I lost my best friend Yesterday. Bubba was my cat since the day he was born on Friday, July 13, 1990. Friday the 13th is supposed to be a "bad luck day", but for me it was a very magical day. Bubba and I were Best friends. He was always there for me when things were hard and kept me going. I lived for that cat. He slept on my side of the bed for over 14 years. Last month Bubba started to get under the weather. We went to the Dr. and gave him antibiotics and he was not getting any better. He started to get worse and worse till he couldn't hardly walk anymore. I made another appointment with the vet tuesday night for him to see Bubba the following day. I knew this was going to be our last night together and that my baby was dying. The day I dreaded the most came and I had to say say good bye. My last act of love was to free him from his pain.... I love him very much and have an empty spot in my heart.

I'm so sorry about Bubba.

It sounds like you two had 14 wonderful years together. You made his world a better place by loving him and he made your world a better place by loving you...and in the end, you made the ultimate sacrifice of love...you took on his pain so he could be pain free. Bubba is now running, playing, and chasing butterflies at the Rainbow Bridge. I know he appreciates the sacrifice you made.

This is a wonderful forum for grieving. The folks here are kind and compassionate and will embrace you as deal with the grief of losing Bubba.

You're in my thoughts.
Kathleen

Kimberly, it is so very hard to loose a best friend of so many years, but you were there for your dear Bubba right up to the end, and cared and loved him right up to the end. I am so glad that you had that special last night together for you to be able to say your goodbyes to him. Yes, it was desperately painful to know what was going to happen the next day, but you have the knowledge that you have taken away his pain and that he spent his last night snuggled up beside you in the same way as he has always done.
He is at peace now. You have taken his pain away ... with your final act of love for your dear and precious Bubba.

Bless dear Bubba
with love
jilly

Hi Kimberly,

I'm very sorry for your loss. It seems Bubba didn't show any signs of being sick until a few weeks before the end....animals are like that....they are very good at masking an illness.

When we have a pet who because of its age is considered a senior, we know deep down in our souls that the day will come when we have to say good-bye. No matter how hard we try, there is just no possible way to prepare for the loss. We may think we are prepared, but none of us had a clue as to just how much it would hurt to give them up. I consider it equal to and sometimes even greater than the loss of a human in our lives.

It's extremely sad when we lose them and our lives become so different without them. It will take a long time to adjust to life without them, but we must continue on, no matter how much we are hurting.

You obviously loved Bubba very much (enough to free him of pain) and I know he had a great life with you. Find comfort in knowing he was one of the most loved cats in the whole world....and he surely knew that. There are so many amimals who never find someone to love them. I'm glad you and Bubba found each other and spent fourteen wonderful years together. We here at LS understand and share your pain and we hope you will continue to come here for support.

You're in my thoughts,
__Jim

Thank you for all your kind words. It really helps. I noticed in my subject line that I had put that bubba died sat dec 23. I am still not thinking clearly and would like to correct that. Bubba died on wednesday dec 22, yesterday. Unfortunalty bubbas last night with me was very uncomfortable for him as he was in pain. I fell asleep with bubba, his mother, and Bast his faithful feline girlfriend. Those two adored him so much. When I took bubba to the vet the next day I was prepared to hold him in his final moment. The vet offered one glimmer of hope that was a 1% chance that we could do surgery and see if he had a tumor that could be removed. I knew it would be a miracle if this was to happen but I also knew that if I didn't do it I would always wonder. Bubba went into surgery and the vet found cancer on his spleen, kidneys and lots of fluid in his abdominal cavity. He was terminal. The vet called and I gave him permission to put bubba to sleep. I was given the option to drive to the clinic and be there when the shot was given. I declined because I wanted to remember bubba the way he was, not on a surgery table. I believe in my heart I did the right thing. I will get his ashes next week. I recently lost my abyssinian cat less than a year ago, he was only 5 years old. It was a horrible tragedy. I took him to get his teeth cleaned and 4 days later he died from the anesthetic ketamine. When I brought him home he dropped to the floor and mewed and went into a coma. He kept going in and out of a death like state and meowing in a voice I had never heard. He was rushed to the vet and died in a cold cage 2 nights later. I was heart broken. I never got over that. I did bring another abyssinian cat into my life who is a joy. Sometimes I think that my Tommy visits me thru Dion.

