Thank you everyone who responded to my post before. It's only the day after Kiva died and I'm looking on this site every five minutes. It has helped so much to know that other people understand how intense this is. I always thought I had abnormal relationships to my animals because I got so attached and them to me. They were my babies, my soul mates, as others on this site have described it. My cat Flakey, I had for 18 years and she was the only constant thing in my life throughout my twenties and thirties. I had to have her put to sleep when my husband was dying. In a way, it was a gift because explaining her death to my little boy and going through it prepared him a little bit for his dad dying. But the part that felt terrible to me, until I found this site, is that I think that Kiva's death feels harder for me right now than the deaths of my father, my husband, other deaths of people I've loved. It's just that he was such a constant presence in our lives, every second of life at home included him. Anyway, just wanted to say that to people who understand. Thank you again.
Mimi

Mimi, I also was more affected by Misty's death than, for example, my father's. I think there are several reasons we (or at least I) feel this way when a very close pet dies.

First, we don't expect the "little ones" to die before us; we tend to group our pets in with our children, I think, and expect them to outlive us. We expect our grandparents and our parents to die before us. With spouses and siblings, we realize that it could be either way, us first or them first.

Secondly, the other loved ones in our lives have independence, self-sufficiency, self-reliance. Our parents raised us. Our siblings and spouses are peers; even our children grow into adolescence, then adulthood. Only our pets remain dependent on us throughout their lives, depending on us for every basic need: food, water, shelter, comfort, medical care. Those of us who take that lifelong commitment seriously feel responsible for everything that happens in their lives, and even though, logically, we should expect them to die before us, when that time comes, we feel as though somehow we've failed in that responsibility, that we could/should have done something more or differently.

And third, the relationships we have with our animals is somehow different than the relationships we have with people. Their love is truer, totally honest, non-judgemental. We can tell them anything, and trust that they will accept us as we are.

Hope my rambling helps you put some of your feelings in perspective.

Take care,

Mimi,
I am so very sorry for your loss. It's been an awful long day for me, as I'm sure it has been for many of us, so my response will be brief. I just wanted you to know I understand, and my heart goes out to you.

JT said it all, much better than I could. I have lost many people in my lifetime, whom I loved very dearly, including both my mama and daddy. My daddy died December 26, 1981 -- 23 years Sunday. My Hannah girl died April 19, 2004. I miss them both, I miss them all of them, but Hannah is always on my mind -- my little girl, my best friend -- ALWAYS, ALWAYS there FOR me, WITH me, for almost 16 years, no matter what. I understand.
Love,
Marcia

I'm sorry I posted this in the wrong place.

Thanks, you both put it in perspective. Maybe it's also because the love we have with our animals is so pure, honest and uncomplicated. Unlike anything we would have with another person. It all makes sense now.
Mimi