Thanks to everyone who helped me get through yesterday. So far I feel a tiny bit better; I think I may be starting to come to terms with what we did and that it truly was the best thing for Rusty. I'm sure this is just a baby step and I will fall many more times, but if you all will just hang in there with me we will make it. I hope the new week brings us all something to smile about.

Everything that you are going through is very normal.

The guilt the pain and the mental torturing is all part of the mourning process and you just have to ride with the waves for the next few months im afraid.

I too had my precious Jude put to sleep and in the end I could not accept that what I had done was ok so I just had to forgive myself for not letting her suffer anymore.

One thing you’ll learn from the postings on this forum is that even those who loose their babies naturally feel guilty and that they could have done more!!!!!!

It is a crazy world we live in.

Love Sue

I am so glad you are feeling better today. I don't want to bring you down but just remember there will be many tears to come but we are all here to help each other. I don't know how I could ever make this painful journey if not for the love and caring of the wonderful people on LS. Just when we think we are getting a little better another wave of pain strikes it's ugly barbed arrows in our hearts. Come and talk often it really helps ease the pain and knowing someone has walked the same path helps so much.
Ann

We're all her to help, comfort, support, and embrace you.

You're in my thoughts,
Kathleen

Hang in there! It's hard at times, but we are all here to help you in any way we can.

Hugs Sharon

What you have done for your baby is the ultimate gift. You have ended his suffering. Many animal owners would not have made the sacrifices you and your husband made to help him through the last couple years. Within the next few years I will most likely be forced with the same decision as you. Currently my dog is in excellent health, but he is approaching 13, the high end of the life span for his breed. I do not look forward to that day, and no doubt I will be devastated when it comes, but I cannot allow one who's given me such devotion, love, and companionship to suffer. As I've read elsewhere on this website, we must take away our animals suffering and make it our own. I suppose that is the price we pay for such undying loyalty and such.

I know you may not believe it, but things will get easier. Christmas may be a very difficult time for you, but soon you will remember how he made you smile and laugh and love, and even though there will always be a void in your heart by his abscence, you will not dwell on the end of his days.

Today is 2 weeks exactly since I lost my Romeo. I have come a long way. I still kiss the box containing his ashes good-night. I still kiss my computer screen before I turn it off (I have him set as my wallpaper). And I still tell him every day how good he was and that I love him and miss him. But I am moving forward and I suppose that is the nature of dealing with grief.

Please do not feel guilty or ashamed. You've done one of the hardest things you will ever have to do. Somebody will always be here to read your posts or lend a shoulder or offer advice. Try to be strong and god bless.

Steve