Bubba was my very special cat that was bonded to me. I still have his mother who is 16 years old and she has not left my side since yesterday. She is bringing me her toys and laying them at my feet. I know that bubbas spirit is with me. He was the love of my life. Bubba taught me unconditional love.

Dear Kimberly,

I am so sorry to hear about your precious Bubba. You have to believe that he knew how much you loved him. LS is great. It will help you so much.

Love,

Lynn

I know that Bubba knew that I loved him very much. I also know that there wasn't anything that we could do to save him. When I saw that he started to suffer and I loved him so much It broke my heart to see him uncomfortable. I had to let him go.

What I am dealing with is just extreme saddness. I feel like a big chunk of my soul went with him. He was always there for me. When I was sick he laid with me and never left my side. He was always with me no matter what I was doing around the house. Whenever somebody said POW POW bubba he would flop on his side and roll on his back.. Silly cat!!!

I just want to know his spirit is alright and he is with me.....

It is Christmas Day and I miss Bubba. In memory of Bubba and all that he taught me about unconditional love, I will practice this in my every day life. A simple smile lightens our hearts and is contagious. I believe that our Furbabys are angels sent to us to teach us qualities we never knew we had. Bubba is now free to spread his little kitty wings and fly......

Fly my little angel till we meet again!!!!!!!!

Hi Kimberlyheide,

Take some deep breaths and just deal with one minute at a time the holiday season will soon be over and then you concentrate on seeing through you grief.

Love Sue

I am so sorry for the loss of you little Bubba, it is so hard when we have to help them cross over to the Rainbow Bridge and it is indeed an act of love. The greatest gift we can give to them to end their pain. Please write often.
Ann

It has been 1 week since I have lost my baby... I miss him awfully bad. I keep looking for him to cuddle with and he is not here. I have 5 other cats but I feel empty with out my special friend. Bubba was the one that snuggled with me, and when everything was wrong in my life he was the one who comforted me. Everything was all right when he was in my arms. I broke down and cried last night again.

I have to go 60 miles tomorrow to pick up his ashes. It will be a very hard trip for me. I won't have rick to go with me because he has to work.

As Bubba's post goes to page 3, I try to repost his memory here. I find myself posting to myself in this forum. I thought we were all grieving here. I feel like an outsider here who's loss is not as important as the rest. I came here for support and I find myself feeling sadder when i come in to see the same posts at the top of the forum and bubba who died only last week gets put to page 3.. I am sorry for saying this but its very sad. We all have lost very special friends and every single one of them is as important as each other..Maybe I don't communicate as well as others on how bad I hurt......................

Dear KimberlyHeide,
That just happens sometimes, especially when there are so many people on the site with so many different threads -- lots of activity, lots of pain. No one would ever intentionally slight you or your pain, I promise you. I was going to try to quote a response I sent to BillyC awhile back when this also happened to him, but I can't get it to work. You might want to read my reply to BillyC about Whitey's Death. Right now it's at the top of page 2 on that thread.

I am very very sorry about Bubba. I know how much it hurts and how much you miss him. It is so very hard at first, and for a long, long time, but one day you won't feel that it is just unbearable. When people told me that, I just couldn't imagine the day would come that I didn't just feel utterly desolate and empty. I could not imagine that I would ever really smile again or that the constant yearning to see my baby again would ever go away. So, I understand. We all do. It takes time, lots of time. before the sun shines at all in your world after this devastating loss. But it certainly sounds like you are on the right track -- learning important lessons from Bubba and implementing them in your life, even now when you are in so much pain.

I am sorry, sorry also to hear about your cat that died from the anesthesia. That has always been something that frightens me.

I am sorry you have to make that long trip by yourself to get his ashes. Please be careful. When you get back, please come here to talk again. I promise you again, you are not an outsider. Please understand it wasn't intentional, okay.
Bless you KH. We do care. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Love,
Marcia

kimberly, hang in there hun. I felt the same way a little bit with my first post. I got great support but then it faded to page two. Rather than stress over it, I focused on helping other people and then posted an update thread on my Punky when it was time. I've been rewarded many fold by having faith in the good hearts of these folks here.

