Hi,

This last Monday my 9 year old St Benard suddenly started to vomit and cry... I knew something was wrong, I rushed her to the ER and they stabilized her, she was in good care but they told me that she had bloat and needed surgery right away. I asked her if surgery would help and she told me there was a 50% chance of successful recovery. However, she felt that there were other issues that may complicate the surgery, there was no guarantee. I know that St Benard average lifespan is 9 and 10-12 at maximum. I knew she was getting older but she was still active and mobile, she wasn't suffering from demetia or so old that she couldn't use the bathroom by herself. Anyways, the surgery was $5,000 with no gurantee... but if succesful it would have bought her 1-2 more years. My husband thought that euthanasia was the only humane choice. The vet techs felt positive about the surgery but the vet didn't give me that same feeiling. Things were happening so fast and I was pressured to make a decision, I was told the longer I wait the worse it is for Chea. I decided to sadly euthanize her. I regret doing that now. I researched the GDV and found out that there is a higher survival rate in older dogs etc..I am having a hard time with her passing and was wondering if there are anyone else who have had their dog euthanized instead of a surgery and later regres it or anyone with GDV incident. ( as far as the money, I could have asked family members to help etc..we could have started the surgery and she would have had to stay at the hospital for a few days, during that time i could have raised the cash)...

My grieving process is the usual... saddness, guilt and anger... I am in the anger phase right now. Angry at myself for not thinking more clear and angry at my husband for pushing the euthanasia and wishing the vet tech had a stronger voice when Chea really needed it.

Hi, goldenthings, please permit me to offer you my sincerest sympathies in the physical loss of your beloved Chea. Losing a companion is never easy regardless of the circumstances or how long we are blessed with the privilege of their company. Euthanasia is the last gift of love we can give to our companions at great sacrifice to ourselves so that they can be restored to their former youthfulness in the company of the angels.

Goldenthings, this grief journey is one of the most painful experiences you will know on this side of eternity. It is a journey filled with many different emotions that can overwhelm us all at one time - - which is one of the many reasons why it is frequently referred to as a horror roller coaster ride. It is a journey that can only be traveled one day at a time, sometimes one moment at a time in your own way and in your own time for you are now on a journey that is filled with all the first withouts and the memories that can be all too painful right now that include this time yesterday, last week, last month, last year to endure.

When there is an emergency situation it is perfectly normal to feel unsure of the decisions you make at the time. And it is perfectly normal to want to "know" that the decisions you made were the "right ones" particularly when the outcome results in a painful loss. Although veterinary medicine has made great strides in providing intensive, invasive, medical procedures that can hopefully restore our companion's health so that they can continue to enjoy a good quality of life does not mean that the procedure "should be done" in every case. While a vet tech can be helpful in supportive care for our companions they do not have the extensive training and experience that a licensed veterinarian has. From what you share with us it appears to me that the treating veterinarian had concerns about Chea's overall health - - which is a major concern when attempting to perform a major invasive surgery for GDV. If the veterinarian had attempted the surgery and your beloved Chea succumbed to heart failure what would have been your decision then - - to attempt to revive her or let her go peacefully under the anesthesia? Sadly, there comes a time when difficult, painful choices need to made under less than "ideal" circumstances. From what you share with us, goldenthings, it is perfectly clear that you made the best decision for your beloved Chea to let her go without the enduring the stress of major invasive surgery.

It is obvious that you still have questions about the circumstances of what was happening with your beloved Chea. Perhaps at some point in time you may feel up to making an appointment with the treating ER veterinarian so that she can share with you the medical reasons why she did not feel encouraged about your beloved Chea's survival undergoing the surgery.

Goldenthings, your beloved Chea knows that you love her and would move heaven and earth to give her a happy, healthy earthly journey. Under the circumstances of her emergency situation, she knows that you made the absolute best decision for her. I hope in time you will be able to find a peace in your heart because this is what your beloved Chea wants for you.

Although you are now faced with the incredibly painful adjustment to the physical absence of your beloved Chea, there is one thing that will never change: the love bond you and your beloved Chea share. Love is eternal, goldenthings - - it is not restricted to the physical laws of time and space. Your beloved Chea's sweet Living Spirit continues to share your earthly journey as she always has and always will for she is always and forever a part of your heart and memories, goldenthings - - she is always and forever a heartbeat close to you.

I know all too well from first hand experience that when our hearts are entrenched in deep grief there are no adequate words in any language that can soothe the searing pain of sorrow. Still I hope the words I share with you will offer you some measure of comfort, support, encouragement, and hope as you travel your grief adjustment journey.

Thank you so much for honoring us in sharing your beloved Chea with us, and the wonderful picture of her. She is so beautiful, and you are blessed to be her heir to her eternal love. Please know you are among friends here who truly do understand what you are going through, that you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam