I can't believe it has been seven days since Tank, our beautiful cat, was hit by a car and died.
My son, who the cat belonged to, is doing OK, although when I asked him yesterday, he just said, "I'm coping by not thinking about him. I can't think about him, it's too sad." This worries me. THis is the way my husband 'copes', by pretending everything is OK, and then he gets really ill. A few days/weeks form now, he will be stuck in bed, exhausted and sick, and i know it's because he isn't expressing that grief. I just don't want my son to be the same. He is so emotionally sensitive, I think maybe he is actually still in denial - he simply can't accept the painful truth.
I wake up feeling so sick and empty that I don't want to put my feet on the floor, I just want to go back to sleep forever.
This place is about the only thing keeping me going.
I am hoping for a better day.

Thanks everyone

Hi, Jane, thank you so much for sharing with us how you and your son are doing. It is recognized by clinical professionals that children grieve differently from adults, and that men grieve differently from women. I share your concern about the way your son is grieving, or not, for his beloved Tank. Boys are influenced by others in their lives - - peers, teachers, adult men - - that crying is a sign of weakness in a boy / man, and that when loss is experienced a boy / man is not supposed to show their emotions - - because it makes them look weak, makes them look like a "sissy", - - and all the other infinite inappropriate "social" labels. I am concerned that the school attendance administrator may have said something to him directly, or to his teacher(s) which was then relayed to your son to let him know that his absence from school was "inappropriate" - - and that perhaps some of the children may have teased him about it. Also, not seeing his father grieve for Tank can be confusing to your son as well - - and it is natural for a son to want to emulate his father.

It is important that you let your son know that it is okay to grieve for his beloved Tank, and this is where - - perhaps - - a book or two written for children may be helpful. The book(s) may also help you in helping your son find ways to express his feelings. This is not a "one time" day of expressing sorrow - - for there will be many times during this year - - particularly around the holidays - - that your son, and you, may feel a new deep sorrow in your heart. I cannot stress enough how important it is that your son and you find a way to share your sorrow together, and for your son to feel comfortable and confident about sharing his sorrow - - both now and in his adult years.

During the deep grief every minute of every hour of every day will be a continuous reminder that your beloved Tank is no longer physically with you. It's a part of this very painful grief adjustment journey - - both emotionally and physically. Scientific studies prove that every time our companions rub / touch us, lick / kiss us they are chemically imprinting themselves onto us so that they can identify us from all the other people on this planet. When they precede us to the angels we literally go through a withdrawal from this chemical imprint. This is one of the many reasons why this grief adjustment journey is painful both emotionally and physically, and is one of the many reasons why this journey can only be traveled one day at a time, sometimes one moment at a time. Grieving takes energy to endure, and it is normal for you to feel like you have no energy reserves - - that your body is craving sleep because sleeping is one of Nature's way of healing our bodies and minds from stress, illness, and traumatic events.

I hope today is treating you, your son, and your precious Austin kindly, Jane, and that each of you will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Tank's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you, your son, and your precious Austin are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how each of you are doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam