i lost dee a few months ago yet i feel like it was yesterday she was taken by cancer i wounder if i did the right thing what do i do i have lost 8 lbs
i dee

I am so sorry for the pain you are going through losing your little Dee to cancer. I lost over 20 pounds in the first 2 weeks when I lost my little girl. Now I am able to eat a little more since it has been 4 weeks now but my husband and kids wouldn't leave me alone about not eating. Please come and talk to us and tell us all about your Dee. We are here to help you and each other in anyway we can. We all know about the horrible pain that follows losing our babies.
Ann

It is so very hard when we lose our pets, sometimes we can not do anymore for them and we have to keep them from suffering. It helps to share with people who understand. I am sorry. Pamela

I am very sorry for your loss.
We feel so responsible for our little furbabies that we blame ourselves for things
that we couldn't control.
Coming here to talk does help.

Good Early Morning:

I am sooooooooooooo very, very sorry that you have lost your precious dee because of cancer!!!!

There are several wonderful people here at Lightning-Strike, who have lost their sweet furbabies because of cancer --
They have either had to put them to sleep, or some of their babies passed away because of the cancer, chemo &
radiation.

When you feel that "YOU ARE ABLE TO", please, come back and share what I'm sure is a very beautiful story of you and your dee!!! Okay????

Believe me, we ALL CAN UNDERSTAND YOUR PAIN.....

God Bless You and Yours!!!!

Peace,

Denise

It is so very sad and painful to lose a beloved animal in the way that you have done, but please know that you will find people here who will understand what you are going through and will give you as much support as we can.

My thoughts are with you
with love
jilly

I'm very sorry for the loss of your beloved Dee. I know exactly how you feel. When I had my dog put to sleep, I felt as though I had murdered him too. It was extremely difficult to know that I was the one who gave the vet permission to give the shot that would end my best buddy's life.

I have now come to know that it was the last act of kindness and love I could bestow upon him. He was suffering and there was no hope of him recovering from his illness, so I had two choices: Continue to let him suffer for no telling how long or give him an instant pain-free death. I chose the latter and in retrospect, I'm glad I found the courage and strength to set my best friend free.

In time, I believe you will come to understand and accept that you did what was best as well. I do hope you will post again and tell your story of the life you shared with Dee. All of us here at LS truly understand what you are going through and you will be accepted with open arms here.

__Jim

dee,
please know you have my deepest condolences on the loss of your beloved furbaby.

i don't know if this will help but let me share with you something my vet said to me.
last week we had to put our baby calvin to sleep. he was almost sixteen and in kidney failure.
while we were holding him, saying goodbye, our vet came in. i am dealing with some major health issues that he knows about and he was talking to us about all the wonders of medicine and the great things they have for people these days. but he said he has something that no medical doctor has. the ability to end suffering. i agreed. i know if i was at the point where my calvin was, not eating, in pain, not able to enjoy life, i too would want to be able to leave this world with dignity and respect.

you were able to give that gift to dee. don't ever feel guilty. know you did all you could to make her life, to the last minute, comfortable, filled with love and compassion.

here's a poem i wrote - maybe it will help:

The Last Gift


Memories like rivers run through my mind
A scrapbook of love, brief glimpses in time
Each picture is etched deep in my heart
Held closely and treasured when we’re apart.

My heart filled with sorrow, eyes filled with tears
For the last time I’ll kiss and caress silky ears
Looking deep in your eyes I’ll know that it’s time
And my heart will be breaking, dear friend of mine.

In your face I see loyalty, wisdom and love
And no trace of fear of what waits above
Trust in our hearts, that this isn’t the end
On to a new journey my sweet, faithful friend.

My last gift to you, who has given so much
Is a hug, a kiss, one last soft, gentle touch
Now you are free, to run without pain
And to wait for the day when we meet again.


hugs,
stacy

Dear Dee's Mom,
I am sorry for the loss of Dee. You're right, you don't feel like eating when your heart is so broken. Try not to fall apart......Dee would not want that. LS is such a wonderful place, full of the most kind, caring people. Come here often to post or just to read of others' journeys.

Stacy - that poem you wrote was so beautiful. I hope that soon, YOU are on the road to good health.

Lynn

dee came to us in 1997 she was a very sweet dog she pulled me through a lot and i miss her so much thanxs for the replys everyong
heres some poems i found

Do I Go Home Today?
by Sandi Thompson

My family brought me home
cradled in their arms.
They cuddled me and smiled at me,
and said I was full of charm.

They played with me and laughed with me.
They showered me with toys.
I sure do love my family,
especially the girls and boys.

The children loved to feed me,
they gave me special treats.
They even let me sleep with them --
all snuggled in the sheets.

I used to go for walks,
often several times a day.
They even fought to hold the leash,
I'm very proud to say.

They used to laugh and praise me,
when I played with that old shoe.
But I didn't know the difference
between the old ones and the new.

The kids and I would grab a rag,
for hours we would tug.
So I thought I did the right thing
when I chewed the bedroom rug.

They said that I was out of control,
and would have to live outside.
This I did not understand,
although I tried and tried.

The walks stopped, one by one;
they said they hadn't time.
I wish that I could change things,
I wish I knew my crime.

My life became so lonely,
in the backyard on a chain.
I barked and barked all day long,
to keep from going insane.

So they brought me to the shelter,
but were embarrassed to say why.
They said I caused an allergy,
and then kissed me goodbye.

If I'd only had some classes,
as a little pup.
I wouldn't have been so hard to handle
when I was all grown up.

"You only have one day left,"
I heard the worker say.
Does this mean a second chance?
Do I go home today?
© Sandi Thompson

He Will Come
By Gina Richey

Don't close the door
Don't push me away
Why are you leaving?
Don't make me stay.

Slow down the car
I can't keep up
This pavement is hot
and my pads are cut.

I've got to quit running
or my heart will pop
Every muscle is aching
why didn't you stop?

I'm so hungry and thirsty
Darkness is near
But I shouldn't leave
He will come for me here

Several weeks have passed
I'm dead on my feet
They call me a nuisance
because I eat off the streets

Every car that passes
I chase it to see
If it is my master
coming for me

Though I approach
those that come near
With trust in my eyes
and no sign of fear

With hate in their voices
and a cold, heartless stare
They threaten to kill me
They don't even care

Batter my body
with rocks that they throw
I will not leave
He will come, Don't you know.

Overtaken with weakness
my body is numb
I'm sick and so lonely
Oh please, let him come!

I will go back
to where he first threw me out
I'll wait for him there
He will come, no doubt

My thoughts are fading
My chest feels like lead
I'm sleepy, so sleepy
I can't lift my head

It's so quiet, so peaceful
all remains still
There is my master
at my home on the hill

Yes, I can see him
He's calling my name
His voice is so gentle
His hands are the same

He decided he wants me
Things will be fine
I really do love him
that master of mine.

My tail wags with pleasure
I can't catch my breath
He came in my dreams
but so did my Death

THE LAST BATTLE

If it should be that I grow frail and weak
And pain should keep me from my sleep,
Then will you do what must be done,
For this -- the last battle -- can't be won.

You will be sad I understand,
But don't let grief then stay your hand,
For on this day, more than the rest,
Your love and friendship must stand the test.

We have had so many happy years,
You wouldn't want me to suffer so.
When the time comes, please, let me go.

Take me to where to my needs they'll tend,
Only, stay with me till the end
And hold me firm and speak to me
Until my eyes no longer see.
I know in time you will agree
It is a kindness you do to me.

Although my tail its last has waved,
From pain and suffering I have been saved.
Don't grieve that it must be you
Who has to decide this thing to do;

We've been so close -- we two -- these years,
Don't let your heart hold any tears.

---Unknown

Oh my gosh Dee, these poems made me cry and cry and cry and cry.....!!!!

Cheri

Dear Dee's Mom
Those poems were very sad ... bless all the poor wee doggies that have to go through that.

I wonder if you have seen the Rainbows Bridge poem which, like Stacey' lovely poem might be more uplifting and help you a little. It helped me a lot when Ellie died to be able to visualise her in that place.

Here it is.

