I can't sleep, I find myself literally walking slower, my head held down and a constant lump in my throat. I can't put into words how much I miss my cat of 19 years. I honestly feel like I am carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders. I can't stand being indoors because I feel like I am literally bouncing off the walls. I can't stand being outdoors because everything looks grey. I had my Spotties cremated so he could be with me for the rest of my life. As much as having him close gives me comfort I just want to scream because he is nothing but ashes in a box. If I could just see and feel him one more time. I would give anything to see his little face, scatch behind his years and have him sit on my lap for just a moment. I knew losing him was going to hard - I wasn't prepared for how hard. I feel like my soul is crying.

Dear Spotties Mom

My heart goes out to you. Those first few days are such a nightmare of pain and anguish, I know. It feels so completely unbearable ... and there is no let up to it ... it is so unrelenting.

Please know that we care and are thinking of you so very much.

I don't know whether it is okay to say this or not ........ ?

In those first few days I couldn't bare the pain levels at all ... I felt I was going completely mad ... I begged the Doctor to give me something to numb me out, to stop me thinking and feeling, if he possibly could. He gave me a weeks supply of Diazepam. It worked and it reduced the intensity of how much it all hurt. It was all still there, but somehow it made it copable with. As I'm just relating a personal experience I hope its okay to have said this. I can see in your words how much you're hurting and that's why I thought I would say it.

With love
jilly

Bless you and your beloved spottie. I understand your feelings. It is so hard to let them go. My Bubbas ashes will be coming home next week and it's going to be very hard for me. Bubba and I have been through alot together and I am going to miss him dearly. I have lost 2 very special cats in my life in less than a year and it really really hurts.

Spottie and you were very fortunate to have each other. The love that you shared will never die. In my heart I truly believe that spottie and all the other furbabies that we loved and cherished so much are still with us in spirit.

Hi, I'm reading all the posts because it feels comforting to be around other people who understand the pain. This is so horrible isn't it? I don't even know what to say except that here is a virtual hug . . .
Love, Mimi

Dear Spotties mom,

I remember the first several days after Shiloh's passing...I cried pretty much non stop, didn't want to talk to anyone...I understand what you're feeling and going through. I'm so sorry.
Kathleen

Spottie is not just a bunch of ashes in a box. Spottie is a beautiful explosion of light and energy and love. Spottie is a memory of hugs, belly rubs and mrrrps...

Spottie is an angel - the stuff in the box were his work clothes - and now he's retired to a place where he can lay in the sun and take his time doing cat stuff.

I understand how you feel. When Jesse died I sat on my bed and couldn't even lift up my head. The world was grey, my heart had a big crack down the middle and my soul was bruised and aching.

But in time - the colours all came back, my heart healed up the middle and my soul began to realize that it was stronger than ever before. Thanks to the ones I have lost.

HUGS

How this statement made me weep.
Spotties Mama I feel like I am in a hollow too I think that was what I was trying to say in my post but did not know how to put it into words. Thinking of you.
Ann

Just remember that what you feeling is normal, your body just needs to rest while it recoveres from the shock is all.



Once the fog has lifted and your body is not so heavy some of us have been able to sense their being close by but it takes a while for our nerve ends to return to normal.

There is a rescue remedy from Bach flowers which is for shock, if you ask in a health shop im sure they will be able to help you.

Star of Bethlehem
Sweet Chestnut
Clematis
Honeysuckle
Walnut
Pine
Or Willow

are all for Bereavement, if you cant get the rescue remedy pick two of these that you are attracted to and put a couple of drops in water and sip during the day, they are totally harmless yet very effective.

Just hold on the time will come when you smile at the memories again.

Love Sue