I'm new here and I really need some help!! My husband and I have the most wonderful chocolate lab in the world. He is 14 years old and having some terrible health issues. His back legs give out on him constantly, he has severe urinary and fecal incontinence and it seems like he gets no enjoyment out of life anymore. He is only happy when Daddy comes home from work as he is truly a daddy's boy though he loves us both (and his younger brother, the golden lab named Nutter).

It is so very heartbreaking seeing him try to walk up our apartment stairs when coming back in from his walks outside. He winds up practically crawling on his belly up the stairs. His back legs also give out on him every time he has to stand for any length of time, especially when eating his food. I have had him on Deramaxx for a couple of months now and it seemed to help a little at first but now it doesn't appear to be very effective.

I have made an appointment for Monday, December 13 at the vet's office to consult with the doctor about having him put out of his misery. The problem is I'm not sure if this absolutely has to be the end. I have been searching articles on the internet for the past week as to when is the right time. I am crying almost constantly and I just can't stand it any more. The thought of losing him is tragic, but the thought of him suffering and trying to do things like normal just to make us happy is killing me!!!! Even though he is still here right now, it feels as though I have lost him already!!

If anyone has any pearls of wisdom to share with me, please do. I have had animals all of my life, but have never had to make this decision and never had any input before - it was all handled by my parents. I am 33 now, and it's up to me and my husband to make this decision. I want to do what is right for him so he can go with dignity and not be in pain, but I'm having a great deal of trouble with this!!! We were both hoping he would last until Christmas, at least, but I don't really see that happening.

Thanks for any help!!!

It is a very tough decision to make. I had promised my kitties a good life, plus a good death. I have had to honour my promise twice, and it was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. Your vet will be able to advise you whether now is the time or not, or if there is anything further he can do for your pet. I have no words of wisdom at all. I kept hoping I wouldn't have to make that choice, but in the end, I did have to. I just wanted to offer you a bit of support.

You are in my thoughts.

Goliathsmom,

You know what you need to do. I think what you really need is confirmation and support. Well - you have mine. What you need to do is exactly what I would do in the same cir%%stances. Christmas is a holiday of giving - of selfless acts - of love... Even for non-Christians, this season often brings out the humanity in all of us.

If your vet cannot find a way to assist with the problems he is having - and if they are never going to go away - then there is only one thing you can do.

Most people would never want to tell another person to put their pet to sleep - for fear that they would seem insensitive. But I've been there - at that horrible moment - when I realized that my choices were two. Let him suffer - or let ME suffer. Don't let him suffer. You are his guardian, his family, and the people he loves more than anything. Take his suffering away, if you must, and let him go to a place where he can live forever without pain.

I don't think we really have a choice sometimes. I hope your vet tells you otherwise. But if he doesn't, then it's your duty to the one you love to be strong, be brave, and take his suffering as your own.

My heart and thoughts are with you - and I hope against hope that you will hear what you desperately want to hear from your vet.

Either way - we are thinking of you in our dreams and in our hearts.

Hi,

I'm sorry your Boy is feeling so very horrible. I have no pears of wisdom, but I can share with you my feelings and the promise I made my black ##er spaniel Ebony. Ebony battled with bladder and kidney cancer, it spread to other unknown parts too. When I found out she had cancer I made her a promise, I promised her out loud literally telling her "Don't you worry my sweet girl, when things get hard and I know they will, I will take all your pain and suffering and put it on my shoulders and not let you feel the pain." Well I had to keep my promis on 12/6/04 the night before my beloved girl fell down in pain and couldn't walk anymore I mean she could drag herself around. She couldn't get up to use the bathroom, so that night my husband and I knew that Monday morning I would be calling the vet. I stayed up with her all night and laid on the floor with her and poured every ounce of love I had into petting her and comforting her. On Noon Monday I kept my promise and had my girl put down. By far the hardest thing I have had to do in my 33 years, by far the most pain ful, but now a few days later I still cry but I have come accept I did a wonderful thing for a family member, I kept my promise and let her go with dignity and helped maintain the quality of life she was use to. It was an act of love.

I hope I have helped you in some small way. Come back here and come back often there are some wonderful people here, none that I know personally but so many have read my story and some have responded and I am so grateful for there support.

Hugs to you and Goliath
Sharon

your post reflects my past of my parents taking care of these kind of things, whenever something bad happened with the family pets, my dad took care of it and I never had to face the pain or trauma,,,he took care of that and then comforted me. So when Moose got hit by a car I had to run down the street when I heard him scream, it broke his back, we then had to sling him on a blanket in the car and to the vet...it was so traumatic, and dad is passed so I was on my own,,,that little protected girl.......on her own. The next day they told me they could not save him...I have been lost ever since, I could not face saying good-bye to my most precious companion who had filled the void of my parents being gone. I loved him so much.
Labs are so special and smart, very personable, they are also prone to hip displacement, at 9 Moose was starting to have some problems getting up I knew I would have to address the issue sooner or later, after he got up he was okay, it seemed to loosen up his joints. I know how hard this must be, you are facing what I eventually would have. When it becomes about them instead of us we do what we must. As a wise poster said here, "We take their pain away and give it to ourselves." Coming here and posting through tears has helped me so much, I found genuine people who were grieving too, I have had a very hard time working through the guilt,saddness and being so lonely without him, LS friends have helped me through, It couldn't have hurt worse if it had been my own child. We all type through tears here and we try and be there for each other, and help each other through what ever it is we have to go through, we make good friends along the way and we learn to return what we have been given. My prayers are with you in this so very hard of a time. So many here are also saying good-bye, and some have lost them suddenly, everyone is working through it together in sadness and encouragement. Pamela

I can't thank you all enough for your words of encouragement. I am so sorry to read about all of your losses; so tragic and heartbreaking. When I saw this website I knew I would find people here who understood what I was going through. So many times, either in jobs that I have had or past school experiences, people would "make fun" of someone who just lost their precious pet or, as I have seen them called on this website (and thoroughly agree with!) "furkids". I am glad there is a place where we can all come and share with each other.

Maybe one day I'll be able to return the kindness in some way, either directly to each one of you or indirectly by trying to comfort someone else.

My thoughts and well-wishes are with all of you also.

Goliaths Mom,
I am very sorry to hear of your situation. The best advice I can think of is to love him now. I didn't have that chance and I had to make a decision on the spot. I didn't have the time I would have liked to have given him if I had known that he was going to have to leave. Please think of your furkid. As previous posters have said "we take away their pain unto ourselves". . . is very true. I still cry about my boy and it has been almost six months. I was in the boat everyone else is . . . someone else made that decision and now it was my turn. I wanted him to stay because he was my rock and best friend for 14 years. We were a package when I met my husband . . . it was both of us or not at all!!! I wouldn't have given him up for the world and when the time came, and naturally I didn't want it to ever come, I think I made the right decision. I miss him greatly. I hope that you and your husband will have the strength to do the right thing for your furbaby. I know it is not easy but for right now shower him with all your love that you can give. You have that time that I did not. And if he has to go for now, he will be out of pain and whole again waiting for you and your husband to be reunited with him. He will always be with you no matter what. Just as he is now. My thoughts are with you and Goliath during this hard, difficult time.
ChrissyW

I'm so sorry that you are facing this situation. I guess you really have to get your vet's opinion. Maybe you should even go for a second and/or third opinion.

And, as has been said: LOVE HIM NOW. God, I wish I had known my dog was going to suddenly die of a heart failure. I would have done anything to have been with her in her last hours.

I wish you all the best, and I really hope that they can find a way to help him. Have you guys tried Metacam on him? It helped my surviving dog for several months with his arthritis, although he's off it now due to a GI upset it caused.

I am so sorry to hear that your precious baby is in such bad shape. A vet should know for sure if he is in pain and if the quality of his life is good or not. It does not sound like it is unless they can help him further it sounds really bad.