Rainbow Bridge

There is a bridge connecting heaven and earth
It is called Rainbow Bridge because of its many colours
Just this side of the Rainbow Bridge there is a land of meadows,
hills, valleys with lush green grass
When a beloved pet dies, the pet goes to this special place
There is always food and water and warm spring weather
The old and frail are young again
Those who are maimed are made whole again
They play all day with each other
There is only one thing missing
They are not with their special person who loved them on Earth
So each day they run and play until the day comes
when one suddenly stops playing and looks up !
The nose twitches ! The ears are up !
The eyes are staring ! And this one suddenly runs from the group !
You have been seen, and when you and your special friend meet,
you take him or her into your arms and embrace
your face is kissed again and again,
and you look once more into the eyes of your trusting pet
Then you cross the Rainbow Bridge together, never again to be separated.

with love
jilly

ever since dee died i have lost all hope she gave me hope i was dignosed with a life threating disease and when i had an open liver biospy wich was a year ago she was a nurse my mom made me a sandwitch i live at home and dee got it out of the fridge and gave it to me with a can of pop and hopped onto the bed and kept me compiny cause i was only 12 now im almost 14 i miss her so much and im still going throught with my life threating disease she kept me alive but now i lost her so i feel like someone is slowly putting my hope out

Dee mom
Avril

Hi Avril,
I am so sorry to hear you lost your precious Dee. I know how much it hurts and that you miss her terribly. But please, please take care of yourself, okay? Dee would not want you to lose hope or to feel sad or bad. Dee knows that you loved her, and now you need to take care of yourself because that's what Dee would want.

Keep coming here and talking about your feelings. I know it's really hard not to feel that way. I know it is. You do have to feel those feelings and it helps to talk about them and then you will come to understand that you are not to blame.

I love the poems you posted. That one is SOOOO sad. It just breaks my heart.

You take care of yourself.
Love,
Marcia

Dear Avril, Please don't give up hope just let little Dee's love surround you as she is still there you just cant feel her. I believe they are always watching over us and still loving us wanting us to get better. I know that life if hard and more so for you since you have a life threatening disease.

You sound like a lovely young woman who loved your baby very much and had that love returned to you. Avril, I don't know what kind of disease you have but I know your precious Dee would not want you to give up on life and neither do I. This world needs more beautiful young woman like you so filled with love. Hang in there. Hugs
Ann

Avril, I once read that euthanising a pet is not something you DO to a pet, but rather something you do FOR a pet. You gave that gift to Dee. It was good of you to be able to do that for her. I am sorry for your loss. I hope you are hanging in there...
Caroline

Hi Avril:

I'm sorry about your sweet Dee, and I know that you and she loved one another very, very much....
I have no doubt in my mind, that YOU WERE A WONDERFUL MOMMY TO DEE!!!

You have come to the right place here, Avril.......There are so many wonderful, friendly people to write to!!!!

One thing that I am 100% sure of.................. I want you to always know that Dee wants you, her mommy,
to always think positive about your liver disease!!!!!

I don't know what type of liver disease you have.............but, I'm in agreement with Ann................"The world needs
more beautiful, caring, young woman like yourself, Avril......"
I know that Dee wants you to be okay, my sweet friend!!!

I know that my kitty hated it when I was sad....

Did Dee feel horrible when you were sad?????

Thank you for posting the poems.....they are soooooo sad......

Please, make a copy of the poem that Jilly posted you, about "Rainbow's Bridge".....
And, keep it in places where you will be able to see it, frequently..... Okay?????

Sending much love and many hugs to you!!!!

God Bless You,

Love, Denise xo

u guys really think so?
Dees mommy
Avril

do you guys think dee loved me and still loves me because im dieing here not knowing
Dee's mommy
Avril

Avril,
Of course, Dee loved you, and she still does love you. There's no doubt about it. And there is no doubt that she would not want you to be sad and that she wants you to take the best care of yourself. Never, ever doubt that Dee loved you and knows how much you loved her.
Love,
Marcia

thanxs everyone keep sending replies it helps me
Dee's mommy
Avril

Dear Avril,
Tell us a little more about your precious Dee. What kind of dog was she, what color was she, and what was she like throughout her life. How much did she weigh, did she sleep in bed with you. What kind of fun things did she and you do together. You know that kind of stuff. Sometimes writing things like that really helps a person. Tell us all about the love you and she shared and the happy memories you and she shared.

