It's been one week today that my sweet boy Capone left us. He had sudden kidney failure and we were told by the vet it was time. It all happened so fast and I was quite a mess all last week. He was almost 12 years old and
we really thought there would be more time with him. I think of him everyday, several times. It has gotten somewhat better. I find when I'm at work and occupied I'm OK, but when I see his picture on my phone or
look at his urn with his ashes, or toys, I still mist up. We took our other Lab to the park yesterday and I cried because we had planned on taking both dogs there together. I know he misses his buddy and that makes me sad also.
The car ride to and from work is long and that's when I think of him most and cry. Today was the first day I didn't cry (a lot) It still hurts, but I must say that just being on this chat room and hearing other's stories has
helped me immensely. Just knowing that other's are going thru similar situations and that they understand how it feels makes a huge difference. I know it will take some time before I can look at his pictures and think of him and smile instead of cry, but I really feel like I'm getting there and hope that others who read this will
feel that as well. At this time last week I couldn't imagine smiling or laughing again, but now I know that I can. I will never fully heal (it feels like) but as time goes on I know it'll get better.
So if I can say one thing to everyone who feels lost and alone and overcome with sadness, please know with a little time and the help of friends and family, it will be OK. You will smile again

Thanks for listening and God bless you all.

Hi,

I can completely understand your feelings. It is also exactly a week to this hour when I had to drive my female st benard to the er. I have had her for 10 years. It is really rough. I posted as well but no response except from moon bean ... . Chea was a very nice dog and i knew she was getting old but her death came unexpectatly and too soon. She died of GDV (bloat).
Like you, my week has gone very bad... the first two days just awful... couldn't even look at her things before getting really emotional. I still have her food bowl and water bowl out, have not moved it or emptied the water of food... not ready to do that yet. I need to shampoo the back of my car but I cannot just yet, I sprayed some things to soak, but if I start to really clean it, it will remind me of the bad day last Monday when I had to drive her. I will clean it soon, in fact tomorrow I will. Really rough stuff. But I feel a little bit better knowing that there is someonelse who also lost a dear family meber a week ago today! I had to euthanize my dog since surgery wasn't looking very promising, I regret not performing the surgery.

What helps me is to look at pictures and video clips of her, it reminds me of her happy life ....

The worst part for me is that EVERY site I go... states high survival rate even if the dog is old AND great success story on how surgery helped, not ONE story where a dog has died during or after surgery. This makes me feel worse, I should have never euthanized my dog. I should have gone ahead with surgery. I don't think there is anyone on this website whom have done surgery with unsuccessful results... not that I wish that but it would help me with closure to hear that dogs can still die even with surgery.

Hi, caponemom, please permit me to offer you my sincerest sympathies in the physical loss of your beloved Capone. Losing a companion is never easy regardless of the circumstances or how long we are blessed with the privilege of their company. Euthanasia is the last gift of love we can give to our companions at great sacrifice to ourselves so that they can be restored to their former youthfulness in the company of the angels.

Caponemom, this grief journey is one filled with many different emotions that can overwhelm us all at one time which is one of the many reasons why it is frequently referred to as a horror roller coaster ride. Our emotions are so unpredictable during the deep grief and we have little control over them. I so do understand how you're feeling when you share with us: "The car ride to and from work is long and that's when I think of him most and cry." From first hand experience I remember all so well the gut-wrenching sobbing particularly on the way home after having to put on the "public face" at work. Once I got into the car the floodgates of tears just burst from having been suppressed while in the office.

Although your grief journey is one of adjusting to the physical absence of your beloved Capone, there is one thing that will never change: the love bond you and your beloved Capone share. Love is eternal - - it is not restricted to the physical laws of time and space. Your beloved Capone's sweet Living Spirit continues to share your earthly journey as he always has and always will for he is always and forever a part of your heart and memories - - he is always and forever a heartbeat close to you.

I know all too well from first hand experience that when our hearts are entrenched in deep grief there are no adequate words in any language that can soothe the searing pain of sorrow. Still I hope the words I share with you will offer you some measure of comfort, support, encouragement, and hope as you travel your grief adjustment journey.

Thank you so much for honoring us in sharing your beloved Capone with us. Perhaps sometime you will feel up to sharing a picture of him with us - - but only when / if you want to. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Caponemom, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Hi Goldenthings74,
Thanks for your response, I am truly sorry for your loss as well. I know it's easy for someone else to say this, but please don't feel guilty. There are no guarantees and your Chea was obviously in distress. I
know it's easy to second guess yourself, I have done it also. There were many factors involved in the decision you made, I can't say I would have know what to do either. Just know that she is resting comfortably now and in a happy place.
That's how I think of Capone. We'll always miss them in our lives and the hole that they leave will never be filled, but you will be OK, I know this. We always know when we get a pet that they will most likely pass before we will, but it's always worth having them.
It's never enough time. With us, we have another dog, Dugan, and we are focusing on him now. He misses Capone too, they were very close, but you know what, he's doing fine and that makes me happy.
I hope that I have been able to help ease your pain at least a little. I really do understand and feel for you. Take it one day at a time and before you know it, the pain will fade.
I look forward to the day when I can talk about Capone with a smile and no tears!! We'll both get there.

Thank you for your kind words, it helps so much. Just to be able to read and share with others going thru a tough time is so therapeutic. I've never gotten on a chat room before, but so glad I did this time.
It's wonderful to know others care and want to offer comfort.
Again, thank you- I really am feeling much better. Day by day...