Her name was Myrtle. She was 14 years old and a major part of our lives. 3 weeks ago she was healthy and running around and then she suddenly started losing weight and became weaker. She was diagnosed with renal failure, a 3 cm mass in her abdomen, and on the day she died anemia. My family and I were fighting for her with all our might. We had gotten her kidney values down after 3 days of fluid treatments and antibiotics and appetite stimulants in a hospital. We were given sub Q fluids to give to her at home. She seemed to be feeling better, but then on the day she died she started walking even worse then before going sideways and bumping into the walls and bed. So we took her to see another vet who told us that we should take her in for another 24 hours of fluid treatment and antibiotics to bring her values down more and set up for a ultrasound for the next day, but that wasn't meant to be. Her becoming anemic is what killed her. We had taken her into the vet the day she passed away for the other 24 hours of fluid and antibiotics. We had so much hope for her making it through this. We gave her loves and kisses and told her we would be back for her. We were on our way home when we got the call. They had been getting her ready for the I.V fluids when all of a sudden she started gasping and then went into cardiac arrest. They rushed her back to the operation room and put an oxygen mask on her and tried to resuscitate her, but they couldn't and she left this world with a bunch of technicians and vets petting her and loving on her. My family and I did not get to say good bye. It hurts so much. I miss her so much. I feel so guilty for not being there and for not being able to save her, for not noticing her pain sooner.

Myrtle's Family,

I am so sorry to hear of the physical loss of your precious Myrtle! There is nothing like this kind of grief !! You tried everything humanly possible--including the sub Q fluids?! I saw a friend give those at-home to her kitty once, and that was NOT easy. I think that what you were able to achieve in itself is miraculous. I'm just sorry that her physical life could not be prolonged further.

Cats are experts at hiding their discomfort. Please don't blame yourself for anything. Guilt is always a part of grief even if it is unfounded. (I have many stories of my own guilt.) You are among the most compassionate, wonderful pet parents. 

Know that Myrtle, in the realm she's in, is in total bliss now--she's with you and anywhere else at the same time. Any difficult feelings of the last moments at the vet are forgotten. Bliss has overtaken. And, when it is your time to pass, you'll be fully reunited.

I'm glad you wrote, and please keep in touch. If and when you feel up to it, maybe share a picture of sweet Myrtle?

We can talk about other things that may be helpful to you.

Sending you prayers of peace and healing,

Kathy

Hi, Myrtle's Family, please permit me to add my sincerest sympathies in the physical loss of your beloved Myrtle. Losing a companion is never easy regardless of the circumstances or how long we are blessed with the privilege of their company.

Myrtle's Family, this grief journey is one of the most painful experiences you will know on this side of eternity. It is a journey that is filled with many different emotions that can overwhelm us all at one time which is why it is frequently referred to as a horror roller coaster ride. One of the many emotions we all experience is guilt / remorse for this comes from looking back and trying to reconcile all the whys, what ifs, and if onlys that haunt and torture our hearts when we are so emotionally vulnerable. From what you share with us there is no doubt that you did everything in your human and humane power to give your beloved Myrtle a happy and healthy earthly journey. I hope in time you will be able to find a peace in your heart that your beloved Myrtle knows that you love her. And the good news in the midst of all this pain is that the love bond you and your beloved Myrtle share is eternal - - it is not restricted by the physical laws of time and space. Your beloved Myrtle's sweet Living Spirit is always and forever a part of your heart and memories - - she is always and forever a heartbeat close to you.

I know so very well from first hand experience that when our hearts are entrenched in deep sorrow there are no adequate words in any language that can soothe the searing pain of sorrow. Still I hope the words I share with you will offer you some measure of comfort, support, encouragement, and hope as you travel your grief adjustment journey.

Thank you so much for honoring us in sharing your beloved Myrtle with us. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Myrtle's Family, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

It's still hard to talk about her without crying, but my heart tells me it is okay to share a few things. She was our black and white furry baby with gorgeous green eyes. She had a beautiful meow and an extremely loud purr as well as pretty little pink paws and a pink nose. We have had her since she was a kitten. Everyday with her was amazing. Even though it still hurts to think about all the good times there are these moments when some strong memories pop up and I can actually smile through all the pain and tears. One of them is when she was younger. She would get into all kinds of trouble and we would have to spray her with a spray bottle. She would bunny hop down the hall trying to dodge the water and we would laugh so hard that we could never stay mad at her for too long. There are a lot more stories, but I have reached my limit for now. Your posts have helped me and my family out tremendously. I am happy that I joined this support group. Thank you guys so much for being with us through all of this and being able to understand how precious and strong Myrtle was.

The other furry babies are still looking for Myrtle, it breaks my heart to see them waiting and expecting to see her. We have a big black puppy named Chewy. Whenever we would play with him Myrtle would always come into the living room and lay on the floor by us and he would go over and poke her with his nose. Now whenever we play with him he at times stops playing and looks around expecting Myrtle to be there. Her daughter Lupe is hiding all the time because her mama is no longer there to cuddle with. Whenever they cuddled they would have their legs overlapping each other and made a beautiful heart shape, a big black and white furry heart. Now that heart is no longer whole. It has been broken, it makes me so mad. I so badly want to know why we were meant to lose her like this, but I know I won't ever get an answer.

Hi Myrtle's Family

I am glad you shared with us some of the wonderful things Myrtle did ! I smiled reading the bunnyhop incident. And I'm glad you are catching yourself smiling at times! Myrtle wants that. How are your other babies doing? Are they adjusting somewhat?

I hope you continue to write and let us know how you are doing. It sure is a rough journey, and we're here for you.

Prayers of healing your way,
Kathy
P.S. Myrtle sounds absolutely beautiful. If you feel up to sharing a picture sometime, I'd love to see one!

Click to view attachment
Myrtle is the kitty on the bottom left. She doesn't look very happy about having to share the bottom tier of the tree with her little brother Charlie. I miss her so much. It has been 32 days since she passed away. I know the pain will subside to a point where I will be able to endure it at one point, but right now it is overwhelming and what's even worse is that my 21st birthday is in three days I did not want to spend it without her, but now I have no choice. It hurts so much. We still have not gotten her ashes and paw print back. I want her home. Smoky and the others are adjusting to her being gone. They are eating and becoming more active.

Hi, Myrtle's Family, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. Indeed the special events in our lives - - birthdays, holidays, etc., can be very painful particularly during the deep grief journey as they are constant reminders that our beloved companion is not physically with us. We live in a physically-oriented world. Scientific studies prove that when our companions rub against us / lick or kiss us they are chemically imprinting themselves onto us so that they can identify us out of all the other millions of other people on this planet. When they precede us to the angels we literally experience a chemical withdrawal from this imprint, and this is one of the many reasons why this grief adjustment journey is so painful - - both physically and emotionally. So please know that what you are experiencing is very real and sadly, very normal.

And thank you so very much for sharing this wonderful picture of your beloved Myrtle with us. She is so beautiful, and you are so blessed to be her sole, and soul, heir to her eternal love. I'm also glad to share your news that your remaining precious companions are now adjusting to the physical absence of their housemate Myrtle, and are eating normally again.

I hope today, and every day, is treating you kindly, Myrtle's Family, and that you will have peaceful evenings blessed with your beloved Myrtle's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam