On June 4 my family welcomed little Milo into our family, about 11 weeks after the death of my 5 year old black lab Titan. I reached out on this site after the tragic loss of my dog, and one comment stood out to me. Someone had mentioned that Titan has already picked out our next furbaby for us, which was a thought I had not considered. My parents started looking into our next dog, even though Titan's death was so recent, just to get an idea of what kind of breed we wanted (since we didn't want to get another black lab because we didn't want to replace Titan), and where we wanted to get one from. My parents went to check out a nearby breeder so my mom could get a sense of what the breed, golden retriever, was like. When we showed up at the breeder's there was a for sale sign on the lot, as the breeder was getting older and needed to sell the business. However, the last name of the real estate that was advertised on the sign was the same as ours, which seemed like a bit of a sign. We went in to look around, and I fell in love with a dog named Big Ben, whose big eyes and facial structure bore a striking resemblance to my baby Titan, despite being of a different breed, and of course that made me cry, my dog's death being so fresh.

The breeder had multiple pregnant dogs that were due very soon, but one litter had been born earlier than expected, so we were able to view some very young puppies. Coincidentally, the litter had two puppies not yet reserved, and given that all the puppies of the not yet born litters were reserved, we couldn't help but feel like it was another sign, even though the timing was not quite what I expected. It seemed too soon after Titan's passing, but the puppies would be available just in time for the summer, which would be good since the majority of my family would be on break from school/work and able to care for a puppy. Ben also happened to be the father of the mother of the litter (therefore the grandfather of the puppies), which seemed poetic. Given the deep loss we felt at home, and the fact that no one can resist puppies, we ended up reserving a puppy on that litter. With all of the grief and mourning, there seemed to be a light at the end of the tunnel since we would have a new family member soon. However, I was still very nervous about the idea of a new dog so soon after Titan, afraid of comparing the new puppy to Titan, of loving it too little or too much, afraid of replacing the dog I had lost.

A couple weeks passed and we went to visit the breeder to see our litter. However, we arrived to find that the mother had lost two of her puppies, and so we had been bumped out of that litter. It really hit me hard, the fragility of life, and maybe a sign that we shouldn't be getting a new dog so soon. The breeder now had about five litters on the go, and due to changes in reservations we were able to get onto a different litter. I was more hesitant, because I had become attached to the idea of getting a puppy from out original litter, and was scared to get my hopes up given how common it seemed for litters to lose puppies early on. But as it turned out, the new litter had a more experienced mom, and the breeder was confident she wouldn't lose any pups, and the sire of this litter was Ben, which was exciting because of how much I loved Ben. We ended up being 4th pick of 5 males, meaning we would have two puppies to choose from. We came back to visit the puppies multiple times over the eight weeks, watching them grow and trying not to develop any attachments since we were 4th pick and would not get to choose until the day we took our puppy home. Over the eight weeks we prepared to bring our puppy home, excited and nervous. Finally, the day came to choose our puppy, and I was anxious and excited at the same time. When we went in to choose our puppy, there were only two left, as the females had already been taken home, and the others had already taken their males home. but when we walked in, we noticed that one of the two puppies left was the runt of the litter, which we had known to be a girl. Having been busy with so many litters at once, the breeder had gotten mixed up and thought that the runt was a boy, and was surprised when we told him otherwise and discovered it to be true. As adorable as the runt was, she wasn't ready to go home yet because of her size, and I had my heart set on a little boy (Though if we were last pick and the runt was the only one left, I definitely would have taken her home regardless, because it would have been meant to be). So we were left with the one male left, and took him home.

I couldn't help but remember the comment that had said titan would pick out a new puppy for us, and it seemed to resonate in this situation, where we didn't really have two dogs to choose from after all. This little fella was chosen for us, and in looking at the events that lead to this moment, I couldn't help but think it to be true. Our last name being on the for sale sign. A space being open in the first litter. The first litter losing two puppies and pushing us onto the second litter, whose sire was Ben, the dog that reminded me of Titan. And then having only one male left in the end when we were supposed to be able to choose from two. Even a little shift in timing could have changed everything, especially since the for sale sign was taken down by the time we went to pick up our puppy. If that sign hadn't been there, would we have chosen that breeder? If that litter hadn't been open, would we have reserved a slot instead of just looking, as was the original plan? If we hadn't signed on, would we have ever ended up with the litter we got? If there hadn't been a gender mix up and there were two males to choose from in the end, would we have gone home with a different dog? So many coincidences, it can't possibly be coincidence at all. Titan had this planned all along, and he chose out little Milo Elliot Thatch for us. I miss my dog Titan so so much but I find peace in knowing that he brought little Milo into our lives, and that he is watching over us from doggy heaven.

Hi, MyBabyTitan, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. Please permit me to offer you my sincerest congratulations on your new family member Milo Elliot Thatch. He is soooooo adorable. There is no doubt that your beloved Titan guided your path to embracing precious Milo into your heart and home. Golden Retrievers are wonderful companions, similar to Labs in temperament. May you and your precious Milo have a long, happy, healthy earthly journey together.

I hope today is treating you and your precious Milo kindly, and that you will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Titan's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, MyBabyTitan, and please let us know you, and your precious Milo, are doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Hi, MyBabyTitan,

Congratulations on your lucky new family member!!

I believe I was the one (possibly others said the same thing too) who mentioned that Titan may be in the process of picking out someone for you. I love the signs you mentioned.

Again, congratulations on Milo Elliot Thatch, and let us know how things go!

Kathy
P.S. Titan is proud.

Hi MyBabyTitan,

I wanted to get some insight as to how it felt bringing a new puppy into your life after the passing of Titan. I lost my little pug, Marty only 2 weeks ago and have been having a really hard time adjusting. I recently saw that two older pugs are up for adoption nearby, and their foster mother thinks we should schedule a meet and greet. I know we could provide a happy home for either, but I am really struggling with the idea of replacing Marty so soon, and bringing another animal into the home we shared with him. I guess I just wanted to ask if you felt that way when you got Milo, and if you can offer any advice on the guilt I am feeling for even considering a new dog. Thank you and congratulations on your new addition

It was really hard, and I cried the first time I went to look at the breeder's and the puppies. I felt a lot of guilt, terrified of trying to replace him, terrified of trying too hard to make the other dog be like the one I'd lost, which wouldn't be fair to Titan or Milo. I was afraid of resenting the new puppy for not being Titan, and was also terrified of loving him more or less than I love Titan. But it was also exciting, bringing a new member into the family. Because at the end of the day we can't bring back the ones we'd lost, and we shouldn't let our grief stop us from giving another animal the amazing life we've given our others pets. If it weren't for Titan passing, Milo would never have come into my life, and I love him dearly. Before we brought Milo home, I would still have changed everything in a heart beat to bring back Titan. However, as much as I love Titan, I know there is no way that if it were possible, I would give up Milo to bring Titan back, I couldn't trade one for the other. I love Milo, but differently, not more or less than Titan, and I know that getting Milo was the best thing for my family, even if there are moments when I struggle, when I compare the two of them. Giving my love to another dog made the pain less, knowing that Titan wouldn't want me to mourn him forever, and to never get another dog. Titan would want me to give another dog the great life we gave him, and to love him as fiercely as I loved Titan.
But that doesn't mean you should rush it. Take time to mourn, don't just try to bandaid the wound. A dog, any animal, is not meant to replace another, because just like people they are unique, and deserve a relationship developed based on you and the new animal, not on the expectations and the experiences of the relationship with and the personality of the previous pet. When you're ready, it will fall into place. You may not know you're ready until you meet the next little animal that is meant to be yours, and if you're a person of faith, trust that Marty will be guiding you toward your next furbaby, perhaps even choosing them for you like I believe Titan chose Milo for me.
I hope that helps you, and my sincerest condolences for the loss of little Marty.