her peacefully and painlessly, but unfortunately, I think I will have to take her in one day in the near future. I really think that her not eating and drinking will kill her before the cancerous tumors in her lungs will. It's just so sad. Please keep us in your prayers. It's the hardest thing ever.

Sheri

I am so sorry you have to say goodbye to Babe. She is very lucky to be in such a caring family that is willing to go through the pain of loss so that she won't have to suffer in her last days of life. You're right in your comment that it is the absolutely hardest thing to do. Be brave when you go and show a smiling face to Babe as you say goodbye. It will mean much to her to go peacefully with people who love her around. There will be a time to cry and mourn afterwards. Help her to celebrate the special girl she is for both of you as you bid her farewell.

May your remaining time at home with her be tranquil and beautiful. You might also check on pain medication such as Tramadol if Babe is in discomfort. Give her a head pat for me.

Sheri,

I've thought of you often and wondered how you were doing. I'm so sorry to read about Babe's condition. I'm crying for you right now, and for Babe. You're such a strong and loving mom.

I have no explanation for why this is happening so close to your baby's birth, but I have often been hurt and confused by life events only to understand years later why things unfolded as they did. We might never know, but she needs all of you right now and until the baby is born, you can continue to give 100% of yourself to her.

Peacefully and painlessly might mean making the decision yourself. If she doesn't go peacefully on her own, you will know when it's time. There will be a moment when you make the decision and even though you won't feel like you'll survive it, you will. And everyone will be here to help you.

I will be praying for you, your husband and Babe. Please reach out when you need support. God bless you for being so strong for her.

Jen

Sheri

Reading this makes me so so sad, and reminds me so much of that day I had to make the same decision for my Alley. I wish there were some words to say to make this easier for you, but there just aren't any. She loves you and I'm so glad that you have this time with her. When the time comes, you will know what to do. This truly is the hardest decision you will have to make, but when it comes right down to it, its easy, because the alternative is for her to suffer in the end. When you factor that into the choice, there is no choice at all, but to do what is right for Babe.
Just enjoy what time you have left with her. Treasure those moments. They will help you get through this. Please give your girl a hug and some petting for me.

I'll be keeping you both in my thoughts.

I really understand how you feel. My first human child, my son, came home on March 16, 2005 at the age of 8 months. My beloved Daisy, my beautiful yorkshire terrier, passed away less than a month later. Some people said that I shouldn't feel so bad since I had my son. I knew that they didn't just understand. They didn't understand that nothing, not even the great joy of finally having a child, could ease the pain of losing my longtime companion, my best friend, my furbaby, my heart.

Just make every day a happy one for Babe. If she lives until your baby arrives, make sure that she still gets a lot of attention. If the time comes that you have to let the vet help her leave, be with her, hold her and tell her how much you love her as she goes. You will never regret that you were there for her.

Congratulations on your baby! It is a true blessing. The pain of losing Babe will not mar the joy when your baby arrives, just as the joy will not ease the pain when Babe passes away. They are separate feelings, arising from different causes.

Daisy's Mommy

I am sorry this is happening to you and Babe. Apart from having a baby on the way (congrats!) I know how you are feeling. I knew about 2 weeks in advance that I was going to lose my best friend and it hit me like a brick wall. I was just a lurker here at the time and reading all the posts here did help me alot.

Make sure you have plenty of pictures and video, if you can get video. You will be so glad you have them later on.

When the time comes tell her how much you love her and look her in the eyes the whole time so you are the last person she sees and hears. If she has a favorite blankie take that with you so she can lay on it instead of the bare table, if you are not able to hold her.

Come here as much as you want/need to share your grief with us. That is what we are here for. Use the Pet Memorials, Tributes, and Eulogies section of this forum to post your favorite memories, photos, etc. Good memories are a great way to heal.

My thoughts are with you and Babe.

I share your sadness because I lost my cat, Sable, who was 17 1/2 years in January. It was rough, but I received such encouragement here. The tears are natural, normal and healthy. Your Babe will remain in your heart forever because of the great love you share with one another. Make sure you have LOTS of pictures...that seemed to help me.

I will be thinking of you.

Sherli

Sheri

I'm just so sorry for you honey. This is one of the hardest things you'll ever have to do. I'm thinking of you.

Love

Thank you all for your empathy and kindness. I'm so scared that when I go into labor and have to stay in the hospital for a couple of days that Babe will suffer when I'm gone (if she makes it until then). I feel helpless about this. I'm also stressed about after the baby is born because people will be in and out and I'm afraid that she will be so stressed in her last days. I'm such a worrywort, but I just can't help it.

I don't think you're a worrywort - I think your concerns are all legitimate. I would feel the same way. I'm just so sorry that you're going through this. I'm wondering if your vet has given you any idea of how long she might have, or how to handle the dehydration or discomfort (if she's in any?). I know how hard it is to watch them decline.

Sending you a big hug...

You might find out about getting a qualified vet tech to come into your home to administer sub-cu. fluids to her if she's dehydrated, if you can't do those yourself. If nothing else, it would help her to feel a bit better. (check with the vet as to how much, which type and how often this would be advised)

I feel terribly sorry for you both, and your concerns about Babe are only natural.

Hi all,
I had my baby on 3/10/07. He is a little blessing and is so beautiful. Babe does not know really what to think, but she does not mind him at all. I think she somehow knows he is a part of me. As for Babe, she is slowly declining before my eyes. She looks so tired now and and is getting slower. It is breaking my heart. She still has some quality of life - eating, sleeping, walking around, etc. But I know that the time is coming soon. I hate feeling the tumor grow underneath her arm and wonder just how big the ones in her lungs are. Also, I wonder if the cancer is spreading throughout her body and that is why she is becoming so much more tired and not as alert. I keep on telling her to let me know when it is time to go and that it is okay. Please continue to keep us in your prayers.

Boogi

I will keep you in my prayers....i understand more than you know........

please know we are thinking of you........Misty's mama

That's one of the toughest parts, isn't it. If only they could tell us. I pray that she will make the journey on her own when it is her time, but if she may need your help, I know your heart...your love for her...will help you know when it is time.

Congratulations on your new baby...I'm glad all went well. I, too, had my baby girl just 11 days before I had to let my Sasha go...it was so very emotional. The joy of my new daughter was sadly overshadowed by the grief of losing my Sasha. I'm glad she held on, though. I'm glad they got to meet (does that sound crazy ?).

I just wanted you to know that you were in my thoughts...
Kim

Congratulations on your new baby. I'm so sorry that this joyous time in your life is dampened by the impending loss of your dear Babe. Hang in there. She will let you know when it is time. Have you ever considered contacting an animal communicator? That might be a great way to truly find out how Babe is feeling and what her wishes are...

Boogi

It's so sad to watch them decline, I'm so sorry to hear that Babe is slowing down so much. I'll continue to pray for her. I'll keep you in my thoughts.

Big congrats on the baby! He sounds like a little darling. While we all know the roller coaster it must be so hard for you. So happy about the baby and so sad about Babe.

Kim

No I don't think you sound crazy. If it gives you comfort that they got to know each other, it's all good. Congrats on your little girl too!

Love

Congrats on your little boy and I'm so sorry that you're watching Babe's decline. You have been on my mind a lot, as has Babe, and I am praying that she will go peacefully. She will let you know when it is time. I asked Mo to give me a sign and he did - loud and clear. Please keep us posted..

Boogi3-
I am so sorry to hear about your sweet Babe. I lost Kuba the same week I found out that I was pregnant. She was my first 'baby'-there is nothing quite like that relationship that you have with the pet who sees you through all the hard times.
She was my sweetest baby who helped me through broken hearts, my granfather's death and my miscarriages.

Your new baby will help heal your heart. My biggest regret was letting Kuba go when it was right for her. That is guilt that will never go away. I just put my little Gila to sleep yesterday morning. This time I let her go when she was ready-not when I was ready to let her go. It was just as awful for me but I have to believe it was the right thing for her. I love and miss her so much. This time it is my two girls who are helping me through the grief.

I wish you all the best. Just remember its ok to be sad about Babe, don;t let anyone tell you different.

Tori

Congratulations on your new human baby, and you are in my thoughts and prayers concerning your furbaby. My heart doesn't know whether to rejoice for you, or break. I guess it's just going to have to be both.

Thinking of you,

Michelle

Dear Boogi's Mom,

I am a little late reading this thread,,,I am glad your new baby is healthy and you are physically well. I am so sorry for your Boogi's decline, its awfully hard I know..who knows how or why things like this happen in life.. she is so pretty by the way...my prayers are with you right now. Little Boogi is so blessed to have such a loving family..Peace to you and your family, Tory, Hrudey's Momma...

....my boy left us on Christmas morning,, some people said well isn't that terrible on the holiday it will always be a sad day...well I like to think of it as a special day, the day he went to heaven and found the peace he really wanted. That helps me cope.... remembering how sick he was... I do understand..My thoughts and prayers are with you... All the best, Tory

Hi all,

Babe is still hanging in there. It's so hard to see her decline. She is still eating, etc.... The tumor under her arm is now huge, and I'm afraid this will be her demise before her lungs get her. My vet told me that usually when the tumors bust that is when people have their pets put down because it is messy, etc. She now has another tumor growing on her right upper leg too. I can only imagine how big the tumors are in her lungs. I love her so much and it makes me sad knowing that she does not have much time left with me. Back in 1/07, the vet told me she had anywhere from weeks to 4-6 months. We are now in the 5th month. I just returned to work from having 12 weeks maternity leave. I am so thankful and blessed to have been able to spend this time with her..............
Thanks for all of your support!

