Yesterday, I came home from work to find my best "old man" cat Sweet Spot dead in his sleep in his favorite spot by the window. He was 16, and getting arthritic, but otherwise seemed perky and had no health problems.
He was a good friend, and even though I know he lived a long life for a cat, I am still deeply sad and heartbroken.
He slept on my pillow at night. I will miss so much waking up to his fish breath.

Love you Spotty. I hate this so much. It just hurts.

Hi, BabyHenry, please permit me to offer you my sincerest sympathies in the physical loss of your beloved Sweet Spot. As you know so well from first hand experience it doesn't matter if it's our first grief experience or our thousandth - - each grief journey is uniquely painful because each relationship we have with each of our companions is uniquely individual. The consolation is that your beloved Sweet Spot transitioned from this earthly realm quietly in the place he loves the most - - surrounded by the sights, sounds, smells, and love of his Forever Home. Even so this does not diminish the shock and sorrow that is in your heart with his unexpected passing. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers as you travel your grief adjustment journey, and please know we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us. And please know that your beloved Sweet Spot's sweet Living Spirit is always and forever with you - - he is always and forever a heartbeat close to you.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

I'm so sorry for the loss of your "old man" kitty Sweet Spot. No matter how long the lives of our furry friends, they are too short. I wish you peace and comfort in your loving memories of your furbaby.

BabyHenry, I'm so sorry about the physical loss of your precious Sweet Spot !

Spotty lived a lucky life with lots of love, thanks to you. But the grief of losing your baby is heart-breaking!

He's still with you but I know you miss his familiar physical form so much!

Please check in again and let us know how you are doing!

Prayers of comfort,

Kathy

Spots is my third pet in my lifetime. My then boyfriend, now husband rescued Henry, Pumpkin and Sweet Spot (all orange cats) around the same time about 12 years ago. They all lived with me, then us, after we got married. Henry died in 2014. Sweet Pumpkin died in February 2016 and Spot last Monday. The thing that seems hardest to me is the weird disconnect between what happens in real life and what happens in my head. By this I mean: In my head/heart I am completely heartbroken and devastated. It feels like something significant has happened in my life. It feels like something important has been lost and I feel changed forever.
In real life, its like nothing of significance has happened. You can’t take a day off from work (or if you do, you have to lie and say it is a sick day). There is no one checking that you are ok. There is no ceremony or ritual. My husband took Spot’s body away almost right away (“before the vet closes!”), almost like he was trash. (I’m know my husband did not think of it like that; not criticizing him). Its not that I want attention or strangers prying into my pain, but I feel like something significant happened, and I want the occasion marked or observed in some way.
Missing Spot a lot, especially when I go home and he’s not looking out the window from his favorite seat as I drive up to the house. At night, I would give him his dinner (he ate “geriatric” food, so I’d feed him alone, away from the younger cats we have), I would lie on my stomach on the floor by him and talk to him, or read the mail or my email, etc. After he finished eating, he would always sit on my back for about 10 minutes and purr, then he’d wash his face, then wander off to do whatever his evening activities were. I miss this silly interaction so much.
Sorry this is so glum. I’m trying hard to think of all the good stuff, and to be happy that he had such a long life, but his loss hurts.

Hi Sweet Spot's Mom,

All of what you have written is so very understandable. It's a bizarre world we live in where such excruciating losses go "unrecognized." In general, society has a long ways to go in valuing the preciousness and sanctity of (non-human) animal lives. And on a personal level, when the animals are our pets, they are our children and it's mind-boggling and painful to realize that so many others don't feel the same way.

Thankfully, a lot do. I am thankful for sites such as this where we share similar values.

Keep sharing how you're doing. I know this journey is difficult beyond belief.

We're here for you,

Kathy

Hardest at night -- Spot should be doing all his regular bed time things: standing on my nightstand, illicitly drinking my water, then stamping on me, then the pillow until he has "stamped" out a good place to sleep.

I do believe that I will see him again, I just wish he could have spent some more time here with me.

I love and miss you Sweet Spot. Thank you for loving us and being our friend.

Hi, BabyHenry, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. As our forum friend Kathy has so accurately described this world is bizzare in what it "values" and what it considers "expendable." Although clinical professionals in general now recognize that the grief journey for the physical loss of a beloved companion is the same as for a human family member or friend, unfortunately our society in general - - and sometimes the people who are closest to us geographically and emotionally - - do not. This is one of the many reasons why this wonderful forum is here as a safe place where we can come to share what is in our hearts and on our minds as we travel our grief adjustment journey knowing that we are among friends who truly DO understand what we are going through for as long and as often as we need to.

I see that your beloved Pumpkin joined the angels in February and now your Sweet Spot only 6 months later. The grief adjustment journey for the loss of a beloved companion is never easy, but I know all too well from first hand experience that multiple losses so close together intensifies, and can prolong, the grief journey. So - - for whatever worth this bit of encouragement is - - please know what you are feeling is very normal deep grief, BabyHenry.

During the deep grief it is hard to think of our memories and "be happy" - - for our hearts are shattered with the painful task of adjusting to the "new normal" that no longer includes the physical presence of our beloved companion because we live in a physically oriented world governed by the five senses of sight, sound, taste, touch, and smell. We are now faced with the enormous task of re-inventing our daily routines that no longer includes the physical needs and presence of our beloved companion. This is one of the many reaons why this grief journey can only be traveled one day at a time, sometimes one moment at a time, and why it is important that we allow ourselves the opportunities we need to openly grieve for our beloved companion even if we must find a private place away from others to do it.

BabyHenry, I hope today is treating you kindly and that you will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Henry's, Pumpkin's and Sweet Spot's sweet Living Spirits to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Dear Spot:

It's been one week today. Last Sunday, you and I were out on the lawn together. You looked so happy to be out. Sitting next to me a purring up a storm. Then you came in and ate a big dinner. I would have stayed home on Monday with you, if I had know there was no more time.

Tomorrow, they will give me your ashes back.

Missing you so so much. Love you always.

Hi, BabyHenry, thank you so much for sharing with us your and your beloved Sweet Spot's one week angel-versary. Indeed, getting our beloved companion's ashes is a two-sided coin: on the one side it can be comforting having them back home where they belong, while the other side is yet another painful "reality" they are no longer with us in the physical form our hearts and arms long for. I can so feel your deep sorrow and know it so very well from first hand experience "If I had only known". Unfortunately we are not gifted with foreknowledge as to the how when where our beloved companions will transition from this earthly journey. Hopefully, eventually, comfort comes in knowing their sweet Living Spirit is always and forever with us in our hearts and memories - - they are always and forever a heartbeat close to us.

BabyHenry, I hope today is treating you kindly and that you will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Henry's, Pumpkin's and Sweet Spot's sweet Living Spirits to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Dearest Spotter -

The weekend is coming, and I dread it because I know I will miss you more.
Daddy forgot to get your ashes on Tuesday, and I don't want to remind him because I don't want to say the words out loud.
I love you. I hope you know how much you were loved and appreciated. You were not a big cuddler, so it was always hard to "tell" you.

Dear Spot-

Thought a lot about you this weekend. Missed you. We got your ashes back. I couldn't think what to do with them, so for now I put them in "your" spot on the window ledge where you loved to sit. Silly I know.

When Henry, then Pumpkin died we talked a lot about missing them, and how they and you were my extra special "trio" since you three were the first cats I ever met. I hope you know/knew how much I love you and how grateful I am to have known you.

Miss you and love you.

Mamma

Dear Henry, Pumpkin and Spotty:

Thinking about you three a lot lately, especially tonight. I realize that losing you, Spot, made losing you, Henry and Pumpkin, more real. It's as if in my crazy mind as long as one of the "trio" was still around the loss of the others was not as complete. Now I just feel stricken.
We (Spots and I) would talk a lot about missing you two, and Spots, you would look at me with your wise little face like you understood.
Miss you all so much. I'm trying to be thankful for the time we had but it hurts. I read a prayer that said that love between God's creatures doesn't die. I want to believe that but I feel like I'm holding the kite string after the kite blew away.
Love always. Me.

Hi, BabyHenry, thank you so much for sharing with us this beautiful love letter to your beloved Henry, Pumpkin, and Spot. I can soooo relate to how you're feeling when you share with us "It's as if in my crazy mind as long as one of the "trio" was still around the loss of the others was not as complete. Now I just feel stricken." I know so very well from first hand experience what it is like to lose the physical presence of each of my companions. In my younger years I eventually embraced a new companion into my heart and home. Now that I am a very senior person with declining strength with my sole survivor precious feline companion Noah by my side I know that he is my last companion during my earthly journey, and there are times when I am overwhelmed by feelings of total loss at this prospect. The comfort comes in knowing that the love bond with my beloved companions is eternal, and I will have their sweet Living Spirits to comfort and cheer me through my remaining journey in this earthly realm. So please know what you are feeling is very normal, BabyHenry.

I hope today, and every day, is treating you kindly and that you will have peaceful evenings blessed with your beloved Henry's, Pumpkin's and Spot's sweet Living Spirits to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Dear Spot:

Its the 5th. 3 days until its been 2 months since I came home and found your little wise soul had left us. I miss you every day, especially at night when there is no one sleeping on my pillow. I love you. Thank you for appearing at the door that May day with your little paw pressed up against the window, and being our loving friend for the 13 years thereafter.

Love, me.