This is my first posting, so apologies if it's in the wrong area or I post things I'm not supposed to...(and it is long), and I know a lot of this is me pouring out my worries...

I grew up with pets, we always had a dog and a cat. When my sisters and I grew up and got our own places, it was still my parents, and a dog and a cat. WHen my father passed away, my mother later admitted to me that she went into a deep funk, except she remembered that our family dog, Duke, needed to be walked and fed and petted. When he went across the Bridge exactly two months after my father's passing, I held onto both him (he was 15) and my mom when we had to take him to the vet.

Mom came back to an empty home and my sister immediately brought over her own cat, Cleo, for Mom. Cleo moved to FL with Mom, and when Mom came back to NY, Cleo came, then one of my cousins took her in (Cleo had a rather playful-if-you're-not-diabetic habit of grabbing Mom's ankles).

At the time, I was into showing my Maine Coon, and a fellow breeder had a year-old boy that was show-worthy but shy, and so Jesse came home with me from a show then I brought him over to Mom's apartment.

That was 16 years ago, and it was love at first sight between Mom and Jesse.

A true gentle giant, at 28 pounds, it was fun watching my petite mom taking him to the vet or the groomers. He trained her to change the litterbox every single time he had a BM (waiting by her side to be sure she did it correctly), and she trained him to use the litterbox right before she headed out of the apartment to work. A bit shy around my nieces and nephews, Jesse loves my mom.

But in the 16 years, he has had a non-ending series of issues with his teeth and gums and has had surgeries to remove teeth and small lumps from his jaw. Thank goodness he has an amazing veterinarian who will accept my credit card online; we've lived in south TX for the past 13 years and Mom now lives near one of my sisters in North NJ. My husband and I have no problem taking care of Jesse's vet bills; we presently have 6 cats and 2 dogs all ranging in age from 17 years to 2 years, and maintain a separate account.

But this morning my mom called me at work - which she never does - and then hemmed and hawed then started to cry. If anyone here knows how heartbreaking THAT sound is, you can understand. She had brought Jesse to the vet and he needed several labs run, and she didn't have the money. I didn't even ask 'how much', just called the vet, made the arrangements, then called her back and sat outside (in unseasonably-for-south-TX-COLD-42 degree weather) to calm her down.

For the past few weeks Jesse had been going downhill and she didn't want to 'worry' me. He's down to 11 pounds, though he still has his appetite and uses the litterbox. But she let slip that one of his remaining two (!) teeth seemed to be protruding and she thought she saw blood from his nose. So to the vet she goes then calls me.

The vet called me later to let me know that the lab samples were taken (blood and a biopsy from a yet-another lump in his gums), gave him an antibiotic shot to make him comfortable, and that Mom was on her way to the vet to bring him home and that he would call me as soon as the lab samples were processed. I asked him, well, I TOLD him that both my mom and I feel that if whatever is now going on with Jesse will leave him in agony, to let us know, and he told me that he's not the type of vet that puts an owner's feelings before a pet's pain...if Jesse's quality of life would suffer, he would let us know and I respect him for that.


My mom, my sisters, all of us know what it is like to lose a pet. We see the signs, we prepare, we think we'll be able to handle it even knowing that we won't...but this time I am scared for my mom. I know that whatever is wrong with Jesse, if it's something that will cause him more pain, or if he simply curls up in a ball in his favorite box and falls to a permanent sleep, my mom will be able to deal with it, but at the same time, not.

For the past 16 years, it's been Mom and Jesse. My two sisters help her with her apartment, and it took the two of them three years to find a perfect senior housing complex that will accept pets because she didn't want to give up Jesse. When she was sick, she still got up to take care of him, and she has had me promise through the years that if she outlived Jesse, that he would always have a home with me (this is so true).

But the timing of all this is spooking me. 16 years ago, my father was diagnosed with brain cancer right before New years, and passed 6 weeks later, and 5 years ago, my mother's only sister passed away Jan 10. I really worry that she will sink into a deep depression, and when I blurted out to my husband that I had to find her another cat the second Jesse is gone because coming back to an empty apartment would kill her, he started to cry (he loves my mom, plus he's a crazy cat man).