I'm so glad you posted..I have thought of you and Babe often and was hoping you'd let us know how she's doing. What a gift the last 12 weeks have been for both of you..

I hope your baby boy is doing well and I am so happy to hear that you've had this time with Babe.

Please keep us posted..

Jen

I'm so glad that you had this time with Babe and I'm sorry she is getting worse. I am sure that she knows how very much she is loved.

I'll be keeping you and Babe in my thoughts.

Thanks to you Mo&MaisiesMom and Alleysmama for your support. You two are always so sweet and thoughtful..................

Well, Babe is getting weaker, it seems. Every time she sits down to scratch her ears with her hind legs or shakes her head, she falls over. She seems weak in the back end. The tumor under her arm is getting so red, and today it seemed like it was painful to her when I picked her up and touched it. I just feel like it is going to be soon. I just keep on praying that she will go to sleep and die when it's her time. I can't even bear the thought of her suffering or being in pain. I love her so much. I don't know how I would even make it if I end up having to take her to end it.........

Dear Boogi, tears are falling as I write to you. How beautifully you are handling this. I hope for you and Babe that her time has come and that she has passed away in your arms, surrounded in your love. I pray hard that this will be your gift. I know you want it that way, I will be hoping andhoping and hoping that all this passes as gently and as lovingly as possible. A great big virtual hug to you and Babe from all who love here. May it all go easily with the angels there to assist you.

Dear Boogi3,

I'm so sorry to hear about your Babe. I am wishing you love and strength for your days ahead. Words don't come easy at times like this. I am right where you are with my girl Nori and I know that the day will come soon when I need to rally all of my strength and be there for her at the end.


I know exactly what you mean about wanting her to jsut go in her time. Every morning when I walk into the kitchen where she sleeps (b/c she just can't manage the stairs anymore), I take a deep breath. She can't hear me come in, so I wait for some movement and signs of life.

Just know that if you are faced with taking her, you WILL find the strength. Your posts and stories of her are so full of love and devotion that this final mercy will be something you can do.

Do take care of yourself, thinking of you and your Babe and wishing her love and light, sweet girl.

Sharon

Boogi, I'm so sorry about your Babe's declining health. Reading your post got me so depressed because I know how agonizing it is to watch and to feel helpless as that monster cancer takes away the one thing in your life that matters the most. I'm so sorry that you have to go through that, I know how heart breaking it is. Just know that you did everything possible that you could for Babe and don't ever doubt that you did. I can tell that you are a very caring and loving guardian to babe. Take care k9pal

Hi, I know exactly how you feel. What you have to remember is all the good times you had with your baby, that will help you get through this. I was told my kitty had cancer on Tues, and my kitty died Weds morning at 1:37 am. Can your kitty come home to pass?

Hi Bue's Mommy,

How nice of you to read my post and reply in the midst of your own pain. I was going to reply to yours but haven't had a chance yet - am at work. Babe is home with me. She still has quality of life left in her - still eating, doing the bathroom, sleeping, and griping at me to feed her the favorite super suppers. Her breathing is a little bit faster. The vet said that normal respirations for cats is 18-30 and she is right at about 30. The tumor under her arm is huge, and I'm so afraid that it will burst and I'll have to have her put down because of that. She has another tumor growing on the other arm, so I can only imagine how bad the tumors are in her lungs. Sometimes I wish I would have had the tumor under arm taken out when it started to grow so big. But the vet said it was not good to do so because of the tumors in her lungs. I often wonder if the maybe the vet got her xrays mixed up with some other cat and maybe it was all wrong. But I don't think so. It's just my way of coping with things. I love my cat so much. She is still my baby (even though I now have a 5 month old little boy who is the pride and joy of my life . She still demands as much attention from me as always. She has accepted my baby - doesn't really bother her like I was worried about. I think she knows he is part of me, and she pretty much ignores him. It's funny though - he just watches her - ALOT - and looks like he is wondering, "Mommy, why doesn't the kitty want to pay attention to me?" Anyway, I'm preparing for one of the hardest days of my life. I don't know how I'm going to get through this. I just keep on praying that God takes Babe in her sleep. Unfortunately, it will probably have to be the other way. I will not let Babe suffer. It would absolutely kill me if I knew that she was hurting and in pain...........
I'm so sorry about your baby, Bue. He was a beautiful kitty. I know what you are going through, even though I have anicipatory/preloss grief. The people on this board are very supportive and know exactly what you are going through.
Thanks again for your nice post. You will be in my thoughts and prayers and please keep me - and Babe - in yours.

Boogi/Sheri