Dear Kasha,

I wanted make sure you know how much you are missed around here. Our lives are just not the same now that you are gone.

I remember the day I brought you home. I remember how you crept out of the carrier and ever so slowly inspected every inch of the apartment that we first lived in. You did that every time we moved....I called it the kitty cat creep. You taught that one to LeStat (I wonder if he'll still do it now that you are gone...) I would open the carrier and you would poke your little black nose out and sniff the air. Slowly, so slowly, one paw....two paws and then belly to the floor you would creep around room by room with scardey-cat LeStat in tow. He wouldn't let you out of his sight until you had decreed the new place fit to live. I remember how you would claim your relaxing spots in the house immediately and would only grudgingly share them if LeStat asked nicely. The water heater was always your favorite...remember the drafty house we lived in five years ago? The water heater was next to the kitchen on the main floor and you must have sat up there for a year straight...only coming down for food! It was so warm, you could see out the kitchen window, and it gave you a 'royal' vantage point to survey the house from. I remember how you claimed the stairs in the townhouse. It was a lovely, warm place to sleep (right next to the heating vent). I always said that it was your idea of a practical joke, sleeping there at night because you were jet black and those stairs were dark. Remember the night that you sent daddy down the stairs MUCH faster than he had planned? I told him to watch out for you as he left the room and he said "yeah yeah I know". 20 Seconds later all I heard was "Dammit Kash...thump thump thump thump thump thump!!!" I was laughing before I was even awake. (You know daddy...) Thankfully he went down fast but not hard and even though I thought it was funny, you ran down the stairs after him to make sure he was alright before you laughed too.

I remember when my marriage fell apart and I had to leave you behind for a week. I was so sad without you and thought of you and LeStat every day. I remember sneaking back into the house when he was at work to rescue you. I didn't take anything but you guys...you were all I needed. We went over to our new place....it was small but it was all ours. I had never seen you so happy as you were that day. I remember how you lay on the floor with me because I had no furnature and licked the tears off of my cheeks all night. You and your brother were always there to keep me warm until I finally got a bed to sleep in...they you just took it over. (and I gave it willingly)

I remember how you fell in love with daddy the same day I did. I know you thought that I'd never get married again...I didn't either but when he came along we both knew. You climbed right into his lap purring away and claimed him as yours. (Sorry you had to share him but I did meet him first:)

I remember how you knew that I was pregnant with Colton before I did. You were so attentive and loving...checking me every few minutes, staying by my side all day long. I wondered if you were sick, in fact, I became quite concerned for you. The day I found out I was pregnant I told you first, even before daddy, but you just looked at me like you were saying "Oh...you didn't know?" From that day on, even though you were quite independant and self sufficient, you became my little black shadow. You were at my feet when I was standing, by my side when I was sleeping, on my lap (while I had one:) when I was sitting. I remember how you would put your paw on my belly and hold it there until you felt the baby move and then would sigh and curl up beside me. Thank you for taking such good care of us. I think my favourie nights were the ones when you and your brother would 'surround' me keeping me warm and safe. You always took the bottom, curled up against my legs and your brother would lie next to my pillow unless you got there first. I have never felt so loved.

I hope you understand why we did what we did and why you are not here with me anymore. You were very sick Kash, and if I hadn't taken you to the vet that night you would have suffered until the end.....much more than you were already. I wanted to keep you with us until you went but I couldn't stand the thought of you being in pain. Daddy cried when I told him how bad you were and asked if we could keep you for just a few more days but I couldn't do it baby....you were bleeding so much....your kidneys weren't working anymore. I'll never forget the last time I put you into that carrier knowing that you would never creep out of it again. You were calm...I wasn't. I know you heard LeStat howling from the kitchen....he knew what we were doing. We tried so hard not to cry on the way to the vet's office...I didn't want you to worry about us, but we cried when you closed your eyes for the last time, oh how we cried. You looked right at daddy with those big green eyes before you went to sleep, he knows that you were saying goodbye.

