Hi, my name is Char and I recently lost my baby Tigger. (cat) He was left on our deck Sept 19th, and he jumped the gate that hid the stairs. He was a big boy, 22lbs, I raised him since he was a baby. He was abandoned by his birth mother and left under a canoe where he was found. My husband thought I was crazy for bringing him home, said he was gonna die that night...I fed him warm formula with a eye dropper for days until it advanced to a small bottle. He loved his bottle. We had such a special bond, It was like he thought I was his Mama. He always did that head tilt when he looked at me, he always slept by my head, If I turned over, Tigger turned over. If I needed a glass of water so did Tigger, ice and all. I tried everything I could think to find him...flyers door to door, ads in every paper around, posters up within a 10 mile radius, walks calling his name. We offered a $500.00 reward, It was like he had vanished off the face of the earth. Someone had even told me to put my urine in a clean spray bottle diluted and spray that as I walk, something about my phermones would be in the urine. I don't know, I was desperate to try anything.
We would get a few calls, people saying they spotted him or that they had him...none turned out to be Tigger. Then on Halloween morning, a man walking his dog by a pond not more than 4 or 5 blks(as the crow flys) from home said there was a dead orange cat next to the pond. My husband went to investigate and brought Tigger home. The strange thing is that the man walking his dog and a man that lived in the condominiums next to the pond said they had NEVER seen that cat around before!?!?!? Where had Tigger been, why didn't he come home? I hurt so much inside, I see his picture and I start bawling. Tigger was seven years old, I thought I'd have a few more years with him. I never thought this would be the outcome, Tigger was supposed to come home safe to me...That's what I prayed for constantly. I prayed to GOD, I prayed to St.Joseph, I prayed to St.Francis, Tigger was to come home safe to me. How do I find peace with this, how do I make sense of this, and how to I begin to cope? I feel so much sadness, so much grief and so much guilt. I think of his time away and I wonder if he thinks I abandoned him, if he was scared, what happened to him. I wasn't there to protect him and I should have been, he should never have gotten off the deck. I miss and love him so very much!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hi Charr,
I am so sorry for your hearbreak and loss of you Tigger. I just lost my Chili Bean a week ago. My family and I are still having a hard time with it. Some of the others will be on later and they have lived a lot longer with their loss. Until they post I just wanted to say I'm sorry and I care.

My tears are flowing even as I write. I can picture you feeding that sweet tiny baby and him growing up to be such a big boy. It is not your fault, sometimes horrible things happen and we all blame ourselves in different ways. We are human and when we lose the power to help them or to do anything for them we just feel so helpless. Please tell is more about your precious baby.
Ann

Oh, Charr - (((hug))), I am so sorry you've lost your baby.

PLEASE don't torture yourself with the "what if" and "only" thoughts. They will drive you absolutely insane. You've got enough to deal with with the grief, without adding the guilt. You saved Tigger's life when he was a baby. He loves you STILL!

I know you're angry with God - believe me, I know. After I lost my Phoenix, I was ranting and raving at Him - things like "I NEVER PRAY FOR MATERIAL THINGS, I NEVER PRAY FOR MORE MONEY, OR TO WIN THE LOTTERY, I PRAYED FOR YOU TO HEAL MY BABY AND YOU DIDN'T!!!"

I can only tell you honey that it's going to take time for you to have some peace of mind. I wish there was some way we could cir%%vent this but there isn't.

I honestly do believe that Tigger is with God now. He's not gone - you just can't see him right now. But, YOU WILL be reunited with him sometime. There's not a single doubt in my mind about that. (For me, the waiting is the hard part).

Lean on us here. Unfortunately, we know all too well exactly what you're going through.

Love,
Jan

I AM SO SORRY TO HEAR HOW THIS HAPPENED, I LOST MY BLK LAB IN KIND OF THE SAME WAY, HE GOT AWAY ..BUT.......I DID'NT HAVE TO WONDER WHERE HE WAS AND LOOK FOR HIM WHICH I AM SURE WAS SO HARD, I HOPE THAT YOU CAN FIND SOME COMFORT IN KNOWING THAT YOU HAVE HIM HOME AND WHAT EVER HAPPENED IS NOW OVER, BETTER THAN TO HAVE NEVER BEEN ABLE TO FIND HIM. KEEP COMING HERE THIS HAS BEEN A LIFE LINE FOR ME AND ANN IS RIGHT..THERE ARE SO MANY PEOPLE THAT KNOW EXACTLY HOW YOU FEEL. THEY CANT TAKE THE PAIN AWAY BUT THEY CAN HELP MAKE IT BARABLE. PAMELA..........MOOSE'S MOM

Dear Char,

I'm so so sorry about what happened. I feel the same as the others do: It wasn't your fault (your intentions for your sweet boy were perfect), Tigger is blessed to have been nursed by you as a kitten and then raised to become a big healthy boy, and he understands that it was just maybe his "time" but he loves you still---very much.

I know this must be indescribably heartbreaking. Words probably can't express...

We will help you through this.

My Little Girl passed on last March. She was the love of my life, and I know we'll always be connected. I believe, without any doubts, that she is experiencing only bliss now, and that we'll be fully reunited when it is my time to pass from this body. For some reason for the past 2 nights I've been having odd dreams---one was that she was kidnapped, and another was that she was lost. I woke up from both feeling relieved that neither was the case. In my mind, NOT knowing would be the worst. So, I am just glad you don't have to wonder about your Tigger---whether he's going through any type of distress. But I know you miss him something awful!!!!!

Keep coming here and sharing. You are in my prayers!

Love,

Kathy

So sorry to hear about your precious baby Tigger. We all understand the heartbreak you are going through. You had a really special relationship with Tigger, and he knows you loved him. Please don't blame yourself. I know that's way easier said than done, but I pray with time you will be able to come to remember only the love you two shared. It really does help to keep coming here and posting your feelings, whatever they are. Everyone here really, really cares and understands.
Love,
Marcia