The pain is hard to live with and to deal with but with our babies love it helps us to keep living on. Dee is still with you, still loving you, and always will be. Do you believe in Heaven Avril? I believe that one day when it comes our time to die we will be with our babies. I lost 2 wonderful dogs in 6 weeks and 3 days time. I don't believe they are forever gone from me and that hope keeps me going.
Love, Ann

This is a close friend of Avril’s. She asked me to type out the story of Dee to let you know how wonderful and amazing she was. I’ve only met Dee once, but she was incredible and such a sweetie. She absolutely GLOWED with health and happiness.



During a blizzard in the winter of ’97, a dog showed up on their doorstep. She was a large breed dog, that looked like a sheperd /newfoundland/mishmash (I’m sure Avril will post a picture later) and was around a year of age.. She was let in, and named Dee, for dog because they weren’t going to be keeping her.



Boy, were they wrong. They took her to the vet, and found out she was very pregnant. So, the dog stayed for the time being. She gave birth to 6 puppies. Four were black, and two were black and white. One of the puppies was born in the garage where Dee was drying off from a run. Dee allowed them to pick up the puppy and carry it into the house. The four black puppies were rehomed, and the two black and white ones were kept. Speckles, the female of the two is still with them and is a big ball of love. They also kept Freckles for their grandparents. Sadly, when Freckles was less than a year old he was hit by a car and died slowly in Avrils arms.



So, Dee stayed (obviously). She was incredibly smart and knew how to open the fridge and the doors and to retrieve the phone without being taught. She was very bonded to Avril. One day, before I met her and before she went on anti-depressants, things were really going wrong and it all built up. Avril attempted suicide and tried to hang herself. Before she could, Dee stood underneath her and forced her to place her feet on her back. She refused to leave until Avril had untied the rope and got onto the ground. Dee followed her everywhere for a while to make sure that she didn’t try that again.



Dee eventually went to live with her grandparents. I don’t know the reason for this, but Dee was well loved and cared for there. When I met her, her coat shone like the sun and she was pleasantly plump. All she wanted to do was play and be loved. Since she’s a large dog, she often intimidated a lot of people. One day she got loose and ran to a nearby school to play with the kids. Her grandpa was told that she should be put down because she was going to bite a kid, this story made everyone laugh, Dee adored kids and wouldn’t hurt a fly.



Avril has an enlarged liver and spleen, and needs a transplant. It’s a complete mystery why, but she has to undergo a whole bunch of testing, one of which was the open liver biopsy. During the recovery weeks after, Dee stayed with her instead of her grandparents. Dee didn’t leave her side. When she wanted the phone, Dee got it for her, Dee would curl up on the bed with her and keep her company. When her mother was out doing a quick errand, and the rest of her family was away as well, Dee opened the fridge and grabbed a sandwich and some pop and brought it to her in bed. The stories go on and on. She was amazing.



One day, Dee was diagnosed with cancer. This saddened everyone and Avril was dropped in a sad, hopeless state. She didn’t know if her grandpa could afford chemo long-term and she knew this would only end in death. Dee pushed on for a couple more months. She started to lose weight and wouldn’t eat, her quality of life was diminishing. One day it was decided for her to be put to sleep. Avril and her grandpa stood with her while she received the injection. Her grandpa had tears pouring down his face and Dee looked up at him as if to say, what’s wrong? She finally was free of pain. Dee died in the way she would have wanted, next to the people she loved.

Dee's mommy

Avril with the help of my friend stacey

to correct it was me and my mom
Dees mommy
Avril

Oh Avril you need never question whether Dee loved you or not. Dee loved you with everything within her and it was a precious love one you will carry in your heart forever. Dee would not have protected you and saved you and would not have wanted to be with you if she did not love you so deeply.

You see honey Dee wanted you to live she wanted you to choose life and her saving your life proved it. Life is so precious and you must cling to life and fight to live with everything wonderful that is in you. You have a lot of love to give to others and who knows how many people you will bless and change their lives.

I pray your transplant will let you live a long happy life filled with love and blessings and sweet peace your whole life through. Dee's love will always surround you for the rest of your life. Your sweet Dee saw the love, sweetness, and goodness in you and so do I.
Love, Ann

Dear Avril:

Hi! I didn't say this in one of my posts to you..........but, you have a very, very beautiful name.... (just wanted to tell
you!!! )

Please, please, please ALWAYS KNOW THAT YOUR PRECIOUS DEE LOVED YOU (AND STILL LOVES YOU), WITH ALL OF
HER HEART!!!!!!!

Always remember, you gave your precious furdog, Dee, a lovely home, with people who loved her .....
Quote following............



The love that you and Dee shared, Avril...............Is a love that even death cannot break apart!!..............

Always remember that, my friend.....

When my sweet Ernestine (a furkitty), was put to sleep on February 7, 2004...........I was sooooo very sad, and I doubted
if I would ever, ever be happy again, Avril............

But, when I came here, to Lightning Strike, a wonderful person here said to me.................

"Denise, Always remember that You took on Ernestine's pain, so that SHE COULD BE WITHOUT PAIN......"

And, for a very, very long while...........that's the only statement that ever made sense to me!!!!

Our sweet Ernestine was in sooooooo much pain, I know that I would give her that gift again.....

Avril, I know that you are in need of a liver transplant.......

Are you on a "transplant list" somewhere???? Can you tell me what the doctor's/surgeon's need from a donor, in order to be approved for someone to share a portion of their liver with you?????

Is it "blood type", or "tissue type"??????

Please, share with us that information..........
If I could be a donor for you Avril, I wouldn't hesitate! Please let me know....

God Bless You, My new friend........

Love, Denise xo

i havnt been placed on the list yet and i dont fear death i fear of being alone in this big world some say im a warrior some say im a stupid child with retarded dreams i dont listen any more i just try to be happy but its hard
keep repling pls
Dee's mommy
Avril

Dear Avril,

You will never be alone in this world....I believe that Dee is watching over you right now and will stay by your side, in spirit, throughout your life. She was a special dog who knew how wonderful you are and I think she's still with you in your heart.

Dee knew what a strong and wonderful person you are, that's why she would never let you give up no matter how hard life got for you. She was your angel here on earth...and remains so in spirit. It takes a lot to get through what you have to deal with your health and you are doing so well. Don't give up! Dee wanted you to live and be HAPPY.....hang in there for her AND for yourself.

Your story has touched my heart Avril, keep fighting honey...you're doing great!

Kristie

Hi Avril:



How are you doing, dear????

I just wanted to know that I think that you are a lovely young woman, as does everyone here that has replied to your posts......

I certainly don't feel as if you are a stupid child with retarded dreams..............

I am thankful that you "try to be happy", and I want you to be happy, my new friend!!! I know that your precious furdog Dee wants you to be happy, Avril!!!!

I live in Massachusetts............ Do you live close to me???? (You don't have to write your city or state, and I'd prefer that you don't...)
There can be some "weirdos" reading this site, who aren't members...

Always be careful when "you are on-line, not to give out personal information".... ALWAYS!!!!!!!!!!

We all care about you Avril ............Always know that.... OKAY????

Love, Denise xo

hiya everyone i live in canada manitoba i am careful
i thought i saw my baby today maybe i did
anyways keep the replys coming pls it helps alot
Dee's mommy
Avril

Avril dear,
It sounds as if your beautiful Dee paid you a little visit to let you know that she is alright and that she is still loving and supporting you. Many of us have had little signs from our furbabies since they went to Rainbows Bridge and it seems as if you have too. I hope it was comforting for you ... I am sure she meant it to be. Maybe it was to show you that you are not alone in what you are going through and that she is still there with you in spirit.
It is very apparant that she loved you very very much when she was with you, and that love is continuing on still.

Bless dear Dee and her mommy.