It sounds like we both lost our babies on the same day. Today the 29th is my one-week anniversary too. Oh how I long for my fluff mutt! If only I could scoop him up in my arms just one more time!!! It still hits me like a big jolt that he is gone.

Well take care of yourself and keep posting!

Hi, Kimberly-

As Punky's Mom said, "Hang in there."

Sometimes it's helpful to start a new thread. I know when I first joined I was very said when Shiloh's story got pushed to page 3, but I kept coming back, kept responding to other people's posts, and started a new post a couple of times. Another great place to post is in the eulogy, tribute, etc. forum.

I know your hurting. We all are. Shiloh died 3 1/2 months ago and I'm still so sad.

You're in my thoughts.
Kathleen

I thank you for your replies.. I had a really tough morning dealing with his death. I was alone for a couple hours and feeing sad and with a big void in my heart. I went to work and kept myself busy..I cried tonight because I miss him so much. His mama is 16 years old and she has not left my side when I am home.

Life must go on for each and everyone of us. I don't think our special friends would like to see us crying and sad all the time, believe me this is very hard for me. Somedays will be harder than others. Tomorrow is going to be hard when I pick up his ashes. I figure I will have a heart to heart talk with him on our journey home.

In response to punky's mommy about Tommy my cat who died from a overdose of anesthetic, Be very careful in asking your vet what type of anesthetic they will be using. Ketamine seems to be the drug of choice and if your pet is sensitive to it or has a underlying problem that hasn't surfaced it can be very bad. They have other anesthetics that are not as hard on the kidneys and liver. They do however cost a little more money. I know that abyssinian cats do not tolerate ketamine at all, unfortunatly I found that out to late. I think Tommy may have had a underlying problem also. I still have alot of guilt over that death..I did bring another abyssinian cat into my household 2 months after his death. Abyssinian cats have qualities that are unique to their breed and I couldn't see my life without one. Dion has become a very special addition to the family...

Hi Kimberly. First let me say that my relatioship with Romeo was very similar to your relationship with Bubba. I lost him very unexpectedly and never had the chance to prepare myself or even to say good bye to him while he was still alive. For the first week or so that was the toughest part. Although I still have another cat and a dog, Romeo was really special. Every night he would curl up in my arm and lean his head back to have his head scratched. Whenever I would give him a kiss, he would take his paws and push my head down so that he could "groom" me. He loved me so much and was such a sweet loving boy. And then he was gone, and I would never be able to tell him how much I loved him, how good he was, and how sorry I was that I took him to the place where he died, without me being there to see him off. My dog has been with me for almost 13 years. Romeo came into my life when Elvis, my dog, was already 6 or 7 years old. Then I added Juliet about 6 months later.

Somehow, Romeo stole my heart. Not that it didn't take time. At first he used to bite my head instead of grooming it. He also didn't always sleep in my arm. All the good stuff came after time, probably a few years. So now I am left with Juliet and Elvis, mortal enemies if ever there were. She beats him up, sleeps in his bed, drinks out of his water bowl, steals his chew sticks, and worst of all (at least to Elvis), stares at him!!!! He, in turn, chases her whenever possible. I can't pick her up, she doesn't sleep in my arms, she doesn't kiss me and she doesn't purr. But she loves me. She shows her affection differently than Romeo. She sleeps on the pillow on the other side of the bed and loves being petted. She also head butts me alot. In the time that Romeo has been gone, I have gotten much closer with her. Perhaps it is because she no longer has to compete with Romeo (he was very possesive and protective of me). Whatever the reason, I am thankful to have the opportunity to give her the attention she craves. Elvis's story is far simpler. He is jealous and he was the first one here, so as far as he's concerned, the world revolves around him. No other animal has the right to gain my attention. For that matter, he feels no other dog has the right to even exist. At least no other male dog anyway!!! So as long as he gets his attention, he is fine.

I guess my point, in this long drawn out story, is that although your other 5 cats are not Bubba, I am sure they all love you. I've always found male cats to be more affectionate, at least in the cuddling, kisses aspect. I also believe that once you have more than a couple of cats, they tend to be a little more independant if that's possible!!! Try to strengthen your relationships with your other cats. It may take a long time but there is hope. Or, you can get a kitten or an adult cat from a shelter and start fresh. I prefer adult cats because you already know their personality when you adopt them.

When I first posted to this site, I was saddened that I did not get more replies. I saw that 30 or 40 or 50 people had viewed my post, yet only 3 or 4 or five replied. Some gave me good advice, some sympathized with me, and some simply said they were sorry for my loss. After the initial shock and grief began to wear off, I realized that that those few who did respond were enough for me. Even knowing that there is just 1 other person who cared enough to respond, or who thought they could help me by responding, was enough for me. Plus the fact that so many dozens took the time to read my post, even if they did not respond, still showed me they cared. Perhaps they didn't know what to say. Perhaps my story didn't touch them in a way that necesitated a response. Whatever the reason, it doesn't matter. I do not reply to every poster on here. First, it would be impossible to do so. Second, it is emotionally draining to put my heart into my responses, and for me to respond without feeling anything in my heart would be wrong. So I respond to those who seem to need the most help or those whose stories touch me in a special way. I feel guilty for not being able to respond to so many, but it doesn't mean I don't care about evryone's stories. Jilly Bromley, Baby Hannah's Mom, Punky's Mom, Zoey's dad, etc. I don't think I've written anything to those people that are grieving, but it doesn't mean their stories are lost on me. Ann H., Snookies owner, has posted so many times on this site and I never posted to her, not until I saw how much she was/is struggling with Snookie's death.

Although it may be too soon for you, the one thing that helped me more than any responses I've received, more than the passage of time, was the ability to post and try to help others who are going/have gone through the same things as me/all of us. That has been the most therapeutic thing for me. With time I know that will help you as well. If I could take away everyone's grief and pain with some magic words, I would do it in a heartbeat. But unfortunately we all know that is not how it works. So please continue to hang in there. Love your other kitties. And when you are ready, offer some kind words to others who have posted here and the new ones which will unfortunately have to post in the future. That is the best that we can do for one another.

I am not religous but do believe in God. So from the bottom of my heart, God Bless You and try to be strong. Someone, even if it is only one person, will always be here for you.

Steve

By the way, I lost Romeo the same way you lost Tommy. There is some question as to whether it was the anesthesia itself, or whether he had a disease called FIP which is apparently very hard to diagnose when it is in the less dangerous "dry" form as opposed to the more deadly "wet" form. If Romeo had it, he had the dry form.

I lost my first cat to the dry form of FIP it was a very insidious disease and very heartbreaking. When Red died Bubba was 2 years old. I asked the vet if my other cats could get the disease and he said not unless Red bit one of them. 12 years later I saw in Bubba what I saw in Red when he started to deteriorate. I asked the vet if bubba had FIP possibly from 12 years previous or from the vaccination I got all my cats against FIP(which I think they no longer use because it pre-disposes them to the disease) When the vet took Bubba in for surgery last week he did tell me that Bubba had alot of fluid in his stomach cavity which can point to FIP but he also found what he thought was cancer on his spleen and kidneys. Bubba was very sick and he would have only suffered either way so I gave the vet permission to let him rest. My other cats are my babies too and each one of them has very special qualities. They are very spoiled...

I believe that Tommy may have had an underlying kidney problem and thats why the anesthetic killed him.

Your Romeo was a very pretty cat.... Bless you both!!!

Actually my vet told me not to get another cat because Romeo could have passed it to Juliet. She also told me the same thing about the FIP vaccine. Unfortunately, dry FIP can turn into wet FIP. The only indications she found on Romeo during autopsy were legions on his colon. I wish I could get another cat but I can't take that chance. Stress can cause the FIP to come out of dormancy and I can't risk losing Juliet that way. Have you ever seen an ocicat? They came about by breeding an Abyssinian with a Siamese. They are beautiful.

One of my cats is an ocicat who was a cast away cause she wound up with a classic pattern instead of spots. I got her from the ocicat breeder who I also got tommy from. When I figure out how to post pics I will post her pic. My other cats are little heinz 57's and they are awsome too.....

Wow. She is beautiful, even if she doesn't have spots!!!! What is she like?

