He was 20 years old this month. He was in kidney failure and had a tumor in his stomach. I miss him so much. He was so much a part of my life, I am having a hard time moving on with the pain of losing him. Any support suggestions would be appreciated...

Duffy's mom,

Wow. 20 yrs is a very long time. What kind of dog was he? The only things I can say are the things that people have said to me when I lost Romeo. First of all, all of us who post here know how much it hurts to lose such a loved part of our families. The simple fact that you can come here and read others posts and stories, and come here when you need to be picked up or have a shoulder to cry on is very therapeutic. Although it might not seem like it, the pain will lessen with time. It does not mean you are forgetting your boy, it only means you are coming to terms with his death. It's almost been a month since I lost Romeo. I still miss him and always will, but I don't think about "the end" so much anymore. I sometimes feel guilty that I am getting over his death. Like if I loved him so much why do I no longer get upset and cry. Is he watching over me and seeing this and thinking I didn't really love him? Romeo was the 1st animal I've ever lost so I don't know if these feelings are natural. In the case of putting an animal to sleep, the best thing I've read here is that sometimes we have to take away our animal's suffering and pain, and make them our own. People have told me that our animal's spirits live on in our hearts, and as long as we remember them their spirits will live. Do you have any other animals? I have spent a lot of time being extra nice to my other cat. As far as my dog goes, to him it just means extra room in the bed and one less animal to take my attention away from him!!! Try to take comfort in the fact that you have given Duffy a home for 20 yrs and loved him and cared for him. I think you will always miss him, but over time it will not be so overwhelming. I don't know if anything I've written will help you, but there are a lot of people on this site with more experience in dealing with this than I. They will also be able to comfort you and provide advice and suggestion with more insight than I have. Hang in there as best you can and remember that it is ok to cry if you need to. Someone will always be here for you when you need them. Best of luck and my deepest condolences on your loss of Duffy

Dear Duffy's Mom,

Twenty years is such a long time! My Shiloh was only 5 when I had to have her put down and the void I feel from her absence is huge...I'm sure the void you're feeling is huge also. I'm so sorry for your loss.

The best advice I can give you is to allow yourself to grieve. Give yourself time. Come here to the LS website and share your thoughts, your saddnesses, and your grief. People here will give you advice and all the support you could possibly want. After a while you'll find yourself writing to others who are experiencing the same thing you are. You'll be able to give words of comfort and support and it will help your healing.

My thoughts are with you.
Kathleen

I'm sorry twenty years a very long time, I know the sting of it, I only had Moose for 9 yrs and like Kathleen just said it has left a huge void in my life. I have found alot of help here, I have always been one of those people that it was easier to write my feelings down, so I did, and I read about other peoples losses and I got wonderful heart felt responces and I realized thier were people out there that were hurting just as much as I was. Once again I am so sorry, I know how it hurts. Pamela

Dear Duffy's Mom,

I am so very sorry for the loss of your Duffy. Twenty years is such a big part of your life. I will echo what Pamela, Kathleen and Romeo's Dad said.........Keep coming here to post or just to read. It will help you get through this.

Thinking of you,
Lynn
XXOO

I just wanted to say how sorry I am that you had to put your little boy to sleep. Come and talk to us and tell us about your life with your sweet Duffy. Sometimes it helps so much just to talk about them. We are here for you and will share in your pain and will try to help you through it.
Ann

I'm very sorry to hear of your loss. Duffy was a huge part of your life for twenty years and the pain of losing him will seem unbearable at times. But you'll make it through just like the rest of us have. It won't be easy, but if you will continue to come here to talk or if you just prefer to read posts by others, it will help you begin to come to terms with the grieving process.

You won't get over losing Duffy for a long time. Find comfort in knowing what a wonderful life you gave him for twently years...you must have been one wonderful mom for having him for so long.

Please continue to come here...they are so many wonderful people here who will give you some great advice. We have all been where you are right now, so we have a full understanding of your heartache and we share your pain.

Take care,
___Jim

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I had my first dog Bagel for over 17 of his 18 1/4 years and having to put him down was the hardest thing I had done in my life to that point. He was my heart and I loved him beyond words. Twenty years is a long time- you must have taken such good care of your furbaby. Its is so hard to fill the void that is left after they are gone.
Grief is different for every person. There is no wrong way to cry and no timetable to follow. Be gentle with yourself and find those who are supportive. This is a wonderful place. You will find that many people are clueless about the bond we have with our furbabies and they will not be understanding. I just speak about my feelings to those who understand.
Again-my sympathy to you.

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I just read your story, sorry to hear about your dog, 20 years is a really long time. We have to put our dog to sleep tomorrow around 4:00. Her name is Brandy, she is 13. Last week she got to so she couldn't walk at all, and then christmas eve day she couldn't even sit up by herself, now she can sit up some, but she has lost so much weight, she eats and she drinks but nothing is helping, she has gotten worse, and also she goes to the bathroom on the floor. we had such a hard time getting her out to go to the bathroom so now we have plastic under her, tonight she has a blanket. We thought she would go on her own but she didn't. So we made the decision to put her to sleep, it will be better for her I know, and she won't suffer. It is going to be so hard. It is hard enough writing this. It is the only dog I have ever had, we have lost cats before. We have 3 other cats here, but she was the only dog. My mom says she doesn't want another dog, I would like another one, maybe one day. But you get so attached to them, that is what makes it so much harder. We are burying her outback, we are going to bury her favorite toy with her, her pound puppy and also she did wear this bead necklace that we will put on her. It will sure be a sad day.

Hi buffytammy75

I will be thinking of you and your family tomorrow, i know this will be such a hard day for you.

The pain will be great and the one thing that you must remember is that it is normal and ok to feel it.

Why dont you make a little prayer of verse to say while you bury Brandy.

Love Sue

Will be thinking of you, buffytammy75..............

Sincerely,

Lynn XXOO