kevnanama
Oct 27 2003, 06:21 PM
I would like to thank everybody on this site for sharing their feelings of lost, it is important to know that there is others who feel the way you do. On Saturday we had to let go of a dear friend of 19 years, it was the hardest thing I have done in a long time. She was a little brindle cat, that had been with my girlfriend since she was a kitten, my girlfriend is taking it very hard, and the funny thing is I'm taking it almost as hard. I had only been in this cat's life for a little more than 6 years, but she was my bud.
My girlfriend and I had just started to living together when her ex-husband left to go out of town for a few weeks and asked my girlfriend to feed the cat, the cat was part of the divorce agreement, when we got there we found a cat malnourished and scared of her own shadow, my girlfriend immediately scooped it up and took it home. For weeks the cat stayed in a back room of the house and would not come out, it would eat but it would not come near my girlfriend, and surely not to me. We finally found her old brush in a box in the attic, and brought it down to her, that broke the ice, she would come out from under the couch, and get brushed, and after a few weeks she was a different kitty. I took a lot of time to get to know her, and brushing her to build a level of trust, and in doing so her and I became great buds, I have never had a animal become so attached to me, she would get so upset if I left for and extended period of time, she would quit eating, and hide in her room / my office until I came home.
She would go into the bathroom every morning with me to sit on the counter while I showered and shaved, and dressed for work, like it was her duty to see me get started in the morning. When I came home at night she would lay between my arms, between me and the keyboard of the computer, while I did my work in the evenings, I had to learn how to type differently because of it.
My girlfriend would say "she's your cat" and you know something, she really was.
You have to understand something here, I work in construction, and I have at any given time during the day 2 to 100 other guys around me, so tears are not an option, I make the decisions that keep the job on schedule, and running, so if these guys saw me with tears in my eyes, well, you can imagine what things would be like.
So here I am, missing my bud, having no where to express my feelings, that is why I thank each of you for letting me vent a little, as I said before it is one of the hardest things I have gone through in a long time. Sitting here in my office without her here is really tough, and pulling back the shower curtain in the morning and not seeing that little brindle cat sitting on the counter is even tougher yet. I know in time I will not miss her so much, but I also know that I will not have another friend like her.
Take care Saffy, where ever you may be ... I miss you brindle!
Tony in Phoenix
Oct 27 2003, 06:55 PM
Hey Man, let me tell you something. I too work in Construction and I know how you feel. However, that doesn't stop me from expressing my feelings because I loved Kudi so much. I just lost him last Thursday, and believe me, just when you think the pain won't stop, it really does. I miss my guy terribly, but some of my grief is turning to happiness already. Just having Kudi in my life was a blessing, I can already tell that because I can feel it - I've been getting these strange sensations when I walk into the house, or when I go in the kitchen (places Kudi used to hang out) and my other cats are acting kind of weird - something is going on and I think Kudi is finally home again, only I can't see him this time.
You know, I was just driving on the freeway here in Phoenix and a memory that made my cry two days ago made me laugh today....it's amazing.
Hang in there man, I know exactly how you and your girlfriend feel, it will get better and just be thankful Saffy was brought into your life - I can't explain when you will understand that, but trust me, you'll know it when it happens.
Regards, Tony in Phoenix
wagon831
Oct 27 2003, 07:01 PM
Hi there. I am so sorry to hear about your Saffy. You found the right place to share your feelings & thoughts. I lost my wonderful tabby girl on May 1 of this year. She was also 19 years old. We are so lucky to have had them for so long even though it still does not seem long enough. As you said, the pain of losing her will lessen, but remember........her paw prints on your soul will remain forever. Please know I am thinking of you and that I am sure my "old" girl was waiting for Saffy at the Rainbow Bridge (and there they will wait for us to join them some day) You and your girlfriend take care and comfort each other.
Sincerely,
Kimberly
DJ - Edgar, Jesse, Tom's Mom
Oct 28 2003, 03:42 PM
You will ALWAYS miss her - just as much - but it will stop hurting after a while. You're right, you may not ever have a friend like her. She loved you for YOU. I am so glad that she was able to find the two of you and that she finally ended up with the best friend she deserved!!
Six years is a long time to love someone, but it never feels like long enough - we are always here for you, to share your grief. The pain of losing a loved one is the same whether you are a man or a woman - it is often harder for men because we aren't supposed to show our feelings.
So tell us about her when you can, and shed a tear when you're alone with your girlfriend.
But always rest assured that some day your little friend will be waiting for you in another place, with a brush nearby.
kevnanama
Oct 28 2003, 09:27 PM
Thanks everyone, your words & feelings, they mean a lot to us.
Today was a better day I got out of the bathroom this morning with only a few tears. My girlfriend is starting feel better now her head aches have started to subside. Although my daughter came home tonight after being away since last Friday, and the emotions started up a little again, but all in all, I think we are getting a better grip on our loss.
Tony, Kim, I feel for you guys I’m really understanding what you have gone through and are still going through.
Funny how life works sometimes, we have become closer because of this loss, maybe that’s what Saffy had in mind all this time, she hated it when people would raise their voices in anger, if one of us would sleep in the spare bedroom, because of an argument, she would come in and walk back and forth on us, and make such a commotion that we would be forced back into our bedroom, then she would calm down and be quiet the rest of the night. (quite the little marriage counselor)
Saffy’s ashes come home tomorrow, and we have order her little urn and it should be here by the end of the week, her place is ready on my desk, under the lamp where it is warm, just the way she likes it.
SJ J & S
Oct 29 2003, 01:30 PM
When Ian and I used to argue Jude would bark so loud, and the louder we shouted the louder she barked. We haven’t bothered arguing for years.
Maybe Jude and Saffy are from the same soul group, maybe we should have a good argument and see if they come back to stop it.
None of us like to cry at work, it’s a private emotion to share with the people we love and who love us, people who need to know us a little better and love us a little more for sharing our sensitive side.
When I start having a thought about my girls that I know will make me cry I start humming. Think of a song ahead of time to hum to so you’re prepared when you need it.
Take care,
Love Sue
Saki & Freyja's Mom
Nov 2 2003, 11:18 AM
In the first month after I lost Freyja and Saki, I cried everywhere. It was so embarassing. I would pass the pet food aisle at the store and burst into tears. Fortunately, I had some time off work and finally just decided not to leave the house for awhile. I still cry; not in public anymore though, which is a relief.
I am so glad you are putting Saffy at the computer where she can continue to keep an eye on you. Its amazing how the little rememberances help. Another thing you might try is putting a picture of her in the bathroom, so she can continue to watch you get ready. Saki used to watch me put my make up on every day, so I put a photo of her next to my vanity. It helps...
Making a keep sake box also helps. You can put her brush in it, her collar, any other little momentos. Or if you're not ready, you can put her brush (etc) by your bedside... Making photo albums also helps...
I am sorry for your loss of Saffy. She was a real blessing in your lives.
Love,
Jennifer
This is a "lo-fi" version of our main content. To view the full version with more information, formatting and images, please
click here.