The picture worked? I was messing with my sig and it must have come thru... I took it off but at least you saw her!!!! She is a really neat cat. She was very protective of Bubba when he was sick. She is 7 years old.. Of all the purebreeds I have had which is only 3 I am really stuck on abyssinians... I had 2 scottish folds years ago...One died of cancer when she was only 6 and the other one died of kidney failure when she was 10....

is she lovable? jealous? does she need to have outside time? I hate to ask but what sort of symptoms does FIP have? I need to know for future reference...

Bast is very lovable but she is skittish until she gets to know you. She loves this toy that is like a fishing pole with feathers on the end of it and she drags it from room to room until she gets you to play with her.. She is very persistant... The sysmtoms I saw in Red and bubba were first in their eyes. They had a glassy look to them, then they started to lose weight really fast and their hip bones started to show. They just keep losing weight until they waste away. Which could be cancer too. But Red was confirmed with FIP, The vet thought Bubba could have had it, but he felt that cancer was the main role player in his death. I have a really good vet book for cats and in this book it says that only 5% of cats actually get the FIP virus. My cats are strictly indoors cats. After my experience with Red 12 years ago I never let them out of the house. I have one cat who is Bubbas mom that goes for walks on the leash and loves rides in the car and truck!!!

What is the title? I would like to buy it and also who wrote it?

The title is "Cat owners home veterinary Handbook" by Delbert D Carlson D.V.M. I bought this book years ago and it has helped me alot. There maybe an updated version or a better book by now. I believe that there is a cornell vet book for homeowners also. I remember I wanted to get that one too.. I can talk to the vet pretty straight forward after I have read this book 200 times....

This is my sweet Bubba

Hi Kimberly,
I'm sorry you are having to go through this grief. I know how much you are missing Bubba. Also, please don't feel like you are being ignored or your post is not as important as the others. I think it's a busy time here, and many of us are finding our way back due to the holidays and the sadness that is flooding back because we soooo miss our furbabies that have crossed over the bridge.

I had to take a break from LS for a time as I so wanted to comfort everyone, but I was not healing. I was just drowning in my sorrow and needed to pick myself up and try to live my life again.

Please keep writing and know the members of LS do care.
Libby

I am off work today and getting ready for my 60 mile trek to kearney to pick up Bubbas ashes. I have noticed today the balance of my remaining 5 cats has changed and they are really spunky today. I love it when they are naughty. I am seeing new friendships being formed with my existing cats. Bonds that they have never had with each other are being formed. My little abby cat is playing with stanley my 10 year old alley cat.......They are tearing it up, and hunting mice in the house together. They caught a mouse the other day and Stanley was tossing it in the air like he plays with his toy mouse. I do however worry about Mort(Bubbas mom) she is 16 and seems real saddened also from Bubbas passing. I have been snuggling with her at night and letting her know that she is very loved also.......I love cats and I will always have room for another baby who needs me.

I also realize that when I took on my cats there would be a time when we would have to go thru their passing. Unfortanatly their life span is not as long as ours. I would rather out live my babies and see them thru their passing than if I died and they had a very uncertain future. Many shelters with older cats are products of their owners dying before them. I would never rest easy in my passing knowing that my babies had that type of future.

Bubba looks so sweet.

I can only imagine the changes the other cats' relationships will go through. Even with only one other cat in our house, her behavior has changed significantly...some for the better, some for the worse. She definitely needs more contact and reassurance now.

Hi Kimberly,
I am really touched by your post. My 9 year old lab is terminally sick and I am trying to prepare for the loss and make her last days comfortable for her. I really feel like I need some support friends to talk to that understand how hard and overwhelming this all is. I have a 6 year old boxer and 2 cats..but Duchess is the senior pet and this is heartbreaking... Got the news her cancer has spread today... She is very ill.
I do know that your bubba is at rest and not in any pain or hurt. Grieving hurts but is necessary... but I do think it helps to go thru it together. Your loss is page one news to me... I have found that animal lovers are very special compasionate people and I hope to get to communicate with people here. I look at my dear Dutchess and my heart is breaking yet I am so thankful to have been blessed with her for 9 years... I just can't stand to see her not feeling well and I have a lot of fears about what is to come.
(((hugs))) Hang in there and please continue to share your feelings of loss and news about how you and your pet sibs are dealing. Terri