it's hard to believe that i lost my 14 year old male maine coon grey
tabby 3 years ago. i've been struggling to come to terms with his death and the horribly unjust cir%%stances surrounding his passing ever since. i feel a bit sheepish about seeking support since i've got the passing of time on my side, something which most bereaved pet lovers here have not had yet. i can tell you that some of the pain does subside in time...i don't weep continually anymore. losing my dear kitty marvin was the most painful experience of my life. he and i were devoted to one another since he was a baby and i was an 18 year-old living on my own for the first time. we grew up together. more than any other living being, he was my steadfast companion. he died at age 14, still healthy and active. he was killed by my neighbor's 2 dogs when they broke loose from their yard. he endured a violent and brutal death and i blame myself for not restricting him to an indoor life, as did the owner of the dogs, a rather nasty person who had no sympathy for me or marvin. the weeks and months following marvin's death were agonizing and my friends and family could not or would not empathize. mom said my grief was inappropriate. so i have felt very isolated in this experience and have resisted attending pet-loss group couseling
(support groups are not my thing). but when i read postings here from other people enduring the same loss of unconditional, pure love , i felt it was time to conncect. thankyou for understanding.

Greetings Bek and welcome.

Such a shame to hear about your beloved kitty, Marvin. Hind sight is 20 20 so try not to beat yourself up (any more than you already have for the last 3 years) about Marvin being outdoors. It's difficult on kitties to go from what they are used to (outdoor type) to being locked inside. It's an unfortunate accident.

Some people have never felt the joy that a four legged furry friend can bring. Those people I pity for not openning their hearts to experience the unconditional love pets can bring. Other people who have lost pets and know how hard it can be to lose them, may have forgotten how painful the experience is due to time elapsing.

I hate to break it to you tho, you just joined group counseling. It's not a bad thing and it has helped me a great deal in the last 3 months since losing my dog Ava. I hope you can draw some good stuff from here. Everybody has gone through or is going through the emotional roller coaster that losing their buddies causes.

I always said we are the special ones who have the God given gift to love our furbabies so deeply.And the ones who say it is wrong to grieve for them just dont understand the deep emotional bond. For you to have grown up with Marvin makes it even harder to come to terms with. I think it is the trauma of how it happened that has that extra sting to it, my dog was hit by a car, it broke his back, I am haunted by that moment I ran around the corner and saw him laying on the road. I have guilt,sadness,..the whole works, so I just keep coming here, typing my feelings whether they make sence or not people have cried with me, for me, this is a place I found where people truely do understand what I am feeling. It is a common bond that brings us here to lean on each other emotionally, I have found it to help me through this more than anything. Moose's mom Pamela

I am so sorry because of this horrible thing that happened to you and your beloved Marvin. What a tragic loss you suffered at the hands of your merciless neighbor who had no regard of regrets to you or Marvin for what his dogs did. It is terrible we live in a world where so many people don't have compassion.

There is no reason to feel sheepish about coming and talking about your loss no matter how much time has passed. Some people just cannot know the pain of losing one we love so deary but we all understand here. I feel your pain and sadness and hope you will come back and tell us more about Marvin and the wonderful life you had together.
Ann

Hi Bek,

The way you lost Marvin is a true tragedy and I'm very sorry you are having to go through this. Please know all of us here fully understand and share your pain and we are here to listen whenever you feel the need to talk.

The relationship you had with Marvin was very special and it's wonderful to know you had fourteen years together. Even though the way he died was tragic, I know he left this world knowing how much he was loved and when everything is said and done, that's the most important thing. Please find comfort in knowing that.

You're in my thoughts,
__Jim

thankyou to all of you for your comforting words of support. it is a relief to connect with others who understand. My son and I read your replies and cried as we looked at the photos of others' beautiful lost loves. I am so grateful to have found this site. I miss Marvin something awful. Love you Mar Mar xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox.
Bek