the first 4 wks after Moose died my heart felt like it was ripped from my chest, as the time is moving on the hardest thing I have been going through is going places and doing things that I have always done with Moose with me. Things like looking in my rearview mirror and not seeing his bueatiful face right up next to mine watching the road. Coming out of the store and not seeing him in the car waiting and watching for me. Having a conversation with someone and have him come to my side and sit like he was part of the convrsation. No one could talk to loud at me because it upset Moose, he was so protective of me......i miss that. At the sound of my keys jingling he was right there happy cause we we're gonna go to the country so he could run and play, taking the exit to my friends house and hearing him get excited because he knew we we're almost there, leaving my friends house with him.......ahhhh so much loss, I hve always said I have never had an animal love me like Moose did. I have made up my mind to move from this rental, I still do not sleep in my bedroom I took the room apart and only go in there when I absolutely have too, that is where he waited for me while I worked,,,,I would come home, if he did'nt hear me I would call for him .......he would come out with that sleepy look. Oh how I miss you my baby I will keep you close to my heart the rest of my life, thank you for all that you have given me. you were the most precious to me. Pamela

Pamela,

It's hard for me, too. My husband is gone for the rest of the week on business, so the house is VERY VERY quiet. I hate this because it makes me miss Ace even more.

I didn't even go to work today. When the alarm went off I just felt so yuck. And I went through this soaring anger inside me yesterday at work, so I was afraid of causing an emotional scene in front of everyone. I've gone through anger, then guilt, then sadness, and then gratefulness for even having had Ace in my life - and then back to anger. When is this emptiness going to leave for good? I try so hard to hang on the the thankfulness when it comes to me. I guess it's going to take a long time to get used to our dear friends not being here with us.

I need to pack up all of Ace's things - his food and water bowls, his toys, his lead, his great big cedar bed. And then there's all the food and treats in the pantry..........and his medications. But I know that I'll just start crying again. It's like I want everything out of sight so I'm not constantly reminded that he's gone. But I don't want to let go. And what will I do with his things once I pack them up? I kept most of B.B.'s belongings after she passed because we still had Ace. He loved her toys more than his own after she was gone.

Now I feel that I'm just blabbering. I guess it's all just a matter of trusting God and believing that this, too, shall pass. We grow spiritually stronger when we suffer through the sad things in life. A very wise woman once told me that we suffer so that we may be able to more sincerely comfort others when they suffer - it's not really about us, but the other beings - both human and animal - that we will have the privelege of knowing in this life.

In His service - LaNett <><

Pamela,

I know it is hard, but trust in your heart that he is still there with you. You cant see him, but he is still there waiting for you, and he does still take those rides with you. He is always there.
A wise woman once told me that when you give all your love and devotion to someone,and that someone passes on, physically you may not be able to see him, but spiritually they are always by your side.
I know thats the case with my baby. i cant see my precious taz, but i know hes here with me i can feel it. And its my faith, and my strength that taz has given me by passing away, that i now realize this. everyday it grows stronger.
i miss him alot, he was like a family member to me. he was part of my family. But i have to realize that he lived his life happy and trying to make me happy. I know he would only want me to continue being happy, and i know thats the same with you.
All my prayers are with you.

Dear Pamela,
I am sorry that it is so very hard for you and I'm not sure we will ever get over missing them. I know it feels bad to me without Chili Bean in the car with me too. She loved her car rides like Snookie and my fur grand babies do. I can only imagine how hard it is for you to go without Moose. My little Snookie goes every where with me and I know my heart will break when I have to get into that explorer and go without her. I think your baby is there in the car with you even though you can't see him.
Love, Ann

Hi Pamela,

My heart just breaks for your loss. My sweet black lab was older and although I didn't know she had cancer at the time, I knew she had a past history of it. Even though it seemed so sudden to me, it was nothing like what you had to experience with your precious Moose. I at least knew my Rachael was older and anything could happen with health. I am so sorry, but he knew how much you loved him, I am sure of that! Owning labradors myself, I know that they are very active! You can't blame yourself for that.

I owned a yellow lab many years ago, named Cozmo. I live in the country and at that time I used to leave him outside alot when I would have to go out. He was always a "good boy" and stayed in the yard and usually only strayed to the neighbors. He seemed so much happier being outside and running than locked inside. One night I ran out to dinner with a friend. When I got home, my poor little Cozmo was on the side of the road at the end of my driveway with my neighbors around him. He had been struck by a speeding car that never even stopped to check on him! My heart was in pieces, and poor Cozmo didn't even make it to the vet before he passed that night. He was only 1 year old. To this day there is still some deep rooted guilt, like it was my fault. I just knew in my heart that he was probably down near the road watching for me to come home. However, I can honestly tell you that since that day, my furdogs are ALWAYS kept inside when I am not home!!! Also, I have continued to give my heart and love to this adorable breed of dog, no matter how active and hyper they are! I hope you find the strength one day to give all that love to another furbaby.

If I may also add to the post, I think the wisest thing I was ever told was that God only lets us experience what we can handle. I honestly believe that, and in my heart I think I must have been at a point in my life when I could "handle" this pain. I also believe that when one door closes, another one opens. I see this in many postings here! So many people have come in here in such extreme pain, yet later they are suddenly adopted by a beautiful stray furbaby.

We still have a 3 year old black lab, Danny. He seems so lonely without Rachael. It just breaks my heart to send him outside to play and he is all alone. We have been searching for a new furbaby for him to play with. I know when it is "right", we will find the perfect one.

Oh, and I TOTALLY understand the car ride part!!!! Alas, our little Danny does NOT enjoy car rides! He gets SO excited when you tell him he's going for a ride, but once we get started, he paces in the back seat and whimpers and cries. However, our Rachael, like most dogs, LOVED car rides. She was SUCH a good girl in the car!!! She always wanted to lay down across the front and lay her paw and head on my leg. I miss that SO much when I go out in the car now! When she was a puppy, I remember taking her for a ride to the store with me. When I got out of the car, the person next to me happened to being opening their door to get in. Rachael immediately leaped out of my car, and right over into the other person's car! She jumped in there and sat there looking on their front seat. I was so embarrassed!!!! She just LOVED and trusted all people her whole life!!!

I know it must be hard for you to pass that place everyday. Like you, I am reminded of my Rachael's death every time I get into my car. My sweet Rachael laid in my back seat with me holding her when the vet ended her suffering.

Take care and God bless you all!
Cheri