I want you to know, my love, that you were one of the best things that ever happened to me. I thank god every day for the 15 years we spent together... I couldn't have asked for a better friend. You are so very missed around here. Every night I give you a kiss right between your ears in my dreams.

I love you, I'm sorry, and I miss you more than words can say. You were the best cat ever....thank you for sharing your life with me.

Love always,
Mommy

Oh Kristie I am in tears at how wonderful your baby was and all the joy you had and shared for 15 years. Your whole post was so heart warming and showed so much love, and Kasha doing the kitty cat creep was so funny I can see it in my mind. I am so sorry you lost the love of your life my heart is with you.
Ann

Hi Kristie,

That was a beautiful tribute. I'm so glad Kasha got to spend fifteen great years with a family who loved her very much. It hurts so much when we lose them but I don't believe any of us would trade the time we had with our pets for anything in this world....they bring so much love, understanding, and acceptance into our lives. Thanks for sharing some of the special times you had with Kasha---it's great to know what a special relationship the two of you had.

__Jim

Dear Kristie,

Your tribute to Kasha is beautiful. It brought tears to my eyes.

How lucky Kasha was to have had you for a mom and how lucky you were to have had Kasha for 15 years.

Thanks for sharing those wonderful memories.
Kathleen

Well old girl we've made it through one year apart. I can't BELIEVE that it's been one year since I last looked into your deep green eyes, smelled your soft fur....I can still remember your perfect little face like I saw you this morning.

I had a dream about you last night and woke thinking of you. I thought of you all day long.....are you thinking of me today? We all miss you so much Kasha, life is just not the same with you gone.

LeStat is doing better now that he's had some time to deal with your passing. It took him a good long while to gather his courage enough to feel safe without you by his side, but he's done it...such a good boy. Every now and then Riley will walk up behind him, and just for a second he'll think that it's you (it happens to me all the time) and he'll purr hello to her, like he used to do to you. Once he remembers that you are gone and it's just his "bratty little sister" he flicks her away with the end of his tail and goes on about his business but I can see the hurt in his eyes...he misses you so much.

Tonight, I would give anything to have you here. All I want in the world is to feel your warmth across my body while I sleep. Maybe you will come to me in a dream again tonight....this time I won't wake up....I'll sleep in and enjoy every second of time I get to spend with you, even if it's only in my dreams.

You are still very much loved my little one, and VERY much missed. Daddy, Colton, LeStat, and Riley send their love and I send my heart. I hope it's wonderful where you are........

With endless love,
Mommy
xo

Kristie,
I am in tears reading your story from last November and a year later, you are remembering your dear Kasha. I have recently come to this web site looking for help for my little boy Dakota; who has been diagnosed with a terminal virus. I was completely overwhelmed at the outpouring of emotions for the many beloved furry family friends and those that were not so furry. I have been humbled at the sheer devotion of so many to these wonderful companions.

My little Dakota has days to maybe weeks to live; he and I will decide when it is time for him to go. But, he is only a kitten and wasn't given a chance to live completely which breaks my heart. FIP is an ugly virus that predominantly takes the young as well as the old. I wish I had more time with him as he does with me. So, everyday is a blessing to me as long as he is able to stay.

Thank you for sharing your story. It was so heart warming.

Maureen

Thanks for reading about my Kasha Maureen, her one year anniversary was harder to get throught then I had thought it would be. I still miss my girl every day but the memories that flood my mind are, more often than not, happy ones and I wasn't prepared for the raw emotions that came back to me on her anniversary. Being able to share how wonderful she was with others makes me feel like I'm honouring her memory the way it should be honoured.

I read Dakota's story after your reply (I don't come here as often as I used to and missed it when you first posted). I'm so very sorry to hear of the struggle he is going through.....especially in one so young. My girl had 15 great years so her death, although keenly felt by her family, was not a surprise, something which I will be forever grateful for. I can only imagine the torment you must feel over your little one's sickness having only spent such a short time together....it's just not fair. Since the FIP test came back negative, I hope that the specialist you are taking him to discovers something simple and easily treated....

My heart goes out to you and your little Dakota tonight. I hope this message finds you both peaceful and well,

Kristie