My little Ellie was knocked down and killed by a car on Friday. She was 15 months old. A little Tabby cat.

I am at home because I have ME. She was my constant little companion. She was found at 4 weeks old in a hedge. I fed her with a syringe for the first 3 weeks. We were inseparable. She was so very loving.

I feel so lost and inconsolable without her that I just wanted to post to express my feelings a little bit.

I am so so sad.

jilly

Jilly
That's one thing we all share here, sadness. My boy was struck down by a car too, it is hard to get through that part since I have always been such a fantic about protecting him from anything. I am sorry about your little guy, you'll find alot of people here who understand how you are feeling,,and it does help you through it to write your feelings down, I know...it is sometimes easier to write them then to speak them sometimes. Keep coming here, you will find alot of support. Pamela

Pamela
Thank you so very much for replying. It meant so much to me. I am so very sorry about your loss too. It is so very sad.

Can anyone tell me what I can do to cope. This has been so devastating. I have lost pets in the past, and lost my cat to cancer last year.

But this little one that I lost on Friday has completely devastated me. I loved her so much. She was very young. Just a baby. 15 months old. She was so loving and I could see us growing old together and her always being here with me. The shock of her death was so sudden. She got out onto the front somehow and got hit by a car.

I miss everything about her. The only time I am okay is when I am in bed. If i try to move about the house then everything reminds me of her. I feel so incredibly lonely. I am housebound because of my illness and live alone and she was my little ray of sunshine and I don't know how I can survive without her.

Ellie I love you, why did you go.
My love to everyone else who has gone through and is going through this now ... does it get any better?

Bless you all and all our pets waiting at the Rainbow Bridge.

jilly

Jilly,
I live by myself also, it was always just Moose and I. He was part of every aspect of my life. Ater it happened 7 wks ago my first week was a blurr,since, I havent dealt with it good in some aspects..I am in depression for one thing, I dont sleep in my bdrm anymore, I sleep on my couch. I am moving from this rental cause I just dont want to be here anymore. With all that said, I also could not look at a photo of my boy until just last week, and now I can with out the deep deep feeling of grief... I have some days now where I feel better and some that I just cant do anything but stay in my robe all day. I just keep coming here and talking to people who are hurting too...I have a differnt opion of support groups now that I have been part of this one, I have made some wonderful friends that are helping me deal with this most horrible loss in my life. Hang in there Jilly, keep posting here, we all know how you are feeling...we are here to help each other keep going on...Pamela

Like you my baby died on Friday and I am also struggling. I have hardly slept so I am overtired and emotional. I am finding this site amazing as I keep reading post after post of people who describe every emotion I have been going through. Last night I sat here till 1.30am as I was too scared to go to bed and I cried for hours. Today I feel very washed out but I think letting this all out is helping me cope. One thing I have learnt is that doesn't matter how your baby died it still hurts and you still feel guilty. Mine died in my arms at 16 years so you would think that was a lovely way to die and yet I am tortured I could have done more and should have done something and did she suffer terribly and I was too selfish and scared to do something for her. I miss my girl terribly and just wish I could have just a tiny bit more time with her just to make sure she knew just how much I love her but I know I would never have been ready to give her up and that really is the point - there is no point, even when they are suffering, that we are really ready to let go. I am so sorry for your loss and I truly do understand how much you are hurting at this moment.

Anthea

I am sorry for your great loss, and that Ellie is gone. It is probably hitting you very hard because you are at home with a poorly-defined illness. I had chronic mononucleosis for three years, and my two cats were the only beings who didn't judge me. They wouldn't accuse me of malingering or of faking an illness, but curl up with me and purr. They got me out of bed on days when I didn't think that I could and I had to take care of them. They gave me a reason for putting one foot in front of each other every day, even though I would sometimes have to sit and rest in the middle of the stairs, energy gone. They would be waiting at the door for me when I got back from the doctor's office - at least someone was happy to see me, pale skin and all. They would curl up with me and let me cry - no judgement, no "it isn't that bad", no "quit feeling sorry for yourself". They loved me, and didn't care if my hair was dull and I couldn't get out of my pajamas some days. They didn't tell me that they knew a lot of teenagers who had mono, yet THEY managed to recover after a few weeks - what is taking YOU so long?! (I have recovered my health, but remember my illness very vividly - hard not to when it absorbs your entire life.)

Ellie was a constant for you at a time when your body isn't acting constant - where every day brings a confusing kaleidescope of symptoms, each more unpredictable than the one before. Ellie was waiting for you after each doctor's appointment, purring, happy to see you. Animals are wonderful when we are sick and vulnerable. It doesn't surprise me that her loss is hitting you so hard.

I am so sorry for your losses. The loss of a pet is tough enough, but when you are physically frail, it feels like you have lost a lot more. A prayer is winging its way towards you, dear.

Dee Dee

Jilly, I am so sorry your little Ellie was struck and killed by a car. It is just so hard when we lose our babies and our hearts are broken. We are still broken over the loss of Chili Bean but it is a little easier than when we first lost her. I do not know much about ME but maybe in the future more will be known about it. You are in my thoughts.
Ann

Hi Jilly,

It's very sad when we lose our pets. Your Ellie was obviously very special to you and I know it's difficult to continue life without her. Your pain is very raw at the moment and nothing will make sense to you for quite some time. But please know things do get better. You will reach a point where you are at peace with yourself and you'll begin remembering the special times you had with Ellie....not just that last sad day.

I'm very sorry to hear of your loss. You are among friends here so come here and talk anytime you feel the need. We all understand and share your pain.

__Jim

Thank you so much to all of you for writing such loving messages to me, you have no idea how much it has helped me when I read them tonight. Bless you all.

This is my first visit back here since I posted on Sunday. I didn't really expect any replies, it was my first visit to the site. My original post was really just a kind of outward expression of grief, I barely knew what I was writing or what I was saying.

Yesterday I spent all day "doing things" for Ellie. I seemed incapable of focusing on anything else at all. I made her a special little spot at the top of the garden. I put all my little stone garden animals in a circle around one particular spot. Little kittens, rabbits, squirrels, owls, butterflies, and an angel.
I made a little circle of them and pretended to myself that they were encircling her and protecting her and keeping her company, even though she's not there yet.

I have not buried her in the garden yet, she is having a cremation at the Pet Cemetery and her ashes will be returned inside a carved wooden sleeping cat. In the spring I will make a proper special place for her in the garden and maybe plant some bluebells too.

I have read all your messages and they all touched my heart so much. Thank you so much everyone and the comfort and advice you have given to me, it makes me feel not quite so alone.

I'll be thinking of you all and of all our beloved pets and whenever I get completely overwhelmed I will come here ..... it has made me feel so much calmer. I think I might even be able to sleep tonight. It is 1.20am.

Goodnight
jilly

Jilly

I am so sorry for the loss of your little sweetie. I know how hard it is, I never imagined grieving for a pet was so much the same as grief I have felt for "humans".

Sharon

Dear Jilly,

I'm so sorry about little Ellie. What a little cutie she was!

Whether you have a furbaby for 15 weeks, months, or years, the bond is so strong. I can totally relate to void you must be feeling for your little companion Ellie.

Take care,
Kathleen

Jilly,
I am so sorry for your loss. Ellie was a beautiful little girl.

I am so very sorry that your beautiful little kitty was taken from you.

I hope that everyone on here knows - this holiday season you will not be alone. We will all be here, thinking of each other.

In my mind, every time one of you is feeling lonely or sad, my arms will be around you, holding you until you feel better.

Jilly, I think you answered your own question how to deal with your grief. Your plans for a permanent resting place for her sound beautiful, and a touching start with your garden statue tribute. Just remember you saved Ellie's life as a kitten and in return she saved yours the short while she was here. Best wishes this holiday season, big hugs and sweet dreams, April

I think it's the common 'unconditional' love that we all share with our pets that leaves us so devastated when we lose them. It's a 'another' level of love, trust and companionship that we share that isn't the same as with another human. It's a feeling of utopia with any animal you bond with. It's a level of love that is definately 'out of this world'.

I'll be along time till i let another cat come into my life, but the next one will get the same care, love and trust as Seth did. It's only fair.

Goodbye lil Ellie. Keep watch over Jilly. Unlike you, we're only human.

Hamish x