I do not wish to share this post.

I'm sooo sorry. I know how hard this is. My husband and I never had children and Dieter was our four legged baby and it has been a real struggle without him in our life. Yes, life has forever changed and now I have to continue and I will, but it's hard because I miss him soooo much. You have just lost your little angel, abby, and you need to cry and grieve for her. Let yourself be sad, it's truly ok and all of us here sooooo understand. Keep coming here and write as much as you want and read other people's journeys. It really helped me see that what I was feeling was normal and gave me hope that one day I could smile again. You and your husband are in my thoughts.
Libby

Abby's Mom,

I know. Your post makes me cry because I feel it too. Today I kept catching myself thinking Punky is still around. When I laid my head down for a second, I reached for Punky. When I woke up and didn't see him, I looked to his basket. It's crushing me, learning over and over again that my baby is gone.

I've never cared so much about the afterlife and eternity and all those things as I do now. I'm forced to reconsider these concepts because I want to do whatever it takes to get to Punky again. I already know that this is a disingenuous way to try to get into Heaven, and ultimately I hope to find true faith in God, which is probably the most deserving way to get through the Pearly Gates.

-Punky's Mom

It is the pits I know, a searing pain right through the center of your being. Then comes that overwhelming saddness, you have to take BABY STEPS through this one at a time. I feel it phycially in the part of my soul I try and protect from pain, it is brought right up to the surface. This is a hard time of year. I just feel like it is the year I lost my boy... not the excitment of a new year and what it may bring. Just hang in there Abby's mommy. Pamela

Dear Abby's Mommy, I know it is a terrible thing to be without our babies. I hope that some day you and I will be able to smile again. Like you I feel I am without my heart for Snookie was my heart beat as I said the very first time I posted on LS. Being without my baby just hurts so much so I know how you feel. I haven't found any relief from the pain but then my baby has only been gone since the 26th.
Ann

I feel it too. All our precious babies -- the first year without them in so, so long. It is my first year without Hannah since 1988!!! 1988!!! Lord, I cannot believe it. My heart goes out to all of you.
Marcia