My mom is 81. She's one of the toughest people I know, but she's also had to watch, hold hands, of her husband, her sister, her mother, her brother, all pass. Her beloved cat might be the final straw and the thought of THAT is already tearing me apart. How can I help? I already know that all she has to do is say the word, and I will take time from work, my husband will drive me to the airport, and my sisters and I will be with her when she needs us. It's just really hard trying to be strong for someone who was always the strong one, and worried that when the inevitable happens, that she won't let us know.

Sorry for my rant/vent/wail. I'm just used to having to hold everything in when our pets were passing (because my husband is the one that falls apart and one of us has to remain, well, lucid). Jesse's a good cat, he's been a gentle companion for my mom. I know that he cannot nor he will not be replaced, though I do think that my mother deserves to continue to be loved, even if it's by a small hairy animal.

Hi, Blaise, thank you so much for sharing with us what is happening with your mom's precious Jesse. I can so understand your concern for your mom, and how she will respond to the moment when her precious Jesse is no longer physically with her. Please know your mom's precious Jesse, and your mom, are in my thoughts and prayers that the vet will be able to diagnose Jesse's health status and will hopefully be able to offer support in restoring him to a good quality of life for awhile longer. Please let us know how things go.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Thank you so much, and I appreciate all thoughts. Part of me wants him to not be in pain, part of me wants him to stick around, just for my mom's sake. She's a devout person, and I know she's accepting whatever will happen, but it's still hard to watch, especially since I'm a full day's travel away.

Thanks everyone, I'll let you know what is going on with Jesse as soon as I can figure out exactly what the issue with his poor mouth is.

You and your siblings are so supportive to your Mom. What a huge blessing for her!

Do you think, when the time comes, that your Mom might consider adopting another animal who needs her, in Jesse's honor? Someone who needs your Mom as much as she might need him/her?

Blessings to you, your Mom, and Jesse! Keep us posted!

Kathy

Recently my mother was in a similar situation. She has seen passing of my dad to cancer, and the passing of their loved dog shortly after, the loss of her brother at age 40 and the death of her mother. So a lot of sadness. She too is a strong woman. She recently lost her much loved dog Honey and was alone. She didnt think she could take on another animal because she was missing her dog so much and her age, and she became very depressed. My sister and I decided to act and got her an ex breeding 6yo bitch from a breeder, of her favourite breed. My sister will take it on if anything happens to my mother who is 85 and in fine health.

Sure it is not her beloved Honey but it has given her some purpose and a reason to go for a walk at her local park. There is also a welcome when she gets back home. She still misses Honey terribly and will never really get over the loss of my dad, but I think she has been much better since taking on the new dog.

I hope things go well for Jesse, it is such a difficult time.

Well, the first of the results came back, and it is lymphoma, one of the last stages. Mom sounded calm, which means that KNOWING what is wrong with Jesse sort of helps. She called to let me know, and to ask how to dose him; his vet prescribed a prednisone-type medication that is administered in a chicken-flavored paste, and she had no idea how to deal with the needless syringe. I told her just to put the med on her fingertip and Jesse lapped it all up.

My heart is still breaking. I called my sister, the one that lives near her (and is a Nurse Practitioner, so she knows to keep an extra eye on Mom) to let me know when, well, when Jesse will inevitably need That Visit, if it comes to that, so I will head there ASAP.

MY beloved Golden Retriever, Bailey, also had sarcoma (there's a reason it's called "Golden Cancer", and we weren't able to catch it early enough. We had the choice of having that poor sweet dog go through chemo or surgery, when one day he wandered to his favorite spot in the backyard for his nap, and never woke up. Sometimes, even after our lawnguys finish with the yard, we'll find a tennis ball (his favorite toy), just laying near where he had his last nap.

I want this for Jesse, to have my Mom give him his nightly blessing (he would sit by her and she would rub his forehead and bless him then he would head to his little beaten-up bed), have him curl up and go in peace.

Hi, Blaise, thank you so much for sharing with us how your mom's precious Jesse is doing. I know so very well from first hand experience how heartbreaking it is to receive confirmation of a cancer diagnosis. I have learned through the years - - both in human and veterinary medicine - - that although a procedure "can be done" does not necessarily mean that it is in the best interest of the patient to "have it done." Your beloved Bailey was blessed to transition home to the angels peacefully, and I pray this will be the process for your mom's precious Jesse as well. Please let us know how things go.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam