I do not wish to share this post.

Don't let anyone else tell you how much you need to grieve for, think of, or remember Abby. That's a choice that you and only you can make.

Things that trigger the crying is one I still haven't figured out. I see the urn with her ashes in it every day, and while it still makes me sad, I haven't cried over it for a few days. But...opening a cabinet and finding the harness she wore when she was a kitten triggered the sobbing I thought I was getting over.

I cant beleive a vet said that. He should know how much or babies mean to us. Some people are good vets and bad people persons. Email him? That sounded uncoushier. The feelings you are having, they are the realization of the truth of the matter manifesting itself in our being, it is a painful ripping feeling and the ripping of our soul will be come healed but the scar always there. I could not look at anything of Mooses I put his favorite bear his ashes and his pic's away, the pain has been awful, only last week could I look at his pics and it has been 7wks. I still cry and am sometimes tormented by the way it ended. I hope you find a way to cope, mine has been.....coming to LS. Thinking of you. Pamela

You are still feeling the fresh pain of losing your precious Abby and no one should tell you to get another baby, or to get over it, or to not think of her every waking moment. You will know when it is time for you to get another baby when you start feeling as though your heart is ready to burst with longing to hold, cuddle and give your heart to another one.

One week after we lost our chihuahua Chili Bean I was still in the state of unbelief. At that point I was still crying off and on most of the time. It would even hit me when I went to the store and I would leave in tears. The tears don't come as often as they did and I have better control over them now but they still fall freely. I don't think we will ever get over them, we just learn to live with the pain when it gets a little softer. The pain is still fresh for us too and I still think of Chili Bean all the time.
Ann

I am so sorry for your loss - I know what it is like to lose a big part of your heart. For a while the entire world seems to be in shades of gray. But trust me, the colours will all come back - they are just hidden behind a veil of grief.

I can tell by your words that you are already aware of what the healing process will be like - slow, sometimes painful - but inevitable. And the memories - particularly the happy ones - will slowly become much stronger that the memories of our loss.

Please try to remember that your vet's "suggestions" are attempts to help you deal with what, to him, is a very common experience - grief over the loss of a pet. His suggestions, while insensitive, are not without merit. Although I would never suggest to someone to "get a replacement" I think that sometimes, in our grief, we can focus on the words and not the intentions behind them. That vet has probably watched literally hundreds of people lose someone they love - sometimes even a vet is allowed to be human and make an error in judgement, no?

I sometimes wonder how they can do their work, day after day, when death is such a common part of their jobs...