I too am facing my little girl dieing. I promised Snookie that when she gets in a lot of pain or does not enjoy life any more I will help her over to the Rainbow Bridge. I love her more than life itself and will not let her suffer although it will break my heart. We all must do what is best for them and not for ourselves.

No one can tell you what would be best, you are the one who lives with Goliath and knows how bad he really is. I sought out many vets but each one said the same thing they can not save her. It's the end time that I fear so much but love will have it's way when Snookies time comes and I will do what needs to and has to be done. I have cried for 10 months and she has been so sick off and on but so far she has recovered each time.

You will find it in your heart to do the right thing since you love him so much. The power of love is great and you will find the strength if the vet says he has no quality of life left. I am so sorry.
Ann

Dear Goliath's mom,

The decision you're making is one of the hardest decisions you'll ever make. Please know that the thoughts of everyone here at LS are with you. We've all been there.

Last May my Shiloh was diagnosed with malignant lymphoma. She was only 5 years old, so I decided to give her a chance of recovery by opting for chemotherapy. My vet oncologist assured me that Shiloh would not be sick from the chemo, and she wasn't. Shiloh tolerated the chemo wonderfully. In August we were approaching the end of her chemo regiment, I thought we had the cancer licked, but all of a sudden Shiloh came out of remission. The oncologist said that her cancer was very aggresive. I remember crying all the way home from that vet appointment. My vet said that there were other things we could try...chemo ##tails and such that might work, but might make Shiloh sick. I remember asking myself..."If I go through this next round, am I doing it for me, or am I doing it for Shiloh?" I knew that if I answered "me," I was doing it for the wrong reason. It was very hard for me to tell my vet that I had decided to let Shiloh live out her last few weeks chemo free. But that's what we did. On Sept. 16th, Shiloh started feeling pretty bad, she couldn't eat and she seemed to be in pain. The next day I made that call to my vet. It was difficult, but I knew I had to do it for Shiloh. She was suffering, and to keep around just 1 or 2 more days would have been wrong.

The best advice I can give you when you make this decision is to ask if your vet will come to your house. My vet came to my house. It was peaceful and comforting for all of us to be in the security of our own home.

Again, my thoughts and prayers are with you.
Kathleen

Dear Goliath's Mom,

I am not yet in the position where I will have to put my dog to sleep, although he is old and I know that time may come. I'd like to think that if he was in pain I would be able to make that decision without a hesitation. But I won't really know until the time is upon me. I know that is going to be tough to choose to do so and I know I will be a wreck. But I also know for all the happiness he has given me, I can not allow him to suffer. What I can say, and this certainly won't make your decision any easier, is that for all the devotion, love, happiness and companionship that my dog Elvis has given me, asking for nothing in return other than some attention, is that I will do what I have to do because he will not deserve to live a life which no longer has any quality to it. You may have to make one of the toughest decisions in your life in the next few days, just know that there are people to support you and help you deal with the grief if putting him down is the best thing for him. Best of luck and god bless.

Steve

Dear Goliaths Mum

I am so sad for you. You have had so many happy years together with your special boy, and now it is close to the time for parting. It is such a heart wrenching time, and your little one must now rely on you to do what is best for him. You have always loved and cared for him so much and now is the time to love and care for him even more so when he is so ill and vulnerable. You know him better than anyone ... is he suffering, is he miserable and confused at what is happening to him, if he is then maybe this weekend will help you to decide whether the time has come to release his little spirit from his poor tired body. It is the ultimate sacrifice we make for them, but it is kindest gift of all.

Bless you and your precious Goliath. I will be thinking of you this weekend.

Jilly

All of you are so wonderful. I truly, truly thank you for all the kind words and help you have been. I can only say I am so greatful for finding this forum and for all of you. You have all made me realize that this is truly the right thing to do, though certainly never easy. Hearing some of your stories has made me greatful for being able to have these (probably) last days with my baby and being able to at least say goodbye. I'll have no regrets this way and, for that, I'm very lucky. To those of you who had no choice - your babies were either taken from you suddenly or, at the last minute something happened that forced you into making this split-decision choice - please know you have my deepest heart-felt sympathy and admiration for the courage and compassion you have shown. You are all in my hearts and minds. Thank you so much.

Just remember, you'll have friends here that will embrace and support you through all of this.

My thoughts are with you.
Kathleen

I am so sorry to hear about your precious baby. First and foremost, I just want to say I agree with Steph in that it is important to get a second or even third opinion. The guilt afterwards can be so overwhelming so you it's so important to be as certain as you possibly can be if you have to make the decision.

Here are a couple of articles and a website about senior health care I hope you will read. You might also check into homeopathic treatments. There are lots of books on that subject.

Of course, I know you don't want your baby to suffer. I am so sorry you are in this terrible position. I will be praying for you and hope very much there's something that can help him feel much better so he can stay with you longer. LOVE, LOVE, LOVE him while you have him. Give him all the treats he likes, take pictures and do all the things he's able to do and the things he loves. I know you are and will. Just one question, does he have to go up and down the stairs? If not, that would solve one problem. Maybe you could get a baby gate or something. And there are diapers. I don't know if that's something you might want to consider or not. Of course, it's about the entire quality of life, so it's just so hard to know. Another thing, talk to your baby about his situation and see if you can get some idea of how he feels about it. You may be able to get some signs from him that might help a bit. I have read over and over again that this is a really good thing to do. I wish I had talked to my little Hannah girl about her situation more.
Here are the articles and/or links.
Love,
Marcia
Senior Dog Care:
http://www.srdogs.com/Pages/care.fr.html

About euthanasia and making the decision:
http://www.aplb.org/services/euthanasia.shtml

About arthritis and homeopathic treatments:
http://www.arthrix.com/

I'm so sorry to hear about your beloved dog.

My dog, Max, seemed in perfect health the day he died. He jumped around, went for his morning walk and ate breakfast. That night, he was in terrible pain -- the vet couldn't tell why and planned to do more tests the next morning, but phoned me at 3 am to say that Max was failing. I asked if he was in pain and was told yes, so I immediately told the vet to put him down and not to wait for me to get back to the hospital.

I hung up and cried and wailed to my husband, "Did I do the right thing? Was there a chance for life I took away?" I drove to the vet -- when I got there, I was told that he went on his own before they could put him down.

I was fortunate in that my decision was confirmed by my own beloved dog. Very few of us are lucky enough to get confirmation in this way, but I can tell you that if you're looking at this website, the decision you make will absolutely be in the best interests of your dog.

My dog was in pain and never showed it until the end -- they are more courageous than we are. If your dog is showing pain, it's time. You would never ask the question if it wasn't time. Your dog knows you love him and that your decision is for his sake, not your own. My heart goes out to you, Karen

I know where you are. I had to put my two Scotties, Gus and Wendy, down within the last 5 years. They were both 14 at the time of their deaths. Find comfort in knowing that Goliath has had such a good, happy life, and has brought you so much love. You have to give him peace now.

You know Goliath best and deep down, you'll know when the time is right. You are seeking advice so I'll give my opinion on the matter. I believe quality of life is very important. From what you stated in your post, it seems Goliath is hanging on for your sake and I think he needs you to help him let go. If the vet tells you nothing can be done to help him, you can grant him your final act of love by giving him a pain-free death. It will be the most difficult thing you've ever done, but you'll do it because you know you must and Goliath will thank you for it.

I'm very sorry you are faced with having to make such a decision. I had my dog of almost twelve years put to sleep so I know exactly what you are going through. Please keep us informed on how things are going. All of us here truly understand and share your pain.

You're in my thoughts,
__Jim

Making the decision to bring an end to Goliath's pain won't be easy; our furries usually let us know when that time has come, sometimes all too explicitly, other times less so. Accepting that decision in your heart, though, will be one of the hardest things you'll ever do. So many of us have had to make that terrible choice, but only you will know when the time has come to say that final goodbye.

Thinking of you,