My 6 1/2 year old male shorthair tabby, Sam, dies suddenly last Sunday. Sam was actually living with my ex-husband because he couldn't get along with another cat in the household. My ex came home from work and found Sam dead on the floor. Sam had been acting strangely for a couple of days prior, yowling and then having some trouble with walking. My ex called me the night before Sam died and told me what was happening. Our only option would have been to take him to the emergency vet, which is horribly expensive and we are both broke. Since the decision was mine to make, I told my ex, "Let's wait until Monday and take him to the regular vet." Bad mistake. Now my Sam is gone and I keep kicking myself for being so stupid.

If it's true that pets are still around after they die to comfort us, I hope Sam can forgive me. I miss him terribly and my heart aches endlessly.

Thanks for listening.

Hi Samsmom,

You wasn’t being stupid, Sam was young and you had no reason to believe that it was anything but a minor problem.
I know Sam has nothing to forgive, when its our time to go there is nothing that can be done, which is probably why it happened at the weekend.
When Sadie died the light above her picture kept going out and we just kept replacing the bulbs, but when Jude went the same thing started happening to the light above her picture, so one day when the light went out I said ‘if that’s you put the light back on’ and instantly the light went on again, I jumped up cheering and clapping.
We can dismiss these signs or take comfort from them, I choose the second.

Take care,
Sue

sounds like sam might have suc%%b to a thrombus clot in his legs that moved
its way up to the lungs. tribble died the same way, despite our medical
intervention. so my best words to you are do not carry the burden of his
sudden passing entirely on your shoulders...sometimes things are meant to be.

What happened to Sam, and the decisions you made, remind me of my choices and my cat, Oscar. He dies three weeks ago. He became ill very suddenly and, rather than calling the emergency vet, I clung to hope he would be OK and take him to the normal vet the next day. He never made it. Like you, I tortured myself for days about not doing this and wishing I'd done that. Then I realised I was not remembering Oscar at all, just thinking about what should have been.
The time was right for him; it was his time. I feel the same goes for Sam. I'm sure wherever he is, he knows that too.

Saki started having diarrhea right about the time Frey died. And I didn't take her to the vet right away.... she died of liver cancer... And I know (I know know know) that it wouldn't've made any difference... apparently, in animals and in humans, liver cancer can hide itself until its too late... but I still feel guilty. Probably, if I'd taken her to the vet that first day the diarrhea showed up, it only would've prolonged the poking and prodding and tests and so forth... but it would not have lengthened her life. Indeed, it probably would've shortened her life bc of all the stress.

I really believe it is bc we love them so that we feel so guilty when they die. If we had a cat that lived to be 50 -- we'd still wonder what WE did wrong when they died instead of patting our backs for the miracle of a 50 year old cat...

So -- I know you feel guilty, but please don't think things would've turned out differently if you'd done something else. There's really nothing you could've done.

--Jennifer