i KNOW I AM IN THE PROCESS OF IT....COPING, BUT I AM STILL SLEEPING ON MY COUCH, I HAVE TORN DOWN MY BDRM I WILL NOT SLEEP IN THERE. I HAVE MOOSE IN MY MOM'S CEDAR CHEST WTH HIS PICTURES IN MY BDRM, I THINK I'M AFRAID IF I SLEEP IN THERE, I WILL WAKE UP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT AND ONCE AGAIN KNOW MOOSE ISNT THERE, I GUESS THAT PROBABLY DOES"NT MAKE ANY SENCE BUT IT IS HOW I AM COPING WITH IT AND HAVING TO STAY HERE UNTIL I CAN MOVE. I DONT WANT TO LIVE BY THE STREET IT HAPPENED. I KNOW I WOULD'NT HAVE WISHED THIS TO HAPPEN BUT THE FACT IS I GOT DISTRACTED AND MOOSE GOT AWAY,,,HE WAS FEELING SO GOOD, JUST HAD HIS TOENAILS CLIPPED, HIS COAT WAS LOOKING SO GOOD, HE HAD A GREY MUG GOING ON BUT HAD THE PLAYFUL PLEASING SPIRT OF A 1YR OLD PUP, HE WAS FOREVER YOUNG.
THE ASHES....I ASKED A FRIEND IF HE WOULD TAKE SOME AND HAVE A LOCKET MADE FOR ME, I STILL DONT KNOW WHAT I WANT TO DO WITH THE ASHES, IT IS SOMETHING I CANT IMAGINE YET, SO I WILL KEEP HIM CLOSE, I THINK THAT'S THE FINIAL GOODBYE I CANT SEEM TO DO, SO I GUESS WHEN IT IS TIME I WILL KNOW. IT TOOK 5YRS FOR ME BEFORE I COULD LOOK AT MOM AND DAD'S PICTURES, IT WAS LIKE I CROSSED FROM MY MEMORIES BEING PAINFUL TO MY MEMORIES BEING COMFORTING. SOME DAY I WILL FEEL THAT WAY ABOUT MOOSE....BUT FOR ME NOW MY MEMORIES ARE STILL SO VERY PAINFUL. BUT AT THE SAME TIME THEY ARE ALL I HAVE. PAMELA

I can sympathize with how you are coping with mooses death. I still cant look at a photo of my dog otino who died a few months ago. its apainful process for all of us,i think even more for those who lost their pet in tragic cir%%staces,like moose and otino. our life must go on even though the painful memories may haunt us. I can only pray that you will get better as the days go by (have you considered adopting another dog from your local animal shelter?) true it won't be moose but you will be giving another dog a chance to live a happy life, most of all it would help you pour out youre grief and love onto your new friend. Thats what i do with kikka and it has certainly helped me to stop focusing on my pain.
I wish you the best, Pierre

Pamela, I am so sorry about Moose. I have problems sleeping in my room as well, cause Baby slept in the bed with me. Many nights I would wake up to the scratching of hers nails on my back as she would stretch her legs. I think that is the worst part of the day for me, going to bed. It's just plain miserable.
I have her ashes in my room. I was thinking of having a Locket made, as well. My husband just looked at me strange when I told him this, so I didn't mention it again. Don't get me wrong, he loved her too, he actually cried more than I did at the Vet's, but I think I was just in shock about the whole thing. I do my crying when I'm alone. I don't want anyone to set me off by saying the wrong thing to me if I cry in front of them, so I just don't discuss it with them. Anytime Baby's name is mentioned, I just change the subject. I can't talk about her yet without my eyes filling up with tears. I'm usually the type of person who tells you what I think at the time, but if I did that this week I would've cursed out too many people.
Everyone copes differently. I can't go to sleep until I've looked at her pictures and had a good cry. I actually feel a little better because while thumbing through the pictures, I always find one that makes me smile a little bit. Then I cry again. I hope this pain starts to ease up soon, it's just awful right now. I truly am sorry.
Linda

Dear Pamela,
I guess we are all different when my mom died I looked at her pictures all the time and I left the big 8x10's up on the walls too. I find myself looking at Chili Beans pictures all the time too.

I never took the pictures off the wall of her either. I have pictures all over the walls of Snookie and also my fur grand babies, as well also our 4 children and our 6 grand children. My 7 year old grandbaby said all she wanted for Christmas was Chili Beans collar. That just broke my heart that she is so sad. The kids so loved her and we are still crying over her.

I'm sure it would be horrible to sleep in a bed where our babies had once been. I am able to do it with Chili Bean gone because she only stayed for 2 weeks at a time but If I had to sleep in it without Snookie I don't think I could make it through either. Our little girl wants to get right between my husband and I, she lays her back against me and her feet on him. I hope you feel a little better tonight.
Love, Ann

Pam, the locket idea is great - when you are ready you will do it. And to Linda - when you mentioned the thing about toe-nails scratching your back, it brought back a memory for me about my recently departed niece, Moody Blue. A large black lab with cancer of her hind legs, she often did that to me when I v isited her home - she insisted on sleeping ON me during these visits (she was quite big) . Unbeknownst to her parents, she had cancer, and after a year of chemo, she was put down. Watching such a majestic graceful animal reduced to dragging her hind quarters was soemthing her mom and dad could NOT do, but they tried to save her so badly. But I remember her inpromptu back scratches now, something I had forgotten about. I really haven't spoken about Angel verbally - I am finding my comfort best on LS and from all the great people there.

Pamela, we have Misty's ashes in an urn like this:


There are puppy urns similar to it.

There is also a lot of lockets and pendants that will hold ashes. I'm going to get one for a lock of her fur.