[FONT=Arial]In April of 1993, my family and I were blessed with the chance to adopt two dogs - Basenjis, they were brother and sister and were nearly 3 years old. Their names were Andy and Penelope (Nellie for short). A few years after having them, Andy was hit by a car and lost a kidney. He was such a wonderful dog and a best friend up until April 28th of 2003, when he had to be euthanized due to chronic renal failure. At the same time, we had his sister (who still had both of her kidneys) tested. The results showed she was operating on 25% of her kidneys, that she had already lost 75%.

We did everything to keep her healthy and happy. In this past week, she is following the path her brother took 5 months ago. I sit here at 4 am unable to sleep because she has stopped eating and I know that I need to do the right thing by her and let her go. I was devastated (as was my whole family) when Andy died. I thought I'd never, ever feel better. But, in time, I've begun to feel better and then this happens. I feel so helpless. I love Nellie so very much. I know it's selfish to try and hold on to them, but I am going to be lost without her. Nellie and Andy helped me through my highschool years, all of my stress and decisions, then through my college years and now beyond. They were with me for most of the major changes in my life. Imagining life without them both is like I am losing my siblings.

I spent most of tonight saying goodbye. She looks so tired and so sad. I know that dogs (and other animals) do not look at death the same way people do. I know she will be with her brother (and her mother, father, other brother, and friends), but I will miss her so much.

There aren't any pet loss support groups in my area, which is why I came online. It was easier with Andy because I still had Nellie who needed me and who I could love and cling to. Most people I've spoken to treat pet loss as a trivial matter, which makes me feel stupid for grieving so much and trying to make them understand my grief. Just reading the stories of others helps a lot. Thank you for this forum, and thank you to all who read this.

I am so sorry to hear about your dogs. I know how hard it is to lose a pet. It has only just been over a week since my cat passed away. I clung to the hope that he would get better and he didn't and he died before I could take him to the vet. This was the most heartwrenching thing I had to see. It wasn't the way it was supposed to happen and I agonise about it now.
It is a hard decision but Nellie would be so grateful if you let her go peacefully to Rainbow Bridge where she will wait for you, with Andy.
Best wishes
Anna

Thank you so much for your sympathies. I am very sorry to hear about your cat's passing. I skimmed some of the other entries and saw his name is Oscar. My aunt had a cat whom I loved dearly named Oscar. Seems like a lot of special, wonderful cats get that cool name.

You're right, I know I'm doing the right thing.. it's just so hard. I'll keep your Oscar in my prayers!

Thanks. Yes, Oscar was a cool cat!
I hope all is well with you now.

First of all, NOTHING could be less trivial. I am sorry there are people around you who don't understand. But, other than a spouse, or an underage child, your animal companion is someone who is with you day in and day out. It is one of the MOST substantial, sustained, and daily relationships we have. Losing it is devastating.

And to lose two in such a short period of time --- what can I say??? I do know your grief. We put Freyja down after 14 years on May 28, then Saki fell ill. My husband called me June 19 and said "You need to call the vet to make The Appointment..." I said NO. I simply couldn't do it again, it hadn't even been a month since I made the previous appt. So he called and did it, but Saki died snuggling with me that afternoon...

I have NEVER felt so empty, lost, devastated, unable to cope, teary, weary etc. in my life. My daily routines (unbeknownst to me) were totally wrapped around my fur babies.... And suddenly, they were gone... I don't think I will ever be the same as I was before...

So in your post -- it sounds like you were making the plans ---??? That Nellie was still with you --??? I say a little prayer for the both of you: that this upcoming journey may be painless and smooth. You are right that they don't see it the way we do; they are probably wiser. I know Nellie will be ok, and it sounds like you do, too. So, you need to take care of YOURSELF-- cry, post, make a memory book, eat comfort foods, etc., to help yourself with this difficult time.

Love,
Jennifer

Thank you all for your support! My sweet Nellie died today at the vet's, we had to put her down. Our vet reassured us that this was the right thing, the best thing. I know it is too, I just miss her. I'm sure when she went to the rainbow bridge Andy tackled her and asked her what took her so long!

I'm so sorry you lost your furbabies! I saw the photo you have, is that beautiful furbaby one of them?

I understand completely about how this changes a daily routine - I had changed my sleeping habits (luckily, I work at home) so that I could make sure that Nellie was able to go outside whenever she needed to.

I am still very sad, but I feel a great sense of relief because I know that she isn't having to struggle with a lot of pain and illness and that she can be with her brother and her other littermates and parents.

Thanks again, this forum has made a great difference in how I am handling it. I do not feel alone!

Let me offer my condolences to you on losing Nellie. I had to make the same decision about my pup Snoops on Sept 6 of this year. Like your Nellie, my Snoops was mine for a little over 16 years and had shared with me all hardships of my life. He saw me through high school, college, the deaths of three Grandparents, my mother's illness, and my father's cancer. I couldn't imagine life without him much the same way you felt about your little Andy and Nellie.

I have been lucky though in that I am surrounded by people who understand how devastating losing your pet can be. You are not alone ... there are people who understand. It is a difficult thing. Pets are a part of the family so losing one is losing a member of the family.

Your two babies sound like such wonderful little ones and I can tell by your post that they were very lucky to have you just as you were lucky to have them. I will keep you and your little ones in my prayers ...

Once again ... I am deeply sorry for your loss ...

Beth