With love
jilly

hi everyone
*sigh* my familys struggling with thing me with school and life and dealing with dees loss
all i want for my b-day is dee and a 2end chance to make life better but i cant have that chance my parents are having a hard time affording my meds and i feel like it my fault i wish a had a another dog boy i miss my dreams when i was close to them to having a dog sled team and going on the sled 2 people took that dream away from me slowly my neighbours i want to kill them the shed some blood an eye for an eye
pls people keep replying
and for thos who have i thank you
Dee's mommy
Avril

hiya
im just sitting at my computer lonly my heart emty please reply i feel all alone so pls
DEE'S MOMMY
Avril

Dear Avril-
Hi Sweetie.
I just wanted to let you know you are not alone.
I've read all your posts though this is the first time I've replied.
I lost my little boy about 5 weeks ago. Indy was my very dear companion and best friend.
I have had him since he was a tiny pup.
He was 10 years old and very sick. He had several diseases including cancer.
I am a nurse and did my very best to take care of him. I could only do so much until it was time to let him go.
I do know how sad and lonely you are without Dee.
She sounds like she was very special and especially devoted to you.
I'm sure she is watching over you and wishing she could make you feel less sad.
Take care of yourself for now, Avril.
love,
Fran

I would love to see a picture of Dee. Do you have any you can post? If you're not sure how to post photos the tecnical support section can help.

hi sorry it a small pic all the rest are getting developed
heres my baby
Dee's mommy
Avril

Dee was a very cute little girl and I'm sure you are so proud of her. It was good to be able to see her picture she is a cutie pie.
Hugs, Ann

Avril-
Thanks for sharing Dee's pic.
She is a sweety with kind and loving eyes.
I bet she fun to hug.
Hope you are feeling a little better today.
Love, Fran

Hi Avril:

What a precious, girl, your sweet Dee was.............

Just totally precious!!!!!

I can tell that you loved her so very, very much.....

God Bless You Always, Avril...........

Always know that EVERYONE HERE LOVES YOU.....................OKAY?????

LOVE, DENISE XOXO

hi everyone
i loved dee more then life its self she was always there for me
now i feel dee at night sleep with i have seen her 2 outside
i miss her so much
speckles has her eyes her daughter
there are only 2 people on this earth i hate i dont feel any thing for them they are my neighbours
Dee's mommy
Avril
keep the replys coming

hi
*sigh* these days i think death should take me why
dee's mommy
Avril

Hi Avril,
Please don't say that. You have so much to live for & Dee wouldn't want his mommy to feel so down. You have friends here who care. I'm sure Dee is looking down at you & is with you, & he would be sad knowing that his mommy was so unhappy. It can feel so lonely when you lose someone you love very much, but Dee is having a beautiful time where he is now, but is just sad that his mommy is sad. Whenever I'm sad I cling on to the knowledge that the feelings will pass, & the belief that something nice may just around the corner. Dee sounds like a very special dog, & his photo was beautiful. ***

Hi Avril.
From your last post it sounds like you are having a tough day.
We all have some days that are harder then others and we miss our babies so much.
I'm sure Dee is watching over you.
She was so protective. I'm sure she'd be heartbroken if anything happened to you.
Please take care of yourself, keep yourself safe.
It's what Dee would want.
Thinking of you.
Fran

hi
i went to the doctors recently i weigh 83 lbs
im a little happy someone is helping me get a b-day party
dee's mommy
Avril

Hi Avril,
When is your brithday?
Tell me aboout your party.
I hope it will be fun for you.
Fran

Hi Avril:

When is your birthday party??????
Are you going to be 15???

Please tell us all about it, okay????
Thanks!!!

Love, Denise xo (and, Ms. Lucy and Mr. Yosterxoxo)

hi
i am going to be 14 and we are tring to get a party together to scrape up the money
dee's mommy :wubs:
Avril

Hi Dee:

When is your birthday???

Always know that your precious Dee is with you, in your heart and in your soul........

Do you have friends where you live?
Do you get along with your parent's???

I care about you.
Just wondering.

Love, Denise xo (and, Ms. Lucy and Mr. Yoster xoxo)

hiya
i have on friend who lives 5 mins away from me i get along with my mom but i hate my dad my bdays on feb 20
Dee's mommy
Avril

hiya
heres a pic of dee's daughter her name is speackles
DEE's Mommy
Avril

Dear Avril,
Speckles is a very beautiful baby absolutely gorgeous. I hope you have a Happy Birthday tomorrow.
Love, Ann