I just lost my dog Seymour Saturday 12/11/04. He was nearly 12, we got him as a rescue a little over 5 years ago. He had been hit by a car and rehabed but unfortunately the injuries came back to haunt him. He lost his ability to walk last February and we got him back but he started to get worse later in the summer. We used acupuncture for awhile with good results but than that stopped helping. We used NSAIDS and tramadol to the max. Before that he was on steroids which made his nuts and anipryl to help his thinking. I am questioning myself over and over again. For example on 2/14 before his legs went out on 2/19 I walked my dogs and he was a bit slow, I pushed him along a bit faster because I was in a hurry- did I bring on his loss of use of his legs? I keep looking at it and thinking that if he was crated and kept quite during the day and than comes out of the crate unable to walk that it probably would have happened anyway but I am just beside myself now. I am told that his back was terrible- the x-rays showed advanced arthritis. I would have done anything to have helped him but he also had thinking problems which made it hard-he didn't see our efforts as helpful but would bark and become quite agitated.
I cannot find peace right now and the more I talk the better I feel- I just needed a forum where others would be open and receptive. The rest of the world will only listen for awhile b/c they don't perceive the loss of a pet as being that much of a loss. thanks.

Hi Lisa

Oh my god just how super human we expect ourselves to be.

Since punishing myself for helping poor Jude to rest I read again and again some poor sole torturing themselves for having done the same thing.

What you are thinking, feeling, saying, being are all too normal, part of the mourning process it would seem is to punish ourselves for every little deed of love that we have ever performed.

Sounds to me like you did all you could and more, now you just need to take one minute at a time and breath deeply through all the thoughts of ‘I should have’ and ‘I could have’ until one day you find yourself smiling at the memories.

You gave a life of love and comfort and then when it was needed you took away his pain at the expense of your own.

Keep ploughing forward through the grief, look for the sun on the other side, I promise you that it is there.

Love Sue

Lisa, so sorry for you. I know what you mean about "the rest of the world." Family is family, whether furry or not, and you lost a family member on Saturday. We're here to listen to as much as you want to say.

I'm so sorry about Seymour. It sounds like you gave him (and he gave you) 5 wonderful years.

You've come to the right place. Everyone here will comfort and embrace you as you deal with your grief.

My thoughts are with you.
Kathleen

Hi Lisa, I am so sorry about your Seymour and I am so glad that you gave him a good life and did all that was possible to do. I too know what you mean about the rest of the world, even with a human they think we should get over it within a few weeks time. A lot of people can't understand that our babies are family members they think we should just forget and go our way. Come and post often and share your life with Seymour with us. I am sure nothing you did by walking him faster could have made his legs give out. We are here to listen, to cry, and even laugh with you over funny things your Seymour did.
Ann

I'm very sorry to learn of the loss of your beloved Seymour. The time the two of you had together was well spent. I understand and share your pain. When you're a little stronger, please tell us more about your life with him. I bet you have some really funny stories about Seymour and we'd love to hear them.

Take care,
__Jim

I have found such comfort in your messages. Bless you all.
I went and talked with my vet yesterday-he spent nearly 30 minutes with me at no charge and assured me that I didn't cause Seymour to have any of the problems he had. He was so kind.
I don't have a digital camera so I cannot post my boys picture. He was so handsome. He loved to run and when he did he literally has a smile on his face-my heart would leap for joy when he would see me and come running to be near me. I am trying to keep that picture in my mind so that is what I see him doing now-running and smiling.
I will come back often as this hurt is quite deep, and it is so wonderful that you all understand and care so much.
Lisa

Hi, Lisa -

I'm so glad you've found some comfort here. We're all here for each other. It's a wonderful, caring place.
Kathleen