A picture of my Pal Ebony

Hi ,

I am so happy to have found this forum! Yesterday (12-6-04) we had to put our dear sweet ##er spaniel Ebony to sleep. Ebony was a 12 year old female black ##er spaniel. We found Eb in a garbage can behind a 7-Eleven 11 years ago. Ebony had bladder and kidney cancer and in the last month her tumor grew and grew like nothing I have ever seen in my 33 years. Sunday night was like any other night she was happy go lucky a little tired she had taken to sleeping much more than usual. At about 10 PM she fell and cried out in pain, I carried her to her bed and new something had changed, and the time had arrived, you see I promised Eb when she got sick, as soon as I knew she was in pain and couldn't bear the pain, I would taker the pain away and make it mine. I would make the toughtest decision of my life and put her down. That night I slept on the floor with my best friend and my husband would come and lay with us too. My 3 year old was fast asleep. My husband and I both knew if we were to stay true to the promise I made her, this would be our last night with our beloved pal. My poor sweet girl couldn't stand and couldn't get to the bathroom, she had a sad look in her eyes, and I believe she knew that her time had come. I believe that her mind, heart and spirit did not fail her just a cancer stricken body that couldn't keep up with her. At noon on Monday mornning I took my friend on our last road trip to the vet and had her pain ended.

My only problem is that I can't stop crying, I keep looking for her in all her usual spots, I keep hearing her. My daughter is crying occasionally my other ##er Daisy is looking for her. I am so sad, sad to the core of my being, angry because I feel like I needed more time with her, more time to love her, more time to pet her soft coat, more time. I MISS MY FRIEND! Whenever I would cry my baby would jump up on my lap and lick the tears off my face and wag her tail til I smiled, and now I don't have her to dry this imense puddle of tears. Thank you all for listening to me.

Hugs Sharon

I am so sorry you had to have your beloved Ebony put to sleep. I know how the tears just come and don't quit when you love them so very much. Now that saying really is true that one mans trash is another mans treasure. I am so thrilled to hear that you took her from a garbage can and gave her all those years of love and devotion as well as she did you. Keep coming and sharing your love of her with us. You will be sad for a long time to come, when we had Chili Bean put to sleep I cried for the 1st week every day. Then it got better the 2nd week and by the 3rd week the tears came all the time again.
Ann

Sharon, you sound a dear and lovely person and I know that your dear Ebony had the happiest life imaginable with you.
Let the tears fall for her, your darling baby deserves them and you miss her most dreadfully. These early days are so very hard, when we see and hear them in every place and turn round and expect them to be here.

It is only 4 days for me since I lost my Ellie. This forum has been a lifesaver for me. Whenever everything is overwhelming Iknow I can come here and be with others going through the same. It is very healing.

My thoughts are with you Sharon, you are not alone.

jilly

Hi Sharon,

Your Ebony was a beautiful girl...thanks for sharing the pic. I'm very sorry that you are having to go through this. She was a huge part of your life for so long and I know it's very sad and heartbreaking to lose her.

It sounds like she had a wonderful life with you and your family and I know she was very grateful to be loved so much. Things will slowly get better, Sharon...you won't always feel as you do now. All of us here share your pain and we'll be here to listen anytime you need to talk.

Take care,
__Jim

Dear Sharon,

Your post brought tears to my eyes. I lost Shiloh 3 months ago to cancer. My last night with her was spent very much like your last night with Ebony. That night I knew it was time...Shiloh let me know, I will always be grateful to her for making the decision for me. She lived life to the fullest up until two days before she died. It sounds like Ebony and Shiloh were very much alike.

I can tell you from my own experience, you'll have good days and bad days. I remember after Shiloh passed I felt a sense of relief because I knew she wasn't suffering anymore. But that sense of relief was short lived and I found myself missing everything about her. As time passes you won't cry everyday all day long, but you'll still have moments when you'll think of Ebony and the tears will just pour like rain. The important thing to remember is that Ebony will always be a part of you. I find comfort in knowing that Shiloh and I will be reunited one day at the rainbow bridge, but until then I carry her spirit with me always in my heart.

Sharon, my thoughts and prayers are with you.
Kathleen

Sharon,
I am so sorry you lost your sweet Ebony; we never have enough time with them. Just know that you're not alone in your grief, or sadness, or anger. I lost my Misty cat almost six weeks ago and have managed one whole day without crying. Also remember that although you may only get a few replies to your postings, that there are many others who read your messages but can't find the words or the strength to reply; they still share your pain and your tears. You're not alone in here.

I am so sorry for your loss of Ebony. Your post made me cry. When my 17-yr old furkitty passed June 25th of this year, I was devastated. I cried and cried and thought I would never get through it but I did. I still have my moments of crying. I love and miss my baby so much. It's hard for me with the holidays as his death date was on Thanksgiving and will be on Christmas to and that is how it'll be for years to come. I just want you to know that coming here will help you tremendously just as it did me. I am very glad I came here. You cry all that you want to as it's a healing to do so. Ebony had a very loving and caring person in her life and she thanks you for rescuing her out of the garbage can and giving her a good life. She's at the Bridge now and is no longer in pain. She's happy, not ill, nor in pain, running and playing with all her new friends. She misses you to and is waiting for you however long it will be.

My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Wanda

What a bueatiful little sweetheart. And does she sure look comfortable under those covers. I am sorry you had to say Goodbye. It has been quite the devastating experience for me losing my Moose, it was an accident. You can find peace with the fact you gave Ebony a wonderful wam life and you loved her so much, and you kept your promise till the end. What great love you showed for her. All of us here can relate to what is happening to you, the grief is so painful, the getting used to them not being with us so hard. It does help to share with people who are hurting too, makes the pain just a bit more bareable. Pamela and Moose

Im so sorry for what you have had to go through, it is a long hard journey ahead of you.

Your pain will ebb and flow for a good few months and the loving people on this sight will be at hand to help and encourage you through you grief.

Just remember throughout the hard times ahead that you gave your sweet Ebony a long and wonderful life and as hard as it is to live with having to have her put to sleep your love made her whole life a beautiful adventure and she will love you forever for that.

Love Sue

Hi Sharon, I lost my Bronte 6 weeks ago and the tears are not as frequent but the pain is still there. The one thing that very much impressed me with your story is that you made a promise and you kept it. That is true strength and ultimate love. You spent her last night with her feeling loved, warm, and protected. I wish you well through these holidays. And as for Ebony's beautiful picture, that is a fitting way to remember her. At peace. Big hugs, April

Dear Sharon,
I am sitting here feeling your pain. It has been 2 days since I had to put down Megan and while the pain is dulling, it is still there. I think now I am feeling more guilty than I ever had, second guessing,even though my mind knows what I did was right, my heart is just not buying it. Loosing somone you love is never easy and loosing your best friend is unbearable at times. I have found great solace in this site. Reading the posts and knowing that there are others who have experienced my pain does not make it easier but I know I am not alone.
Many many hugs!!!
Carol

Thank you all for your support.

Love Sharon and Family