My baby Mell crossed to the other side 3 months ago at age 14... on 5th June a vet killed her.

Mell...Are you still here? I am still calling your name everyday..I open my eyes in the morning saying good morning Mell...hoping you are there at the corner of the bed or on your favorite chair sleeping and hearing me then coming to me as usual purring as happy as you used to be..I still go to the kitchen imagining you standing there beside the refrigerator like everyday in the morning looking at me while I am making my morning tea...I still look at your picture and talk to you..I know your physical body is not here anymore, but I do hope that your soul is still here with me...some animal communicators say that our babies' souls are still around us as they watch for us regularly...
I still cry everyday, I still hope one day I meet you, I look at your photos daily, watch your videos, miss your smell, your foxy look, the way you yawn and your breath..I MISS YOU

Baby do you know that Zout (Mell's sister) is very ill, has lung fibrosis and we all know she has not much time left...we are doing our best but it is chronic...just to add more sadness to the empty dull lifeless life I live without you...

Please Mell do not leave me, you know you are in my heart forever...I need you here tho, I need you beside me and I do not know what to do...I want you back...what can I give to get you back? My life is shattered without you I do not go out I do not answer my phone I do not wanna talk most of the time..I even feel guilty when I smile...I just need you back my baby..your mommy needs you badly and loves you dearly...I love you.

Hi, Yaz, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing, and for sharing your and your beloved Mella's three month angel-versary. Indeed, during the deep grief we measure each minute of every hour of every day by the many daily angel-versaries that are like a piercing sword in our hearts. Please let me try to reassure you that what you are feeling is very normal deep grief.

Since you have serious concerns over the treatment your beloved Mella received, I would like you to consider looking into having an independent review done on your beloved Mella's treatment by your local / State Veterinary Licensing Board. This is your right, and the review may help you find some peace in your heart. It is your right to obtain copies of your beloved Mella's medical records and then submit copies to the Veterinary Licensing Board for review (be sure to keep copies of her medical records for yourself). If it is determined that the treating veterinarian provided improper treatment then he / she will be subject to corrective action and you may be eligible for some form of compensation. Like human medicine it also takes a lot in veterinary medicine to prove "malpractice" so there is no guarantee that the findings of the Licensing Board will be of comfort to you in the long run. But it is an option you have that you may want to think about. There are other people who have come here who have had concerns about the way their beloved companions were treated by veterinary professionals and have opted for an independent review. Whatever you decide will be the right decision for you, and please know we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us.

I also wish to offer you my sincere condolences on your precious Zout's serious medical challenge with lung fibrosis. Not only are you grieving the physical loss of your beloved Mella but are now going through Anticipatory Grief with your precious Zout. Losing one companion is painful all on its own - - realizing that you will soon be losing another precious companion intensifies the grief.

Yaz, I hope today is treating you and your precious Zout kindly, and that you will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Mella's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers as you continue to travel your grief adjustment journey, and please let us know how you, and your precious Zout, are doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam